Today’s a new day. And before I say anything else, I want to say thank you to the very few friends who have stayed by my side during this crazy, beautiful health journey. You know who you are. You are definitely in the minority. Your texts, your calls, your presence — not just your emojis — have meant more than you’ll ever know. It’s both funny and heartbreaking how someone can be celebrated as the “flavor of the month” for a season in the Christian community, applauded, platformed, and praised… yet the moment that same person enters a difficult health season, many quietly disappear. Some walk away from the responsibility to love and care as quickly as you can say, “Bless your heart, I’ll be praying for you.”
I’ve seen this especially in Christian men’s circles. Brotherhood is preached. Loyalty is applauded. Accountability is emphasized. But when things get uncomfortable — when illness lingers, when strength looks like weakness, when there’s nothing flashy or impressive to celebrate — friendships often fade. A thumbs up on a post. Prayer hands in a text. Maybe an occasional visit to check a box. And while those gestures aren’t meaningless, they’re not the fullness of brotherhood either. I’m not writing this from a place of anger. I’m writing from disappointment. There’s a difference. Disappointment comes from believing we can do better — that we’re called to do better.
Over the years, I’ve sat in countless men’s Bible studies where words like “iron sharpens iron” and “we’re in this together” are boldly proclaimed. Yet consistent, sacrificial friendship — the kind that shows up over and over again — is rare. And I share this not just for myself, but for the many brothers silently carrying their own battles. Health struggles. Mental strain. Financial pressure. Family heartbreak. So many men are walking through something and feel like they’re walking alone. That shouldn’t be the testimony of the Church.
I truly pray no one ever has to walk the specific health road I’m on. But if you ever do face your own long night, I pray you don’t just receive words — I pray you feel presence. I pray you’re surrounded by brothers who stay. Brothers who check in consistently. Brothers who sit in silence when needed. Brothers who don’t vanish when the spotlight fades.
Today’s a new day. And maybe this is a call for all of us — myself included — to love deeper, stay longer, and live out the brotherhood we so easily preach about.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. May the love and peace of God rest upon each of you. ~OC