Time For Healing
Dream Killers
If God has placed a dream on your heart, do not let anyone or anything try to destroy that dream. Dream Killers can be the the following:
Doubt
Criticism
Comparison
Intimidation
Failure/Discouragement
People
These dream killers can happen everyday. Do not allow them to destroy the dreams God has put on your heart. Step out and trust God. ~OC
Who Is Your Neighbor?
A few days ago, I shared a video about Simply Loving Others in 2020. I challenged each of us to love everyone God brings our way this year.
That means we must love those that look different than us. That means we must love those who think differently than us. That means we must love those who worship differently than us. That means we must love those who vote differently than us. That means we must love those who speak a different language than us. That means we must love those who love differently than us. Who Is Your Neighbor? Will you love them? ~OC
How To Help
During my 17 year crazy beautiful health journey, I was often asked how people could help Laura and I. Here are a few suggestions:
Stay in Contact: Nothing brightens a patient’s day more than hearing from friends. It could be a phone call, visit or a simple text. Even when I could not eat or drink, I loved the interaction with friends. So never be afraid to call that loved one or friend. Also the doctors have shared keeping a person’s mind active is very important. So, when you are thinking about someone, take that opportunity to reach out to them. Do not miss out on a beautiful memory.
Remember to Check On The Caregiver: The caregiver can get lost during the journey. As my caregiver, Laura had the toughest job. Working full-time and taking care of me could be overwhelming. And remember, she did this for over 17 years. So, make sure you are asking about the caregivers physical, mental and emotional well-being. One of my main concerns during my journey, was that Laura take care of herself and enjoy life. A caregiver can always use a night out.
Don’t Start a Pity Party: Dealing with health issues is tough enough. At times people want to go crawl in a hole and isolate. Don’t let them do it. Offer some words of encouragement. Get them out of the house. Go make some memories. My journey was a tough one, but so many people had it tougher than me. Remember, a lady gave birth in a tree. True story!
Just listen: Sometimes hurting people just need someone to listen. Not to fix. Not to have all the answers. Just listening is a beautiful gift.
Be Flexible: The one thing about illness is everyday is different. My health issues bought new challenges each day. Sometimes each hour. So be flexible when dealing with a family member or friend struggling with health issues.
Learn About the Illness: Some people are dealing with illnesses we have never heard of, but asking questions and maybe a quick Google search can help. This can help you better support that loved one. Just don’t believe everything you read online.
Be Available: People dealing with health issues face different challenges. So be available to help when possible. That help could come in the form of bringing someone meals, sitting with someone during their treatment, visiting them in the hospital or transportation. For years, I could not drive based on my health issues. So, having rides to my appointments were important. I am thankful for my team of drivers during my journey. Getting out of the house and enjoying live is so important.
The Long Haul: Be there for your family and friends. Did I ever think my journey would last 17 years? No way! But what I learned was that some friends put an expiration date on how long they could endure my new normal. Having friends that have stuck it out and supported me has been a true blessing.
Acceptance: Stop comparing who someone was before they got sick, to the person they are now. Simply accept that who someone was and who they are now has changed. So when that family member or friend has a life changing experience, embrace the new them.
I hope this helps. There is really not a blueprint for this stuff. So don’t beat yourself up, if you say or do the wrong thing. The most important thing you can do is be present and engaged. ~OC
National Caregivers Month
November is National Caregivers Month. I truly believe caregivers should be celebrated everyday.
For the last 17.5 years, my beautiful bride has been my caregiver. She has made a lot of sacrifices during that time. Besides being my caregiver, she has been my health advocate, chauffeur and cheerleader. I definitely could add more titles to the list. Laura has taken on each of these roles without complaining. This crazy beautiful journey has been tough on her, but she has handled it like the champion she is. I never take her love, support and sacrifice for granted. I do my best to celebrate her whenever I can. I also try my best to make sure she takes care of herself.
Too many caregivers are forgotten during the health journey of a loved one. Everyone is quick to asked about the patient, but we can never forget about the caregivers. They are the real heroes. Caregivers continuously make sacrifices that nobody notices. They sometimes put their life on hold to take care of a loved one. Most do it without complaining. So many caregivers walk this journey alone. Most would never asked for help. So many caregivers get lost in the journey.
That is why I wanted my bride to share her part of the story in our book The Blessed Overcomer. I wanted caregivers to know they mattered. That they are not forgotten. Laura’s story needed to be told.
I pray if you know a caregiver, you will not forget about them. I believe their job is much harder than the patients. There is no playbook on how to be a caregiver. Here are a few things we can do to help out a caregiver:
Check on them. Reach out to a caregiver and see how they are doing. Let them know they matter.
Give them a break. Asked if you can sit with the patient. This is huge! Most caregivers will not asked for a break, but it is so important for their wellbeing to have those breaks.
Volunteer to drive the patient to appointments. Based on my health issues, I am no longer able to drive. Friends from our church have taken it upon themselves to create a ride schedule to take me to my many medical appointments. This has been a huge blessing for Laura and I.
These are just a few helpful things you can do to help out a caregiver. They may seem small, but can be life changing. So if you know a caregiver, take the time to see how you can help them navigate their crazy beautiful journey. ~OC
Difference Maker
I think we all want to make a difference in life. What does that look like? Here are a few simple things we can do to be a difference maker.
By Listening
By not Judging
By Forgiving
By Serving
By Respecting Others
By Simply Loving
Think about the difference we could make, if we just did these six simple things. ~OC
The Hands And Feet Of Jesus
As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have been blessed to see those around me be the hands and feet of Jesus. It has been a wonderful experience to see God’s people actually living out His teachings.
Several years ago, I had to stop driving. My health got to a point where driving was a dangerous undertaking. I could not put other people or myself in danger. This was not an easy decision. Part of my freedom was taken away. It also put a lot of pressure on my wife. She had to take on the role of being my chauffeur. That is a huge job with all of my medical appointments. So for a number of years, Laura would drop me off at my treatments/appointments and pick me up afterwards. So basically, she had to work around my schedule. Then last year, Laura and I joined a Bible Study at our church. During one of the gatherings, Laura mentioned my treatment/medical appointments schedule to a one of the lady’s at the study. Without missing a beat, this young lady shared the group could help out with rides to treatments and doctor appointments. She asked Laura to send her my schedule and she would put together a team to take and pick me up from my appointments. And she did! Within a few days, people from our Bible Study had signed up for all the time slots. Laura and I were blown away. So for the past year, people have been signing up to take me to my treatments. What a huge relive and blessing that has been for my wife and I.
That is just one blessing from our amazing small group at church. Our Bible Study includes dinner before the study. The group always has extra food to send us home with, so Laura does not have to worry about cooking. What a beautiful blessing that has been for Laura. A simple act that has meant so much to us. Laura and I have been so blessed by this amazing group of people. Our small group has become our family. So blessed.
So how can each of us become the hands and feet of Jesus? Here are just a few ways we can help serve others.
Rides. Who in your circle might need rides to medical appointments, grocery store or mall? Take the time to find out and help set up a schedule.
Meal Train. Who in your circle might benefit from having meals delivered to their home. That new family to the neighborhood, that family with a new baby, that family dealing with some medical issues.
Mission Trip. Step out of your comfort zone and go on a mission trip. You can start off with a short-term mission trip and work yourself up to a long-term trip.
Volunteer. I guarantee you there are endless possibilities to serve in your community. Take the time to research and find out where you can serve.
Brown Bag. Make some lunches or dinner for the homeless people you pass by every day. That simple act could make a huge difference in someone’s life.
Hygiene Kit. Put together some hygiene kits to pass out to the homeless.
Gift Cards. Buy some gift cards and pass those out to a single parent, college student or homeless person.
Visitation. Take time to visit a person at the hospital, treatment center or the person who is homebound. I can tell you from my own personal experience, visits mean so much. I have some friends who just sit with me during my treatments and hospital stays. It makes a huge difference.
Prayer. We can all pray. Never underestimate the power of prayer. Join the prayer team at your place of worship.
These are just a few ways we can be the hands and feet of Jesus. There are so many more. I encourage each of us to find a way to serve others in our community. ~OC
Are You Thriving In Life?
The word Thriving is a powerful word. To thrive means to prosper and flourish.
Several years ago as I was reflecting on my crazy beautiful health journey, God asked me a question I had never heard before. It was a question I was not sure how to answer. One early morning, God asked me if I was surviving or thriving in life? Of course, I thought I was thriving. I was busy trying to navigate this crazy beautiful journey. I was sharing the story God had given me to tell. But after thinking and praying about this question, I realized I was busy living life, but was I thriving in life? Big difference.
So I started asking myself some tough questions. Do I feel good about myself? Am I living with purpose? Am I satisfied with where my life is at this moment? Am I all that God is calling me to be? Truly answering these questions, put me on a path to truly thriving in life.
God wants each of us to thrive in life. We were created for a purpose. We were created for community. We were created to overcome the obstacles in life. We were created to be fully alive. Let’s take a look at a few of these points.
Created For A Purpose. God created each of us for a purpose in life. We were not created to just walk through life like zombies. No, God has amazing plans for each of our lives. Some people find their purpose early in life. For others, it takes awhile to truly find your purpose. That’s okay. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. I would encourage each of us to spend some time today, asking ourselves “Am I living life with purpose?”
Created For Community. Have there been times in your life, that you have been so busy that you felt disconnected from your community? I know I have experienced those moments. We were not created to be alone. No, we were created to do life together. How would you answer the following questions? Do you have a community of support in your life? Is this community building you up or keeping you from your purpose in life? Are you willing to make changes in life to belong to a positive and life building community? Life is too short to be surrounded by a negative community.
Created To Be Fully Alive. As I walked through this question of surviving or thriving, God reminded me He created us to be fully alive in life. God wants us to experience freedom and complete fullness. Unfortunately, we will all walk through seasons of life where we are just surviving. This is just part of life. Part of the marathon. I would encourage each of us to not stay in that season of just surviving for long. This is where you Community comes into play. God gives us all passions that are meant to drive us. What are you passionate about? When you find the answer to that question, you will be fully alive.
Created to Overcome. There is nothing we face in life, that we cannot overcome with the help of God. But OC, you have no idea what I am facing in life. True, I do not know what your currently facing in life, but I do know that God is bigger than any storm we will ever face in life. I know that is easy to say, but not always easy to live out. I have been striving to live out the Overcoming Life, for the past 17 years with my ongoing health issues. It has not always been easy, but God has been with me every step of the way.
Deciding to live a life of Thriving will not always be easy. There will be seasons where we fall back into the just surviving mode. That’s okay. As we discussed above, just don’t stay in the surviving mode. Seek after God, reach out to your community, make the choice to overcome. Decide that being fully alive is more important than just surviving in life. ~OC
You and I
As we turn on the news, scroll through social media or just walk down the street, we see so many heartbreaking things happening around us. We see and read about homelessness, gun violence, human trafficking and substance abuse. The list could go on and on. We pray about these issues and we ask God to bring help. Not only do we pray, but we demand that our elected officials do something about these and other issues our communities are facing. We cry out to God to please bring someone to help those that are suffering. Oh Dear God, why are you not answering our prayers? Has anyone else but me had these thoughts and prayed these prayers?
Guess what? Sometimes you and I are the answer to the those prayers. Wait, what? That’s right, God wants you and I to help the homeless. God wants you and I to help end gun violence. God wants you and I to help end human trafficking. God wants you and I to help end the substance issues in our communities. God wants you and I to help change our communities. Mind blowing isn’t it? Not really.
God has always used His people to help make the world a better place. A lot of times we are just not listening. Or we cannot believe God could use us to make a difference. But God is looking for us to be His hands and feet. We just have to be willing to stand up and answer the call. Because sometimes God will use you and I to answer our prayers. ~OC
Dear Church Body
Another mass shooting. More hateful and racist tweets by some of our political leaders. Another day filled with hate in America. Where is the outcry from the Christian Community? Where is the Church?
Dear Church Members, this is not the time to be silent. A prayer for the victims of a mass shooting during Sunday service is appreciated, but is not enough. Where are we the rest of the week? Where are we when some of our political leaders are spewing hateful comments and tweets?
The Church and its members should be the leading voices against racism. Christians should be on the frontlines against any type of hate. Now is the time to be bold. Now is not the time to be silent because it doesn’t fit your political agenda. Christians should be about doing God’s work, not the work of a political party. The world is watching the Church and the Christian Community. What side of history will we stand on?
There are roughly 300,000 churches in America. There are 1,020 active hate groups in America. Which voices will be the loudest? I pray my fellow Christians will drown out the hateful words and actions of these hate groups with the love of the gospel. I pray my fellow Christians will speak out when our political leaders spew hateful rhetoric. I pray my fellow Christians will speak out against all forms of hate and racism. Once again, I will ask what side of history will the Church and its people stand on?
I pray my fellow Christian brothers and sisters do not feel I am attacking the Church or Christians. That is not my intention. I love the Church and my fellow Christians. I believe we should be the ones demanding better from our leaders. We should be the ones standing up against all forms of hate and racism. We should be the Peacemakers.
You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family. ~Matthew 5:9
“I hope the church as a whole will meet the challenges of this decisive hour.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
The Blessed Overcomer 