Tag: Education

Be Your Own Best Healthcare Advocate

Today’s a new day! I have been what my bride calls a “Professional Patient” for almost twenty-three years now. During this journey, I have encountered health professionals who appeared to be more concerned about egos and status than they did my well-being. For some medical providers, I was just a name on a file who happened to have very good health insurance coverage. They knew more than me because they had the title of Doctor attached to their name. Being so foreign to how the world of healthcare worked, Laura and I just went along with whatever the doctors or medical professionals directed us to do. They’re the professionals. They know what’s best for me. Right? In the famous words of Lee Corso from GameDay on ESPN, “Not so fast my friend.”

As Laura and I began to navigate this new world called the healthcare system, we found out that the most important voices were our own. If we did not stand up for my medical needs, who else would? That’s when we realized we needed to become not only our own healthcare advocates, but we needed to help other patients walking through their own crazy beautiful health journey. We recognized being a “Professional Patient” was actually a full time job.

Over the years, we have had to privately and sometimes publicly voiced some of my medical concerns. Which is not naturally part of my DNA. Or so I thought. But this is my life and my health we are talking about. As Laura and I have weaved our way through the world of health challenges, here are some of the most important pieces of advice I believe I can offer for those walking through their own health journey.

* Do not wait to speak up and share your thoughts and concerns. You know your body better than anybody else. If something doesn’t feel right or sound right speak up. If your medical team truly cares for you they will welcome this dialogue.

*Do not be afraid to get a second or third opinion. This is your life. We only get one.

*Do not be afraid to change doctors or hospitals if needed. Find a medical team that you truly feel has your best interest at heart.

*Have a great support system that can speak up on your behalf when you are unable to.

*Never stop learning about new treatments and medications that pertain to your health issue. Do not hesitate to share that information with your medical team. Once again, if your medical team cares for your well-being they will welcome those conversations.

*Take the time if your health allows, to help someone else navigate through this overwhelming healthcare system .

*Remember, it’s called practicing medicine for a reason. Your doctor and medical staff are human. Mistakes can happen. Allow those to be a teaching moment for all parties involved. Be kind and respectful, but firm.

*Be patient with yourself and your medical team. The healthcare system can be messy, stressful and complicated. Do not be afraid to show a little grace to yourself and others.

I really hope this helps someone navigating through a maze called the healthcare system. Be Your Own Best Healthcare Advocate. ~OC

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Let’s Talk

Today’s a new day! This morning I want to discuss a tough issue for many in the Christian community. Mental Health. Unfortunately, many believers have made it difficult for those dealing with mental health issues to share and get the help they need.

Mental health issues can still be a highly stigmatized topic in the church. Although many Believers know the trials of occasional anxiety or having the blues, people with a diagnosed mental illness face unique challenges. Some are confronted by Christians who espouse false doctrine that health issues are a sign of unresolved sin or lack of faith. This is a Big Lie!

I want to encourage anyone dealing with mental health issues or any health issue to get the necessary medical care they need. There is nothing wrong with taking medications, having a therapist and loving Jesus all at the same time. There should be no shame or condemnation.

The same biblical truths that have encouraged Christians for centuries can encourage those who suffer with mental health today. I pray those walking through the trials of mental health will cling to these words of encouragement.

1. You Are Not Alone

God’s people have suffered—mentally, emotionally, and physically—since the fall in the garden. Even Jesus cried out in despair on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46), When we suffer, we are never alone. Never be afraid to reach out for help. Speaking openly about your mental health issues allows those around you to share their own struggles. This allows us all to come together and care for one another.

2). Stop Blaming Yourself. Stop listening to those who may try to put a spiritual guilt trip on you. Mental health issues are not a punishment for sin or lack of faith. As you walk through this journey, I encourage you to keep your eyes on God. He has some amazing plans for your life. Keep leaning into His beautiful promises.

3). Remember, God sees you, loves you and is always with you. Thankfully, we have a wonderful Savior who experiences emotions. As you walk through the effects of mental illness, remember the nearness of Christ. He weeps with you. God knows how He is going to work in and through each of our lives and is with us in the midst of all of our trials. By the amazing grace of God, he sent the Holy Spirit, our comforter and counselor, to be with us , to help us through every moment of life. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us (Romans 8:27). He is there for us when we do not have the words.

4). God’s Word Speaks to us (Romans 15:4).

The word of God isn’t afraid to talk about mental and emotional issues.

Keep the truth of God’s words close. Share them with a close friend, family member, or accountability partner who can remind you when you forget or when you do not have the energy or willpower to remind yourself.

The truth is some will deal with mental health issues for a lifetime. But remember, we can all rejoice in the greatness and sovereignty of our loving Savior. I pray that God will make known his love and strength in all of our struggles. ~OC

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Thoughts on Project 2025

Today’s a new day! I have always felt blessed to have been born and raised in America. Even with all the challenges our nation faces, I am thankful for all the beautiful opportunities. To enjoy the freedoms granted by our constitution’s amendments.

But as I sit and watch all the political ads, rallies and negative rhetoric, I have been struck by the division between our own sense of what it means to be a U.S. citizen and what we’re experiencing in this current election cycle.

By now most of us have heard of Project 2025, a presidential transition project for the next conservative president.

As I have read through Project 2025, I have seen how this project seeks to infuse the federal government with “Christian values,” but the policies it proposes do not reflect the values proclaimed by Jesus Christ.

Side note, before you share any thoughts negative or positive, make sure you have actually read this document.

Project 2025 outlines the efforts of various conservative organizations working together under the leadership of the Heritage Foundation to deconstruct the current administration by assembling a collection of candidates to be considered for hire in the next administration and providing online training for those individuals.

Project 2025 is a 180-day roadmap for the former president to hit the ground running if elected in November. The plan basically outlines four priorities:

*Restore the American family. There definition of the American family.

*Handcuff the bureaucracy. Once again, there definition of bureaucracy.

*Defend the nation by removing the U.S. from international organizations, sealing its borders, and increasing reliance on fossil fuels.

*And Finally, Project 2025 prioritizes the pursuit of happiness, which is startlingly interpreted as follows: “Our Constitution grants each of us the liberty to do not what we want, but what we ought. This pursuit of the good life is found primarily in family – marriage, children, Thanksgiving dinners, and the like.”

Knowing that Project 2025 and its supporters are hoping to “reshape our republic” in this fashion, I cannot sit around and not speak up and help educate. It breaks my heart to think about what our country and our freedoms will look like should this project be implemented. The recent denial from the former president about not knowing anything about Project 2025, does not change my concern over the project and the future of our country. America will never look the same if Project 2025 is implemented.

My concerns are not just about Project 2025, but I am angered by the attempt to co-opt Christianity in support of such radical policies. The kind of Christianity that is being described and embraced in the pages of this project are no where close to the words and actions of Jesus that we read about in the Bible.

I am saddened that so many Christians are less concerned about upholding the dignity of and providing for the needs of those who are most vulnerable in their society – widows, orphans, the imprisoned, the lgbtq+ community, women, those who are dealing with health issues, those who are disabled and those who are poor.

The earliest Christians banded together to share their resources with one another and give to those who were in need. Moreover, Christians throughout history have transcended national allegiances based on their faith, as their faith draws them toward mutual understanding and peaceful relationship with the whole of the human family.

It is true that Christianity has been co-opted throughout the centuries by various political rulers who have used it as a tool to accomplish their purposes (slavery, Jim Crow and dictatorships come to mind). And although some Christian leaders used their religion to achieve political power and prestige, there has always been a strong Christian community that resisted the co-opting of their faith for political purposes, resisted the temptation to join their faith to greed of all kinds, and resisted the joining of their faith with nationalism.

Today, I urge every Christian and all those interested in history not to allow Christianity to be co-opted by a political manifesto that wants to remove our freedom to be ourselves, with all of our differences; that wants to restrict so many freedoms; that wants to allow white supremacy to continue to poison our country’s citizens and communities; that wants to eliminate policies that grant basic dignities to poor people; and that cares only for economic gain to the detriment of our planet and our people.

I am urging everyone to reject Project 2025. I believe our future depends on it and our faith demands it. ~OC

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Labels

Today’s a new day! What label are you wearing today? Labels? Am I wearing a label? What does it say? Who gave you this label? If you’re wearing a label and it doesn’t reflect who God says you are, then it’s time to rip it off.

I remember when I was in 1st grade, the teacher Ms. Deer sat what she perceived as the “Smart Students” in the front of the class and the perceived “Not So Smart Students” in the back of the class. Without really knowing me, Ms. Deer placed me in the back row. There it was. The “label” I did not ask for, but that was the one that was placed on me. Ms. Deer had no idea that in that one moment, she would define who I was as a student for the rest of my academic career. As look back, I remember always sitting in the back of the class. That “label” Ms. Deer slapped on me may have been invisible to everyone else, but I saw it. I felt it.

We have to be so careful about the labels we slap on people. Because without knowing it, those labels can follow people the rest of their lives. Those labels can end up defining a person.

I am thankful, that I would later have teachers and professors that put a lot of time and effort into pushing me past that “average” label. But I must admit, that label was always in the back of my mind all of my academic career.

I am grateful that God does not look at me and slap on a “average” label. No, God looks at me and all of us and sees masterpieces. God takes the time to look past all the labels the world has put on us and sees that masterpiece. But we need to discover who we are in God. To truly believe who God says we are. Then we need to declare it. Take out that megaphone and shout it out to the world. ~OC

“As surely as I live, declares the Lord, I will do to you the very things I heard you say.” ~Numbers 14:28

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Chronic Illness and Friendships

Today’s a new day! This is an open letter about dealing with chronic illness and friendships. I apologize for the lengthiness of this post.

Dear Friends, I want to start off by saying, I have a few friends who have stuck by me every step of this health journey. We might not see or talk to each other every day, but we communicate often. I am thankful for each of them. The reason for this open letter is to share how chronic illness can affect a life. A friendship.

I am not angry with the friends who have walked away. I understand you never intended to hurt me. There was no malicious intent. But what unfolded was a by-product of the thoughtless-ness that is pervasive in our society.

As I walk through my crazy beautiful health journey, I have tried my best to stay in touch with friends. Either through visiting, social media, phone calls or text. Some have responded and some have not. A few believe I abandoned them, but I always tell them to check their phones. I will not own abandoning a friend if they do not respond to my phone calls or texts.

After I became very ill, the friendships I had built disappeared in stages. There was the initial drop-off. Hearing from them less and less. Then there were the ones I just never heard from again. Some were just friends on the outer edge, but a few had been close enough to have become like family.

The fact that some disappeared immediately actually made their absence less noticeable because, when I first became ill, I believed without a shadow of a doubt, I would be better soon, and our friendship would return. Sadly, time went on, and our friendship never returned. I had no cause to miss them at the beginning, and, by the time it became clear my illness was not short-term, their absence had become the norm. Chronic illness and friendships were seemingly not compatible.

There have been times I reach out to friends and while they answer, they make no real effort to continue the conversation. I try to keep the conversation going but eventually stop reaching out. Time is precious and I do not have time to waste.

On the occasions when friends do reach out and want to visit, I get excited only to be disappointed when they disappear for months or years. It’s as if they did their duty and reached out to me. They can check it off their list. Those friends circle around again when the guilt hits.

I remember when I experienced a miracle in my 18th year of being ill. Friends and strangers came from everywhere. They all wanted to be around the “Miracle Man.” To hear and use my story. And when my health took a turn for the worse again, most of them disappeared. I was no longer the flavor of the month.

Now into the twenty-first year of my health battle, my circle of friends as become very small. I am thankful for each of them. These days, I am very careful who I allow into my circle. Too many people with their own agendas have caused great pain.

Long-term health issues and friendships can be a difficult balancing act. In the beginning of a health crisis, there are many friends who walk along side the patient. But as the illness lingers, more and more friends drop off. Maybe it’s too overwhelming for them. Maybe it brings back hard memories. I am not sure why friends leave. Please believe me I am not criticizing them. I am sharing this letter to acknowledge we as a society have to do more to support our chronically ill and disabled populations. Not just the patients, but the caregivers too. That’s a whole different letter.

None of the friends who have walked away are bad people. They’re just regular broken people like all of us. But as a person living with long-term health issues, I sometimes wonder if there is something deficient in me that led those friends to leave. Those feelings are just part of the journey.

If you have a friend that is currently dealing with a chronic illness, please take the time to reach out to them. Doing this on a regular basis has a healing effect. In our technology -filled world, this is easy to do. Texting, email, and social media make it easy to stay in touch with people. Set a reminder on your phone to connect with that friend.

I know it can be hard to see a friend or loved dealing with a long-term health issue. Believe me, I have trouble seeing myself this way. But try to acknowledge their differences and limitations while still seeing them through the lens of the friendship you cultivated over the years. A small act of kindness goes a long way. Inviting that sick friend to events, even if you know they’re unable to attend will make them feel as though they haven’t been forgotten.

For those dealing with long-term health issues, please know it’s not your fault nor those around you. It’s not a lack of faith. Chronic illness and friendships aren’t the most comfortable of bedfellows. Could your friends have done better? Maybe. Did they do it intentionally? Probably not. I only believe in blaming people when they act on purpose. When people make a mistake, we shouldn’t punish them. Instead, we should ask them to become more conscious, understanding, and thoughtful. To teach society to act better next time, as I believe we can.

Does this empathy towards the people who unintentionally let me down make me feel better? In some ways, yes, and in others, no. It has allowed me to find clarity about the reality I find myself in. It has stopped me from wasting energy on useless and illogical emotions. It has left an emotional wound. It has left me exhausted.

Throughout this crazy beautiful health journey, I am thankful for my relationship with God. My faith has sustained me during this difficult and long battle. I praise Jesus for never leaving nor forsaking me. For being a real friend. I take comfort in the friendships I have left. I am thankful for the new friendships I will hopefully make along this journey. I am truly living a blessed life. ~OC

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Today

Today’s a new day! As I scrolled through social media this morning and watched the news, my heart broke with all the hate I saw. A lady in Atlanta trying to burn down the childhood home of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. All the antisemitism and hate against Muslims. The hate against Christians. As I scrolled through all this hate, I realized the as Christians we have to step up and act by shining God’s love and light on this hate and violence. We need to pray, to be sure. But those prayers must also be met with peaceful steps of action that respond to this unconscionable violence and evil with a resounding No.

This is not a call to activism per se. This is a call to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus. He provides an example of love for all, and commands that we do the same (Matthew 22:36-40.) But love is not only an emotion we feel for individuals, it is the basis and fuel for action. If we truly love all of our neighbors, it stands to reason that we must act when they come under attack.

The love of God never fails (1 Cor 13), but too often our love does. It fails each time there is an act of racism or hatred perpetrated and we remain silent. In those moments, when we choose not to speak up, to pray, to advocate for change and to educate ourselves and our sphere of influence, we are complicit. Our love does fail at times, and we have the power to change that.

As each of us watch the news or scroll through social media we see the evil of bigotry and racism. The violence we are seeing is where bigotry and racism lead. We need to speak up. Today, we have multiple ways to peacefully make our voices heard. We can talk to our families, speak with our children and co-workers about the realities of hatred and racism. We can engage in thoughtful dialogue online and make posts on social media. We can take steps in our own lives to demonstrate Christ-like, action-oriented love to everyone, and to our neighbors who may be the subject of this violence.

Let’s come together on these issues and decide in our hearts to take some step of action, right now. Today we can make a difference. ~OC

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Drop Your Stones

Today’s a new day! With all the division in the world, it’s easy to throw stones at those we disagree with. My hope and prayer is we will learn to love and respect everyone God allows us to meet on this journey called life. I pray we will drop our life destroying stones.

Drop the stone of Hate.

Drop the stone of Fear.

Drop the stone of Division.

Drop the stone of Unforgiveness.

Drop the stone of Racism.

Drop the stone of Selfishness.

Drop the stone of Pride.

Drop the stone of Comparison.

Drop the stone of Political Parties.

Obviously I could add more, but I believe you get the point. Drop any stone that is distracting you from showing the love and peace of God. Blessings. ~OC

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Lessons Along The Journey

I have been dealing with multiple life threatening health issues for 20 years. I have had ups and downs during this journey. Throughout the years, people have said some crazy things to Laura and I. I am sure most meant well, but that’s not the way it always came across. Here is a list to help you have positive conversations with someone dealing with serious medical issues. I will expound on some and some do not need any explanation.

*Well, Todd lasted this long. Yes, someone said that to Laura. Please do not say that to her or me.

*How are doing/How’s your health? I know people mean well, but I am more than my health. I really do not care to spend the whole visit discussing my health. Some days I am not even sure how I am feeling. I know that sounds strange, but it’s true. (Hear is a free suggestion: Asked how Laura is doing? As a caregiver, her job is much tougher than mine).

*Do not hug me unless I move in for a hug. Let me initiate all physical contact. Not being mean, but my immune system is compromised.

*If I choose to wear a mask that’s my decision. Please do not make it a political or religious issue. It’s my life.

*If I choose to take a flu shot or some other vaccination that’s my business. Once again, do not make it a political or religious issue.

*Do not just show up for a visit. I could be resting or visiting with other guest. Please call first. Also do not stay all day.

*Do not say, I hate seeing you go through this. My current situation is what it is. I know people mean well, but I do not need a reminder I am sick. My body does a good job of reminding me.

*Do not say, Let me know if I can do anything for you if you do not mean it. I know that might sound harsh, but a lot of people say that just to be kind.

*Do not make my health journey about you. I am sorry if you lost a loved one to an illness I am dealing with, but it does not help if that is that’s all you talk about. Sorry.

*Do not tell me my health issues are caused by some spirit or sin in my life. Laura and I will shut you down. We do not need your poor theology in our lives.

*Do not tell me how I should handle my health issues. This journey is not yours. Laura and I will continue to look to God for His guidance and wisdom.

*Do not say how brave I am. Thanks for the compliment, but I do not always feel brave. Also I did not choose my health issues. It’s just life. I will continue to live a life that hopefully encourages others, but there will be days I do not want or feel like an inspiration.

I share these tips to help educate not to criticize. There is not a playbook on how to walk through a health journey. Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions or suggestions. ~OC

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Wake Up Church

Today’s a new day. If you truly want to find out what a church believes, you do not even need to attend the church. Just check out the social media pages of some pastors and their spouses. As I have scrolled through my social media pages, I have been saddened to see so many pastors and their spouses more concerned about politics than the gospel. So concerned about their political views, they are willing to attack other believers who do not think like/act like/speak like they do. Evangelicals need a wake up call, need to become more compassionate and humble, focused on the gospel. Believers and churches need to stop getting caught up in out right lies and conspiracy theories. Faith community, you can fill every public office with a conservative right-wing candidate and this nation will still be a mess, because the only hope is Jesus. It’s about a heart change, not a Republican, Democrat or Independent change. Wake Up Church. Jesus is love, grace and forgiveness. ~OC

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Hope Dealer

Hope Dealer:

I want to tell you about a Hope Dealer. A Difference Maker. His name is Ricky Aiken. My amazing godson.

I met Ricky when he was about 13 or 14 years old. He was a inner-city kid trying to find his way in life. I was a white guy from the suburbs trying to make a difference. A unlikely pair, but we just clicked. Fast forward a lot of years and Ricky has more than found his way and is making a major difference in his community. Ricky founded Inner City Innovators and is a leader of change in his community. I believe what Ricky is doing will go beyond West Palm Beach and Florida. Ricky is changing the culture of the inner-city. He is showing people that the inner-city is more than what they see on the news. Laura West Shoemaker and I are so proud of Ricky. We think of Ricky as our son. We are excited to see what he is going to do next. Ricky is truly a Difference Maker. A Hope Dealer. ~OC

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