Tag: Fear

A History Lesson

As we celebrate the 4th of July I have seen several post about immigration. I even posted one myself. And of course, several people had to comment about how those coming to America for a better opportunity better do it legally or go back to their home country. That got me to thinking. How many of our ancestors came to America legally over the years? So I did a little research.

When talking about immigration policy many people argue that immigrants coming to the United States should all have to enter the United States legally in order to obtain legal immigration status in the United States.Their argument goes something like this:  We cannot make any changes or exceptions in our immigration laws to allow for any type of “amnesty” because it would be unfair to our ancestors and all those who have immigrated legally to the United States over the years. My response to this argument is that you have to examine what the law actually was when you or your ancestors immigrated to the United States. Unless you are a Native American, everyone currently in the United States is either an immigrant or a descendant of a person who immigrated to the United States. 

When our ancestors came to the United States from countries around the world, they did not enter the United States “legally” or with any sort of visa. That’s because immigration laws were virtually non-existent in 1775, as America was still a colony of the United Kingdom. When most of our ancestors arrived at the different ports, they were likely not asked many questions or subjected to “extreme vetting.” They likely did not have visas or any permission to enter the colony. Under the Naturalization Act of 1790, as long as a person was a “free white person” of “good moral character” (who decided that one?) and they could prove that they had resided in the country for two years and had lived in the same residence for a year, they would be allowed to apply to become citizens. This is how most of our ancestors became citizens. Of course many people were brought to America against their will and in shackles. But today, those white ancestors would be considered “illegal aliens” upon arriving in the United States, and after being illegally in the United States for more than one year, would have to leave the country and come back legally through proper processing, with a waiver of the ten year bar. And only if they had a qualifying relative that petitioned for them.

The immigration laws in the United States have become much more restrictive and complicated, especially since 1996 with the passage of the Illegal Immigration Reform and Immigrant Responsibility Act. Plus the different restrictions that have been enacted since the Reform Act of 1996. So when people argue that their ancestors came to America legally, so current immigrants should as well, I challenge them to examine their family history to determine how their ancestors first came to America. Let us not forget our history. America was built on the backs of immigrants. Most of them here against their will. It’s not politicians who make America great, it’s the immigrants who have traveled far and wide and have endured dangerous situations that make America great. If it were not for so called “amnesty” our ancestors and the rest of our family descendants would not have been “legal” or allowed to become American citizens.

That’s your history for today. I encourage each of you to study history before making blanket statements. ~OC

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Hope and Joy

Today’s a new day! The following post is one that I have been writing and rewriting for months. I am not sure it’s exactly everything I want to say, but sometimes you just have to put it out there and not worry about the response.

What if I shared with you that when I look at this crazy beautiful health journey I am on, I do so with hope and joy in my heart?

In the midst of countless hospital visits, treatments, pain and surgeries there has been indescribable hope and joy that has surrounded my every step.

Let me share some truth with you. It has not been my health journey that has that brought me this hope and joy. Far from it. The hope and joy that I live with comes from someone else. You see, as I have experienced my health declining over the years, I have become intimately aware of how fragile life really is. I have become more aware of how short, and how painful our time can be on this journey called life. This has led me to crave for a life that God promised to those who would follow Him. A life where there is no more pain, no more suffering, and no more death. 

As I have run this grueling health journey, I found myself more desperate for God’s word and the peace of heaven. There were days I fixed my eyes on heaven just to get through the day. But then something amazing began to happen. The more I focused on God’s promises and heaven, the more I felt alive and renewed. Even though my body continues to decline, I have experienced more hope in the promises found in the Bible than ever before. I started leaning more into those promises because that’s where I find my hope, peace and strength. I have to make a daily choice to totally embrace God’s promises or allow this health journey to consume me. To become my identity.

I began to see the scriptures in a whole new way. Verses like the following:

“My brothers and sisters, you will face all kinds of trouble. When you do, think of it as pure joy. Your faith will be tested. You know that when this happens it will produce in you the strength to continue. And you must allow this strength to finish its work. Then you will be all you should be. You will have everything you need.”~James 1:2-4

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” ~Romans 8:18

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I know as some of you read this post, you’re facing major storms in your life. Life seems overwhelming at times. So, when some guy is telling you to “think of it as pure joy”, it might bring out feelings of anger rather than joy. I get it. But just for a second asked yourself, “What if these verses are true?” What if even during the toughest moments of your journey, the cancer diagnosis, the Parkinson’s diagnosis or some other challenge is actually being used to make you perfect and complete, lacking in nothing? And that even the deepest hurt will someday be replaced with insurmountable love, peace, and joy.

The hope and joy I am writing about may not always look like happiness the way we understand it. The hope and joy that comes from following God and focusing on heaven is not the same as what the world defines as joy. I believe it’s far more rewarding.

The world connects joy to a moment, experience or circumstance. So, if life is currently full of sunshine, we have plenty of reasons to celebrate. But the amazing thing about God’s joy is that nothing in our life could be going right, but with God’s help, we can still find the strength within our soul to praise, to help others, and ultimately, still have hope and joy.

The darkest moments of my health journey are filled with hope and joy because I continue to cling to the beautiful promises of God. They are my lifeline. And as I continue to hold onto that hope, my head miraculously stays above the raging seas. The storms that surround me haven’t changed, but I know even the biggest battles in my life cannot take away my most precious gift in life, my relationship with God. And for that, I am forever grateful.

As I close out this post, I want you to hold onto the following truth: The hope and joy that comes from Heaven, far outweighs the trials we will face here on earth. ~OC

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Men and Mental Health

Today, I am writing about a tough subject but one I believe is very important. As many of you know, my current health issues make it very difficult to share or write down my thoughts. I have actually been working on this piece for several months. I know it’s rather long, but I hope you will take the time to read it. Also, even though my health issues are of a physical nature, this health journey has been filled with moments of sadness and feeling a bit lost.

Today’s a new day! June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. I speak with so many men who feel the need to take care of everyone else, but tend to ignore the issues going on in their own lives. So men, today I want to share a little about taking care of yourself.

We have all heard the age-old saying, “Real men don’t cry.” As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey, I have tried very hard to take a stand against this toxic perspective because real men indeed cry, laugh, hurt, and heal. It’s about time that we stop being afraid to talk about men’s mental health, the different struggles we deal with and start speaking some truth. It’s time to get real.

So, why is it that men’s mental health is still stuck back in the 1950’s in so many ways?

In a world that often misunderstands and judges men for showing some emotions and having real conversations, it can be frightening to bare our souls, not for sympathy or attention, but for connection and understanding. I am often asked why I have chosen to be so open and transparent about my health battle? Well, simply– it is therapeutic for me, and I hope it offers a beacon of hope and understanding to someone out there, walking through their own struggles.

From a young age, the world dictates a playbook on “How to Be a Man,’ essentially promoting a culture where men feel the need to wear a mask, suppressing their true feelings and emotions.

But I believe it’s time to ditch that old playbook and rewrite a new one. A playbook that is open to real conversations. A playbook that encourages men to reach out to other men and discuss the tough issues that we have been taught to suppress. It’s time for real talk. It’s alright to feel, to break down, and to reach out.

I believe many men are concerned about being judged for sharing their feelings and being real. Sharing my experiences and being vulnerable hasn’t always been a walk in the park. In fact, at times it’s like walking a tightrope balancing between being open and the fear of being misunderstood or judged.

But, we must get past the fear of being judged so we can experience true healing. As I have shared my own story, not only have I experienced healing but have seen the power of healing touch other lives around me.

Yes, men’s mental health is indeed a real thing and let us not turn a deaf ear to this issue, but lend a listening one, a shoulder to lean on, and an encouraging word to someone walking through a tough season.

So, how do we rewrite the playbook on men’s mental health? It starts with you and me. It begins with acknowledging that mental health is not a sign of weakness, it is not a cry for attention, but a genuine call for help.

If you or someone you know is dealing with some mental health issues, I encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your strength and courage to fight back.

The road to unmasking and understanding men’s mental health is a journey filled with speed bumps, turns, and rocky roads. But I encourage you to embrace the journey with all its imperfections and challenges.

In conclusion, remember that it’s alright to stumble, to fall, but most importantly, to rise again, with a life filled with hope, passion, purpose and laughter. Never forget you matter, you belong and you’re loved. ~OC

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Keep It Close

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings From OC.” This was written back in 2021.

I want to encourage everyone, that whenever God does something amazing in your life (big or small) or a testimony takes place, to write it down because you will need it to look back on one day. When you’re drenched and soaked in a storm, it is so, so easy to forget about what God did yesterday. It is so easy to accuse God of being unloving, unjust, unfair, and everything else and forget how just a few weeks/months/years ago you were singing His praises and telling Him how wonderful He is.

All of us can look back on something that God has done in our past to encourage us in our present season. God has brought you through too many storms and tough seasons of life. So do not let the enemy fool you into thinking God has abandoned you all of the sudden. Remember, the enemy’s job is to deceive, kill and destroy. God is a fair, loving, compassionate and just God, who will never abandon or forsake us. ~OC

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Walking Through The Unknown

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings of OC.” This was written in 2018. I hope and pray it will bring you some encouragement. ~OC

Have you had moments in life, that you allowed fear to overwhelm you? Those moments where you just crawled under the covers because the fear had become too much for you to handle. I think we have all had moments of fear to some degree.

I remember when my health first started to fail me. Fear decided to pay me a little visit. Even though I do not remember it, my wife Laura shared I started giving some of my possessions away. The one thing I do remember about that period of time is, I opened my Bible and this familiar passage jumped off the pages:

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” (Isaiah 43:1-2)

As I read each word slowly, God showed me something I’d never seen: My fears were like flames and my efforts to protect myself were like gasoline. Every attempt to ease my fears was like dousing fuel on the fire, and now it was consuming me.

Gently, the Holy Spirit reminded me of 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

Suddenly, I knew the only way to overcome my fear and walk in faith was to walk through what most of us fear the most. The Unknown. At that time and even today, I have no idea what my future holds health wise, but thankfully I know who holds my future in his hands. I am often reminded of this scripture: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

I had to make the decision to put fear away and walk through this health journey trusting God, realizing that even if my worst fears came true, He would still be with me.

Obviously, that doesn’t mean I no longer have moments of fear creep into my life. I am human after all. But in those moments, instead of letting fear overwhelm me I open my Bible and allow God’s words to flow over me. I lift my prayers up to God and asked for him to help me overcome whatever fear is trying to steal my peace. As I do these two things, I begin to feel that fear wash away.

In this long crazy beautiful health journey, I have learned that fear loses its power when we actively trust God more than what we fear.

Today, ask God to show you what you are afraid of. What is paralyzing your faith and keeping you from living confidently in His peace and freedom? And then make the choice to allow God to help you walk courageously through your fears, holding God’s hand and trusting His heart to lead, protect and preserve you each step of the way.

Dear God, help us walk through our fears by facing them instead of being paralyzed by them. We want to take Your hand and trust Your heart with all that is within us. Give us courage today to take the first step. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen

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Let Love Win

Today’s a new day! Don’t you think fear has won often enough in your life? Don’t you think anger has won enough in this world?

What if, just for today, you did absolutely everything in your power to see that love wins for a change? What if your small acts of love spread from community to community and across the world? What if it creates an absolute tidal wave that circles and embraces the entire world?

What if one act of love and kindness from you was the very thing someone needed to restore their faith in humanity or try one more time to keep running their race? To not give up.

What if you are the spark the world is waiting on to shift from a fear-based mindset to a love-based mindset?

Let’s let love win today and see what happens!

Wherever you are on your journey, remember you are awesome! Show some love and kindness today. ~OC

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Someone Is Always Watching

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I want to continue sharing some wisdom and life lessons with you. I pray they will challenge and encourage at least one person. ~OC

Today’s Lesson: Someone is Always Watching

It doesn’t matter who you are or what your background, there are people that only you will reach in life. . Your life story may be the very things that God uses to help someone else draw near to Him. As you respond with grace and integrity, you will show others that God can change lives. People need to see examples of lives that are being transformed by the power of the Gospel. Lives like yours. 

Do Not Minimize Your Own Influence

Your example is just as needed as the person in the public spotlight. The different talent shows on tv are just one example of our celebrity-worshipping culture. Everyone wants their fifteen minutes of fame. Some seek after it by their talent. Others do outrageous stunts just to gain national attention. You’ve seen the headlines. Especially in Florida. People seem to think that their value is based on how many people know their name. Just spend some time scrolling through social media.

Sadly, the Church is not immune to celebrity-worship. People who just want to know Jesus better are overwhelmed with the myriad of YouTube teachings, TV programs, internet articles and blog posts. The underlying belief of many media consumers is that if someone is on TV or the Internet, then they must be special, they must have a direct pipeline to God and so what they have to say must be true. They must know. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. Not only that, church members are often admired simply because they are in a prominent position. Someone who sings on the platform is implicitly considered more important than the person who serves in children‘s ministry because more people see what they do. We evaluate people by their gifts rather than their character. None of this is healthy or appropriate. That isn’t the way God evaluates any of us. Thank goodness!

The people who live close to you, your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, the people who see the real you, need to see just that, the real you. They need to see how Jesus makes a difference in your life, just as the people close to me need to see the difference He makes in mine. A public person, no matter how genuine, can only share small portions of their real life with the larger audience. People will most likely see them at their best and not have the balance of everyday living to give them an accurate idea of that person’s character. 

When it comes to the people in your life, you have the advantage over the TV personality and your own pastor. You have the ability to let people see how Jesus affects every area of your life. How you respond differently than you used to in any number of situations, how you react to the little annoyances that used to set you off or how you respond to the fears that used to send you into a tailspin. These things will have an influence on the people who live closest to you. As they see you daily conforming to the image of Christ Himself, you give them an example that is accessible. They will see you mess up and make corrections, asking forgiveness when you hurt someone or make a poor choice in life.

That is something they will never get from a YouTube channel or TV preacher. They are more likely to feel like they might be able to follow your example than that of the public Christian who is put on a pedestal because they can only show their best self and seem to have it all together. 

Someone is always watching the way you live.

Live in a manner worthy of the Gospel. 

It never occurred to me that anyone was watching me and how I lived until I started sharing my life journey dealing with multiple life threatening health issues. As I live out this journey, I have had multiple people share how my story has helped them walk out their own journey of crisis. That shocked me. My journey can be so intense that sometimes I am unable to realize how my journey affects those around Laura and I. But because we have tried to listen to God’s direction for us, even though it can be hard and not what we wanted, it affects others in a positive way. They chose to walk through their pain instead of run from it, just as we have. That was the example we have unknowingly set for them. I could have never Imagined that this would be the case. 

Your godly example is exactly what someone else needs.

As you walkout the Gospel in your everyday choices you help others to draw closer to God. People notice a lot more than you think. The thing to keep in mind is that the people in your inner circle will notice the small changes in your life. They will notice when you remain calm instead of stressing out. They will notice that you respond with gentleness at the time when many would react with harsh words. They will notice that you are able to give love when it would be easier to be a little selfish. People will see the difference Jesus is making in your life. And your example of a transforming life may be just what they need in order to begin wondering if Jesus could transform them as well. 

Dear Friends, you may feel small and insignificant, but you’re not. You may not be on a platform, but God has given you a sphere of influence that is unique. It’s a place the public preachers and Christian performers cannot fill. The people in your life need you. They need you to show them what it means to truly follow Jesus. As you follow Him whole-heartedly you are lighting the path for them. Do not worry about your fifteen minutes of fame. Live a life of faithfulness and you will have a more meaningful impact than you could ever realize. 

Key takeaway: Your example is exactly what someone else needs to lead them closer to God.

A Scripture: “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” ~1 Timothy 4:12

A Challenge: Think of some people in your life that don’t know God or maybe they’re just walking through a tough time. Has your example helped them to see God a little more clearly? How could your example make a difference in their lives? Make a commitment to pray for those people and be intentional about living a godly example for them. 

Prayer:  Dear God, it is often hard for us to believe that our small and large decisions really impact someone else. Help us to stay connected to You. Help us to keep You and Your will our main focus. Help us to make choices that please You, from the smallest judgement to the largest commitment. Help us to live for Your glory and let our transforming lives lead others closer to You. Amen

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Lead Me Home

I wrote this piece back in 2019, but do not believe I ever posted it. The Lost Writings of OC continues.

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk this crazy beautiful health journey, I’ve become comfortable in the wilderness moments. The ups and downs, the barren place is a place that I have spent so much time in that it has come to feel like home. I know how to operate there. I know how to encourage others that are in it. Because when you walk through enormous storms in life and God shows up in huge ways, you become changed by it. I see the beauty in the storms. The beauty that can be present even in suffering. That’s a message I believe in and will continue to share. I truly believe God is present with us in the pain and the struggle and the vast and dreadful desert. And that He uses everything–absolutely everything–for our good and His glory. Even when it doesn’t feel good in the moment. Even when it feels like a million shades of awful. The wilderness place is never where our stories end.

Over the years, I have been asked this question many times, but I often wonder if people truly want the answer. How could God allow it? Why? Why does God allow evil to happen? But when we know God and are following Him, we begin to see more of His character. This God of extraordinary love that comes through for us over and over again–in His way and in His timing and in a way that He knows is best for us. Do we want the answer if it means enduring pain is part of the process? If it makes us more like Him? If it strips us of pride and idols and all the junk that just continually brings us down? How could a good God allow it? We see the world through narrow eyes. We see the temporal things. We see just what is in front of our face at the time. And often what is there is so overwhelming–how could we possibly see anything else? But we have to take the time to look at the full picture. We have to think about how our story will ultimately end. Our God who gives us the choice of whether or not to love Him–because could we truly love Him if He didn’t give us that option? He is too big to accept that kind of response. He wants us. He wants us to love Him for who He is because He already loves us for all of who we are. And with the option to love Him also comes the option not to love Him. To travel our own path. Each of us have a will to choose, and we all at different points choose the wrong one. And the world is broken and full of pain and how do we even begin to reconcile it all? How do we accept that He is still good? He promises to be our God. Our deliverer. Our Savior. Our refuge. Our strength. God promises that we are held safely in His everlasting arms. So why doesn’t He move those enormous mountains in our paths? Why does He make us take the slow and sometimes painful climb to the top? The climb that eventually leads us up to the steepest point where we can look below and see the landscape that was always there but was just always over the next valley. This view from the mountaintop allows us to take it all in–the whole picture. The whole journey. To see both where we have come from and where we are going. The reality is, God doesn’t remove every single struggle in our path. He wants us to work through them. He wants us to put one foot in front of the other and feel our muscles trembling with every single step. Sometimes we feel like we are drowning in our struggles and our sorrows and we cry out to Him for rescue, and the tide just gets stronger. We forget that He already parted the seas for us. That our lives aren’t measured from one situation to another, but from His Son making the way for us and the forever that still awaits us. That there is another side to the mountain that we are climbing and the narrow road we walk is so much shorter than we could possibly believe. Every single step up the steep road strengthens our bodies to continue the walk home. It is hard, and it is painful, and at times we fall over and feel like we couldn’t possibly take another step. But it’s still the road home. Are we going to choose it anyway? Are you going to choose a road that is full of pain and sorrow and hurt? Because He says it is part of the path. That suffering was always a companion on our journeys. By following God’s way we are signing up for struggles and heartbreak. But would He ask this of us if it wasn’t worth it? This world is full of so much pain and sorrow, and it is far too much to bear. People all over the world struggling more than we could possibly fathom, and why does He allow it? But would we know His goodness if He didn’t? Because there is a difference between allowing something to happen and condoning it. Approving of it. And if you spend anytime in His word, you will know that God so wholly and completely disapproves. He doesn’t like it anymore than us when we are faced with a huge mountains to climb in our path–but He will use it. He will redeem it. He will show up and walk the journey with us. Because He is good, and He wants the best for us. He can see more than we can and sometimes that means the hard road. Sometimes the hard road is the only road. But I believe it’s worth it. Walking this health journey has not been easy, but I wouldn’t change it. I embrace the lessons learned. The losses endured. I will continue to walk this journey that will eventually lead me Home. ~OC

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Simply David

Today’s a new day! I wanted to take a few days before responding to the irresponsible comments made by Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. earlier this week.

Laura and I have a wonderful and loving nephew living with autism. I should correct myself and say that David is thriving in life. As a child, the doctors shared David would never talk, or be able to take care of himself. Oh, how wrong they were. Today David is in his mid twenties and will talk all day if you let him. He also works two jobs and pays taxes. David has won multiple Special Olympic Medals. He and his father volunteer weekly at their church. Everyone at church knows and loves our nephew. David is living his best life.

So when Mr. Kennedy stood before the cameras and declared that children like David “will never pay taxes, never hold a job and never write a poem, I looked on with horror. Mr. Kennedy then went on to claim autism is “a preventable disease” and promised a lightning-fast investigation to root out its so-called environmental causes. While we must look at every possible cause of autism, including environmental factors, we cannot ignore the decades of scientific research that has already been conducted.

And remember, this is coming from a man with no real medical background.

This coming from the man responsible for guiding the United States’ national health policy. Let that sink in for just a second.

What Mr. Kennedy did at that podium was spew misinformation. It was a new level of fear-mongering. It was the 21st-century version of a snake oil salesman promoting false promises with no credible science.

Let me share what autism actually looks like.

It looks like David playing tennis or pickle ball. It’s David being so excited to dress up like Spider-Man to bring some enjoyment to others. It looks like David always checking in on me during and after a hospital stay. It looks like David making Auntie Laura a sandwich or bringing her a fresh drink. It looks like David constantly looking for ways to serve others. That’s what autism looks like.

David is not a victim. He does NOT fit any of Mr. Kennedy’s cartoonish depiction of helplessness.

I realize autism looks different for every individual and family. But in my nephew’s case, he is kind, he continues to learn and he is thriving in life. David has already defied every negative prediction made about him when he was a child.

And if I have to listen to Mr. Kennedy or any other politician turn my nephew into a sound bite for political gain, I will keep using the power of my voice and the power of the pen to call out such blatant misinformation. And I will continue to encourage everyone to reject these false narratives by voting against them on election day.

My nephew is not a tragedy. And he is certainly not an epidemic. He is simply David. A young man with hopes and dreams like the rest of us.

I would encourage everyone to actually do your own research on autism and other health issues and not the words of a man who only cares about pushing his own twisted agenda. Thanks for reading. ~OC

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