Dear Dementia,

Today’s a new day! As most of you know, I was diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia caused by Parkinson’s last September (2024). As I have walked through the past few months, I have thought about this diagnosis and what it means for my future. So I thought I would write a letter to dementia. Hopefully it makes sense.

Dear Dementia, I often wonder if you were a person, what would I say to you? So often dementia tries to fill me with anger, sadness and frustration. But thankfully, I am able to fight off those emotions most days. But some days all those emotions get the best of me.

I think I’ll start with I am a little frustrated with you dementia. I dislike that you’ve made sharing my thoughts and having conversations a little tougher these days. I am a little frustrated that being social has become a bit more difficult for me. Since I am in the early stages of dementia, I have learned a few tricks to hide my struggles from people. But I cannot hide those struggles from myself and that makes me frustrated at times.

I am frustrated that you try and fill my days with grief, loneliness and sadness. I am saddened that some friends find it too difficult to call or visit because they do not know what to say. I am frustrated that you’re trying to take away my memories too, with you being all consuming; you sometimes make it hard to remember how things were before you.

But dementia despite all the frustration sadness and grief, I still choose to live with hope and embrace every moment of life. My bride and I still talk about future plans and trips. We will not allow you to become our identity. We celebrate those days I feel like my old self. Almost like the fog has been lifted. I embrace those days because they will not always be around. I embrace simple moments with family and friends a little more these days. I am thankful for those friends who still choose to treat me like me. Please keep doing that. Even on those days, I might not totally seem like the old me.

I am thankful that God continues to walk this journey with me. He is bigger than dementia and all the other health issues trying to take me out. They may get the best of me some days, but they will not get the victory. No, that belongs to God and I will continue to hold onto that truth.

Dear Dementia, in some ways you have taught me the true value of unconditional love, and I will use that to defeat you. I will never give up on loving my life, loving those in my life and never ever give up on beating you. You’ve brought pain and suffering to so many people’s lives, snuck in and attacked the most vulnerable. But by working with medical researchers and families affected by your cruel actions we will learn new ways to defeat you. One day I will be part of ending you, as you will never be able to take away the unconditional love that fills me up and guides me along this crazy beautiful health journey. ~OC

March 10, 2025 0

Be Your Own Best Healthcare Advocate

Today’s a new day! I have been what my bride calls a “Professional Patient” for almost twenty-three years now. During this journey, I have encountered health professionals who appeared to be more concerned about egos and status than they did my well-being. For some medical providers, I was just a name on a file who happened to have very good health insurance coverage. They knew more than me because they had the title of Doctor attached to their name. Being so foreign to how the world of healthcare worked, Laura and I just went along with whatever the doctors or medical professionals directed us to do. They’re the professionals. They know what’s best for me. Right? In the famous words of Lee Corso from GameDay on ESPN, “Not so fast my friend.”

As Laura and I began to navigate this new world called the healthcare system, we found out that the most important voices were our own. If we did not stand up for my medical needs, who else would? That’s when we realized we needed to become not only our own healthcare advocates, but we needed to help other patients walking through their own crazy beautiful health journey. We recognized being a “Professional Patient” was actually a full time job.

Over the years, we have had to privately and sometimes publicly voiced some of my medical concerns. Which is not naturally part of my DNA. Or so I thought. But this is my life and my health we are talking about. As Laura and I have weaved our way through the world of health challenges, here are some of the most important pieces of advice I believe I can offer for those walking through their own health journey.

* Do not wait to speak up and share your thoughts and concerns. You know your body better than anybody else. If something doesn’t feel right or sound right speak up. If your medical team truly cares for you they will welcome this dialogue.

*Do not be afraid to get a second or third opinion. This is your life. We only get one.

*Do not be afraid to change doctors or hospitals if needed. Find a medical team that you truly feel has your best interest at heart.

*Have a great support system that can speak up on your behalf when you are unable to.

*Never stop learning about new treatments and medications that pertain to your health issue. Do not hesitate to share that information with your medical team. Once again, if your medical team cares for your well-being they will welcome those conversations.

*Take the time if your health allows, to help someone else navigate through this overwhelming healthcare system .

*Remember, it’s called practicing medicine for a reason. Your doctor and medical staff are human. Mistakes can happen. Allow those to be a teaching moment for all parties involved. Be kind and respectful, but firm.

*Be patient with yourself and your medical team. The healthcare system can be messy, stressful and complicated. Do not be afraid to show a little grace to yourself and others.

I really hope this helps someone navigating through a maze called the healthcare system. Be Your Own Best Healthcare Advocate. ~OC

January 3, 2025 0

Decency and Character

Today’s a new day! Good morning family, friends and anyone else who decides to read this blog post. This morning I want to discuss two words…Decency and Character. Both mean something to me.

During my career, I had the honor of interviewing many people for positions with the different organizations I worked for. Of course, I always looked at the applicants resume and qualifications for the open job position. But during the interview I looked for someone with character and decency. Not always the easiest thing to do in a short period of time, but I wanted to hire someone who would be a great worker, but more importantly I wanted to hire someone that would bring a positive impact to the team. A person with character and decency.

I believed then and I still believe decency and character matter. When we hire someone don’t we hope they will be a decent person? Someone we can trust. A person of high character.

Decency and Character matter to me as a human being and as a Christian.

I believe decency and character matters to you. We take note of the person who pays their debts. We appreciate the physician who takes time to listen. We appreciate the teacher who takes time for the struggling student, when the employee refuses to gossip about their co-worker, when the losing team congratulates the winning team, we can characterize their behavior with two words… Decency and Character.

We appreciate decency and character. We applaud those who carry themselves with decency and character. Parents teach their children the importance of decency and character. We seek to develop both. Decency and Character matter, right?

Then why isn’t decency and character a factor in the presidential race?

A former President, who is running again for the highest office in the land would not pass my decency or character interview. I would send him packing.

I do not personally know Donald Trump, but shutter at his antics. He ridiculed a war hero and has continuously mocked those in the military. He constantly makes fun of people and loves to pass out nasty nicknames. He has called his political opponents stupid and losers. He has shared a political opponent should have nine guns pointed at her. He has proudly shared these comments online and at his rallies.

Such insensitivities wouldn’t even be acceptable in a middle school student body election. But for the Oval Office? And to do so while brandishing a Bible and boasting of his Christian faith? I’m bewildered, both by his behavior and the public’s support of it.

I believe the explanation for his success is this: he has tapped into the anger of many American people. As one man interviewed stated, “We are voting with our middle finger.” Sounds more like a comment for a middle school fight than a presidential election. We can look back at Cain and Abel and see how anger has brought out the worst in people.

I continue to pray for the return of decency and character to the United States. I pray the American people will vote against hate on Tuesday November 5th. I pray the majority of Americans will remember the key role of the president is to be the face of America. When he/she speaks, he/she speaks for us. Whether we agree or disagree with the policies of the president, we hope that they behave in a way that is consistent with the status of the office of the President.

As far as I can remember, I never regretted turning away a applicant who did not show character or decency. The people I chose to hire were not perfect, but they were decent people. That was all I could ask.

It seems that we should ask the same on November 5th. ~OC

November 1, 2024 0

In The Well

Today’s a new day! What’s buried deep down in the well, will come up in the bucket.

Translation: What is buried deep in our hearts, will eventually come out in our words and actions. So do not sleep on anger, grudges, or judgment against anyone. Do not let it take root. Deal with it in the light.

But don’t let the passion of your emotions lead you to sin! Don’t let anger control you or be fuel for revenge, not for even a day. Ephesians 4:26

June 30, 2021 0