Tag: Adventure

Finding Purpose In The Pause

Lately, I’ve been getting a few messages asking how I’m doing, and how I spend my days. Honestly, it’s a bit of a challenge, but I continue to find beauty in the struggle. As I navigate this crazy beautiful journey with multiple health issues, I am reminded that life is not easy. It’s a little harder getting around these days, so I spend most of my days at home. 

My health journey is a rollercoaster, and it’s okay to admit that it’s tough. Some days are better than others. But my constant desire is to walk closer with God every day and to connect with other people. Trying to put my thoughts together to write these days is much harder, but God helps me through,  because it’s my way of connecting with people and letting those who are struggling know they’re not alone. If I didn’t share, I’d be stuck in silence, alone and that’s a lonely place to be.

My days are pretty simple. I spend most of my time in prayer, trying to write and read when my body allows. It’s not glamorous, but it’s my reality. And you know what?  I am learning to find purpose in the pause, to cherish the quiet moments, and to share my story with others who might be walking a similar path.

I am not writing this for sympathy or to complain. I’m writing this to remind society, that people walking through health battles still need and want to connect with others. I am the same person I have always been, just a little slower. But my story isn’t over yet. And I want people walking through their own storms, to know that you’re seen, you’re heard, you’re loved and you’re not alone. 

As I continue on this journey, I’m grateful for the few friends who have decided to stick around, even when life gets hard.  And to those who’ve disappeared, I am doing my best to understand why. But I am learning to cherish the ones who stay and to find joy in the connections we have made along the way.

If you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone. Keep writing, keep praying, and keep pushing forward. And if you need someone to talk to, I am a phone call away. Let’s connect and walk this journey together. ~OC

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The Unexpected Play

Today’s a new day! Over the years some brave and caring people have asked me “What’s it really like to live with multiple health issues that will eventually take you out.” (Insert laughter here)

After taking a moment to think about that question I shared, “It’s like your body came with a lifetime warranty, but when you read the small fine print, there is a little section that states “starts to expire once started.” My body has been under a recall for the past twenty-four years. When I call Customer Service, I am placed on hold, where a very nice voice keeps telling me to “get some rest.”

That’s just a little humor, but it’s also true in so many ways, when you’re dealing with multiple health issues that are breaking down your body. Walking through a medical journey, will test your faith, your patience and your Wi-Fi connection. You can either drown in self-pity or laugh at the absurdity of it all. I choose laughter. Because when you can’t move or think like you used to, joy has to do the heavy lifting.

See, the best medical team can study your chart, but only God knows your heart. The doctor ask, “How are we feeling today?” and I think, “You tell me — you’re the one with the fancy degrees.” But God looks past my diagnosis and says, “You’re still here. You’re still mine. You’re still fighting.”

When the nurse says, “This might sting a little,” I laugh because that’s life in a nutshell — a little sting, a little surprise, a little pain, and a whole lot of grace.

When I am in the hospital, which is often, you often hear or see a message reminding everyone to be quiet, because patients are resting. But I look around at all the beeping machines, the flashing lights, and people checking my blood pressure like I’m a contestant on The Price Is Right, and I think, “Dear God, if this is resting, heaven’s gonna be amazing.”

But seriously, I have learned something deeper through this crazy beautiful health journey called life: when your body slows down, your faith speeds up. When your strength fades, your laughter stretches further. And when life tries to crush your spirit, God uses joy as medicine for your soul.

In Proverbs 17:22 we read, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” That verse hits home for me. It’s God’s way of saying, “Keep your sense of humor, even in during the tough moments. Don’t let your spirit dry up.”

So what’s it like to truly live with the finish line always so close? It’s like sitting front-row at an audition you didn’t sign up for- but you still get to decide whether this play will be a drama or a comedy. For me, I have decided to sprinkle in a little Daniel Day-Lewis and a whole lot of Robin Williams. As I watch this play unfold, I remind myself and everyone around me that even when life isn’t very funny… you can still find the humor.

Because hope doesn’t always show up healed — sometimes it shows up laughing. ~OC

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2AM Thoughts

Today’s a new day! It’s 2am on this Tuesday morning. I have been unable to fall asleep. It’s just one of those crazy nights with Parkinson’s and Dementia. So I have walked around the house more times than I can remember. I have watched several YouTube videos to pass the time. Finally, I have decided to share my experience and thoughts with you. Writing is still something my brain allows me to do on occasion. Lately, God has filled my brain with many thoughts. I feel an urgency to write as much as possible before I can no longer do that. Tonight, my brain is extra active. That’s not always a good thing.

I have good days and bad days as I navigate through the multiple health issues that are slowly robbing me of so much. On a bad day, I cannot do anything at all. My energy levels are low and I feel fatigued. The only way I can describe it is that I feel like I have run a hundred marathons in a very short amount of time. I feel totally drained.

But I have lots of coping strategies. I choose to use those days to pray a lot more. I choose to reach out to friends even though I know, I will not hear back from the majority of them.

I think it’s important to have something that gives you a sense of purpose in life. I try to share my journey to help encourage others walking through their own life struggles. If I can help just one other person, that’s enough for me.

When most people think about neurological issues, especially dementia they think it’s all about memory loss. But I have cognitive issues also- trying to figure things out can be difficult and frustrating. Also too many voices at one time can be overwhelming. I get frustrated and anxious if I am struggling to follow the conversation. I also deal with a lot of rigidity and pain, which creates so many issues.

Over the years I have lost many friends as I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey. I believe a lot of people have a difficult time talking to and relating to me. But I am still me. My story has just changed a little. A lot of times when Laura and I are around other people, they will address questions to her, not me. My prayer is that people would see the person, not the disease.

But I am blessed that a few friends have decided to stick around and not jump ship. I hold those friendships very close to my heart.

I choose to embrace each moment of life. I try to share my love and thoughts now. Not waiting for the perfect moment. Because the perfect moment is today. Laura and I do not wait for the perfect moment to buy that gift or take that trip. Now is the perfect time. Now is the perfect time to take care of future arrangements. Which we have done. I did not want Laura dealing with all of that on her own.

It also means we’ve had really indepth chats about what quality of life really looks like. Everyone has to figure that out for themselves and their loved ones.

Life looks different every day. What I could do yesterday, might be more difficult to accomplish today. I continue to live my life with my cup overflowing. I try not to beat myself up too much when I cannot do something anymore. Because there are still many things I can do. So today, I choose to embrace the now and what I can accomplish today. ~OC

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Marriage Vows

Today’s a new day! On this date twenty-six years ago, I had the honor of marrying my bride Laura. When we shared our vows on that Friday night we had no idea that the majority of our marriage would center around my health issues.

Like every newlyweds, we thought The big stuff, the hard illnesses, would come later in life. That definitely has not been part of our story.

I was taken by surprise when life-threatening illness hit our home – and even more surprised when it happened to me. Without any warning signs, I began experiencing severe fatigue and muscle weakness. Within a few months and after a number of tests, Laura and I were told I had several forms of crippling arthritis. Only to find out a year later, I was actually dealing with a very rare type of cancer. (only 2% of the population deals with this type of cancer). We had no idea how that diagnosis and then multiple life threatening diseases would become part of our everyday lives.

My wife Laura and I were still in our honeymoon season of our marriage. This kind of thing wasn’t supposed to happen. I felt helpless as Laura cared for me in addition to working her full-time job and working on her masters degree. While I was in the hospital, she stayed by my side, trying to work and get some rest in some uncomfortable chairs. Watching her husband struggle to just breathe at times.

Over the years, Laura has taken on most of the she household responsibilities. She makes meals, vacuums and chauffeurs me to multiple medical appointments. She does this all with a smile and encouraging words.

I was and still am blown away by how Laura continues to care for me all these years later. At times, I have found myself frustrated that I cannot do more to make her daily grind a little easier. Her kindness continues to overwhelm me.

As I reflect on this health journey we continue to walk together, it gives me a deeper appreciation of God’s purpose for marriage. Sacrifice is lived out in homes around the world as couples serve each other through illness, financial crisis and family issues. No matter their story, husbands and wives face opportunities to love without seeking anything in return. Why? So they can experience God’s heart through one another and live His love for one another.

Every opportunity we have to serve our spouse gives us the chance to live out the love story God crafted for us. He gave His Son so that we could have life. There was nothing we could give in return – nothing we could do to pay Him back. And yet He chose to give anyway.

Laura continues to live out her commitment to stand by me in sickness. She has more than fulfilled her marital vows – she has become a living illustration of God’s love. ~OC

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My Life With Dementia

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have always wanted to be upfront and honest when sharing my journey with you. So this morning, I want to share a post I have been working on for several weeks. It’s my life with dementia. I apologize in advance for the long post.

When I was diagnosed with young onset dementia last year, part of me thought there has to be a mistake, but it was also a relief to have some answers on why my life seemed a little out of focus. But it was still hard to hear “you have dementia.” Like so many people diagnosed with young-onset dementia, I was still planning a future with my bride. How was dementia showing up in my 50’s?

But here I am, almost a year later.

What I have learned is a dementia diagnosis isn’t the end of life. It just means life looks a little different.

Of course my life has looked a little different for the last twenty-three years dealing with multiple health issues. But over the last two decades, my faith and life experiences have taught me it’s possible to live a fulfilling, purposeful, and even joyful life even while dealing with the uncertainty of declining health. A diagnosis of dementia was not going to change that. At least I hope and pray that will be the case.

So as I walk out this journey called dementia, I wanted to share a few things that are working for me. This is not a neat how to live with dementia list, because dementia is not an easy follow these instructions and everything will be okay disease. No, dementia is a unpredictable roller coaster ride. Every day brings new challenges, but also new opportunities.

My hope and prayer is that this blog post will help create conversations. If you’re living with dementia, or supporting someone who is, I hope these tools help you live a full life regardless of the diagnosis.

My Dementia Toolbox:

I choose to live each day with Hope and Purpose.

I choose to live a life full of new adventures. Never stop making memories with family and friends.

I choose to maintain my independence as long as possible.

I choose to continue connecting with family and friends.

I choose to adapt to the changes dementia brings and never give up.

I choose to hold onto my identity and what makes me “me.”

I choose to keep learning new things each day.

I choose to live out my life and faith.

I choose not to avoid the declines that dementia brings, but to make the most out of every day and refuse to let dementia silence me.

Finally, living with dementia is not an easy journey. There are moments of loss and frustration, but there are also unexpected discoveries, laughs, and the good will of family and friends. ~OC

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Potholes in Life

Today’s a new day! Last night after my doctor’s appointment, Laura and I drove around town a bit. There is so much construction going on around us. Also a lot of potholes and roadblocks to navigate around. At times, I felt like I was on some type of ride at the fair.

On our journey through life, we also face many bumps and potholes along the way. There are financial, relational, and medical trials that will come into our lives. What we do when we come to a bump in the road is usually slow down or come to a complete stop in order to better assess the situation before moving forward. We must also keep a certain balance ourselves, so as not to falter or fall down. There are times when Christian friends will come alongside us and help us to navigate these bumps in our lives. At times, if we become stalled for a long time, they might gently urge us and encourage us to move on and continue on the road of life.

“Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status.” ~Romans 15:1

As we were driving around town, it was only Laura and I paying close attention to the road construction around us, that saved us from hitting one pothole after another. It also helped that we knew some of the potholes were coming, so we were able to avoid them. Knowing the road allowed us the grace to prepare ourselves for the bumpy ride.

But what about the times when we don’t know what lies ahead of us on this journey called life or what’s around the next corner? In those times, we need to turn directly to Jesus. He knows the road ahead, and we can always depend on Him to guide us safely through those bumps in the journey.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” ~Deuteronomy 31:8

Prayer for the Day: Dear God, help us to turn to You first when we face the bumps and potholes in our journey. We know that You are more than capable of helping meet our needs. Dear God, help our unbelief in times of trouble. Make us a people able to stand strong as we or a loved one walks through the bumpy moments in life. We pray all of this in your powerful and matchless name dear Jesus. Amen.

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College Football In The South

Today’s a special day. Like every other properly raised Southern person it’s my favorite time of the year; college football starts today. Team shirts, hats and jackets are out, Saturday menus and BBQ’s are planned, and the big games are being taped so we don’t miss a bit of action.

That’s college football in the south.  It’s a celebration.  It’s a tradition.  It’s a way of life from late August through bowl season.

For as far back as I can remember, Southeastern Conference football has been a part of my life. Every Saturday I have planned my Fall Saturdays around Florida Gators football. Over the years I have attended numerous games at The Swamp. There is nothing like it. I have been to other college stadiums and NFL games, but nothing compares to sitting in The Swamp on a Saturday with over 90,000 of my closest friends.

Even being grown and married, very little has changed on any given Saturday afternoon in the fall.  The Florida Gators are still the team to root for on those Fall Saturdays. Southeastern Football is still the programming of choice. Those Saturdays are still filled with get togethers or at least texting family and friends throughout the game.

College football is still a special time in the South at any age. Go Gators!! ~OC

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Our Scars Tell A Story

Today’s a new day! As you have walked through this journey called life, you have experienced storms and trials that have left some scars. As I have traveled through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have collected my fair share of scars. We all have scars. Some are visible and some are invisible to the public eye. Scars can be painful and most of the time we choose to hide them from the world. But the last few days, this question has kept coming to my mind, “How does God view my scars and how can He use them?”

When I look at the multiple scars across my body, I can recall the day they became part of my story. As I shared earlier, I have collected my fair share of scars over the years. But I believe our scars, whether physical or caused by deep trauma tell the story of of our struggles and how God has helped us overcome those scars.

As I look at the scars that dot my body, I truly believe God has great purpose for each one. I think our scars are meant to make us stronger. Each one has a story and a lesson behind it. I believe our scars are beautiful to God.

Our scars should be a reminder of what Jesus went through for each of us on the cross. And remember when we get to heaven, Jesus will be the only one who still has his battle scars. The scars Jesus suffered should be a constant reminder to us of His great sacrifice and love for us.

No matter how deep the scars whether visible or not, God loves us and can use our scars and our pain to help someone else dealing with their own painful wounds.

As we continue to walkout this journey called life, remember our scars are beautiful to God because He loves us more than we could ever imagine and He desires that we share His love and our scar filled stories with others. ~OC

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No Limits

Today’s a new day! There are no limits to what God can do when you’re planted exactly where He has called you to grow. Where you plant yourself matters. ~OC

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Never Give Up

Today’s a new day! I think most people do not like to be uncomfortable. Most people do not like the hard moments in life. Most people do not like to be burdened or inconvenienced. Yet, in the tough moments in life, God never calls us to give up. Instead, He calls us to keep on pushing and trusting Him, even in the most difficult moments.

As a former marathon runner and someone who has been walking through a crazy beautiful health journey for over twenty years, I am used to being uncomfortable. I am used to the hard moments in life.

As I have walked through the tough moments in life, here are a few lessons I have learned:

Never give up on your prayers.

Never give up on the people God has placed in your life.

Never give up on your dreams.

Never give up on yourself.

Never give up when you face hard times or failures.

Most importantly, never give up on God.

The beautiful thing about God and his amazing grace is that He never gives up on us. He calls us back even when we decide to stray away and do things on our own. God is always there waiting for us with open arms. Remember, every battle we will ever face was defeated on the cross when Jesus gave his life for us.

I am not sure what type of season you’re walking through at this moment. Maybe you have been praying the same prayers over and over for years, but they seem like they will never be answered. Don’t give up.

I want to encourage you to never limit God and put him in a nicely decorated box. Allow Him to work through you and never give in to those temptations to give up.

Looking back on all of my marathons, I am so glad I completed each of my races and never gave into the temptation to quit. Based on my health, those marathons were never easy on my body, but each taught me about overcoming and to never give up.

I believe our faith and life journey is like a marathon, it’s not promised to be easy, it’s going to be hard and full of twist and turns, but our finish line and reward in eternity is far greater than anything we could ever imagine.

So today, keep pushing, keep fighting and never give up. ~OC

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” ~2 Timothy 4:7

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