Today’s a new day!
Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I come to realize more and more every day my only hope is in the beautiful free grace and forgiveness of God. So as I continue to run this race, I will do my best to live a life full of grace and forgiveness.
I pray your day is filled with amazing moments and God’s blessings. ~OC
Today’s a new day! At one point during my beautiful life, my friendship list looked like a big cruise ship. Many people laughing and having fun. Life was great. Then I got sick and the boat began to get smaller. Of course that was tough to endure, but God gave me peace.
Then I experienced a beautiful miracle and all of the sudden the boat started getting bigger, but most of the relationships were not real. They were based on what God had done in my life. People cared more about the miracle than they did about me. Once again tough to endure, but God guided me through this trial. He even told me on a walk one early morning, that my inner circle would get even smaller. There would be fewer people sitting in my boat. This did not scare me. It actually gave me great peace.
Then a few months ago, I was diagnosed with dementia and more friends jumped off the boat. This time I was prepared for it. Less phone calls checking in or returning my calls or text. God had clearly prepared me for this time. That does not mean there was not some pain and disappointment. It hurt. Thankfully God continues to carry me through this season.
As I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful journey called life, I cling to the friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. The ones who actually reach out to me without any prompting and reassure me they are never leaving the boat regardless of how big the waves get. We will endure together. How blessed I am to have these people in the boat with me. Beautiful bright lights to travel with on this beautiful symphony called life. It brings me great encouragement as I move through the different seasons of life.
As I wrote the words above, I realized I have never needed rescuing from the boat. God has always been in the boat with me. He has never thought about abandoning me. Once again, I am thankful for those God has chosen to ride the waves with me in the boat. But more importantly, my hope and peace comes from God who created the boat and me. The One who can calm the raging seas with just a whisper.
As you walk through the storms of life, look around and see who’s still in the boat with you. When you find them cherish them. Never take your tribe for granted. During the storms of life, learn to sit in the boat with others. Embrace those in the boat. Encourage those in the boat. Empower those in the boat. Live life together in the boat. ~OC
Today’s a new day! Woven into the fabric of my life is an understanding of what it is to suffer, and from that understanding flows compassion, love, mercy and grace. ~OC
Today’s a new day!
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.. ~Romans 8:38-39
A lot of things can try and separate us from God. Not feeling good enough, the business of life, the upcoming election and a host of other distractions. But we have to remember that these thoughts and distractions are only temporary and we do not have to give into them. If we let them consume us, we will easily become overwhelmed. But we can choose to open our heart’s to God’s truth. That is, we are enough, just by being us. We are not our past, nor do we have to return to our past in order to be loved, accepted, etc. we are enough – right here, right now – because our identity is in God, not in our weaknesses, and certainly not in the things of this world.
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. ~John 8:32
I read a story where a group of students were asked how much they thought they were worth. “A million dollars,” some of them said. “Infinity plus infinity,” called out another. But the truth is, we are worth more than we can possibly comprehend. We are way more than a number. God loves us so much that He sent His only son to die for us so that we will not die but have everlasting life with Him in Heaven.
So, I am going to pose a challenge for everyone – myself included: When those thoughts of not being good enough rise within you and you feel like you’re drowning in their lies, seek God. Remember His truth – YOU ARE ENOUGH. You were created in His image (Genesis 1:27), and He loves you. You do not have to change what you look like to be loved, and you may as well stop trying to earn grace because it has already been given to you. Find strength in God, and know He is with you wherever you go.
Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident. ~Psalm 27:3
We can find confidence in God today. We can treat ourselves with love and self respect because we’re God’s beautiful masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). We can trust that we are enough. We can find peace, hope, love and confidence in God. I pray we will all lean into that truth today. ~OC
Today’s a new day! I used to tell people that the word “Can’t” should never be uttered from their mouth. I used to use the popular phrases “Just Do It,” and “Sleep when you’re dead.” Yes, I was that guy.
In today’s world, we are pushed and even encouraged to take on more and more, and we are seen as weak or strange when we are unable, or do not want to do so.
For me, this mindset came from my passion for life. It was fueled by a deep craving to achieve everything in life. It’s what made me intense, driven, competitive, and hardworking. It was who I was. Until I wasn’t.
As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for 22 years, it took me some time to come to terms with my “can’t.” Early on in my health journey, I constantly pushed through truly excruciating symptoms, like level 10 pain, exhaustion from weeks of no sleep, and unrelenting crushing fatigue even when I did sleep. I pulled myself together through constant life-threatening health issues, and participated in physical activities that I had no business attempting with a smile on my face (like running multiple marathons with no training) – while inside my body, my mind, and my spirit were dying a slow and agonizing death. Yet I still didn’t listen.
Why am I sharing all of this with you? Because I believe I could have spared my body a lot of pain and damage, my mind a lot of anxiety, if I had just learned to accept, or even embraced my “can’t” earlier in my health journey. I would have also spared my bride from a lot of worrying.
I want to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. I hope you take the time to read and reflect on them.
1). “Can’t” Is Not Weakness:
The biggest hurdle when it comes to dealing with “can’t” is intimately understanding on a heart-knowledge level that being unable to do certain things because of your illness does not mean you are weak, lazy, unintelligent, or unmotivated. This is where I was stuck for a long time. I had believed my whole life that if I couldn’t perform at peak levels, it must be my fault and that I just wasn’t trying hard enough. So, when my illness started to seriously affect my work quality in the career I had worked so hard to achieve, I compared myself to those around me, and told myself that I was just “too stupid” or “lazy” to do the job. At times I listened to the lies that I was worthless.
Hello Over-Achiever. I want to talk to you directly now. You burn-the-candle-at-both-ends doers. You know-you-can-conquer-the-world types. You did not choose your health issues. You didn’t work hard your whole life just to become a “lazy” and “unmotivated” on a whim. That’s not you and that’s not what is happening in your life. It’s not a matter of motivation, drive, desire, or ambition. It’s not a matter of not trying hard enough. It’s a matter of your body revolting against the true self of your mind and spirit. It’s a matter of your earthly vessel failing the real and eternal you that lives inside. The true and eternal you is still the same as it has always been: driven, motivated, intelligent, and strong. Once you accept this and understand the gulf between the two “yous,” you can take strides to get your body back on board so that a more collected, collective you can get back to truly living.
Accepting your “can’t” isn’t weakness; it’s actually strength. It means that you are strong enough to look your health challenge squarely in the face and get after the business of Overcoming. It means that you are brave enough to accept that your life right now must take an unexpected detour. It means that you are willing to admit your physical “can’t” so that you can open your mind and spirit to what you can and must do to regain your health. And the only way you can allow your focus to properly shift to healing is to first completely embrace your illness and your “can’t.”
2. “Can’t” Allows Healing:
Sadly, it took me several years to embrace this truth. I am encouraging you not to wait. Because if you don’t fully believe and fully accept that you are sick, you will keep running the rat race. But if you look deep in your heart, listen to your body, and know in truth that you are sick, then you can accept it. Embrace it.
I cannot stress this enough. Because until you wholly feel the weight of it, until you embrace it and believe it, you can’t get truly angry about what your illness is stealing from you. And until you get angry you cannot mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare for the battle ahead of obtaining a full and accurate diagnosis, proper treatment, and hopefully better health. This is how coming to terms with your “can’t” sets you on the path to healing.
If you are in the early stages of your health journey, this next part may shock you. The medical system (at least in the United States) will not completely facilitate you regaining your health. Not at all. Unless you are exceptionally fortunate, your journey is not going to look like: get sick, see a doctor, get better. No, if you have a chronic or complex illness, generally speaking you need to prepare for battle. You need to arm yourself with knowledge and with the mental fortitude to be your own advocate. You need to prepare to fight for your life. You need to push for answers and drive the process. No one else will or can do it for you.
This is why embracing your “can’t” is so important. Because when you truly realize what you “can’t,” you get really, really angry at this invisible thief of life that is your illness. I don’t mean “bitter” angry, I mean “motivated and determined” angry. And you’re going to need that determination to drive the (sometimes grueling) battle that lies before you. And that drive to press forward in the battle is the only thing that will lead you to wellness.
It’s all you, Warrior! So get really angry at your “can’t” and resolve in your mind to do everything you humanly can to regain your health.
3. “Can’t” might be forever (But it’s not your identity): One of the more valuable pieces of advice I can share with you is that your “can’t” might be forever. That can be a difficult pill to swallow. But your “can’t “ does not need to become your identity. My life is much more than all the “limitations” I face on a daily basis. My life is full of hope, adventures and overcoming all the bumps in the road.
4. “Can’t” Makes Room for “Can”
Another critically important thing that coming to terms with your “can’t” does is that it makes room in your life for your “can.” Some of your “cans” may look something like:
1). I can make healthy, life-giving meals for myself to help my body heal.
2). I can research my illness for myself so that I have the knowledge to ask good questions at my appointments and to make educated treatment decisions.
3). I can maintain a positive attitude, despite how I feel.
4). I can make time for self-care activities that will help my body.
5). I can surround myself with people who encourage me in my health journey.
6). I can purposefully structure my life so that it supports wellness and healing.
7). Even though I couldn’t yesterday, today I can go for a short walk or bike ride.
8). This morning, I can rise early and sit peacefully to watch the sun rise
9). Right now, I can make positive choices to help with the symptoms I’m experiencing.
10). Don’t get hung up on committing to daily schedules of “cans” or expecting some type of minimum performance of “cans.” While it’s absolutely important to have bigger, more overarching “can” goals, embrace what you can do today and accept that tomorrow’s “cans” may look very different based on your health. Every day is a new opportunity to discover and put into practice the things you can do.
Here are some practical steps that can be used to work towards peace with your current “can’t:”
1. Pray
2. Journal
3. Reach out to family/friends
4. Reach out for professional help if needed
Coming to terms with your “can’t” may be difficult, but it’s so important and it opens the way for healing and wellness to come in time. You are unbelievably strong to live with your symptoms day in and day out and even stronger to accept and face such a challenge head on. Be encouraged that your “can’t” is just for right now and that nothing we face on this side of Heaven is forever. ~OC
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Today’s a new day! As I continue to deal with the effects of Lewy Body Dementia, sometimes my thoughts take me to a place that doesn’t always make sense. But sometimes, I am blessed with a word, thought or phrase that might not make sense to me at the time, but as I unpack it and begin to pray about it, all the sudden things become a bit more clear to me. Let me give you an example.
A few weeks ago, I saw a butterfly fly by me as I was sitting on my balcony. Like most of you, I have seen hundreds of butterflies in my lifetime. But that day, God impressed upon me to type the word butterfly down in my notes. So I did and did not think anymore about it until a few days ago. The following is what God showed me and I thought I would share it with you.
I often wonder if a butterfly ever goes back to thinking like a caterpillar once it has undergone chrysalis. Does the butterfly ever think, “Man, I had it so good when I had to crawl everywhere and ate leaves?” Or does the butterfly look to its new life where it can fly, go places faster and eat the sweet pollen from flowers and think I will never go back to crawling? I’m guessing the latter because I have never seen a butterfly eat leaves or crawl around.
I wonder then why we often go back to our old ways of stinky thinking and our old ways of life once we have asked God into our lives. We have been set free from a life shackled and earth bound to a life of a high calling in Jesus. Scripture says that all things have become new and we are a new creation. We have to put away our old way of thinking.
In Ephesians 4:23, we read that we should let the spirit renew our thoughts and attitudes and to put on our new nature. That can be easier said than done when our old life keeps wanting to creep back in and disrupt our new life. Our old life wants to come back out and do things that it used to do before we accepted a new life in God
The following are a few things I believe we can do to help us live the life God has chosen just for us.
1). Change Our Environment:
We cannot change our thinking and our life until we change our environment. The butterfly has to flap its wings and leave the leaf so it can find new life. You and I are called to come out from among them and to be separate. If we never leave our old life, we will never be all that God intended us to be.
We have to find new places to hang out and feed ourselves good things. It can be hard to leave the old things behind, but if those things are holding us down, we have no choice. That could mean distancing ourselves from old friends who might want to pull us back into our old habits. We were meant to fly. So we need to spread our wings and trust God to help us navigate this new life.
2. Change What You Put in Your Mind:
The butterfly no longer eats what it used to. Its appetite changed and so did its taste. As a Christian, our spiritual appetite and tastes must change. We cannot walk through this new life eating, drinking and talking like our old selves. It is unhealthy for our new selves to continue consuming our old diet. Plus, I find as we start consuming new healthy things our bodies will not want the junk our bodies used to crave as much.
3. Embrace Your New Life:
Our new life should not only bring glory to God, but also light to others. When we see a caterpillar and a butterfly, we think two different things. The caterpillar is destructive to plants and is not very attractive. But the butterfly brings life to other plants and is beautiful. Our lives should have that kind of change.
We are called to live and walk in the light. We are to bring life to those around us and not destruction. People should be able to see a difference in our new lives. We should embrace who God has created us to be and strive to live the life we were meant to live. If we do that, we cannot help but to soar. So, go fly! ~OC
Today’s a new day! Did you know there are 1,430 hate groups in the United States alone. Sadly, those numbers are growing. While many tend to be small, they have political power and want to see unrest across America.
Hate groups will continue to poison hearts, stir up violence, and polarize people in 2024 and beyond. So to gear up for these challenges, I reflected back on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s book Strength to Love. I encourage you to check it out.
The book is a fascinating read, but one of the phrases Dr. King used truly grabbed my attention. Dr. King calls us to be “Transformed Nonconformist” Here is the scripture that Dr. King used to come up with this beautiful term.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2).
Transformed nonconformists reject racism, discrimination, hatred and anything that tears our society apart and tries to divide us.
Transformed nonconformists break the chain reaction of evil by refusing to “fight fire with fire.”
Why? Because as Dr. King explains, “Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence… in a descending spiral of destruction” This is one of the main reasons for not responding in kind to evil. In the powerful words of Mahatma Ghandi, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”
The second part of Romans 12 describes the divine reason we break the chain reaction of evil. The Scriptures command us to conquer hate through the power of love:
*Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (v. 14).
*Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone (v. 17).
*If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (v. 18).
*Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath (v. 19).
*If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink… (v. 20).
*Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (v. 21).
These commands indicate that a transformed nonconformist is in fact a peacemaker. And these peacemakers break the chain reaction of evil – through suffering, absorbing pain and responding in love.
Peacemaking is not for the faint of heart. Peacemaking demands an uncompromising rejection of the unloving ways of the world and a radical embrace of the enemy-loving way of Jesus.
I read an article once where a civil rights worker was asked how he was able to endure racial hatred and violence while working for justice. “The hatred coming at me in those fists and clubs was bouncing right off me back into the air, and it could just continue to spread like electricity. I decided not to fight back. I would let my body absorb that hatred, so that some of it would die in my body and not bounce back into the world. I now see that my job in the midst of evil is to make my body a grave for hate.”
Did you catch that last sentence? “Making my body a grave for hate.” That sounds scary. It is! That is why I chose to follow Jesus – the one who made his body a grave for hate, the one who rose from the grave, and the one who said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you” (John 20:21).
I pray you will join me on this journey of Love over hate. ~OC
Today’s a new day! Along this journey called life, we all deal with fear. Fear can hit us during what we thought would be a routine doctors appointment. Fear can hit us when test result comes back with more questions than answers. Fear can hit us when we watch the news or scroll through social media. We have all experienced fear in our lives.
Back in 2003, one of my doctors called me early one morning and shared he needed to see me right away. Then he made the comment “Oh and make sure you bring your wife.” A little fear hit me at that moment. Later when the doctor shared I had a tumor, the fear grew a little deeper. Fear, worry and anxiety. My wife and I experienced all those feelings sitting in that doctor’s office.
A few weeks later a biopsy revealed the tumor was the size of golfball and was cancerous. Once again, fear, worry and anxiety smacked me in the face. Things seemed overwhelming at that point.
Then something amazing happened. As I laid in ICU hooked up to several machines, God took away the fear, worry and anxiety. Those feelings were replaced by peace, calmness and even joy. Yes, joy. What changed?
God reminded me of the week long fast I had done a year earlier during a missions trip. He revealed the reason I had fasted was to prepare me for this very moment. Peace flooded my room and heart at that moment. In that moment, I completely turned my health situation over to Jesus and trusted Him to walk me through my unknown future.
Even though I had been filled with fear, anxiety and worry, Jesus was right there with me. He shared hope, love and peace even as I was overwhelmed with so many different emotions. God never abandoned me in my time of need.
During that moment, I still had to deal with life as a cancer patient. But that unknown did not overwhelm me anymore. Jesus reminded me that He was bigger than any health issue I would ever face. I am thankful, I did not know my future would be full of more health issues, test, multiple doctors appointments and hospital stays. No, at that moment I was just filled with peace. A peace that has never left me.
Here I am in 2024, after overcoming so much, but still dealing with so many health issues. Fear and worry try to overwhelm me at times, but I am still experiencing that same peace and joy I experienced in that ICU room so many years ago. Knowing that Jesus is still bigger than anything life throws at me. Still living life with a thankful heart. ~OC
Today’s a new day! Being chronically ill comes with a lot of ups and downs and a wide range of emotions. These emotions can be so strong and overwhelming at times. As you walk through the different stages of being chronically ill, you are faced with a lot of situations that you could never prepare for and those moments can make you feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster. Physical health affects your mental, emotional and spiritual health more than people would think.
When you are chronically ill, your life becomes a vicious cycle of intense symptoms and flares. This can leave you feeling completely hopeless and lost at times. But even at moments when it feels impossible to find joy, it is possible, even on the darkest days. Some days you have to search a little harder for that joy but it is always there. Joy looks different to everyone. As a chronic illness warrior it is so important that you surround yourself with joy because it is easy to lose hope of experiencing pure joy again.
I find joy in many ways in my life and I really make an effort to make those things a part of my daily living. One of the main ways that I find joy/happiness is by leaning into my faith. My faith has allowed me to overcome a lot of tough moments in this journey. I also surround myself with the love and support of my family and the few friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. A supportive group of people have the ability to turn my bad days into great days. I am so thankful for each of them because they not only provide peace/joy, they also give me so much hope. I also find joy and happiness in doing things I love such as: writing,listening to music and making memories with my bride.
The past month has been filled with more tough news regarding my health. Looking back on the past month, joy has still there even in the darkest days. Sometimes during hard times things become so overwhelming that we forget that even then we can still find joy in the little things. It is okay to have bad days but it is so important that everyday we challenge ourselves to stop and find happiness and joy. Joy always outweighs the bad and it is so important that we remind ourselves of that. Have a great day! ~OC
Today’s a new day! In 2 Corinthians 4:7-9, we read the following words: “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed.”
In the above verse, Paul is comparing us to jars of clay in verse seven because life here on earth will cause us to be broken sometimes and when we are we always have the choice on what we will do with our brokenness. If we allow God to fill us more with each and every passing trial or heartache, He can shine through that brokenness and others will see Him. Even though some heartaches and storms seem to last forever Paul goes on to explain how we need to view everything in life on earth.
In 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, it declares, “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” As difficult as it is to look at some storms as being temporary when we know here on earth it isn’t just going to go away, God is drawing us to His side to allow Him to fill us with more of His light and to be comforted by Him. He wants our focus to be on Him and eternity. He wants His light to shine through our brokenness so the world will see Him. The world is a dark, lost place and people need Jesus. The more we choose to be different by living a life that is pleasing to God the more they will see Him. Paul took great joy the more broken he became because He understood that the more weak he became the more God was shining through His life.
Whether we are looking at our own life or the life of someone we love, don’t lose heart. God loves us and He has a plan. We need to fix our eyes on Him and seek Him and His plan. Allow Him to fill us so every crack of that broken jar shines His light to a lost world. The darker the world gets the more our light can shine for Him if we are seeking Him and allowing Him to shine through us. Our hope is found in Him and He wants to fill us with that hope. He wants to fill us with the confidence that whatever we may be facing or someone we love is facing that He has a plan but we must seek Him and follow Him. Don’t look for another way, the answers that we are seeking are found in God. It may seem easier and faster to look for it somewhere else, but if it isn’t His plan then it isn’t His best. So let us seek Him and trust Him, knowing how much He loves us so we can know that truly His best is yet to come. May we lean into His promises. ~OC
The Blessed Overcomer 