Tag: Choice

It’s Time to Grow Up

Today’s a new day! Imagine your 18 year old daughter is a college freshman and all the sudden her life is blown up by a viscous, nasty and false rumor. To all my dads out there, how would you react if Mary Kate Cornett was your daughter?

That is the real life nightmare a father, his daughter and their family are currently living out at Ole Miss University because of some immature men (if you want to call them men), who have sports talk shows decided to run with a story without checking any facts, evidence or getting some clarification regarding this horrific situation. All because they have a national tv/radio show. One of these sad individuals is a leading figure at ESPN.

One of the many sad things about this case as I read the articles and responses, is how so many men and some women are defending not the victim in this case, but the childish men who decided to spread this hate without ever checking to see if was true. I am purposely not mentioning the tv/radio host involved in this case because the focus should be on the victim, not the perpetrators of this hate.

Why is it that some men feel like it’s okay to degrade a woman without even blinking an eye? I grew up playing sports and spent plenty of time in locker rooms. Some of the conversations were not PG or even PG-13. But guess what? Most of the boys grew up and became men who realized those conversations were juvenile and disrespectful. Sadly, some boys never learned that lesson and continue to treat women and anyone they feel is less than like second class citizens. And what’s even worse is that major corporations like ESPN give them millions of dollars and a license to continue acting like middle school boys.

I have been praying for Miss Cornett and her family. Her parents and grandfather have been harassed by a group of people emboldened by the talk show/radio host they listen to daily. Miss Cornett and her family are thinking about bringing a lawsuit against all the immature boys and the companies they work for. I say, go for it! Hold them and the companies they work for accountable for the pain and suffering they have caused you.

Maybe, just maybe these boys will grow up someday. None of the individuals who helped spread these rumors have even apologized to this young lady or her family. No, they keep raking in the ratings and the money while Miss Cornett has to hideout and take her classes online for safety concerns. I will ask again, men what if Miss Cornett was your daughter? ~OC

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Uniquely Created

Today’s a new day! Stop comparing your gifts and talents to someone else’s—God designed you with purpose. You are uniquely equipped to make a difference just as you are. Embrace the gifts God has given you and remember: you’re a one-of-a-kind original, called and empowered for His purpose. Stay in your lane and run the race God designed just for you. Have a great day! ~OC

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Still Standing and Thankful

Today’s a new day! I don’t like being in pain and I don’t like having multiple health issues that will probably shorten my life. I would love to grow old with my bride. But I realize that may not be the plans God has for my life. But I know and I trust that He is faithful. God’s plans are the best and do not revolve around me. Acts 13:36 says, “when David had served God’s purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep”. When God has done what he wants through me, I will step into heaven in his perfect timing.

Why has God allowed me to walk this health journey? Maybe it is to help me be a better husband and friend. Maybe it’s an opportunity to share the love of Jesus with more people. Maybe it’s for reasons way beyond my understanding. All I know is that God has given me this gift of health issues to use for his glory. All I know is that I will continue to trust and serve him.

Sometimes it is still hard to comprehend that my life could end at any moment. But isn’t that the case for all of us? As the Bible teaches,

All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of the Lord stands forever. (1 Peter 1:24)

When I received my first diagnosis in August 2002, it was a total shock. I knew I didn’t feel great, but I had no idea how I was so sick. My life at that time involved being a husband, a social worker and volunteer at multiple ministries.

Back then, some doctors shared I might only have five years to live. However, God had other ideas and even though my health journey has been full of twist and turns and multiple life threatening illnesses, I am still standing. Some days my life has felt like a ticking time bomb. My bride has become an expert in dealing with multiple infections,various types of devices being surgically implanted into my body and various treatments to just keep me alive.

As the multiple health issues continue to weaken my body, I am thankfully aware that Jesus is my Lord and Savior in whom I can depend, and that all other ground is sinking sand. I am so grateful to God for everything. I am thankful for who God is, his majesty, his splendour, and his promises. I am thankful for my bride, family, friends and life. I am so thankful to God for the resurrection of Jesus which means I will have victory over death and do not need to fear what my future holds. It is such a comfort to read,

“Death has been swallowed up in victory”
  “Where, O death, is your victory?
  Where, O death, is your sting?”
The sting of death is sin and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God. He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:54-56)

As my body grows weaker, I am thankful God continues to allow me to truly embrace life. To continue making beautiful memories with my bride. Some dear friends even bought me an electric trike to get around town. Watch out world! I will enjoy the new bike in between my many naps. After years of not being able to sleep, most of my days now involve sleeping most of the day.

What can be hard is coping with chronic pain and deteriorating health while still navigating the physical and emotional challenges of trying to live a “normal life.” Another challenge is not knowing what each day might bring. It is impossible to make plans. Between multiple medical appointments and hospitalizations, it can be difficult to make any plans.

However, I am just so thankful for God’s guidance through his word. The Bible is so clear about what God wants me to do now, even as I grow weaker: “Be joyful always; pray continuously; give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thess 5:16). God is so clear. This is what God wants me to do now. I am thankful he continues to allow me to live an amazing life.

So, I will continue to thank God for this gift of health issues because he is good and he is using it for his purposes. The plans of the Lord are perfect, even if I do not always know the reasons I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey. All I know is that someday, I will be in the loving presence of Jesus. But until then, I will continue to live life and embrace every moment. If you see me out and about on my trike, stop and say hello. Oh, and wake me up if I happen to be asleep. ~OC

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A Peacemaker

Today’s a new day! Would you consider yourself a peacemaker? Or maybe an aspiring peacemaker? Let’s talk about truly becoming a peacemaker.

First we must look at the difference between a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. There is a big difference. A peacekeeper dodges conflict, while a peacemaker creates peace through action. It’s about actively pursuing peace, not just avoiding conflict.

Steps to becoming a Peacemaker: We must cultivate the Fruit of the Spirit by tending to the garden within our soul. As each fruit blossoms, the transformation into a peacemaker becomes increasingly evident. 

Peacemakers follow a heavenly blueprint – The Fruit of the Spirit.

*Love – The journey to becoming a peacemaker starts with love. Not the mushy kind we see in a Hollywood Romcom, but the enduring, selfless love that the Spirit plants in our hearts. Cultivate this love by surrendering to Jesus daily. Let His love fill us, making it the driving force behind our pursuit of peace

*Joy – Peacemaking isn’t a cheerless task; it’s an adventure filled with joy. Seek joy in the process of reconciliation. Find delight in seeing broken relationships mended. Joy is the fuel that propels us to actively engage in conflict, knowing that the end result is worth the effort.

*Peace – Before extending peace to others, let it rule in our own heart. As we reflect on Philippians 4:7, we see God’s promises that His peace, surpasses understanding and guards our hearts. We have to make the decision to surrender our worries to Him and let His peace reign within. We must embrace the truth that God’s peace is eternal and not dependent on external circumstances.

*Patience – Peacemaking is a process, and patience is a virtue we must hold onto. Understand that conflicts may escalate before we experience a resolution. We must plant seeds of peace, and be patient as God orchestrates growth in His time. A harvest of reconciliation is sown in patience, trusting God’s timing. Peacemaking is usually a marathon, not a sprint.

*Kindness – Peacemakers wield the tool of kindness. Actively listen, understanding the perspectives of those in conflict. We must be kind in our response, even when disagreements arise. Kindness bridges gaps and creates an environment where reconciliation can flourish.

*Goodness – We must stand firm in goodness as we navigate conflicts. Uphold moral excellence, seeking God’s truth before diving into the messy work of peacemaking. Goodness ensures that our efforts align with the principles of righteousness found in God’s Word.

*Faithfulness – Peacemakers are faithful in their commitment to reconciliation. Standing by those in conflict, supporting them through the journey. We must be faithful to God’s truth, allowing it to guide our actions as we actively pursue peace.

*Gentleness – Picture a peacemaker as a gentle boat captain navigating through turbulent waters. Be slow to speak, quick to listen, and respond gently. Disarm hostility with grace, creating an atmosphere where reconciliation can thrive.

*Self-Control – Finally, self-control is the steering wheel of peacemaking. In the heat of conflict, we must exercise self-control. We must resist impulsive reactions, and let the Holy Spirit guide our responses. Self-control ensures that our actions align with the path of peace.

A Peacemaker acts like a gardener tending their garden. Let me explain.

Love serves as the fertile soil, nourishing the roots of empathy and compassion.

Joy becomes the sunlight, infusing our spirit with positivity and resilience amidst conflicts.

Peace, the central fruit, exhales as a vibrant bloom, calming the storms within and radiating tranquility to those around us.

Patience acts as the steady hands pruning away haste, allowing relationships to flourish in their own time.

Kindness and goodness become the petals, adorning our character with grace and moral excellence.

Faithfulness is the sturdy stem anchoring our commitment to reconciliation.

Gentleness unfolds as the delicate touch, smoothing over rough edges and fostering understanding.

Finally, self-control acts as the vigilant gardener, ensuring that our responses align with the path of peace. In this transformative process, the Fruit of the Spirit becomes the essence of our peacemaking journey, blossoming into a radiant garden of harmony and unity.

So there you have it: The Fruit of the Spirit as the blueprint for becoming a peacemaker. Let love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control be the seeds we plant in the garden of conflict, trusting God to bring forth a harvest of peace. May our journey be fruitful, and our efforts bring glory to the ultimate Peacemaker…Jesus.

Let me finish with a simple prayer:

Dear God, We come to you today asking for your guidance on our journey towards becoming a peacemaker rather than a peacekeeper. Help us grow in the Fruit of the Spirit so that we can actively contribute to creating lasting harmony. Fill our hearts with a love that seeks reconciliation and understanding.

We pray for your strength, wisdom, and grace as we navigate the path of peace. Guide our thoughts, words and actions. May they come from you. Amen. ~OC

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The Church

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk out my faith, sometimes I get a little confused. The following is not a knock on the Church. I personally love the Church. The following is just some of my thoughts and concerns.

Growing up, the Church taught me to love my neighbors, to model the life of Jesus. To be kind and considerate, and to stand up for the bullied and marginalized.

The Church taught me to love people, consider others as more important than myself. “Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight.” We sang it together, lifting our hands and singing that chorus at the top of our lungs.

The Church taught me to love my enemies, to even do good to those who wish to do me harm.

The Church taught me to never hate anyone and to always find ways to love and encourage everyone I come in contact with.

The Church taught me it’s better to give than to receive, to be last instead of first.

The Church taught me that money doesn’t bring happiness and can sometimes even lead to evil, but taking care of the needs of others brings great joy and life to the soul.

The Church taught me that Jesus looks at what I do for the least-of-these as the true reflection of my faith and character.

The Church taught me to focus on my own sin instead of trying to police it in others.

The Church taught me to be accepting and forgiving.

I paid attention.

I took notes.

I took in every lesson.

And I did what I was taught.

But now, so many churches and Christians call me a liberal.

A snowflake.

You call me “woke” without even knowing the true meaning of the word.

You call me a backslider.

You call me a heretic.

You call me a confused believer.

You tell me my beliefs are probably the reason I am sick. Yes, I have been told that on many occasions.

When the Church passed out the “WWJD” (What Would Jesus Do) bracelets back in the day, I wore mine proudly.

I took the meaning to heart.

I thought the Church did too. Apparently not all churches.

Because sadly in 2025, it appears lines of division have been drawn in the sand. Sadly, so many in the Church have such disdain for nearly all the people I was taught to love. So many in the Church stand against nearly all the things I was taught to believe in. I am trying to see a way forward, but it is getting hard when I survey all the hurt, harm, and darkness that I see coming from so many Churches and Ministries in this season.

So dear Church, what am I supposed to do with all these questions and concerns?

I truly believe what I read in the scriptures. Especially those red letter parts.

And today, I still believe everything I have read in the scriptures. I lean into all of those truths. The words and promises of Jesus keep my faith strong, when it would be so much easier to throw my hands up and walk away from it all. But I will never allow anyone or anything to steal my faith in Jesus.

Which leaves me wondering, what happened to so many of the churches and ministries in America? So many seem to have lost their way.

Thankfully grace is brave. So I will make the choice to be brave and keep leaning into the beautiful truths of God. ~OC

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Life With Chronic Illness

Today’s a new day! What do you do when you don’t get better?”

I became chronically sick twenty-three years ago, after being diagnosed with several types of crippling arthritis. It would be a year later after taking many experimental medications, that I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Then over the years, I would be be diagnosed with the following: Young Onset Parkinson’s, Myasthenia Gravis, Gastroparesis, Covid Long-Hauler, Complex Headaches, and recently Early Onset Dementia. Oh, and a stroke several years ago. It truly has been a crazy beautiful health journey.

I became a Christian when I was ten years old. I will be the first to admit, I did not always live the Christian life in my early teenage years. When I first became ill, some people in the Christian community began to weaponize their faith against me. They would say that I wasn’t faithful enough, or that I must have some type of unresolved sin in my life. Sadly all these years later, I still have some Christians screaming that in my ear on a weekly basis. At times over the years, I felt judged and disliked by many in the Christian community. That is never how Christianity, or any faith, should be. For me, it wasn’t just what conversations were being had—but also how.

The sad part is that the people who wanted me to not lose faith tried to make it harder to connect with God and other Christians. Some people over the years have made the excuses, “Well they mean well.” I truly do not believe that. I believe it actually shows their true heart. I am thankful that during this crazy beautiful health journey, God has surrounded me with some amazing people who have helped me through this difficult season. I am also thankful I have never lost my faith during this journey.

As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, my goal is to not allow those negative voices to have any influence on my life. I also decided early on in my health journey to help others walking through their own health journey.

I share all this because I know that I’m not alone, and I want others to know that they aren’t either. When you’re feeling attacked, beaten up, remember that God loves and is with you. I am sorry if anyone has made you feel like that isn’t the case. What people believe is their choice, but no one has the right to weaponize their faith. That sort of human hurt harms those in the disabled/chronically ill community that may be struggling with their faith.

In Isaiah 54:10 we read, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the LORD, who has compassion on you.” Being chronically ill can very much feel as if everything is being shaken up and changed—at least that’s how I have felt at times over the years.

I no longer know what each day will feel like, physically, let alone have a clue about what I may be able to do in the future. But God’s love doesn’t change when we are in tough situations (or any situation.) He is still with us. He knows the truth of our situation and still loves us.

Some passages that resonated with me, and may be appreciated by those reading this post, are those about us being fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139: 13- 14), Psalm 86-15, and Ephesians 1:5-6. That is about YOU. You are loved beyond words. Think about John 3:16. That’s not just for the able bodied and minded, it’s for ALL of us.

If you can relate to anything I have written, the following are a few things that have helped me. Just remember this journey is different for everyone.

*Don’t bottle things up. I encourage everyone to find a trusted friend, pastor, counselor or support group to share your feelings with. It may be difficult at first, but I promise you’ll be glad you did.

*Take this current season of life slowly. Remember, life is a marathon not a sprint.

*Do not give up on the Christian community or the Church based on some misguided people. Remember, there are no perfect people or churches.

*Find out what works for you in your journey with health issues and your walk with God. One size doesn’t fit us all.

*Spend time in the Bible and listening to worship music. Both have helped bring peace and clarity to my life during my health journey.

* Remember, sometimes God does not give us quick answers to our prayer request. I encourage you to embrace the lessons God is trying to teach you during this difficult season. All of us whether healthy or chronically ill have a different journey. If chronic illness is currently part of journey, you are just as worthy as anyone else. Please embrace that truth today.

I hope and pray this post will encourage and challenge everyone who has taken the time to read it. Thank you! ~OC

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My Why

Good Morning! Here is another “Lost Writings from OC.” This was written in 2020.

Today’s a new day! Writing has been part of my crazy beautiful health journey. Writing has allowed me to see life in a different way and experience healing in many parts of my life. Writing has allowed me to experience the following:

God has put me on this earth to love and serve others. To encourage others. To hopefully inspire people to think about their own life journey.

God created me to truly experience life. To embrace the good…and bad moments of this journey. I am here to learn. Just a little advice, we should never stop learning.

I am here to overcome my physical limitations. I am here to transform inspiration into action.

I believe in living a peaceful life. Peace within myself. Peace with those I have disagreements with.

I no longer expect or demand to be understood. I understand myself. Most importantly, God understands me and still chooses to love me.

I am not alone when I connect with God and the amazing people He has put in my life. Those relationships fuel me.

I ache and grieve alongside the pain and suffering of others. I empathize with those who suffer.

I seek to overcome suffering by finding its meaning, purpose and lessons.

I no longer force my beliefs on others. I choose to show respect to those with different views, opinions and beliefs.

I choose not to be selfish. I love sharing and helping others. Serving others helps me experience God’s love in a meaningful and real way.

I choose to let God write my story, even though there are times I want to steal the pen.

I choose to be awake. To be present. I am called. I feel God’s presence within me. I can truly be me because He lives in me. ~OC

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It’s Time

Today’s a new day! As we continue to celebrate Black History Month, I wanted to share the following with you. ~OC

Today, It’s our calling to support our friends, colleagues, and family members and to stand against senseless acts of violence and systemic racism. We need each other now more than ever if this nation is to ever truly move forward and heal the broken systems established years ago.

It’s time we stand in solidarity as individuals and communities to change a system that has been filled with racism for way too long.

It’s time we educate ourselves.

It’s time we change our broken systems.

It’s time we respect our black brothers, sisters, and People of Color.

It’s time we demand equal rights for all.

It’s time we allow the destruction for powerful reform to take place.

It’s time to accept and respect each other regardless of our differences.

It’s time we stopped using hate to conquer hate.

It’s time we truly love our black brothers and sisters. And not just for the month of February.

It’s time we bring real change to America and beyond.

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I Can…

Good Morning! Here is another “Lost Writings of OC.” I originally wrote this in 2018. Have a wonderful day.

Today’s a new day! There are a lot of things I cannot control in this world, but there is plenty I can do…

I can choose to pray for people.

I can choose to help feed and shelter the homeless.

I can choose how I treat people.

I can choose to be a mentor.

I can choose to show kindness to everyone I come in contact with.

I can choose to show respect to everyone around me.

I can choose not to judge people.

I can choose not to hate.

I can choose to Love.

There is plenty we can choose to do to help make this a better world. ~OC

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