Tag: Forgiveness

Spoiler Alert

Today’s a new day! Spoiler Alert: God can use people who do not believe in him or call themselves Christians.

It is so easy to forget that God often uses non-Christians men and women to move His kingdom projects forward. It is a sad misunderstanding to assume God won’t, or can’t, use people who haven’t surrendered their life to Him. All throughout the scriptures we read numerous stories about how God used unbelievers to accomplish His great purposes. We cannot forget that people such as Moses weren’t the only instruments in God’s hand; God used the Pharaohs of the world too.

Furthermore, if we think evil is the only attribute God can use in pagans, then we’ve been misguided. God can use good qualities in ungodly people to accomplish His work too. One only needs to read the story of Rahab to see this play out. Check out Joshua 2:1-24.

Here’s a fact. Everyone who has ever walked this earth, was made in the image of God. Yes, we are all marked by sin and the sanctifying work of the Spirit helps the regenerate the brokenness, but all humans, saved or not, still carry God-like qualities deep inside.

The misguided view that God cannot use the good qualities of unbelievers for His plans could easily lead to an unhealthy us versus them mentality if we’re not careful. In reality God doesn’t side with Christians only, He sides with all humanity. Of course, God would love to reconcile the unbelieving world back to Himself, but He can use non-Christians and their good works to further that mission. Years ago, when I realized this fact, it revolutionized the way I view the world and the way I live. I began to see non-Christians for who they are and the wonderful talents they possess, instead of merely projects to be converted. This has motivated me to invite my non-Christian friends into the work/ministry I am involved with so they too can make a lasting difference just by offering a little bit of who they are.

So to my brothers and sisters in Christ, invite your non-Christians friends or friends of another faith to your next event. Their gifts could be a true blessing. ~OC

2

Embrace Your “Can’t”

Today’s a new day! I used to tell people that the word “Can’t” should never be uttered from their mouth. I used to use the popular phrases “Just Do It,” and “Sleep when you’re dead.” Yes, I was that guy.

In today’s world, we are pushed and even encouraged to take on more and more, and we are seen as weak or strange when we are unable, or do not want to do so.

For me, this mindset came from my passion for life. It was fueled by a deep craving to achieve everything in life. It’s what made me intense, driven, competitive, and hardworking. It was who I was. Until I wasn’t.

As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for 22 years, it took me some time to come to terms with my “can’t.” Early on in my health journey, I constantly pushed through truly excruciating symptoms, like level 10 pain, exhaustion from weeks of no sleep, and unrelenting crushing fatigue even when I did sleep. I pulled myself together through constant life-threatening health issues, and participated in physical activities that I had no business attempting with a smile on my face (like running multiple marathons with no training) – while inside my body, my mind, and my spirit were dying a slow and agonizing death. Yet I still didn’t listen.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Because I believe I could have spared my body a lot of pain and damage, my mind a lot of anxiety, if I had just learned to accept, or even embraced my “can’t” earlier in my health journey. I would have also spared my bride from a lot of worrying.

I want to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. I hope you take the time to read and reflect on them.

1). “Can’t” Is Not Weakness:

The biggest hurdle when it comes to dealing with “can’t” is intimately understanding on a heart-knowledge level that being unable to do certain things because of your illness does not mean you are weak, lazy, unintelligent, or unmotivated. This is where I was stuck for a long time. I had believed my whole life that if I couldn’t perform at peak levels, it must be my fault and that I just wasn’t trying hard enough. So, when my illness started to seriously affect my work quality in the career I had worked so hard to achieve, I compared myself to those around me, and told myself that I was just “too stupid” or “lazy” to do the job. At times I listened to the lies that I was worthless.

Hello Over-Achiever. I want to talk to you directly now. You burn-the-candle-at-both-ends doers. You know-you-can-conquer-the-world types. You did not choose your health issues. You didn’t work hard your whole life just to become a “lazy” and “unmotivated” on a whim. That’s not you and that’s not what is happening in your life. It’s not a matter of motivation, drive, desire, or ambition. It’s not a matter of not trying hard enough. It’s a matter of your body revolting against the true self of your mind and spirit. It’s a matter of your earthly vessel failing the real and eternal you that lives inside. The true and eternal you is still the same as it has always been: driven, motivated, intelligent, and strong. Once you accept this and understand the gulf between the two “yous,” you can take strides to get your body back on board so that a more collected, collective you can get back to truly living.

Accepting your “can’t” isn’t weakness; it’s actually strength. It means that you are strong enough to look your health challenge squarely in the face and get after the business of Overcoming. It means that you are brave enough to accept that your life right now must take an unexpected detour. It means that you are willing to admit your physical “can’t” so that you can open your mind and spirit to what you can and must do to regain your health. And the only way you can allow your focus to properly shift to healing is to first completely embrace your illness and your “can’t.”

2. “Can’t” Allows Healing:

Sadly, it took me several years to embrace this truth. I am encouraging you not to wait. Because if you don’t fully believe and fully accept that you are sick, you will keep running the rat race. But if you look deep in your heart, listen to your body, and know in truth that you are sick, then you can accept it. Embrace it.

I cannot stress this enough. Because until you wholly feel the weight of it, until you embrace it and believe it, you can’t get truly angry about what your illness is stealing from you. And until you get angry you cannot mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare for the battle ahead of obtaining a full and accurate diagnosis, proper treatment, and hopefully better health. This is how coming to terms with your “can’t” sets you on the path to healing.

If you are in the early stages of your health journey, this next part may shock you. The medical system (at least in the United States) will not completely facilitate you regaining your health. Not at all. Unless you are exceptionally fortunate, your journey is not going to look like: get sick, see a doctor, get better. No, if you have a chronic or complex illness, generally speaking you need to prepare for battle. You need to arm yourself with knowledge and with the mental fortitude to be your own advocate. You need to prepare to fight for your life. You need to push for answers and drive the process. No one else will or can do it for you.

This is why embracing your “can’t” is so important. Because when you truly realize what you “can’t,” you get really, really angry at this invisible thief of life that is your illness. I don’t mean “bitter” angry, I mean “motivated and determined” angry. And you’re going to need that determination to drive the (sometimes grueling) battle that lies before you. And that drive to press forward in the battle is the only thing that will lead you to wellness.

It’s all you, Warrior! So get really angry at your “can’t” and resolve in your mind to do everything you humanly can to regain your health.

3. “Can’t” might be forever (But it’s not your identity): One of the more valuable pieces of advice I can share with you is that your “can’t” might be forever. That can be a difficult pill to swallow. But your “can’t “ does not need to become your identity. My life is much more than all the “limitations” I face on a daily basis. My life is full of hope, adventures and overcoming all the bumps in the road.

4. “Can’t” Makes Room for “Can”

Another critically important thing that coming to terms with your “can’t” does is that it makes room in your life for your “can.” Some of your “cans” may look something like:

1). I can make healthy, life-giving meals for myself to help my body heal.

2). I can research my illness for myself so that I have the knowledge to ask good questions at my appointments and to make educated treatment decisions.

3). I can maintain a positive attitude, despite how I feel.

4). I can make time for self-care activities that will help my body.

5). I can surround myself with people who encourage me in my health journey.

6). I can purposefully structure my life so that it supports wellness and healing.

7). Even though I couldn’t yesterday, today I can go for a short walk or bike ride.

8). This morning, I can rise early and sit peacefully to watch the sun rise

9). Right now, I can make positive choices to help with the symptoms I’m experiencing.

10). Don’t get hung up on committing to daily schedules of “cans” or expecting some type of minimum performance of “cans.” While it’s absolutely important to have bigger, more overarching “can” goals, embrace what you can do today and accept that tomorrow’s “cans” may look very different based on your health. Every day is a new opportunity to discover and put into practice the things you can do.

Here are some practical steps that can be used to work towards peace with your current “can’t:”

1. Pray

2. Journal

3. Reach out to family/friends

4. Reach out for professional help if needed

Coming to terms with your “can’t” may be difficult, but it’s so important and it opens the way for healing and wellness to come in time. You are unbelievably strong to live with your symptoms day in and day out and even stronger to accept and face such a challenge head on. Be encouraged that your “can’t” is just for right now and that nothing we face on this side of Heaven is forever. ~OC

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

0

Transformed Nonconformist

Today’s a new day! Did you know there are 1,430 hate groups in the United States alone. Sadly, those numbers are growing. While many tend to be small, they have political power and want to see unrest across America.

Hate groups will continue to poison hearts, stir up violence, and polarize people in 2024 and beyond. So to gear up for these challenges, I reflected back on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s book Strength to Love. I encourage you to check it out.

The book is a fascinating read, but one of the phrases Dr. King used truly grabbed my attention. Dr. King calls us to be “Transformed Nonconformist” Here is the scripture that Dr. King used to come up with this beautiful term.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2).

Transformed nonconformists reject racism, discrimination, hatred and anything that tears our society apart and tries to divide us.

Transformed nonconformists break the chain reaction of evil by refusing to “fight fire with fire.”

Why? Because as Dr. King explains, “Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence… in a descending spiral of destruction” This is one of the main reasons for not responding in kind to evil. In the powerful words of Mahatma Ghandi, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

The second part of Romans 12 describes the divine reason we break the chain reaction of evil. The Scriptures command us to conquer hate through the power of love:

*Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (v. 14).

*Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone (v. 17).

*If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (v. 18).

*Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath (v. 19).

*If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink… (v. 20).

*Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (v. 21).

These commands indicate that a transformed nonconformist is in fact a peacemaker. And these peacemakers break the chain reaction of evil – through suffering, absorbing pain and responding in love.  

Peacemaking is not for the faint of heart. Peacemaking demands an uncompromising rejection of the unloving ways of the world and a radical embrace of the enemy-loving way of Jesus.

I read an article once where a civil rights worker was asked how he was able to endure racial hatred and violence while working for justice. “The hatred coming at me in those fists and clubs was bouncing right off me back into the air, and it could just continue to spread like electricity. I decided not to fight back. I would let my body absorb that hatred, so that some of it would die in my body and not bounce back into the world. I now see that my job in the midst of evil is to make my body a grave for hate.”

Did you catch that last sentence? “Making my body a grave for hate.” That sounds scary. It is! That is why I chose to follow Jesus – the one who made his body a grave for hate, the one who rose from the grave, and the one who said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you” (John 20:21).

I pray you will join me on this journey of Love over hate. ~OC

0

Peace and Harmony

Today’s a new day! I enjoy peace and harmony. But sometimes I allow myself to get caught up in the distractions of social media. So starting today, I will no longer be responding to anyone’s negative or conspiracy theory posts, comments or text. I know I am not going to change anyone’s way of thinking, so why allow myself to get caught up in all the negativity. As I walk out this 4th quarter of my life, I want to enjoy the ride. Blessings. ~OC

0

Joy!

Today’s a new day! Being chronically ill comes with a lot of ups and downs and a wide range of emotions. These emotions can be so strong and overwhelming at times. As you walk through the different stages of being chronically ill, you are faced with a lot of situations that you could never prepare for and those moments can make you feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster. Physical health affects your mental, emotional and spiritual health more than people would think.

When you are chronically ill, your life becomes a vicious cycle of intense symptoms and flares. This can leave you feeling completely hopeless and lost at times. But even at moments when it feels impossible to find joy, it is possible, even on the darkest days. Some days you have to search a little harder for that joy but it is always there. Joy looks different to everyone. As a chronic illness warrior it is so important that you surround yourself with joy because it is easy to lose hope of experiencing pure joy again.

I find joy in many ways in my life and I really make an effort to make those things a part of my daily living. One of the main ways that I find joy/happiness is by leaning into my faith. My faith has allowed me to overcome a lot of tough moments in this journey. I also surround myself with the love and support of my family and the few friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. A supportive group of people have the ability to turn my bad days into great days. I am so thankful for each of them because they not only provide peace/joy, they also give me so much hope. I also find joy and happiness in doing things I love such as: writing,listening to music and making memories with my bride.

The past month has been filled with more tough news regarding my health. Looking back on the past month, joy has still there even in the darkest days. Sometimes during hard times things become so overwhelming that we forget that even then we can still find joy in the little things. It is okay to have bad days but it is so important that everyday we challenge ourselves to stop and find happiness and joy. Joy always outweighs the bad and it is so important that we remind ourselves of that. Have a great day! ~OC

0

Hope

Today’s a new day! There is a four-letter word that is woven into the fabric of our souls, and that word is HOPE. Having a purpose in life encourages self-determination. It all starts with a belief, an idea that can create a powerful purpose filled life.

The seed of hope is planted deep within each of us. If we water those seeds, amazing and beautiful things will be created. Hope creates motion, motion creates action, action creates results, results create achievement, achievement creates self-confidence, and self-confidence creates the mindset that we can and will achieve everything God desires for us.

Through hope, we can conquer our fears and turn a life of trials into a life of triumph, a mess into a message, fear into faith, and a test into a testimony. There are times our hope button can get stuck. Here is how I believe we can activate our stuck hope button.

We have to decide to change our mindset from selfish to selfless, from “poor me” to helping someone else who is walking through a major trial. Our selfless time engaged in someone else’s life battle could help kick-start hope within them and start a chain of of hope dealers. Hope is contagious!

How awesome would it be if we each lived a life of Helping One Person Everyday. Helping others succeed brings so much hope and meaning into our lives. How beautiful it is when we give of ourselves. It fills us up as well and provides us with the strength to conquer life’s challenges.

We all have the ability to share hope with those around us. It could be a smile, kind word, listening, or lending a helping hand.

It is never too late to start living a life of Hope. You never know the difference you can make in a person’s life. So today be bold, compassionate and loving. Share Hope. Help one person today. ~OC

0

Prideful Strut

Today’s a new day! We need to stop walking with a prideful strut. We need to stop being smug and selfish. We need to stop making life about us. We need to stop being a “Me Society.” We need to put the focus back on God. He is the only one who needs to be famous. We need the Holy Spirit to subdue our fleshly pride. We need to walk with a limp of total dependency on God. ~OC

0

I Asked…

Today’s a new day! As I have posted some videos about my current trip to Plains, GA for President Jimmy Carter’s 100th Birthday Celebration, several people have reached out and shared they wished they would have known I was coming because they would have loved to make the trip with me. I was like what?

I just checked my past text and social media post and back at the first of August, I sent out text, messages and social media posts inviting people to join me on this trip. I knew back then before my dementia diagnosis, that traveling by myself was not a good idea. And Laura’s busy work schedule did not allow for her to make the trip with me. I also had numerous conversations with friends on the phone and in person about this trip. Several shared they were interested, but never followed through. Only one friend stepped up and shared he would go. I am thankful he did.

So while I am sorry many are missing out on this amazing trip, it’s not because you were not asked. It’s because you chose not to respond. I am not mad at you, but do not act like you were not invited.~OC

0

A Big Question

Today’s a new day! What is keeping you from living the complete life? I know that is a big question, with many potential answers. But God designed each of us to live a complete whole life.

Here are a few things, I believe can help us live out the life God created for each of us.

A New Chapter. Too many of us are living in the past. We continue to relive past disappointments. Past failures. Or sometimes we live in past successes. We all know someone, who is eager to tell us about winning the 5th grade all county championship forty years ago. Don’t get me wrong, we should celebrate past successes. We should also learn from past mistakes. But we cannot live in the past. The great thing is, we have the opportunity to start a new chapter each morning. So close the chapter on your past and start writing a new one.

Worthy. Has anyone told you lately you are worthy? That you are important. No matter your past, God finds you worthy. He sent his Son down from heaven to die for us. I think that proves how worthy we are in God’s eyes.

Comfort Zone. I believe to live the whole life that God created for us, we have to step out of our comfort zones. We have to be willing to take some chances in life. God designed us to be creative. To be adventurous. We cannot truly experience life, if we choose to stay in our nice easy comfortable zones.

Labels. Stop wearing the labels the world puts on us. How many people continue to wear the labels put on them as a child? Not smart enough. Too short. Too weird. Too heavy. Too tall. Your from the wrong side of the tracks. So many people continue to wear these labels into adulthood. Today, I encourage you to take those labels off. Trash them. You are more than a label. You were created by a loving God to live an incredible life. To Dream. To Succeed. To Thrive.

Courage. It will take courage to start feeling Worthy. It will take courage to step out of your Comfort Zone. It will take courage to take off the Labels you have been wearing for years. But I promise you it will be worth it.

Today, I encourage each of us to think about these five points. To start living the incredible life, God has created us to live. Will you make a commitment to living wholeheartedly? ~OC

0

Dear Hate,

Today’s a new day!

Dear Hate, I trust this letter finds you well. Actually, from what I see on tv and social media, it looks like business is booming for you lately. I have to give you credit, you have managed to keep yourself in the news and social media 24/7 these days and that’s not an easy feat. You are like a chameleon. You continue to reinvent yourself. Sadly, your brand is a whole lot stronger than most people realize. Somehow you have been able to leverage all that fear out there into a pretty impressive machine.

But, thankfully we have the answer to overcome all hate. A beautiful four-letter word called Love. Oh yes, Love. That’s your kryptonite.

Love is the beautiful response to all the hate we see in the world. Love can rebuild everything that hate tries to destroy.

Love is a redemptive song that people keep finding a way to sing together no matter how difficult the days become. Sure, maybe we have had a rough stretch lately, but we’ve been through this all a million times before and Love has always been able to defeat hate.

And I believe Love- will answer now too.

Let’s face it, deep down we all know how this is going to play out, don’t we? Hate will grab the headlines and make a dramatic statement and chaos will briefly come, and you’ll feel and seem like you’re winning. Hate will get a bit of traction and celebrate for a moment, but it will not be long until Love rises up and slowly drives back all the destruction that you have managed to raise.

Like yeast in the dough, Love will quietly and silently do the healing work. From person to person, heart to heart, breath by breath. Love will dance!

Hate, you probably have noticed that Love doesn’t resort to all the theatrics you’re known for. Because the truth is, Love and goodness is humanity’s default setting and when people stop to breathe, when they step away from all the hate, when they draw nearer to one another and recognize the goodness in the other’s eyes—then hate you’re defeated.

I believe people will always return to compassion and mercy because those are the most powerful forces on earth. And when they do, they find Love there waiting. They’ll embrace Love and Love will embrace them.

Yes, hate may occasionally corrupt the system, but Love is the system. Love is the truth that people know without knowing they know it. Love is a deep sacred place that the human heart will always seek at its level. When hurting, grieving, weary souls search for rest, Love is where and when people finally find themselves at home.

So hate, you can have your eye for any eye, and Love will keep making peace.
Hate, you can demand revenge and Love will keep forgiving.
Hate, you can spew venom and Love will turn its cheek.
Hate, can strike with a closed fist, and Love will stretch out its open hand.
Hate, you can gloat and brag and feel quite pleased with yourself for the momentary chaos you’ve manufactured—and Love will press firmly into that which endures and defeats it.

Hate, you are a powerful and resilient, force, but you’ll never overcome Love.

Hate, no matter what unspeakable damage you do, Love will bring even greater healing.

Love will always have the last word.

Hate, look around you. Look beneath the headlines and the noise. Look deeply into the eyes of those who get Love and see how much they’re willing to do.

Love will not be denied.

Hate, you cannot win this one, my bitter friend, no matter what you, the news, social media or the fear mongers say.

This place belongs to Love. ~OC

1

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑