Tag: Grateful

Trials and Testimonies

Today’s a new day!

I look back and marvel how far I have come . . .

I don’t wonder how I’ve made it . . .

I already know the answer. . .

Only with God’s help have I powered through. . .

For without His strength I am not sure where I would be.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

How comforting to know that God knows the plans He has for us, He knows what challenges we will face in life, what changes we will face, and because He knows He gives us the strength and the wisdom to face each one and to overcome. With God I can face all things.

In 2002, I started on a crazy beautiful health journey. As I sit here today, twenty-two years later I have been quietly reflecting on all of life’s journeys that God has placed before me. Like everyone else, my journey has been filled with adventures, challenges, losses and obstacles. It has also been filled with a lot of faith.

Our faith will be tested throughout life, but there is a reason for those tests. For me personally, my faith has grown through my trials, my faith has persevered through these trials and my faith has grown stronger through
my trials. Without the trials of life, our faith at best would be minimal, yet through the trials our faith grows endlessly.

Over the past twenty-two years, I have had many discussion about the life changing moments we face in life, and how the way we react to them is a testament, a witness for those around us, for those observing. I believe our testimonies have more of an impact in those moments in life, than all the words we say. Our trials produce our testimonies.

As I continue running this crazy beautiful health journey, I have countless stories how God has worked in my life, how He gave me strength beyond measure when I needed it most, and how He continues to guide
me and give me strength, peace and wisdom. For that I am thankful. ~OC

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Embrace Silence

Today’s a new day! As I walk through this crazy beautiful health journey, one of the issues caused by my health battle is with my voice. As I write this morning, my voice is becoming weaker and weaker. Over the course of this crazy beautiful health journey, I have experienced many hours without a voice. While my voice issues have made it difficult for others to communicate with me, I have found amazing peace in my own silence.  I love having the time to sit quietly with my thoughts and to sometimes just be present without thinking at all.  I also love quietly watching what is going on around me without having to connect to the conversations.  During the course of this crazy beautiful journey, I have grown to love the silence in my life.

In my silence, I have learned or reinforced many lessons that I already knew.

1). Silence allows me the time to create a beautiful container for my own thoughts.  Sometimes the chatter that I engage in takes away my ability to be present and to trust my own thoughts and desires. The silence has given me the space to allow what God put in my heart to resonate more fully within me. The silence has allowed me to hear and connect with God in an intimate and powerful way.

2). As a Speaker, my voice was often used as a tool to tell stories and to connect with people. Dealing with voice issues, forced me to trust God and others in new ways.

3). As my voice became more of an issue, my love of writing became stronger. I have been blessed to write two books and start a blog. Issues with my physical voice can never silence me.

4). Vulnerability is a reality of life.  Sometime illness takes away our ability to function; it also makes me realize how we sometimes need to rely on others. That’s not a sign of weakness. No, it’s just part of being human.

As I have shared, my health journey is a gift. A gift that keeps taking away so many things, but also allowing me to experience so many beautiful moments. Losing my voice has given me time to reflect and to make some decisions for how I will navigate my life a little differently.  Perspective has come from the silence.  Instead of me just speaking the words that come to me, I have had the opportunity to stop and take the opportunity to reflect before acting too quickly.  Much can be learned in the space between the words (spoken or written).

My hope is that I will create a little more silence in my life as I continue to navigate this crazy beautiful health journey. I hope you take the time to experience the beautiful gift of silence in your own life. ~OC

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Thoughts on Friendship

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I have seen many of my friendships change. More than ever, I have looked for my friends to stand by me and catch me before I fall and break, like Humpty Dumpty.   

But like a “trust-fall” exercise gone wrong – right when you need their safety net the most – a lot of friends aren’t there. And sometimes the fall is hard.

The pain and disappointment of slowly losing friends can be overwhelming. It’s a blindsiding blow that you never see coming.

Since my health journey started way back in 2002, I have been hurt by the unpredictable disappearance of a number of friendships that I truly thought were solid.

As I have walked through this loss, I initially reacted the way most who are rejected and took it personally, adding insult to my health journey.

The following questions have flooded my mind at different times during my health journey:

Was it my fault somehow?

Was it something I did or said, or didn’t do or say?

How did I not see this coming?   

Those questions never had any real answers and just kept me spinning in an unresolved circular loop. That began to shift when I learned that many people dealing with chronic and longtime health issues deal with the very same issues.

I began to realize that many times the friends who left were the very people I believed I could count on the most.

I began to realize the issue was not me, but was those friends. They either lacked compassion, a willingness to be uncomfortable or they just couldn’t handle watching a friend decline day by day and year by year.

I guess I just assumed some friends would always be there for me. I thought wrong.

Maybe they excused themselves by rationalizing that they were “too busy”?

I have had some friends share they don’t want to bother me. That I need my rest. You can only rest for so many hours in a day.

I have friends not think to invite me to some function because “I did not think you would be up for it.” You never know unless you ask.

Other friends have mentioned they just figured my house is always full of company. Not the case.

Or, maybe for some, it’s because they are still able to hold onto the illusion that they maintain a level of control – something I have clearly lost in many ways. No cold, hard reality has come along to shatter that for them yet.

Who really knows why some friends chose to leave.

I have wondered if it’s realistic to think we can really know or count on the staying power of our friends until we encounter and work through adversity together.   

Things that we believe are shared between us – unique connection, loyalty, understanding, tolerance, mutuality, honesty, trust, humor, etc. – are much easier when they are not put to any serious test.

Since there are no friendship vows, I have had to get clear about my boundaries and the friendship qualities that matter the most.  

During this health journey, I have had Christian friends question my faith and asked what sin am I living with? Our one of my favorites, everyone is going to die; you just know what your dying from. Another favorite is “Well you have lasted this long.”

Once I got past the sting of some friendships fading like a sunset, I started focusing on the friends who have stuck around. They are more important than those friends that have chosen to fade away.

Those friends who have decided to run the race with me are like a healing balm that constantly renews my weary spirit. Thank you.

These wonderful souls in my life, show me that there are still many compassionate people out there who truly understand how to be a true friend.

Friendships lost is an experience that I didn’t ask for and didn’t want, yet it woke me up to not settle for anything less than solid, real and caring friendships. ~OC

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Old Friends

Today’s a new day! I woke up this morning, walked out on our balcony that overlooks my old high school (Twin Lakes High School / Palm Beach High School). It made me think a minute about some old friends.

Back in the day, I missed my friends on Summer Break. I loved a break from school. Loved getting to visit out of town family and playing sports all day. But a few weeks into the break, I would start missing my friends from school that did not live close by. Kinda felt like I wasn’t my whole self without them. No cell phones or social media back in the day. So between school and after school activities we would basically go from spending all day every day together to zero contact over the summer. Ouch. What was I gonna do call my friends on the phone that was attached to the wall several times a day and check in? Yes! That’s what a lot of us did back in the day. We made the effort to stay in touch. I fondly remember talking to some friends for hours on the phone.

As I reflect back on my high school years, I couldn’t wait for school to start back to see all of my friends. Yes, I was that person. Life was always better with friends around. I am thankful that God created me to be a person who really wants to connect with others. I can do the surface conversations, but I truly love having meaningful conversations. Always have. Of course being a teenage guy, that was not the norm. That’s probably why I have always had more female friends than guy friends. As I recall, there was not a lot of meaningful conversations with a lot of my guy friends back then. No real sentiments would be shared. I do not think we hugged back then. We would just be together, probably swap stories and just catch up. I am thankful for the few guys that were willing to open up and be real.

I look at my friends as family. I am blessed to still have friends from elementary school. I hope I have never taken my friendships for granted. But sadly, I probably have. For that I apologize. True friends are a beautiful gift. Especially when you’re young. Part of who we are today is because of the friends we had back in our younger days. Of course that could be a little scary. Haha!

As I continue walking through this crazy beautiful health journey, friendships mean a lot more to me these days. Every day is becoming more of a struggle for me at this time, but my days are brightened when I hear from a friend or a friend drops by. Especially when a childhood friend connects with me.

We were all created for relationships. Especially friendships. I believe in the old saying, you cannot pick your family, but thankfully you can choose your friends. My life has been blessed with amazing friendships. I am thankful for those friends who have chosen to walk with me through life. Especially those friends who have stayed by my side during this crazy beautiful health journey. You will never realize the difference you have made in my life. Thank you!

So today, take time to remember the beautiful friendships you have experienced over the years. Never take one for granted. Take time today, to reach out to a friend. You may just brighten their day. ~OC

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Walking Through Life

Today’s a new day! Have you ever walked through a season of life that left you pondering why God would allow you to experience the hurt, pain or even discouragement that resulted?
Obviously, there are some challenges we face that were a direct consequence of our choices. But as Christians we will walk through seasons of pain, suffering and hardships. As we read in scripture, pain and suffering will be a part of our lives.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Jesus doesn’t simply say we’ll have seasons of suffering and leave us to figure it out. No, he promises peace and reminds us that he walked through trials and overcame the world.
I personally believe, every trial we walk through has a purpose.

Yes, you read that above sentence correctly. We can find purpose as we walk through the storms of life, Our pain and suffering has a purpose. Let’s look at the life of the Apostle Paul for just a second. He underwent beatings, was shipwrecked and experienced multiple imprisonments. But through all of those trials, Paul recognized something that is absolutely essential for us to remember as believers – our pain and suffering is not meaningless but has a purpose. And not just in some situations, but in all things.

Every individual God used mightily throughout the Bible went through seasons of hardship. Moses had to flee his family who wanted to kill him, Elijah had people seeking his death, Queen Esther risked her life in order to save the Jewish people, Jesus’ disciples were martyred for their commitment to Christ and our Savior was beaten and crucified on the Cross. But scriptures repeatedly speaks about how our suffering never concludes without God’s power working through it in a supernatural way. Our seasons of pain and suffering often set us up to see God’s supernatural working in our lives.

I have experienced this truth in my own life over and over as I have walked through this twenty-two years and counting crazy beautiful health journey. For the past 22 years, I have experienced thousands of hospital visits, have had too many test and surgeries to count and have been told hundreds of times I only had a short time left to live. As I write this morning, doctors are not sure how much longer I have left. But through all of the ups and downs of this journey, God has been right here with me. Some friends may have left during this season of health issues, but God has been my rock. My firm foundation through the sleepless nights and the painful days. There has never been a day that God’s supernatural power has not been at work in my life.

But this journey has not been a run in the park. I am sure you can relate as you think about some of the difficult seasons in your life. Maybe you’re walking through one now. Our minds can be filled with the following questions mind such as: Does God hear me? Can I still be used by God? How long will I have to suffer? Where do I go from here?

As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, God has helped me through the pain, discouragement and loss. God has taught me so many amazing lessons on this journey. I have grown in so many ways. I am a stronger person because of this health journey.

So regardless of what trial you’re walking through today or what challenges lay ahead, here are some lessons I have learned during my health journey.

1). Bring your pain and suffering to God. Do not run from Him.
When we choose to run from God in seasons of challenge, all we’re left with is our own very limited ability to cope with what we’re walking through. On the flip side, when we run to God he invites us to draw near to him that we might experience his peace, comfort, healing, and closeness. This is what Psalm 34:18 points to:

 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

Nowhere in scripture do we read that we should suppress our pain, but instead, shows us where to direct it, like in Psalm 147:3:

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” 

During my health journey, I have needed a skilled surgeon to address multiple issues in my body. Those surgeons needed to remove or repair something so I could heal. Like our need for a surgeon to address physical wounds to our body, God desires to conduct divine surgery on our soul which results in supernatural healing despite how difficult the challenge.
When we bring our pain and suffering to God we recognize that there is a purpose and in time the One who loves us unconditionally will reveal his divine purpose through it.

2). We need to fill our lives with God’s Word and good people. The way we respond to challenging seasons is critical to how we process what’s happening and how healing will take place. If we treat physical sickness with the wrong medication, not only will the sickness continue, but it could become much worse. As I have run this health race, I have found surrounding myself with God’s word and with people who speak hope and encouragement into my life, I experience more peace. When we fill our life with negative thoughts and people, we will struggle to experience the peace of God he promises to us in Philippians 4:7:

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

So as you walk through this season of trials, I encourage you to fill your life with God’s word and with people who speak hope, truth and encouragement into your life.

3). Do not let your life be filled with worry. Instead allow praise, worship and gratitude to flow from your life. Something beautiful happens when we actively choose to worship through our suffering. We are not denying our reality, but we are making the choice to redirect our thinking from one of worry to one of worship. Worship can change our perspective. Worship speaks about where our confidence and hope resides. Worship redirects our thinking. Worship places the results in God’s hands. Not ours or the doctors. Whether our pain is the result of health issues, relationship challenges or financial struggle, when we begin to worship the Lord through our struggles, spiritual chains begin to break so that we are not ruled by our circumstance but we set our sights on something higher. Something bigger than ourselves and problems. In the Bible, we read about Paul and Silas praising God while chained and imprisoned. They could praise God because they recognized He was using their imprisonment to help spread the gospel.

4). We must choose to believe that God will turn our pain and sorrow into great joy. One of the paradoxes of Christianity is that God uses our pain for our good. Meaning our biggest trial can result in our greatest triumphs. When you think about Jesus’ greatest sorrow, suffering the shame, punishment, and death for our sins on the Cross, the result was great joy. His death on the cross provided us with hope, joy and the opportunity for eternal life.

As I reflect on my health journey, I do not get caught up in what I have lost along the way. No, I chose to look how God has used my story to strengthen and encourage others walking through their own season of trials. That gives me hope and strength to continue running this crazy beautiful health journey. ~OC

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Romans 8:1

Today’s a new day! I am currently studying Romans and here are some thoughts from Romans 8:1:

In Romans 8:1, we read “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

The power of Paul’s words are very strong. There is absolutely no possibility of condemnation coming from God towards believers. Once you are in Christ you are uncondemnable by God.

But what is condemnation? It is an unfavorable or adverse judgment made about us. God makes no unfavorable or adverse judgment about his children.

Now, we might condemn ourselves. We might not yet feel and experience the grace of God upon our lives. We might roll around in our feelings of guilt and shame for past mistakes but this is not from God. There is no condemnation from him.

We might feel condemnation from the world. Others might point and criticize and judge. Being a disciple of God’s will raise the bar of expectation. Condemnation might flow from others, but this is not from God. There is no condemnation from him.

And condemnation might come from the enemy of our souls. A shadowy feeling of failure is a great weapon of the enemy. The enemy loves to convince us of God’s dissatisfaction in our lives, but this also is not from God. There is no condemnation from him. ~OC

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Jesus is Enough

Good morning. I want to share a story with you this morning. A true story. A story about a man we still talk about today. Here is a little of his story.

This man was never baptized.
This man never took communion.
This man never spoke in tongues.
This man never attended a Bible study.
This man never gave a tithe to the local church.
This man never went on a mission trip.
This man never volunteered.
This man never said the sinners prayer.
This man could not even bend his knees to pray.
This man was a criminal.

Jesus didn’t lay hands on this man.

This man was broken and beat up by the world. But today, this man is sitting at the feet of Jesus, the same way anyone can by simply believing that Jesus was who He said He was and did what He said He did.

This man had nothing more to offer other than his belief that Jesus was who He said He was.

-No spin from a gifted speaker.
-No ego or arrogance.
-No shiny lights, skinny jeans, or crafty worship.
-No fog machine, donuts, or a latte in the lobby with a cool name.

Just a thief on a cross who was unable to even fold his hands to pray.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son so that WHOEVER believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. ~John 3:16

Because in the end….Jesus is enough. ~OC

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Fourth of July and Church

Today’s a new day! A lot of churches will celebrate the 4th of July today. I love America, but I have never liked when a church makes the 4th the main event of the service. I tend to skip that service in person and try to find a church service online that might acknowledge Independence Day, but not make it the main focus.

I believe acknowledging the Fourth of July should not require devoting the whole service to it. Churches might consider setting aside a special time of prayer for the nation and its leaders, in accordance with I Timothy 2:1-2. Pastors can thank God for the positive aspects of America and then move on to a service that shares the gospel and celebrates God.

One of the most useful exercises when thinking about the Fourth of July at church is imagining that you have Christians in attendance from across the world. For many churches this will not be difficult since they have a diverse community of believers. Americans, like citizens of all nations, have a natural fondness for the land of their birth. But as Christians we know that our ultimate citizenship is in heaven.

Therefore, churches should do nothing that would give our global brothers or sisters reason to feel like they don’t belong in your Fourth of July service. Such things could include the indiscriminate blending of worship songs with patriotic anthems, making it unclear whether we’re supposed to praise God or the American flag. Another would be to suggest that America is a nation uniquely favored by God, as if it is the latter-day biblical Israel.

By all means, let’s thank God for the good things he’s given us in America. Foremost among those things is the freedom to practice our faith without the fear of persecution. Let’s pray for our leaders to possess and employ godly wisdom.

On this Fourth of July, let’s remember that America is not a believer’s eternal home. ~OC

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Let Go To Grow

Several people have inquired about Todd taking an indefinite break from social media and sharing his daily thoughts. He wanted to share a few thoughts about his decision to take some time away from the world of social media.

Today’s a new day! When I hear God speak to my heart, I have learned that it serves me well to listen.

So a few weeks ago, I heard God share that it was time to take a break from social media. Then I started questioning the role of social media in my life, comparing and contrasting the pros and cons of it. I have taken breaks before so I thought about those times, too. Then it pretty much dawned on me as the following words were impressed upon me in a real way:

I was not created to spend so much time on social media. These platforms should not take away from time reading, journaling, praying and most importantly spending quality face to face time with real people.

There are some beautiful benefits about social media. They allow us to interact with old friends and meet some amazing people from all over the world. To stay in touch with loved ones. To read and hear about their life experiences. To pray for people. All amazing things. The problem is that social media always demanded more than I truly wanted to give.

The different social media platforms offer us endless opportunities to share our everyday lives, to pose questions, share world events, our opinions and photos of our favorite foods. There is always something to post or respond to. For me, it never stopped. If I missed a day of posting, I would have multiple people reaching out to me asking why I did not post. Not necessarily a bad thing, but a lot of pressure.

The good and bad thing with social media for me personally, is that I really tried to use my accounts to encourage and love on people. I could probably sit around all day long and just be corresponding with people. People feel comfortable sharing their life journey with me. So many people feel like they’re stuck or they’re hopeless. So they would reach out to me. I found myself pouring so much of myself out into so many people. Not complaining because it’s always my honor to connect with people willing to share their amazing life experiences with me. But a few weeks ago, I realized if I truly wanted to help and serve people, I needed to make sure that I was taking care of myself. Which was not always the case.

So, I have officially been off social media and not sharing daily thoughts for about a week. I have used that time to focus more on the truly important things in my life. I have enjoyed a quieter and less hectic week. Being off social media has given me the beautiful gift of rest and peace.

Will I return to social media at some point? I am not really sure. As I have taken a break from social media, God has given me this simple phrase “Let Go to Grow.” ~OC

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A Cost

Today’s a new day! As I reflect on this crazy beautiful health journey, there has been a cost. Physically my body has been beat up. Mentally I have lost a step or two. Emotionally, I have had to run through a lot of loss. Financially, life took a turn when I had to retire years before I was ready. Spiritually, I have been challenging and taught so many lessons. But through it all, I believe I have gained more than I have lost. The friendships made have been a beautiful blessing. Watching my body deteriorate has made me rely more on the promises of God. This health journey, has allowed me experience life in a different, but life changing way. Even though this journey has not been easy, I would not change a thing. This journey has given me purpose. To hopefully encourage others walking through their own journey. To challenge people to step out of their comfort zones. To truly live out the teachings of God and be his hands and feet. As this journey continues to bring challenges, I will continue to choose to be an Overcomer. I will finish strong! ~OC

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