Based on my earlier post, several people reached out to see what they could do or what I might need. As I continue to move through this new phase of dementia, there are plenty of tools and games to try and keep my mind sharp. Some of them help and some are still in the testing phase. The one thing that has proven to help, is visits and phone calls from friends. So when people asked me how they can help, I encourage them to call or visit. So I will leave the ball in your court on how you choose to respond to this post. Please know I am always praying for you. I pray everyone has a beautiful weekend. ~OC
Unanswered Prayers
Good Morning! Here is another entry from “The Lost Writings of OC.” This was written in 2019.
Today’s a new day! As I reflect back on my life, I am thankful that God said no to some of my prayer request over the years.
In the Garden of Gethsemane, as the cross was getting closer, Jesus prayed to the Father: “He walked away, about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”(Luke 22:41–42)
Never be afraid to pray the following: Not my will, but Yours be done. By saying that, you are simply saying, God I do not know all the facts. I do not know everything there is to know. My knowledge is limited. My experience is limited. So if what I am praying is outside of Your will for any reason, please graciously, but firmly say no.
I know this can be hard at times. Sometimes we do not understand why God doesn’t give us what we ask for. I am thankful that when I was single, God did not answer my prayers about some of the young ladies I was interested in at the time. If I would have said yes to any of those potential relationships when God was telling me no, I would have missed out on marrying my beautiful bride Laura so many years ago.
As we get a little older, we can look back with 20/20 hindsight, and say, Thank you God for not answering those prayers. Or maybe we can look back and be thankful for all of the prayers He did answer. The point is that God knows what’s best for our lives, even when we do not understand it at the time.
Have you ever forced something to happen? Maybe you even felt that God was saying no to it. You remember how that turned out. . .
Finally, I want to remind you of the words of Jesus and encourage you to remember them: “Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:32-33). Walk in that truth today. ~OC
The Battle
Good morning! Here is another post from “The Lost Writings of OC.” This was written in 2019. Have a great day!
I am a Warrior, Fighter, Conqueror and Overcomer. Some people do not like using those terms when talking about their health journey, but I embrace each of them. Because every day that I am blessed to wake up and make it through another day is a Victory. A Battle won.
The words “fighter” and “warrior” are often linked with our response to illness. I think it’s appropriate. I have walked the halls of hospitals, chemo rooms, hospice rooms and believe me each of those individuals were fighting a battle. Waging war against a disease that is trying to destroy every single part of their bodies.
As I have traveled my own crazy beautiful health journey, I have been blessed to meet and become friends with some amazing “Warriors.” I do not think any of us warriors would consider ourselves to be “inspirations.” Even though a lot of people like to put that term on us. No, we are just focused on making it through the tough moments of the day. The weeks. And for some like me, the years. We will leave all the “inspirational” talk to you.
For many the word “fighting” might sound exhausting. And it can be. There are some days I just want a break from this health battle. When this happens, I do not want to be told I’m inspirational and to “just keep going!” or “battle on!” I just want someone to listen. This is where I have found my “people in my boat” to be so helpful. Even though some have never had to walk through a health battle, they have walked through their own battles in life. One of my friends once shared “Just keep swimming, and when you can’t swim, just float.” Some days I just want or need to float for a while.
So I will continue to use terms like Warrior, Overcomer, Fighter and Conqueror. I believe these terms unite those living with chronic health problems. We will fight and overcome together. ~OC
Life with Myasthenia Gravis
Good Morning! More writings from the “Lost Writings of OC.” I thought I would share a little bit about my Myasthenia Gravis (MG) experience with you today. I originally wrote this in 2024 and updated it several weeks ago. As I share this with you, my MG is getting much worse.
Today’s a new day! Myasthenia Gravis (MG) is an autoimmune disease that causes muscle weakness. But what exactly does muscle weakness feel like? To understand more, let me walk you through a typical day with MG.
For me it feels like I’ve run out power. In general, I feel it’s a huge effort to move when I’m very weak. When my legs are weak, they feel heavy and unsteady. I feel like I cannot move them or trust them to hold me up. The weaker I get, the closer and closer my steps get to each other, until I have to stop and lean against something or just sit down.
Also, I get pain in my hip flexors – basically my butt. It’s the same kind of pain you get from overdoing a workout: an achy soreness that feels like you have overused the muscles. These days, I deal with hip pain on a constant basis.
When my shoulders are weak, which is most of the time lately, I feel like I just cannot lift my arms. Like there are heavy weights holding them down.
My neck continues to get weaker. I just cannot hold my head up. It falls to the side or down, or I have to prop it up with my hand on my chin and my elbow on a table, or with a U-shaped neck pillow and a high-backed chair. As my neck weakens, I develop achy pain in my upper back from trying to hold my head up. I sometimes get a nauseating gagging sensation from my throat collapsing.
Eating with MG can be a challenge from having to take breaks while eating, to choking on solids and fluids. Sitting down to eat or drink is a major undertaking. I also start to slur my speech, and I get short of breath from minor exertion, or sometimes just sitting still.
I always have muscle weakness, but it gets more severe with heat, exertion, lack of sleep, infections, or other stressors. Summertime can be very challenging. Extreme cold is not my friend either.
Based on my weakened lung muscles, I am unable to take deep breaths. This causes issues on so many different levels. These days, every breath is a struggle.
I have to stay on top of my medications for the Myasthenia Gravis. I have to take one of those medications four times a day. Oh, I better not miss those dosages or things can go down hill pretty quickly.
I try to dress in cool fabrics and wear layers in winter. And I try to protect myself from sickness by keeping my vaccines up to date, wearing a mask when needed , and using hand sanitizer or washing my hands frequently when I am out of the house. I tend to fist bump and avoid shaking hands or hugging.
You know how much I love to walk, but that is getting harder these days. I have added a walking stick to help with my balance. This is a far cry from my marathon days
My medical team continuously tells me I am a one in two billion case with all of the multiple diagnosis. With Myasthenia Gravis, I fall into a small group of people being diagnosed with MG after having their thymus removed. My cancerous thymus was removed in 2003, but I was not diagnosed with MG until 2009. I will not go into what the thymus does, but feel free to research on your own.
How friends loved ones can help
One thing my friends and family do for me that’s immensely helpful is helping to educate themselves on Myasthenia Gravis so they can explain it to others and better understand my daily challenges.
I only have a few people besides my bride, who truly know me and my MG that well, but they are lifesavers. They’re also the ones I’ll talk candidly to when my MG gets me down. I cannot be relentlessly cheerful all the time, but I try.
I hope this gives you a better understanding of what Myasthenia Gravis looks like and how it affects my life on a daily basis. Each day is a struggle, but I continue to push forward and look at all the positives in my life. I encourage you to do the same. Go have a great day! ~OC
Dear God, Sometimes the pain is so great, I cannot think beyond my current struggle. On hard days, please ease my pain and help me focus on Your goodness one day, one hour, one moment at a time. Let Your overwhelming peace wash over me and remind me Your mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). There are days when I beg you to take the pain away. Days I just don’t have the strength. In those desperate times, I ask for Your unending strength to sustain me. I cannot do it alone, but with You all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). Amen
My Life With Parkinson’s
Good Morning! I wanted to share a bit of my Parkinson’s experience with you today. I was diagnosed with PD in 2007. The disease is starting to take its toll on me, but I continue to live with an attitude of hope. I originally wrote this in 2019 and updated it the first of 2025.
Today’s a new day! Living with Parkinson’s takes hope, persistence and a strong will to live. Because Parkinson’s never takes a day off. Parkinson’s is a daily battle. In the presence of Parkinson’s, one must have courage, the strength of character, and for me a strong faith.
While there’s life, there’s hope. Each morning when I wake, I do a full-body inventory, thinking ‘Okay body, what awaits us today?’ I remain hopeful that my just-completed sleep has re-fueled my brain and re-stocked my body. Of course that’s on the nights I actually sleep. Cloaked around every fiber of my body is my unwelcome guest named Parkinson’s; however, the day has started anew, and there is much to accomplish. I use hope as an anchor to secure my body and mind against the slowly rising tide from Parkinson’s. There is still time while staying hopeful.
Living with a positive attitude makes a big difference. Before I get out of my recliner, it can be easy to feel sorry for myself. I have Parkinson’s, a progressive neurodegenerative disorder. And that’s the negative mindset Parkinson’s has provided but I try to never allow myself to stay there for very long. There are days that are going to be difficult; yet staying positive and focusing on the plans God has for my life is where I choose to place my focus. I choose to look at my life with a positive attitude. That is completely opposite of how this disease wants me to feel and live.
I have found living this journey and sharing my story has been a privilege of a lifetime. I start each day with a prayer to focus on what plans God would have for me on that particular day. I choose to stay engaged with the everyday activities of life. Things are starting to get much tougher these days, but I make the choice every day to embrace life to its fullest. I remind myself there is much left to accomplish in my life even in the presence of Parkinson’s. I will close with a prayer I lift up to God every morning:
Dear God, thank you for another day. Simply use me today. This is going to be a good day. I remain hopeful not hopeless, positive not negative, happy not sad, and driven not complacent. Thank you for Your strength, wisdom and courage as I walk through this day. Amen. ~OC
Some Shocking Truth
Good Morning! As I continue to go through some old journals, I keep finding some old treasures. I guess I can title this collection of writings “The Lost Writings of OC.” This was written in 2017.
Today’s a new day! Here’s some shocking truth for some: Jesus is not an American. Jesus did not come to create a blueprint for Americans to be Americans. But it seems as though our identity as Christians has blended with our identity as Americans, where it is often hard to differentiate what value comes from where.
Because in America, we have substituted the freedom that was given to us by God the Father (Galatians 5:1) for false freedom that was established by human fathers. In America, we have substituted the safety and security we have in the hands of God the Father (Psalm 91:1-2) for safety and security found at the hands of human fathers. In America, we have substituted the goal of building the kingdom of God (John 18:36) for building the kingdom of this country.
Let me be clear: This is not a political post. This is not an anti-America post. But more generally and over the longer term, I’m afraid that our pursuit of what it means to be American has undermined our pursuit of what it means to be Christian.
So the new question I have been asking is, what does it mean to be a Christian in America?
The answer to this question can unlock a freedom that is not found in the question of who is saving America from destruction but rather in the question of who the Savior of my life is (John 8:36). And the answer to this question might actually cause me to lose safety and security for the sake of others finding safety and security in Jesus (Philippians 2:4). Because answering the question of what it means to be a Christian means answering the question of where Jesus is calling me to follow him (Matthew 16:24).
So for some, this new question will cause us to look at the pain and suffering of those around us with compassion and ask Jesus to guide us in how he is wanting us to engage with lives that look different than ours (Colossians 3:12). For others, this question will cause us to look toward those who have caused us pain with mercy and loving-kindness and ask Jesus to guide us in how he wants us to engage with the lives of those who seemingly oppose us (Ephesians 4:32). But the invitation in asking the question of what it means to be a Christian in America is an invitation to stop looking at policies, people, and parties and to start looking at Jesus.
This American question has divided us, and the world is watching the internal implosion of the Church. But they are also looking for hope. And as long as we are asking the wrong question, we are unable to show them the hope we so desperately desire that they see (Colossians 1:27).
I pray everyone will take the time to reflect on this post. I pray everyone has a beautiful day. ~OC
Friendships…
The last few days, I have been going through old journals and finding some old writings. Here is one I wrote back in 2019.
Today’s a new day! So many people kick the terms “best friend,” “best friend forever,” “BFF,” or “bestie” around like a soccer ball , hoping the person they kick it to will kick it back at them. I have no doubt that for some people, the friends they make in their youth stick with them for a lifetime. But as we grow older, we realize that true friends are rare.
Some friends are here for only a season of our life – school days, college, young married, a missions trip– and then when the ties that bind them loosen, they slowly (or quickly) exit our lives. I do not think this lessens the value of the relationship. We need various people to learn from and lean on during the different seasons of our lives.
What can weaken a friendship? Two friends may mature at a different pace, or sometimes interests change. Distance can have a huge impact, if someone moves, or perhaps there’s a complete change in lifestyle. Are there friendships that can withstand any or all of these conditions?
True friendships withstand the test of time and the changes that can put obstacles in the way of a stress-free relationship. That is, it’s easy to be friends with someone who is available, who you have much in common with, and who you agree with on most issues.
I’ve learned that true friendship does not have much to do with what you have in common, though, of course, commonalities are needed, especially since they bring you together. What holds your friendship together is a deep love and concern for the other person’s well being. You care, so you continue to be there for that person.
Friends show up in times of trouble. During my crazy beautiful health journey, I have found out who my true friends are. Who those 3am friends really are. For those friends that decided to move on, I continue to pray for you and only want the best for you.
True friends are honest with each other, and they accept the other person’s honesty. They do not let petty arguments come between them. They forgive each other. They realize that they don’t always have to agree.
True friends give you the freedom to have other friends. They are secure enough to know that if you are a worthy friend, they do not have to do anything to persuade you to spend time with them. They know you have enough love in your heart for all your friendships.
True friends are not difficult to meet up with, and they aren’t hard to keep in touch with, if they live far away. While we all get busy at times, true friends inform each other that their friendship is still important, and both of them make an effort.
Over the years, I have had some friends who pulled out a calendar and listed a handful of dates over the next few months that they could schedule a time to see me. Hmm, I thought, I’m busy too (dying can take up a lot of one’s time), but it shouldn’t be that difficult to find time to spend together. In contrast, I have multiple friends that a quick phone call or text and we are meeting up within hours to catch up.
True friendships are those that bring out the best in you. Your friend should give you energy – not drain it. How many times have we stayed in relationships simply because the person was present, but deep down we know they aren’t good for us? When possible we should clear our lives of people who drain us and leave space to foster relationships that fill us up with hope and make us a better person.
I believe the mark of a true friendship is intimacy – your friends know and wants to know what is happening in your life. On some level, they stay involved in your life. Indeed, that’s the mark of a true friend.
It goes without saying that to have true friends, we must work at being a good friend.Even after fifty plus years, I am still learning how to be a better friend. I desire to have more friendships that can last the ups and downs of this journey called life. ~OC
My Room 378 Experience
Today’s a new day! As I sit in my comfortable recliner, in my comfortable apartment this morning, I have been praying and thanking God for guiding me through the last seven days in the hospital. There are still lots of questions, concerns and unknowns, but this early morning I am filled with peace. A peace that no person or circumstance can take away from me.
The past few months I have felt God wanting to have a deep conversation with me, but there was always some distractions that kept that conversation from happening. Then on New Year’s Eve, the last day of 2024, I was rushed to the ER with stroke like symptoms. After ruling out a stroke, the doctors decide to admit me for observation. Little did I know that this would be the time Jesus chose to speak to me. I wish I had the eloquent words to write down what I experienced on New Year’s Eve in room 378 that has filled me with peace, expectation and urgency. (If you want to know about my experience in room number 378, please contact me and I can share it with you). But just like the enemy likes to do, the next few days were filled with challenging moments. But as I sit here on January 7, 2025 at 3:14am, I am choosing to only remember the peace and awe I felt on the last night of 2024.
As I shared above, the experience on New Year’s Eve has filled me even more with a sense of expectation and urgency. Expectation that God is getting ready to do some amazing things, but also the urgency to share, pray, serve and write more. This experience has given me even more of a longing to share everything God has done and continues to do in regard to my crazy beautiful health journey. I want to experience even more of God’s freedom. I want to wake up each morning with delight for a new day.
As I have been up praying this morning, that sense of urgency has become stronger. I so desire for my life to have significance because of what Jesus has done and continues to do in my life. I feel laser focused on living out my days serving Jesus and others. This urgency has nothing to do with checking off a bucket list of some kind. Instead, I feel even more driven to create a legacy that points people to a relationship with Jesus.
During this twenty-two year health journey my priorities changed. My Room 378 Experience has changed me even more. I have never cared about spending money or time on material objects or activities that have no lasting impact on people’s lives. But that desire has grown even stronger. I want to conserve my time, energy, and resources for those activities that will leave an eternal imprint on my part of the world and on those God brings my way. I want to spend even more time in prayer for those I love and for this broken world.
I wake up every morning with a desire to encourage and love on people. I pray through my Room 378 Experience, that Jesus will show Himself through me even more in my little sphere of influence. Jesus put me with all my flaws, talents, life experiences, joys and sorrows, onto this earth for a reason – a purpose that He designed me to fulfill. I seek to savor each moment Jesus gives me to love and live for Him. That is my sense of urgency. It is my prayer every morning before my feet hit the ground that this day my life will not be spent in my own pursuits, but I will be a vessel for Him to touch those He places in my path. ~OC
Breakthrough
Today’s a new day! Prayer is about a relationship with Jesus. When we pray, we are committing our concerns, our worries, hurts, fears and joys to the One who wants to do life with us. We are spending time talking with Him just like a best friend. We need to stop making prayer a one way street, and grow in our relationship with the only one who will never fail us and who is always there for us. He is calling us to spend more time with Him. So my friend, pray about everything! Did you get that? Pray about everything. There are many scriptures that encourage us to pray.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~Matthew 11:28-30
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ~Philippians 4:6
God says commit your plans to Him. He wants us to surrender everything to Him. He wants to carry our burdens. God wants to do life with us. The trouble lies when we try to keep carrying ourselves and then get upset when the changes we are crying out for don’t seem to change, or go our way.
We need to learn to let go…..
So, today surrender your whole heart to Jesus. Give Him your life, your concerns, and worries today. Lay it all before Him and then trust what He is doing. Pray for spiritual eyes to see things His way because it doesn’t always go the way we want, but it’s always for our good when we live in relationship with Him.
Maybe you have found deep hurt after praying, or things went badly and you feel scared to let go. I get it. We have all been there. This can be so hard. But when we realize just how much God loves us and His plans for us are good, everything changes and we find healing. We can find beauty from the ashes. The key is to surrender it all to the Lord. Then trust that God is working it all out for our good.
God never promised us a life without trouble, but He did promise He would walk through it with us. So when life throws you a curve ball or you’re stressed out about the pressures of life, stop and do this one thing. Pray. God really does want us to pray about everything because He cares for every area of our lives.
As we have just started a New Year, I know many are praying about a breakthrough in your life. Here are some things I have learned over the years about experiencing your breakthrough.
1). Spend time with the God all day every day through conversation with Him, with worship music, or just sit in His silence. Listen and read scripture. Taking time to journal everything He is saying to you.
2). Repent. Sometimes we get so caught up in us, we forget about Him, so it’s important to ask for forgiveness when we have lost focus.
3). Surrender your plans for His plans. Sometimes it’s just a perspective change in seeing the blessings in the hardship. Learning to totally depend on Jesus is key to knowing His loving character better.
4). Ask for prayer from trusted and Godly family and friends to help carry you in prayer through this season.
5) Be specific in your prayers. Spend time talking and listen to Jesus telling Him exactly what you need. Rather than just saying Lord help me, pray specifically for what you want or need and pray in Jesus name (there is power in the name of Jesus!)! Pray wherever you are and while you are doing all the things, just like you would talk to your best friend. Always praying. Always in conversation with Him being specific.
Here is a prayer, I hope will help guide you through this season.
Dear God, I am struggling to know what to do and how to persevere in this. but God you need me to depend on you and not on my own strength so help me to surrender this over to you. Please forgive me for not despending on you. Where I am weak you are strong so I will depend on you today, so you show up and its not me. Forgive me for carrying the burdens you never intended for me to carry and I release it all over to you today ___________ (speak outloud your struggles you are battling with today).
I pray this post helps you as God prepares you for your breakthrough. Blessings. ~OC
Guiding My Steps
Today’s a new day! I am thankful as I have run this crazy beautiful health journey, that God did not reveal every step, bump, pothole or curve along this twenty-two years and counting health journey. I cannot imagine how I would have lived out this race, if I would have known how long the journey would be and all that I would have to endure. Knowing the whole story in advance would have been overwhelming. God may not have shown me every twist and turn of this health journey, but He has guided my every step. And as I have leaned into His promises, I have been amazed at everything God has brought me through.
My life and journey has not been about perfection. I have found that one of the keys to living out the toughest moments in life is my daily commitment to serve God in my words and actions. God will never abandon me as I continue to run through the bumps in the road of this health journey. There will be better days ahead and God will be with me every step of the way. ~OC
LORD, you are my portion and my cup of blessing; you hold my future. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance ~Psalm 16:5-6
The Blessed Overcomer 