My Life With Dementia

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have always wanted to be upfront and honest when sharing my journey with you. So this morning, I want to share a post I have been working on for several weeks. It’s my life with dementia. I apologize in advance for the long post.

When I was diagnosed with young onset dementia last year, part of me thought there has to be a mistake, but it was also a relief to have some answers on why my life seemed a little out of focus. But it was still hard to hear “you have dementia.” Like so many people diagnosed with young-onset dementia, I was still planning a future with my bride. How was dementia showing up in my 50’s?

But here I am, almost a year later.

What I have learned is a dementia diagnosis isn’t the end of life. It just means life looks a little different.

Of course my life has looked a little different for the last twenty-three years dealing with multiple health issues. But over the last two decades, my faith and life experiences have taught me it’s possible to live a fulfilling, purposeful, and even joyful life even while dealing with the uncertainty of declining health. A diagnosis of dementia was not going to change that. At least I hope and pray that will be the case.

So as I walk out this journey called dementia, I wanted to share a few things that are working for me. This is not a neat how to live with dementia list, because dementia is not an easy follow these instructions and everything will be okay disease. No, dementia is a unpredictable roller coaster ride. Every day brings new challenges, but also new opportunities.

My hope and prayer is that this blog post will help create conversations. If you’re living with dementia, or supporting someone who is, I hope these tools help you live a full life regardless of the diagnosis.

My Dementia Toolbox:

I choose to live each day with Hope and Purpose.

I choose to live a life full of new adventures. Never stop making memories with family and friends.

I choose to maintain my independence as long as possible.

I choose to continue connecting with family and friends.

I choose to adapt to the changes dementia brings and never give up.

I choose to hold onto my identity and what makes me “me.”

I choose to keep learning new things each day.

I choose to live out my life and faith.

I choose not to avoid the declines that dementia brings, but to make the most out of every day and refuse to let dementia silence me.

Finally, living with dementia is not an easy journey. There are moments of loss and frustration, but there are also unexpected discoveries, laughs, and the good will of family and friends. ~OC

Breakthrough

Good morning! As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey the last twenty-three years, I have had many moments where I needed a breakthrough from God. As we walk into a new week filled with new challenges, I want to share some things I have done when I needed a breakthrough at different moments in my life.

Pray: This may seem obvious, but sometimes we get so caught up in the roller coaster of life we forget to pray.

But prayer should never be our last resort. It should be the first thing we do when facing challenges in life. We also need to call on some trusted friends to pray on our behalf.

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope.” ~Psalm 130:5

Fast: When coupled with prayer, fasting is a powerful tool to use when you need a breakthrough. And fasting doesn’t mean you have to give up food. A fast is about sacrificing something, so you can clearly hear from God. He may asked you to give up social media, a hobby or tv. Some things do not break with just prayer alone. When you need a breakthrough, fasting is crucial to seeing it come to pass.

“So we fasted and implored our God for this, and he listened to our entreaty.” ~Ezra 8:23

Build Your Faith: I’m just going to be straight up with you: Every breakthrough that I have personally experienced came from leaning into the promises of God. Thankfully, He is so gracious that He has not left us to figure out how to grow in our faith on our own.

“So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” ~Romans 10:17

Be Patient and Consistent: As I share this last point, I must warn you that breakthroughs can take time. The breakthrough you need may not come the first time you pray – or the hundredth. It may take weeks or even years. We cannot control the time, but we know that God can. He is always faithful. Our part is to stay consistent. So keep on praying. Keep on fasting. Keep on listening to the word. Keep believing in God. Your day of breakthrough will happen in God’s perfect timing for you.

If you’re waiting for your breakthrough the best thing you can do is remember that it will come at the perfect time. So press in to God and be patient. Your Breakthrough is coming! ~OC

The Joy Robber

Today’s a new day! The Challenge for the day is: Stop comparing yourself to others.

Living a life of comparison is tiring and a big fat lie. When we look at someone else’s life, all we usually see is the surface. We usually do not see what is behind that amazing smile or what we consider a perfect life.

When we compare someone’s outside appearance with our current situation we do them and ourselves a disservice. Living a life of comparison is hurtful to everyone. I am convinced that comparison is one of the biggest joy-robbers and dream-destroyer in a person’s life.

The Joy Robber wedges its ugly self right in the middle of what God is calling us to do: write a book, apply for a new job, go on that mission trip or start a Bible study. Nothing will kill a dream faster than looking at the life of someone who’s already living your dream, then believing it’s too good for you.

When we compare ourselves to others we forget the value of our own lives. We forget that God created each of us in a unique and beautiful way. There is only one you.

If we truly want to live a life full of joy and purpose, we have to stop comparing ourselves to others. Life is not a competition. Life is so much better when we’re living out the gifts and talents God has given each of us. When we’re living out our purpose and not trying to be someone else.

So today, make the decision to start living out the life God created just for you and stop comparing yourself with someone else. Make it a great day! ~OC

Truly Living

Today’s a new day! Are you just merely existing in this journey called life?

As I look around me, I see so many people who are just walking through the motions of everyday life, but they are not truly living life. They are not embracing it. For whatever ever reason they have stopped living before their hearts stopped beating. 

As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for the past twenty-three years, I have learned that living a meaningful life has nothing to do with how much money you have in the bank or the materialistic things that you may possess. To truly live has nothing to do with your status in life.

To truly live life is to appreciate everything that you are. To live your life being aware of all your shortcomings but still loving yourself. To understand that those imperfections are part of who you are. To realize that you do not need to change anything about yourself to just impress others. Make changes because they make you a better person. To understand that you are far from perfect but you are unique. There is only one of you walking on this earth. To truly live is to be happy with the person that God uniquely created…You.

To truly live life means to take that trip now, instead of waiting for the right time. The right time is now. A lot can happen in life between now and the right time. Choose to embrace adventure now.

To truly live life means to be in the present, to live in the moment and not waste your time dwelling on the past, or what could have been. To let go of what has happened and focus on what you can do right now to live a better life. To be a better person.

To truly live means to appreciate everything around you. To take time to watch the sunrise or sunset, listen to the birds singing, sit by the ocean or call up some friends to get together to just celebrate living.

To truly live life is to be okay expressing your feelings. To accept that sometimes we need to laugh, cry or scream. To allow yourself to grieve and heal.

To truly live life is to appreciate each moment. To find awesomeness and wander in every day life. To make the choice to get up every day and try to make the best of every day because you don’t know if you’ll be here tomorrow. To try and learn something from each of your life experiences.

To truly live life is to spend time with friends and loved ones. To surround yourself with those that encourage, challenge and inspire you to live your best life.

To truly live life is to find your purpose and live it out. To chase after your hopes and dreams and then go out and accomplish them. To never give up!

To truly live life is to be kind and respectful to others. To buy breakfast for the person in line behind you. To reach out to family and friends to let them know how much they mean to you. To smile at a stranger. To take time to do one selfless act, big or small, on a regular basis. To truly live is to try to make a difference in your part of the world. 

To truly live life is to make the world a better place for the next generation. This one life is a beautiful gift. Embrace it! ~OC

A Flicker

Today’s a new day! As this crazy beautiful health journey gets a little tougher each day, I want to take some time to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. The following has been written over a series of weeks and months. I hope it brings a time of reflection as you walk out your own journey.

  • Do not waste your time on things that you don’t enjoy. I have learned it’s hard to succeed in something that you don’t like. Patience, passion, and dedication come more easily when you love what you do.
  • Do not be concerned over other people’s opinions. Being caught up in others opinions can weaken and paralyze you. If you let it, it can grow worse and worse every day until there is nothing left of you, but a empty shell of yourself. Listen to God’s voice and go with it. Some people may call you crazy, but many may be encouraged by your choices.
  • Do not allow any person or situation to control your life. Take full responsibility for your actions. Limit bad habits and try to lead a healthier lifestyle. Find a hobby that makes you happy. Most of all, do not procrastinate. Make the most of each day. Let your life be shaped by the decisions you make not by the ones you didn’t.
  • Do not be so busy, that life slips past you. Appreciate the people around you. May your friends and family always be a source of strength and love. Never take them for granted.

It is difficult for me to fully express my feelings about the importance of these simple realizations, but I hope that you will listen to someone who has experienced how valuable time is.

I am not upset or scared about what lies ahead because this health journey has helped bring meaning and purpose to my life. Each day is a beautiful gift to be celebrated. So every day, I take some time to take it all in. Time is truly a beautiful gift.

As I continue to run this health journey, I have learned that everyone has potential. But potential means nothing without the courage to realize it. To believe that God has given each of us purpose in this life. To turn that purpose into amazing opportunities.

We can move through a life created by circumstances, missed moments and opportunities or we can strive for what we believe in and write the amazing story of our life. I hope you will make the right choice.

I pray you will leave a positive mark on this world. That your life will be filled with hope and meaning. Life is a beautiful playground, where dreams are possible. Yet, we are not here forever. Our life is a short spark in this beautiful world that flies by with incredible speed. So, live your life with meaning and passion. Embrace every moment. Make it spectacular. Make it count! ~OC

Men and Mental Health

Today, I am writing about a tough subject but one I believe is very important. As many of you know, my current health issues make it very difficult to share or write down my thoughts. I have actually been working on this piece for several months. I know it’s rather long, but I hope you will take the time to read it. Also, even though my health issues are of a physical nature, this health journey has been filled with moments of sadness and feeling a bit lost.

Today’s a new day! June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. I speak with so many men who feel the need to take care of everyone else, but tend to ignore the issues going on in their own lives. So men, today I want to share a little about taking care of yourself.

We have all heard the age-old saying, “Real men don’t cry.” As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey, I have tried very hard to take a stand against this toxic perspective because real men indeed cry, laugh, hurt, and heal. It’s about time that we stop being afraid to talk about men’s mental health, the different struggles we deal with and start speaking some truth. It’s time to get real.

So, why is it that men’s mental health is still stuck back in the 1950’s in so many ways?

In a world that often misunderstands and judges men for showing some emotions and having real conversations, it can be frightening to bare our souls, not for sympathy or attention, but for connection and understanding. I am often asked why I have chosen to be so open and transparent about my health battle? Well, simply– it is therapeutic for me, and I hope it offers a beacon of hope and understanding to someone out there, walking through their own struggles.

From a young age, the world dictates a playbook on “How to Be a Man,’ essentially promoting a culture where men feel the need to wear a mask, suppressing their true feelings and emotions.

But I believe it’s time to ditch that old playbook and rewrite a new one. A playbook that is open to real conversations. A playbook that encourages men to reach out to other men and discuss the tough issues that we have been taught to suppress. It’s time for real talk. It’s alright to feel, to break down, and to reach out.

I believe many men are concerned about being judged for sharing their feelings and being real. Sharing my experiences and being vulnerable hasn’t always been a walk in the park. In fact, at times it’s like walking a tightrope balancing between being open and the fear of being misunderstood or judged.

But, we must get past the fear of being judged so we can experience true healing. As I have shared my own story, not only have I experienced healing but have seen the power of healing touch other lives around me.

Yes, men’s mental health is indeed a real thing and let us not turn a deaf ear to this issue, but lend a listening one, a shoulder to lean on, and an encouraging word to someone walking through a tough season.

So, how do we rewrite the playbook on men’s mental health? It starts with you and me. It begins with acknowledging that mental health is not a sign of weakness, it is not a cry for attention, but a genuine call for help.

If you or someone you know is dealing with some mental health issues, I encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your strength and courage to fight back.

The road to unmasking and understanding men’s mental health is a journey filled with speed bumps, turns, and rocky roads. But I encourage you to embrace the journey with all its imperfections and challenges.

In conclusion, remember that it’s alright to stumble, to fall, but most importantly, to rise again, with a life filled with hope, passion, purpose and laughter. Never forget you matter, you belong and you’re loved. ~OC

A Night of Prayer

Hello. As I sit here at 10:00pm, I have this feeling God is calling me to a time of prayer tonight. That could be a few hours of prayer or it could mean a whole night of prayer. As I prepare my heart for whatever tonight holds, I want you to know I will be praying for you. If you happen to be up and need specific prayers, please feel free to reach out to me. I pray everyone has as a peaceful and restful night. God Bless. ~OC

Ending the day with God is just as important as when you begin. Another day is ending, and maybe you’re you looking for a way to give your dreams to God, forgive the wrongs of the day, or ask the Spirit to speak to you in your sleep. If you’re unsure what to say as you face another long night or a challenging tomorrow, you might like to pray along with these prayers and make Him the Lord of your nights.

From sunrise to sunset, let the Lord’s name be praised! Psalm 113:3

Thanks for Your Faithfulness

Heavenly Father, my day is drawing to an end, and I’m ready to turn in. But before I do, I have to thank you for your faithfulness today. It’s always a good day, even when things may not go the way I plan, or when the world seems in chaos, because you are in control.

Thanks for Your Unseen Presence

For all the times when I was aware of your help today, all the times when your unseen presence seemed so near, thank you, God. But for all the ways you worked behind the scenes, unknown to me, moments when heaven-sent angels moved on my behalf in ways I’ll never know, thank you for those also, Lord.

Thanks for Your Love and Forgiveness

Forgive me for any foolish actions on my part today or things I did without first asking your blessing or wisdom. Those are moments I would rather forget, but I am so grateful for your forgiveness when I ask. I never want to go to bed without clearing the air between us, Lord. Our friendship means too much, and your holiness deserves that. Thank you for loving me just as I an. Your love compels me to give you my all and fill my heart with praise for the relationship I share because of you sweet Jesus.

May Your Love Touch Others

As my family and friends close their eyes tonight, I am praying for each of them and praying they each would come to know You. I am praying that your love, like the countless number of stars in the night sky, will touch them and help them see who you truly are. I pray for our world and everyone in it. I pray for each of their needs to be met.

Grant Sleep, Refreshment, and Protection

Grant each with a good night’s sleep tonight, God, so that they can awake refreshed and ready to begin another day loving you. Thank you again for blessings so undeserved and too numerous to count. I long for the word “faithful” to describe our service to you, each day of every year. When I awake in the morning, may it be with a joyful smile, not a grumpy spirit. May your protection and your presence bathe my home with peace and safety against the enemy. Good night, Lord.

In Jesus’s name we pray. Amen.

Dreams and Goals

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk out this crazy beautiful health journey, I want to continue sharing some wisdom and life lessons with you. I pray they will bring encouragement to all that takes the time to read my post.

Today’s Lesson:

Take time to think about a dream or goal you haven’t achieved yet. How have the efforts and experiences along the way contributed to your personal growth and development? In what ways have past “failures” taught you valuable lessons that you can apply to future pursuits? ~OC

True Friendship

Today’s a new day! My question of the day is, “What is a true friend?”

For me, a true friend will never, ever leave you no matter what life throws at you. It’s not important whether they are miles apart from you, as a true friend will always have you close to their heart. So distance never really matter.

Real and true friendship involves freedom of choice, accountability, truth, and forgiveness. Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the “packaging.” Genuine friendship loves for love’s sake, not just for what it can get in return. True friendships can be both challenging and rewarding. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though the truth may hurt.

Relationships in real life involve different levels of friendships, and that’s okay. Human beings were designed by God for lasting relationships. Often this world offers only vague, empty relationships. But God wants us to have true vibrant friendships here on earth. Friends are the best people whom we can share our thoughts, feelings, our success, failures, secrets, dreams, fears, hopes and everything. A friend is the best person who can safeguard our deepest secret and yet will not misjudge us or disown us. This is the greatest asset which gives us the courage to share our feelings.

A friend is a real reflection of our character and personality. Friends can also be a great source of inspiration and can take us to great levels. I believe friendships are essential to our happiness in life. Although the nature of friendship cannot be fully described, finding a true friend is a priceless gift that should be cherished at all phases of life.

The following is for all of my true friends who have walked with me through the sunshine and rain:

Friends are far, friends are near,
Friends will be there to lend an ear,
They listen, laugh, and care,
But most of all, they’re always there,
Through thick and thin,ups and downs, True friends are always around,
For big hugs and beautiful smiles,
They’ll travel to you even though the storms
They’ll always be there to hold your hand during the toughest times,
Anytime, no matter if it’s day or night,
You really know when your friends are sincere, When they always show up to lend a listening ear and a helping hand. I am thankful for all of my faithful friends. ~OC

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