Tag: Family

My Life With Dementia

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have always wanted to be upfront and honest when sharing my journey with you. So this morning, I want to share a post I have been working on for several weeks. It’s my life with dementia. I apologize in advance for the long post.

When I was diagnosed with young onset dementia last year, part of me thought there has to be a mistake, but it was also a relief to have some answers on why my life seemed a little out of focus. But it was still hard to hear “you have dementia.” Like so many people diagnosed with young-onset dementia, I was still planning a future with my bride. How was dementia showing up in my 50’s?

But here I am, almost a year later.

What I have learned is a dementia diagnosis isn’t the end of life. It just means life looks a little different.

Of course my life has looked a little different for the last twenty-three years dealing with multiple health issues. But over the last two decades, my faith and life experiences have taught me it’s possible to live a fulfilling, purposeful, and even joyful life even while dealing with the uncertainty of declining health. A diagnosis of dementia was not going to change that. At least I hope and pray that will be the case.

So as I walk out this journey called dementia, I wanted to share a few things that are working for me. This is not a neat how to live with dementia list, because dementia is not an easy follow these instructions and everything will be okay disease. No, dementia is a unpredictable roller coaster ride. Every day brings new challenges, but also new opportunities.

My hope and prayer is that this blog post will help create conversations. If you’re living with dementia, or supporting someone who is, I hope these tools help you live a full life regardless of the diagnosis.

My Dementia Toolbox:

I choose to live each day with Hope and Purpose.

I choose to live a life full of new adventures. Never stop making memories with family and friends.

I choose to maintain my independence as long as possible.

I choose to continue connecting with family and friends.

I choose to adapt to the changes dementia brings and never give up.

I choose to hold onto my identity and what makes me “me.”

I choose to keep learning new things each day.

I choose to live out my life and faith.

I choose not to avoid the declines that dementia brings, but to make the most out of every day and refuse to let dementia silence me.

Finally, living with dementia is not an easy journey. There are moments of loss and frustration, but there are also unexpected discoveries, laughs, and the good will of family and friends. ~OC

0

Taking A Break

Today’s a new day! I love connecting with people on social media and reading about what everyone is up to. I also love sharing my thoughts and journey through social media and my blog. But I believe it’s time for a break from social media and my blog post.

The past several weeks, I have noticed the time I am spending on social media constantly increasing. I began wondering how much life am I missing by being on social media so much. The Pay Attention and Embrace Life portion of my brain sounded something like this:

“This crazy beautiful health journey is making life more difficult in so many areas of my life. I need to spend more time embracing life instead of looking at a screen. I need to make time for more face to face interactions and less online interactions. I need to spend more time reading a great book and experiencing new music. Or maybe spending more time enjoying the music of my youth and remembering the many memories that those songs bring back. As my health continues to decline, do I really want to spend precious time staring at a screen? Or do I want to make more memories with my bride, family and friends? I need to be present for them. I need to let go of social media in all areas  for a little while and give those around me more time and attention. I need to focus on things that truly matter instead of having my eyes and mind focused on some type of screen.”

“Not only that, but I really need a break. I need to recharge. I need some time to focus on things other than what I am going to write about in my blog or post on social media. With my health issues becoming more of a challenge, it’s getting more difficult to write out my thoughts. I need to use my energy and the brain cells I have left on living life and making amazing memories.”

With that in mind, I have decided to take some time away from all social media and my blog. I have no idea how long this break will last. It will last as long as I feel God telling me to stay away. I believe that a break will breathe some new life into my creativity, which is never a bad thing in the realm of writing. I hope you all understand.

So, I want to wish everyone a Happy Birthday and Anniversary that I might miss as I am away. I pray your summer is filled with family, friends, vacations and good memories. Take time for the important things in life.

Feel free to come by and visit if possible or give me a call. Let’s stay in contact the old school way…in person or actually talking on the phone. See you later. God Bless. ~OC

0

Truly Living

Today’s a new day! Are you just merely existing in this journey called life?

As I look around me, I see so many people who are just walking through the motions of everyday life, but they are not truly living life. They are not embracing it. For whatever ever reason they have stopped living before their hearts stopped beating. 

As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for the past twenty-three years, I have learned that living a meaningful life has nothing to do with how much money you have in the bank or the materialistic things that you may possess. To truly live has nothing to do with your status in life.

To truly live life is to appreciate everything that you are. To live your life being aware of all your shortcomings but still loving yourself. To understand that those imperfections are part of who you are. To realize that you do not need to change anything about yourself to just impress others. Make changes because they make you a better person. To understand that you are far from perfect but you are unique. There is only one of you walking on this earth. To truly live is to be happy with the person that God uniquely created…You.

To truly live life means to take that trip now, instead of waiting for the right time. The right time is now. A lot can happen in life between now and the right time. Choose to embrace adventure now.

To truly live life means to be in the present, to live in the moment and not waste your time dwelling on the past, or what could have been. To let go of what has happened and focus on what you can do right now to live a better life. To be a better person.

To truly live means to appreciate everything around you. To take time to watch the sunrise or sunset, listen to the birds singing, sit by the ocean or call up some friends to get together to just celebrate living.

To truly live life is to be okay expressing your feelings. To accept that sometimes we need to laugh, cry or scream. To allow yourself to grieve and heal.

To truly live life is to appreciate each moment. To find awesomeness and wander in every day life. To make the choice to get up every day and try to make the best of every day because you don’t know if you’ll be here tomorrow. To try and learn something from each of your life experiences.

To truly live life is to spend time with friends and loved ones. To surround yourself with those that encourage, challenge and inspire you to live your best life.

To truly live life is to find your purpose and live it out. To chase after your hopes and dreams and then go out and accomplish them. To never give up!

To truly live life is to be kind and respectful to others. To buy breakfast for the person in line behind you. To reach out to family and friends to let them know how much they mean to you. To smile at a stranger. To take time to do one selfless act, big or small, on a regular basis. To truly live is to try to make a difference in your part of the world. 

To truly live life is to make the world a better place for the next generation. This one life is a beautiful gift. Embrace it! ~OC

0

A Flicker

Today’s a new day! As this crazy beautiful health journey gets a little tougher each day, I want to take some time to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. The following has been written over a series of weeks and months. I hope it brings a time of reflection as you walk out your own journey.

  • Do not waste your time on things that you don’t enjoy. I have learned it’s hard to succeed in something that you don’t like. Patience, passion, and dedication come more easily when you love what you do.
  • Do not be concerned over other people’s opinions. Being caught up in others opinions can weaken and paralyze you. If you let it, it can grow worse and worse every day until there is nothing left of you, but a empty shell of yourself. Listen to God’s voice and go with it. Some people may call you crazy, but many may be encouraged by your choices.
  • Do not allow any person or situation to control your life. Take full responsibility for your actions. Limit bad habits and try to lead a healthier lifestyle. Find a hobby that makes you happy. Most of all, do not procrastinate. Make the most of each day. Let your life be shaped by the decisions you make not by the ones you didn’t.
  • Do not be so busy, that life slips past you. Appreciate the people around you. May your friends and family always be a source of strength and love. Never take them for granted.

It is difficult for me to fully express my feelings about the importance of these simple realizations, but I hope that you will listen to someone who has experienced how valuable time is.

I am not upset or scared about what lies ahead because this health journey has helped bring meaning and purpose to my life. Each day is a beautiful gift to be celebrated. So every day, I take some time to take it all in. Time is truly a beautiful gift.

As I continue to run this health journey, I have learned that everyone has potential. But potential means nothing without the courage to realize it. To believe that God has given each of us purpose in this life. To turn that purpose into amazing opportunities.

We can move through a life created by circumstances, missed moments and opportunities or we can strive for what we believe in and write the amazing story of our life. I hope you will make the right choice.

I pray you will leave a positive mark on this world. That your life will be filled with hope and meaning. Life is a beautiful playground, where dreams are possible. Yet, we are not here forever. Our life is a short spark in this beautiful world that flies by with incredible speed. So, live your life with meaning and passion. Embrace every moment. Make it spectacular. Make it count! ~OC

0

We Can Never Forget

Today’s a new day!

“Terrible things are happening outside. Poor helpless people are being dragged out of their homes. Families are torn apart. Men, women and children are separated. Children come home from school to find their parents have disappeared.” ~Diary of Ann Frank, January 13, 1943

It’s important to reflect on the words of Anne Frank from her diary in 1943 as we face the challenges of this world in 2025.

These words, though written during one of the darkest periods in human history, echo eerily in the stories we see and read about across the country in today’s current state. Stories of displacement, family separations, and the marginalization of the vulnerable persist, reminding us of the importance of empathy, advocacy, and action in the face of injustice.

The entries in Anne Frank’s diary serve as an enduring reminder of the consequences of indifference and the necessity of standing up for humanity. It calls on us to reflect on how we treat one another and to ensure that history does not repeat itself. It is our responsibility to build a society rooted in compassion, love, understanding, and unity. We can never forget. ~OC

0

Gift of Time

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings from “OC”. This was written back in 2023.

I have a few questions for you. How are you using the gift of time God has given you? Do you walk around thinking you have all the time in the world?

As I continue to walk out this crazy beautiful health journey, I realize more and more that we are invited not to take our time on earth for granted, but to use it to love, encourage and serve others. God is calling us to not squander the gift of time, but to recognize its limit and value and be deliberate in how we use it.

Here are some practical ways I believe we can use our time more wisely:

**Assess Your Current Schedule. Look at everything you are spending time on for the next few weeks. Evaluate each scheduled use of your time. Ask yourself: “How is God calling me to use my time? What matters most and what is most important?”

**Pray Over Your Schedule and Cut Some Things Out. Ask God in prayer as you look at your schedule: “How would you like me to use my time for your glory?” Through God’s guidance, minimize your schedule and let go of some things that you may have taken on out of obligation or expectations of others.

**Learn to Say No. Once you start being more aware of your use of time, you’ll be better able to say no to things that are not in line with how God is calling you personally to use your time, while saying yes to those select things that are most important.

**Be More Intentional With Your Technology Use. We have all ended up wasting time watching too much Netflix, using social media for long periods of time, and staring at our smart phones. Using time intentionally is not about cutting these things out altogether, but being more deliberate in how much time is used with technology. Consider time limits, paring down watched TV shows, and maybe even short-term technology fasts (for a few hours or days) to break bad habits of time-sucking technology use.

**Spend More Time With Family and Friends.We often hear people share one of their biggest regrets in life is not spending more time with loved ones. Be intentional about paring down your schedule so that you can spend more time with family and friends.

**Set Aside Time for God. Do not get so caught up with your busy schedule, that you neglect time in prayer and studying God’s Word. Take time to listen for the Spirit’s leading, and enjoy this time apart from work and other life duties. As you spend more time with God, you will be better able to hear God’s voice and see God’s actions in your own life and in the lives of others.

God has given each of us the gift of time. How is God inviting you to use your gift of time more wisely? ~OC

0

Embrace the Moments

Today’s a new day! Love those around you. Stay true to them. Take time with family and friends. Laugh together. Cry together. Celebrate together. Mourn together. Grow together. Cherish what you have right in front of you. Embrace it all. ~OC

0

Call to Community

Today’s a new day! As we scroll through social media or turn on the tv, there is no doubt we are living in messy times. Sadly, across America and the world so many people have become anxious and isolated. 

But, as I look at all of the craziness going on around us, all I can think about is how badly we need each other. We were not created to be divided. We have been called to appreciate and celebrate diversity. The inclusion of every culture, nation and people is an element in the reign of God, in the pictures we’re presented throughout the New Testament of the Bible, from the start of the book of Matthew to the end of Revelation. Even while much remains uncertain, the Spirit continues to summon us into the messy places of discomfort. We have been called to serve others, to help all know God’s love and peace.

We are living in messy times, but our hearts should be full of passion. A passion for stability and hope. A passion to know and see the value and worth of others around us. A passion to experience a sense of belonging and meaning. Only together, can we step forward into the mess of discomfort and build a community flourishing with the values of inclusion, hospitality, service, compassion, love and mercy. A community that is united and committed to looking past our differences and instead focusing on our commonalities.

If you have this same passion, then I welcome you to the call to community. Welcome to the mess of relationship, differences, variety and perspectives. Come on into this community where being the hands and feet of Jesus is not just another Christian cliche.

To build a community like this I need you. This community is created to welcome all people into the community as we explore the margins and celebrate the goodness. 

Welcome to the mess! Let’s go make a difference. ~OC

0

Someone Is Always Watching

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I want to continue sharing some wisdom and life lessons with you. I pray they will challenge and encourage at least one person. ~OC

Today’s Lesson: Someone is Always Watching

It doesn’t matter who you are or what your background, there are people that only you will reach in life. . Your life story may be the very things that God uses to help someone else draw near to Him. As you respond with grace and integrity, you will show others that God can change lives. People need to see examples of lives that are being transformed by the power of the Gospel. Lives like yours. 

Do Not Minimize Your Own Influence

Your example is just as needed as the person in the public spotlight. The different talent shows on tv are just one example of our celebrity-worshipping culture. Everyone wants their fifteen minutes of fame. Some seek after it by their talent. Others do outrageous stunts just to gain national attention. You’ve seen the headlines. Especially in Florida. People seem to think that their value is based on how many people know their name. Just spend some time scrolling through social media.

Sadly, the Church is not immune to celebrity-worship. People who just want to know Jesus better are overwhelmed with the myriad of YouTube teachings, TV programs, internet articles and blog posts. The underlying belief of many media consumers is that if someone is on TV or the Internet, then they must be special, they must have a direct pipeline to God and so what they have to say must be true. They must know. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. Not only that, church members are often admired simply because they are in a prominent position. Someone who sings on the platform is implicitly considered more important than the person who serves in children‘s ministry because more people see what they do. We evaluate people by their gifts rather than their character. None of this is healthy or appropriate. That isn’t the way God evaluates any of us. Thank goodness!

The people who live close to you, your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, the people who see the real you, need to see just that, the real you. They need to see how Jesus makes a difference in your life, just as the people close to me need to see the difference He makes in mine. A public person, no matter how genuine, can only share small portions of their real life with the larger audience. People will most likely see them at their best and not have the balance of everyday living to give them an accurate idea of that person’s character. 

When it comes to the people in your life, you have the advantage over the TV personality and your own pastor. You have the ability to let people see how Jesus affects every area of your life. How you respond differently than you used to in any number of situations, how you react to the little annoyances that used to set you off or how you respond to the fears that used to send you into a tailspin. These things will have an influence on the people who live closest to you. As they see you daily conforming to the image of Christ Himself, you give them an example that is accessible. They will see you mess up and make corrections, asking forgiveness when you hurt someone or make a poor choice in life.

That is something they will never get from a YouTube channel or TV preacher. They are more likely to feel like they might be able to follow your example than that of the public Christian who is put on a pedestal because they can only show their best self and seem to have it all together. 

Someone is always watching the way you live.

Live in a manner worthy of the Gospel. 

It never occurred to me that anyone was watching me and how I lived until I started sharing my life journey dealing with multiple life threatening health issues. As I live out this journey, I have had multiple people share how my story has helped them walk out their own journey of crisis. That shocked me. My journey can be so intense that sometimes I am unable to realize how my journey affects those around Laura and I. But because we have tried to listen to God’s direction for us, even though it can be hard and not what we wanted, it affects others in a positive way. They chose to walk through their pain instead of run from it, just as we have. That was the example we have unknowingly set for them. I could have never Imagined that this would be the case. 

Your godly example is exactly what someone else needs.

As you walkout the Gospel in your everyday choices you help others to draw closer to God. People notice a lot more than you think. The thing to keep in mind is that the people in your inner circle will notice the small changes in your life. They will notice when you remain calm instead of stressing out. They will notice that you respond with gentleness at the time when many would react with harsh words. They will notice that you are able to give love when it would be easier to be a little selfish. People will see the difference Jesus is making in your life. And your example of a transforming life may be just what they need in order to begin wondering if Jesus could transform them as well. 

Dear Friends, you may feel small and insignificant, but you’re not. You may not be on a platform, but God has given you a sphere of influence that is unique. It’s a place the public preachers and Christian performers cannot fill. The people in your life need you. They need you to show them what it means to truly follow Jesus. As you follow Him whole-heartedly you are lighting the path for them. Do not worry about your fifteen minutes of fame. Live a life of faithfulness and you will have a more meaningful impact than you could ever realize. 

Key takeaway: Your example is exactly what someone else needs to lead them closer to God.

A Scripture: “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” ~1 Timothy 4:12

A Challenge: Think of some people in your life that don’t know God or maybe they’re just walking through a tough time. Has your example helped them to see God a little more clearly? How could your example make a difference in their lives? Make a commitment to pray for those people and be intentional about living a godly example for them. 

Prayer:  Dear God, it is often hard for us to believe that our small and large decisions really impact someone else. Help us to stay connected to You. Help us to keep You and Your will our main focus. Help us to make choices that please You, from the smallest judgement to the largest commitment. Help us to live for Your glory and let our transforming lives lead others closer to You. Amen

0

Along the Journey

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I want to continue sharing some wisdom and life lessons with you. I pray they will challenge and encourage at least one person.

Twenty-three years ago, I sat in a sterile doctors office as the doctor shared I would probably be dead within five years. As I have continued running this crazy beautiful health journey, I have heard similar predictions from many doctors. Today as I write these words, my prognosis is not great. But as I write these words, I laugh a little because God continues to let me thrive in life despite the poor diagnosis. Throughout the past twenty-three years, God has answered the prayers of many. He continues to give me a reprieve. God continues to work miracles.

During the past twenty-three years of this crazy beautiful health journey, I have learned many lessons. I thought I would share a few.

I have learned to not fear death, but anticipate it with joy.

I love the words of the Apostle Paul,

“As it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” ~Philippians 1:20-21

I believe most Christians do not fear going to be with Jesus. It’s the pain and suffering that often precedes death that makes us a little uneasy. But I think as Christians, we tend to look at it the wrong way. Most of us think that we are in the land of the living en route to the land of the dying. But nothing could be farther from the truth. If we know Jesus, we are in the land of the dying traveling to the land of the living. I have experienced amazing peace during my hardest days. I have felt contentment and surrender wash over me.

Be brave. When I open my eyes each morning, I hear God singing these words to my heart.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” ~Psalm 27:1

Most days , I deal with a lot of pain, weakness, nausea and horrible headaches. But each morning, I make the choice to get up and look forward to all that God has planned for me that day. Now that doesn’t mean I do not have rough days. I definitely do. That is why I always try to share the good and not so good parts of my journey. But I look at others who are suffering more than me and see how they do not complain and are living life with a beautiful sense of joy. I figure if they can face the pain with faith, so can I.

Let God’s Word empower you.

Speak it. Pray it. Sing it. Envision it. The more you allow God’s word to feed your soul, the stronger your spirit becomes. When I am feeling too weak to do anything, I open God’s word or listen to praise music to help me through those tough moments.

I love what the psalmist wrote in Psalm 119:92-93:

“If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have given me life.” ~Psalm 119:92-93

Remember. Be grateful. Be glad. 

As I have faced this health journey, Laura and I have decided to continue traveling and making precious memories. On the really tough days, I look at those pictures and re-live those beautiful moments. I feel so blessed to connect with friends old and new, with family, with former classmates and everyone I have met on this amazing life journey God continues to let me live. All I can do is smile. Well, I cannot really smile that well these days, but I try.

The Apostle Paul shared the following words while sitting in a prison cell:

“For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God,” ~1 Thessalonians 3:9

Embrace each precious moment. 

I have learned to not leave any words unsaid. Hug the people you love (or fist bump). To share and give freely. Leverage your time and energy for God’s purpose.

Over the past twenty-three years, I have faced death many, many times, but God allows me to keep standing. During this journey, I have learned what really matters in life: my relationship with God, my family/friends, serving others and not waiting for the perfect time to make amazing memories.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

When life gets dark, the glory of God shines brighter. I am not afraid of the valley of the shadow of death, because He is with me….closer than I could have ever imagined! ~OC

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑