Life With Chronic Illness

Today’s a new day! What do you do when you don’t get better?”

I became chronically sick twenty-three years ago, after being diagnosed with several types of crippling arthritis. It would be a year later after taking many experimental medications, that I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Then over the years, I would be be diagnosed with the following: Young Onset Parkinson’s, Myasthenia Gravis, Gastroparesis, Covid Long-Hauler, Complex Headaches, and recently Early Onset Dementia. Oh, and a stroke several years ago. It truly has been a crazy beautiful health journey.

I became a Christian when I was ten years old. I will be the first to admit, I did not always live the Christian life in my early teenage years. When I first became ill, some people in the Christian community began to weaponize their faith against me. They would say that I wasn’t faithful enough, or that I must have some type of unresolved sin in my life. Sadly all these years later, I still have some Christians screaming that in my ear on a weekly basis. At times over the years, I felt judged and disliked by many in the Christian community. That is never how Christianity, or any faith, should be. For me, it wasn’t just what conversations were being had—but also how.

The sad part is that the people who wanted me to not lose faith tried to make it harder to connect with God and other Christians. Some people over the years have made the excuses, “Well they mean well.” I truly do not believe that. I believe it actually shows their true heart. I am thankful that during this crazy beautiful health journey, God has surrounded me with some amazing people who have helped me through this difficult season. I am also thankful I have never lost my faith during this journey.

As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, my goal is to not allow those negative voices to have any influence on my life. I also decided early on in my health journey to help others walking through their own health journey.

I share all this because I know that I’m not alone, and I want others to know that they aren’t either. When you’re feeling attacked, beaten up, remember that God loves and is with you. I am sorry if anyone has made you feel like that isn’t the case. What people believe is their choice, but no one has the right to weaponize their faith. That sort of human hurt harms those in the disabled/chronically ill community that may be struggling with their faith.

In Isaiah 54:10 we read, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the LORD, who has compassion on you.” Being chronically ill can very much feel as if everything is being shaken up and changed—at least that’s how I have felt at times over the years.

I no longer know what each day will feel like, physically, let alone have a clue about what I may be able to do in the future. But God’s love doesn’t change when we are in tough situations (or any situation.) He is still with us. He knows the truth of our situation and still loves us.

Some passages that resonated with me, and may be appreciated by those reading this post, are those about us being fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139: 13- 14), Psalm 86-15, and Ephesians 1:5-6. That is about YOU. You are loved beyond words. Think about John 3:16. That’s not just for the able bodied and minded, it’s for ALL of us.

If you can relate to anything I have written, the following are a few things that have helped me. Just remember this journey is different for everyone.

*Don’t bottle things up. I encourage everyone to find a trusted friend, pastor, counselor or support group to share your feelings with. It may be difficult at first, but I promise you’ll be glad you did.

*Take this current season of life slowly. Remember, life is a marathon not a sprint.

*Do not give up on the Christian community or the Church based on some misguided people. Remember, there are no perfect people or churches.

*Find out what works for you in your journey with health issues and your walk with God. One size doesn’t fit us all.

*Spend time in the Bible and listening to worship music. Both have helped bring peace and clarity to my life during my health journey.

* Remember, sometimes God does not give us quick answers to our prayer request. I encourage you to embrace the lessons God is trying to teach you during this difficult season. All of us whether healthy or chronically ill have a different journey. If chronic illness is currently part of journey, you are just as worthy as anyone else. Please embrace that truth today.

I hope and pray this post will encourage and challenge everyone who has taken the time to read it. Thank you! ~OC

Don’t Fall For The Lies

Today’s a new day! As a chronically ill Christian, the enemy often tries to sell me the following lie: “My illness and God’s goodness cannot coexist.”

Over the past twenty-two years, multiple life threatening health disease have been my “thorn.”  My body has been attacked on many fronts. Many times early on in my health battle, I remember trying to reconcile my suffering with God’s purpose.

As I pondered my place in God’s eyes, questions of doubt polluted my mind:

What did I do to deserve this illness?

If God actually loves me, why doesn’t he heal me?

How could a broken body fit into God’s plans?

By worldly standards, my value depended on what I could do, instead of what God already did.  For someone who has lived in and out of the hospital for the last two decades, a meaningful life might seem to be an unattainable dream.

Unrooted in God’s word, the presence of my health issues seemed to indicate an absence of His affection.

But friend, this thinking is simply unbiblical.  Let’s dispel this lie by replacing it with God’s truth and equip ourselves with biblical instruction for endurance.

Maybe you don’t struggle with a chronic illness, but we all struggle with chronic issues. Whether you’re dealing with multiple health issues, the scars of life that still plague your mind or the same addiction continues creeping into your life, God tells us that no trial can separate us from His Love. ~Romans 8:35

In fact, our trials might be the very tool God uses to strengthen our relationship with Him.  So, as we think about chronic illness, let’s redirect our thoughts from asking “what could I have done differently to prevent my health issues”, to instead asking, “God, how can you work through my current health issues?”

Two words come to mind when I consider how God can work through our challenges to refine our faith: Reliance and Glory.

1. RELIANCE – God can use our current life challenges to encourage us to rely more fully on Him.

For those struggling to understand why God allows hardship to ensue, the book of Job is a masterpiece written just for us. The Bible describes Job as a faithful man with many blessings.  To test whether Job will still praise God’s name even when his life crumbles, God allows the enemy to wreak havoc on Job’s life – striking his flesh and bones with sickness, infecting him with skin boils, and turning his family away (Job 1:4-9).  Job is not only chronically ill, but also chronically lonely, as his loved ones tell him to just give up and curse His Creator.

Let’s pause right here.  God allows the enemy to test Job.  Now, why would God do this? Among many reasons, God uses suffering as a tool to refine Job’s faith. God knows that it is in the valleys that we are encouraged to truly rely on Him.

Amid adversity, Job’s mind is a battlefield much like our own; his thoughts go between wanting God to leave Him alone and begging for God’s support.  In the end, through his wrestle with God, Job remains faithful that God’s promises are true. He trusts that God loves him in his struggles and is working all things together for good.

As we learn in Job, sometimes God allows for challenges, not to punish us, but to strengthen our relationship with Him.When storms arise, may we trust that God’s plans are purposeful.  This means that whether we are battling a seasonal cold or fighting for our lives after tragedy strikes, God’s loving hand is in everything.

2. HIS GLORY – The contrast of our weakness with His Power emphasizes our need for God.

In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul describes pleading with the Lord to remove a “thorn in his flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7).  In my own life, my “thorn” represents my health battle.

Jesus addresses Paul’s request by equipping him with endurance and explaining that his struggle has a purpose.  Jesus answers, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My Power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).  In this story, Paul’s struggle serves as a reminder of his inherent inadequacy to our all-powerful God, ultimately pointing to his need for a Savior.

Though God denies Paul’s request for healing, He assures him that His grace will help him endure.  Paul is not blessed with healing, but instead, with a more valuable and versatile blessing: the ability to see God’s light in the darkness of his valley.  God doesn’t leave us to dwell in our struggles, He helps us endure.

God’s response gives hope to those whose prayers seemingly go unanswered.  Next time you ask God to remove your “thorn”, may you remember that a lack of an answer is not evidence of a distant God.  God always responds to our requests; His responses just might differ from what we planned.  No matter the response, if we trust God with our lives, we can be sure that He is working for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

As we learn from Paul’s interaction with God, some of our wounds will only heal once we go home to Heaven, but we can trust that our struggles are a part of a beautiful redemption story.

Let’s look at another example of how God can work through our pain to reveal His Power.  In John 9, Jesus is walking around town with His disciples when they spot a man who is blind from birth.  Jesus’ disciples ask him a question that might sound like one you’ve asked yourself before: “who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” (John 9:2).  Sound familiar? The disciples mistakenly assume that this man’s disability is due to his personal sin.

Jesus corrects the disciples, responding, “neither this man nor his parents sinned…This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him” (John 9:3).  With this declaration, Jesus dispels the lie that the only purpose for our trials is punishment, and He communicates that our trials can be used to display God’s power.

Jesus then heals the blind man, confirming his belief and establishing an eternal relationship.

Before his healing, we can’t be sure of how this man’s disability affected his self-esteem, but he might have believed some of the same lies that often ravage our minds.  When measuring himself against societal standards, he very well could have attributed his disability to a distant God.  However, when Jesus enters the scene, it becomes clear that this man’s disability was the very tool God utilized to strengthen his relationship with Him. 

As we reflect on these stories, the Word illuminates God’s heart for the chronically ill: God has a purpose for our pain, His love does not waver, and He will work all things together for good, even the messy parts of our lives.

God does not promise to remove our thorns, but He does promise to help us endure.  Whatever your thorn looks like, may you remember that God provides a peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:6-7).

Throughout my battle with multiple health issues, medical mysteries, and shattered plans, one verse has sparked hope in my soul: “We do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:12).

Friend, however deep your thorns dig, may you never give up. Keep overcoming and finish strong. ~OC

A Day In The Life

Today’s a new day! Ever wondered what a day living with chronic illness and health challenges looks like? Today I will take you on a journey into the twist and turns of a day living with long-term health issues.

From the moment I wake up, I’m already facing barriers. My chronic illnesses make it difficult to get going. For those not aware, based on my health issues, I have slept in a recliner for about the past twenty years. It’s just too hard to get in and out of a bed. Every day is a balancing act where I have to be mindful of my energy levels and make sure that I’m taking time to rest. 

An Introduction To My Health Journey:

In 2002, I was diagnosed with multiple forms of arthritis. That year was filled with a lot of experimental treatments. Then in 2003, I was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully I was able to have surgery to remove the tumor and never had to walk through the struggle of chemo and radiation. Let’s speed things up. From 2007-2024, I have been diagnosed with Parkinson’s, Myasthenia Gravis, Gastroparesis, Type 2 Diabetes based on all the steroids, had a stroke, diagnosed with cluster headaches and just a few months ago was diagnosed with early onset dementia. That’s my rap sheet!

What My Night and Morning Looks Like :

Based on my neurological issues, I am up and down most of the night. So I never wake up feeling rested. I wake up stiff, so I need to move around and take a host of medications in the morning. Of course meds have side effects, so that can be difficult.

Since I deal with gastroparesis, eating has been a major issue for many years. That makes taking in fluids and food a huge and painful task. So every meal, every day is an adventure.

My mornings are dedicated to spending time with God, journaling and trying to exercise. For me, walking is the best type of exercise for me. I never know how many laps I will be able to get in. I have to be careful not to overdo it. If I do overdo it, my body will pay for it the rest of the day. I spend some time each day for reflecting on life and looking at how I can hopefully encourage others as I continue running this journey. These days, I tend to take a lot of short cat naps. Over the last year, the pain has increased, so that’s a daily struggle. Unfortunately, pain meds and gastroparesis do not really care for each other. So most days, I just live with the pain.

One thing I choose to do everyday is get dressed. I never lay around in my sleeping clothes. It makes me feel good to get cleaned up and get dressed.

My favorite part of any day is spending time with my bride and friends that choose to reach out. Spending time with loved ones is very important to me. I love sitting around and enjoying great conversations. Also, I try to read every day. My love for reading has been challenging the last few years, since it’s hard to stay concentrated. I also spend time listening to music each day. Music can make everything a little bit better.

In the evening, Laura and I like to talk about our day and possibly watch a little television. Based on my day, my bedtime varies. But since I sleep in my recliner, I can fall asleep anytime my body and brain allows me to. Every night is an adventure.

What I consider a daily self-care must do:

Writing about what I’m grateful for in my journal helps me remember the positives, even on those really hard days. Living with long-term health conditions can be exhausting and can be very negative if you allow it to get on top of you. 

Several people have asked if I had one day without pain and could step away from my health journey what would I do?

I would lace up my running shoes and go for a very long run. For those new to my journey, in my healthier days I was blessed to complete 350 marathons.

Another question people asked me a lot: Is there anything I would like to share about daily living with chronic illness and life challenges?

There’s a lot, but I do not want to make this post any longer than it already is. One of my hopes is, people will realise that we never know what someone else is really going through. So be kind and respectful. It doesn’t help when people tell me how I should be living out my health journey. Just be supportive and walk through this journey with me.

By sharing what my day to day life is like, I hope I can raise awareness of the bigger picture as people only see snippets of my journey online or see me on my best days in person. I am not sharing this for pity or sympathy and I am not complaining. I just want to give you some insight into this crazy beautiful health journey.

The Takeaway:

Writing about my day living with chronic health issues has been quite eye opening to me to see how much life has changed over the years. I have a strong need to celebrate the love and support I have received over the years from family and friends. Writing this post has let me see how faithful God has been to me, as I continue to run this beautiful journey.

I hope that you have found this post to be a helpful insight into life with with long-term health issues. There are so many people walking through a tougher battle than me. So if you know someone dealing with chronic illness, take the time to reach out to them and support them on their journey. ~OC

Joy!

Today’s a new day! Being chronically ill comes with a lot of ups and downs and a wide range of emotions. These emotions can be so strong and overwhelming at times. As you walk through the different stages of being chronically ill, you are faced with a lot of situations that you could never prepare for and those moments can make you feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster. Physical health affects your mental, emotional and spiritual health more than people would think.

When you are chronically ill, your life becomes a vicious cycle of intense symptoms and flares. This can leave you feeling completely hopeless and lost at times. But even at moments when it feels impossible to find joy, it is possible, even on the darkest days. Some days you have to search a little harder for that joy but it is always there. Joy looks different to everyone. As a chronic illness warrior it is so important that you surround yourself with joy because it is easy to lose hope of experiencing pure joy again.

I find joy in many ways in my life and I really make an effort to make those things a part of my daily living. One of the main ways that I find joy/happiness is by leaning into my faith. My faith has allowed me to overcome a lot of tough moments in this journey. I also surround myself with the love and support of my family and the few friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. A supportive group of people have the ability to turn my bad days into great days. I am so thankful for each of them because they not only provide peace/joy, they also give me so much hope. I also find joy and happiness in doing things I love such as: writing,listening to music and making memories with my bride.

The past month has been filled with more tough news regarding my health. Looking back on the past month, joy has still there even in the darkest days. Sometimes during hard times things become so overwhelming that we forget that even then we can still find joy in the little things. It is okay to have bad days but it is so important that everyday we challenge ourselves to stop and find happiness and joy. Joy always outweighs the bad and it is so important that we remind ourselves of that. Have a great day! ~OC

Intimacy with God

Today’s a new day! As I have struggled with chronic health issues for 21 years, I have experienced a beautiful and ever deepening relationship with God. He’s constantly pouring out His love over me, and God is continuously speaking to me. Even though my health journey has not been an easy one, God has never felt distant. Even in the toughest moments, He has felt close like a warm blanket on a cold night.

I know for some people that has not always been their experience. They have had moments of feeling distant from God. While we should not let our emotions dictate our faith, if He consistently feels distant, we should question why.

I would like to share one of the greatest gift a person facing chronic health issues can experience during the trying times- intimacy with God. If you’re currently walking through a season of chronic illness, you can experience an ever-growing closeness with God during the toughest and most painful days. Here are some questions I have pondered over the years.

  1. Are you currently experiencing true intimacy with God?
  2. During your health battle when have you felt closet to God?
  3. How often in your journey have you compared your interaction with God to how He interacts with, responds to, or guides someone else?
  4. What are some ways you can intentionally draw close to God?
  5. Do you struggle with feeling as if you should do or be more as a Christian?
  6. Have you unknowingly slipped into a works-based relationship with God?
  7. In what ways is God using your current struggles to draw you closer to Him?

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑