Tag: Grateful

Embrace Your “Can’t”

Today’s a new day! I used to tell people that the word “Can’t” should never be uttered from their mouth. I used to use the popular phrases “Just Do It,” and “Sleep when you’re dead.” Yes, I was that guy.

In today’s world, we are pushed and even encouraged to take on more and more, and we are seen as weak or strange when we are unable, or do not want to do so.

For me, this mindset came from my passion for life. It was fueled by a deep craving to achieve everything in life. It’s what made me intense, driven, competitive, and hardworking. It was who I was. Until I wasn’t.

As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for 22 years, it took me some time to come to terms with my “can’t.” Early on in my health journey, I constantly pushed through truly excruciating symptoms, like level 10 pain, exhaustion from weeks of no sleep, and unrelenting crushing fatigue even when I did sleep. I pulled myself together through constant life-threatening health issues, and participated in physical activities that I had no business attempting with a smile on my face (like running multiple marathons with no training) – while inside my body, my mind, and my spirit were dying a slow and agonizing death. Yet I still didn’t listen.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Because I believe I could have spared my body a lot of pain and damage, my mind a lot of anxiety, if I had just learned to accept, or even embraced my “can’t” earlier in my health journey. I would have also spared my bride from a lot of worrying.

I want to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. I hope you take the time to read and reflect on them.

1). “Can’t” Is Not Weakness:

The biggest hurdle when it comes to dealing with “can’t” is intimately understanding on a heart-knowledge level that being unable to do certain things because of your illness does not mean you are weak, lazy, unintelligent, or unmotivated. This is where I was stuck for a long time. I had believed my whole life that if I couldn’t perform at peak levels, it must be my fault and that I just wasn’t trying hard enough. So, when my illness started to seriously affect my work quality in the career I had worked so hard to achieve, I compared myself to those around me, and told myself that I was just “too stupid” or “lazy” to do the job. At times I listened to the lies that I was worthless.

Hello Over-Achiever. I want to talk to you directly now. You burn-the-candle-at-both-ends doers. You know-you-can-conquer-the-world types. You did not choose your health issues. You didn’t work hard your whole life just to become a “lazy” and “unmotivated” on a whim. That’s not you and that’s not what is happening in your life. It’s not a matter of motivation, drive, desire, or ambition. It’s not a matter of not trying hard enough. It’s a matter of your body revolting against the true self of your mind and spirit. It’s a matter of your earthly vessel failing the real and eternal you that lives inside. The true and eternal you is still the same as it has always been: driven, motivated, intelligent, and strong. Once you accept this and understand the gulf between the two “yous,” you can take strides to get your body back on board so that a more collected, collective you can get back to truly living.

Accepting your “can’t” isn’t weakness; it’s actually strength. It means that you are strong enough to look your health challenge squarely in the face and get after the business of Overcoming. It means that you are brave enough to accept that your life right now must take an unexpected detour. It means that you are willing to admit your physical “can’t” so that you can open your mind and spirit to what you can and must do to regain your health. And the only way you can allow your focus to properly shift to healing is to first completely embrace your illness and your “can’t.”

2. “Can’t” Allows Healing:

Sadly, it took me several years to embrace this truth. I am encouraging you not to wait. Because if you don’t fully believe and fully accept that you are sick, you will keep running the rat race. But if you look deep in your heart, listen to your body, and know in truth that you are sick, then you can accept it. Embrace it.

I cannot stress this enough. Because until you wholly feel the weight of it, until you embrace it and believe it, you can’t get truly angry about what your illness is stealing from you. And until you get angry you cannot mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare for the battle ahead of obtaining a full and accurate diagnosis, proper treatment, and hopefully better health. This is how coming to terms with your “can’t” sets you on the path to healing.

If you are in the early stages of your health journey, this next part may shock you. The medical system (at least in the United States) will not completely facilitate you regaining your health. Not at all. Unless you are exceptionally fortunate, your journey is not going to look like: get sick, see a doctor, get better. No, if you have a chronic or complex illness, generally speaking you need to prepare for battle. You need to arm yourself with knowledge and with the mental fortitude to be your own advocate. You need to prepare to fight for your life. You need to push for answers and drive the process. No one else will or can do it for you.

This is why embracing your “can’t” is so important. Because when you truly realize what you “can’t,” you get really, really angry at this invisible thief of life that is your illness. I don’t mean “bitter” angry, I mean “motivated and determined” angry. And you’re going to need that determination to drive the (sometimes grueling) battle that lies before you. And that drive to press forward in the battle is the only thing that will lead you to wellness.

It’s all you, Warrior! So get really angry at your “can’t” and resolve in your mind to do everything you humanly can to regain your health.

3. “Can’t” might be forever (But it’s not your identity): One of the more valuable pieces of advice I can share with you is that your “can’t” might be forever. That can be a difficult pill to swallow. But your “can’t “ does not need to become your identity. My life is much more than all the “limitations” I face on a daily basis. My life is full of hope, adventures and overcoming all the bumps in the road.

4. “Can’t” Makes Room for “Can”

Another critically important thing that coming to terms with your “can’t” does is that it makes room in your life for your “can.” Some of your “cans” may look something like:

1). I can make healthy, life-giving meals for myself to help my body heal.

2). I can research my illness for myself so that I have the knowledge to ask good questions at my appointments and to make educated treatment decisions.

3). I can maintain a positive attitude, despite how I feel.

4). I can make time for self-care activities that will help my body.

5). I can surround myself with people who encourage me in my health journey.

6). I can purposefully structure my life so that it supports wellness and healing.

7). Even though I couldn’t yesterday, today I can go for a short walk or bike ride.

8). This morning, I can rise early and sit peacefully to watch the sun rise

9). Right now, I can make positive choices to help with the symptoms I’m experiencing.

10). Don’t get hung up on committing to daily schedules of “cans” or expecting some type of minimum performance of “cans.” While it’s absolutely important to have bigger, more overarching “can” goals, embrace what you can do today and accept that tomorrow’s “cans” may look very different based on your health. Every day is a new opportunity to discover and put into practice the things you can do.

Here are some practical steps that can be used to work towards peace with your current “can’t:”

1. Pray

2. Journal

3. Reach out to family/friends

4. Reach out for professional help if needed

Coming to terms with your “can’t” may be difficult, but it’s so important and it opens the way for healing and wellness to come in time. You are unbelievably strong to live with your symptoms day in and day out and even stronger to accept and face such a challenge head on. Be encouraged that your “can’t” is just for right now and that nothing we face on this side of Heaven is forever. ~OC

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Go Fly!

Today’s a new day! As I continue to deal with the effects of Lewy Body Dementia, sometimes my thoughts take me to a place that doesn’t always make sense. But sometimes, I am blessed with a word, thought or phrase that might not make sense to me at the time, but as I unpack it and begin to pray about it, all the sudden things become a bit more clear to me. Let me give you an example.

A few weeks ago, I saw a butterfly fly by me as I was sitting on my balcony. Like most of you, I have seen hundreds of butterflies in my lifetime. But that day, God impressed upon me to type the word butterfly down in my notes. So I did and did not think anymore about it until a few days ago. The following is what God showed me and I thought I would share it with you.

I often wonder if a butterfly ever goes back to thinking like a caterpillar once it has undergone chrysalis. Does the butterfly ever think, “Man, I had it so good when I had to crawl everywhere and ate leaves?” Or does the butterfly look to its new life where it can fly, go places faster and eat the sweet pollen from flowers and think I will never go back to crawling? I’m guessing the latter because I have never seen a butterfly eat leaves or crawl around.

I wonder then why we often go back to our old ways of stinky thinking and our old ways of life once we have asked God into our lives. We have been set free from a life shackled and earth bound to a life of a high calling in Jesus. Scripture says that all things have become new and we are a new creation. We have to put away our old way of thinking.

In Ephesians 4:23, we read that we should let the spirit renew our thoughts and attitudes and to put on our new nature. That can be easier said than done when our old life keeps wanting to creep back in and disrupt our new life. Our old life wants to come back out and do things that it used to do before we accepted a new life in God

The following are a few things I believe we can do to help us live the life God has chosen just for us.

1). Change Our Environment:

We cannot change our thinking and our life until we change our environment. The butterfly has to flap its wings and leave the leaf so it can find new life. You and I are called to come out from among them and to be separate. If we never leave our old life, we will never be all that God intended us to be.

We have to find new places to hang out and feed ourselves good things. It can be hard to leave the old things behind, but if those things are holding us down, we have no choice. That could mean distancing ourselves from old friends who might want to pull us back into our old habits. We were meant to fly. So we need to spread our wings and trust God to help us navigate this new life.

2. Change What You Put in Your Mind:

The butterfly no longer eats what it used to. Its appetite changed and so did its taste. As a Christian, our spiritual appetite and tastes must change. We cannot walk through this new life eating, drinking and talking like our old selves. It is unhealthy for our new selves to continue consuming our old diet. Plus, I find as we start consuming new healthy things our bodies will not want the junk our bodies used to crave as much.

3. Embrace Your New Life:

Our new life should not only bring glory to God, but also light to others. When we see a caterpillar and a butterfly, we think two different things. The caterpillar is destructive to plants and is not very attractive. But the butterfly brings life to other plants and is beautiful. Our lives should have that kind of change.

We are called to live and walk in the light. We are to bring life to those around us and not destruction. People should be able to see a difference in our new lives. We should embrace who God has created us to be and strive to live the life we were meant to live. If we do that, we cannot help but to soar. So, go fly! ~OC

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Transformed Nonconformist

Today’s a new day! Did you know there are 1,430 hate groups in the United States alone. Sadly, those numbers are growing. While many tend to be small, they have political power and want to see unrest across America.

Hate groups will continue to poison hearts, stir up violence, and polarize people in 2024 and beyond. So to gear up for these challenges, I reflected back on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s book Strength to Love. I encourage you to check it out.

The book is a fascinating read, but one of the phrases Dr. King used truly grabbed my attention. Dr. King calls us to be “Transformed Nonconformist” Here is the scripture that Dr. King used to come up with this beautiful term.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2).

Transformed nonconformists reject racism, discrimination, hatred and anything that tears our society apart and tries to divide us.

Transformed nonconformists break the chain reaction of evil by refusing to “fight fire with fire.”

Why? Because as Dr. King explains, “Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence… in a descending spiral of destruction” This is one of the main reasons for not responding in kind to evil. In the powerful words of Mahatma Ghandi, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

The second part of Romans 12 describes the divine reason we break the chain reaction of evil. The Scriptures command us to conquer hate through the power of love:

*Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (v. 14).

*Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone (v. 17).

*If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (v. 18).

*Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath (v. 19).

*If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink… (v. 20).

*Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (v. 21).

These commands indicate that a transformed nonconformist is in fact a peacemaker. And these peacemakers break the chain reaction of evil – through suffering, absorbing pain and responding in love.  

Peacemaking is not for the faint of heart. Peacemaking demands an uncompromising rejection of the unloving ways of the world and a radical embrace of the enemy-loving way of Jesus.

I read an article once where a civil rights worker was asked how he was able to endure racial hatred and violence while working for justice. “The hatred coming at me in those fists and clubs was bouncing right off me back into the air, and it could just continue to spread like electricity. I decided not to fight back. I would let my body absorb that hatred, so that some of it would die in my body and not bounce back into the world. I now see that my job in the midst of evil is to make my body a grave for hate.”

Did you catch that last sentence? “Making my body a grave for hate.” That sounds scary. It is! That is why I chose to follow Jesus – the one who made his body a grave for hate, the one who rose from the grave, and the one who said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you” (John 20:21).

I pray you will join me on this journey of Love over hate. ~OC

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Experiencing Peace

Today’s a new day! Along this journey called life, we all deal with fear. Fear can hit us during what we thought would be a routine doctors appointment. Fear can hit us when test result comes back with more questions than answers. Fear can hit us when we watch the news or scroll through social media. We have all experienced fear in our lives.

Back in 2003, one of my doctors called me early one morning and shared he needed to see me right away. Then he made the comment “Oh and make sure you bring your wife.” A little fear hit me at that moment. Later when the doctor shared I had a tumor, the fear grew a little deeper. Fear, worry and anxiety. My wife and I experienced all those feelings sitting in that doctor’s office.

A few weeks later a biopsy revealed the tumor was the size of golfball and was cancerous. Once again, fear, worry and anxiety smacked me in the face. Things seemed overwhelming at that point.

Then something amazing happened. As I laid in ICU hooked up to several machines, God took away the fear, worry and anxiety. Those feelings were replaced by peace, calmness and even joy. Yes, joy. What changed?

God reminded me of the week long fast I had done a year earlier during a missions trip. He revealed the reason I had fasted was to prepare me for this very moment. Peace flooded my room and heart at that moment. In that moment, I completely turned my health situation over to Jesus and trusted Him to walk me through my unknown future.

Even though I had been filled with fear, anxiety and worry, Jesus was right there with me. He shared hope, love and peace even as I was overwhelmed with so many different emotions. God never abandoned me in my time of need.

During that moment, I still had to deal with life as a cancer patient. But that unknown did not overwhelm me anymore. Jesus reminded me that He was bigger than any health issue I would ever face. I am thankful, I did not know my future would be full of more health issues, test, multiple doctors appointments and hospital stays. No, at that moment I was just filled with peace. A peace that has never left me.

Here I am in 2024, after overcoming so much, but still dealing with so many health issues. Fear and worry try to overwhelm me at times, but I am still experiencing that same peace and joy I experienced in that ICU room so many years ago. Knowing that Jesus is still bigger than anything life throws at me. Still living life with a thankful heart. ~OC

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Joy!

Today’s a new day! Being chronically ill comes with a lot of ups and downs and a wide range of emotions. These emotions can be so strong and overwhelming at times. As you walk through the different stages of being chronically ill, you are faced with a lot of situations that you could never prepare for and those moments can make you feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster. Physical health affects your mental, emotional and spiritual health more than people would think.

When you are chronically ill, your life becomes a vicious cycle of intense symptoms and flares. This can leave you feeling completely hopeless and lost at times. But even at moments when it feels impossible to find joy, it is possible, even on the darkest days. Some days you have to search a little harder for that joy but it is always there. Joy looks different to everyone. As a chronic illness warrior it is so important that you surround yourself with joy because it is easy to lose hope of experiencing pure joy again.

I find joy in many ways in my life and I really make an effort to make those things a part of my daily living. One of the main ways that I find joy/happiness is by leaning into my faith. My faith has allowed me to overcome a lot of tough moments in this journey. I also surround myself with the love and support of my family and the few friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. A supportive group of people have the ability to turn my bad days into great days. I am so thankful for each of them because they not only provide peace/joy, they also give me so much hope. I also find joy and happiness in doing things I love such as: writing,listening to music and making memories with my bride.

The past month has been filled with more tough news regarding my health. Looking back on the past month, joy has still there even in the darkest days. Sometimes during hard times things become so overwhelming that we forget that even then we can still find joy in the little things. It is okay to have bad days but it is so important that everyday we challenge ourselves to stop and find happiness and joy. Joy always outweighs the bad and it is so important that we remind ourselves of that. Have a great day! ~OC

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Jars of Clay

Today’s a new day! In 2 Corinthians 4:7-9, we read the following words: “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed.”

In the above verse, Paul is comparing us to jars of clay in verse seven because life here on earth will cause us to be broken sometimes and when we are we always have the choice on what we will do with our brokenness.  If we allow God to fill us more with each and every passing trial or heartache, He can shine through that brokenness and others will see Him. Even though some heartaches and storms seem to last forever Paul goes on to explain how we need to view everything in life on earth.  

In 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, it declares, “Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  As difficult as it is to look at some storms as being temporary when we know here on earth it isn’t just going to go away, God is drawing us to His side to allow Him to fill us with more of His light and to be comforted by Him.  He wants our focus to be on Him and eternity.  He wants His light to shine through our brokenness so the world will see Him.  The world is a dark, lost place and people need Jesus. The more we choose to be different by living a life that is pleasing to God the more they will see Him. Paul took great joy the more broken he became because He understood that the more weak he became the more God was shining through His life.  

Whether we are looking at our own life or the life of someone we love, don’t lose heart. God loves us and He has a plan. We need to fix our eyes on Him and seek Him and His plan. Allow Him to fill us so every crack of that broken jar shines His light to a lost world. The darker the world gets the more our light can shine for Him if we are seeking Him and allowing Him to shine through us. Our hope is found in Him and He wants to fill us with that hope. He wants to fill us with the confidence that whatever we may be facing or someone we love is facing that He has a plan but we must seek Him and follow Him. Don’t look for another way, the answers that we are seeking are found in God. It may seem easier and faster to look for it somewhere else, but if it isn’t His plan then it isn’t His best. So let us seek Him and trust Him, knowing how much He loves us so we can know that truly His best is yet to come. May we lean into His promises. ~OC

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Take a Minute Today

Today’s a new day! As we reach the end of another week, I would encourage each of you to take one minute and think about the people who have helped you become the person you are today. The people who invested time into helping you grow as a person. If those individuals are still alive, I would encourage you to reach out to them and say thank you. For those life investors who have passed away, I would encourage you to spend some time reflecting on the lessons they taught you. ~OC

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Life with Friends

Today’s a new day!

“This is my commandment: that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.” – John 15:12-13

The words from this gospel of John make me realize how blessed the bond of friendship are. However, I wonder how often we recognize how the love shared between friends reflects the love that God shares between each individual person. Additionally, I wonder if each of us realizes how difficult friendship can be.

It’s interesting to see that the gospels do not always paint a flattering picture of the friendship between Christ and his apostles. The Gospel of Mark consistently depicts Jesus struggling with the apostles, who fail to comprehend his message. In chapter 6 of Mark, Jesus calls these twelve men together to follow in his example of teaching God’s reign in the surrounding villages and gives them power over unclean spirits (6:6-7). However, Mark also writes that the apostles were unable to understand Jesus’ great power demonstrated in the miracle of feeding of the five thousand because “their hearts were hardened” (6:52). Additionally, the gospels of Matthew and Luke also depict the rocky and challenging moments in Jesus’ friendship with the apostles. Jesus chides Peter for trying to prevent Him from traveling to Jerusalem to enter into his Passion, saying, “get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block for me…” (Matthew 16:23). Finally, Luke shows that Jesus is exasperated with the disciples even after his Resurrection, when he calls Cleopas and the other disciple walking on the road to Emmaus “foolish” and “slow of heart” for failing to understand the meaning of His suffering and death, predicted first by the prophets (Luke 24:25).

How often do we find ourselves angry or frustrated at our friends because we want them to understand us in our words and actions? These brief scripture passages illustrate that sense of frustration. The Son of God enters into a world that struggles to recognize God at all, let alone when God is immanently present in the person of Jesus. Yet God loves this world so much that God freely gives God’s self to us in friendship through Jesus, despite the risk of being misunderstood, mistreated, and maligned. That is the blessing, and the risk, of friendship. We give ourselves in vulnerability to one another without knowing whether or not we will be loved and accepted as who we are.

However, friendship highlights our own vulnerabilities within ourselves and reveals our inherent desire for one another. My friends and I are not always laughing and joking; we meet each other in our brokenness and reach out for each other in our tears. They challenge me to consider new perspectives that de-center me from my own perspectives. Sometimes we get frustrated and do not understand each other. But our friendships exude love for one another because we recognize how incredible it is to simply find someone else. When we discover one another in truth and love through friendship, we choose to give of ourselves to that person.

Which leads me back to the quote from John above. I believe what Christ is trying to tell us is that friendship is the unspoken commitment of two people who recognize each other’s vulnerable, imperfect humanity and choose to love anyway. Jesus commands us to love each other as he loved us because he continued loving the world amidst rejection, sin, and death. He laid down his life to show us that the bond of friendship is at its strongest when we pour ourselves out to another. When we give of ourselves to each other, we glimpse into the eternal love that Christ promises us through his life, ministry, death, and resurrection.

This understanding of friendship creates friends who, like Jesus and the apostles, are unafraid to continue loving and challenging us. These friends will always reach out to us in our happiness and our sadness. These types of friends will always be there to take us down from our cross and lay us to rest, and wait for us to rise to new life, even if they don’t always believe it’s going to happen. And these friends will continue to believe in us, long after we have moved on from this world. ~OC

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Lived-Out Gospel

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk out my faith journey, I am often asked what does the gospel look like when it’s actually lived out? I believe God gives us many characteristics of the Spirit-filled life. Here are three that stand out to me.

We cannot truly live out the gospel if there is no love. Love must come first. Jesus Himself said the first commandment is to love God, then others. He even said we are to love as He loved, which was to lay down his life.

Are we to literally lay down our lives for others? Some may be asked to make that sacrifice one day. But most of us share love by giving of our time, our talents or our finances. Sometimes love is just being there. During my many hospital stays, I have some friends who just come and sit with me. That’s love. Other times we love by listening, encouraging and praying for others. Sometimes we give the shirts off our backs, or buy a meal or provide shelter to a hurting world. Lived-out love is a powerful witness.

A second witness is grace. Grace is often an unclear or vague concept for some, so here are a few synonyms to help everyone grasp the powerful meaning of this essential truth: mercy, forgiveness, benevolence, charity, clemency, compassion, favor, forbearance, generosity, goodwill, goodness, kindness, leniency, pardon, reprieve, responsiveness, tenderness.

Grace never holds a grudge, or refuse to forgive. Grace does overlook an offense, speaks kindly when verbally attacked and believe the best about people. Lived-out grace is a powerful witness.

A third evidence of truly walking out our faith is by living an authentic life. How many times have you heard someone say something about “hypocrites in the church”? Authenticity means we speak truth no matter the cost. We actually live out what we say as much as possible; we wear no masks. We consider the impact our words and actions have on those watching or reading what we say. We are even willing to be vulnerable. Wow!

Those are risky actions. We could be misunderstood, disapproved of, even shunned or taken advantage of. But we wouldn’t be hypocrites. We would be true, real … authentic. Lived -out authenticity is a powerful witness.

May we live out the gospel with love, grace and authenticity so that people will actually see Jesus in us. ~OC

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Twenty-Five Years. Twenty-Five Lessons.

Earlier this week, Laura and I celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been 25 years. This year to celebrate 25 years together, I want to share 25 things we have learned in this crazy beautiful journey. Obviously, we have learned more than 25 things, but these are the things that came to mind as I was writing this blog.

1). Pray continually.

2).Our faith in God, is what holds us together.  It’s the foundation for our relationship.

3).Protect your marriage by always putting it first…before self, before kids, before career, before parents, before friends. First. Period.

4).It’s ok to talk about how you feel. Just make sure those conversations are filled with respect.

5).Time alone together is important. Date Nights and getting away together once or twice a year is healthy for your relationship.

6).Learn the other person’s love language.

7).Laughter is good for a relationship.

8).Develop a shared interest. It can be simple. Laura and I like to travel and just sit around our house and chill.

9).You will face challenges in life. Work through those tough moments together. Always together.

10).Don’t allow family, friends or cultural to dictate your marriage.

11).In-laws can be challenging at times, but also a beautiful blessing.

12). Marriage not 50/50. It’s 100/100. However, you will not always both be able to give 100% and that’s ok. There will be times you and the Lord will carry things for the both of you. That is Love.

13). Don’t keep score.

14). Make the choice daily to love your spouse.

15). Serve your spouse even when you’re tired and maybe you don’t feel like it.

16). Communicate! Don’t keep things bottled up.

17). It’s ok to agree to disagree.

18). Having a separate interest is okay as long as it doesn’t interfere with your relationship.

19).Listen and let them know they are truly heard.

20). Tell your spouse you’re proud of them.

21). Support their dreams.

22). Critique with love.

23). When life gets tough, remember what you love about them

24). It’s a treasure to have someone to walk through the highs and lows of life with you.

25). Love always.

I am forever grateful that God has blessed me with a bride who loves God first. Also I have always known Laura loves me even on my worst day.

As I reflect on our 25 years together, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 comes to mind:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

To those couples that might be reading this post, I pray you will cling to the Lord and each other.  It’s what has carried Laura and I this far and I know it will you as well. ~OC

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