Tag: Crazy Beautiful Journey

A Night With Dementia and Parkinson’s

Good morning! I pray everyone is sleeping and will see this after a great night sleep.

I can tell tonight’s going to be one of the nights. I wrote the following to share what those sleepless, hallucination filled nights are like. I wrote the following to give you a glimpse into my life with Dementia and Parkinson’s on most nights. ~OC

A Night With Dementia and Parkinson’s:

When it gets deep in the night

Where time seems to stand still

I can hear my heart beat and my thoughts screaming and that’s not always a good thing

It’s going to be one of those nights

Where sleep is a distant dream

Sometimes the voices get loud

And the hallucinations seem so real, I have to remind myself they’re not legit, just a short circuit in my brain

But through it all, I stand tall

Not allowing all those voices and thoughts to become real

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

I will focus on the prize

Not all the junk, this disease

tries to steal from my mind

I keep fighting, gettin off the canvas

I keep running towards the One who

clears the cobwebs and reminds me

I am His precious child

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

I will continue to fight through the

night, all the negative thoughts

that keep me from counting sheep

and getting a good night sleep

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

The giants who try to bring me

down at night, are no match for

the One who used a boy named David to bring down one of the biggest

giants of all

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

It’s time to be Brave

It’s time to keep Overcoming

It’s time to be Fearless

I am ready to Battle

Refusing to back down

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

I am focused on the mission

Not going to backdown

Not going to run away

Going to walk with the King

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

As the night slowly creeps on

I will press into the promises

of my King, thankful they get me

through another night, time to be

fearless and pray through it all

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

As the night moves on and

My thoughts begin to wonder

the adrenaline starts flowing

and God’s angels get moving

the morning light will soon come shining

So, I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

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Spoiler Alert

Today’s a new day! Spoiler Alert: God can use people who do not believe in him or call themselves Christians.

It is so easy to forget that God often uses non-Christians men and women to move His kingdom projects forward. It is a sad misunderstanding to assume God won’t, or can’t, use people who haven’t surrendered their life to Him. All throughout the scriptures we read numerous stories about how God used unbelievers to accomplish His great purposes. We cannot forget that people such as Moses weren’t the only instruments in God’s hand; God used the Pharaohs of the world too.

Furthermore, if we think evil is the only attribute God can use in pagans, then we’ve been misguided. God can use good qualities in ungodly people to accomplish His work too. One only needs to read the story of Rahab to see this play out. Check out Joshua 2:1-24.

Here’s a fact. Everyone who has ever walked this earth, was made in the image of God. Yes, we are all marked by sin and the sanctifying work of the Spirit helps the regenerate the brokenness, but all humans, saved or not, still carry God-like qualities deep inside.

The misguided view that God cannot use the good qualities of unbelievers for His plans could easily lead to an unhealthy us versus them mentality if we’re not careful. In reality God doesn’t side with Christians only, He sides with all humanity. Of course, God would love to reconcile the unbelieving world back to Himself, but He can use non-Christians and their good works to further that mission. Years ago, when I realized this fact, it revolutionized the way I view the world and the way I live. I began to see non-Christians for who they are and the wonderful talents they possess, instead of merely projects to be converted. This has motivated me to invite my non-Christian friends into the work/ministry I am involved with so they too can make a lasting difference just by offering a little bit of who they are.

So to my brothers and sisters in Christ, invite your non-Christians friends or friends of another faith to your next event. Their gifts could be a true blessing. ~OC

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Embrace Your “Can’t”

Today’s a new day! I used to tell people that the word “Can’t” should never be uttered from their mouth. I used to use the popular phrases “Just Do It,” and “Sleep when you’re dead.” Yes, I was that guy.

In today’s world, we are pushed and even encouraged to take on more and more, and we are seen as weak or strange when we are unable, or do not want to do so.

For me, this mindset came from my passion for life. It was fueled by a deep craving to achieve everything in life. It’s what made me intense, driven, competitive, and hardworking. It was who I was. Until I wasn’t.

As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for 22 years, it took me some time to come to terms with my “can’t.” Early on in my health journey, I constantly pushed through truly excruciating symptoms, like level 10 pain, exhaustion from weeks of no sleep, and unrelenting crushing fatigue even when I did sleep. I pulled myself together through constant life-threatening health issues, and participated in physical activities that I had no business attempting with a smile on my face (like running multiple marathons with no training) – while inside my body, my mind, and my spirit were dying a slow and agonizing death. Yet I still didn’t listen.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Because I believe I could have spared my body a lot of pain and damage, my mind a lot of anxiety, if I had just learned to accept, or even embraced my “can’t” earlier in my health journey. I would have also spared my bride from a lot of worrying.

I want to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. I hope you take the time to read and reflect on them.

1). “Can’t” Is Not Weakness:

The biggest hurdle when it comes to dealing with “can’t” is intimately understanding on a heart-knowledge level that being unable to do certain things because of your illness does not mean you are weak, lazy, unintelligent, or unmotivated. This is where I was stuck for a long time. I had believed my whole life that if I couldn’t perform at peak levels, it must be my fault and that I just wasn’t trying hard enough. So, when my illness started to seriously affect my work quality in the career I had worked so hard to achieve, I compared myself to those around me, and told myself that I was just “too stupid” or “lazy” to do the job. At times I listened to the lies that I was worthless.

Hello Over-Achiever. I want to talk to you directly now. You burn-the-candle-at-both-ends doers. You know-you-can-conquer-the-world types. You did not choose your health issues. You didn’t work hard your whole life just to become a “lazy” and “unmotivated” on a whim. That’s not you and that’s not what is happening in your life. It’s not a matter of motivation, drive, desire, or ambition. It’s not a matter of not trying hard enough. It’s a matter of your body revolting against the true self of your mind and spirit. It’s a matter of your earthly vessel failing the real and eternal you that lives inside. The true and eternal you is still the same as it has always been: driven, motivated, intelligent, and strong. Once you accept this and understand the gulf between the two “yous,” you can take strides to get your body back on board so that a more collected, collective you can get back to truly living.

Accepting your “can’t” isn’t weakness; it’s actually strength. It means that you are strong enough to look your health challenge squarely in the face and get after the business of Overcoming. It means that you are brave enough to accept that your life right now must take an unexpected detour. It means that you are willing to admit your physical “can’t” so that you can open your mind and spirit to what you can and must do to regain your health. And the only way you can allow your focus to properly shift to healing is to first completely embrace your illness and your “can’t.”

2. “Can’t” Allows Healing:

Sadly, it took me several years to embrace this truth. I am encouraging you not to wait. Because if you don’t fully believe and fully accept that you are sick, you will keep running the rat race. But if you look deep in your heart, listen to your body, and know in truth that you are sick, then you can accept it. Embrace it.

I cannot stress this enough. Because until you wholly feel the weight of it, until you embrace it and believe it, you can’t get truly angry about what your illness is stealing from you. And until you get angry you cannot mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare for the battle ahead of obtaining a full and accurate diagnosis, proper treatment, and hopefully better health. This is how coming to terms with your “can’t” sets you on the path to healing.

If you are in the early stages of your health journey, this next part may shock you. The medical system (at least in the United States) will not completely facilitate you regaining your health. Not at all. Unless you are exceptionally fortunate, your journey is not going to look like: get sick, see a doctor, get better. No, if you have a chronic or complex illness, generally speaking you need to prepare for battle. You need to arm yourself with knowledge and with the mental fortitude to be your own advocate. You need to prepare to fight for your life. You need to push for answers and drive the process. No one else will or can do it for you.

This is why embracing your “can’t” is so important. Because when you truly realize what you “can’t,” you get really, really angry at this invisible thief of life that is your illness. I don’t mean “bitter” angry, I mean “motivated and determined” angry. And you’re going to need that determination to drive the (sometimes grueling) battle that lies before you. And that drive to press forward in the battle is the only thing that will lead you to wellness.

It’s all you, Warrior! So get really angry at your “can’t” and resolve in your mind to do everything you humanly can to regain your health.

3. “Can’t” might be forever (But it’s not your identity): One of the more valuable pieces of advice I can share with you is that your “can’t” might be forever. That can be a difficult pill to swallow. But your “can’t “ does not need to become your identity. My life is much more than all the “limitations” I face on a daily basis. My life is full of hope, adventures and overcoming all the bumps in the road.

4. “Can’t” Makes Room for “Can”

Another critically important thing that coming to terms with your “can’t” does is that it makes room in your life for your “can.” Some of your “cans” may look something like:

1). I can make healthy, life-giving meals for myself to help my body heal.

2). I can research my illness for myself so that I have the knowledge to ask good questions at my appointments and to make educated treatment decisions.

3). I can maintain a positive attitude, despite how I feel.

4). I can make time for self-care activities that will help my body.

5). I can surround myself with people who encourage me in my health journey.

6). I can purposefully structure my life so that it supports wellness and healing.

7). Even though I couldn’t yesterday, today I can go for a short walk or bike ride.

8). This morning, I can rise early and sit peacefully to watch the sun rise

9). Right now, I can make positive choices to help with the symptoms I’m experiencing.

10). Don’t get hung up on committing to daily schedules of “cans” or expecting some type of minimum performance of “cans.” While it’s absolutely important to have bigger, more overarching “can” goals, embrace what you can do today and accept that tomorrow’s “cans” may look very different based on your health. Every day is a new opportunity to discover and put into practice the things you can do.

Here are some practical steps that can be used to work towards peace with your current “can’t:”

1. Pray

2. Journal

3. Reach out to family/friends

4. Reach out for professional help if needed

Coming to terms with your “can’t” may be difficult, but it’s so important and it opens the way for healing and wellness to come in time. You are unbelievably strong to live with your symptoms day in and day out and even stronger to accept and face such a challenge head on. Be encouraged that your “can’t” is just for right now and that nothing we face on this side of Heaven is forever. ~OC

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Vote with Love

Today’s a new day! Sadly, Christian Nationalism will be on every ballot this election season and the consequences for communities of faith — and for the practice of open government — have seldom been graver than this one.

As a white person of faith, I will embrace the opportunity to vote against every candidate who embraces or refuses to speak out against the hate of Christian Nationalism. On November 5th, I will take a stand against this ungodly theology and choose to “Vote with Love.” ~OC

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History Lesson

Today’s a new day! As we start this new week, America is celebrating Columbus Day. It’s a National Holiday. Many state and federal buildings will be closed. No school for many students. Columbus Day was designated a National Holiday on October 12, 1972. But who was this man named Christopher Columbus that so many celebrate? If you do not know the truth about this man, here is some history you probably never learned in school.

Did you know we celebrate a man who never actually set foot on modern-day American soil? Christopher Columbus never stepped foot anywhere on North American soil.

Until his dying day this supposed great explorer maintained that the land he had “discovered” was Asia and not a new continent. Columbus was wrong of course, and needless to say, he didn’t actually discover anything — “America” had already been inhabited for thousands of years.

For a long time, Columbus’ discovery of America was an universally celebrated event, both in Europe and America. I remember studying about Columbus in elementary school. Wasn’t there a song about him? But as awareness has grown about the catastrophic effect his supposed discovery had on America’s indigenous populations, it has increasingly been viewed as a disaster rather than triumph, and rightly so. As a direct result of Columbus “discovery”, indigenous Americans were enslaved, killed and oppressed to such a degree that a population of around 60 million in 1492, fell by 80–90% in less than 150 years. Facts! Not made up stories.

So if in 2024, you still think Columbus Day is something worth celebrating, here are five other reasons why it really isn’t:

He wasn’t a particularly good Navigator:

After studying a handful of his favorite books, including the journals of Marco Polo, Columbus became convinced that it was possible to sail directly west to reach the “Indies”, as China, Japan and India were then known as in Europe. He completely miscalculated the distance between Europe and Japan however, estimating it to be around 2,000 nautical miles when the real distance is closer to 11,000. Columbus was definitely a lucky captain, but his navigational skills left a lot to be desired.

He was selfish and dishonest:

On his first voyage, Columbus promised the crew on his three ships (Santa Maria, Pinta and Santa Clara) that the first person who spotted land would receive a lifetime pension. Land was first spotted by Rodrigo de Triana, a lookout on the Pinta, and thereafter by its captain Martin Alonso Pinzo, who notified Columbus. What Columbus did next was nothing less than shameful. He falsely claimed that he had spotted land a few hours before Triana and Pinzo, but that he hadn’t said anything in case it was a false alarm. He thereby claimed the lifetime pension for himself, cheating the rightful claimant out of both glory and a significant amount of money.

He was personally responsible for Brutality:

Upon arriving in the New World, one of the first observations Columbus made with regards to the indigenous people was the following:

“They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance. They have no iron. Their spears are made of cane. They would make fine servants. With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want.”

This was a sign of things to come. After Columbus established the first Spanish colony at La Isabela, on the north coast of Hispaniola (modern-day Dominican Republic), relations between the Spanish and the indigenous population quickly deteriorated. The natives were removed from their villages to work in gold mines and colonial plantations. This kept them from planting crops, leading to widespread starvation. Some committed suicide to avoid subjugation, others fled, but many rebelled. In response to the rebellion, Columbus ordered a brutal crackdown in which many natives were killed, and their dismembered bodies paraded through the streets. Within a few decades, only a few hundred of an original native population of 300,000 remained.

He was Stubborn:

Even after spending his whole career exploring the Caribbean, Columbus never at any point thought he had landed anywhere other than his intended destination, Asia. When confronted with evidence to the contrary, he simply could not conceive of the the idea that he might be wrong. Despite not finding any of the places that his favorite books described (places in China, India and Japan), he convinced himself that they were just around the corner. He even made his crew swear an oath that Cuba was not an island but indeed the mainland of Asia, and that China could be reached overland from there.

He wasn’t the first to travel from

Europe to America:

The Vikings sailed to, and colonized parts of Newfoundland, Canada, around AD 1000. Many believe that they sailed even further south, maybe as far as New Brunswick. In any case, we know for a fact that Europeans traveled to America almost 500 years before Columbus. There are also theories that the Irish arrived far before the Vikings, and that the Chinese and Polynesians may also have visited the Americas before Columbus.

So, there you have it; five reasons not to celebrate Columbus Day this year (or any other year).

Instead of celebrating the falsehoods of Christopher Columbus today, take time to remember the Native Americans who have been brutalized by “Conquering Heroes” over the decades. They are the only true Americans. The rest of us are immigrants from around the world. ~OC

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Embrace the Detours

Good Morning! Today’s a new day! This time 21 years ago, I was arriving at the hospital to have a golfball sized cancerous tumor removed from my chest. A lot of memories from that day. My mom and mom-in-love coming to take care of Laura and I. Family/friends hanging out at the hospital to pray and support Laura. The power going out at the hospital right before surgery. God giving me a vision during surgery that I would start running marathons and sharing my story (I was blessed to run 350 marathons). The doctor telling me that the team had gotten all of the tumor. Jesus was in the mist of the whole thing. Thankful He has blessed me with 21 more adventurous crazy beautiful years. Twenty-One years ago today the Today’s A New Day! writings started. As I continue walking through health issues, I encourage everyone to embrace the detours of life. ~OC

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Go Fly!

Today’s a new day! As I continue to deal with the effects of Lewy Body Dementia, sometimes my thoughts take me to a place that doesn’t always make sense. But sometimes, I am blessed with a word, thought or phrase that might not make sense to me at the time, but as I unpack it and begin to pray about it, all the sudden things become a bit more clear to me. Let me give you an example.

A few weeks ago, I saw a butterfly fly by me as I was sitting on my balcony. Like most of you, I have seen hundreds of butterflies in my lifetime. But that day, God impressed upon me to type the word butterfly down in my notes. So I did and did not think anymore about it until a few days ago. The following is what God showed me and I thought I would share it with you.

I often wonder if a butterfly ever goes back to thinking like a caterpillar once it has undergone chrysalis. Does the butterfly ever think, “Man, I had it so good when I had to crawl everywhere and ate leaves?” Or does the butterfly look to its new life where it can fly, go places faster and eat the sweet pollen from flowers and think I will never go back to crawling? I’m guessing the latter because I have never seen a butterfly eat leaves or crawl around.

I wonder then why we often go back to our old ways of stinky thinking and our old ways of life once we have asked God into our lives. We have been set free from a life shackled and earth bound to a life of a high calling in Jesus. Scripture says that all things have become new and we are a new creation. We have to put away our old way of thinking.

In Ephesians 4:23, we read that we should let the spirit renew our thoughts and attitudes and to put on our new nature. That can be easier said than done when our old life keeps wanting to creep back in and disrupt our new life. Our old life wants to come back out and do things that it used to do before we accepted a new life in God

The following are a few things I believe we can do to help us live the life God has chosen just for us.

1). Change Our Environment:

We cannot change our thinking and our life until we change our environment. The butterfly has to flap its wings and leave the leaf so it can find new life. You and I are called to come out from among them and to be separate. If we never leave our old life, we will never be all that God intended us to be.

We have to find new places to hang out and feed ourselves good things. It can be hard to leave the old things behind, but if those things are holding us down, we have no choice. That could mean distancing ourselves from old friends who might want to pull us back into our old habits. We were meant to fly. So we need to spread our wings and trust God to help us navigate this new life.

2. Change What You Put in Your Mind:

The butterfly no longer eats what it used to. Its appetite changed and so did its taste. As a Christian, our spiritual appetite and tastes must change. We cannot walk through this new life eating, drinking and talking like our old selves. It is unhealthy for our new selves to continue consuming our old diet. Plus, I find as we start consuming new healthy things our bodies will not want the junk our bodies used to crave as much.

3. Embrace Your New Life:

Our new life should not only bring glory to God, but also light to others. When we see a caterpillar and a butterfly, we think two different things. The caterpillar is destructive to plants and is not very attractive. But the butterfly brings life to other plants and is beautiful. Our lives should have that kind of change.

We are called to live and walk in the light. We are to bring life to those around us and not destruction. People should be able to see a difference in our new lives. We should embrace who God has created us to be and strive to live the life we were meant to live. If we do that, we cannot help but to soar. So, go fly! ~OC

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Transformed Nonconformist

Today’s a new day! Did you know there are 1,430 hate groups in the United States alone. Sadly, those numbers are growing. While many tend to be small, they have political power and want to see unrest across America.

Hate groups will continue to poison hearts, stir up violence, and polarize people in 2024 and beyond. So to gear up for these challenges, I reflected back on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s book Strength to Love. I encourage you to check it out.

The book is a fascinating read, but one of the phrases Dr. King used truly grabbed my attention. Dr. King calls us to be “Transformed Nonconformist” Here is the scripture that Dr. King used to come up with this beautiful term.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2).

Transformed nonconformists reject racism, discrimination, hatred and anything that tears our society apart and tries to divide us.

Transformed nonconformists break the chain reaction of evil by refusing to “fight fire with fire.”

Why? Because as Dr. King explains, “Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence… in a descending spiral of destruction” This is one of the main reasons for not responding in kind to evil. In the powerful words of Mahatma Ghandi, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

The second part of Romans 12 describes the divine reason we break the chain reaction of evil. The Scriptures command us to conquer hate through the power of love:

*Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (v. 14).

*Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone (v. 17).

*If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (v. 18).

*Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath (v. 19).

*If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink… (v. 20).

*Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (v. 21).

These commands indicate that a transformed nonconformist is in fact a peacemaker. And these peacemakers break the chain reaction of evil – through suffering, absorbing pain and responding in love.  

Peacemaking is not for the faint of heart. Peacemaking demands an uncompromising rejection of the unloving ways of the world and a radical embrace of the enemy-loving way of Jesus.

I read an article once where a civil rights worker was asked how he was able to endure racial hatred and violence while working for justice. “The hatred coming at me in those fists and clubs was bouncing right off me back into the air, and it could just continue to spread like electricity. I decided not to fight back. I would let my body absorb that hatred, so that some of it would die in my body and not bounce back into the world. I now see that my job in the midst of evil is to make my body a grave for hate.”

Did you catch that last sentence? “Making my body a grave for hate.” That sounds scary. It is! That is why I chose to follow Jesus – the one who made his body a grave for hate, the one who rose from the grave, and the one who said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you” (John 20:21).

I pray you will join me on this journey of Love over hate. ~OC

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Comfort Zone

Today’s a new day! Are you planted in your comfort zone? It’s so easy to live in our comfort zones. So many people say they want God to move in their lives, but when God shakes things up, so many people decide to hide under their covers. Our comfort zones are so comfortable. So predictable. So convenient. But remember, nothing ever grows in the comfort zone. So today, make the choice to step out of your comfort zone. ~OC

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Experiencing Peace

Today’s a new day! Along this journey called life, we all deal with fear. Fear can hit us during what we thought would be a routine doctors appointment. Fear can hit us when test result comes back with more questions than answers. Fear can hit us when we watch the news or scroll through social media. We have all experienced fear in our lives.

Back in 2003, one of my doctors called me early one morning and shared he needed to see me right away. Then he made the comment “Oh and make sure you bring your wife.” A little fear hit me at that moment. Later when the doctor shared I had a tumor, the fear grew a little deeper. Fear, worry and anxiety. My wife and I experienced all those feelings sitting in that doctor’s office.

A few weeks later a biopsy revealed the tumor was the size of golfball and was cancerous. Once again, fear, worry and anxiety smacked me in the face. Things seemed overwhelming at that point.

Then something amazing happened. As I laid in ICU hooked up to several machines, God took away the fear, worry and anxiety. Those feelings were replaced by peace, calmness and even joy. Yes, joy. What changed?

God reminded me of the week long fast I had done a year earlier during a missions trip. He revealed the reason I had fasted was to prepare me for this very moment. Peace flooded my room and heart at that moment. In that moment, I completely turned my health situation over to Jesus and trusted Him to walk me through my unknown future.

Even though I had been filled with fear, anxiety and worry, Jesus was right there with me. He shared hope, love and peace even as I was overwhelmed with so many different emotions. God never abandoned me in my time of need.

During that moment, I still had to deal with life as a cancer patient. But that unknown did not overwhelm me anymore. Jesus reminded me that He was bigger than any health issue I would ever face. I am thankful, I did not know my future would be full of more health issues, test, multiple doctors appointments and hospital stays. No, at that moment I was just filled with peace. A peace that has never left me.

Here I am in 2024, after overcoming so much, but still dealing with so many health issues. Fear and worry try to overwhelm me at times, but I am still experiencing that same peace and joy I experienced in that ICU room so many years ago. Knowing that Jesus is still bigger than anything life throws at me. Still living life with a thankful heart. ~OC

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