Life…Is So Short

Today’s a new day! Life.. is so short. It will continue to go on. We cannot hold on and think that every day is promised. We have all experienced great losses in this journey called life. We have all felt that pain of losing a loved one, someone that we cared deeply about.

But yet we’re still here and now we must continue on. But what is the example that we’re going to leave? What kind of legacy do we want to leave behind? How do we lead the next generation? Hate is not going to make it work. Being afraid to be truthful to who you are will only limit who you truly are inside.

Don’t let anyone take that away from you. Don’t let anyone take away who you were created to be. Don’t be afraid, to be honest. Don’t be afraid to be different. Even being different can be difficult for a lot of people.

But I guarantee you this, there’s nobody in the world that can do you. When the time comes what would you leave behind? What legacy will be left behind to remind others of your greatness, of your losses, of your victories, of your sorrows? This is a short life that we all have. And it’s not easy, it’s not easy living it every day.

It’s not easy to go through so many different trials, so many different challenges. Maybe that challenge will be a lost relationship, job or financial struggle. It’s not easy walking through tough times in this life. We cannot blame life because it’s not the life that makes these challenges what they are today. It is the purpose and purpose never lies it will always tell you the truth.

But while we exist in this world right now I need you to hold on, I need you to hold on strong and don’t give up, I need you to believe in every possibility that you have and understand that it is not over for you. I need you to understand life is always going to be filled with good moments.

But keep in mind sooner or later, we will breathe our last breath. So keep pushing forward and don’t give up and don’t give in and do the best that you can to have the right attitude. To make your life matter. Your life is not an accident. Your life has so much meaning. Are you ready to take on the unknown? Are you prepared for it? You can’t even understand in most cases how beautiful it is sometimes to not even know what’s coming your way, but knowing that God is planning every step. Sometimes it’s not necessary for us to know everything, sometimes it’s not necessary to understand everything. But are you ready to embrace those moments of uncertainty?

There are a lot of negative things and people that exist in this world. People that can always find the negative in any situation. But we must make peace within our own heart. We must make peace in our community. Life.. is so short. ~OC

Choose Love Over Hate

Today’s a new day! We were taught that the direct opposite of love is hate. So does it means if we do not love someone, we actually hate that person?

Ever heard this statement; the amount of love you feel for someone is the same amount of hate you would feel for that same person? So if we love someone so much, we could hate that same person just as much.

So what is it about hatred that makes us choose it above Love?

You could be saying right now that you don’t hate anyone. Actually, just like love, hatred is in actions, in expressions. You might not go round smashing things, cussing people out, you might not even show the fictitious expression of hate we so often see in the movies, our society and so on; it still doesn’t mean you are not free from hate.

Hatred is a deep and extreme emotional dislike towards someone or a group of people. It is often associated with feelings of anger, disgust and a disposition towards hostility and often times the result of unforgiveness.

What does God have to say on the topic of Love and Hate?

You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. (Leviticus 19:17)

You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. (Leviticus 19:18)

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44)

You shall love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:39)

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you (Luke 6:27)

We hardly realize the devastating effect of hatred and how much it steals from us. Maybe because it often starts as a harmless seed sown in the heart of a person. But by the time it grows, you will be amazed how much destruction such a little seed can cause.

Let’s talk about wars, broken homes and families, terrorism, genocides, political divide, all these terrible events which have cost lives and properties and defined history, with their effects even reaching generations that were not born at the time of those events. Usually it starts as something really small, little trouble here and there. It seems not to matter at that time. However, a tiny seed can create a forest.

Think of the unhappiness and fear all around the world today, results of hatred. You may think hating one person really makes no difference, but it does.

What causes Hatred?

Fear: Often times we are afraid of things that seem different from us or things turning out differently than what we expected. Maybe a political election. Instead of being brave and facing those things, we turn to hate, feeling it is the best solution to this problem.

Jealousy/Envy: How do you react when you look around and see family or friends doing better than you and they appear to put in less effort? Your answer to this determines if you are allowing love to rule or hate.

Past Experiences/Background: Our experiences have a way of structuring our thought pattern. For example, some who have had bad experiences with a particular group of people, allow that single event to stir up hate for anyone or anything associated to that group of people.

Remember however that perfect love casts out all fear; we should not be anxious for anything but present our requests with prayers, supplications and thanksgiving and God’s peace that passes all human understanding and will guard our heart; in Christ, we are new creatures, the past is gone and we can have a fresh start.

Let’s face it, people will always hurt us, break our heart but love helps us live in peace with ourselves and others. For the world to experience peace, it needs Love.

Remember, you are never alone. ~OC

Lived-Out Gospel

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk out my faith journey, I am often asked what does the gospel look like when it’s actually lived out? I believe God gives us many characteristics of the Spirit-filled life. Here are three that stand out to me.

We cannot truly live out the gospel if there is no love. Love must come first. Jesus Himself said the first commandment is to love God, then others. He even said we are to love as He loved, which was to lay down his life.

Are we to literally lay down our lives for others? Some may be asked to make that sacrifice one day. But most of us share love by giving of our time, our talents or our finances. Sometimes love is just being there. During my many hospital stays, I have some friends who just come and sit with me. That’s love. Other times we love by listening, encouraging and praying for others. Sometimes we give the shirts off our backs, or buy a meal or provide shelter to a hurting world. Lived-out love is a powerful witness.

A second witness is grace. Grace is often an unclear or vague concept for some, so here are a few synonyms to help everyone grasp the powerful meaning of this essential truth: mercy, forgiveness, benevolence, charity, clemency, compassion, favor, forbearance, generosity, goodwill, goodness, kindness, leniency, pardon, reprieve, responsiveness, tenderness.

Grace never holds a grudge, or refuse to forgive. Grace does overlook an offense, speaks kindly when verbally attacked and believe the best about people. Lived-out grace is a powerful witness.

A third evidence of truly walking out our faith is by living an authentic life. How many times have you heard someone say something about “hypocrites in the church”? Authenticity means we speak truth no matter the cost. We actually live out what we say as much as possible; we wear no masks. We consider the impact our words and actions have on those watching or reading what we say. We are even willing to be vulnerable. Wow!

Those are risky actions. We could be misunderstood, disapproved of, even shunned or taken advantage of. But we wouldn’t be hypocrites. We would be true, real … authentic. Lived -out authenticity is a powerful witness.

May we live out the gospel with love, grace and authenticity so that people will actually see Jesus in us. ~OC

Twenty-Five Years. Twenty-Five Lessons.

Earlier this week, Laura and I celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been 25 years. This year to celebrate 25 years together, I want to share 25 things we have learned in this crazy beautiful journey. Obviously, we have learned more than 25 things, but these are the things that came to mind as I was writing this blog.

1). Pray continually.

2).Our faith in God, is what holds us together.  It’s the foundation for our relationship.

3).Protect your marriage by always putting it first…before self, before kids, before career, before parents, before friends. First. Period.

4).It’s ok to talk about how you feel. Just make sure those conversations are filled with respect.

5).Time alone together is important. Date Nights and getting away together once or twice a year is healthy for your relationship.

6).Learn the other person’s love language.

7).Laughter is good for a relationship.

8).Develop a shared interest. It can be simple. Laura and I like to travel and just sit around our house and chill.

9).You will face challenges in life. Work through those tough moments together. Always together.

10).Don’t allow family, friends or cultural to dictate your marriage.

11).In-laws can be challenging at times, but also a beautiful blessing.

12). Marriage not 50/50. It’s 100/100. However, you will not always both be able to give 100% and that’s ok. There will be times you and the Lord will carry things for the both of you. That is Love.

13). Don’t keep score.

14). Make the choice daily to love your spouse.

15). Serve your spouse even when you’re tired and maybe you don’t feel like it.

16). Communicate! Don’t keep things bottled up.

17). It’s ok to agree to disagree.

18). Having a separate interest is okay as long as it doesn’t interfere with your relationship.

19).Listen and let them know they are truly heard.

20). Tell your spouse you’re proud of them.

21). Support their dreams.

22). Critique with love.

23). When life gets tough, remember what you love about them

24). It’s a treasure to have someone to walk through the highs and lows of life with you.

25). Love always.

I am forever grateful that God has blessed me with a bride who loves God first. Also I have always known Laura loves me even on my worst day.

As I reflect on our 25 years together, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 comes to mind:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

To those couples that might be reading this post, I pray you will cling to the Lord and each other.  It’s what has carried Laura and I this far and I know it will you as well. ~OC

Between the Mourning and Tears

Today’s a new day! Another mass shooting in America. More tears. More pain. One more community devastated by gun violence. One less person at the dinner table. When will America wake up?

As I digest yet another senseless act of gun violence in America, I have to examine my own life and asked what can I do to be a positive light in a dark world?

As a Christian, I am called to remember that God chose to enter a time as violent and faithless as our own and that the light of God cannot, will not, shall not ever be overcome by the darkness of this world. What will I do with the light I have been given in the healing life, witness, death and resurrection of Jesus? Will I stare at the flame and pretend I don’t see the darkness around me? Or will I carry God’s call to put down my sword, love my enemy, and pray for those who bring harm to the world?

But I must confess; in the light of another mass shooting, sometimes it feels like what can I really do to help? The situation feels overwhelming. l long for more help, for God to come in a new and powerful way. That His love will act like a consuming fire that will burn up all the ugliness— all the negativity that mares the beauty that I know is here. Sometimes the most honest and faithful prayer I can lift up to God for America is, “Stir up your power, O Lord, and with great might come among us, because we are sorely hindered by our shortcomings, let your bountiful grace and mercy help and deliver us.”

But, we must all stand up and take action. Some of these actions will be individual and some will involve working with other people. Some of the discernment about what should be done will happen alone, in prayer, and some of it will happen in a crowded room of people who are disagreeing, respectfully, about our next steps on gun violence and other issues that are effecting our little piece of the world. But together we must press for discussion, debate, and action on the issues facing our communities. Mournful silence is an option, but only if we sinfully close ourselves off to God’s clamoring in our hearts to be part of the change.

So in between those cries for God to come, to save us in ways we cannot, we are free to make choices, each day to make a difference. We know what human beauty would look like, what it would sounds like. So why don’t we let it have its moment? ~OC

Friends

Today’s a new day! I believe we would all agree that good friendships add value to our lives. Great friends can bring out the best in us.

But sadly, we have all experienced moments in life where friends let us down. Those can be tough moments to walk through.

As I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have felt the sting of friends deciding to walk way. Those moments can lead to some of the deepest pain in life. It can be easy to get bitter about the way those friends treated me.

When walking through those moments of loss, it can feel good to get angry in those times of hurt. But by holding on to those painful moments we can end up dealing with long-term trauma. When we look at Ephesians 4:31, we read about getting rid of bitterness and anger. By allowing those harmful emotions to take hold in our lives like nasty weeds, we could potentially cut ourselves off from valuable friendships.

But when we decide to mix forgiveness with honest and open communications we can help to alleviate the pain we feel and can help walk us down the road to recovering our friendship.

In Matthew 18:22, Peter asked Jesus how often we should forgive our brother. Peter thought he was being generous when he offered to forgive his brother seven times in one day. According to human thinking, that would be quite generous, but Jesus had a different answer: “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” What?

Jesus point was not to count up to 490 offenses and then stop forgiving the one who asks for forgiveness, but to forgive always. Forgiveness should be our state of mind. It should flow from our hearts. Just as God is merciful with us when we repent, we should be merciful to others.

When friends disappoint us, mercy is not always our first reaction, but it is a response that we must learn and practice. It is important to keep perspective and recognize that we are not always perfect friends.

In this journey called life, we have definitely disappointed our friends and how did we want to be treated in those moments? A good principle to remember is given in Proverbs 18:24, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” When we keep in mind our own shortcomings, it is much easier to extend mercy and grace to others.

Before Peter asked about forgiveness, Jesus gave instructions about what to do when our friends let us down. In Matthew 18:15-20, the topic of when our friends disappoint us is addressed.

The first step is to go to our friend privately and address the issue. Hopefully they will respond positively, and further steps will not be needed.

The key to going to our friends is that we must do so in love. In Proverbs 17:17 we read, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother and sister is born for adversity.” Without first being willing to forgive our friend and striving to remember our love for them, we run the risk of making matters worse. Our hurt feelings and disappointments may come out in anger and drive our friends away.

I believe friends are to hold each other accountable. Solomon wrote about this in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” The point is not to tear each other apart, but to build each other up and hopefully make our relationship even stronger.

Once we have truly forgiven our friends and reached out to them, then the responsibility is on them to respond. Hopefully their response will be positive, and the problem will be resolved. But if not, we will have peace in knowing that we have done everything in our power to make amends.

There is joy that can come in gaining a friend back, but recognize that doesn’t always happen overnight. As time moves forward, our responsibility is to not allow disappointment to generate bitterness, but to replace that disappointment with love, grace and forgiveness. ~OC

Happy 25th!

Today, Laura and I are celebrating our 25th Wedding Anniversary. When you start out on this journey called marriage, your 25th anniversary seems so far away. But, as many people told us as newlyweds, time flies when you are having fun and it sure does.

We met at a singles event along the walking trail in Palm Beach, FL in January 1999. We enjoyed some great conversation and laughs, but we both did not walk away thinking that’s the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. No, that would come a little later. But not much later. But we took those first few months to pray and get to know each other better.

So in April of 1999, we got engaged. I told you it was not much later. Then on September 3,1999, we both took vows to love, respect and cherish each other for the rest of our days. Oh, we also committed to love each other through sickness and health. Little did we know what was ahead of us in that area of our marriage. I think Laura drew the short stick on that one.

As many of you know, just a few years into our marriage my health started to decline. What we thought would be a short story of overcoming health issues, has turned into a twenty-two year and counting crazy beautiful journey. One that has drastically changed our marriage and our lives. But I believe Laura would agree, it has made our marriage and our lives stronger.

As we have walked this crazy health journey, we have been surrounded by some amazing family and friends. Some of those friends have been part of our love story from the very beginning. I am so thankful for their support during our journey and for having them share in so many special moments with us over the last 25 years.

The past 25 years have been filled with some tough moments. We have dealt with issues most couples will never deal with or at least not until they’re later years. We have been told countless times, that I would not make it for another 24 hours. We have celebrated countless holidays with me in the hospital. But through all of those tough moments, we dealt with them together. And we laughed. One of the promises I made to Laura on the day we got married, was I would make her laugh every day. Even through the storms of life, I am happy to say I have kept that promise. As Laura and I have traveled this journey we realize that marriage is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. We have made our marriage a priority and kept God at the center.

As we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary today, we count it all joy for the amazing journey God has allowed us to experience together. We know every day and every anniversary is a gift. A gift we never take for granted. So today, we will spend some time reflecting, celebrating and laughing. Always laughing. Together. ~OC

Partisan Politics

Today’s a new day! There are several things I dislike about the blending of politics and the Christian community. I could write a series of books on that topic. One of those issues is when some in the Christian community refer to an opposing candidate or political party as “The Enemy.” Really? The enemy? Do you realize you probably have more in common with that “enemy” than you have differences. By using such language we’re potentially missing out on a great friendship because of politics. God’s heart must break when he sees this happening among his children.

I truly believe Christians can vote, engage in respectful political conversations, and be passionate about policies and issues. I think lively and respectful discussions make us better people. But, when we engage in political conversations, we should avoid engaging in partisan politics.

What does the dictionary say about the word Partisan? “A feeling, showing, or deriving from strong and sometimes blind adherence to a particular party, faction, cause, or person.”

One of the problems with partisan loyalty, is often those strong opinions about a particular political affiliation becomes core to a person’s identity. For instance, when we fall into the partisan trap, we do not simply agree with Democrats or Republicans on certain issues, “Democrat” or “Republican” becomes fundamental to how we think of ourselves. Similarly, ideological perspectives, such as “Progressive” or “Conservative,” can also become cornerstones of our identity.

Partisan beliefs sometimes become fixated on a political leader. Our loyalty gets directed to the person who leads the party, embodies the party’s values, or seems capable of saving the party from opponents. That strong and sometimes blind adherence can be concentrated on one particular person.

So, what happens when we give our loyalty to a politician, a party, or an ideological group? What are some of the negative effects of partisanship?

Our values become shaped by culture and not by our faith. For Christians, partisanship often begins with genuine Christian motivation. We find that one party seems to align with biblical values on a particular issue or policy. Perhaps it is a concern for the poor or a concern for the unborn. It could be a biblical stance on sexual ethics or justice for people wrongly accused of crime. This desire to support a party that supports biblical values is admirable.

However, political parties are a mixed bag. No political party aligns completely with kingdom interests, values, and priorities. When we develop a strong and sometimes blind adherence to a political party, that party can begin to shape our values.

Sadly, many are towing the party line rather than holding fast to the truth of scripture. They have abandoned the historic Christian view on war, wealth, poverty, ethnicity, sexuality, or something else…and we don’t even know it. They have allowed a party platform, rather than the Holy Spirit, to shape their views.

Because we agree with a party on issue X, we blindly assume that party must also be right on issue Y. This is a dangerous and harmful assumption.

Sadly the world is currently filled with anger and division. That’s because the partisan spirit is a spirit of division. When we have a strong and sometimes blind adherence to a particular side, we tend to assume everyone on the other side is foolish, evil, or both. We do not see political opponents as people to listen to, understand, empathize with, and love. No, we see them as enemies to silence and defeat. As Christians, we go so far as to doubt someone can truly be a Christian if they vote for the other party.

Partisanship often becomes so severe that fear and hatred of the other side becomes a test of camaraderie. The question we implicitly ask friends and family is not just, “Do you share my convictions?” but rather, “Do you share my outrage?” If someone is not as angry and upset as we are, that person becomes suspect in our eyes. Perhaps they aren’t one of us if they do not share our anger and outrage.

That sort of angry, fearful, and outraged partisanship is not only dividing us from our neighbors, but also from our brothers and sisters in Christ. It ought to be obvious how many Christian principles this violates: “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. (Luke 6:27), “But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” (Colossians 3:8), or Titus 3:2 which states “to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.”

Our neighbors are not our enemies. The devil is our enemy (Ephesians 6:11-12). Our neighbors are not issues to be solved, opponents to defeat, or enemies to be conquered. They are people to be loved and cared for. Even when we strongly disagree with them, even when they are far from God, they are people to be loved.

Pride and double standards can create even further division. Strategically, it makes sense to exaggerate the faults, shortcomings of the other team, while minimizing our own. We see this all the time in partisan politics. There is moral outrage over something said or done in the party across the aisle but complete silence or excuses when the same thing happens on our side of the aisle.

On both ends of the political spectrum, people demand the impeachment and even imprisonment of politicians for unethical behavior. However, when one of our own is caught doing the same thing, we rally around them in solidarity and support. If someone objects, “Isn’t this just like when so-and-so did this?” we question that person’s loyalty. “Whose side are you on anyway?” we ask defensively.

Criticism of our side is not allowed. We are afraid it will give ammunition to the folks across the aisle. So, regardless of what our political tribe does, we think we must remain loyal.

This sort of behavior bleeds over into other areas of our lives and leads to a twisted form of Christianity. It leads us to ignore the logs in our eyes and search for the specks in the eyes of others. Of course, this is the opposite of what Jesus taught us to do (Matthew 7:1-5).

Partisan politics teaches us to think like the Pharisee in Jesus’ parable, “God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector” (Luke 18:11). What if we replaced “tax collector” with a modern political term? Do we pride ourselves that we are not like those across the aisle?

There can be a time to criticize, but as Christians we should begin with ourselves and not our “opponents.” We should be working on our own faults instead of pointing fingers at others.


As I shared in the beginning, none of this is to say a Christian shouldn’t vote, support a particular candidate, be passionate about certain issues, or even prefer one party over another. However, this is a reminder about loyalty because it’s too easy to fall into partisan politics.

We must all be aware that there is a danger when we give our allegiance to a particular group or person. Our values, priorities, and perspectives will be shaped by that allegiance. We can fool ourselves into believing that we “think for ourselves.” However, like it or not, we are social creatures and we are shaped by our group loyalty.

As Christians, our loyalty and allegiance should belong to God. We must remember that our true family or tribe is much bigger than America, political party, ethnic group, or ideological views. The things of this world will always be competing for our loyalty, but we must resist those temptations.

On several occasions, the apostles rebuked partisanship in the first-century church. The answer to partisanship is Paul’s words to the Galatian churches, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28).

So let’s walk into this political season with our eyes fixed on love, serving others and keeping our eyes on the real prize. A Heavenly reward. ~OC

What Do You See?

Today’s a new day!

What do you see in the world around you? Broken hearts, broken souls, or even lives that seem lost forever?  Some say they will never change or they aren’t worth it.

So here’s my question… If we see these things and don’t reach out with compassion and love to help their situation, are we saying they don’t matter?

Maybe we are saying it’s not my problem, or someone else will handle it. Seeing the world today makes me wonder, are we truly seeing all these things but our hearts are blind to caring for others through compassion, sharing God’s love and reaching out to see what we may do to ease the pain?

Now for those of you thinking, I understand some folks don’t want or can’t expect help.  But what about the ones who want help but don’t reach out because of judgement?  How about sharing with them that God never wants our perfect plans, He wants us the imperfect us. 

He wants my heart open to give someone hope and to show them love and joy through Him.  God’s heart beats for the broken.  If we cling to the Spirit of God, we will begin to see it is not by sight, nor by might, but by the Spirit of God.

Open your heart to those hurting and lost; show them how God loves them today, yesterday and in the days to come. He will stop at nothing to hear our broken cries. 

So I ask you to close your eyes right now, so your heart can see again.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

I pray your day is filled with amazing moments and God’s blessings. ~OC

Be Kind

Today’s a new day! BE KIND, OR BE QUIET.

This is a Kindergarten rule, you guys. It’s the most basic of the basics. Either choose your words with kindness, or keep your mouth shut and just listen.
Fear and anger and hate are already running high, friends. There is no room for more.

And honestly, there should be no room for any of it. Not within the body of Christ. As Christians, our hope does not lie in the law of the land. Our hope lies in Jesus, his crucifixion and his resurrection. This is a hope that is firm and secure, an anchor for our souls. Is not this the hope that we should be sharing with everyone we come in contact with? Regardless of religious, social, economic or political differences.

Instead of arguing with one another, I suggest we focus our efforts on something that actually furthers the Gospel of Christ.

*We love our neighbor by baking cookies, inviting them over for a meal, or stopping to talk with them in the yard, and get to know them better.

*We serve our communities by offering our time and our gifts.

*We listen, we watch, we pray, and then we reach out in kindness and love.

*We immerse ourselves in the Word of God so that we can grow in knowledge and discernment.

*We treat all people with love and respect.

*We remember that life is not all about us.

*And for goodness sakes be kind. Or just keep our sweet mouths shut.

And all God’s people said…Amen. ~OC

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