Today’s a new day! As I wake up on this Christmas Eve, my thoughts turn to those walking through hard times this holiday season. On this day before Christmas, some are experiencing their first Christmas season with an empty chair at the table.
This year like so many, I have experienced the loss of loved ones.
The loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, sibling, niece, nephew, friend or the tragic loss of a child creates a hole begging to be filled and a seat at the table that will remain empty.
At times these precious family members may feel deserted. By God, by life, by family and friends who don’t know what to say, so they stay away.
So what do you do for someone who is grieving on what should be one of the merriest days of the year?
I pray the following helps.
1) Your presence and words matter
Saying I can’t imagine…
Nothing more. Nothing less. Those words embrace them, their loss, and their pain, showing you care. Deeply. And you are there, for them, with them, regardless of the pain it causes you to share in theirs.
When we add words after I can’t imagine, we are likely to add our own emotions, thoughts and feelings. Just simply acknowledge their feelings, pain and loss.
I can’t imagine…yet I care. Simply be with them.
2) Say the name of their lost loved one. Hearing the name of that precious person matters and makes a difference in the healing process. Avoiding speaking the name actually hurts everyone there, so share stories, cry and laugh as you recall the amazing life of a loved one.
So say their name…
3) Pull out the pictures! Sometimes the best gift and step to healing is going through old photos or videos. The gift of beautiful memories. Never letting their life be forgotten.
He comforts us. He heals the broken hearted. God is good, even when situations are not, God is. ~Psalm 56:8
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~Psalm 147:3
So pull up a chair to the table, set a plate and name card for the one who is no longer there and let the stories and memories flow.
Let us honor the ones who have simply gone before us to where we want to be when it’s our turn – dancing and praising in the presence of Jesus.
There is hope in the midst of the sadness. We will see our loved ones again and that is worth celebrating.
On this Christmas Eve, I am thankful God sent His one and only Son Jesus to pave the way for each one of us who love Him. Yes, we miss the ones who have gone before us and left their seat at our table empty, yet we celebrate they are in Heaven. Seated with Jesus at the Heavenly Christmas Table. ~OC
The Blessed Overcomer 