Tag: Crazy Beautiful Journey

Marriage Vows

Today’s a new day! On this date twenty-six years ago, I had the honor of marrying my bride Laura. When we shared our vows on that Friday night we had no idea that the majority of our marriage would center around my health issues.

Like every newlyweds, we thought The big stuff, the hard illnesses, would come later in life. That definitely has not been part of our story.

I was taken by surprise when life-threatening illness hit our home – and even more surprised when it happened to me. Without any warning signs, I began experiencing severe fatigue and muscle weakness. Within a few months and after a number of tests, Laura and I were told I had several forms of crippling arthritis. Only to find out a year later, I was actually dealing with a very rare type of cancer. (only 2% of the population deals with this type of cancer). We had no idea how that diagnosis and then multiple life threatening diseases would become part of our everyday lives.

My wife Laura and I were still in our honeymoon season of our marriage. This kind of thing wasn’t supposed to happen. I felt helpless as Laura cared for me in addition to working her full-time job and working on her masters degree. While I was in the hospital, she stayed by my side, trying to work and get some rest in some uncomfortable chairs. Watching her husband struggle to just breathe at times.

Over the years, Laura has taken on most of the she household responsibilities. She makes meals, vacuums and chauffeurs me to multiple medical appointments. She does this all with a smile and encouraging words.

I was and still am blown away by how Laura continues to care for me all these years later. At times, I have found myself frustrated that I cannot do more to make her daily grind a little easier. Her kindness continues to overwhelm me.

As I reflect on this health journey we continue to walk together, it gives me a deeper appreciation of God’s purpose for marriage. Sacrifice is lived out in homes around the world as couples serve each other through illness, financial crisis and family issues. No matter their story, husbands and wives face opportunities to love without seeking anything in return. Why? So they can experience God’s heart through one another and live His love for one another.

Every opportunity we have to serve our spouse gives us the chance to live out the love story God crafted for us. He gave His Son so that we could have life. There was nothing we could give in return – nothing we could do to pay Him back. And yet He chose to give anyway.

Laura continues to live out her commitment to stand by me in sickness. She has more than fulfilled her marital vows – she has become a living illustration of God’s love. ~OC

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God’s Hope

Good morning! Over the years, I have enjoyed writing what I will loosely call poetry. So I have decided to share some of my “poetry” with you. Be kind.

A light in the darkness, a beacon so bright

God’s hope shines upon us, a guiding light

In times of uncertainty, it leads the way

A promise for tomorrow, of a brighter day

With faith as our anchor, we hold tight

Through life’s storms and trials, we allow God to navigate the night

God’s hope sustains us, a constant friend

A love that’s unwavering, till the very end

May God’s hope inspire you, uplift your soul

A reminder of love, that makes us whole

In His presence, we find our peace

A hope that’s eternal, a love that never ends. ~OC

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Flashing Neon Sign

Today’s a new day! As with many neurological illnesses there is nothing noticeable about my condition. It’s not like a broken leg or arm where there is a cast which is obvious when seeing the person. But I cannot tell you how many times I have heard the same old words since my diagnosis last fall, Todd, you do not look like you have dementia.

I often wonder if it comes down to the fact that people feel uncomfortable talking to me about it, so they say the first thing that comes to mind. Which at times can come across as very insensitive and judgmental. Since my diagnosis of early onset dementia caused by my Parkinson’s, I have had several people tell me I do not look or act like someone with dementia. Or Todd, maybe you’re just dealing with an infection of some kind and just need to take some antibiotics. I would be overjoyed if that was actually the case. But I have some amazing doctors and they didn’t come up with this diagnosis lightly.

What does dementia look like? There is no cast or bandage to put on it. I guess I could wear a flashing neon sign that says, “HELLO, I HAVE EARLY ONSET DEMENTIA!” that lets people know of my latest diagnosis.

But seriously, I am walking through a very new and strange season of life, but I know I am not the only one. It simply gets frustrating when people decide to find a different diagnosis or make you doubt your current state of health because they do not like the diagnosis. It can be irritating and cruel when people doubt you and your medical team. Believe me, no one wants to sit in a doctor’s office and hear the words “You have early onset dementia.”

I do think that part of this attitude is because people have a hard time believing someone in their 50’s could have an “old person’s” disease. Also the topic of dementia is not an easy or fun subject to talk about. It can be easier to just ignore it or try to explain it away.

I also believe people have their own preconceived beliefs about dementia and I and many others suffering from this horrible disease do not fit in their picture of dementia.

So please do me a favor. Stop putting your personal beliefs or opinions on those suffering from a visually invisible disease or one that you don’t like. Life with dementia is already hard enough. Thanks for listening. ~OC

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The Race Called Life

Today’s a new day! During my running days, I was blessed to complete 350 marathons. Yes, you read that correctly. I can take no credit. It was all God pushing me through those marathons. People often ask me why I ran 350 marathons? I tell them I did not like the number 349.

It’s been a number of years since I was able to run based on my health issues. While I would have never considered myself a professional by any means, I like to think I learned a few things during my running days. Like how to stabilize my breathing (well, I did my best) and how to run at a steady pace. Once again I tried my best. Running is a lot like living the Christian life. We have many lessons to learn. I learned a lot of lessons during my running days that I have been able to apply to my Christian journey.

One of the first lessons you learn when you start running is that you need to have endurance. Whether you’re running a 5K or a 50 miler (yes, I did that), you need to train so that you can run at a steady pace and not get worn out quickly.

The Christian life requires endurance as well. Life can seem long and hard as Christians, especially in the midst of challenges. Many people have made the comparison that life is a marathon, not a sprint, and the same goes for the Christian life. As the writer of Hebrews says, “For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised” (Hebrews 10:36).

When you’re running, especially long distances, you want to lay aside everything that could weigh you down so that you only have the essentials. Lightweight shoes and light breathable clothing. As a runner you need to find the perfect balance between bringing what is necessary and those things that would just weigh you down.

In the Christian life, we are called to lay aside what weighs us down—namely, sin and any idols in our lives. Hanging on to those idols can cause our faith to falter and stumble. Letting go of idols in our lives frees us to live a life that is dedicated to Jesus. As the writer of Hebrews says:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:1–2)

As a runner, you come across trials and challenges. Whether that’s a heatwave, snowstorm, rainstorm, or injury, runners face challenges that impact their race. You can never predict these trials and instead you just have to take them as they come. But you cannot allow the obstacles in life to keep you from living the race God has designed just for you.

In the same way, as Christians we can face unexpected challenges and suffering. From a poor diagnosis, a lost relationship, a lost job or a broken family. This race called life can be difficult. But thankfully, we are being made perfect through the grace of God. As James writes in James 1:2-4, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing”

My prayer is that we will all run this race called life with endurance and receive the beautiful gift of eternal life. ~OC

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My Life With Dementia

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have always wanted to be upfront and honest when sharing my journey with you. So this morning, I want to share a post I have been working on for several weeks. It’s my life with dementia. I apologize in advance for the long post.

When I was diagnosed with young onset dementia last year, part of me thought there has to be a mistake, but it was also a relief to have some answers on why my life seemed a little out of focus. But it was still hard to hear “you have dementia.” Like so many people diagnosed with young-onset dementia, I was still planning a future with my bride. How was dementia showing up in my 50’s?

But here I am, almost a year later.

What I have learned is a dementia diagnosis isn’t the end of life. It just means life looks a little different.

Of course my life has looked a little different for the last twenty-three years dealing with multiple health issues. But over the last two decades, my faith and life experiences have taught me it’s possible to live a fulfilling, purposeful, and even joyful life even while dealing with the uncertainty of declining health. A diagnosis of dementia was not going to change that. At least I hope and pray that will be the case.

So as I walk out this journey called dementia, I wanted to share a few things that are working for me. This is not a neat how to live with dementia list, because dementia is not an easy follow these instructions and everything will be okay disease. No, dementia is a unpredictable roller coaster ride. Every day brings new challenges, but also new opportunities.

My hope and prayer is that this blog post will help create conversations. If you’re living with dementia, or supporting someone who is, I hope these tools help you live a full life regardless of the diagnosis.

My Dementia Toolbox:

I choose to live each day with Hope and Purpose.

I choose to live a life full of new adventures. Never stop making memories with family and friends.

I choose to maintain my independence as long as possible.

I choose to continue connecting with family and friends.

I choose to adapt to the changes dementia brings and never give up.

I choose to hold onto my identity and what makes me “me.”

I choose to keep learning new things each day.

I choose to live out my life and faith.

I choose not to avoid the declines that dementia brings, but to make the most out of every day and refuse to let dementia silence me.

Finally, living with dementia is not an easy journey. There are moments of loss and frustration, but there are also unexpected discoveries, laughs, and the good will of family and friends. ~OC

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Potholes in Life

Today’s a new day! Last night after my doctor’s appointment, Laura and I drove around town a bit. There is so much construction going on around us. Also a lot of potholes and roadblocks to navigate around. At times, I felt like I was on some type of ride at the fair.

On our journey through life, we also face many bumps and potholes along the way. There are financial, relational, and medical trials that will come into our lives. What we do when we come to a bump in the road is usually slow down or come to a complete stop in order to better assess the situation before moving forward. We must also keep a certain balance ourselves, so as not to falter or fall down. There are times when Christian friends will come alongside us and help us to navigate these bumps in our lives. At times, if we become stalled for a long time, they might gently urge us and encourage us to move on and continue on the road of life.

“Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status.” ~Romans 15:1

As we were driving around town, it was only Laura and I paying close attention to the road construction around us, that saved us from hitting one pothole after another. It also helped that we knew some of the potholes were coming, so we were able to avoid them. Knowing the road allowed us the grace to prepare ourselves for the bumpy ride.

But what about the times when we don’t know what lies ahead of us on this journey called life or what’s around the next corner? In those times, we need to turn directly to Jesus. He knows the road ahead, and we can always depend on Him to guide us safely through those bumps in the journey.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” ~Deuteronomy 31:8

Prayer for the Day: Dear God, help us to turn to You first when we face the bumps and potholes in our journey. We know that You are more than capable of helping meet our needs. Dear God, help our unbelief in times of trouble. Make us a people able to stand strong as we or a loved one walks through the bumpy moments in life. We pray all of this in your powerful and matchless name dear Jesus. Amen.

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Doorway

Today’s a new day! It was through the doorway of suffering that Jesus opened the way for us to walk through suffering with supernatural joy, peace, and hope. ~OC

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College Football In The South

Today’s a special day. Like every other properly raised Southern person it’s my favorite time of the year; college football starts today. Team shirts, hats and jackets are out, Saturday menus and BBQ’s are planned, and the big games are being taped so we don’t miss a bit of action.

That’s college football in the south.  It’s a celebration.  It’s a tradition.  It’s a way of life from late August through bowl season.

For as far back as I can remember, Southeastern Conference football has been a part of my life. Every Saturday I have planned my Fall Saturdays around Florida Gators football. Over the years I have attended numerous games at The Swamp. There is nothing like it. I have been to other college stadiums and NFL games, but nothing compares to sitting in The Swamp on a Saturday with over 90,000 of my closest friends.

Even being grown and married, very little has changed on any given Saturday afternoon in the fall.  The Florida Gators are still the team to root for on those Fall Saturdays. Southeastern Football is still the programming of choice. Those Saturdays are still filled with get togethers or at least texting family and friends throughout the game.

College football is still a special time in the South at any age. Go Gators!! ~OC

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Bearers of the Mat

Today’s a new day!

“And when he returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at a home. And many were gathered together, so that there was no more room, not even at the door. And he was preaching the word to them. And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay.” ~Mark 2:1-4

I have always loved this story. It truly demonstrates the love of friends and our need for solid friendships. The four men in Mark 2, went beyond normal friendship and became “Bearers of the Mat.”

These four friends saw their friend needed a miracle in his life. They heard Jesus was in the area, so they decided to pick up their friend’s mat and get him to the Great Physician. We have no idea how far these four men had to walk carrying their friend, just to get to Jesus. No doubt they were exhausted by the time they reached the door of the house where Jesus was. There they found a new obstacle. The house where Jesus was speaking was beyond packed. But these four men persevered. Their friend needed a miracle and they were determined to get him to Jesus. Even if it meant carrying their friend to the roof and cutting a hole into the roof, so they could lower their friend into the room where Jesus was speaking. Can you imagine what a sight that must have been? What an amazing moment it must have been when after all that hard work, these four friends watched in awe as their friend was completely healed by Jesus. What a day of celebration that must have been.

Every time I read the story in Mark 2, two questions come to mind:

1). Do I have friends like these four men?

2). Am I a friend like these four men?

I pray we will all take the time to check our hearts as we reflect on these two questions. I truly believe Jesus wants each of us to serve one another willingly and wholeheartedly. Let’s become “Bearers of the Mat” ~OC

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