True Friendships

Today’s a new day! True friends never make you feel like a burden. A true friend is never burdened with stressful promises and obligations.  When true friends step up, it’s because they care and because they want to.

Don’t chase after friendships. True friendships don’t need to be chased.  If someone is a true friend and wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You should never have to fight for a spot in their life. Never, ever force yourself on someone who continuously overlooks your worth. ~OC

Shine God Shine

Today’s a new day!

Dear God, as we walk through this journey called life, let your light shine through us. Destroy all the darkness and negativity around us. Dear God, let the warmth of your light, the brightness of your love, the sweetness of your joy, the beauty of your hope shine through us. Dear God, let your light be our guide through the storms of life. Let your light brighten our path. Dear God, let your light shine through us everyday. Shine God Shine! ~OC

Just Breathe

Today’s a new day! Stop and take a breath. Sometimes that’s all we can do. We’ve done everything else. We have lifted up every prayer, we have sung every worship song, and we have cried every tear. Sometimes we cannot fix everything that spirals out of control. We have exhausted ourselves. We finally look to God and simply say I do not know what to do.

We are silent. Dear God, we know that you’re close, but sometimes the only voices we hear are the chaotic ones raging from inside our head. Please speak to us. Dear God, let the fire of your amazing love burn away everything that is not from you.

Gently you come. We feel the faint touch of your Spirit—a little light in the midst of our darkness. Let us lean into your presence and promises.

We hear your voice chase away our fears. You whisper for us to be still, to release our worries to you, so you can step in. In all honesty, we wonder if we truly can. But out of obedience and sometimes complete exhaustion, we surrender all. Dear God, please take it all. We choose to put our trust in you. We choose to leave all our junk at your feet.

We choose to be still. Let our hearts experience Your peace. You are God and you will not forget your promises to us. ~OC

Here For You

Today’s a new day!

When the nights are long and sleep is a distant memory and your days are full of dark cloudy memories, I will be here for you

When the world feels like it’s moving a million miles an hour and you want to jump off, I will be here for you

When the world seems to have forgotten you and moved on, I will be here for you

When the doctors give you little hope your friends can’t be found, I will be here for you

When you feel alone in this broken and dark world, I will be here for you

When the rest of the world calls you crazy because you go against the grain, I will be here for you

When you decide to question everything you been taught and your friends and church question your faith, I will be here for you

When your lifestyle doesn’t align with those of your family and friends, I will be here for you

When you decide to speak up and be bold, I will be here for you

When the rest of the world misses out on your beauty and promise, I will be here for you

When you need to laugh or cry, I will be here for you

When the world thinks your ideals are but a pipe dream, I will be here for you

When your journey takes you down a winding and uncertain road, I will be here for you

When you need a second or hundredth chance, I will be here for you

You never have to walk this journey alone, I will walk with you anyway you need me to

I never want to miss a chance to show you, I will always be here for you

It’s gonna be okay, I will be here for you

I’ll be here, I’ll be here

Anyway you need

I’ll be here for you

~OC

When Character Mattered…I Guess

Today’s a new day! I want to apologize for the length of today’s post. But you can thank Dr. James Dobson for that. You will understand as you read this post.

As you know, I love to research and asked questions. There is one question that has caused me to ask even more questions the last few years. Here it is. How could Christians and more importantly, how could faith leaders support Donald Trump when so many called for former President Bill Clinton’s impeachment back in the late 1990’s for his affair with Monica Lewinsky? The young folks will need to google that one. This brings me to James Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family (once again, you can google Dobson and Focus on the Family), and a huge Donald Trump supporter. Mr. Dobson was even on Trump’s evangelical advisory committee during his first run for the White House.

Mr. Dobson and so many other faith leaders shout from the mountaintop about the importance of “Family Values.” Mr. Dobson has even written many books on the subject. I guess character only matters on Sunday’s and when it fits your agenda.

Mr. Dobson’s embrace of Trump was particularly disturbing in light of what he said about Christian character and the presidency in the 1990s. Below is a letter Mr. Dobson wrote his constituency in the wake of the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky scandal. Let me give you fair warning. The letter is long. I guess character really mattered back in the 1990’s, when a Democrat occupied the White House.

I have decided to share the entire letter, because I believe some of the things Mr. Dobson was so appalled by back in 1998, could also apply to Donald Trump’s presidency and his current campaign to become the President for a second time. It appears so many of today’s faith leaders have forgotten their own sermons on the importance of moral character and the office of the President.

The following long letter was written by Mr. Dobson in September 1998:

Dear Friends:

Greetings to you all. Shirley and I have been visiting the historic city of Boston for the past few weeks while working on a new book called Coming Home. I’ll tell you more about that at Christmastime. We have loved being together and are particularly grateful to God for His healing touch after my illness. Toward the end of our trip, however, we were shocked and dismayed by the admission of the President’s affair with “that woman — Miss Lewinsky” — which brought humiliation on himself, his family and our nation. Millions of words have been written and spoken about that sordid story, which I have chosen not to address during these past seven months. But now I want to express some passionate views that are on my heart.

As with many Christians around the country, Shirley and I have been in prayer for our leaders in government who must deal with the fallout from this scandal. They will need great wisdom and discernment in the days ahead. Our most serious concern, however, is not with those in Washington; it is with the American people. What has alarmed me throughout this episode has been the willingness of my fellow citizens to rationalize the President’s behavior even after they suspected, and later knew, that he was lying. Because the economy is strong, millions of people have said infidelity in the Oval Office is just a private affair–something between himself and Hillary. We heard it time and again during those months: “As long as Mr. Clinton is doing a good job, it’s nobody’s business what he does with his personal life.”

That disregard for morality is profoundly disturbing to me. Although sexual affairs have occurred often in high places, the public has never approved of such misconduct. But today, the rules by which behavior is governed appear to have been rewritten specifically for Mr. Clinton. We now know that this 50-year-old man had sexual relations repeatedly and brazenly in the White House, with a woman 27 years his junior. Then he spoke on national television while shaking his finger at the camera, and denied ever having a sexual relationship with Miss Lewinsky. He was the most powerful man in the world and she was a starry-eyed intern. That situation would not have been tolerated in any other setting — ever. And yet the apologists for the President have said endlessly, “It’s just about sex,” as though cheating on your wife was of no particular significance. But the majority of the American people replied, “I support the President.”

Let me ask, in what other context such behavior would have been acceptable? When a professor is known to have had consensual sex with a student, the university dismisses him or her forthwith. Academic institutions recognize their responsibility to protect the interests of younger and more vulnerable individuals. When a corporate executive is similarly accused, especially if numerous women claim to have been “groped” or abused in the manner of Kathleen Willey or Paula Jones, that man is fired. Period! If a middle-aged physician had sex with a younger patient in his office, he would probably lose his medical license. If a psychiatrist, psychologist or counselor entered into a sexual relationship with a patient of any age, he would be charged with malpractice. It is stated in the code of ethics for these professions.

How about the stories reported in the military this past year? Lt. Kelly Flinn was charged with having sexual relations with a subordinate and was forced to resign to avoid a court-martial. Sgt. Major Gene McKinney, the U.S. Army’s highest ranking enlisted man, went through a five week trial after being charged with sexual misconduct.  Air Force General Joseph W. Ralston was denied an assignment as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff because of an affair occurring 14 years ago. 3 Given these and other examples, how can people rationalize the dalliances of the Commander in Chief when those to whom they are accountable are held to a higher standard? Yes, the rules have changed for the President.

How can we forget the excruciating confirmation hearings of Clarence Thomas in the U.S. Senate?. Even if Anita Hill’s accusations had been accurate, the worst possible interpretation of Thomas’ behavior was that he “talked dirty” to her. That probably never happened, but even if it did, there was no sex. There were no lies or coverup. No one was involved who was half his age. And yet, many of the same feminists and liberal politicians who viciously sought to destroy Justice Thomas have rallied to support the President. Indeed, Anita Hill showed up on television a few days ago to defend Bill Clinton and to attack the independent counsel, Ken Starr.

Where, may I ask, have other feminist leaders been during this scandal, including Eleanor Smeal, Patricia Ireland, Gloria Steinem and Kate Michelman? Obviously, they are motivated not by the welfare of women but by raw political power.

How did our beloved nation find itself in this sorry mess? I believe it began not with the Lewinsky affair, but many years earlier. There was plenty of evidence during the first Presidential election that Bill Clinton had a moral problem. His affair with Gennifer Flowers, which he now admits to having lied about, was rationalized by the American people. He lied about dodging the draft, and then concocted an incredulous explanation that changed his story.  He visited the Soviet Union and other hostile countries during the Vietnam War, claiming that he was only an “observer.” Numerous sources reported that he organized and participated in anti-war rallies in the United States, Great Britain, and Norway. Clinton evaded questions about whether he had used marijuana, and then finally offered his now-infamous “I didn’t inhale” response. There were other indications that Bill Clinton was untruthful and immoral. Why, then, did the American people ignore so many red flags? Because, and I want to give the greatest emphasis to this point, the mainstream media became enamored with Bill Clinton in 1992 and sought to convince the American people that “character doesn’t matter.”

Let me share just a few of the hundreds of statements, in print and in the media, that exist on the record. You’ll quickly recognize this effort by the press to undermine the moral values that we called “character.” Hold on to your hat.

“… we can remember that we are electing not clergy but political leaders — who need to be principled and devious, compassionate and brutal, visionary and, sometimes, utterly egotistical. If we try to do much better, we will end up doing worse.”  — Suzanne Garment, San Diego Union-Tribune.1992

[Speaking on behalf of New York University media scholar Jay Rosen], “there is an important distinction between public and private character.What candidates do in private is largely irrelevant, says Rosen. What matters is their public conduct.”  — Jeremy Iggers in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune. 1992

“He [Clinton] will shave, wheedle, compromise and cajole until he finds — or creates — common ground. He is notorious for his ability to impress strangers and disarm opponents. He is notorious for leading people to believe that he agrees with them entirely…without ever committing himself to their position. This is a gift given only to the best politicians. It is how difficult things get done.” — Joe Klein, Newsweekmagazine. 1994

“Whether character is a factor or not is relevant only as it relates to what the people want in terms of a President.They’re looking for someone with the character to get the economy back on track and answer the more serious questions facing this country.”  — Max Parker, a Clinton spokeswoman during the 1992 Presidential campaign.

“Voters re-elected Clinton despite widespread doubts about his character. In CNN’s election day exit poll, most voters continued to say Clinton is not honest and trustworthy. They’ve re-elected him because of his job performance — and crossed their fingers that character would not prove to be a major problem.” — Bill Schneider, CNN. 1996

“He has vacillated on issues large and small, and at times he has conducted himself like a man with something to hide. Nevertheless, we think he is still a better choice …” 

“… Clinton was able to defuse the ‘character’ issue by focusing on voters’ own wants and needs. They put their own interests above that issue, and thus relegated all the stories about Clinton’s character to the back burner, or to the trash can. …it means that women and families have decided that it’s more important to have their own issues addressed rather than worry about the character issue.” — Robert A. Jordan of The Boston Globe. 1996.

Clinton is not the only politician in either party who lacks character, certainly, but he is the only one in American history, to my knowledge, who has been specifically applauded for his deceit. Let me share one of the most graphic illustrations of that support. Please read carefully the following statement by noted syndicated columnist, Richard Cohen, after Clinton’s first term.

“… he [Clinton] has been accused of adultery, sexual harassment, and ducking the draft — allegations that send some people into a frenzy of Clinton-hating. The President’s ultimate sin, it seems to some people, is that he appears to have broken the rules — and gotten away with it. That is unforgivable. But to the rest of us, the character issue just hasn’t taken. If we have learned anything over the last four years, it is that strictly personal behavior — in other words, sex — might be interesting, might be titillating, and might be even downright riveting…. One can argue that in both his triumphs and his failures there is a connection between the private and public Bill Clinton. But once the public man is known, the private one just doesn’t seem to matter anymore…. In his own way, Clinton taught us all a lesson about personal character that we should all remember the next time around: It’s sometimes more interesting than important.” — Richard Cohen of The Washington Post. 1996

I wonder what words of wisdom Cohen has to offer about the President now. We don’t have to guess about his colleague at The Washington Post, Michael Kelly. He said a few weeks ago: “[Clinton] will never stop lying. To borrow a hyperbolic description of another of the century’s historic prevaricators, every word he utters is a lie, including ‘and’ and ‘the.’ He will lie until the last dog dies.” 

It is obvious that the media now realizes they misled the American people. Most of the largest and most influential newspapers in the country are calling for Clinton’s resignation. Maureen Dowd, writing in The New York Times, said, “Mr. Clinton has killed something worthy and important in public life. All this carnage, and for what? To cover up some seamy sexcapades? His game has grown exhausting.” 

Noemie Emery spoke of Bill Clinton “trailing his fragrant scandals behind him.” Let’s look at the record in the past five years. The American people have been subjected to a barrage of lies and half-truths — from Whitewater, to Filegate, to Travelgate, to Paula Jones, to Kathleen Willey, to the mysterious disappearance of subpoenaed documents, and ultimately, to alleged campaign finance illegalities that may yet bring down the President. If you followed the stories during the past six years, you’ll recognize the names of numerous people associated with convictions or allegations of wrongdoing, including David Hale, David Watkins, Mike Espy, Joycelyn Elders, Henry Cisneros, Webster Hubbell, Ron Brown, Jim Guy Tucker, Hazel O’Leary, Jim McDougal, Susan McDougal, Craig Livingstone, Dick Morris, John Huang, Johnny Chung, Charlie Trie, Al Gore (regarding the Buddhist monks and the illegal telephone calls), and finally, Hillary Clinton, who has been subpoenaed by the independent counsel and given sworn testimony on five separate occasions. 21 There’s a story behind each of these names that are linked to the President. All of this from the man who promised “the most ethical administration in the history of the Republic.” 22

As it turns out, character DOES matter. You can’t run a family, let alone a country, without it. How foolish to believe that a person who lacks honesty and moral integrity is qualified to lead a nation and the world! Nevertheless, our people continue to say that the President is doing a good job even if they don’t respect him personally. Those two positions are fundamentally incompatible. In the Book of James the question is posed, “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring” (James 3:11 NIV). The answer is no.

Speaking again of the First Lady, we’re being asked to believe that she knew nothing about the President’s escapade. I don’t want to be insensitive during her very difficult trial, but there is something strange about that explanation. After all, Hillary has been over this road before with her husband. Remember her appearance on 60 Minutes in 1992 when candidate Clinton admitted he had “caus[ed] pain in [my] marriage”  regarding the affair with Gennifer Flowers? Hillary has dealt with infidelity at least once. Wouldn’t that have unsettled Mrs. Clinton, especially when she knew about the charges made by Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey and possibly others. Are we to believe that this brilliant woman, a highly respected lawyer, neither saw nor heard anything leading her to conclude that her husband was lying? Did their private conversations reveal anything suspicious to her? How could she not have known about Monica these past seven months when the entire world was digging for information? It doesn’t sound believable to me.

This, then, is the key question. If Hillary did know about the affair, does that mean she lied too? And if so, was it not inexcusable for her to appear on the Today Show in January to blame the “right-wing conspiracy”  for trouble that she knew was of her husband’s own making?

One thing is certain: Mr. Clinton has betrayed some of his closest friends, many of them being women who were pressed into his defense. Included among them were Senator Dianne Feinstein, Senator Barbara Boxer,  Betty Currie, Ann Lewis, Dee Dee Myers, Mandy Grunwald, Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, and Secretary of Health and Human Services Donna Shalala,  among others. Columnist Thomas Sowell wrote, “What could be more selfish or more gutless than a man hiding behind a woman, especially a woman young enough to be his daughter.”  Noted in the President’s weak and defensive explanation on August 17 was no mention of Monica Lewinsky and the other cast of characters. The President owes all his defenders an apology.

I think it is also appropriate that the President’s spinmeister, James Carville, apologize to the independent counsel, Ken Starr, for saying “what the man [Starr] ought to do is close up his little obsessive sex shop and go back to whatever he’s doing. And I’m saying this: that this little pygmy of a public man, Ken Starr, this is all he’s got. This is his last dying gasp to save his reputation for history, and it’s not going to work.”  Carville also stated that Starr was “about as independent as a turkey is bright,” 29 “a right-wing partisan hack,” 30 and accused him of “scuzzy, slimy” tactics. 

Can you imagine the President of the United States being represented by such an undignified character? Mr. Starr is a courageous public servant. He has taken the heat to get at the truth, and we haven’t seen all the facts to date. This Christian man, who was asked by the Attorney General to do this thankless job, will be vindicated in the end, and indeed, he has already!

Well, that brings me back to the issue with which we began. The American people have now heard the President’s dramatic confession of adultery. There is no longer any reason to speculate, and yet, the media reports that the majority continues to believe “it doesn’t matter.” At one point during the shocking revelations last month, Clinton’s public approval rating approached 70 percent!  I just don’t understand it. Why aren’t parents more concerned about what their children are hearing about the President’s behavior? Are moms and dads not embarrassed by what is occurring? At any given time, 40 percent of the nation’s children list the President of the United States as the person they most admire.  What are they learning from Mr. Clinton? What have we taught our boys about respecting women? What have our little girls learned about men? How can we estimate the impact of this scandal on future generations? How in the world can 7 out of 10 Americans continue to say that nothing matters except a robust economy?

I am left to conclude from these opinions that our greatest problem is not in the Oval Office. It is with the people of this land! We have lost our ability to discern the difference between right and wrong. Biblical moral principles have guided us since the Pilgrims came to these shores. In his farewell address to the Congress in 1796, George Washington said:

“Of all the disposition and habits which lead to political prosperity, Religion and morality are indispensable supports…. And let us with caution indulge the supposition, that morality can be maintained without religion … reason and experience both forbid us to expect that national morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle.” 

Clearly, this nation has been blessed because it was based on a commitment to biblical morality. But that is changing. Eleven years ago, Gary Hart was forced to withdraw from the Presidential race after a brief tryst,  and yet the majority today seems to find nothing wrong with behavior that is too disgusting to be reported on the evening news.

We are facing a profound moral crisis — not only because one man has disgraced us — but because our people no longer recognize the nature of evil. And when a nation reaches that state of depravity — judgment is a certainty.

As for the future of Bill Clinton, who knows where his presidency is headed. Because I’m writing this on September 1, he may or may not still be president by the time you read this. I see the President as a prize fighter who’s been staggered by a succession of blows, but he’s still standing. One more solid punch and he could go down.

Only time will tell. Regardless of his personal future, I hope that Mr. Clinton will, as William Mattox suggested, “choose to follow in the path of Watergate figure Chuck Colson, a man who came clean with the truth, owned up to his misdeeds and found, at the height of his public humiliation, a new life and a new purpose.”  As with all of us sinners, Jesus Christ is the atonement.

Pray with us for our country, won’t you? Nothing short of a spiritual renewal will save us.

Sincerely,
James C. Dobson, Ph.D
President

If you made it through this post, I owe you a gold star. But seriously, I hope this brought some truth to light. For so many people including Christians, character only matters when it fits their narrative. It pains me to write that, but truth is truth. I pray everyone will take some time to reflect on this post and asked yourself if character truly does matter to you. Thanks again for taking the time to read this post. Blessings. ~OC

“Evangelicals”

Today’s a new day! We see the word “evangelical” all over social media and the news these days. But what does this word really mean? The word “Evangelical” comes from the Greek word “euanggelion” which means “Gospel” or “Good News.” The aim of Christians, including myself, is to spread the Good News of love, forgiveness and salvation in the name of Jesus Christ.

Sadly today, the word “evangelical” has taken on a negative meaning to many around the world, because people recognized as “evangelical” have supported a man for president who clearly does not represent the teachings of Jesus Christ. This man is known for his lies about winning the last election, when he was shown many times that he did not win. He is known for his lack of respect and demeaning language for others, both opponents and previous supporters.

The most dangerous aspect of this man’s words is his threats to take revenge on his opponents and concentrate power in himself. He is certainly not the kind of person we want as an example for young people or anyone to follow as leader of our beautiful and imperfect nation. It is very difficult to think of him as a person who represents America to the world. I am very familiar with the argument that God chooses imperfect leaders to aid God’s people, like Cyrus of Persia, who released the Israelites from captivity. This is used as an excuse for supporting the former president who lacks integrity and poses a great threat to American democracy. He shows his love of power by his admiration of autocrats and supposed “strong men.”

Christians may vote for whomever they like, but it certainly does not reflect well on “Evangelicals” that they have become a key part of the voting block for the former President. This man has been described as a defender of Christianity, just as many authority figures and rulers in the past have been. The connection of Christianity to governmental power has been one of the historical hindrances to the spread of the Gospel. In contrast, the founder of Christianity, Jesus Christ, walked away from claiming such power and did not urge his followers to seek such power.

Christians who carry the label “evangelical” discredit their witness to the world by their association with the former president with his great desire for personal power and his revengeful attitude. This may appeal to some “evangelicals” who feel disdain for today’s society, for those in the media, for those in science, in higher education, and especially by those they consider liberal Christians in churches. These “Evangelicals” like that the former president talks down those he considers an enemy. The main purpose of Christians in relation to those seeking office in the government should be to create and support a government that cares for the disadvantaged and marginal people in the nation and gives opportunities to the poor to receive a helping hand, so they can work through the tough times and have a better life. Sadly, so many “evangelicals” have spoken out against any programs or laws that would extend a helping hand. These “Evangelicals” have supported this guy in his isolationism as he opposes aiding our allies in maintaining their democracies.    

In the end, any message conveyed to the world, including the message of Christians, whether known as Evangelicals or not, must stand on its inherent power to change lives, not on the backing of any political power. The challenge for us carriers of this good news is to show its genuine spiritual transformative power by demonstrating that power in our own imperfect and flawed lives to benefit all people, communities and the world, especially those in need of lifting out of misery to a life of peace and joy. Our democracy gives freedom to all faiths to proclaim and demonstrate their messages. In today’s world, the challenge is to make the message truly Good News for all. ~OC

Embrace Your “Can’t”

Today’s a new day! I used to tell people that the word “Can’t” should never be uttered from their mouth. I used to use the popular phrases “Just Do It,” and “Sleep when you’re dead.” Yes, I was that guy.

In today’s world, we are pushed and even encouraged to take on more and more, and we are seen as weak or strange when we are unable, or do not want to do so.

For me, this mindset came from my passion for life. It was fueled by a deep craving to achieve everything in life. It’s what made me intense, driven, competitive, and hardworking. It was who I was. Until I wasn’t.

As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for 22 years, it took me some time to come to terms with my “can’t.” Early on in my health journey, I constantly pushed through truly excruciating symptoms, like level 10 pain, exhaustion from weeks of no sleep, and unrelenting crushing fatigue even when I did sleep. I pulled myself together through constant life-threatening health issues, and participated in physical activities that I had no business attempting with a smile on my face (like running multiple marathons with no training) – while inside my body, my mind, and my spirit were dying a slow and agonizing death. Yet I still didn’t listen.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Because I believe I could have spared my body a lot of pain and damage, my mind a lot of anxiety, if I had just learned to accept, or even embraced my “can’t” earlier in my health journey. I would have also spared my bride from a lot of worrying.

I want to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. I hope you take the time to read and reflect on them.

1). “Can’t” Is Not Weakness:

The biggest hurdle when it comes to dealing with “can’t” is intimately understanding on a heart-knowledge level that being unable to do certain things because of your illness does not mean you are weak, lazy, unintelligent, or unmotivated. This is where I was stuck for a long time. I had believed my whole life that if I couldn’t perform at peak levels, it must be my fault and that I just wasn’t trying hard enough. So, when my illness started to seriously affect my work quality in the career I had worked so hard to achieve, I compared myself to those around me, and told myself that I was just “too stupid” or “lazy” to do the job. At times I listened to the lies that I was worthless.

Hello Over-Achiever. I want to talk to you directly now. You burn-the-candle-at-both-ends doers. You know-you-can-conquer-the-world types. You did not choose your health issues. You didn’t work hard your whole life just to become a “lazy” and “unmotivated” on a whim. That’s not you and that’s not what is happening in your life. It’s not a matter of motivation, drive, desire, or ambition. It’s not a matter of not trying hard enough. It’s a matter of your body revolting against the true self of your mind and spirit. It’s a matter of your earthly vessel failing the real and eternal you that lives inside. The true and eternal you is still the same as it has always been: driven, motivated, intelligent, and strong. Once you accept this and understand the gulf between the two “yous,” you can take strides to get your body back on board so that a more collected, collective you can get back to truly living.

Accepting your “can’t” isn’t weakness; it’s actually strength. It means that you are strong enough to look your health challenge squarely in the face and get after the business of Overcoming. It means that you are brave enough to accept that your life right now must take an unexpected detour. It means that you are willing to admit your physical “can’t” so that you can open your mind and spirit to what you can and must do to regain your health. And the only way you can allow your focus to properly shift to healing is to first completely embrace your illness and your “can’t.”

2. “Can’t” Allows Healing:

Sadly, it took me several years to embrace this truth. I am encouraging you not to wait. Because if you don’t fully believe and fully accept that you are sick, you will keep running the rat race. But if you look deep in your heart, listen to your body, and know in truth that you are sick, then you can accept it. Embrace it.

I cannot stress this enough. Because until you wholly feel the weight of it, until you embrace it and believe it, you can’t get truly angry about what your illness is stealing from you. And until you get angry you cannot mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare for the battle ahead of obtaining a full and accurate diagnosis, proper treatment, and hopefully better health. This is how coming to terms with your “can’t” sets you on the path to healing.

If you are in the early stages of your health journey, this next part may shock you. The medical system (at least in the United States) will not completely facilitate you regaining your health. Not at all. Unless you are exceptionally fortunate, your journey is not going to look like: get sick, see a doctor, get better. No, if you have a chronic or complex illness, generally speaking you need to prepare for battle. You need to arm yourself with knowledge and with the mental fortitude to be your own advocate. You need to prepare to fight for your life. You need to push for answers and drive the process. No one else will or can do it for you.

This is why embracing your “can’t” is so important. Because when you truly realize what you “can’t,” you get really, really angry at this invisible thief of life that is your illness. I don’t mean “bitter” angry, I mean “motivated and determined” angry. And you’re going to need that determination to drive the (sometimes grueling) battle that lies before you. And that drive to press forward in the battle is the only thing that will lead you to wellness.

It’s all you, Warrior! So get really angry at your “can’t” and resolve in your mind to do everything you humanly can to regain your health.

3. “Can’t” might be forever (But it’s not your identity): One of the more valuable pieces of advice I can share with you is that your “can’t” might be forever. That can be a difficult pill to swallow. But your “can’t “ does not need to become your identity. My life is much more than all the “limitations” I face on a daily basis. My life is full of hope, adventures and overcoming all the bumps in the road.

4. “Can’t” Makes Room for “Can”

Another critically important thing that coming to terms with your “can’t” does is that it makes room in your life for your “can.” Some of your “cans” may look something like:

1). I can make healthy, life-giving meals for myself to help my body heal.

2). I can research my illness for myself so that I have the knowledge to ask good questions at my appointments and to make educated treatment decisions.

3). I can maintain a positive attitude, despite how I feel.

4). I can make time for self-care activities that will help my body.

5). I can surround myself with people who encourage me in my health journey.

6). I can purposefully structure my life so that it supports wellness and healing.

7). Even though I couldn’t yesterday, today I can go for a short walk or bike ride.

8). This morning, I can rise early and sit peacefully to watch the sun rise

9). Right now, I can make positive choices to help with the symptoms I’m experiencing.

10). Don’t get hung up on committing to daily schedules of “cans” or expecting some type of minimum performance of “cans.” While it’s absolutely important to have bigger, more overarching “can” goals, embrace what you can do today and accept that tomorrow’s “cans” may look very different based on your health. Every day is a new opportunity to discover and put into practice the things you can do.

Here are some practical steps that can be used to work towards peace with your current “can’t:”

1. Pray

2. Journal

3. Reach out to family/friends

4. Reach out for professional help if needed

Coming to terms with your “can’t” may be difficult, but it’s so important and it opens the way for healing and wellness to come in time. You are unbelievably strong to live with your symptoms day in and day out and even stronger to accept and face such a challenge head on. Be encouraged that your “can’t” is just for right now and that nothing we face on this side of Heaven is forever. ~OC

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Transformed Nonconformist

Today’s a new day! Did you know there are 1,430 hate groups in the United States alone. Sadly, those numbers are growing. While many tend to be small, they have political power and want to see unrest across America.

Hate groups will continue to poison hearts, stir up violence, and polarize people in 2024 and beyond. So to gear up for these challenges, I reflected back on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s book Strength to Love. I encourage you to check it out.

The book is a fascinating read, but one of the phrases Dr. King used truly grabbed my attention. Dr. King calls us to be “Transformed Nonconformist” Here is the scripture that Dr. King used to come up with this beautiful term.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2).

Transformed nonconformists reject racism, discrimination, hatred and anything that tears our society apart and tries to divide us.

Transformed nonconformists break the chain reaction of evil by refusing to “fight fire with fire.”

Why? Because as Dr. King explains, “Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence… in a descending spiral of destruction” This is one of the main reasons for not responding in kind to evil. In the powerful words of Mahatma Ghandi, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

The second part of Romans 12 describes the divine reason we break the chain reaction of evil. The Scriptures command us to conquer hate through the power of love:

*Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (v. 14).

*Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone (v. 17).

*If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (v. 18).

*Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath (v. 19).

*If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink… (v. 20).

*Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (v. 21).

These commands indicate that a transformed nonconformist is in fact a peacemaker. And these peacemakers break the chain reaction of evil – through suffering, absorbing pain and responding in love.  

Peacemaking is not for the faint of heart. Peacemaking demands an uncompromising rejection of the unloving ways of the world and a radical embrace of the enemy-loving way of Jesus.

I read an article once where a civil rights worker was asked how he was able to endure racial hatred and violence while working for justice. “The hatred coming at me in those fists and clubs was bouncing right off me back into the air, and it could just continue to spread like electricity. I decided not to fight back. I would let my body absorb that hatred, so that some of it would die in my body and not bounce back into the world. I now see that my job in the midst of evil is to make my body a grave for hate.”

Did you catch that last sentence? “Making my body a grave for hate.” That sounds scary. It is! That is why I chose to follow Jesus – the one who made his body a grave for hate, the one who rose from the grave, and the one who said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you” (John 20:21).

I pray you will join me on this journey of Love over hate. ~OC

Keep Soaring

Today’s a new day! I write this as another hurricane comes through Florida. A good majority of the state is still recovering from another hurricane that hit us just a few weeks ago. These back-to-back hurricanes got me to thinking.

One thing about the storms of life is they do not last forever. They come and go. It is the size of our faith in God that determines how we will make it through each storm we face. Overcoming the storms of life can be overwhelming at times. When going through the storms of life, our faith and focus should be on God, the author and the finisher of our faith, not our problems. Sometimes that is easier said than done. It is during the storms of life when our faith is tested.

The only way to overcome the storm is to face and confront it. Overcomers cannot afford to play hide and seek with challenges, but instead must choose to face and deal with them head on. The challenges we are facing are just for a short time. We can never allow them to rob us of our destiny. We can never give up on life, on our faith, on our family/friends, and on the important things in life. We must face the storms of life and trust God for a brighter future. God did not bring us this far to leave us. He has a purpose for our lives. The word of God says- But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. ~Isaiah 43:31. I do not know about you, but that gives me hope.

While all the other birds fly away from the storm with fear, an eagle spreads its mighty wings and uses the current to soar to greater heights. An eagle doesn’t run for safety during the storms, but rather, it takes advantage of it to soar to some higher spot. Storms need somebody who will not give up no matter how hard it is. During the storms, take advantage to pray harder and worship like never before. There are times when the storms of life hit us so hard, when the storms threaten to sweep away all that we have. I am talking about times when the storms take away our loved ones, when the storms take away our possessions. Those are the very times we need to stand up and face the storms head on. God is bigger than any storm we will ever face in life. To overcome the storms of life, we have to have faith which is bigger than the storms. Our life is not over until God says it is.

If we are going to overcome the storms of life, we must let go of certain things surrounding our lives. We have to let go of some people who are holding us back. We have to let go of all of our fears and doubts. We have to let go of everything that is weighing us down and soar to a higher spot. Leave gossipers to gossip, leave haters to hate. Overcomers do not have time to confront everyone who speaks against them. Those living without purpose have limited vision, but overcomers see beyond the storms. Your storm will not last forever. Keep soaring! ~OC

Jars of Clay

Today’s a new day! In 2 Corinthians 4:7-9, we read the following words: “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed.”

In the above verse, Paul is comparing us to jars of clay in verse seven because life here on earth will cause us to be broken sometimes and when we are we always have the choice on what we will do with our brokenness.  If we allow God to fill us more with each and every passing trial or heartache, He can shine through that brokenness and others will see Him. Even though some heartaches and storms seem to last forever Paul goes on to explain how we need to view everything in life on earth.  

In 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, it declares, “Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  As difficult as it is to look at some storms as being temporary when we know here on earth it isn’t just going to go away, God is drawing us to His side to allow Him to fill us with more of His light and to be comforted by Him.  He wants our focus to be on Him and eternity.  He wants His light to shine through our brokenness so the world will see Him.  The world is a dark, lost place and people need Jesus. The more we choose to be different by living a life that is pleasing to God the more they will see Him. Paul took great joy the more broken he became because He understood that the more weak he became the more God was shining through His life.  

Whether we are looking at our own life or the life of someone we love, don’t lose heart. God loves us and He has a plan. We need to fix our eyes on Him and seek Him and His plan. Allow Him to fill us so every crack of that broken jar shines His light to a lost world. The darker the world gets the more our light can shine for Him if we are seeking Him and allowing Him to shine through us. Our hope is found in Him and He wants to fill us with that hope. He wants to fill us with the confidence that whatever we may be facing or someone we love is facing that He has a plan but we must seek Him and follow Him. Don’t look for another way, the answers that we are seeking are found in God. It may seem easier and faster to look for it somewhere else, but if it isn’t His plan then it isn’t His best. So let us seek Him and trust Him, knowing how much He loves us so we can know that truly His best is yet to come. May we lean into His promises. ~OC

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