Tag: Dementia

A Night With Dementia and Parkinson’s

Good morning! I pray everyone is sleeping and will see this after a great night sleep.

I can tell tonight’s going to be one of the nights. I wrote the following to share what those sleepless, hallucination filled nights are like. I wrote the following to give you a glimpse into my life with Dementia and Parkinson’s on most nights. ~OC

A Night With Dementia and Parkinson’s:

When it gets deep in the night

Where time seems to stand still

I can hear my heart beat and my thoughts screaming and that’s not always a good thing

It’s going to be one of those nights

Where sleep is a distant dream

Sometimes the voices get loud

And the hallucinations seem so real, I have to remind myself they’re not legit, just a short circuit in my brain

But through it all, I stand tall

Not allowing all those voices and thoughts to become real

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

I will focus on the prize

Not all the junk, this disease

tries to steal from my mind

I keep fighting, gettin off the canvas

I keep running towards the One who

clears the cobwebs and reminds me

I am His precious child

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

I will continue to fight through the

night, all the negative thoughts

that keep me from counting sheep

and getting a good night sleep

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

The giants who try to bring me

down at night, are no match for

the One who used a boy named David to bring down one of the biggest

giants of all

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

It’s time to be Brave

It’s time to keep Overcoming

It’s time to be Fearless

I am ready to Battle

Refusing to back down

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

I am focused on the mission

Not going to backdown

Not going to run away

Going to walk with the King

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

As the night slowly creeps on

I will press into the promises

of my King, thankful they get me

through another night, time to be

fearless and pray through it all

I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

As the night moves on and

My thoughts begin to wonder

the adrenaline starts flowing

and God’s angels get moving

the morning light will soon come shining

So, I will keep standing tall

Lifting up my prayers

to the One who created it all

I will keep fighting, refusing to fall

choosing to embrace faith over it all

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3AM

Some mornings when I wake up early, I feel God using that time in an amazing way. But I have to be honest, some days those early mornings are tough. Today is one of those days. Let me share an early morning with Parkinson’s and dementia.

Today’s a new day! So it’s 3am and my brain is fully awake
I have been up since before 1am, but who’s counting? I am! Some days I wonder how my brain knows it’s 3am or earlier
Some days I wonder if my brain and I are on the same page

Oh, all the voices and noises
It can be a little scary, but I am thankful I haven’t gone a little insane

I think about my 3am folks going through the same, I wish I could reach out and lend each a helping hand

This early morning I look up to the sky
And sometimes wonder why my brain is so different
Some mornings I just want to cry
I wish I could just open my brain and hit the reset button, but that’s just a dream

On these crazy mornings, I wish it was just a phase
But I been running this race for too long for it to just be a phase
But a brother can still dream
Oh, wait a second you have to sleep to have a dream
There will be no more dreaming on this morning

All the voices and noises
It’s crazy, and I am thankful I haven’t gone mad
Thankful the voices don’t call me to danger
I wonder who’s up at 3am and would not freak if I rang them?

So at 3 am I go out on the balcony
And I talk to God, thank goodness He always takes my call
It’s 3am am I look up and pray

On mornings like this, I do not feel like anyone else

I feel like a stranger

It’s 3 am, once again
Talking to God because He always answers when I call
He reminds me that I am not like anyone else
That I am unique and wonderfully made,
That gives me some peace
I bet God gets a lot of calls at 3am
That gives me comfort as I look out over the night sky and I pray. ~OC

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The Journey

Today’s a new day! Cancer, Parkinson’s, Myasthenia Gravis, Gastroparesis Type 2 Diabetes (Steroid Induced) and Dementia. No person would ever want to be diagnosed with just one of these diseases. But ring the bell, chicken dinner, I have been diagnosed with all six. Thankfully, I have been cancer free for many years. But when faced with multiple diseases it does little good to sit around and complain about it. No, I have decided to run with it, embrace it and see where God takes this crazy beautiful health journey. ~OC

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A Beautiful Gift

Today’s a new day! It’s only been a week since I was given the diagnosis of dementia. But the symptoms have been showing for a number of years. Since my diagnosis life has been filled with many phone calls and text from concerned family and friends. I appreciate them all. In the past week, here are some things I have thought about as I begin my journey with dementia.

My dementia diagnosis does not define me. Although the diagnosis is life changing, I will not allow it to change who I am. I will fight that battle for as long as I can. I will continue to love people the way I always have. Probably a little more. I totally understand dementia is a progressive disease and I may not be able to do all the things I once did, but I want to continue doing the things I enjoy for as long as I can.

If you want to know how I am doing, just ask me. The sudden change in how others communicate with me since my diagnosis has been a little frustrating. Trying to avoid conversations about my diagnosis of dementia will only make me feel uncomfortable and isolated. I am still me. For now.

Yes, the diagnosis is correct. I wish it wasn’t, but it is. Younger people can be diagnosed with dementia. While the vast majority of people are affected by dementia at an older age, the disease can affect younger individuals. If you have concerns about your own cognition, I encourage you to get checked out regardless of your age.

Please don’t debate my diagnosis or tell me I don’t look like I have dementia. Do not attempt to dismiss the diagnosis. Those responses can be offensive. It is hard enough to tell someone I have dementia , let alone having to defend it. You may not see my dementia, but I live with it every day.

Please understand that sometimes my words and actions will not be the true me. It’s the dementia. As the disease progresses, I might deal with anxiety, confusion and a host of other issues. There are days I may want to sleep more. Remember, I am still me, just a little different.

My dementia diagnosis does not mean my life is over. I plan on continuing to live an active and memory filled life as long as possible. Laura and I plan on continuing to embrace life to its fullest.

So please keep reaching out and treating me the same old way. Social interactions are very important to my wellbeing. So do not be afraid to call, come by the condo or plan a time to meet. My life continues to be a beautiful gift. ~OC

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