Tag: Forgiveness

Men and Mental Health

Today, I am writing about a tough subject but one I believe is very important. As many of you know, my current health issues make it very difficult to share or write down my thoughts. I have actually been working on this piece for several months. I know it’s rather long, but I hope you will take the time to read it. Also, even though my health issues are of a physical nature, this health journey has been filled with moments of sadness and feeling a bit lost.

Today’s a new day! June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. I speak with so many men who feel the need to take care of everyone else, but tend to ignore the issues going on in their own lives. So men, today I want to share a little about taking care of yourself.

We have all heard the age-old saying, “Real men don’t cry.” As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey, I have tried very hard to take a stand against this toxic perspective because real men indeed cry, laugh, hurt, and heal. It’s about time that we stop being afraid to talk about men’s mental health, the different struggles we deal with and start speaking some truth. It’s time to get real.

So, why is it that men’s mental health is still stuck back in the 1950’s in so many ways?

In a world that often misunderstands and judges men for showing some emotions and having real conversations, it can be frightening to bare our souls, not for sympathy or attention, but for connection and understanding. I am often asked why I have chosen to be so open and transparent about my health battle? Well, simply– it is therapeutic for me, and I hope it offers a beacon of hope and understanding to someone out there, walking through their own struggles.

From a young age, the world dictates a playbook on “How to Be a Man,’ essentially promoting a culture where men feel the need to wear a mask, suppressing their true feelings and emotions.

But I believe it’s time to ditch that old playbook and rewrite a new one. A playbook that is open to real conversations. A playbook that encourages men to reach out to other men and discuss the tough issues that we have been taught to suppress. It’s time for real talk. It’s alright to feel, to break down, and to reach out.

I believe many men are concerned about being judged for sharing their feelings and being real. Sharing my experiences and being vulnerable hasn’t always been a walk in the park. In fact, at times it’s like walking a tightrope balancing between being open and the fear of being misunderstood or judged.

But, we must get past the fear of being judged so we can experience true healing. As I have shared my own story, not only have I experienced healing but have seen the power of healing touch other lives around me.

Yes, men’s mental health is indeed a real thing and let us not turn a deaf ear to this issue, but lend a listening one, a shoulder to lean on, and an encouraging word to someone walking through a tough season.

So, how do we rewrite the playbook on men’s mental health? It starts with you and me. It begins with acknowledging that mental health is not a sign of weakness, it is not a cry for attention, but a genuine call for help.

If you or someone you know is dealing with some mental health issues, I encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your strength and courage to fight back.

The road to unmasking and understanding men’s mental health is a journey filled with speed bumps, turns, and rocky roads. But I encourage you to embrace the journey with all its imperfections and challenges.

In conclusion, remember that it’s alright to stumble, to fall, but most importantly, to rise again, with a life filled with hope, passion, purpose and laughter. Never forget you matter, you belong and you’re loved. ~OC

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Passion and Purpose

Today’s a new day! As men, our first question to another man usually is “What do you do for a living?” As men our careers tend to be our identities in so many ways. But what happens when that identity is taken away? Shattered into a million pieces when the doctors tell you that you have multiple life threatening illnesses that have no cure. Within hours of hearing that devastating news, what I did for a living didn’t matter anymore. But I still needed purpose. Something to distract me from all the test and multiple hospital stays. That’s why through prayer, I became a medical missionary/coach. Way back when my health journey first started, I was not qualified to help anyone walk through their medical journey. Still not sure I am. Only through God’s help and guidance, am I able to sit with people who are going through some of the toughest battles they have ever faced. I consider it an honor to help others navigate through their health journey. Through my own health challenges, I have found peace, joy and purpose.

As I talk with other patients, I always share the following: “It is not what happens to us during this season of struggles, but how we react that truly defines who we are.” So how do you want to be defined? Health issues or no health issues, that question should dictate how you live.

As I continue walking through this health journey, I am a big believer in being as honest and open as possible. Men are notoriously bad at sharing their feelings, but I want to change that narrative as I continue to live out this crazy beautiful health journey.

We get pushed along in this world by consumerism, but it really doesn’t matter what car, house or latest technology we have. No, what really matters in this journey called life is love, relationships, kindness, caring for others, being surrounded by family and friends. I want to create the best relationships I can, and live the happiest life I can, because I no longer know what my timeframe is (none of us do). So I will continue to live life with passion and purpose. ~OC

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Embrace the Moments

Today’s a new day! Love those around you. Stay true to them. Take time with family and friends. Laugh together. Cry together. Celebrate together. Mourn together. Grow together. Cherish what you have right in front of you. Embrace it all. ~OC

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Judgement Free Life

Today’s a new day! Take time to listen to other people. People that do not look like, worship like, speak like or vote like you. Ask questions that help you know more about them. Listen with compassion. Hold back from judgement and seek understanding. When you are done listening, listen some more. Wait on God for guidance on how to respond to challenging situations and people. Dare to live a judgement free life. ~OC

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I Have Decided

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings from OC.” This was written in back in 2023. I am saddened that we are still talking about this in 2025. I pray you will take the time to read and reflect on the following words.

Christian Nationalists are busy attempting to build communities of delusion. Their false doctrine is pure fantasy and far from the love and common sense of Jesus and his teachings. Christian Nationalism is not true Christianity. I think it’s time for true Christians to stand up against this false theology and bring common sense back to the Christian community. It’s time to bring back the true teachings of Jesus.

It’s time for truth and love to stand up. A moment for the real Christian community to realize that Jesus has been forsaken by the false teachings of Christian Nationalism. To see how this false doctrine teaches power over people, the rich over the poor and nationalism over global freedom.

Think about the following words from Jesus, “For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!” ~Matthew 25:35-40

Those truly serving Jesus will say “Yes and amen! We want to love and serve everyone.” Christian Nationalist will say “No, that’s woke. They need to take care of themselves.” You see, Christian Nationalism is a bad tree. Remember, Jesus said a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.

It’s time for a radical vision and movement, where everyone is welcomed to the table. A time to say no to division and evangelical extremism. It’s time for the real Christian community to be defined by the openness of Jesus and his love and reverence for all. Something you will not find in the Christian Nationalism movement.

I encourage everyone who truly loves Jesus and His teachings, to let your conscience be decisive.

For me, I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back. ~OC

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I Have Decided

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings from OC.” This was written in back in 2023. I am saddened that we are still talking about this in 2025. I pray you will take the time to read and reflect on the following words.

Christian Nationalists are busy attempting to build communities of delusion. Their false doctrine is pure fantasy and far from the love and common sense of Jesus and his teachings. Christian Nationalism is not true Christianity. I think it’s time for true Christians to stand up against this false theology and bring common sense back to the Christian community. It’s time to bring back the true teachings of Jesus.

It’s time for truth and love to stand up. A moment for the real Christian community to realize that Jesus has been forsaken by the false teachings of Christian Nationalism. To see how this false doctrine teaches power over people, the rich over the poor and nationalism over global freedom.

Think about the following words from Jesus, “For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!” ~Matthew 25:35-40

Those truly serving Jesus will say “Yes and amen! We want to love and serve everyone.” Christian Nationalist will say “No, that’s woke. They need to take care of themselves.” You see, Christian Nationalism is a bad tree. Remember, Jesus said a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.

It’s time for a radical vision and movement, where everyone is welcomed to the table. A time to say no to division and evangelical extremism. It’s time for the real Christian community to be defined by the openness of Jesus and his love and reverence for all. Something you will not find in the Christian Nationalism movement.

I encourage everyone who truly loves Jesus and His teachings, to let your conscience be decisive.

For me, I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back. ~OC

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Divine Insight

Today’s a new day! Our ability to judge others requires a divine insight that we simply do not have. So do everybody (including yourself) a huge favor:  Do not judge. ~OC

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Stop Judging

Today’s a new day! If you’re ever tempted to judge another person and speak harshly of them, here are some sobering words from the Bible to ponder:

“No matter who you are, before you judge the wickedness of others, you had better remember this: you are also without excuse, for you too are guilty of the same kind of things! When you judge others, and then do the same things they do, you condemn yourself.” ~Romans‬ ‭2‬:‭1‬ ‭

Jesus was aware of other people’s shortcomings, but he didn’t stand as a self-righteous judge over them. Instead, He loved them in such a way that they strived to become better people. This is an ideal for all of us to strive for in a world that loves to pass judgment.

Shower your neighbor with love rather than self-righteous condemnation.

Shower your family and friends with understanding and compassion, rather than targeting them with resentment and anger.

Shower everyone you meet with goodwill and blessing that inspires them to be better people, rather than tearing down everything they do.

When we think badly of others, it reveals our own shortcomings. The best way to improve the world, is to start with improving our own state of thought. As we collectively love more and judge less, everyone will be better off. ~OC

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Beautiful Journey

Today’s a new day! As many of you know, I was diagnosed with young-onset dementia last September (2024). Life has changed in many ways since that diagnosis. Writing down my thoughts is much tougher these days. This post literally took me several weeks to write. Finding my words to write or speak can be a daunting challenge at times. As I navigate this new reality of living with dementia, I want to share the journey with you. To answer your questions and to share my thoughts for as long as I can. The following is a question I get a lot as I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey.

What gives you the strength to remain positive?

My Christian faith gives me deep meaning in life, giving me hope for the future and a perspective of my life being eternal, not simply limited to what I see and experience on this side of Heaven. This life and my health journey are temporary.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I have met so many people with different health challenges during my journey, all at various stages of ability due to their declining health. But each person still remains an individual, with their true inner being shining through. The eyes remain a window into someone’s soul, and reflect our humanity.

As my thoughts and overall health becomes a bigger challenge, I see more clearly the importance of relationships. I also see and feel myself traveling through a wide range of emotions, even if they become a little more scrambled with the dementia. Our emotions connect us to each other, allowing us to form relationships, which is a mark of truly being human. As this journey takes me deeper within myself, I find myself reflecting more on God and how to truly live life more for Him. This is what gives me an abiding sense of meaning as I travel on this health journey wherever it takes me. Because I know the final destination is filled with peace and ultimate healing. As a Christian, the ending is really the beginning.

So as I continue to run this health race, I remain positive, feeling that I am gaining along this journey a far better sense of what it means to be truly alive and that much can be achieved to help others as I continue travel this crazy beautiful journey. ~OC

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