My Why

Good Morning! Here is another “Lost Writings from OC.” This was written in 2020.

Today’s a new day! Writing has been part of my crazy beautiful health journey. Writing has allowed me to see life in a different way and experience healing in many parts of my life. Writing has allowed me to experience the following:

God has put me on this earth to love and serve others. To encourage others. To hopefully inspire people to think about their own life journey.

God created me to truly experience life. To embrace the good…and bad moments of this journey. I am here to learn. Just a little advice, we should never stop learning.

I am here to overcome my physical limitations. I am here to transform inspiration into action.

I believe in living a peaceful life. Peace within myself. Peace with those I have disagreements with.

I no longer expect or demand to be understood. I understand myself. Most importantly, God understands me and still chooses to love me.

I am not alone when I connect with God and the amazing people He has put in my life. Those relationships fuel me.

I ache and grieve alongside the pain and suffering of others. I empathize with those who suffer.

I seek to overcome suffering by finding its meaning, purpose and lessons.

I no longer force my beliefs on others. I choose to show respect to those with different views, opinions and beliefs.

I choose not to be selfish. I love sharing and helping others. Serving others helps me experience God’s love in a meaningful and real way.

I choose to let God write my story, even though there are times I want to steal the pen.

I choose to be awake. To be present. I am called. I feel God’s presence within me. I can truly be me because He lives in me. ~OC

Hope in the Storm

Good Morning! Here is another “Lost Writings from OC.” I wrote this back in March 2019 while in the hospital.

Today’s a new day! As I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have found there is hope in the middle of my battle. I do not say this lightly, as this health journey has taken a lot from me physically. But, as I continue to walk through this battle, I have felt the presence of God and He continues to remind me that He always gives beauty for ashes. 


Beauty for ashes can look like oil of joy instead of mourning, a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair, and a closer relationship with Him. God’s love fulfills our every need, not only in the natural but also in the eternal.

I want to share some Bible verses that have helped me as I continue to walk through this season of health issues.

“Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy! I look to you for protection. I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until the danger passes by.”~Psalms 57:1

I pray that you see it’s God’s mercy that has you here. I do not know what your storm looks like, maybe it looks a bit disheveled or completely unrecognizable. Whatever the case might be, God is a permanent safe place; His refuge isn’t one that collapses or gets overwhelmed by a storm surge. No, it is filled with great peace that surpasses all of our understanding. God is where we can place all of our trust.

“The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights. ~Habakkuk 3:19

As I studied this scripture from the Old Testament, this is what I learned. A hind is a deer that can place its feet exactly where its front feet stepped, not missing an inch. A hind lives in mountainous regions and can run the terrain without fear. They are truly free even when crossing difficult paths along the way. I believe this verse is saying that God does the same with us. In His great sovereignty, God reshapes our feet to fit the mountain we are climbing. I pray it brings you some strength as you walk through your own storm.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”~Romans 15:13

I pray as you walk through a season of storms, you will see God as your hope. Hope that devastates all brokenness and holds us through what we couldn’t imagine through the heartache. We can always call on our Heavenly Father, who gives us great joy and peace that stands in the face of everything we might be going through right now.

“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”” ~Joshua 1:9

This verse sounds like a bold ask when in reality it’s a bold invitation. Be strong and courageous because the Lord is with us because He has never left and intends to go before us wherever we go. What a great promise from God who led Joshua and the Israelites into the Promise Land. That same God lives today and is there for you and I. So take heart, for God has overcome the world.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” ~2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I pray that this verse finds you on both sides. Some of you have found yourselves in great need of comfort from our Father of compassion. Others have been comforted and are searching for ways to do the same for those in trouble and currently dealing with the storms of life. I want to lift up the first of you who were so blindsided by all the damage done and be expectant on how God will use His people to give you a helping hand and abundant love to get you through. For those that fall into the latter, I pray that God will give you healing hands as you go out into your community and renew your strength daily to not grow weary in doing good.

I know this post was a little long, but I hope it brings you some peace and comfort if you’re currently walking through a tough season of life or just coming out of a trying time. God Bless ~OC

Dear Friend,

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings of OC.” This was written in 2019. Sorry it’s a little long. ~OC

Dear Friends,

Several people have reached out to me who are dealing with their own crazy beautiful health journey. So I thought I would share some words that will hopefully bring some encouragement. In the last couple of weeks, my doctors have shared I probably only have months to live. I say this to you, not to discourage you, but to let you know that I am in the trenches with you. These words don’t come from distant memories but from present realities.

The following is a “Battle Plan” of how I am walking through this battle.

1. Recognizing that most of our battles are waged in the mind, I chose to focus on God who is all-powerful and compassionate. The Bible tells us that God’s Name is El Elyon, God Most High, and that nothing can come into our lives that is not first filtered through the fingers of God’s love. God knew before the foundation of the world that we would face different challenges in life and has already provided the resources we need to face them. God’s plan for us in every trial of every size is that we experience victory, never defeat.

2. I chose to view this illness as a gift. Granted, it’s like expecting a new ten-speed bike for Christmas and getting socks, but it is a gift. It is a time to draw near to God, to experience God more fully, to enjoy the simple joys of life, to focus on those things that are truly important. I will thank God every day for this particular gift of health issues.

3. Although my health issues wants to be an all-consuming issue in my life, I refuse to sink within myself. I will reach out to someone else each day with a text, phone call, word of encouragement, act of service or prayer.

4. I will not ignore my emotions (which are currently like a roller coaster on steroids) I will allow myself to experience all the emotions this health journey brings my way, but I will NOT be ruled by them.

5. I will share what is happening to me with others and enlist their support and prayers. I cannot do this alone, and I will not rob others of the blessing they can receive in ministering to me.

6. I will make both short-term and long-term goals in order to have something in the future to look forward to. For example, I plan on continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride through trips and other amazing adventures.

7. I will find some reason to laugh every day.

8. I will remind myself that, in some inexplicable way, the manner in which I conduct myself during this time of struggle does, indeed, impact the spiritual world. The book of Job tells us that humans sometimes get caught up in a cosmic battle between God and Satan, and my actions are key to that struggle. (Jesus Himself told His disciples upon their completion of a missionary journey that God had seen Satan fall from heaven as a result of their actions).

9. I will endeavor to keep my life as “normal” as possible. I will continue my every-day activities and responsibilities as long as I am physically able. This will afford me the comfort of the predictable and common aspects of life as well as helping me not to slide into introspection and self-pity.

Dear friend, who is walking through your own battle, I am praying for you. I am asking that you will be “sincere and blameless” (Philippians 1:10). The word “sincere” is a Greek word that grew out of a poor practice in the marketplace of the day. Everyone in the culture used pottery for many tasks like we use plastic today. It was important that the pots be well made. Most were, but there were some unscrupulous pottery makers who would find a pot with cracks in it. Rather than discarding it, they would fill the crack with wax to cover it up. This would work as long as the pot sold early in the day. But after a longer time of sitting out in the hot Middle Eastern sun, the wax would melt and the cracks would show. Paul prayed that the Philippians would avoid this by being sincere or “sun-tested.” May you, as you face the heat and pressures of this time, find yourself to be, by His grace, without wax.

Peace and Wisdom

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I have chosen to live with eternal perspective. This “Lost Writings of OC” was written in March 2023.

During my health journey, I have found peace and wisdom in the Psalms.  In them the steadfast love of God for His people is expressed during great trouble as well as great blessing. When our hearts begin to grasp the character of God as revealed in His Word, our faith and trust in His ways digs deeper into our souls. The benefits and delights of knowing and obeying God’s Word is the theme of Psalm 119. Here are a few “treasures” found in verses 68-93:

“You are good and do good… it is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes… Your hands have made and fashioned me… Those who fear you shall see me and rejoice, because I have hoped in your word… I know, O LORD [Yahweh, God’s personal name], that your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me… let your mercy come to me, that I may live; for your law is my delight… In your steadfast love give me life, that I may keep the testimonies of your mouth… you have established the earth, and it stands fast. By your appointment they stand this day, for all things are your servants.”

As is God’s promise, my meditation upon these words brought instruction and great delight to my soul. I jotted down some observations in my journal:

God is good and His deeds are good. His hands have fashioned everything in my life. Here are some lessons learned during this health journey:

•Learn His statutes (teach me His ways)

•Place my hope firmly in Him, causing believers to rejoice

•Recognize His righteousness in me

•Confirm His faithfulness to me

•Reveal His mercy to me

•Invoke in me a vibrant delight in His word

•Use my life to keep His testimonies

Everything in creation has been established by God and is being sustained by God. All things are subject to God’s purpose and will. “All things are God’s servants.”

The benefit and delight I received from these verses is profound:

My health journey is God’s servant in my life. He is using it in ways He has revealed to me in these verses and in many more I have yet to understand. I can rest knowing that my health battle is under the control of God who is good and does good. ~OC

New Perspective

Today’s a new day! This crazy beautiful health journey, has opened my eyes to seeing the amazing, ordinary, everyday gifts of life. As my body continues to waste away, inwardly I am being renewed day by day. Experiencing life with new eyes. With a new perspective. ~OC

Peace

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, there are more questions than answers. No promises that things will get easier or better, but I am still filled with a peace that passes all understanding. ~OC

A Friday Prayer

A Morning Prayer. ~OC

Dear God, I pray that you would give us the boldness to speak out against hate, especially when we see it in our churches, communities and homes.

Dear God, I pray that you would give us the humility to admit where we have chosen the way of the world over the path of Christ.

Dear God, I pray that you would encourage us to step away from behind the glowing shield of our screens to have real conversations in which we look into the eyes of another, witnessing the image of God that dwells within them.

Dear God, I pray that you would remind us that time is a precious gift that should not be wasted on things that divide us, but instead we would use the gift of time to encourage and build people up. To be our neighbors biggest cheerleader instead of their judge and jury.

Dear God, I pray you would teach us to live with a heart of service. Teach us to live with less so that everyone has enough.

Dear God, I pray you will move in your Church. I want her to thrive. I pray 2025 will be a year of repentance and revival for the American church.

Today, I pray you will join me in lifting up these prayers? Amen

That’s What Friends Are For

Based on my earlier post, several people reached out to see what they could do or what I might need. As I continue to move through this new phase of dementia, there are plenty of tools and games to try and keep my mind sharp. Some of them help and some are still in the testing phase. The one thing that has proven to help, is visits and phone calls from friends. So when people asked me how they can help, I encourage them to call or visit. So I will leave the ball in your court on how you choose to respond to this post. Please know I am always praying for you. I pray everyone has a beautiful weekend. ~OC

Welcome to February 2025

Welcome to February 2025! Several people have inquired about my health the past few days, so here is a quick update.

My body continues to slow down. I am sleeping the majority of the day the last few months. The doctors believe based on some recent infections, my neurological issues have gotten much worse. Harder for me to get around these days. This past Monday, doctors believe I had a small TIA (mini stroke). Thankfully I was not hospitalized. Sadly, my dementia is further along than first thought. Of course that could have been caused by the multiple infections and procedures I had towards the end of last year. The doctors have decided with the complex headaches and further risk for a stroke, that it’s not a good idea for me to be driving. I must agree. So this past Monday, we sold one of our cars and are happy with the one car we have.

I do not look at this as a sad time in my journey. I choose to look at all the amazing opportunities that are still in front of me. So I will continue to wake up every morning with gratitude in my heart and give God thanks for another day of life. Physically and Mentally, life is much harder these days, but honestly I would not trade my life and all of the beautiful moments I have experienced and will continue to experience. Laura and I are at peace.

My prayer for each of you, is that you will embrace every moment of everyday and find some sunshine among the clouds. ~OC

Life with Myasthenia Gravis

Good Morning! More writings from the “Lost Writings of OC.” I thought I would share a little bit about my Myasthenia Gravis (MG) experience with you today. I originally wrote this in 2024 and updated it several weeks ago. As I share this with you, my MG is getting much worse.

Today’s a new day! Myasthenia Gravis (MG) is an autoimmune disease that causes muscle weakness. But what exactly does muscle weakness feel like? To understand more, let me walk you through a typical day with MG.

For me it feels like I’ve run out power. In general, I feel it’s a huge effort to move when I’m very weak. When my legs are weak, they feel heavy and unsteady. I feel like I cannot move them or trust them to hold me up. The weaker I get, the closer and closer my steps get to each other, until I have to stop and lean against something or just sit down.

Also, I get pain in my hip flexors – basically my butt. It’s the same kind of pain you get from overdoing a workout: an achy soreness that feels like you have overused the muscles. These days, I deal with hip pain on a constant basis.

When my shoulders are weak, which is most of the time lately, I feel like I just cannot lift my arms. Like there are heavy weights holding them down.

My neck continues to get weaker. I just cannot hold my head up. It falls to the side or down, or I have to prop it up with my hand on my chin and my elbow on a table, or with a U-shaped neck pillow and a high-backed chair. As my neck weakens, I develop achy pain in my upper back from trying to hold my head up. I sometimes get a nauseating gagging sensation from my throat collapsing.

Eating with MG can be a challenge from having to take breaks while eating, to choking on solids and fluids. Sitting down to eat or drink is a major undertaking. I also start to slur my speech, and I get short of breath from minor exertion, or sometimes just sitting still.

I always have muscle weakness, but it gets more severe with heat, exertion, lack of sleep, infections, or other stressors. Summertime can be very challenging. Extreme cold is not my friend either.

Based on my weakened lung muscles, I am unable to take deep breaths. This causes issues on so many different levels. These days, every breath is a struggle.

I have to stay on top of my medications for the Myasthenia Gravis. I have to take one of those medications four times a day. Oh, I better not miss those dosages or things can go down hill pretty quickly.

I try to dress in cool fabrics and wear layers in winter. And I try to protect myself from sickness by keeping my vaccines up to date, wearing a mask when needed , and using hand sanitizer or washing my hands frequently when I am out of the house. I tend to fist bump and avoid shaking hands or hugging.

You know how much I love to walk, but that is getting harder these days. I have added a walking stick to help with my balance. This is a far cry from my marathon days

My medical team continuously tells me I am a one in two billion case with all of the multiple diagnosis. With Myasthenia Gravis, I fall into a small group of people being diagnosed with MG after having their thymus removed. My cancerous thymus was removed in 2003, but I was not diagnosed with MG until 2009. I will not go into what the thymus does, but feel free to research on your own.

How friends loved ones can help

One thing my friends and family do for me that’s immensely helpful is helping to educate themselves on Myasthenia Gravis so they can explain it to others and better understand my daily challenges.

I only have a few people besides my bride, who truly know me and my MG that well, but they are lifesavers. They’re also the ones I’ll talk candidly to when my MG gets me down. I cannot be relentlessly cheerful all the time, but I try.

I hope this gives you a better understanding of what Myasthenia Gravis looks like and how it affects my life on a daily basis. Each day is a struggle, but I continue to push forward and look at all the positives in my life. I encourage you to do the same. Go have a great day! ~OC

Dear God, Sometimes the pain is so great, I cannot think beyond my current struggle. On hard days, please ease my pain and help me focus on Your goodness one day, one hour, one moment at a time. Let Your overwhelming peace wash over me and remind me Your mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). There are days when I beg you to take the pain away. Days I just don’t have the strength. In those desperate times, I ask for Your unending strength to sustain me. I cannot do it alone, but with You all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). Amen

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