Tag: Conversations

Brokenness….A Gift

Today’s a new day!

Sometimes I feel broken.

There are times I look at my life and see all the ways I fall short. Maybe it was my negative attitude or words that negatively affected someone else.

There are so many ways to feel broken- physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. In the middle of our brokenness, it’s easy to agonize over whether or not we can ever be acceptable to God or be used by Him during our brokenness. I know I struggle with this sometimes.

During this crazy beautiful health journey, God has taught me a valuable lesson about being broken.

Our brokenness is a gift. A gift? Yes, a gift because our brokenness connects us to other people walking through their own brokenness. A gift because our brokenness brings us closer to God. It is during our brokenness that God makes us whole.

Sharing our brokenness brings meaning and healing to our own crazy beautiful journey.

Blessings happen during the brokenness. As I have shared my health journey with others, people have reached out to me and shared how my journey has helped them walk through their own crazy beautiful journey. It has been a blessing to see God move through my brokenness.

Being broken is a gift, because through our brokenness we recognize our need for God. Because only through God can our broken life be made whole.

I am so grateful for the gift of being broken. During my brokenness God has continued to love me and use me in spite of my brokenness. What a gift.

My prayer for you is that during your brokenness, you will look to God and allow Him to use you during this time. I pray you will find the gift of brokenness as God puts your broken pieces back together. ~OC

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Beautiful Gift

Today’s a new day! In late 2002, I was diagnosed with several forms of crippling arthritis. I would spend nearly a year taking multiple experimental drugs to help fight the arthritis. Unfortunately, those medications did more damage than good. Fast forward to August 2003, I had a chest scan done after coughing up blood on my way home from work. That scan would change my life forever. A few weeks after the scan a biopsy would reveal that tumor sitting in my chest was cancerous. The results would change the way I live life forever. After having the tumor removed a short time later, I thought the worst was over. I had no idea that four years later I would be diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s. Of course my symptoms had shown up years before, but I never paid any attention to them. I blew it off as stress or fatigue. Then a few short years later, I would be diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. Maybe I should have started playing the lottery. Then about eight years later, I would be diagnosed with Gastroparesis. What are the odds? Well, some on my medical team have shared I am one in two billion. Where’s that winning lottery ticket?

Over these past twenty-two years, I have learned, and continue to learn, about living with persistent pain, near-constant fatigue and constant unsteadiness. I stress living, though I am also learning about dying. We’re all, always, dying-while-living and living while dying. My experiences with these multiple health issues simply make me more aware of death’s relentless work and also, mercifully, makes me more attentive to life’s beautiful gifts. Among them are:

The amazing gift of conversations, laughter, tears, prayers, encouragement and amazing times with family and friends.

The beautiful gift of music and books.

The beautiful gift of memories from my running days.

The beautiful gift of a call or visit from friends.

The amazing gift of sunrises and sunsets.

The gift of a quiet morning before the battle of another day begins.

The amazing gift of experiencing healing in so many different ways.

The gift of experiencing the many blessings of God.

The beautiful gift of hearing God speak to my spirit.

The gift of a quiet evening on the balcony with my bride.

The beautiful gift of almost 25 years with my bride.

The amazing gift of continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride.

The gift of outliving all the predictions of my death.

The gift of knowing God has everything under control.

In the time I have left (I am taking on the challenge to outlive the current prognosis), I intend to live close to the veil, at the threshold, and at the feet of the God upon whom angels descend and ascend. I hope to say what I hear, describe what I see, and offer what I receive because it is good, hopeful and healing. Every day, I choose to be The Man Who Refuses to Die and embrace the beautiful gifts of life. ~OC

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Friday Night in the 80’s

It’s Friday! Let’s take a trip back to the 1980’s in West Palm Beach, FL. You have had a long week at school. It’s time to relax and let loose. You spend a lot of time getting ready for a night on the town. Gotta look good! Ladies have to have that 80’s hair on point. Guys have to pick just the right cologne. You jump in a crowded car and see where the night takes you. First stop is the mall. Do you hit the Palm Beach Mall or the Cross County Mall? Maybe you scope out both. If you hit the Cross County Mall, you might check out what’s playing at the AMC Movie Theater. Then you might scroll over to the Arcade. Oh, everyone is getting a little hungry. You head down to Mamma Leone’s for a slice or two. You hang out for a while and decide what’s next. No one can decide on a movie, so you decide to head to Galaxy Skating Rink. You’re bound to find some friends skating to the amazing sounds of the 70’s and 80’s. You spend a few hours skating round and round, then you decide it’s time to head back to the Cross County Mall and get some ice cream at Swenson’s. By that time some new friends have jumped in the 🚘. Maybe you know maybe you don’t. It really doesn’t matter. After making yourself half sick on all the ice cream, you decide maybe you’ll hit a midnight movie at the theater. Maybe you have a friend working there who will let you in for free. After a night of fun, you head home with some amazing memories. Memories that will last a lifetime. Enjoy your Friday night! ~OC

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Sometimes You Have to Speak Out

Hello! My name is Todd OC Shoemaker, I am a Missionary, Traveling Prayer Warrior and Storyteller. I use this blog to share about my health journey and thoughts that God puts on my heart. I write as a Christian, Husband and someone who cares deeply for America.

There is a time in each person’s life where you have to stand up and speak your truth. That can be difficult when you know there will be negative blowback from some family and friends. From a whole community. But I feel it’s time to take that risk. I want to share the following as America prepares for an election in November.

I do not believe that pastors and churches should endorse political candidates or political parties. I do not believe Voter Guides should be handed out by churches. I am happy that I attend a diverse church, full of people from all walks of life and political backgrounds. I believe people are smart enough to make their own decisions.

I am a registered Independent. I was a registered Republican until the party took a drastic turn in 2016. Neither party fully represents my Christian beliefs. Not even close. Both promise a lot, but rarely deliver. I tend to vote based on the issues and not the candidates.

All that to say, there is an issue I have decided I need to say something about. And that issue is former President Donald Trump. I oppose his election as President, and believe that his election could be harmful for America. I realize in the Christian community, I am probably in the minority. But I believe I must share the following.

I do not believe that Donald Trump has the best interest of our country in mind. He has shown on many occasions, that he cares more for himself than he does about America. His actions and language are dangerous. Do you realize that when he made the comment, “I could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and not lose votes”, he was speaking at a Christian College in Iowa? The crowd laughed and clapped, and some in the audience shouted out love for the former president.

I find it hard to believe that people who claim to love Jesus, could support someone who holds and proclaims racist, sexist, and violent views. These are in direct contrast to the words and life of Jesus.

I believe that the former president has taken the name of Jesus in vain on multiple occasions. He continues to misuse the Christian faith by claiming to be “a great Christian” while not feeling the need to seek God’s forgiveness. And the sad part is so many pastors, Christian leaders and some in the Christian community continue to cheer him on and make excuses for him.

I also happen to disagree with the former President on some actual issues, but that isn’t the point. I disagree with all the candidates on various issues. My opposition to Mr. Trump is not about his political party or beliefs; this is about his character. Character should matter. Especially in the Church.

I did not vote for Mr. Trump in 2016 or 2020 and will not vote for him in November. I truly believe a second term under the former President would only cause more harm and division.

This is my choice, and I am not telling anyone who to vote for. This is still America and everyone is free to make their own decisions and follow their conscience.

I will continue to pray for this country and its leaders on both sides of the aisle. Once again, my name is Todd “OC” Shoemaker and I approve this message. ~OC

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Sharing My Journey

Today’s a new day! I did not choose this journey. I didn’t choose to become an Overcomer or The Man Who Refuses to Die. But God, in His wisdom, has allowed me to live much longer than my medical team’s predictions. My blog is a peek into how I run this crazy beautiful health journey.

I am a journal keeping and scripture reading man. In the twenty-two years of running this crazy journey, I have learned to let God’s words flow through every area of my life. God has allowed me to become a traveling prayer warrior, a storyteller and missionary.

As I have run this race, God has taught me to not rush through the stories of life. He has shown me how to slow down and really listen to peoples stories and embrace the beautiful interruptions of life.

I am thankful God did not give me the whole story of this crazy health journey at once. No, in His wisdom God has only given me what he knows I can handle at that moment. Of course, without God I could never handle any of this. That’s why I choose to put everything in His hands.

As I share my journey, I try to be as honest as my heart allows. I want people to see both the pain of this journey and the faithfulness of God in the midst of the storms.

I will never minimize the darkness. Because light shines brightest in the darkness. ~OC

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Soundtrack of My Life

Today’s a new day! I thought I would have a little fun with this post. How would my crazy beautiful journey sound if it was set to music?

As I open my eyes on this Beautiful Day, I Rise Up and thank God he always Stands By Me and I Raise a Hallelujah. With Every Little Step, I am Livin’ On a Prayer because these days my body Rattles. Some mornings I think about the Glory Days and remember my body was Born to Run, but today I Dream On because I have learned to Stand Tall and I choose to live life as a Overcomer. As I make my way around My House, I remember It Is Well With My Soul. As I think about Breakfast, I wish I was Hungry Like a Wolf. As I turn on the news, all I hear is Rumour Has It, and all this negativity is Killing Me Softly. Man, you gotta to Pray just to make it today. We all need to Come Together on this Yellow Brick Road and stop all this Jive Talkin’. All this Poison makes me get down on a Bended Knee and live with Gratitude at the Mention of Your Name. I stop and take a look at the Man In The Mirror and I think How Can We Mend A Broken Heart? But I will choose to live Like a Rock because that’s My Prerogative. Some days I just enjoy Rainy Days and Mondays. But Ain’t Nobody going to steal my Joy and I am going to Shake It Up and embrace the Good Times. I will continue to live in Amazing Grace. I wanna live With Arms Wide Open. I am a little Older, but thankfully I am Still Standing and feel Forever Young.

So today, be careful of Careless Whispers and Don’t Let The Sun Go Down without showing some Forgiveness. Today Relax, Because He Lives and took care of everything on The Old Rugged Cross. ~OC

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Seasons

Today’s a new day! This journey called life is made up of many seasons
some seasons slip away, never to be seen again while other seasons look like they’re slipping away, but they have only just begun

Like the dim light on the road ahead on an evening run, we only get a glimpse of the secrets of the world
May never pass this way again

Noises all around us
the seasons come and go
May never pass this way again

The dreams we dream keep us moving forward in the difficult seasons of life, those dreams keep us flying like an eagle on a warm summer breeze
May never pass this way again

Like Dr. King in the olden days
we must gather all our courage and live out our dreams
May never pass this way again

So cast away your fears
Our dreams will ebb and flow
different seasons will come and go
May never pass this way again

I wanna laugh with family and friends
I wanna cry and not waste a tear
I wanna dream and live in the moment
May never pass this way again

I wanna dance with my bride on a cool summer night to the sounds of the 80’s in the background
I wanna drive down the highway with adventure in my heart and some Motown playing on the radio
May never pass this way again

On those tough days when my body is failing me, I want to look in the mirror and not see a life of washed out dreams, on those days when it’s hard to breathe, I wanna hear Journey in the background reminding me Don’t Stop Believing
May never pass this way again

As the season change, I’m still standing, maybe not better than before, but living as an Overcomer
I wanna keep dancing in the light
May never pass this way again. ~OC

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Mile Marker Moments

Today’s a new day! I will never forget Sunday November 14, 2004. A little over a year after being diagnosed with cancer and having my chest cracked open to remove a golf ball tumor, I completed my very first half marathon on that day. I was blessed that so many friends and family members were at the finish line to help Laura and I celebrate. What a memorable day. My running days gave me so many amazing memories.

I am incredibly thankful for what I call “Mile Marker Moments.” What are Mile Marker Moments? They are moments in life where everything hits the wall. A moment where you have to decide if you continue on or if you call for a ride to the finish line. During my marathon days, my Mile Marker Moment came at mile 19. My body was done. The music on my playlist and the cheers from the crowd were just not enough. At mile 19, I always wanted to throw in the towel. But in that moment, God would fill my body and mind with amazing energy. The strength to get through all the pain and doubts, to continue on and run strong through the finish line. As much as I loved crossing that finish line, the real lessons were learned at mile 19. I truly value the Mile Marker Moments of life.

Mile Marker Moments teach us:
My last year running marathons was extremely tough. My body was really starting to shut down and every training run and marathon was filled with pain. My times had went from somewhat respectable to something far from respectable. Running was no longer easy for me. But after each marathon that year, I would spend time reflecting on the race and my results. I would always walk away with a teachable moment. It was on me to take the time to embrace those lessons and learn from them. Just like mile 19 of a marathon, we have to commit to embracing the valuable lessons of life instead of quitting.

Mile Marker Moments challenge us:
During that last year of running marathons, there were times I really hated running. The pain, the slow pace were overwhelming at times. Here I was the Blessed Overcomer of running, the guy whose story for some reason was encouraging others and I was struggling. But I challenged myself to do better. That can be difficult when your body is betraying you. During those low moments, I would use every race to challenge myself to learn and hopefully do better the next race. We need to use the mile marker moments of life to fuel us for the next opportunity.

Mile Marker Moments shape us: All the tough moments in running and life have strengthened my faith. God has used all of those Mile Marker Moments, to make me a better and stronger person. The Mile Marker Moments of my crazy beautiful health journey remind me that even in my darkest moments, God is still in control. The Mile Marker Moments of my life have blessed me with the opportunity to have some amazing conversations with people dealing with their own mile marker moments. During those conversations, I encourage people to let those mile marker moments help shape them, but not become their identity.

So as you face your own Mile Marker Moments, allow them to reveal God’s purpose for your life. Let them remind you to never give up and keep your eyes on the finish line. ~OC

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Woke

Today’s a new day! Several years after the horrific mass shooting at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, SC, Laura and I visited the church. It was a sobering and powerful experience.

I also remember that being the first time someone referred to me as being “Woke.” It was said in a very loving and respectful way. Unfortunately, that is not always the case when the word “Woke” is used in today’s politically charged world. As a white Christian in America, I am saddened that so many politicians, pastors and Christians misinterpret the word “Woke” to suit their own biased ideology.

Some politicians and pastors have the nerve, for example, to quote Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. when he spoke at the March on Washington in 1963 and shared the following words, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Dr. King was projecting a vision of a world without racism, where people would see each other as friends, neighbors, and fellow human beings. But some politicians, pastors and Christians have twisted Dr. King’s words to insist that we should ignore racism right now, stop teaching about it, and pretend it does not exist. They use his words to justify laws on teaching about or discussing the racism in the here and now. They use his appeal for an unrealized future to blind us to a cruel present.

Today, I propose that we make a concerted effort to reclaim the original meaning of the word Woke. So many politicians, pastors and Christians have turned the word into a shameful four-letter word. Have they even taken the time to look up the true definition of WOKE? I have. The original meaning of the word Woke is “Being aware of injustice and inequality, specifically when referring to racism.” What is wrong with that?

I strive to be aware of injustice and inequality and racial discrimination and to do whatever I can to help educate and make things better. I believe as humans we should all do that.

So yes, I will wear the tag of “Woke” with honor. I pray that Dr. King’s “Dream” someday will become a reality in America and around the world. But we have a lot of work to do. Let’s Go! ~OC

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Labels

Today’s a new day! What label are you wearing today? Labels? Am I wearing a label? What does it say? Who gave you this label? If you’re wearing a label and it doesn’t reflect who God says you are, then it’s time to rip it off.

I remember when I was in 1st grade, the teacher Ms. Deer sat what she perceived as the “Smart Students” in the front of the class and the perceived “Not So Smart Students” in the back of the class. Without really knowing me, Ms. Deer placed me in the back row. There it was. The “label” I did not ask for, but that was the one that was placed on me. Ms. Deer had no idea that in that one moment, she would define who I was as a student for the rest of my academic career. As look back, I remember always sitting in the back of the class. That “label” Ms. Deer slapped on me may have been invisible to everyone else, but I saw it. I felt it.

We have to be so careful about the labels we slap on people. Because without knowing it, those labels can follow people the rest of their lives. Those labels can end up defining a person.

I am thankful, that I would later have teachers and professors that put a lot of time and effort into pushing me past that “average” label. But I must admit, that label was always in the back of my mind all of my academic career.

I am grateful that God does not look at me and slap on a “average” label. No, God looks at me and all of us and sees masterpieces. God takes the time to look past all the labels the world has put on us and sees that masterpiece. But we need to discover who we are in God. To truly believe who God says we are. Then we need to declare it. Take out that megaphone and shout it out to the world. ~OC

“As surely as I live, declares the Lord, I will do to you the very things I heard you say.” ~Numbers 14:28

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