Tag: Friendship

Beyond the Chaos

Today’s a new day! My heart breaks for America,

Turn on the news and all I see is chaos,

A country divided, fractured and torn.

I don’t care if you voted left, right, or somewhere in between,

If your heart’s not breaking for the hurt and pain we see,

You might need to check your pulse and see if you’re still alive.

We scream and we shout, we dig in our heels,

But the truth is, we’re dying, we’re losing our way.

We’re so busy building walls, we’re forgetting to build bridges,

We’re so busy pointing fingers, we’re forgetting to hold hands.

Dear God, please help America come together,

Put away our differences, and actually live

Like the United States of America.

Help us see the humanity in each other,

Help us hear the cries of the broken and the pain.

Help us love like You loved, with a love that’s radical and true,

A love that unites, a love that heals, a love that’s new.

We need a revival, a awakening,

A return to compassion, to empathy, to love.

We need to see each other, not as enemies, but as brothers and sisters,

United in our struggles, in our hopes, in our dreams.

Let’s rise up, let’s rise above,

The noise, the hate, the fear, the pride.

Let’s be the change, let’s be the love,

That America needs, that the world needs, that we all need today. ~OC

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Finding Purpose In The Pause

Lately, I’ve been getting a few messages asking how I’m doing, and how I spend my days. Honestly, it’s a bit of a challenge, but I continue to find beauty in the struggle. As I navigate this crazy beautiful journey with multiple health issues, I am reminded that life is not easy. It’s a little harder getting around these days, so I spend most of my days at home. 

My health journey is a rollercoaster, and it’s okay to admit that it’s tough. Some days are better than others. But my constant desire is to walk closer with God every day and to connect with other people. Trying to put my thoughts together to write these days is much harder, but God helps me through,  because it’s my way of connecting with people and letting those who are struggling know they’re not alone. If I didn’t share, I’d be stuck in silence, alone and that’s a lonely place to be.

My days are pretty simple. I spend most of my time in prayer, trying to write and read when my body allows. It’s not glamorous, but it’s my reality. And you know what?  I am learning to find purpose in the pause, to cherish the quiet moments, and to share my story with others who might be walking a similar path.

I am not writing this for sympathy or to complain. I’m writing this to remind society, that people walking through health battles still need and want to connect with others. I am the same person I have always been, just a little slower. But my story isn’t over yet. And I want people walking through their own storms, to know that you’re seen, you’re heard, you’re loved and you’re not alone. 

As I continue on this journey, I’m grateful for the few friends who have decided to stick around, even when life gets hard.  And to those who’ve disappeared, I am doing my best to understand why. But I am learning to cherish the ones who stay and to find joy in the connections we have made along the way.

If you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone. Keep writing, keep praying, and keep pushing forward. And if you need someone to talk to, I am a phone call away. Let’s connect and walk this journey together. ~OC

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Lessons Being Learned

Today’s a new day! Here are four things that God has been showing me over the past few months. I guess God wanted to remind me of His love, care and purpose for me, even in the midst of this health journey. I pray they encourage you. 

I Am Precious In God’s Eyes:

Isaiah 43: 4 says, ‘You are precious and honoured in my sight, and … I love you.’

As my body and mind continues to be an issue, I need to remind myself continually that God loves me for who I am not what I can do. The Lord has chosen me to be his treasured possession (Deuteronomy 14:2) and I am still precious to him despite my illness. He knows what he is doing and he is good.

If you are feeling that you have no purpose, the Lord wants to tell you differently. He wants you to know that your purpose is being his child, not what you are able to do.

I Am Blessed:

As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have periods of sadness,  as I mourn the things I am no longer capable of doing. Some days are harder than others and I feel helpless and upset that I am a burden on Laura and others. Yet, God promises that if I lean on him and trust him, he will give me the strength that I need.

I need to ask God daily to help me remember my blessings. I have so much to be thankful for. Each day is a gift to enjoy being with Laura and friends making memories. I cannot allow myself to constantly be distracted by those friends who have decided to walk away, for whatever reason. 

I am reminded that God’s word says that every good and perfect gift comes from God (James 1:17) and I have been able to find much pleasure in the everyday things around me that I had not noticed before.

When you have a serious illness your world becomes much smaller, but in God’s grace even that can be a blessing. God has opened my eyes to see the little things in life and I can pray about them. I have time to see God answering those prayers and to see how he is interested in the tiny little details of our lives. Sometimes, living in the moment is a real privilege. I don’t need to worry about earning money or running a house because I have to trust that God will give others the strength and wisdom to do that. I know I can trust God in the big things because I can see him working in the little things.

I Am Useful:

It has been very hard not being able to get to church services and have fellowship with people. Zoom, text and phone calls are great but they aren’t the real thing. Often, although I know people pray for me and love me from afar, it can feel very lonely away from the church and everyday life. Yet, wherever I am,  I am still part of God’s family. I am still part of life. I really value people visiting and telling me what God is doing in their lives. It is good to be able to serve the Lord by praying for them and with them.

I can encourage others just by continuing to walk out this health journey, and let people see how He continues to move in the midst of the storm. I continue to learn that you don’t always need to be cheerful and smiling to be an encourager. Just sharing your life and your struggles and letting others see how God sustains you even in the midst of pain and darkness can be an encouragement. God continues to show me that Christian fellowship is about sharing your life with others, the ups, the downs, the differences and the bits in between. True fellowship is precious and points us  to Heaven.

Each day I ask God to help me to be content and to make life as easy as possible for those around me. There are times when I struggle with not being fully involved in daily life, but I know life needs to go on around me. I am still a husband, son, friend and I pray that God will make me the best one I can be.

I Am Being Made New:

I continue to learn that God is bigger than all of my health issues. He is good and his ways are perfect. I sometimes wonder why I am here after all these years, but while He allows me to continue living, I know that he will give me the strength to shine for him. I am reminded almost daily, even a weak and tiny flame can bring much light to a darkened room.

Guess what? God doesn’t see my body as decaying. No, my body is being changed for good and when God sees me as ready, he will take me to be with him, forever. I know that I am more than my illness, I am a child of God and I am loved.

Some days, the enemy tries to put fear in my heart. But on those days, I lean on the words of Psalm 23, which states, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me.” I know that God will give me the strength to keep going until he calls me home. I continue to learn not to worry about tomorrow, but to be thankful and trust him for today. God knows what is coming and he will be with me when it comes.

I want to encourage you, in whatever storm you might find yourself walking through, that you are precious to the Lord and he will never leave you nor forsake you. ~OC

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Not So Different

Today’s a new day, as I continue to walk this crazy beautiful health journey, my body continues to decline and time is limited

but, a beautiful thing as happened along the way, 

These days, I truly see people for who they really are, 

just folks trying to make it in life like me,

Trying to live in peace, with hope and a chance to dream

In hospitals and waiting rooms, I meet strangers not by chance, but I believe by divine appointments, 

And though our stories differ, our hearts beat with the same dance

We’re all searching for hope, for healing and for peace

And in our shared humanity, our differences release

We’re not so different, you and me

We’re both just trying to live a life full of hopes and dreams, 

We’re all just trying to make our way

Through the noise, through the fray

But still we divide, we separate and we fight

Over opinions and beliefs, we draw lines in the sand,

We let our differences define us, we let them tear us apart

And in the process, we lose the beauty of the human heart

We forget that we’re all in this together, we’re all on the same team

We’re all just trying to live, to love, to dream

We’re all just trying to make a way, to find our place in this world

And in our shared struggles, our hearts can expand 

We’re not so different, you and me

We’re both just trying to live a life full of hopes and dreams,

We’re all just trying to make our way

Through the noise, through the fray

So let’s sit down, let’s talk, let’s share our stories and our fears

Let’s find common ground, let’s wipe away our tears

Let’s look beyond our differences, let’s see the humanity in each other’s eyes

And let’s remember that we’re all in this together, we’re all on the same side

We’re not Us versus Them, we’re just Us, trying to make our way

Through the ups and downs, through the darkness and the gray

We’re all just trying to live, to love, to be

And in our shared humanity, we can find unity.

My hope is that we can learn to see

Beyond the surface level, beyond you and me

My hope is that we can find a way

To come together, to seize the day

To put aside our differences, to lay down our pride

To look into each other’s eyes, and see the other side

To find the common ground, to find the love we share

And to live together, with hearts that truly care. ~OC

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True Friendship

Today’s a new day! A true friend is not the one who is there just during the good times, but is the one who decides to stay with you during the darkest storms.

The measure of true friendship isn’t found in shared moments of celebration and easy times, but in unwavering support during life’s toughest storms.

A true friend doesn’t desert you when challenges arise; instead, they stand by your side, offering comfort, strength, and unwavering support. Their presence is a steadfast anchor in turbulent waters, a source of solace and encouragement that helps you navigate life storms and emerge stronger on the other side.

This steadfastness, this unwavering commitment in the face of adversity, is the hallmark of a friendship that truly endures. ~OC

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2AM Thoughts

Today’s a new day! It’s 2am on this Tuesday morning. I have been unable to fall asleep. It’s just one of those crazy nights with Parkinson’s and Dementia. So I have walked around the house more times than I can remember. I have watched several YouTube videos to pass the time. Finally, I have decided to share my experience and thoughts with you. Writing is still something my brain allows me to do on occasion. Lately, God has filled my brain with many thoughts. I feel an urgency to write as much as possible before I can no longer do that. Tonight, my brain is extra active. That’s not always a good thing.

I have good days and bad days as I navigate through the multiple health issues that are slowly robbing me of so much. On a bad day, I cannot do anything at all. My energy levels are low and I feel fatigued. The only way I can describe it is that I feel like I have run a hundred marathons in a very short amount of time. I feel totally drained.

But I have lots of coping strategies. I choose to use those days to pray a lot more. I choose to reach out to friends even though I know, I will not hear back from the majority of them.

I think it’s important to have something that gives you a sense of purpose in life. I try to share my journey to help encourage others walking through their own life struggles. If I can help just one other person, that’s enough for me.

When most people think about neurological issues, especially dementia they think it’s all about memory loss. But I have cognitive issues also- trying to figure things out can be difficult and frustrating. Also too many voices at one time can be overwhelming. I get frustrated and anxious if I am struggling to follow the conversation. I also deal with a lot of rigidity and pain, which creates so many issues.

Over the years I have lost many friends as I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey. I believe a lot of people have a difficult time talking to and relating to me. But I am still me. My story has just changed a little. A lot of times when Laura and I are around other people, they will address questions to her, not me. My prayer is that people would see the person, not the disease.

But I am blessed that a few friends have decided to stick around and not jump ship. I hold those friendships very close to my heart.

I choose to embrace each moment of life. I try to share my love and thoughts now. Not waiting for the perfect moment. Because the perfect moment is today. Laura and I do not wait for the perfect moment to buy that gift or take that trip. Now is the perfect time. Now is the perfect time to take care of future arrangements. Which we have done. I did not want Laura dealing with all of that on her own.

It also means we’ve had really indepth chats about what quality of life really looks like. Everyone has to figure that out for themselves and their loved ones.

Life looks different every day. What I could do yesterday, might be more difficult to accomplish today. I continue to live my life with my cup overflowing. I try not to beat myself up too much when I cannot do something anymore. Because there are still many things I can do. So today, I choose to embrace the now and what I can accomplish today. ~OC

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My Life With Dementia

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have always wanted to be upfront and honest when sharing my journey with you. So this morning, I want to share a post I have been working on for several weeks. It’s my life with dementia. I apologize in advance for the long post.

When I was diagnosed with young onset dementia last year, part of me thought there has to be a mistake, but it was also a relief to have some answers on why my life seemed a little out of focus. But it was still hard to hear “you have dementia.” Like so many people diagnosed with young-onset dementia, I was still planning a future with my bride. How was dementia showing up in my 50’s?

But here I am, almost a year later.

What I have learned is a dementia diagnosis isn’t the end of life. It just means life looks a little different.

Of course my life has looked a little different for the last twenty-three years dealing with multiple health issues. But over the last two decades, my faith and life experiences have taught me it’s possible to live a fulfilling, purposeful, and even joyful life even while dealing with the uncertainty of declining health. A diagnosis of dementia was not going to change that. At least I hope and pray that will be the case.

So as I walk out this journey called dementia, I wanted to share a few things that are working for me. This is not a neat how to live with dementia list, because dementia is not an easy follow these instructions and everything will be okay disease. No, dementia is a unpredictable roller coaster ride. Every day brings new challenges, but also new opportunities.

My hope and prayer is that this blog post will help create conversations. If you’re living with dementia, or supporting someone who is, I hope these tools help you live a full life regardless of the diagnosis.

My Dementia Toolbox:

I choose to live each day with Hope and Purpose.

I choose to live a life full of new adventures. Never stop making memories with family and friends.

I choose to maintain my independence as long as possible.

I choose to continue connecting with family and friends.

I choose to adapt to the changes dementia brings and never give up.

I choose to hold onto my identity and what makes me “me.”

I choose to keep learning new things each day.

I choose to live out my life and faith.

I choose not to avoid the declines that dementia brings, but to make the most out of every day and refuse to let dementia silence me.

Finally, living with dementia is not an easy journey. There are moments of loss and frustration, but there are also unexpected discoveries, laughs, and the good will of family and friends. ~OC

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Potholes in Life

Today’s a new day! Last night after my doctor’s appointment, Laura and I drove around town a bit. There is so much construction going on around us. Also a lot of potholes and roadblocks to navigate around. At times, I felt like I was on some type of ride at the fair.

On our journey through life, we also face many bumps and potholes along the way. There are financial, relational, and medical trials that will come into our lives. What we do when we come to a bump in the road is usually slow down or come to a complete stop in order to better assess the situation before moving forward. We must also keep a certain balance ourselves, so as not to falter or fall down. There are times when Christian friends will come alongside us and help us to navigate these bumps in our lives. At times, if we become stalled for a long time, they might gently urge us and encourage us to move on and continue on the road of life.

“Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status.” ~Romans 15:1

As we were driving around town, it was only Laura and I paying close attention to the road construction around us, that saved us from hitting one pothole after another. It also helped that we knew some of the potholes were coming, so we were able to avoid them. Knowing the road allowed us the grace to prepare ourselves for the bumpy ride.

But what about the times when we don’t know what lies ahead of us on this journey called life or what’s around the next corner? In those times, we need to turn directly to Jesus. He knows the road ahead, and we can always depend on Him to guide us safely through those bumps in the journey.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” ~Deuteronomy 31:8

Prayer for the Day: Dear God, help us to turn to You first when we face the bumps and potholes in our journey. We know that You are more than capable of helping meet our needs. Dear God, help our unbelief in times of trouble. Make us a people able to stand strong as we or a loved one walks through the bumpy moments in life. We pray all of this in your powerful and matchless name dear Jesus. Amen.

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Bearers of the Mat

Today’s a new day!

“And when he returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at a home. And many were gathered together, so that there was no more room, not even at the door. And he was preaching the word to them. And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay.” ~Mark 2:1-4

I have always loved this story. It truly demonstrates the love of friends and our need for solid friendships. The four men in Mark 2, went beyond normal friendship and became “Bearers of the Mat.”

These four friends saw their friend needed a miracle in his life. They heard Jesus was in the area, so they decided to pick up their friend’s mat and get him to the Great Physician. We have no idea how far these four men had to walk carrying their friend, just to get to Jesus. No doubt they were exhausted by the time they reached the door of the house where Jesus was. There they found a new obstacle. The house where Jesus was speaking was beyond packed. But these four men persevered. Their friend needed a miracle and they were determined to get him to Jesus. Even if it meant carrying their friend to the roof and cutting a hole into the roof, so they could lower their friend into the room where Jesus was speaking. Can you imagine what a sight that must have been? What an amazing moment it must have been when after all that hard work, these four friends watched in awe as their friend was completely healed by Jesus. What a day of celebration that must have been.

Every time I read the story in Mark 2, two questions come to mind:

1). Do I have friends like these four men?

2). Am I a friend like these four men?

I pray we will all take the time to check our hearts as we reflect on these two questions. I truly believe Jesus wants each of us to serve one another willingly and wholeheartedly. Let’s become “Bearers of the Mat” ~OC

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Prayers For A New School Year

Today’s a new day! A new school year starts for many today. I want to pray for this new school year. ~OC

Dear God, as a new school year starts, I want to pray for each of the students, teachers, administrators and school staff. May they each experience patience, wisdom, and a school year filled with hope. God, I pray this school year is filled with amazing opportunities and blessings. I also pray this school year is filled with Your peace and safety. May this school year be filled with amazing success and memories. I pray all of this in Your powerful and matchless name. Amen.

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