My Life With Dementia

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have always wanted to be upfront and honest when sharing my journey with you. So this morning, I want to share a post I have been working on for several weeks. It’s my life with dementia. I apologize in advance for the long post.

When I was diagnosed with young onset dementia last year, part of me thought there has to be a mistake, but it was also a relief to have some answers on why my life seemed a little out of focus. But it was still hard to hear “you have dementia.” Like so many people diagnosed with young-onset dementia, I was still planning a future with my bride. How was dementia showing up in my 50’s?

But here I am, almost a year later.

What I have learned is a dementia diagnosis isn’t the end of life. It just means life looks a little different.

Of course my life has looked a little different for the last twenty-three years dealing with multiple health issues. But over the last two decades, my faith and life experiences have taught me it’s possible to live a fulfilling, purposeful, and even joyful life even while dealing with the uncertainty of declining health. A diagnosis of dementia was not going to change that. At least I hope and pray that will be the case.

So as I walk out this journey called dementia, I wanted to share a few things that are working for me. This is not a neat how to live with dementia list, because dementia is not an easy follow these instructions and everything will be okay disease. No, dementia is a unpredictable roller coaster ride. Every day brings new challenges, but also new opportunities.

My hope and prayer is that this blog post will help create conversations. If you’re living with dementia, or supporting someone who is, I hope these tools help you live a full life regardless of the diagnosis.

My Dementia Toolbox:

I choose to live each day with Hope and Purpose.

I choose to live a life full of new adventures. Never stop making memories with family and friends.

I choose to maintain my independence as long as possible.

I choose to continue connecting with family and friends.

I choose to adapt to the changes dementia brings and never give up.

I choose to hold onto my identity and what makes me “me.”

I choose to keep learning new things each day.

I choose to live out my life and faith.

I choose not to avoid the declines that dementia brings, but to make the most out of every day and refuse to let dementia silence me.

Finally, living with dementia is not an easy journey. There are moments of loss and frustration, but there are also unexpected discoveries, laughs, and the good will of family and friends. ~OC

Right to Left

Today’s a new day! The Challenge for the Day:

Hurry kills presence.

Worry kills peace.

Doubt kills faith.

Ego kills love.

Now read that right to left.

Have a great day! Look for an opportunity encourage someone today. ~OC

No Limitations

Today’s a new day! As most of you know, I am using a walker these days to assist me getting around. The last two weeks were tough, as I went through multiple test and treatments at the hospital. As I was sitting here thinking about everything that’s been going on with my health the last few weeks, I had to stop and give God praise. You see, the enemy thought he got the best of me because of my limited ability to get around and having to deal with two weeks in the hospital. But the truth is, my limited ability to be get around does not effect my ability to continue serving God. Never allow the enemy or anyone else to shackle you with their limitations. Keep your eyes focused on God and finish strong. ~OC

A Call

Today’s a new day! As I watch tv or scroll through social media, I see so such suffering and injustice. And sadly, I see so many Christians adding to that suffering and injustice. It breaks my heart. More importantly, it breaks God’s heart. During those moments I reflect on the following verse:

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.” ~Proverbs 31:8-9

As I reflect on those verses, I am thankful that God is different and He desires for those who call Him Father to be radically different.

God loves with a love far greater than any of us could truly ever imagine. He feels our pain and disappointments more deeply than we ever could. God will never force Himself on those who choose to live their lives without Him, even though He longs for those who are hurt and broken to take His hand. But He respects our choices.

But for those who choose to call on His name and call themselves Christians, God expects us to be a reflection of His character. To truly live out the words from Proverbs 31:8-9.

As I reflect on those words, am I truly living out those commands?

In a time where political power seems more important than the Gospel to so many American Christians, is the Christian community any different than the world so many of them like to judge?

As Christian, are we fighting against injustice? Are we speaking up for those with no voice? Are we taking the time to help the helpless? Are we truly seeking justice for those in need or just praying about it? Are we even attempting to be the hands and feet of Jesus?

As I pray and look around, I wonder why so many Christians appear to be just paying lip-service while ignoring the plight of those suffering in America and around the world. Why so many spend more time justifying ungodly prejudices against “others” than helping them. Why are so many American Christians so focused on what makes them comfortable and happy that they turn a blind eye to the suffering of those outside of their safe little bubble? Why are so many Christians walking through life ignoring the scriptures that command us to fight for justice and to love all of our neighbors?

Jesus shared the following warning in Matthew 7:21. “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter.”

I hope and pray that you do not see this as an attack on American Christianity, but instead a wake up call for Christians in America to step up and actually live out their faith and the scriptures that call us to be loving and radically different.

As I close, I want to pose the following question to my Christian brothers and sisters: Are you breaking God’s heart by calling yourself His child, but refusing to live a life of serving those in need and fighting for justice?

I know I for one, can and must do better. ~OC

A Flicker

Today’s a new day! As this crazy beautiful health journey gets a little tougher each day, I want to take some time to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. The following has been written over a series of weeks and months. I hope it brings a time of reflection as you walk out your own journey.

  • Do not waste your time on things that you don’t enjoy. I have learned it’s hard to succeed in something that you don’t like. Patience, passion, and dedication come more easily when you love what you do.
  • Do not be concerned over other people’s opinions. Being caught up in others opinions can weaken and paralyze you. If you let it, it can grow worse and worse every day until there is nothing left of you, but a empty shell of yourself. Listen to God’s voice and go with it. Some people may call you crazy, but many may be encouraged by your choices.
  • Do not allow any person or situation to control your life. Take full responsibility for your actions. Limit bad habits and try to lead a healthier lifestyle. Find a hobby that makes you happy. Most of all, do not procrastinate. Make the most of each day. Let your life be shaped by the decisions you make not by the ones you didn’t.
  • Do not be so busy, that life slips past you. Appreciate the people around you. May your friends and family always be a source of strength and love. Never take them for granted.

It is difficult for me to fully express my feelings about the importance of these simple realizations, but I hope that you will listen to someone who has experienced how valuable time is.

I am not upset or scared about what lies ahead because this health journey has helped bring meaning and purpose to my life. Each day is a beautiful gift to be celebrated. So every day, I take some time to take it all in. Time is truly a beautiful gift.

As I continue to run this health journey, I have learned that everyone has potential. But potential means nothing without the courage to realize it. To believe that God has given each of us purpose in this life. To turn that purpose into amazing opportunities.

We can move through a life created by circumstances, missed moments and opportunities or we can strive for what we believe in and write the amazing story of our life. I hope you will make the right choice.

I pray you will leave a positive mark on this world. That your life will be filled with hope and meaning. Life is a beautiful playground, where dreams are possible. Yet, we are not here forever. Our life is a short spark in this beautiful world that flies by with incredible speed. So, live your life with meaning and passion. Embrace every moment. Make it spectacular. Make it count! ~OC

Judgement Free Life

Today’s a new day! Take time to listen to other people. People that do not look like, worship like, speak like or vote like you. Ask questions that help you know more about them. Listen with compassion. Hold back from judgement and seek understanding. When you are done listening, listen some more. Wait on God for guidance on how to respond to challenging situations and people. Dare to live a judgement free life. ~OC

Divine Insight

Today’s a new day! Our ability to judge others requires a divine insight that we simply do not have. So do everybody (including yourself) a huge favor:  Do not judge. ~OC

Stop Judging

Today’s a new day! If you’re ever tempted to judge another person and speak harshly of them, here are some sobering words from the Bible to ponder:

“No matter who you are, before you judge the wickedness of others, you had better remember this: you are also without excuse, for you too are guilty of the same kind of things! When you judge others, and then do the same things they do, you condemn yourself.” ~Romans‬ ‭2‬:‭1‬ ‭

Jesus was aware of other people’s shortcomings, but he didn’t stand as a self-righteous judge over them. Instead, He loved them in such a way that they strived to become better people. This is an ideal for all of us to strive for in a world that loves to pass judgment.

Shower your neighbor with love rather than self-righteous condemnation.

Shower your family and friends with understanding and compassion, rather than targeting them with resentment and anger.

Shower everyone you meet with goodwill and blessing that inspires them to be better people, rather than tearing down everything they do.

When we think badly of others, it reveals our own shortcomings. The best way to improve the world, is to start with improving our own state of thought. As we collectively love more and judge less, everyone will be better off. ~OC

Running On Empty

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings From OC.” This was written in May 2023 during a hospital stay.

As I was reading and studying scripture this morning, the following came to my mind.

The Question of the Day: Do you find yourself at times, spiritually running on empty?”

Speaking for myself, I can say most definitely that there have been times when I was so focused on my spiritual destination and what I needed to do to get there that I allowed my spiritual gas tank to run dry.

Let’s take a moment to break that statement down:

– To begin with, there are a lot of “I’s” and “my’s” in that sentence – almost always a sure sign of trouble.

– My focus was on “my spiritual destination” – not on God’s intentions for me in that moment.

– My priorities were based on “what I needed to do” – not on God’s priorities for me.

– My spiritual gas tank was empty because I had neglected it; in my out-of-focus focus, I had left out the ONE who should have my utmost attention.

The Word of God gives us a beautiful comparison of two sisters with differing priorities.

Martha had invited Jesus into her home – an invitation that likely included Jesus’ twelve disciples. Luke writes, she “welcomed” Jesus. She was happy and excited to have Jesus in her home, she loved Him and wanted to serve Him well. But her focus quickly shifted from Jesus to the task of preparing the food and caring for her guests. Joyful service turned to resentment when Martha saw her sister, Mary, sitting at Jesus feet listening to Him talk.

Martha was running on “Empty” as she tried to guilt and manipulate Jesus into shaming Mary into helping her serve. Jesus kindly, but firmly, put Martha in her place. “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.” (Luke 10:41-42)

Jesus told Martha that although she was stressed out over many things, she had missed the most important thing. Martha’s focus on the busyness of hosting and serving her guests had drained her spiritual tank and blurred her focus. She was operating on empty.

We can say and do foolish things when we are tired and running on empty.

– Martha’s efforts had depleted her spirit and left her empty.

– Martha’s joy had been replaced by irritation and frustration.

– Her sincere desire to serve had been replaced by feelings of resentment.

Then Jesus spoke words that convicted Martha deeply and likely changed her perspective forever, “Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Jesus was saying that Mary had made the best choice – she had chosen Him. (Luke 10:42)

“The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.” Psalm 16:5

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26

“The LORD is my portion; I promise to keep Your words.” Psalm 119:57

Right now is a beautiful time of the year: a time to celebrate graduations, vacations and more time to hang out with family and friends. It’s also a time to run ourselves ragged – decorating, shopping, stressing about everything we need to get done before we can rest and enjoy the moment. If we are not careful, we will find ourselves running on EMPTY.

Not just Energy Empty…Spiritually Empty.

How can we keep our spiritual tank filled?

– Remember the focus is on God’s Love and His Ultimate Gift to Mankind (Don’t focus on yourself)

– Follow God in the moment (Don’t over plan and obsess on the details)

– Make God’s priorities yours (Don’t neglect your daily devotions and prayer time, keep first things first)

– Choose Jesus, He is your best choice – your perfect portion

The amazing thing is this, when we choose God as our focus, we will be filled, and we will stay full.

“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”
‭‭(Ephesians‬ ‭3‬:‭14‬-‭21‬)

Finally, I encourage us all to spend more time enjoying the journey and less time stressing about the outcome. ~OC

Good Friday: Through A Different Set Of Eyes

Today’s a new day! On this Good Friday, let us take the time to reflect on Jesus and the Cross. I want to look at it through a different set of eyes. ~OC

On this Friday, my final moments took place on a hill at Golgotha – referred to as the place of the skull. On this day, I am surrounded by pain, some people who are angry, while others are filled with sadness. Death is in the air. I could have never imagined through all this pain and misery, everything would change for me. This place designed for death, would turn into a place of life for me.

My journey is pretty typical. I learned how to pray. I learned God’s word. I sat around and listened to the elders share from God’s word. I celebrated all the religious traditions. But as I look back, I was just going through the motions. As I grew older, I eventually left the faith of my parents. As soon as I was old enough, I left home with a little money my father gave me and never went back.

I recall the first time I ever heard this man named Jesus teach. He was sharing a story to the crowd that was assembled and it sounded like he was talking about me. This man Jesus was talking about a young man who left home with the inheritance from his father to go live his life. This young man ended up making some poor choices and longed for the days of his childhood home. This was story! How could this teacher know my story?

Then this teacher continues to tell how this lost son returned home to his father. But did the father tell the returning son, I told you so? Did this father reject his son? No, as the father saw the son approaching from a distance, he ran to him, embraced him, loved on him and celebrated his return.

But that wasn’t my story. I never could or would return home. I was positive my father would never take me back. And God was certainly angry with me. I had sinned way too much. When the money my father gave me was all gone, I started stealing. Stealing led to other poor choices. I was pretty good at stealing and rarely got caught. On those rare occasions I did get caught, I would promise myself I would never do that again. Until I did. I wanted to change, but I always ended up going back to what I knew. Doing what I needed to do to survive.

My heart became harder. I didn’t care who I hurt. I did not listen to anyone. I was my own man.

I remember the second time I saw this man named Jesus. We both were in Jericho and I witnessed him meeting Zacchaeus. Everyone in Jericho knew and hated Zacchaeus. He was a tax collector who cheated anyone and everyone he could. I watched Jesus carefully from the shadows. No telling what Jesus would do to someone like Zacchaeus. But I knew that whatever Jesus said and did to him, I deserved the same as Zacchaeus – but even worse.

I was blown away when Jesus spoke to Zacchaues and actually broke bread with this evil man. Jesus had to know all the terrible things Zacchaeus had done. Every one did. But then something happened that I could not believe. After spending time with Jesus, Zacchaeus promised to give back everything he had stolen and cheated people out of – times four! What? And then Jesus spoke the strangest thing. I remember it like it was yesterday because I have replayed his words everyday since…“Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Wait! What in the world is this Jesus guy talking about?

Salvation! Not punishment that Zacchaues deserved. Loving and forgiving the lost and broken instead condemning them. I tried my best to not think about it. There is no way Jesus would ever speak those words over me. Could he maybe? No, I was much worse than Zacchaeus.

I immediately left Jericho after seeing and hearing what Jesus had spoken to Zacchaeus. I wanted to get away from this man named Jesus. He confused me every time I stopped to hear him speak. As much as the words Jesus spoke brought me a sense of hope, I knew there was no hope for me. I had stolen, lied and hurt too many people. This was the life I had chosen for better or worse. I was a lost cause.

Not longer after seeing Jesus in Jericho, my luck ran out. I was arrested once again and this time hurt several people in the process. That’s how I was found guilty and sentenced to death a few days before Passover.

In a strange way I was relieved. I would never have to hear the stories and celebrate God rescuing “his people”out of Egypt and from slavery so many years ago ever again. I almost laughed that here I was sitting in jail, because I had become a slave to a life of stealing, lying and a host of poor choices.

As I sat in this dark, damp prison cell, the quietness of the moment was interrupted by the prisoner sitting across from me. At first I thought it was the ramblings of a drunk person, but then as I listened more closely the words this man was speaking became more clear. This man sitting across from me was repeating the words from Psalms over and over. All the sudden my thoughts went back to my days as a child and hearing my father speaking those same words over me and my brother.

But those words were not the only thing I recognized. It took me a few minutes, but I also recognized that voice crying out those words. It was so dark in that jail cell, but I did not need to see his face to know that this was the man they called Jesus. Just then several guards walked by and mocked Jesus. “So this is the King of the Jews” they laughed and continued walking.

In that moment, I remembered Jesus entering Jerusalem a few days earlier as people lined the streets and shouted “Hosanna, Hosanna!” The people talked about the miracles Jesus had performed. This prophet from Nazareth. In that moment I remembered the words I had heard Jesus speak in the past and how they had touched my cold heart.

Just then, I heard the guards coming my way. It was time. Time to carry my cross to the hill called Golgotha. Time to face the punishment I justly deserved. As I walked out of that jail, I was blinded by the bright morning light. Then two other prisoners were brought out carrying their own crosses. One was terribly bloodied from a horrible beating and wore a strange crown upon his head. He looked vaguely familiar, but his face was so badly beaten I could not be sure.

We began the long and brutal walk to Golgotha, surrounded by soldiers. The crowd that had gathered was shouting “Crucify him! Crucify the King of the Jews!!!

King of the Jews? That horribly disfigured face…the crown of thorns…the familiar voice….it was him. It was Jesus.

Finally, we arrived to Golgotha. It seemed like we had been walking for days, yet it was still early on this Friday morning. The other criminal and I were nailed to our crosses and placed on each side of Jesus. Two guilty men who deserved our fate and one innocent man, who did not deserve any of this. The sign above him read, “King of the Jews.”

The crowds passing by, mocking Jesus. “Save yourself! Come down off that cross. He saved others, but he cannot save himself. If he comes down, we will believe in him! If you are truly the son of God,come down from that cross!”

Even the other criminal who hung beside him joined in. “Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and save us.”

The crowd motioned that Jesus’ lips were moving, so I turned to listen. The words, “forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” flowed out of his mouth.

In that moment, I closed my eyes as Jesus spoke. His words once again pierced my heart. Forgiveness. That seemed to always be his message. Forgiveness. When I opened my eyes the sky had grown dark. How could that be? It was the middle of the day.

The crowd continued to mock Jesus. As I looked out over the crowd, I noticed a woman crying and looking up at Jesus. She was visibly distraught. I wondered if this grieving woman was Jesus’ mother.

In that moment, I was overwhelmed with emotion and reflecting on my life and all the pain I had caused my family and so many others, I turned to this innocent man next me and tearfully asked, “Jesus, please remember me when you come into your Kingdom.”

In that moment, this man who was so badly beaten turned to me with love in his eyes, and shared the following words , “I tell you the truth today, you will be with me in paradise.”

Tears streamed down my face. This man who knew all of my crimes and cruel deeds, had just shared words that would give me eternal life. I would experience no more pain or suffering. I did not deserve those words, but Jesus had nothing but love, compassion and forgiveness for me.

As I looked over to Jesus, still overwhelmed by his love for me, I heard him speak these final words, “It is finished,” Jesus cried out and then gave up his spirit.

“Surely this man was God’s son,” a nearby guard quickly cried out. Yes, I knew that statement to be true. And yes it was finished, at least for me. The years of brokenness, pain and despair had been replaced with joy. In that moment, I remembered those beautiful words Jesus had shared with me just a few minutes prior, “I tell you this today, you will be with me in paradise.” Amen.

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