Tag: Friends

The Reality of the Journey

Today’s a new day! Living with a long term chronic illness can feel very isolating. As the years go bye, more and more “friends” decide the journey is too much for them to handle and they have chosen to disappear from my life. How does one handle going from a great group of friends to basically having no true friends I can really count on? Well, I am still trying to figure that out as I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey.

As I look back on my long health journey, I can remember when my phone wouldn’t stop ringing and our house constantly had people coming and going to visit with me. But as the years have passed and my health has continued to be a constant struggle, less and less people are connecting with me. If I do not make the effort to reach out to people, I literally would never hear from anyone. Sadly, that’s just the reality of dealing with a chronic illness or in my case multiple health issues. I have found that people are great when someone first gets sick. Like I mentioned above, the phone calls and visits are nonstop, but when the illness drags on people do not know how to react, so they tend to bail. So how does one handle the loss of friendships or a different type of friendship in the midst of health issues?

I am not writing this post for sympathy, but to share the reality of living with long term health issues. I am writing this for others who are walking through the same experience, but are not sure how to express their feelings.

Personally, I have tried to continue reaching out to friends and stay connected, but that is getting harder and harder as the years fly by. Also, I am getting tired of being the one always making the effort. I have tried being part of men’s groups, but for the most part that has not been a positive experience. But mostly, I have prayed that God would help me be a good friend. I have learned I cannot control who makes the choice to be part of my life. All I can do is put everything into God’s hands and continue to trust in Him.

Like I shared earlier, this is not a post to gain any sympathy, but to share the reality of living life with long term health issues. Thousands or maybe millions of people with long term health issues could have written this post. My prayer is that this post will help people understand the day to day feelings/struggles of people who are walking through a difficult health journey. Thanks for taking the time to read. ~OC

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College Football In The South

Today’s a special day. Like every other properly raised Southern person it’s my favorite time of the year; college football starts today. Team shirts, hats and jackets are out, Saturday menus and BBQ’s are planned, and the big games are being taped so we don’t miss a bit of action.

That’s college football in the south.  It’s a celebration.  It’s a tradition.  It’s a way of life from late August through bowl season.

For as far back as I can remember, Southeastern Conference football has been a part of my life. Every Saturday I have planned my Fall Saturdays around Florida Gators football. Over the years I have attended numerous games at The Swamp. There is nothing like it. I have been to other college stadiums and NFL games, but nothing compares to sitting in The Swamp on a Saturday with over 90,000 of my closest friends.

Even being grown and married, very little has changed on any given Saturday afternoon in the fall.  The Florida Gators are still the team to root for on those Fall Saturdays. Southeastern Football is still the programming of choice. Those Saturdays are still filled with get togethers or at least texting family and friends throughout the game.

College football is still a special time in the South at any age. Go Gators!! ~OC

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Things I Love

Today’s a new day! As I sit in my hospital room receiving treatments and there being more questions than answers, I started reflecting on life and everything going on around the world. And the conclusion I came up with… the world is a mess.

Do not stop reading yet. This is not going to be a post about all the negative things going on around the world. That would be too easy to write about and very depressing. No, today I am going to share about things that I love and that make me happy. So, here we go.

I love hearing my bride Laura’s voice and seeing her face the first thing in the morning. I love making memories with my bride and making her laugh. I love God. I love hanging out with good friends. I love my family and friends. I love puppies. I love watching manatees. I love sports. I love 80’s music. I love a great movie. I love reading a book that I cannot put down. I love seeing old couples still holding hands. I love hearing babies laugh. I love seeing people overcome great obstacles. I love seeing people laugh and be happy.

I love watching planes fly over and wondering where they’re headed. I love laughing for no particular reason. I love encouraging people. I love walking through a bookstore. I love history. I love visiting museums and historical places. I love to daydream. I love lighthouses. I love my quiet time with God. I love hearing the rain at night. I love the quiet of the morning before the rest of the world wakes up.

I love people watching. I love to pray for people. I love the theatre. I love shopping for running shoes. I love a great t-shirt. I love meeting new people. I love reminiscing about days gone by. I love my medical team past and present. I love a large cup of ice tea with extra ice. I love loving people and being loved. I love still being in awe of God’s creation.

I love watching and listening to birds with my bride. I love a road trip. I love thinking about friends from my school days and thankful I am still in touch with many of them. I love thinking about the ones I have lost touch with and hope they’re living amazing lives. I love that laughter is more contagious than the flu. I love hearing about answered prayers. I love watching people succeed in life. I love cruises. I love hanging out with positive people. I love receiving cards in the mail.

I love watching people pull over on the side of the road to take pictures of a beautiful rainbow. I love old churches and buildings. I love small towns. I love beautiful sunrises. I love amazing sunsets. I love taking pictures. I love the Fall and Winter seasons. I love making up songs. I love singing in the car.

I love mornings. I love a great diner. I love city life. I love watching the ocean. I love sitting on a porch in the mountains. I love old houses. I love a cup of hot chocolate made with milk not water. I love to learn new things. I love hearing a great sermon. I love to write. I love great conversations. I love when people are respectful and kind.

I love all of you for caring enough to read this post. What does your love list look like? ~OC

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Taking A Break

Today’s a new day! I love connecting with people on social media and reading about what everyone is up to. I also love sharing my thoughts and journey through social media and my blog. But I believe it’s time for a break from social media and my blog post.

The past several weeks, I have noticed the time I am spending on social media constantly increasing. I began wondering how much life am I missing by being on social media so much. The Pay Attention and Embrace Life portion of my brain sounded something like this:

“This crazy beautiful health journey is making life more difficult in so many areas of my life. I need to spend more time embracing life instead of looking at a screen. I need to make time for more face to face interactions and less online interactions. I need to spend more time reading a great book and experiencing new music. Or maybe spending more time enjoying the music of my youth and remembering the many memories that those songs bring back. As my health continues to decline, do I really want to spend precious time staring at a screen? Or do I want to make more memories with my bride, family and friends? I need to be present for them. I need to let go of social media in all areas  for a little while and give those around me more time and attention. I need to focus on things that truly matter instead of having my eyes and mind focused on some type of screen.”

“Not only that, but I really need a break. I need to recharge. I need some time to focus on things other than what I am going to write about in my blog or post on social media. With my health issues becoming more of a challenge, it’s getting more difficult to write out my thoughts. I need to use my energy and the brain cells I have left on living life and making amazing memories.”

With that in mind, I have decided to take some time away from all social media and my blog. I have no idea how long this break will last. It will last as long as I feel God telling me to stay away. I believe that a break will breathe some new life into my creativity, which is never a bad thing in the realm of writing. I hope you all understand.

So, I want to wish everyone a Happy Birthday and Anniversary that I might miss as I am away. I pray your summer is filled with family, friends, vacations and good memories. Take time for the important things in life.

Feel free to come by and visit if possible or give me a call. Let’s stay in contact the old school way…in person or actually talking on the phone. See you later. God Bless. ~OC

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A Flicker

Today’s a new day! As this crazy beautiful health journey gets a little tougher each day, I want to take some time to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. The following has been written over a series of weeks and months. I hope it brings a time of reflection as you walk out your own journey.

  • Do not waste your time on things that you don’t enjoy. I have learned it’s hard to succeed in something that you don’t like. Patience, passion, and dedication come more easily when you love what you do.
  • Do not be concerned over other people’s opinions. Being caught up in others opinions can weaken and paralyze you. If you let it, it can grow worse and worse every day until there is nothing left of you, but a empty shell of yourself. Listen to God’s voice and go with it. Some people may call you crazy, but many may be encouraged by your choices.
  • Do not allow any person or situation to control your life. Take full responsibility for your actions. Limit bad habits and try to lead a healthier lifestyle. Find a hobby that makes you happy. Most of all, do not procrastinate. Make the most of each day. Let your life be shaped by the decisions you make not by the ones you didn’t.
  • Do not be so busy, that life slips past you. Appreciate the people around you. May your friends and family always be a source of strength and love. Never take them for granted.

It is difficult for me to fully express my feelings about the importance of these simple realizations, but I hope that you will listen to someone who has experienced how valuable time is.

I am not upset or scared about what lies ahead because this health journey has helped bring meaning and purpose to my life. Each day is a beautiful gift to be celebrated. So every day, I take some time to take it all in. Time is truly a beautiful gift.

As I continue to run this health journey, I have learned that everyone has potential. But potential means nothing without the courage to realize it. To believe that God has given each of us purpose in this life. To turn that purpose into amazing opportunities.

We can move through a life created by circumstances, missed moments and opportunities or we can strive for what we believe in and write the amazing story of our life. I hope you will make the right choice.

I pray you will leave a positive mark on this world. That your life will be filled with hope and meaning. Life is a beautiful playground, where dreams are possible. Yet, we are not here forever. Our life is a short spark in this beautiful world that flies by with incredible speed. So, live your life with meaning and passion. Embrace every moment. Make it spectacular. Make it count! ~OC

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Gift of Time

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings from “OC”. This was written back in 2023.

I have a few questions for you. How are you using the gift of time God has given you? Do you walk around thinking you have all the time in the world?

As I continue to walk out this crazy beautiful health journey, I realize more and more that we are invited not to take our time on earth for granted, but to use it to love, encourage and serve others. God is calling us to not squander the gift of time, but to recognize its limit and value and be deliberate in how we use it.

Here are some practical ways I believe we can use our time more wisely:

**Assess Your Current Schedule. Look at everything you are spending time on for the next few weeks. Evaluate each scheduled use of your time. Ask yourself: “How is God calling me to use my time? What matters most and what is most important?”

**Pray Over Your Schedule and Cut Some Things Out. Ask God in prayer as you look at your schedule: “How would you like me to use my time for your glory?” Through God’s guidance, minimize your schedule and let go of some things that you may have taken on out of obligation or expectations of others.

**Learn to Say No. Once you start being more aware of your use of time, you’ll be better able to say no to things that are not in line with how God is calling you personally to use your time, while saying yes to those select things that are most important.

**Be More Intentional With Your Technology Use. We have all ended up wasting time watching too much Netflix, using social media for long periods of time, and staring at our smart phones. Using time intentionally is not about cutting these things out altogether, but being more deliberate in how much time is used with technology. Consider time limits, paring down watched TV shows, and maybe even short-term technology fasts (for a few hours or days) to break bad habits of time-sucking technology use.

**Spend More Time With Family and Friends.We often hear people share one of their biggest regrets in life is not spending more time with loved ones. Be intentional about paring down your schedule so that you can spend more time with family and friends.

**Set Aside Time for God. Do not get so caught up with your busy schedule, that you neglect time in prayer and studying God’s Word. Take time to listen for the Spirit’s leading, and enjoy this time apart from work and other life duties. As you spend more time with God, you will be better able to hear God’s voice and see God’s actions in your own life and in the lives of others.

God has given each of us the gift of time. How is God inviting you to use your gift of time more wisely? ~OC

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Embrace the Moments

Today’s a new day! Love those around you. Stay true to them. Take time with family and friends. Laugh together. Cry together. Celebrate together. Mourn together. Grow together. Cherish what you have right in front of you. Embrace it all. ~OC

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Honoring ALL Women on Mother’s Day

Today’s a new day! On this Sunday in May we take the time to celebrate all the mom’s out there. I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing mothers. But among all the celebrations, let us not forget today can be a really hard day for many.

For those who have lost their moms…

For those who have absent or broken relationships with their moms…

For those who have lost babies or children…

For those facing infertility issues…

For those going through the long adoption process…

Also, let’s not forget the following group of amazing women:

Those that have chosen to be fur baby moms…

Those that have been blessed with the title of aunt or god-mother…

Those that have decided not to have children.

Let me just say to all of the amazing women out there, you are loved and valued by the community around you, regardless of your current motherhood status.

I personally believe on this day that we celebrate all the beautiful mothers out there, we can also remember to hold a special space for those who find this day hard for various reasons as well.

And I believe there is a way to widen our definition of a ‘mother’ to make this day more expansive and inclusive too.

I have been personally blessed to have a great mom and to be part of a whole family full of beautiful strong women, but I’ve also been equally blessed by so many other women in my life who I am not personally related to.

My friend’s mom’s, teachers, spiritual moms, mentors and friends to name just a few.

I am truly grateful for all the women who have made a huge difference in my life over the years. So on this Mother’s Day, let’s remember that there is more than one way for women to be a “mom” to someone in this world. Happy Mother’s Day! ~OC

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Someone Is Always Watching

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I want to continue sharing some wisdom and life lessons with you. I pray they will challenge and encourage at least one person. ~OC

Today’s Lesson: Someone is Always Watching

It doesn’t matter who you are or what your background, there are people that only you will reach in life. . Your life story may be the very things that God uses to help someone else draw near to Him. As you respond with grace and integrity, you will show others that God can change lives. People need to see examples of lives that are being transformed by the power of the Gospel. Lives like yours. 

Do Not Minimize Your Own Influence

Your example is just as needed as the person in the public spotlight. The different talent shows on tv are just one example of our celebrity-worshipping culture. Everyone wants their fifteen minutes of fame. Some seek after it by their talent. Others do outrageous stunts just to gain national attention. You’ve seen the headlines. Especially in Florida. People seem to think that their value is based on how many people know their name. Just spend some time scrolling through social media.

Sadly, the Church is not immune to celebrity-worship. People who just want to know Jesus better are overwhelmed with the myriad of YouTube teachings, TV programs, internet articles and blog posts. The underlying belief of many media consumers is that if someone is on TV or the Internet, then they must be special, they must have a direct pipeline to God and so what they have to say must be true. They must know. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. Not only that, church members are often admired simply because they are in a prominent position. Someone who sings on the platform is implicitly considered more important than the person who serves in children‘s ministry because more people see what they do. We evaluate people by their gifts rather than their character. None of this is healthy or appropriate. That isn’t the way God evaluates any of us. Thank goodness!

The people who live close to you, your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, the people who see the real you, need to see just that, the real you. They need to see how Jesus makes a difference in your life, just as the people close to me need to see the difference He makes in mine. A public person, no matter how genuine, can only share small portions of their real life with the larger audience. People will most likely see them at their best and not have the balance of everyday living to give them an accurate idea of that person’s character. 

When it comes to the people in your life, you have the advantage over the TV personality and your own pastor. You have the ability to let people see how Jesus affects every area of your life. How you respond differently than you used to in any number of situations, how you react to the little annoyances that used to set you off or how you respond to the fears that used to send you into a tailspin. These things will have an influence on the people who live closest to you. As they see you daily conforming to the image of Christ Himself, you give them an example that is accessible. They will see you mess up and make corrections, asking forgiveness when you hurt someone or make a poor choice in life.

That is something they will never get from a YouTube channel or TV preacher. They are more likely to feel like they might be able to follow your example than that of the public Christian who is put on a pedestal because they can only show their best self and seem to have it all together. 

Someone is always watching the way you live.

Live in a manner worthy of the Gospel. 

It never occurred to me that anyone was watching me and how I lived until I started sharing my life journey dealing with multiple life threatening health issues. As I live out this journey, I have had multiple people share how my story has helped them walk out their own journey of crisis. That shocked me. My journey can be so intense that sometimes I am unable to realize how my journey affects those around Laura and I. But because we have tried to listen to God’s direction for us, even though it can be hard and not what we wanted, it affects others in a positive way. They chose to walk through their pain instead of run from it, just as we have. That was the example we have unknowingly set for them. I could have never Imagined that this would be the case. 

Your godly example is exactly what someone else needs.

As you walkout the Gospel in your everyday choices you help others to draw closer to God. People notice a lot more than you think. The thing to keep in mind is that the people in your inner circle will notice the small changes in your life. They will notice when you remain calm instead of stressing out. They will notice that you respond with gentleness at the time when many would react with harsh words. They will notice that you are able to give love when it would be easier to be a little selfish. People will see the difference Jesus is making in your life. And your example of a transforming life may be just what they need in order to begin wondering if Jesus could transform them as well. 

Dear Friends, you may feel small and insignificant, but you’re not. You may not be on a platform, but God has given you a sphere of influence that is unique. It’s a place the public preachers and Christian performers cannot fill. The people in your life need you. They need you to show them what it means to truly follow Jesus. As you follow Him whole-heartedly you are lighting the path for them. Do not worry about your fifteen minutes of fame. Live a life of faithfulness and you will have a more meaningful impact than you could ever realize. 

Key takeaway: Your example is exactly what someone else needs to lead them closer to God.

A Scripture: “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” ~1 Timothy 4:12

A Challenge: Think of some people in your life that don’t know God or maybe they’re just walking through a tough time. Has your example helped them to see God a little more clearly? How could your example make a difference in their lives? Make a commitment to pray for those people and be intentional about living a godly example for them. 

Prayer:  Dear God, it is often hard for us to believe that our small and large decisions really impact someone else. Help us to stay connected to You. Help us to keep You and Your will our main focus. Help us to make choices that please You, from the smallest judgement to the largest commitment. Help us to live for Your glory and let our transforming lives lead others closer to You. Amen

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Along the Journey

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I want to continue sharing some wisdom and life lessons with you. I pray they will challenge and encourage at least one person.

Twenty-three years ago, I sat in a sterile doctors office as the doctor shared I would probably be dead within five years. As I have continued running this crazy beautiful health journey, I have heard similar predictions from many doctors. Today as I write these words, my prognosis is not great. But as I write these words, I laugh a little because God continues to let me thrive in life despite the poor diagnosis. Throughout the past twenty-three years, God has answered the prayers of many. He continues to give me a reprieve. God continues to work miracles.

During the past twenty-three years of this crazy beautiful health journey, I have learned many lessons. I thought I would share a few.

I have learned to not fear death, but anticipate it with joy.

I love the words of the Apostle Paul,

“As it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” ~Philippians 1:20-21

I believe most Christians do not fear going to be with Jesus. It’s the pain and suffering that often precedes death that makes us a little uneasy. But I think as Christians, we tend to look at it the wrong way. Most of us think that we are in the land of the living en route to the land of the dying. But nothing could be farther from the truth. If we know Jesus, we are in the land of the dying traveling to the land of the living. I have experienced amazing peace during my hardest days. I have felt contentment and surrender wash over me.

Be brave. When I open my eyes each morning, I hear God singing these words to my heart.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” ~Psalm 27:1

Most days , I deal with a lot of pain, weakness, nausea and horrible headaches. But each morning, I make the choice to get up and look forward to all that God has planned for me that day. Now that doesn’t mean I do not have rough days. I definitely do. That is why I always try to share the good and not so good parts of my journey. But I look at others who are suffering more than me and see how they do not complain and are living life with a beautiful sense of joy. I figure if they can face the pain with faith, so can I.

Let God’s Word empower you.

Speak it. Pray it. Sing it. Envision it. The more you allow God’s word to feed your soul, the stronger your spirit becomes. When I am feeling too weak to do anything, I open God’s word or listen to praise music to help me through those tough moments.

I love what the psalmist wrote in Psalm 119:92-93:

“If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have given me life.” ~Psalm 119:92-93

Remember. Be grateful. Be glad. 

As I have faced this health journey, Laura and I have decided to continue traveling and making precious memories. On the really tough days, I look at those pictures and re-live those beautiful moments. I feel so blessed to connect with friends old and new, with family, with former classmates and everyone I have met on this amazing life journey God continues to let me live. All I can do is smile. Well, I cannot really smile that well these days, but I try.

The Apostle Paul shared the following words while sitting in a prison cell:

“For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God,” ~1 Thessalonians 3:9

Embrace each precious moment. 

I have learned to not leave any words unsaid. Hug the people you love (or fist bump). To share and give freely. Leverage your time and energy for God’s purpose.

Over the past twenty-three years, I have faced death many, many times, but God allows me to keep standing. During this journey, I have learned what really matters in life: my relationship with God, my family/friends, serving others and not waiting for the perfect time to make amazing memories.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

When life gets dark, the glory of God shines brighter. I am not afraid of the valley of the shadow of death, because He is with me….closer than I could have ever imagined! ~OC

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