Tag: healing

Thankfulness While Grieving

Today’s a new day! Today is also Thanksgiving Day. I have many things to be thankful for, but I am also grieving the death of a loved one. This has been a hard week.

It can be difficult to be thankful when you’re in a season of grieving. When you experience the loss of a loved one you begin to wonder if you will ever feel happy again. It is hard to be thankful when you are hurting. The Bible is not silent on the issue of suffering. The Bible is full of scriptures and stories about suffering.

Giving thanks to God during times of grief is difficult, but not impossible. In fact, it is one of the best ways of progressing towards hope while you are grieving. How can you be thankful during times of grief? I believe Remembering , Reflecting , and Rejoicing can guide us through a season of loss and grief.

First, take time to remember. Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. Do not doubt in the darkness what you have clearly seen in the light. One of the results of the grieving process is that our minds become absorbed with that one thing. It is so important that you force yourself to remember key foundational truths about God. Remember that He loves you. Remember that He is in control. Remember that He is always working good; even in the bad circumstances. While grieving, you may not want to hear someone quote Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” But, remember that it is true. 

Second, take time to reflect. Reflect on your current situation, but do not dwell on it. What’s the difference between reflecting and dwelling? Think of it like a house. When you dwell in a house you live in it. Dwelling on the cause of your grief is like going back to the situation and living there as you relive it over and over. When you reflect, you think deeply and carefully about something. Going back to the house illustration, rather than dwelling in the house, you sit outside the house and look in. Reflecting is different because it gives you time to grieve and realize that your life has changed and there will be a new reality moving forward.

Remember, there is no set timeframe for you to stop grieving. Please hear that. Grief has no timeline. In one sense, you will never stop grieving until you are given your new body and dwelling with God in Heaven. The purpose in grieving well is not to stop grieving, but to begin grieving with hope.

When we are grieving we are overwhelmed by our emotions. Our emotions are powerful and have great control over us, so we are told in the Bible to take control of them. We do this by guarding our heart. Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” The heart is the essence of who we are. It is more than just emotions. It is the command center of your life. It directs our emotions.

Through grief and mourning we must remember to guard our hearts.

Third, take time to rejoice. In the middle of your mourning, allow your heart and mind to remember some of the beautiful moments and memories. That can be difficult in the midst of a loss or a difficult season in life. But the fact that God has brought us this new day means that we can rejoice and be glad in it. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. This verse does not teach us that every circumstance is good, but that God is good. This is not always easy, but we must continue to lean into this truth.

So today take some time to Remember, Reflect, Rejoice

*Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. 

*Reflect and give yourself time to grieve. Guard your heart so that you do not believe lies but trust God.

*Rejoice in the Lord who is powerfully and purposefully at work.

If you are grieving, trust God. Consider the story of Martha from John 11. Martha had just lost her brother and was grieving. When she saw Jesus she said to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21). Martha then said something very profound. Martha said, “But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You” (John 11:22). Martha serves as an example of a godly person hurting yet trusting. So today, allow God to help you give thanks in all circumstances on this Thanksgiving Day. ~OC

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Forgiveness

In Matthew 6:9-15 we read the following words:

Pray then like this:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

This is just one of many lessons Jesus taught us about unforgiveness. He shared on numerous occasions about not allowing unforgiveness to reside in our hearts. God shared those who refuse to forgive others will not be forgiven by the Father. Be careful not to misunderstand Jesus’ meaning here. We do not lose our salvation when we refuse to forgive others. Rather, we break fellowship with God because an unrepentant attitude interferes with regular confession and turning away from sin.

Forgiveness is an act of the will more than an act of the heart. We do not often feel like showing mercy or forgiveness to someone who’s wronged us, but but that’s exactly what we’re called to do (Matthew 5:38-40). A resentful spirit grows into a terrible burden. God knows that forgiveness is best, even when it is difficult. Claim the divine mercy He offers, and ask Him to enable you to lay aside your frustrations, anger and resentment. As part of the decision to move forward in grace, make a habit of praying for those who hurt you. And if God so leads, seek their forgiveness for your wrong attitude or actions.

A bitter spirit doesn’t fit who we are in our relationship with God. That’s why there are so many scriptures about forgiveness. We have to choose to be liberated from our burdens and unforgiveness. Did you catch that? We have to make the choice. God promised to make us free when we choose to believe and obey Him (John 8:31-32). Freedom from our burdens sounds pretty good to me. ~OC

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Shine God Shine

Today’s a new day!

Dear God, as we walk through this journey called life, let your light shine through us. Destroy all the darkness and negativity around us. Dear God, let the warmth of your light, the brightness of your love, the sweetness of your joy, the beauty of your hope shine through us. Dear God, let your light be our guide through the storms of life. Let your light brighten our path. Dear God, let your light shine through us everyday. Shine God Shine! ~OC

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Division

Today’s a new day! Division has always been a part of society, but I would say that in the last 10-15 years we have seen division grow to new heights. It seems to be hitting us on every level; national, regional, and individual. It has the potential to destroy what is precious to us if we yield to it. Division can separate us from those we love the most; it can take down sporting teams, companies and nations if left unchecked. The following is a few things I have tried to apply in my own life over the years to help overcome division. Not always successfully, but still striving for.

1). My enemy is the Enemy, not you. In Ephesians 6:12 we read the following words, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” The enemy doesn’t really care who you’re divided against, as long as there’s division. Why would the enemy want to stir up division? Because “a house divided against itself cannot stand.” The enemy’s objective is to lie, steal and destroy, and division is an effective way to accomplish all three.

2). Division will always result in disconnection and disconnect opens the door to disunity. I believe connecting with others is why we’re here. Each of us are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering. When we experience division between ourselves and another person or group, a good question to ask is, “What connection does the enemy want to steal from me?”

3). It is possible to stand up for a worthy cause, but do it with an incorrect attitude. When we see ourselves or others fighting for truth, justice, or anything good, but recognize wrong attitudes, it can be extremely confusing. A good question to ask ourselves when we find ourselves in the midst of disunity is: Am I dealing with pride? Is my perspective of those I feel divided against tainted with judgments rooted in criticism, self-righteousness or pride? Am I motivated by love, or by fear? In my experience with division, I have found that one “side” is rarely 100% right and the other 100% wrong. I have found people on different sides of an issue, often have a mix of right and wrong attitudes. I have found it helpful to ask God to reveal my own heart to me. David did this when he prayed, “Who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults.(Psalm 19:12)

4). Rejection and division often work hand in hand. This is where it is wise to remember your history with people. Choose to remember the times that they have been there for you during the storms of life. Ask yourself: “Is this rejection I’m feeling from this person or group a long-standing pattern? Or is this something new?” The enemy would love to steal the harvest of our lives…the years of faithful friendship we have had with one another. Let’s have the courage to press in and fight for the precious relationships that we’ve invested years in cultivating. Be willing to have the tough conversations. Even if we walk away with a “agree to disagree understanding.”

5). We also must walk through tough situations with the mindset of “Forgiveness is always on the table if we are to walk in unity and freedom.

6). When we pray for those we disagree with, our heart and perspective will often change. Praying to be unified in truth and in love can be a very strategic spiritual weapon against the evil one.

7). Venting or gossiping to others who are not part of the problem or the solution can bring anger, misunderstandings and division. Here’s the bottom line, none of us win when division is given the freedom to rule the day.

8). We have to be willing to look past our differences and agree to come to the table and talk about the things we have in common. Those conversations can lead to the harder conversations. Are you willing to sit at the table with those you disagree with?

I hope this blog post helps you in working with those you might disagree with. Let’s decide to live with the following in our hearts “Unity Over Self.” ~OC

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Bold Courage

Today’s a new day! Let’s face our fears with bold courage. Let’s fully embrace life, whether young or old. Let’s stand tall, let our light be bright, shining through the darkest moments. Let’s live with strength, never yielding. Let courage conquer and truth reveal. ~OC

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Dear…,

Today’s a new day!

Dear……,

I want you to know, first and foremost, how special you are. Those are not words to make you feel better. Whether you realize it or not, your life matters.

I want you to know how you light up the world with your smile when you show it off. So please, show it off more. You use more of your face muscles when you smile, so stretch it out so wide that it hurts and remember when you grow old and see wrinkles around your mouth that you got them from smiling.

I know people are trying to reach out to you to tell you that everything is going to be alright and that they’re there for you. Please – and I cannot stress this enough – do not push them away or shut them out. You may not want to hear it, but those family members, friends, and coworkers are there for you and would do anything to help.

So, give them a chance even when you don’t think they’ll understand your pain. You’ll never know if you do not let them in. You’re feeling alone right now. So alone that you don’t think anyone can see all the pain you’re going through.

I want you to know I see you, okay? I can see the pain written all over your face because I know the look of someone trying so hard to pretend like they’re alright when they’re crumbling on the inside. You’re not alone, you have people in your life, and even people you didn’t see coming, who are more than willing to reach out and be there for you.

I know you feel like you cannot get through this current storm. I know it seems like your world is crumbling all around and you cannot find the strength to get back up. Your days are spent isolated in your house, and you cannot eat, sleep or find the strength to move from the comfort and safety of your bed. You have lost the ambition to go outside and breathe in the fresh air. Can I share a little truth with you? I have been where you’re at. I did a pretty good job hiding it, so most people even those closest to me didn’t even notice it. Some days I was barely holding on.

So, I encourage you to hang in there. You’re important to this world and have so much talent and so many amazing ideas to give. You have a light inside you that lights up the world. So keep holding on.

Please, continue to take one day at a time. Keep leaning into the loving arms and promises of God. It’s so easy to want all the answers right this moment, but this life is not a 30 minute tv show. I would love to give you a quick fix, but that could possibly rob you of some amazing lessons God is trying to teach you in this moment. But I can promise you this. We will get through this together. Keep holding on. ~OC

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Quiet Strength

Today’s a new day! Walking through the tough moments of life requires what I call quiet strength. This is a strength that allows us to get back up when life knocks us down. This is a strength that allows us to hold on when we want to let go. This is a strength that powers through when it would be easier to quit. This quiet strength isn’t always pretty, but it’s strong. This quiet strength will leave scars. But the beautiful thing about this quiet strength is that it never gives up.

The life that God has called you to live requires a quiet strength and a deep down in the soul determination to keep pushing forward. To keep fighting.

This quiet strength from God defies logic and can grow in the most unlikely people. Like you and me.

So today, allow that quiet strength to guide you through another day. Don’t give up. Dig deep and keep living. Keep thriving.

Today, draw strength from God and keep living out the purpose he has planned for your life. ~OC

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Just Breathe

Today’s a new day! Stop and take a breath. Sometimes that’s all we can do. We’ve done everything else. We have lifted up every prayer, we have sung every worship song, and we have cried every tear. Sometimes we cannot fix everything that spirals out of control. We have exhausted ourselves. We finally look to God and simply say I do not know what to do.

We are silent. Dear God, we know that you’re close, but sometimes the only voices we hear are the chaotic ones raging from inside our head. Please speak to us. Dear God, let the fire of your amazing love burn away everything that is not from you.

Gently you come. We feel the faint touch of your Spirit—a little light in the midst of our darkness. Let us lean into your presence and promises.

We hear your voice chase away our fears. You whisper for us to be still, to release our worries to you, so you can step in. In all honesty, we wonder if we truly can. But out of obedience and sometimes complete exhaustion, we surrender all. Dear God, please take it all. We choose to put our trust in you. We choose to leave all our junk at your feet.

We choose to be still. Let our hearts experience Your peace. You are God and you will not forget your promises to us. ~OC

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Here For You

Today’s a new day!

When the nights are long and sleep is a distant memory and your days are full of dark cloudy memories, I will be here for you

When the world feels like it’s moving a million miles an hour and you want to jump off, I will be here for you

When the world seems to have forgotten you and moved on, I will be here for you

When the doctors give you little hope your friends can’t be found, I will be here for you

When you feel alone in this broken and dark world, I will be here for you

When the rest of the world calls you crazy because you go against the grain, I will be here for you

When you decide to question everything you been taught and your friends and church question your faith, I will be here for you

When your lifestyle doesn’t align with those of your family and friends, I will be here for you

When you decide to speak up and be bold, I will be here for you

When the rest of the world misses out on your beauty and promise, I will be here for you

When you need to laugh or cry, I will be here for you

When the world thinks your ideals are but a pipe dream, I will be here for you

When your journey takes you down a winding and uncertain road, I will be here for you

When you need a second or hundredth chance, I will be here for you

You never have to walk this journey alone, I will walk with you anyway you need me to

I never want to miss a chance to show you, I will always be here for you

It’s gonna be okay, I will be here for you

I’ll be here, I’ll be here

Anyway you need

I’ll be here for you

~OC

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