Tag: Grace

Standing Beside You

Today’s a new day! True friendship and good character is all about how a person nurtures another person when they are vulnerable and can give very little in return.  Thus, it’s not who’s standing beside you during good times, but the ones who stick by you through tough times that are your true friends.

So take note of who remains in your life when times get tough, especially the people who sacrifice the resources they have in their life to help you improve yours when you need it most.  Seriously, when you come out the other side of a difficult period in your life, look around you. The people still standing beside you are your true friends. ~OC

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Warning!

Today’s a new day! Be careful of people who claim to be your friend, feel the freedom to share your story, but you haven’t seen or heard from them in months or even years. Do not allow them to be part of your boat. They add nothing to your story. ~OC

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Sportsmanship

Today’s a new day! The last few days we celebrated Rivalry Week in College Football. The games did not disappoint. There were some amazing moments, finishes and upsets. But most people will not be talking about that today. No, sadly most people will be discussing incidents of winning teams trying to place their team flags on the logos of the losing teams and the brawls that ensued. At Ohio State, police used pepper spray on players. How crazy is that. Which brings me to the question about sportsmanship.

Although it comes in many forms, everyone can give a few examples of what sportsmanship looks like and what it takes to be viewed as a “good sport”: We shake hands before and after games, we clap for injured players once they show they are okay, and we extend a hand to help an opponent get up off of the ground. These examples are just scratching the surface of displaying good sportsmanship.

Sportsmanship is an understanding of and commitment to fair play, ethical behavior and integrity, and general goodwill toward an opponent. It is an affirmation that an athlete is disciplined enough to have perspective, maintain poise and do what is best for his or her teammates.

Being able to make appropriate behavioral choices at the “moment of truth” and in a pressure situation will often reveal a player’s character and his or her ability to be a good sport. Simply put, sportsmanship is a choice.

It is easy for the athletes, coaches and fans to get caught up in a game and become too focused on winning. Although winning is important, it is not always the most important aspect of the game. There is so much to be gained and learned from an athletic experience that will stay with us for the rest of our lives. Good sportsmanship is one of those life lessons that should be intentionally learned, taught, practiced and reinforced.

No matter how much we would like to, we cannot win at everything every time. So we need to learn to deal with defeat. After a hard fought game in which everything was left on the playing field in a losing effort, it can be very difficult to look your opponents in the eye and tell them “good game” or “good job.” But this is what is asked of athletes. The key question is: How do we handle losing with class?

Keep losing in perspective. Just as in life, sports are a learning experience. Very few wins and losses are remembered, even a short time later. 

Always accept responsibility for the loss. Acknowledge the winners and congratulate them. Sometimes your opponent was just better. Even if they are not better, they were better on that particular day. The effort should be acknowledged. Sulking shows a lack of discipline and respect.

Winning is fun! It is the reward for your hard work. But excessive gloating and flaunting your win in front of the losing team does not promote or show good sportsmanship. Remember how you feel when you’re on the losing side of a sporting or life event.

Keep winning in perspective. Winning doesn’t mean you were perfect or that you will win again. Celebrate your win, but celebrate your win with class, respect and grace.

Have empathy for the team you defeated; win with humility and class. Acknowledge your opponents’ effort and that they were worthy competitors. The late , great North Carolina basketball Coach Dean Smith once said, “A lion never roars after a kill.” I love that quote and the parallel to what “good winning” should look like.

Life is tough, and life is not fair. Like life, sports are tough and not always fair. Yet sports can be a wonderful training ground for life’s challenges. Just like we win some and lose some in sports, we also deal with plenty of successes, challenges and failures in our own lives. Let’s try to be good sports in both the winning and losing situations and during our successes, challenges and failures.

Let me leave you with a few more quote about sportsmanship:

“One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than a hundred teaching it.” ~ Former University of Notre Dame Head Football Coach Knute Rockne

“Sometimes I think sportsmanship is a little bit forgotten in place of the individual attention.” ~ MLB Hall of Famer Cal Ripken, Jr.

“If character is what you do when no one is watching, then sportsmanship is that conduct with everybody watching.” ~ ESPN Sportscaster Bob Ley

“Sportsmanship is that quality of honor that desires always to be courteous, fair, and respectful, and it is interpreted in the conduct of players, spectators, coaches, and school authorities.” ~ Former University of Michigan Head Football Coach and Athletic Director Fielding H. Yost

I truly hope we will spend some time reflecting on the importance of sportsmanship in all areas of sports and life. ~OC

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Grateful

Today’s a new day! I’m grateful this morning for another day to breathe, to think and make more memories with my bride, friends and family.

I’m grateful for my cup of ice tea and a cool breeze on our balcony.

I am grateful for the anticipation of this new day.

I am grateful to be living in peace.

I’m grateful to still be alive, now, in this place and at this time.  I’m ever-thankful for the extra time God has given me.

I am grateful for the freedom to write in my hometown and to write whatever, however, whenever I please.

I am grateful for the amazing people God has brought my way on this crazy beautiful health journey. Thankful to have met so many creative and loving people over the past twenty-two years.

I am grateful for the friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin.

I am thankful that my gratitude stretches around the world with all the people who have walked this journey with me through this blog and my other social media pages.

I am grateful to live in love, hope and peace and cherish this day that the Lord has given me. ~OC

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Thankfulness While Grieving

Today’s a new day! Today is also Thanksgiving Day. I have many things to be thankful for, but I am also grieving the death of a loved one. This has been a hard week.

It can be difficult to be thankful when you’re in a season of grieving. When you experience the loss of a loved one you begin to wonder if you will ever feel happy again. It is hard to be thankful when you are hurting. The Bible is not silent on the issue of suffering. The Bible is full of scriptures and stories about suffering.

Giving thanks to God during times of grief is difficult, but not impossible. In fact, it is one of the best ways of progressing towards hope while you are grieving. How can you be thankful during times of grief? I believe Remembering , Reflecting , and Rejoicing can guide us through a season of loss and grief.

First, take time to remember. Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. Do not doubt in the darkness what you have clearly seen in the light. One of the results of the grieving process is that our minds become absorbed with that one thing. It is so important that you force yourself to remember key foundational truths about God. Remember that He loves you. Remember that He is in control. Remember that He is always working good; even in the bad circumstances. While grieving, you may not want to hear someone quote Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” But, remember that it is true. 

Second, take time to reflect. Reflect on your current situation, but do not dwell on it. What’s the difference between reflecting and dwelling? Think of it like a house. When you dwell in a house you live in it. Dwelling on the cause of your grief is like going back to the situation and living there as you relive it over and over. When you reflect, you think deeply and carefully about something. Going back to the house illustration, rather than dwelling in the house, you sit outside the house and look in. Reflecting is different because it gives you time to grieve and realize that your life has changed and there will be a new reality moving forward.

Remember, there is no set timeframe for you to stop grieving. Please hear that. Grief has no timeline. In one sense, you will never stop grieving until you are given your new body and dwelling with God in Heaven. The purpose in grieving well is not to stop grieving, but to begin grieving with hope.

When we are grieving we are overwhelmed by our emotions. Our emotions are powerful and have great control over us, so we are told in the Bible to take control of them. We do this by guarding our heart. Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” The heart is the essence of who we are. It is more than just emotions. It is the command center of your life. It directs our emotions.

Through grief and mourning we must remember to guard our hearts.

Third, take time to rejoice. In the middle of your mourning, allow your heart and mind to remember some of the beautiful moments and memories. That can be difficult in the midst of a loss or a difficult season in life. But the fact that God has brought us this new day means that we can rejoice and be glad in it. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. This verse does not teach us that every circumstance is good, but that God is good. This is not always easy, but we must continue to lean into this truth.

So today take some time to Remember, Reflect, Rejoice

*Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. 

*Reflect and give yourself time to grieve. Guard your heart so that you do not believe lies but trust God.

*Rejoice in the Lord who is powerfully and purposefully at work.

If you are grieving, trust God. Consider the story of Martha from John 11. Martha had just lost her brother and was grieving. When she saw Jesus she said to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21). Martha then said something very profound. Martha said, “But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You” (John 11:22). Martha serves as an example of a godly person hurting yet trusting. So today, allow God to help you give thanks in all circumstances on this Thanksgiving Day. ~OC

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Choose Joy

Today’s a new day! I have learned through the storms of life that joy and happiness are things we have to become intentional about. It’s about the decisions we make moment by moment.

So many people allow everyday joy to escape them because they are focused on what they don’t like, what their lacking, and what is broken. Easy to do. We can allow our circumstances and comparing ourselves to others to rob of us of happiness and joy. What I have learned through my own life storms is when I want to have a pity party, is that the best use of my time. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I have chosen to find the things that I am grateful for as I navigate through the crashing waves.

One of the most positive things I have ever done in my life is to journal and share my story. What has been so interesting and encouraging is hearing the feedback back from those walking through their own battles. As I have heard the inspiring stories of others, I have been filled with gratitude. My circumstances may have not changed, but I did. I chose a new way of looking at life.

I have had the privilege of praying with people during the worst moments of their lives. But instead of being caught up in the negativity of the moment, they were filled with joy. How can that be? I honestly believe that joy is less circumstantial and more an inward reality that is fueled from a heart of faith and gratitude. People that choose to live with more hope and joy view life differently. Peace, Hope and Joy become a lifestyle. They embrace and savor every moment of life.

In these challenging times when there is so much negative news swirling around us, it’s so important for us to take care of ourselves and those around us. We need to laugh, have fun, take a trip and embrace some joy breaks along this journey called life. I encourage everyone to find joy by making time for it and becoming intentional about it. Choose joy and choose it every day. ~OC

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Forgiveness

In Matthew 6:9-15 we read the following words:

Pray then like this:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

This is just one of many lessons Jesus taught us about unforgiveness. He shared on numerous occasions about not allowing unforgiveness to reside in our hearts. God shared those who refuse to forgive others will not be forgiven by the Father. Be careful not to misunderstand Jesus’ meaning here. We do not lose our salvation when we refuse to forgive others. Rather, we break fellowship with God because an unrepentant attitude interferes with regular confession and turning away from sin.

Forgiveness is an act of the will more than an act of the heart. We do not often feel like showing mercy or forgiveness to someone who’s wronged us, but but that’s exactly what we’re called to do (Matthew 5:38-40). A resentful spirit grows into a terrible burden. God knows that forgiveness is best, even when it is difficult. Claim the divine mercy He offers, and ask Him to enable you to lay aside your frustrations, anger and resentment. As part of the decision to move forward in grace, make a habit of praying for those who hurt you. And if God so leads, seek their forgiveness for your wrong attitude or actions.

A bitter spirit doesn’t fit who we are in our relationship with God. That’s why there are so many scriptures about forgiveness. We have to choose to be liberated from our burdens and unforgiveness. Did you catch that? We have to make the choice. God promised to make us free when we choose to believe and obey Him (John 8:31-32). Freedom from our burdens sounds pretty good to me. ~OC

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True Friendships

Today’s a new day! True friends never make you feel like a burden. A true friend is never burdened with stressful promises and obligations.  When true friends step up, it’s because they care and because they want to.

Don’t chase after friendships. True friendships don’t need to be chased.  If someone is a true friend and wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You should never have to fight for a spot in their life. Never, ever force yourself on someone who continuously overlooks your worth. ~OC

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