Tag: Adventure

2AM Thoughts

Today’s a new day! It’s 2am on this Tuesday morning. I have been unable to fall asleep. It’s just one of those crazy nights with Parkinson’s and Dementia. So I have walked around the house more times than I can remember. I have watched several YouTube videos to pass the time. Finally, I have decided to share my experience and thoughts with you. Writing is still something my brain allows me to do on occasion. Lately, God has filled my brain with many thoughts. I feel an urgency to write as much as possible before I can no longer do that. Tonight, my brain is extra active. That’s not always a good thing.

I have good days and bad days as I navigate through the multiple health issues that are slowly robbing me of so much. On a bad day, I cannot do anything at all. My energy levels are low and I feel fatigued. The only way I can describe it is that I feel like I have run a hundred marathons in a very short amount of time. I feel totally drained.

But I have lots of coping strategies. I choose to use those days to pray a lot more. I choose to reach out to friends even though I know, I will not hear back from the majority of them.

I think it’s important to have something that gives you a sense of purpose in life. I try to share my journey to help encourage others walking through their own life struggles. If I can help just one other person, that’s enough for me.

When most people think about neurological issues, especially dementia they think it’s all about memory loss. But I have cognitive issues also- trying to figure things out can be difficult and frustrating. Also too many voices at one time can be overwhelming. I get frustrated and anxious if I am struggling to follow the conversation. I also deal with a lot of rigidity and pain, which creates so many issues.

Over the years I have lost many friends as I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey. I believe a lot of people have a difficult time talking to and relating to me. But I am still me. My story has just changed a little. A lot of times when Laura and I are around other people, they will address questions to her, not me. My prayer is that people would see the person, not the disease.

But I am blessed that a few friends have decided to stick around and not jump ship. I hold those friendships very close to my heart.

I choose to embrace each moment of life. I try to share my love and thoughts now. Not waiting for the perfect moment. Because the perfect moment is today. Laura and I do not wait for the perfect moment to buy that gift or take that trip. Now is the perfect time. Now is the perfect time to take care of future arrangements. Which we have done. I did not want Laura dealing with all of that on her own.

It also means we’ve had really indepth chats about what quality of life really looks like. Everyone has to figure that out for themselves and their loved ones.

Life looks different every day. What I could do yesterday, might be more difficult to accomplish today. I continue to live my life with my cup overflowing. I try not to beat myself up too much when I cannot do something anymore. Because there are still many things I can do. So today, I choose to embrace the now and what I can accomplish today. ~OC

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Marriage Vows

Today’s a new day! On this date twenty-six years ago, I had the honor of marrying my bride Laura. When we shared our vows on that Friday night we had no idea that the majority of our marriage would center around my health issues.

Like every newlyweds, we thought The big stuff, the hard illnesses, would come later in life. That definitely has not been part of our story.

I was taken by surprise when life-threatening illness hit our home – and even more surprised when it happened to me. Without any warning signs, I began experiencing severe fatigue and muscle weakness. Within a few months and after a number of tests, Laura and I were told I had several forms of crippling arthritis. Only to find out a year later, I was actually dealing with a very rare type of cancer. (only 2% of the population deals with this type of cancer). We had no idea how that diagnosis and then multiple life threatening diseases would become part of our everyday lives.

My wife Laura and I were still in our honeymoon season of our marriage. This kind of thing wasn’t supposed to happen. I felt helpless as Laura cared for me in addition to working her full-time job and working on her masters degree. While I was in the hospital, she stayed by my side, trying to work and get some rest in some uncomfortable chairs. Watching her husband struggle to just breathe at times.

Over the years, Laura has taken on most of the she household responsibilities. She makes meals, vacuums and chauffeurs me to multiple medical appointments. She does this all with a smile and encouraging words.

I was and still am blown away by how Laura continues to care for me all these years later. At times, I have found myself frustrated that I cannot do more to make her daily grind a little easier. Her kindness continues to overwhelm me.

As I reflect on this health journey we continue to walk together, it gives me a deeper appreciation of God’s purpose for marriage. Sacrifice is lived out in homes around the world as couples serve each other through illness, financial crisis and family issues. No matter their story, husbands and wives face opportunities to love without seeking anything in return. Why? So they can experience God’s heart through one another and live His love for one another.

Every opportunity we have to serve our spouse gives us the chance to live out the love story God crafted for us. He gave His Son so that we could have life. There was nothing we could give in return – nothing we could do to pay Him back. And yet He chose to give anyway.

Laura continues to live out her commitment to stand by me in sickness. She has more than fulfilled her marital vows – she has become a living illustration of God’s love. ~OC

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My Life With Dementia

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have always wanted to be upfront and honest when sharing my journey with you. So this morning, I want to share a post I have been working on for several weeks. It’s my life with dementia. I apologize in advance for the long post.

When I was diagnosed with young onset dementia last year, part of me thought there has to be a mistake, but it was also a relief to have some answers on why my life seemed a little out of focus. But it was still hard to hear “you have dementia.” Like so many people diagnosed with young-onset dementia, I was still planning a future with my bride. How was dementia showing up in my 50’s?

But here I am, almost a year later.

What I have learned is a dementia diagnosis isn’t the end of life. It just means life looks a little different.

Of course my life has looked a little different for the last twenty-three years dealing with multiple health issues. But over the last two decades, my faith and life experiences have taught me it’s possible to live a fulfilling, purposeful, and even joyful life even while dealing with the uncertainty of declining health. A diagnosis of dementia was not going to change that. At least I hope and pray that will be the case.

So as I walk out this journey called dementia, I wanted to share a few things that are working for me. This is not a neat how to live with dementia list, because dementia is not an easy follow these instructions and everything will be okay disease. No, dementia is a unpredictable roller coaster ride. Every day brings new challenges, but also new opportunities.

My hope and prayer is that this blog post will help create conversations. If you’re living with dementia, or supporting someone who is, I hope these tools help you live a full life regardless of the diagnosis.

My Dementia Toolbox:

I choose to live each day with Hope and Purpose.

I choose to live a life full of new adventures. Never stop making memories with family and friends.

I choose to maintain my independence as long as possible.

I choose to continue connecting with family and friends.

I choose to adapt to the changes dementia brings and never give up.

I choose to hold onto my identity and what makes me “me.”

I choose to keep learning new things each day.

I choose to live out my life and faith.

I choose not to avoid the declines that dementia brings, but to make the most out of every day and refuse to let dementia silence me.

Finally, living with dementia is not an easy journey. There are moments of loss and frustration, but there are also unexpected discoveries, laughs, and the good will of family and friends. ~OC

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Potholes in Life

Today’s a new day! Last night after my doctor’s appointment, Laura and I drove around town a bit. There is so much construction going on around us. Also a lot of potholes and roadblocks to navigate around. At times, I felt like I was on some type of ride at the fair.

On our journey through life, we also face many bumps and potholes along the way. There are financial, relational, and medical trials that will come into our lives. What we do when we come to a bump in the road is usually slow down or come to a complete stop in order to better assess the situation before moving forward. We must also keep a certain balance ourselves, so as not to falter or fall down. There are times when Christian friends will come alongside us and help us to navigate these bumps in our lives. At times, if we become stalled for a long time, they might gently urge us and encourage us to move on and continue on the road of life.

“Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status.” ~Romans 15:1

As we were driving around town, it was only Laura and I paying close attention to the road construction around us, that saved us from hitting one pothole after another. It also helped that we knew some of the potholes were coming, so we were able to avoid them. Knowing the road allowed us the grace to prepare ourselves for the bumpy ride.

But what about the times when we don’t know what lies ahead of us on this journey called life or what’s around the next corner? In those times, we need to turn directly to Jesus. He knows the road ahead, and we can always depend on Him to guide us safely through those bumps in the journey.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” ~Deuteronomy 31:8

Prayer for the Day: Dear God, help us to turn to You first when we face the bumps and potholes in our journey. We know that You are more than capable of helping meet our needs. Dear God, help our unbelief in times of trouble. Make us a people able to stand strong as we or a loved one walks through the bumpy moments in life. We pray all of this in your powerful and matchless name dear Jesus. Amen.

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College Football In The South

Today’s a special day. Like every other properly raised Southern person it’s my favorite time of the year; college football starts today. Team shirts, hats and jackets are out, Saturday menus and BBQ’s are planned, and the big games are being taped so we don’t miss a bit of action.

That’s college football in the south.  It’s a celebration.  It’s a tradition.  It’s a way of life from late August through bowl season.

For as far back as I can remember, Southeastern Conference football has been a part of my life. Every Saturday I have planned my Fall Saturdays around Florida Gators football. Over the years I have attended numerous games at The Swamp. There is nothing like it. I have been to other college stadiums and NFL games, but nothing compares to sitting in The Swamp on a Saturday with over 90,000 of my closest friends.

Even being grown and married, very little has changed on any given Saturday afternoon in the fall.  The Florida Gators are still the team to root for on those Fall Saturdays. Southeastern Football is still the programming of choice. Those Saturdays are still filled with get togethers or at least texting family and friends throughout the game.

College football is still a special time in the South at any age. Go Gators!! ~OC

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Our Scars Tell A Story

Today’s a new day! As you have walked through this journey called life, you have experienced storms and trials that have left some scars. As I have traveled through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have collected my fair share of scars. We all have scars. Some are visible and some are invisible to the public eye. Scars can be painful and most of the time we choose to hide them from the world. But the last few days, this question has kept coming to my mind, “How does God view my scars and how can He use them?”

When I look at the multiple scars across my body, I can recall the day they became part of my story. As I shared earlier, I have collected my fair share of scars over the years. But I believe our scars, whether physical or caused by deep trauma tell the story of of our struggles and how God has helped us overcome those scars.

As I look at the scars that dot my body, I truly believe God has great purpose for each one. I think our scars are meant to make us stronger. Each one has a story and a lesson behind it. I believe our scars are beautiful to God.

Our scars should be a reminder of what Jesus went through for each of us on the cross. And remember when we get to heaven, Jesus will be the only one who still has his battle scars. The scars Jesus suffered should be a constant reminder to us of His great sacrifice and love for us.

No matter how deep the scars whether visible or not, God loves us and can use our scars and our pain to help someone else dealing with their own painful wounds.

As we continue to walkout this journey called life, remember our scars are beautiful to God because He loves us more than we could ever imagine and He desires that we share His love and our scar filled stories with others. ~OC

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No Limits

Today’s a new day! There are no limits to what God can do when you’re planted exactly where He has called you to grow. Where you plant yourself matters. ~OC

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Never Give Up

Today’s a new day! I think most people do not like to be uncomfortable. Most people do not like the hard moments in life. Most people do not like to be burdened or inconvenienced. Yet, in the tough moments in life, God never calls us to give up. Instead, He calls us to keep on pushing and trusting Him, even in the most difficult moments.

As a former marathon runner and someone who has been walking through a crazy beautiful health journey for over twenty years, I am used to being uncomfortable. I am used to the hard moments in life.

As I have walked through the tough moments in life, here are a few lessons I have learned:

Never give up on your prayers.

Never give up on the people God has placed in your life.

Never give up on your dreams.

Never give up on yourself.

Never give up when you face hard times or failures.

Most importantly, never give up on God.

The beautiful thing about God and his amazing grace is that He never gives up on us. He calls us back even when we decide to stray away and do things on our own. God is always there waiting for us with open arms. Remember, every battle we will ever face was defeated on the cross when Jesus gave his life for us.

I am not sure what type of season you’re walking through at this moment. Maybe you have been praying the same prayers over and over for years, but they seem like they will never be answered. Don’t give up.

I want to encourage you to never limit God and put him in a nicely decorated box. Allow Him to work through you and never give in to those temptations to give up.

Looking back on all of my marathons, I am so glad I completed each of my races and never gave into the temptation to quit. Based on my health, those marathons were never easy on my body, but each taught me about overcoming and to never give up.

I believe our faith and life journey is like a marathon, it’s not promised to be easy, it’s going to be hard and full of twist and turns, but our finish line and reward in eternity is far greater than anything we could ever imagine.

So today, keep pushing, keep fighting and never give up. ~OC

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” ~2 Timothy 4:7

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Dear Men of God,

Today’s a new day! My apologies to all the ladies today. The following post is geared towards men and the importance of men having solid friendships with other men.

Today, I write from a position of painful experiences. Today, I believe God is calling me to be transparent as I share the following message.

I have tried for years to be involved in Christian men’s groups. Unfortunately, most have never produced much fruit. Several have caused pain, loss and mistrust. Even with that said, I am still open to being part of a Christian men’s group. But not one that is more concerned about a man’s social status in society than they are about the man’s heart. Not easy to find. I definitely do not want to be part of any men’s group that preaches we need to be a man’s man in the likeness of John Wayne.

In a society that celebrates rugged individualism, Christian men are often left searching for and craving connection, but unsure how to or where to find it. Men, the Bible calls us to community. In Ecclesiastes 4:9, we read that “two are better than one.” Yet so many men are struggling to forge deep, meaningful friendships with other men. I am one of those men.

The consequences are real. Loneliness among men are at their highest rates in decades. Loneliness can lead men to make some poor choices, which can ultimately lead to brokenness.

I believe for men to be better husbands, fathers and friends, we need to be surrounded by not just mere acquaintances, but by brothers who sharpen each other “as iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17).

The Bible is full of scriptures that tell us that we are all created for relationships. Even men. In Genesis 2:18 we read, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” While often shared at wedding ceremonies, this verse actually speaks about our need for companionship. Jesus himself modeled friendship, calling his disciples “friends” (John 15:15).

For Christian men, friendships should not be a distraction from our faith but a cornerstone of it. Men, we need to be surrounded by other Christian men offering accountability and encouragement.

Yet men often pursue other gods—careers, social status, or some type of hobby before seeking out true friendships.

True friendship are a beautiful gift and I believe, an important part of living a life that honors God. In Proverbs 18:24, we read those life changing words “a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” a bond that mirrors Christ’s sacrificial love. Such friendships require intentionality and spending quality time together. And not being afraid to leave the shallow end of conversations and dive into deep, sometimes hard conversations. True brotherhood is also about laughing together and enjoying life.

Men of God, the stakes are high. Loneliness and brokenness are stealing our peace, our joy and our witness. But I believe true brotherhood, rooted in God’s love, can restore each of us. ~OC

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The Race

Today’s a new day! As I continue to recover from my hospital stay, God is reminding me that He created me to be a marathoner, not a sprinter. But, I want to be a 100% now and not wait through the months of recovery. You would think after twenty-three years on this crazy beautiful health journey I would have that lesson memorized.

Throughout my entire life of playing and watching sports, some of the people I have had the most respect for are those athletes who have overcome tremendous hurdles. They work through an injury or trial in life and reach the highest levels in their respective sports.

I always loved running as a child, but never ran a marathon until after my cancer diagnosis. Even a Parkinson’s diagnosis could not keep me from running. However, as I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I realize that it’s not a sprint, but a marathon. Along the path of the race, there will be many trials and tribulations that come along our way. In any sport, teams will face tough stretches where their teamwork will be tested, but it’s how they come out of those trials that determine whether or not they will be called “champions.”

As I ran my marathons, I would often experience fatigue. In the heavenly race, we can consider fatigue to be a temptation whether it is not praying every day or letting our Bible collect dust. We all face different types of temptations and at times, we succumb to those temptations. However, Jesus wants us to drink the living water and trust in Him at all times. In John 4:13-14, we read the following words from Jesus to the woman at the well:

“Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:13-14)

With the exception of a few very talented runners, most people run a marathon to finish the race. As Christians, we are taught to run to the finish line or in other words, until God calls us home to be with Him. After you accept the invitation to run with Jesus, there is still training that we all need in order to fully experience all that God has in store for our lives.

Our spiritual training is something we all need to do 24/7/365 in order to run the race God has specifically designed for each of us. It takes a lot of effort to stay in our lanes and sometimes we run into a few hurdles along the way, but the goal we have to remember is ultimately receiving that heavenly reward when we come face-to-face with with Jesus in heaven.

Today, I encourage you to keep running the race God has planned for your life. While it may seem difficult at times and a shortcut might seem tempting, remember the heavenly reward that God has set before us once we finish the race. His Son ran the most grueling part of the race for us when He suffered and died on the cross for us, so that we can have eternal life and have a heavenly reward. I want to encourage you to keep spending time in God’s word each day. When we are equipped with the Gospel, we can withstand any test the enemy throws at us just like our Savior did in the wilderness (Matthew 4).

I want to encourage everyone to run this amazing race with me. My hope and prayer is that everyone comes into a beautiful and personal relationship with Jesus. So as I close out today’s writing, I want to share a little of the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Philippians that I believe, sums up my post pretty well.

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 3:12-14

Today, I encourage each of us to press on towards the ultimate goal. ~OC

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