Celebrated

Today’s a new day! Go where your celebrated,not where your tolerated. Protect your peace. Always be who you were created to be. ~OC

Thankfulness While Grieving

Today’s a new day! Today is also Thanksgiving Day. I have many things to be thankful for, but I am also grieving the death of a loved one. This has been a hard week.

It can be difficult to be thankful when you’re in a season of grieving. When you experience the loss of a loved one you begin to wonder if you will ever feel happy again. It is hard to be thankful when you are hurting. The Bible is not silent on the issue of suffering. The Bible is full of scriptures and stories about suffering.

Giving thanks to God during times of grief is difficult, but not impossible. In fact, it is one of the best ways of progressing towards hope while you are grieving. How can you be thankful during times of grief? I believe Remembering , Reflecting , and Rejoicing can guide us through a season of loss and grief.

First, take time to remember. Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. Do not doubt in the darkness what you have clearly seen in the light. One of the results of the grieving process is that our minds become absorbed with that one thing. It is so important that you force yourself to remember key foundational truths about God. Remember that He loves you. Remember that He is in control. Remember that He is always working good; even in the bad circumstances. While grieving, you may not want to hear someone quote Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” But, remember that it is true. 

Second, take time to reflect. Reflect on your current situation, but do not dwell on it. What’s the difference between reflecting and dwelling? Think of it like a house. When you dwell in a house you live in it. Dwelling on the cause of your grief is like going back to the situation and living there as you relive it over and over. When you reflect, you think deeply and carefully about something. Going back to the house illustration, rather than dwelling in the house, you sit outside the house and look in. Reflecting is different because it gives you time to grieve and realize that your life has changed and there will be a new reality moving forward.

Remember, there is no set timeframe for you to stop grieving. Please hear that. Grief has no timeline. In one sense, you will never stop grieving until you are given your new body and dwelling with God in Heaven. The purpose in grieving well is not to stop grieving, but to begin grieving with hope.

When we are grieving we are overwhelmed by our emotions. Our emotions are powerful and have great control over us, so we are told in the Bible to take control of them. We do this by guarding our heart. Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” The heart is the essence of who we are. It is more than just emotions. It is the command center of your life. It directs our emotions.

Through grief and mourning we must remember to guard our hearts.

Third, take time to rejoice. In the middle of your mourning, allow your heart and mind to remember some of the beautiful moments and memories. That can be difficult in the midst of a loss or a difficult season in life. But the fact that God has brought us this new day means that we can rejoice and be glad in it. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. This verse does not teach us that every circumstance is good, but that God is good. This is not always easy, but we must continue to lean into this truth.

So today take some time to Remember, Reflect, Rejoice

*Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. 

*Reflect and give yourself time to grieve. Guard your heart so that you do not believe lies but trust God.

*Rejoice in the Lord who is powerfully and purposefully at work.

If you are grieving, trust God. Consider the story of Martha from John 11. Martha had just lost her brother and was grieving. When she saw Jesus she said to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21). Martha then said something very profound. Martha said, “But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You” (John 11:22). Martha serves as an example of a godly person hurting yet trusting. So today, allow God to help you give thanks in all circumstances on this Thanksgiving Day. ~OC

True Friendships

Today’s a new day! True friends never make you feel like a burden. A true friend is never burdened with stressful promises and obligations.  When true friends step up, it’s because they care and because they want to.

Don’t chase after friendships. True friendships don’t need to be chased.  If someone is a true friend and wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You should never have to fight for a spot in their life. Never, ever force yourself on someone who continuously overlooks your worth. ~OC

Dear…,

Today’s a new day!

Dear……,

I want you to know, first and foremost, how special you are. Those are not words to make you feel better. Whether you realize it or not, your life matters.

I want you to know how you light up the world with your smile when you show it off. So please, show it off more. You use more of your face muscles when you smile, so stretch it out so wide that it hurts and remember when you grow old and see wrinkles around your mouth that you got them from smiling.

I know people are trying to reach out to you to tell you that everything is going to be alright and that they’re there for you. Please – and I cannot stress this enough – do not push them away or shut them out. You may not want to hear it, but those family members, friends, and coworkers are there for you and would do anything to help.

So, give them a chance even when you don’t think they’ll understand your pain. You’ll never know if you do not let them in. You’re feeling alone right now. So alone that you don’t think anyone can see all the pain you’re going through.

I want you to know I see you, okay? I can see the pain written all over your face because I know the look of someone trying so hard to pretend like they’re alright when they’re crumbling on the inside. You’re not alone, you have people in your life, and even people you didn’t see coming, who are more than willing to reach out and be there for you.

I know you feel like you cannot get through this current storm. I know it seems like your world is crumbling all around and you cannot find the strength to get back up. Your days are spent isolated in your house, and you cannot eat, sleep or find the strength to move from the comfort and safety of your bed. You have lost the ambition to go outside and breathe in the fresh air. Can I share a little truth with you? I have been where you’re at. I did a pretty good job hiding it, so most people even those closest to me didn’t even notice it. Some days I was barely holding on.

So, I encourage you to hang in there. You’re important to this world and have so much talent and so many amazing ideas to give. You have a light inside you that lights up the world. So keep holding on.

Please, continue to take one day at a time. Keep leaning into the loving arms and promises of God. It’s so easy to want all the answers right this moment, but this life is not a 30 minute tv show. I would love to give you a quick fix, but that could possibly rob you of some amazing lessons God is trying to teach you in this moment. But I can promise you this. We will get through this together. Keep holding on. ~OC

You Matter!

Today’s a new day! You may not realize it or feel it now, but you inspire people just by being you. It may seem what you’re going through right now is too overwhelming, but your breakthrough is coming. You have touched so many lives. So today is not the day to give up. Because there is somebody out there that needs your smile, your laughter and your encouraging words. They need you. So today, I want you to keeping fighting, to keep pushing through those tough moments. I want to encourage you that these hard days are just temporary. This journey called life is not always easy, but it’s worth living. Even through those tough moments. Life is better with you in it. I pray your day is filled with amazing moments and God’s blessings. ~OC

Love Through Our Differences

Today’s a new day! Well, it’s finally here. After months of political ads, speeches, debates and political rallies, it’s finally Election Day. In a few hours, or possibly a few weeks we will have a new president. But sadly, this election and the last few elections have divided America. Everyone has their opinions and sometimes are not open to other points of view.

In our current political climate, it seems almost impossible for anyone to cross party aisles. And if our elected officials cannot bring themselves to be open-minded to opposing views, what hope is there for the rest of us?  Navigating a relationship with a family member or friend who has different political views than you do isn’t easy. But it can be done. It will take some hard work and open minds, but we can walk away from the 2024 election still loving our family and friends. Here are a few steps we can take to make sure our relationships are intact after today’s vote.

Be Curious: Ask questions. Take the time to find out about why someone thinks the way they do and share your experiences. We do not need to be condescending when sharing our political points of view. Do not make people feel stupid if they have questions. Instead, encourage them to continue asking questions. This is how we get to know each other. Our differences should be something we celebrate. Not demonize.

Listen: It’s easy to tell yourself you are open-minded. But when your family member or friend has an entirely different political viewpoint you may find yourself wanting to defend your beliefs instead of listening to theirs. It’s important to resist that impulse. If you’re taking the time to sit down and discuss a certain topic, both of you need to be really present in the conversation. Distractions should be kept to a minimum as you engage in conversation.

So how do you and your loved ones actively listen to each other? One way to do this is by reiterating the point you just heard them make by saying “This is what I heard you say, am I correct?”. This allows your family member/friend to confirm this or correct themselves if it didn’t come across in the way they hoped it would. In return, your family/friend should offer you the same courtesy. The whole point of a discussion is to see how someone arrived at their opinion; Arguing over why their opinion is wrong is not.

Monitor Your Reaction: When you are having a spirited conversation about political differences that you know both you and your family/friend are passionate about, there are ways to ensure that the discussion will not get heated. Before jumping in, take some time to organize your thoughts. By allowing yourself to take a breath you lessen the risk of saying something angry and disrespectful. If there is a point when voices are being raised or volatility is starting to take over, that’s your cue to take a timeout and return to the discussion when you are both level-headed enough to continue. Even a simple “Hey, this is important and I want to talk about it, but I’m feeling pretty upset right now. Maybe we can talk tomorrow?” can make a huge difference. 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T: It’s more than a Aretha Franklin song. There is nothing wrong with questioning your beliefs. Although, to be honest, it can be terrifying when it happens.

We allow ourselves to be open to new ideas when we question what we originally thought we knew. Though, keep in mind, your family/friend should never force their beliefs on you.  A supportive family member or friend would never try to influence your opinions. Instead, they would tell you this is how they see an issue and that how you process that information is up to you.

There you go. Not every relationship can survive political differences. Sadly, that’s just part of life. However, if you find yourself in a conversation with a family member or friend with different political beliefs or opinions than you, open and honest communication is going to be more important than ever. Do not be afraid to talk to each other about your opinions and ask questions if you want to know more. The key is to always be respectful of each other’s thoughts and feelings. After all, love has no political affiliations. ~OC

Be Still

Today’s a new day! Have you ever gotten so busy with your To Do List, that you miss out on the things that truly matter? I think we have all had moments like that in life.

The Bible talks a lot about the busyness of life and the importance of taking time to just be still.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” ~Matthew 11:28

“Be still and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” ~Psalm 46:10

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.  ~Philippians 4:6-7

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. ~Ecclesiastes 3:1

As we look to a new week, I pray you will spend some time reflecting on the scriptures above. If you’re like most people you already have a full list of things to do this week. My encouragement to everyone who already have a long list of things to accomplish this week, is do not allow that list to keep you from taking some time this week to just be still.

Do not miss a moment to really sit still and calm your mind. I know that can be difficult for some people. We are used to moving from one thing to another. Most people are not comfortable just sitting still. But when we are constantly on the move, we can miss the signs of God wanting us to have a quiet moment and spending it with him. Having this intimate moment with God and just leaning into him when our minds are racing can give us the everlasting peace we need. It doesn’t matter how much stuff we accomplish this coming week or how much we have left on our list; we cannot let a fear of not accomplishing enough get in the way of how much we see God wanting to spend time with us. What matters most is that we recognize that God’s hand is in everything and to make him a priority above all things. We need to calm our minds and be still, knowing that our time with God is a vital part of our day in order to really feel his true presence in our lives. So this week spend some time just being Still. ~OC

My NYC Marathon Experience…Almost

Today’s a new day! The New York City Marathon is this morning. I will watch it on tv and root for each of the runners. I will also spend a moment reflecting on my NYC Marathon experience that never happened.

Back in 2010, I should have been in New York City with the other 45,344 runners competing that day. But on that Sunday morning, I was in the hospital fighting for my life. It would be another nine years before I would even have the ability to lace up my running shoes and attempt to run. Unfortunately, that would be a short lived experience as my health took another turn for the worse.

I still look back on my running days more with a smile than I do with disappointment, but I must admit missing that 2010 NYC Marathon is still one of my biggest regrets of my running career. The opportunity to be at the starting line with thousands of other runners, to experience the excitement of hearing the starting gun go off, to run through the streets of NYC with thousands of people cheering the runners on and crossing that finish line is a memory I miss from my running days. It is a moment I will always wonder about.

But this Sunday morning, like I have been doing for many years, I will be watching and cheering on each of the runners blessed with the amazing opportunity to run the NYC Marathon. There will also be a moment where I will imagine myself running through the finish line with my arms raised high. You can never really take the runner out of the runner.

Best wishes for all of the runners fulfilling your dreams of running in the NYC Marathon today. Embrace every minute of every single mile. I will be cheering you on. Go Get It! ~OC

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