Tag: Friends

Are You a 3am Friend?

Good evening! It’s 10:15pm here in South Florida, as I sit in my recliner and write this post. I have a question to ask? Do you have a 3am friend?

OC, what in the world is a 3am friend? I’m glad you asked. A 3am friend is a friend you can call at 3am when the storms of life hit. Where most people would probably not even answer the phone, a 3am friend welcomes your call.

The 3am friend is one of the most important people in our lives. It doesn’t matter if these are work friends, faith friends, or family relations.

You can call that 3am friend because you’re confident that they care about you even when they are distracted by their own challenges or recovering from a hard day. You can also trust them to respect and support you even when they see you at your worst.

Do you have 3 a.m. friends? More importantly, are you a 3 a.m. friend for others?

I hope your answer to both questions is, “Yes, of course.” But that isn’t true for all of us, nor is it true all the time. There are all kinds of fancy ideas and theories about “community.” I don’t pretend to have a mastery of what all possible communities could or should look like. But at the end of the day, communities do one critically important thing: they create relationships. Supportive and loving relationships.

The simplest way to build community is by letting others know that we want to be their 3 a.m. friend. Maybe you are ready to be that 3 a.m. friend, and they don’t know it.

On a number of occasions, friends have surprised me by calling me in the middle of night with a crisis. Perhaps they needed someone to support family members waiting tensely in an emergency room. Perhaps they were overwhelmed by the pressures of life. Maybe they needed someone to just listen to them. Maybe they needed prayer.

Over the years, I have come to realize that it is an honor to be trusted in moments like that. When someone shares their vulnerability, they are inviting us to know them in a deeper way.

If you’ve never done it, I suggest that, right now, you call or text the people that you know are your 3 a.m. friends. Thank them for filling this role in your life even if you’ve never needed to make that call. If there are people that you know whose middle-of-the-night calls you would welcome, consider letting them know how you feel.

While we can talk about “building community” in fancy ways elsewhere, this may be the most important community you will ever have. God knows you need them and they need you.

So, if you ever need a 3am friend, please reach out to me. I would be honored to do life with you. Even at 3am. Blessings. ~OC

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Beautiful Gift

Today’s a new day! In late 2002, I was diagnosed with several forms of crippling arthritis. I would spend nearly a year taking multiple experimental drugs to help fight the arthritis. Unfortunately, those medications did more damage than good. Fast forward to August 2003, I had a chest scan done after coughing up blood on my way home from work. That scan would change my life forever. A few weeks after the scan a biopsy would reveal that tumor sitting in my chest was cancerous. The results would change the way I live life forever. After having the tumor removed a short time later, I thought the worst was over. I had no idea that four years later I would be diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s. Of course my symptoms had shown up years before, but I never paid any attention to them. I blew it off as stress or fatigue. Then a few short years later, I would be diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. Maybe I should have started playing the lottery. Then about eight years later, I would be diagnosed with Gastroparesis. What are the odds? Well, some on my medical team have shared I am one in two billion. Where’s that winning lottery ticket?

Over these past twenty-two years, I have learned, and continue to learn, about living with persistent pain, near-constant fatigue and constant unsteadiness. I stress living, though I am also learning about dying. We’re all, always, dying-while-living and living while dying. My experiences with these multiple health issues simply make me more aware of death’s relentless work and also, mercifully, makes me more attentive to life’s beautiful gifts. Among them are:

The amazing gift of conversations, laughter, tears, prayers, encouragement and amazing times with family and friends.

The beautiful gift of music and books.

The beautiful gift of memories from my running days.

The beautiful gift of a call or visit from friends.

The amazing gift of sunrises and sunsets.

The gift of a quiet morning before the battle of another day begins.

The amazing gift of experiencing healing in so many different ways.

The gift of experiencing the many blessings of God.

The beautiful gift of hearing God speak to my spirit.

The gift of a quiet evening on the balcony with my bride.

The beautiful gift of almost 25 years with my bride.

The amazing gift of continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride.

The gift of outliving all the predictions of my death.

The gift of knowing God has everything under control.

In the time I have left (I am taking on the challenge to outlive the current prognosis), I intend to live close to the veil, at the threshold, and at the feet of the God upon whom angels descend and ascend. I hope to say what I hear, describe what I see, and offer what I receive because it is good, hopeful and healing. Every day, I choose to be The Man Who Refuses to Die and embrace the beautiful gifts of life. ~OC

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Friday Night in the 80’s

It’s Friday! Let’s take a trip back to the 1980’s in West Palm Beach, FL. You have had a long week at school. It’s time to relax and let loose. You spend a lot of time getting ready for a night on the town. Gotta look good! Ladies have to have that 80’s hair on point. Guys have to pick just the right cologne. You jump in a crowded car and see where the night takes you. First stop is the mall. Do you hit the Palm Beach Mall or the Cross County Mall? Maybe you scope out both. If you hit the Cross County Mall, you might check out what’s playing at the AMC Movie Theater. Then you might scroll over to the Arcade. Oh, everyone is getting a little hungry. You head down to Mamma Leone’s for a slice or two. You hang out for a while and decide what’s next. No one can decide on a movie, so you decide to head to Galaxy Skating Rink. You’re bound to find some friends skating to the amazing sounds of the 70’s and 80’s. You spend a few hours skating round and round, then you decide it’s time to head back to the Cross County Mall and get some ice cream at Swenson’s. By that time some new friends have jumped in the 🚘. Maybe you know maybe you don’t. It really doesn’t matter. After making yourself half sick on all the ice cream, you decide maybe you’ll hit a midnight movie at the theater. Maybe you have a friend working there who will let you in for free. After a night of fun, you head home with some amazing memories. Memories that will last a lifetime. Enjoy your Friday night! ~OC

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Sharing My Journey

Today’s a new day! I did not choose this journey. I didn’t choose to become an Overcomer or The Man Who Refuses to Die. But God, in His wisdom, has allowed me to live much longer than my medical team’s predictions. My blog is a peek into how I run this crazy beautiful health journey.

I am a journal keeping and scripture reading man. In the twenty-two years of running this crazy journey, I have learned to let God’s words flow through every area of my life. God has allowed me to become a traveling prayer warrior, a storyteller and missionary.

As I have run this race, God has taught me to not rush through the stories of life. He has shown me how to slow down and really listen to peoples stories and embrace the beautiful interruptions of life.

I am thankful God did not give me the whole story of this crazy health journey at once. No, in His wisdom God has only given me what he knows I can handle at that moment. Of course, without God I could never handle any of this. That’s why I choose to put everything in His hands.

As I share my journey, I try to be as honest as my heart allows. I want people to see both the pain of this journey and the faithfulness of God in the midst of the storms.

I will never minimize the darkness. Because light shines brightest in the darkness. ~OC

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Soundtrack of My Life

Today’s a new day! I thought I would have a little fun with this post. How would my crazy beautiful journey sound if it was set to music?

As I open my eyes on this Beautiful Day, I Rise Up and thank God he always Stands By Me and I Raise a Hallelujah. With Every Little Step, I am Livin’ On a Prayer because these days my body Rattles. Some mornings I think about the Glory Days and remember my body was Born to Run, but today I Dream On because I have learned to Stand Tall and I choose to live life as a Overcomer. As I make my way around My House, I remember It Is Well With My Soul. As I think about Breakfast, I wish I was Hungry Like a Wolf. As I turn on the news, all I hear is Rumour Has It, and all this negativity is Killing Me Softly. Man, you gotta to Pray just to make it today. We all need to Come Together on this Yellow Brick Road and stop all this Jive Talkin’. All this Poison makes me get down on a Bended Knee and live with Gratitude at the Mention of Your Name. I stop and take a look at the Man In The Mirror and I think How Can We Mend A Broken Heart? But I will choose to live Like a Rock because that’s My Prerogative. Some days I just enjoy Rainy Days and Mondays. But Ain’t Nobody going to steal my Joy and I am going to Shake It Up and embrace the Good Times. I will continue to live in Amazing Grace. I wanna live With Arms Wide Open. I am a little Older, but thankfully I am Still Standing and feel Forever Young.

So today, be careful of Careless Whispers and Don’t Let The Sun Go Down without showing some Forgiveness. Today Relax, Because He Lives and took care of everything on The Old Rugged Cross. ~OC

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Seasons

Today’s a new day! This journey called life is made up of many seasons
some seasons slip away, never to be seen again while other seasons look like they’re slipping away, but they have only just begun

Like the dim light on the road ahead on an evening run, we only get a glimpse of the secrets of the world
May never pass this way again

Noises all around us
the seasons come and go
May never pass this way again

The dreams we dream keep us moving forward in the difficult seasons of life, those dreams keep us flying like an eagle on a warm summer breeze
May never pass this way again

Like Dr. King in the olden days
we must gather all our courage and live out our dreams
May never pass this way again

So cast away your fears
Our dreams will ebb and flow
different seasons will come and go
May never pass this way again

I wanna laugh with family and friends
I wanna cry and not waste a tear
I wanna dream and live in the moment
May never pass this way again

I wanna dance with my bride on a cool summer night to the sounds of the 80’s in the background
I wanna drive down the highway with adventure in my heart and some Motown playing on the radio
May never pass this way again

On those tough days when my body is failing me, I want to look in the mirror and not see a life of washed out dreams, on those days when it’s hard to breathe, I wanna hear Journey in the background reminding me Don’t Stop Believing
May never pass this way again

As the season change, I’m still standing, maybe not better than before, but living as an Overcomer
I wanna keep dancing in the light
May never pass this way again. ~OC

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Mile Marker Moments

Today’s a new day! I will never forget Sunday November 14, 2004. A little over a year after being diagnosed with cancer and having my chest cracked open to remove a golf ball tumor, I completed my very first half marathon on that day. I was blessed that so many friends and family members were at the finish line to help Laura and I celebrate. What a memorable day. My running days gave me so many amazing memories.

I am incredibly thankful for what I call “Mile Marker Moments.” What are Mile Marker Moments? They are moments in life where everything hits the wall. A moment where you have to decide if you continue on or if you call for a ride to the finish line. During my marathon days, my Mile Marker Moment came at mile 19. My body was done. The music on my playlist and the cheers from the crowd were just not enough. At mile 19, I always wanted to throw in the towel. But in that moment, God would fill my body and mind with amazing energy. The strength to get through all the pain and doubts, to continue on and run strong through the finish line. As much as I loved crossing that finish line, the real lessons were learned at mile 19. I truly value the Mile Marker Moments of life.

Mile Marker Moments teach us:
My last year running marathons was extremely tough. My body was really starting to shut down and every training run and marathon was filled with pain. My times had went from somewhat respectable to something far from respectable. Running was no longer easy for me. But after each marathon that year, I would spend time reflecting on the race and my results. I would always walk away with a teachable moment. It was on me to take the time to embrace those lessons and learn from them. Just like mile 19 of a marathon, we have to commit to embracing the valuable lessons of life instead of quitting.

Mile Marker Moments challenge us:
During that last year of running marathons, there were times I really hated running. The pain, the slow pace were overwhelming at times. Here I was the Blessed Overcomer of running, the guy whose story for some reason was encouraging others and I was struggling. But I challenged myself to do better. That can be difficult when your body is betraying you. During those low moments, I would use every race to challenge myself to learn and hopefully do better the next race. We need to use the mile marker moments of life to fuel us for the next opportunity.

Mile Marker Moments shape us: All the tough moments in running and life have strengthened my faith. God has used all of those Mile Marker Moments, to make me a better and stronger person. The Mile Marker Moments of my crazy beautiful health journey remind me that even in my darkest moments, God is still in control. The Mile Marker Moments of my life have blessed me with the opportunity to have some amazing conversations with people dealing with their own mile marker moments. During those conversations, I encourage people to let those mile marker moments help shape them, but not become their identity.

So as you face your own Mile Marker Moments, allow them to reveal God’s purpose for your life. Let them remind you to never give up and keep your eyes on the finish line. ~OC

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Joyful Warriors

Today’s a new day! Are you a joyful warrior? Would you like to be? I hope so. That’s who we are called to be as we run this crazy beautiful journey. We are called to love God above all else and others like ourselves. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but the benefits are truly out of this world.

Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you (2 Corinthians 13:11).

A joyful warrior is someone who’s fighting the storms of life with joy, not only in their own battles, but helping fight the battles that their family and friends are walking through. Because when we walk through a storm with someone else, we cannot help but experience the presence of hope and joy.

And isn’t that our purpose in life? To love others with God’s love. Most of the time these acts of love are very small and we might not even notice them ourselves. But the impact can be tremendous. As we walk through difficult moments with friends and loved ones, we can be conduits of great joy and deep refreshment.

Yes, ultimately our lives are in God’s hands, but we also need other people to walk with us on this journey called life. We are called to live in peace, unity and love. It does matter how we treat each other. We can be joyful warriors by helping those in need. Because it truly takes a village to spread hope and live with joy. But it can be done. Because God is always with us. His supply of joy is unlimited. Besides loving to pour out that sweet joy, God also loves sharing his hope, love and grace.

God is the ultimate joyful giver. But we are also called to be joyful givers. God has more joy than we can ever use in a lifetime. Our joy cup will never run drive. The more joy we pour out, the more joy we have. This is one of the beautiful mysteries of God. But it works. And it makes us victorious joyful warriors. And for that I am grateful.
 
Dear God, Thank you for the gift of joy
and the gift of joyful warriors in our lives. Today, allow us to be beautiful joyful warriors. Help us to bring hope and joy in the midst of the storms. Let us fight division with the amazing gift of peace, grace and joy. In the craziness of this world, help us to be joyful warriors. ~OC

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Love Our Neighbors…No Exceptions

Today’s a new day! In the age of social media and partisan cable news, one of the most common questions I get as a Christian is how do I stay in relationship with the family member or friend who believes differently than I do? It can be difficult when we are all firing off text and social media post without giving it any thought or even taking a breath. Things can get nasty and personal real quick.

I recommend that each of us get in the habit of never posting a quick reply to another person’s post or text we disagree with. This can be difficult. We so desperately want to share our opinions. If something someone has posted or shared really bothers you, take a day to think about it and then message them. Maybe you need to type something out to get your feelings on screen.  If you’re like me, once you get your feelings out, you realize there is no real need to push send.

Sometimes you may need to adjust the settings on your email or social media to “mute” a certain person’s messages. They don’t have to know you aren’t reading the stuff they are sharing and forwarding to you.  You can spare yourself and them the awkward discussion of why you “unfriended” them.

Other times you may have to take the hard step of “un-friending” someone or maybe just letting that person know you need to communicate with them in other ways besides social media, text or email, because you can’t keep your emotions in check. I’ve had to make this move with some close friends, because what they share or post provokes a reaction in me I don’t like.  I’m pretty sure the stuff I share and post has caused that same kind of reaction in them. I’m definitely sure that what either of has posted has never changed their mind or mine.

Finally, there are those people who share such negative and personal things that it may amount to emotional abuse. In such cases, setting firm boundaries is necessary for your own well-being and health. Loving your neighbor can only happen from a safe distance with some people.

Remember the biggest companies with the smartest minds are working non-stop to keep us glued to our phone, tablet and computer. They make money and lots of it, the longer we keep using their app or watching their channel. The easiest way to keep us making money for them is to keep us outraged. There are genuine things to be outraged about in the world, but few of them are ever changed by a shared social media post, a forwarded email or text.

Sadly, our culture does not reward maintaining relationships with people different from ourselves. It rewards outrage and remaining in your own bubble. Yet, if we are really going to “Love our neighbor. No exceptions.” it has to cut both ways.

Nobody ever said this Christian life would be easy. ~OC

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Trials and Testimonies

Today’s a new day!

I look back and marvel how far I have come . . .

I don’t wonder how I’ve made it . . .

I already know the answer. . .

Only with God’s help have I powered through. . .

For without His strength I am not sure where I would be.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

How comforting to know that God knows the plans He has for us, He knows what challenges we will face in life, what changes we will face, and because He knows He gives us the strength and the wisdom to face each one and to overcome. With God I can face all things.

In 2002, I started on a crazy beautiful health journey. As I sit here today, twenty-two years later I have been quietly reflecting on all of life’s journeys that God has placed before me. Like everyone else, my journey has been filled with adventures, challenges, losses and obstacles. It has also been filled with a lot of faith.

Our faith will be tested throughout life, but there is a reason for those tests. For me personally, my faith has grown through my trials, my faith has persevered through these trials and my faith has grown stronger through
my trials. Without the trials of life, our faith at best would be minimal, yet through the trials our faith grows endlessly.

Over the past twenty-two years, I have had many discussion about the life changing moments we face in life, and how the way we react to them is a testament, a witness for those around us, for those observing. I believe our testimonies have more of an impact in those moments in life, than all the words we say. Our trials produce our testimonies.

As I continue running this crazy beautiful health journey, I have countless stories how God has worked in my life, how He gave me strength beyond measure when I needed it most, and how He continues to guide
me and give me strength, peace and wisdom. For that I am thankful. ~OC

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