Tag: Encouragement

Friends

Today’s a new day! I believe we would all agree that good friendships add value to our lives. Great friends can bring out the best in us.

But sadly, we have all experienced moments in life where friends let us down. Those can be tough moments to walk through.

As I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have felt the sting of friends deciding to walk way. Those moments can lead to some of the deepest pain in life. It can be easy to get bitter about the way those friends treated me.

When walking through those moments of loss, it can feel good to get angry in those times of hurt. But by holding on to those painful moments we can end up dealing with long-term trauma. When we look at Ephesians 4:31, we read about getting rid of bitterness and anger. By allowing those harmful emotions to take hold in our lives like nasty weeds, we could potentially cut ourselves off from valuable friendships.

But when we decide to mix forgiveness with honest and open communications we can help to alleviate the pain we feel and can help walk us down the road to recovering our friendship.

In Matthew 18:22, Peter asked Jesus how often we should forgive our brother. Peter thought he was being generous when he offered to forgive his brother seven times in one day. According to human thinking, that would be quite generous, but Jesus had a different answer: “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” What?

Jesus point was not to count up to 490 offenses and then stop forgiving the one who asks for forgiveness, but to forgive always. Forgiveness should be our state of mind. It should flow from our hearts. Just as God is merciful with us when we repent, we should be merciful to others.

When friends disappoint us, mercy is not always our first reaction, but it is a response that we must learn and practice. It is important to keep perspective and recognize that we are not always perfect friends.

In this journey called life, we have definitely disappointed our friends and how did we want to be treated in those moments? A good principle to remember is given in Proverbs 18:24, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” When we keep in mind our own shortcomings, it is much easier to extend mercy and grace to others.

Before Peter asked about forgiveness, Jesus gave instructions about what to do when our friends let us down. In Matthew 18:15-20, the topic of when our friends disappoint us is addressed.

The first step is to go to our friend privately and address the issue. Hopefully they will respond positively, and further steps will not be needed.

The key to going to our friends is that we must do so in love. In Proverbs 17:17 we read, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother and sister is born for adversity.” Without first being willing to forgive our friend and striving to remember our love for them, we run the risk of making matters worse. Our hurt feelings and disappointments may come out in anger and drive our friends away.

I believe friends are to hold each other accountable. Solomon wrote about this in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” The point is not to tear each other apart, but to build each other up and hopefully make our relationship even stronger.

Once we have truly forgiven our friends and reached out to them, then the responsibility is on them to respond. Hopefully their response will be positive, and the problem will be resolved. But if not, we will have peace in knowing that we have done everything in our power to make amends.

There is joy that can come in gaining a friend back, but recognize that doesn’t always happen overnight. As time moves forward, our responsibility is to not allow disappointment to generate bitterness, but to replace that disappointment with love, grace and forgiveness. ~OC

1

Morning Prayer

Dear Lord, we humbly approach you with hearts overflowing with thankfulness and praise. Your boundless love and mercy and your enduring faithfulness fills us with awe. We are grateful for the precious gift of life; for every breath we take and for every heartbeat. Lord, we thank you for all the blessings you have generously given. We are thankful for the people you have brought into our lives. We are deeply grateful for the precious gift of your son, Jesus Christ. We humbly seek your forgiveness for the times we have fallen short and for the moments we overlook the blessings you have granted us. We commit to follow you with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength.
Lord, we humbly ask for your healing touch in every aspect of our lives – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Heal all illnesses, Lord, all diseases, and all weaknesses in our bodies. Mend every emotional wound and soothe every heartache, and heal every trauma. Lord, renew our minds and transform them through your word and fill us with your peace. We ask for your protection over our lives, and the lives of our loved ones. Lord, shield us from every deception and every trap set by the enemy toward any spirit that enters our lives with intentions to harm, to steal, and to destroy. Provide us, Lord, with your peace and safeguard us in times of turmoil by your grace and mercy. We pray all this in Jesus Name.

0

Are You a 3am Friend?

Good evening! It’s 10:15pm here in South Florida, as I sit in my recliner and write this post. I have a question to ask? Do you have a 3am friend?

OC, what in the world is a 3am friend? I’m glad you asked. A 3am friend is a friend you can call at 3am when the storms of life hit. Where most people would probably not even answer the phone, a 3am friend welcomes your call.

The 3am friend is one of the most important people in our lives. It doesn’t matter if these are work friends, faith friends, or family relations.

You can call that 3am friend because you’re confident that they care about you even when they are distracted by their own challenges or recovering from a hard day. You can also trust them to respect and support you even when they see you at your worst.

Do you have 3 a.m. friends? More importantly, are you a 3 a.m. friend for others?

I hope your answer to both questions is, “Yes, of course.” But that isn’t true for all of us, nor is it true all the time. There are all kinds of fancy ideas and theories about “community.” I don’t pretend to have a mastery of what all possible communities could or should look like. But at the end of the day, communities do one critically important thing: they create relationships. Supportive and loving relationships.

The simplest way to build community is by letting others know that we want to be their 3 a.m. friend. Maybe you are ready to be that 3 a.m. friend, and they don’t know it.

On a number of occasions, friends have surprised me by calling me in the middle of night with a crisis. Perhaps they needed someone to support family members waiting tensely in an emergency room. Perhaps they were overwhelmed by the pressures of life. Maybe they needed someone to just listen to them. Maybe they needed prayer.

Over the years, I have come to realize that it is an honor to be trusted in moments like that. When someone shares their vulnerability, they are inviting us to know them in a deeper way.

If you’ve never done it, I suggest that, right now, you call or text the people that you know are your 3 a.m. friends. Thank them for filling this role in your life even if you’ve never needed to make that call. If there are people that you know whose middle-of-the-night calls you would welcome, consider letting them know how you feel.

While we can talk about “building community” in fancy ways elsewhere, this may be the most important community you will ever have. God knows you need them and they need you.

So, if you ever need a 3am friend, please reach out to me. I would be honored to do life with you. Even at 3am. Blessings. ~OC

0

Be Kind

Today’s a new day! BE KIND, OR BE QUIET.

This is a Kindergarten rule, you guys. It’s the most basic of the basics. Either choose your words with kindness, or keep your mouth shut and just listen.
Fear and anger and hate are already running high, friends. There is no room for more.

And honestly, there should be no room for any of it. Not within the body of Christ. As Christians, our hope does not lie in the law of the land. Our hope lies in Jesus, his crucifixion and his resurrection. This is a hope that is firm and secure, an anchor for our souls. Is not this the hope that we should be sharing with everyone we come in contact with? Regardless of religious, social, economic or political differences.

Instead of arguing with one another, I suggest we focus our efforts on something that actually furthers the Gospel of Christ.

*We love our neighbor by baking cookies, inviting them over for a meal, or stopping to talk with them in the yard, and get to know them better.

*We serve our communities by offering our time and our gifts.

*We listen, we watch, we pray, and then we reach out in kindness and love.

*We immerse ourselves in the Word of God so that we can grow in knowledge and discernment.

*We treat all people with love and respect.

*We remember that life is not all about us.

*And for goodness sakes be kind. Or just keep our sweet mouths shut.

And all God’s people said…Amen. ~OC

0

Let’s Go!

Today’s a new day! Dear Champion, Warrior, Overcomer,
 
As we start this new week, I want to encourage you that God has uniquely wired and placed you right where you are for this season.
 
Each of you has been placed in your neighborhood, workplace, and your circle of influence for this moment in time. To be used right where God has you planted and growing.

When you decide to not be afraid of the darkness and begin to push past it into the light, it changes everything. People begin to change.
 
But what does it look like when you begin to use your gifts and push past the darkness? It can be as simple as…
 
A pray group at your house or on Zoom.

A prayer group outside a local school, prison or hospital.

Standing up and speaking out for the marginalized and persecuted.

Having a weekly dinner at your house.

A weekly prayer breakfast in person or online.
 
Living a life of service rather than a life of feeling stuck by all the negativity you see around you.

You have been created for this moment to be part of God’s life changing plan to push past the darkness and negativity of this world and be part of establishing God’s beautiful light in your community. Let’s go! ~OC

0

A Garden

Today’s a new day! For just a moment, imagine that our minds are like a garden. The thoughts we entertain are the seeds we plant. Loving thoughts are like seeds of beautiful flowers and nourishing vegetables. Our garden flourishes when we plant these seeds, tend to them, and water them regularly. However, if we plant seeds of envy, division, hate, arrogance, or resentment, our garden becomes overrun with nasty weeds, that slowly choke out the beauty and nourishment.

To cultivate a garden of love, we must intentionally plant seeds of patience, kindness, forgiveness, grace, humility, and truth. This requires effort and care, just as tending to a real garden does. Doing so creates an environment where love thrives and bears fruit. ~OC

0

Keep Pushing

Today’s a new day! Back in my running days, I had the honor of coaching a few runners as they trained for upcoming races. I challenged them to run further than they thought they could. To change up their diet. To push past what they thought they could do. My friends were not always happy with the way I pushed them until they crossed the finish line of a race. Then they could look back and see how all the training and pushing helped them achieve their goals.

There are some Christians, who are not always happy with my post. Some think I push the envelope a little too much. They’re not always comfortable with the way I push and encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ to do better. To actually live out the scriptures we read in the Bible. To truly be the hands and feet of Jesus.

But just like I always pushed those runners to go harder, I will continue to push the Christian Community to do better. This race we’re running is more important than any 5K, half-marathon or marathon. A lost and hurting world is depending on us. Finish Strong! ~OC

0

Thoughts on Friendship

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I have seen many of my friendships change. More than ever, I have looked for my friends to stand by me and catch me before I fall and break, like Humpty Dumpty.   

But like a “trust-fall” exercise gone wrong – right when you need their safety net the most – a lot of friends aren’t there. And sometimes the fall is hard.

The pain and disappointment of slowly losing friends can be overwhelming. It’s a blindsiding blow that you never see coming.

Since my health journey started way back in 2002, I have been hurt by the unpredictable disappearance of a number of friendships that I truly thought were solid.

As I have walked through this loss, I initially reacted the way most who are rejected and took it personally, adding insult to my health journey.

The following questions have flooded my mind at different times during my health journey:

Was it my fault somehow?

Was it something I did or said, or didn’t do or say?

How did I not see this coming?   

Those questions never had any real answers and just kept me spinning in an unresolved circular loop. That began to shift when I learned that many people dealing with chronic and longtime health issues deal with the very same issues.

I began to realize that many times the friends who left were the very people I believed I could count on the most.

I began to realize the issue was not me, but was those friends. They either lacked compassion, a willingness to be uncomfortable or they just couldn’t handle watching a friend decline day by day and year by year.

I guess I just assumed some friends would always be there for me. I thought wrong.

Maybe they excused themselves by rationalizing that they were “too busy”?

I have had some friends share they don’t want to bother me. That I need my rest. You can only rest for so many hours in a day.

I have friends not think to invite me to some function because “I did not think you would be up for it.” You never know unless you ask.

Other friends have mentioned they just figured my house is always full of company. Not the case.

Or, maybe for some, it’s because they are still able to hold onto the illusion that they maintain a level of control – something I have clearly lost in many ways. No cold, hard reality has come along to shatter that for them yet.

Who really knows why some friends chose to leave.

I have wondered if it’s realistic to think we can really know or count on the staying power of our friends until we encounter and work through adversity together.   

Things that we believe are shared between us – unique connection, loyalty, understanding, tolerance, mutuality, honesty, trust, humor, etc. – are much easier when they are not put to any serious test.

Since there are no friendship vows, I have had to get clear about my boundaries and the friendship qualities that matter the most.  

During this health journey, I have had Christian friends question my faith and asked what sin am I living with? Our one of my favorites, everyone is going to die; you just know what your dying from. Another favorite is “Well you have lasted this long.”

Once I got past the sting of some friendships fading like a sunset, I started focusing on the friends who have stuck around. They are more important than those friends that have chosen to fade away.

Those friends who have decided to run the race with me are like a healing balm that constantly renews my weary spirit. Thank you.

These wonderful souls in my life, show me that there are still many compassionate people out there who truly understand how to be a true friend.

Friendships lost is an experience that I didn’t ask for and didn’t want, yet it woke me up to not settle for anything less than solid, real and caring friendships. ~OC

0

My Relationship

Today’s a new day! My relationship and walk with God has never been and never will be based on the current circumstances in my life. My relationship with God is not based on how other people feel about me. My relationship with God is not based on the current state of America or the world. My faith is a deep and personal connection with God. As I walk out my faith, I pray that it impacts those around me in a positive way. When people examine my faith in God, hopefully they will see love. When I meet people from a different faith (are no faith), country or political party, I pray they will experience love flowing from my words and actions. I pray the person I am on Sunday morning at church, is the same person I am Monday through Saturday. As I study scriptures from the Bible, my faith teaches me to simply love people because they were created by God. He loves them so I should do the same. It is not my job or right to pass judgement on anyone. The faith I read about in the Bible teaches me to love radically, to serve and give sacrificially and to continue growing in my faith daily. I love that in the midst of this crazy beautiful health journey, God has given me a purpose and a heart to love, encourage and serve people. I will continue to live out this amazing journey with love. ~OC

0

Not Political

Good morning. Sorry this is a little long, but I wanted to share.

Today’s a new day! We are walking through what will be my least favorite part of 2024. The upcoming election.

Can I be honest for a minute? For me, the past few election cycles have felt like being the child in the middle of a brutal custody battle between two scorned parents. Just my opinion.

How many social media posts have you seen the past few years that went something along the lines of “If you vote for ‘insert candidate of choice here’ go ahead and unfriend me?” Or “If you believe ‘insert single issue belief here’ go ahead and unfriend me?” I have friends and family – people I love and respect – on both sides of the political aisle, and what makes this ongoing disunity even more difficult to watch is that a lot of these people profess to be followers of Jesus.

I have seen the religious vote (and the moral high ground) claimed by both the right and left. People from each political party claiming Jesus teachings as their own. But let me share some truth with you. No political party or politician has the market cornered on Christian beliefs. Despite religious rhetoric or faith-based endorsements, both the Republican, Democratic and Independent parties fall painfully short of the gospel.

And why shouldn’t they? All political parties are flawed organizations that are not tasked with carrying out the gospel. And therein lies the problem: too many people’s identities have become more wrapped up in their political affiliation than in their identity in Jesus.

As this election year heats up, I have heard people from both sides of the political aisle scream “You cannot be a Christian if you support this candidate or that candidate. “You cannot truly be a Christian if you vote for or against a certain amendment.

These statements and those like them should not be spoken from the pulpit or shared on social media. Because Jesus is not a Republican, Democrat or an Independent. Sorry to burst your bubble. Our salvation does not depend on a political party or who you vote for. Our salvation depends solely on Jesus. We cannot vote our way into (or out of) the Kingdom of Heaven. Since our salvation is not dependent on any political stance, that means that our beliefs on education, healthcare, immigration, LGBT rights, or any other hot topic issue does not make or break our identity in Christ. What Jesus did for us on the Cross is so much bigger than a political party, candidate or how we vote.

We are living in dangerous times when a group of people decide their worldview is the only legitimate Christian view. It makes me remember the Pharisees and religious leaders from the Bible who expected Jesus to come and overthrow Rome, and to show them that their way was the only true way. But Jesus never did that. If you truly study scripture, He often did the exact opposite to the dismay of the religious leaders.

As I study the Bible, I read scripture after scripture that commands us to love our enemies. That seems easy enough because we think we do not have any enemies. Right? But what about that person you stopped talking to because their political views did not match yours? What about that friend you unfriended because they support something you’re against? Let’s be honest, in this time of division we all need to check our hearts.

As Christians we talk a lot about winning souls for Jesus. To bring a little bit of Heaven to earth. But are we truly doing that? According to Jesus, the Kingdom he talked about was not about a political party. The Kingdom of God isn’t something we simply hope for when we die – It is something we are to make here on earth as it is in heaven. We are called to unite with other believers (even if we disagree with them) to help bring together a world that is divided, hateful and honestly a complete mess right now. As Christians we must realize that the Kingdom of God will never be fully realized through worldly governments and politicians. It will only be realized through the radical life changing love of Jesus.

We have been sold fear for so long, that we are afraid of anyone that is ‘other’ than us. For some, their identities have become so wrapped up in political parties that they have dehumanized those across the political aisle. But as I study scripture, I read that as Christians we are suppose to be the ones that welcome EVERYONE to the table. As believers we can no longer hide behind a computer or claim working for unity and what is right is too hard. We have to take a seat at the table and have constructive discussions with everyone. ~OC

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑