Tag: healing

Christians, Love Thy Neighbors

Today’s a new day! As Christian’s we are called to love and serve others. We are also called to be ambassadors of reconciliation. In his letter to the church in Corinth, Paul wrote, “So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!  All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:  that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Corinthians 5:11-21)

What does it look like to be a reconciliation ambassador? It doesn’t look like calling people names and telling them they’re going to hell. It’s loving them and praying for them and looking for opportunities to talk quietly like civilized human beings on topics about which we all care deeply.

Looking at the fruits of the spirit, agape love is a divinely inspired action. It’s not a feeling. No, agape love comes from God. We cannot do it on our own. It requires sacrifice. When scripture says love your neighbor, it’s not a choice, it’s a command. Which means we must love people even if we don’t agree with them.

We don’t get to call people out in a holier-than-thou, take-that tone of voice that says they’re less than while we’re angels-in-training.

Here’s some truth. Jesus never belonged to a political party. Contrary to popular belief, Jesus was not a Republican. Also, I do not believe Jesus was a Democrat. He loved the woman at the well. He loved the tax collector. He loved the adulterer. He loves that political candidate you have decided to hate. He loves the sinner. He loves you. He loves me. And Jesus expects us to love everyone.

As a Christian, do you find that difficult? Fine. Start with one of the first things our moms and grandmas taught us. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

Then move on to “love thy neighbor as thyself.”

And then “let he who has no sin cast the first stone.” That’s a good one. As I reflect on my past shortcomings, I sometimes shutter at some of the things I’ve said, written or done. I am blessed and humbled that Jesus has forgiven me and crushed those iniquities under his heel.

I cannot stand in judgement because I have this enormous plank in my eye and I can’t see the splinter in the other person’s eye. Unless you’re perfect—and only one perfect person has ever walked this earth—I suspect we’re all in the same boat.

“We love because He first loved us. If anyone says I love God, yet he hates his brother or sister he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother and sister, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: whoever loves God, must also love his brother and sister.” 1 John 4: 19-21

What happens if we do not love our neighbors as ourselves? Galatians 6:15 declares, “If you keep biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” Wow! Strong words, indeed.

It may be a tough pill to swallow, but we’re all brothers and sisters in God’s eyes. We are His family. We need to start acting like it. ~OC

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Life with Friends

Today’s a new day!

“This is my commandment: that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.” – John 15:12-13

The words from this gospel of John make me realize how blessed the bond of friendship are. However, I wonder how often we recognize how the love shared between friends reflects the love that God shares between each individual person. Additionally, I wonder if each of us realizes how difficult friendship can be.

It’s interesting to see that the gospels do not always paint a flattering picture of the friendship between Christ and his apostles. The Gospel of Mark consistently depicts Jesus struggling with the apostles, who fail to comprehend his message. In chapter 6 of Mark, Jesus calls these twelve men together to follow in his example of teaching God’s reign in the surrounding villages and gives them power over unclean spirits (6:6-7). However, Mark also writes that the apostles were unable to understand Jesus’ great power demonstrated in the miracle of feeding of the five thousand because “their hearts were hardened” (6:52). Additionally, the gospels of Matthew and Luke also depict the rocky and challenging moments in Jesus’ friendship with the apostles. Jesus chides Peter for trying to prevent Him from traveling to Jerusalem to enter into his Passion, saying, “get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block for me…” (Matthew 16:23). Finally, Luke shows that Jesus is exasperated with the disciples even after his Resurrection, when he calls Cleopas and the other disciple walking on the road to Emmaus “foolish” and “slow of heart” for failing to understand the meaning of His suffering and death, predicted first by the prophets (Luke 24:25).

How often do we find ourselves angry or frustrated at our friends because we want them to understand us in our words and actions? These brief scripture passages illustrate that sense of frustration. The Son of God enters into a world that struggles to recognize God at all, let alone when God is immanently present in the person of Jesus. Yet God loves this world so much that God freely gives God’s self to us in friendship through Jesus, despite the risk of being misunderstood, mistreated, and maligned. That is the blessing, and the risk, of friendship. We give ourselves in vulnerability to one another without knowing whether or not we will be loved and accepted as who we are.

However, friendship highlights our own vulnerabilities within ourselves and reveals our inherent desire for one another. My friends and I are not always laughing and joking; we meet each other in our brokenness and reach out for each other in our tears. They challenge me to consider new perspectives that de-center me from my own perspectives. Sometimes we get frustrated and do not understand each other. But our friendships exude love for one another because we recognize how incredible it is to simply find someone else. When we discover one another in truth and love through friendship, we choose to give of ourselves to that person.

Which leads me back to the quote from John above. I believe what Christ is trying to tell us is that friendship is the unspoken commitment of two people who recognize each other’s vulnerable, imperfect humanity and choose to love anyway. Jesus commands us to love each other as he loved us because he continued loving the world amidst rejection, sin, and death. He laid down his life to show us that the bond of friendship is at its strongest when we pour ourselves out to another. When we give of ourselves to each other, we glimpse into the eternal love that Christ promises us through his life, ministry, death, and resurrection.

This understanding of friendship creates friends who, like Jesus and the apostles, are unafraid to continue loving and challenging us. These friends will always reach out to us in our happiness and our sadness. These types of friends will always be there to take us down from our cross and lay us to rest, and wait for us to rise to new life, even if they don’t always believe it’s going to happen. And these friends will continue to believe in us, long after we have moved on from this world. ~OC

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Today in History

Sixty-one years ago today, Birmingham’s 16th Street Baptist Church was bombed, claiming the lives of four young girls. We can never forget how hate destroys. We must always remember to love and respect others. ~OC
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Sunday Hope

Today’s a new day! Living by faith and hope in the midst of a storm is hard.  There are real losses to be grieved. It’s appropriate to feel sadness, grief, and fear.

The question is, “What next?”

Jesus sits with you, lifts your head, and calls us to live with hope. Not because of our strength or ability, but because of his strength and love for us.

What is Hope?

Hope is “a feeling of trust, desire, and expectation for a certain thing to happen.”

Being trapped on a boat in the midst of a hurricane-like storm had to feel incredibly scary to the disciples. So much so, that it would seem natural to forget who was in the boat with them.

But What If I Don’t Feel Hopeful?

Sometimes we need to be reminded that what we feel isn’t ultimate. You may be on the mat in the ring, bloodied and bruised, but you are not crushed or destroyed, my friend. You may not be able to see ten minutes ahead of you in this storm, but you need not despair. You may be feeling frustration and opposition from every part of your life right now, but you are not abandoned.

Paul anchors our particular hope later in 2 Corinthians 4; he points us beyond our momentary feelings to ultimate reality.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

The dominant, momentary scripts for many are either:

  1. That what you feel is true for you personally is what is most true.
    1. What is most true is what you can see, experience, or measure in this material world; there is nothing beyond that.

But Paul, Jesus, and a Biblical view of God show that those scripts are not only too small but insufficient in the midst of crisis. They aren’t enough.

What is most true is that what you are experiencing now is but a shadow in light of the eternal glory that lays ahead of you. Take all that fear and anxiety that feels relentless; and see that the shoulders of Jesus are big enough to carry those burdens for you. What is most true is that Jesus stands not just with you but ahead of you; his love for you, the love that you know in part now, you will know in inestimable fullness one day.

You cannot always change your circumstances. But what you can do is decide what to do, right now, with the time given to you.

May God help you, help us, to live with a resilient hope in the Gospel of Jesus. Our God is the Lord of the storm, and he is with us. ~OC

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Waiting…..

Waiting. For most of us, waiting is not one of our favorite things. What do you do when life finds you in a state of waiting? When all we can do is wait. Waiting on test results. Waiting on a relationship to be restored. Waiting for a breakthrough. Waiting for a sign from God that it will not always be like this… waiting can be taxing, discouraging and deflating. Waiting can cause us to question our faith. To question God.

But what if waiting is the season God is using to grow us? That there is purpose behind the waiting. God wants us whole and He wants us free, and He will often take us on a journey of discovery before we get to the fulfillment of what we hope for. God has your back and He wants what is best for you. God is for you and will not forsake you, even in the middle of your biggest storm. Even during the waiting. ~OC

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Loving Your Bride

Today’s a new day! Some days, you make decisions that change the trajectory of the rest of your life.

On a January morning in 1999, I decided to attend something I had never attended before. A singles event hosted by my church. I have never been a fan of single events. That is another blog post for another day. But that beautiful morning in Palm Beach, FL, I would meet a young lady that would change my life forever. That was the day I met my future bride Laura.

Last week we celebrated our twenty-five wedding anniversary. As I have walked through this beautiful journey called marriage, I have learned a few lessons about marriage. Obviously, these lessons come from my experience has a husband.

As I have looked through scriptures over the years, looking for ways that Jesus loves the church, ways that he calls me to echo his love for me in my love for my bride, I have found several great lessons, but I will only share ten of them. God calls you, as a husband, to love your wife like Jesus loves her. I hope you will reflect and pray over the following lessons.

1). Stubborn Love:
Jesus won’t ever leave his bride. He says to her, “Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). His love for your bride is based not on her performance but on his covenant love for her. When we keep our marriage covenants through all of the challenges and changes over years of married life, we reflect his kind of stubborn, delight-filled love. May our brides know the comfort of love that says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). As everyone knows, Laura and I have had our challenges with my health.

2)Hopeful Love:
When Jesus looks at your bride, he sees her as already sanctified. This hope is anchored in the power and promise of the gospel. Paul writes to believers, “You were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11; italics mine). In fact, he sees her not only as already sanctified but as already glorified (Romans 8:30). How often would your bride say that your love for her “hopes all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7)? By keeping eternity in mind, you can have patience with your bride, just as Jesus does with her—and you.

3). Pursuing Love:
Jesus never takes a break from pursuing our bride’s heart, not romantically but persistently. In fact, he cares not only about her devotion but also her affection (Psalm 37:4). He is the tireless Shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to seek after the one (Luke 15:4–7). In a similar way, God is glorified when a husband continually seeks a deeper relationship with his bride. A husband who has been captured by Jesus’s love is an incurable romantic toward his bride.

4). Forgiving Love:
Jesus gives our bride’s grace when they do not deserve it. It may be that the most Christlike thing you can do is offer your bride forgiveness on a daily basis, remembering that you too are in need of forgiveness. The picture of forgiving love that every husband should seek to emulate is Jesus making breakfast for Peter who had sinned against him, denying him three times at his crucifixion (John 21:12–15). Is it you or your bride who is usually the first to begin to move toward reconciliation when it’s needed?

5) Joyful Love:
Jesus doesn’t just put up with your bride or grudgingly, but persistently love her—Jesus loves to love her. He delights to be with his bride. He receives joy by giving us joy (Hebrews 12:2). Wives who are loved this deeply, who know their husbands love to love them, are often an even greater blessing to others. Love your bride so joyfully that it’s obvious to her and others.

6).Serving Love
Jesus served her in life and death. There is nothing and I mean nothing, that God can call you to do for your bride that would be too much! Jesus “gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Many husbands think of themselves as kings to be served, but you and I are called by God to be the chief servants in our homes. The way to Christlikeness in our marriages is through joining Jesus in taking up the towel and the basin (John 13:12–17).

7). Sanctifying Love:
Jesus loves your bride by helping her to grow in holiness and by being her advocate before the Father (1 John 2:1). Do you encourage your bride to go to Bible study, even if it means you have to care for the kids by yourself or cook dinner for yourself? Do you regularly bring your bride before the Father in prayer? Work hard to help your bride blossom spiritually.

8). Leading Love:
Jesus leads us to what is good for us. Jesus not only loves your bride with a leading rather than a passive love, but he also leads her toward what is good (Psalm 23:2). It is impossible to lead our brides spiritually if we ourselves are not being led by God through the Word and prayer. One way you can lead her well is by seeking her input and then making big decisions (and accepting the consequences), rather than allowing the decisions and consequences to fall to her.

9). Providing Love:
Jesus provides your bride with all that she needs. Do you notice your bride’s needs, even beyond physical provision, and do something about it? Christ nourishes her, providing an environment for growth and flourishing. The apostle Paul explains to us that “in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:28). It made a marked difference in my marriage when I realized that it was my responsibility to do what I could to fill my wife’s sails

10). Knowing Love:
Jesus knows your bride better than she knows herself. He has an informed love for her. He knows her strengths and her weaknesses, and he acts on her behalf (Ephesians 5:29–30). While we will never know our bride’s like God knows them, he wants us to know them as well as we can. Our prayers for them will always be hindered if we fail to know them (1 Peter 3:7). Our bride’s know they are cherished when we make an effort to really know them.

My Brothers, we have an enemy, that ancient serpent, who desires to squirm his way into our homes and cause havoc. But praise God, we know the snake crusher, Jesus, who has already defeated him and loved us with a supernatural love. Know that when you love your bride like Jesus loves her, the foundation of your marriage is strengthened, Satan is defeated again, and Christ is lifted up for more to see. Keep loving and honoring your bride. ~OC

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Conspiracy Theories

Today’s a new day! I really wish those Christian’s who are spending so much time posting conspiracy theories and lies on social media and elsewhere, would spend that much time feeding the homeless, visiting the sick and taking care of the less fortunate. What a real difference that would make. ~OC

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Political Differences

Today’s a new day! I have shared on numerous occasions, I am mostly an issues over candidate voter. Which means I have voted for Republicans, Democrats and Independents. In the past when I would mention that to others it really was not a big deal with most people. Some might agree while others would not. But usually it was never a huge issue. Over the last few years that has changed. Drastically. Let me explain.

When I talk with my Democrat friends and mention that I voted for a Republican candidate, we discuss why I made that decision. They may disagree with me, but there has never been any judgment. Just an agree to disagree respectful discussion.

Sadly, that has not been my experience with some of my Republican friends when I have mentioned I voted for a Democrat. Well, let me be more specific. When I mention that I do not support and have never supported former President Trump, here are the following statements I have heard from a good number of my Trump supporting friends:

*You must not love America.

*You must be a snowflake.

*You must have been brainwashed.

*You must be listening to fake news.

*Maybe that’s why you’re sick.

*Maybe that’s why you lost your miracle.

*You might not be a Christian.

*I cannot be your friend.

I would love to tell you that I was joking and making all of this up, but sadly I have experienced all of the above comments on numerous occasions. I am not mad at those people (obviously they’re not real friends), that have made those comments. Unfortunately, they have made the choice to put their political beliefs over friendship. I will not question their faith because that’s not my job.

Even with all the negativity I have faced with being out spoken about my political views, it will not stop me from continuing to speak out and share my opinions. Did you catch that? My own personal opinions and beliefs. Which we all should be able to freely express.

Let me finish this by saying, I am thankful for those real friends on both sides of the political aisle that have been respectful in discussing our political differences. ~OC

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Remembering 9/11: A Collection of Stories

Today’s a new day! This morning as I reflect back on Tuesday September 11, 2001, many thoughts come flushing in. I literally could write a book about that day that changed America in so many ways. But instead of writing another book, I thought I would share a collection of stories about that day that America stood still.

On this 23rd anniversary of 9/11, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when the two planes crashed into the twin towers of the World Trade Center, another one into the Pentagon and a plane of heroes crashed in Pennsylvania. I watched the events unfold on a TV at work with my co-workers at a secure building close to Palm Beach International Airport in West Palm Beach, Florida. I immediately called family and friends to make sure everyone was okay. I remember thinking how surreal it was, “Is this truly happening?” while watching the twin towers collapse. In that moment I thought America had lost its infallibility. Since that day 23 years ago, I don’t think that either our worst fears or our highest hopes have been realized. But the memory of that day serves as a constant reminder that we cannot take anything for granted. Life is to be cherished. We honor those we love. We honor those we have lost. We need to embrace every moment. We can Never Forget. ~OC

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The Talk

Today’s a new day! As most of you know, Laura and I do not have any children. But we have been blessed with some amazing god-children and have both worked with young people most of our careers. I wanted to share that before writing the following.

Over the years, I have been blessed with friends of all colors and backgrounds. I know my African-American friends have different talks with their children. Every African-American parent I know at some point, has had to have “the talk,” the proverbial sit-down where they engage their children in a serious discussion about how African-Americans are treated by police. They explain how to converse with police, how to make eye contact, how or when to show respect, how, when necessary, they must sometimes genuflect to unjust authority in order to protect themselves.

Inevitably, it’s not just one talk. Circumstances force African-American parents to have a series of conversations throughout their children’s lives, because racism is a constant presence.

In light of yesterday’s incident with Miami Dolphin’s wide receiver Tyreek Hill being pulled over, handcuffed and placed face down on the ground, I know a lot of African-American parents once again had “the talk” with their children.

In the face of almost daily occurrences of racial violence against African-Americans, sadly there cannot just be one talk about how young people should conduct themselves when interacting with police. As a community we must teach our children, god children, nieces and nephews every day to help them navigate the communities they live in. We should all be talking to students and young people about racism in America. And not just when there is another racially motivated incident. Having healthy conversations about racism is the only way we will ever experience any type of racial healing in America.

Early on, children are taught not to play with electrical outlets and to be careful near a hot stove. Hopefully they are taught to say please and thank you, and to be nice and share. Just as organically as parents teach their children to look both ways when crossing the street, we should be giving them regular, developmentally appropriate lessons about race and racism. As we’ve seen, over and over a bad run-in with a police officer can be as fatal as a car accident. Failing to have these conversations can put young people, especially young African-American men in great danger.

Please do not be under the false illusion that avoiding these conversations will shield your child from the horrors of racism; they will absorb this information somehow. And if we ignore it, that’s the lesson they’ll learn from us.

I know these conversations can be heart-breaking as they are necessary, especially when they touch a child’s life directly.

Over the years, Laura and I have tried our best to become more knowledgeable about the racial issues from America’s past and present. We have taken time to have real and difficult conversations about race with our African-American friends. We have chosen during those conversations to listen more and talk less. Laura and I have taken the time to read and study the history of America. All of its history. We continuously encourage our family and friends of every color and background to study the complete history of America.

My prayer is that we would never see another African-American be pulled over by a police officer just because of the color of their skin. But sadly, that’s the world we live in. So parents, family members and friends, make sure you’re having “The Talk” with your children. Regardless of color. ~OC

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