Singing Hallelujah

Today’s a new day! As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for over 22 years, I’ve had a lot of time to think about the journey. These thoughts have been like a blueprint for my journey. A journey that is radically different to the one I envisioned 22 years ago.

When I received my first diagnosis back in 2002, I was told after the shock of the diagnosis I would deal with anger and depression. Those well meaning health professionals were wrong. As crazy as it may sound, I feel like this health journey is quite possibly one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Yes, the journey has not been easy. All the surgeries, treatments and hospital stays have not always been pleasant. It’s not the blueprint I would have written for my life. But it has made me really re-evaluate a lot of the things I once held close. It’s made me appreciate my family and friends so much more and realize that possessions mean nothing when you’re faced with the real possibility of dying. Most importantly, it has made me so very aware that the God I believe in and serve is so much bigger and so much closer to me than I ever could have imagined.

Throughout history God has had many names, one of them being Immanuel, meaning ‘God with us’. I have never known that to be more true than I have the last 22 years and counting. Sometimes I wonder why I was chosen to walk this journey. But then God blesses me with a beautiful interruption and I am reminded that God has a purpose for my journey.

I know that God’s ways are higher than my own and there has been immense good that has come from this crazy beautiful health journey. God has used my health journey to bring me and others closer to Him. To bring encouragement.

As I walk through this journey, woven into the fabric of my life has been an understanding of what it means to suffer, and from that understanding has flown love, compassion and mercy.

During this journey, I have continuously leaned on Psalm 139:15-16, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 and Hebrews 13:5. I will let you research those scriptures on your own. While this health journey and everything that has come with it may seem chaotic, I know there is purpose in this crazy beautiful journey. Not my purpose, but the purpose of a God who holds the universe in His hands… who knew me from the moment I was conceived in the womb…. who has walked beside me every day of my life. I may not understand everything that has happened along this journey and maybe on this side of Heaven I never will, but I know that whatever happens, God is in control and he has promised he will never leave me or forsake me.

I don’t know about you, but that gives me a tremendous amount of confidence that everything is going to be alright.

Because of God’s goodness I will sing Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Singing Hallelujah because I am living a blessed life. Singing Hallelujah because my bride who loves me and is standing strong with me on this journey. Singing Hallelujah because I have amazing family and friends who continue to stand with Laura and I during this unending journey. Singing Hallelujah because God walks beside me and fights the battle for me. He commands his angels concerning me and they guard me. God is my fortress, my hiding place while the battle rages around me. He stands between me and my health issues that would seek to take my life and says to the sickness “no further… you will not harm him”.

Singing Hallelujah because I am still alive…. and hopefully will be for many years to come.

There are so many reasons to sing Hallelujah…. so many…. and as long as I have a heartbeat you will hear my Hallelujah.

Whatever you see in me that you think is good comes from Heaven.

It’s not my doing…. it’s His. ~OC

Take Heart

Today’s a new day! One of my favorite verses is “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33.

What does that verse really mean? One of the biggest lies many Christians are told when they start following God is everything will be perfect and they will never deal with the storms of life. That if God is on our side, nothing can go wrong, and all it takes is a quick prayer to get us out of a sticky situtation. Just like a sitcom on tv. All is good in 30 minutes. But we live in reality and we know that’s far from the truth.

Nowhere in the Bible are we promised a perfect life on earth. Life will be filled with struggles. We will all experience challenges along our journey. Those challenges will look different for each of us. Some will deal with health issues. Sometimes those health challenges will last a lifetime.

The point is that even though we all experience challenges in this journey called life, Jesus has overcome the world. As I mentioned earlier, we will encounter painful moments in this world, but there is a world beyond this world. A place called Heaven, where we will experience peace and wholeness. A place where there is no pain, disease, war, hatred or confusion. Heaven is paradise.

When I experience moments of hopelessness with my own health, I take a moment to think about God’s goodness and promises. I also take time to remember that I need God more today than I did yesterday. I may not understand everything going on in my crazy beautiful health journey, but God does. And for that I am thankful.

I am often asked why would God allow me to walk through so many years of suffering? Of course I do not have all the answers, but I have chosen to trust God in the mist of the storms. To look for every opportunity to help encourage everyone walking through their own challenges. I have decided not to spend all my precious moments researching Google looking for the latest medical or natural cures.

I’ve accepted that I will never fully understand every inner working of my body at any given moment. No one has it all figured out. Not even the medical world. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do everything in my power to pray and strive for better health. It just means I will not become consumed by my current health challenges. They are not my true identity.

Nothing gives me more peace and comfort than my relationship with God. Just like any personal relationship takes work and trust the same goes for our relationship with God. It’s a daily commitment. In life we so often stumble for answers. We jump from different diets, different relationships and different careers looking for the answer and looking for a way to make us feel good and worthy. There is nothing wrong with any of those things, but nothing will ever give us as much peace and purpose than a relationship with God and the knowledge that even though the storms of life can be hard, He has already overcome the world.

I know this was a long post, but I pray it brings you hope as you walk through the ups and downs of life. Blessings to all. ~OC

Grateful

Today’s a new day! I’m grateful this morning for another day to breathe, to think and make more memories with my bride, friends and family.

I’m grateful for my cup of ice tea and a cool breeze on our balcony.

I am grateful for the anticipation of this new day.

I am grateful to be living in peace.

I’m grateful to still be alive, now, in this place and at this time.  I’m ever-thankful for the extra time God has given me.

I am grateful for the freedom to write in my hometown and to write whatever, however, whenever I please.

I am grateful for the amazing people God has brought my way on this crazy beautiful health journey. Thankful to have met so many creative and loving people over the past twenty-two years.

I am grateful for the friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin.

I am thankful that my gratitude stretches around the world with all the people who have walked this journey with me through this blog and my other social media pages.

I am grateful to live in love, hope and peace and cherish this day that the Lord has given me. ~OC

Thankfulness While Grieving

Today’s a new day! Today is also Thanksgiving Day. I have many things to be thankful for, but I am also grieving the death of a loved one. This has been a hard week.

It can be difficult to be thankful when you’re in a season of grieving. When you experience the loss of a loved one you begin to wonder if you will ever feel happy again. It is hard to be thankful when you are hurting. The Bible is not silent on the issue of suffering. The Bible is full of scriptures and stories about suffering.

Giving thanks to God during times of grief is difficult, but not impossible. In fact, it is one of the best ways of progressing towards hope while you are grieving. How can you be thankful during times of grief? I believe Remembering , Reflecting , and Rejoicing can guide us through a season of loss and grief.

First, take time to remember. Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. Do not doubt in the darkness what you have clearly seen in the light. One of the results of the grieving process is that our minds become absorbed with that one thing. It is so important that you force yourself to remember key foundational truths about God. Remember that He loves you. Remember that He is in control. Remember that He is always working good; even in the bad circumstances. While grieving, you may not want to hear someone quote Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” But, remember that it is true. 

Second, take time to reflect. Reflect on your current situation, but do not dwell on it. What’s the difference between reflecting and dwelling? Think of it like a house. When you dwell in a house you live in it. Dwelling on the cause of your grief is like going back to the situation and living there as you relive it over and over. When you reflect, you think deeply and carefully about something. Going back to the house illustration, rather than dwelling in the house, you sit outside the house and look in. Reflecting is different because it gives you time to grieve and realize that your life has changed and there will be a new reality moving forward.

Remember, there is no set timeframe for you to stop grieving. Please hear that. Grief has no timeline. In one sense, you will never stop grieving until you are given your new body and dwelling with God in Heaven. The purpose in grieving well is not to stop grieving, but to begin grieving with hope.

When we are grieving we are overwhelmed by our emotions. Our emotions are powerful and have great control over us, so we are told in the Bible to take control of them. We do this by guarding our heart. Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” The heart is the essence of who we are. It is more than just emotions. It is the command center of your life. It directs our emotions.

Through grief and mourning we must remember to guard our hearts.

Third, take time to rejoice. In the middle of your mourning, allow your heart and mind to remember some of the beautiful moments and memories. That can be difficult in the midst of a loss or a difficult season in life. But the fact that God has brought us this new day means that we can rejoice and be glad in it. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. This verse does not teach us that every circumstance is good, but that God is good. This is not always easy, but we must continue to lean into this truth.

So today take some time to Remember, Reflect, Rejoice

*Remember all the truths about God you have been taught and believe. 

*Reflect and give yourself time to grieve. Guard your heart so that you do not believe lies but trust God.

*Rejoice in the Lord who is powerfully and purposefully at work.

If you are grieving, trust God. Consider the story of Martha from John 11. Martha had just lost her brother and was grieving. When she saw Jesus she said to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21). Martha then said something very profound. Martha said, “But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You” (John 11:22). Martha serves as an example of a godly person hurting yet trusting. So today, allow God to help you give thanks in all circumstances on this Thanksgiving Day. ~OC

Shine God Shine

Today’s a new day!

Dear God, as we walk through this journey called life, let your light shine through us. Destroy all the darkness and negativity around us. Dear God, let the warmth of your light, the brightness of your love, the sweetness of your joy, the beauty of your hope shine through us. Dear God, let your light be our guide through the storms of life. Let your light brighten our path. Dear God, let your light shine through us everyday. Shine God Shine! ~OC

Not About Me

Today’s a new day! This crazy beautiful health journey is not about me. It’s not to show you how strong I am, for my strength comes from God. It’s not to show you how great my faith is, for my faith is a gift from God. And it’s not to show you how courageous I am, for my courage comes from God… exactly at the time I need it. Anything you see in me that is good is not of my doing… it’s from Heaven. ~OC

Game Plan

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I thought I would share my game plan with you. Hopefully you will find some takeaways to apply to your own journey.

1. Recognizing that so many of our battles are waged in the mind, I chose to focus on God who is all-powerful and compassionate. The Bible tells me that God’s Name is El Elyon, God Most High, and that nothing can come into my life that is not first filtered through the fingers of God’s love. God knew before the foundation of the world that I would be here in this moment dealing with multiple life threatening health issues and he already provided the resources I would need to face it. God’s plan for me in every trial of every size is that I experience peace and victory, never defeat.

2. I chose to view this journey as a gift. Granted, it’s like expecting the newest and hottest new toy for Christmas and getting a pair of socks, but it’s still a gift. This is the time to draw near to God, to experience God more fully, to enjoy the simple joys of life, to focus on those things that are truly important. I will thank God every day for the gift of my health journey.

3. Although my health battle wants to be an all-encompassing issue in my life, I refuse to sink within myself. I will continue to reach out to people each day with a text, word of encouragement, act of service or prayer.

4. I will not ignore my emotions, which can be all over the place. I will allow myself to reflect as necessary in order to express my feelings, but I will not be ruled by them.

5. I will share what is happening to me with others and enlist their support and prayers. I cannot run this journey alone, and I will not rob others of the blessing they can receive by running with me.

6. I will make both short-term and long-term goals in order to have something in the future to look forward to. For example, I plan on continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride. I will continue to share my journey on this blog. I will continue to learn and experience new things in life.

7. I will find a reason to laugh and make my bride laugh every day. Laura and I have used humor (sometimes dark) to get us through the toughest moments of this journey.

8. I will remind myself that, in some inexplicable way, the manner in which I conduct myself during this crazy beautiful health journey, does indeed impact the lives around me. The book of Job tells us that humans sometimes get caught up in the battle between God and the enemy. Jesus Himself told His disciples upon their completion of a missionary journey, that God had seen Satan fall from heaven as a result of their actions.

9. I will endeavor to keep my life as “normal” as possible. I will continue my every-day activities as long as I am physically and mentally able. This will afford me the comfort of the predictable and common aspects of life as well as helping me not to slide into introspection and self-pity.

10. I will continue to praise, serve and thank Jesus for every moment of this journey. It has not been an easy one, but it has been filled with amazing lessons, experiences and memories.

Dear friends, I am praying for you. I am asking that you will be “sincere and blameless” (Philippians 1:10). The word “sincere” is a Greek word that grew out of a poor practice in the marketplace of the day. Everyone in that day used pottery for many tasks like we use plastic today. It was important that the pots be well made. Most were, but there were some unscrupulous pottery makers who would find a pot with cracks in it. Rather than discarding it, they would fill the crack with wax to cover it up. This would work as long as the pot sold early in the day. But after a longer time of sitting out in the hot Middle Eastern sun, the wax would melt and the cracks would show. The Apostle Paul prayed that the Philippians would avoid this by being sincere or “sun-tested.” May you, as you face the heat and pressures of this world, find yourself to be, by His grace, without wax. Blessings. ~OC

Worthy

Today’s a new day!

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.. ~Romans 8:38-39

A lot of things can try and separate us from God. Not feeling good enough, the business of life, the upcoming election and a host of other distractions. But we have to remember that these thoughts and distractions are only temporary and we do not have to give into them. If we let them consume us, we will easily become overwhelmed. But we can choose to open our heart’s to God’s truth. That is, we are enough, just by being us. We are not our past, nor do we have to return to our past in order to be loved, accepted, etc. we are enough – right here, right now – because our identity is in God, not in our weaknesses, and certainly not in the things of this world.

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. ~John 8:32

I read a story where a group of students were asked how much they thought they were worth. “A million dollars,” some of them said. “Infinity plus infinity,” called out another. But the truth is, we are worth more than we can possibly comprehend. We are way more than a number. God loves us so much that He sent His only son to die for us so that we will not die but have everlasting life with Him in Heaven.

So, I am going to pose a challenge for everyone – myself included: When those thoughts of not being good enough rise within you and you feel like you’re drowning in their lies, seek God. Remember His truth – YOU ARE ENOUGH. You were created in His image (Genesis 1:27), and He loves you. You do not have to change what you look like to be loved, and you may as well stop trying to earn grace because it has already been given to you. Find strength in God, and know He is with you wherever you go.

Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident. ~Psalm 27:3

We can find confidence in God today. We can treat ourselves with love and self respect because we’re God’s beautiful masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). We can trust that we are enough. We can find peace, hope, love and confidence in God. I pray we will all lean into that truth today. ~OC

Embrace Your “Can’t”

Today’s a new day! I used to tell people that the word “Can’t” should never be uttered from their mouth. I used to use the popular phrases “Just Do It,” and “Sleep when you’re dead.” Yes, I was that guy.

In today’s world, we are pushed and even encouraged to take on more and more, and we are seen as weak or strange when we are unable, or do not want to do so.

For me, this mindset came from my passion for life. It was fueled by a deep craving to achieve everything in life. It’s what made me intense, driven, competitive, and hardworking. It was who I was. Until I wasn’t.

As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for 22 years, it took me some time to come to terms with my “can’t.” Early on in my health journey, I constantly pushed through truly excruciating symptoms, like level 10 pain, exhaustion from weeks of no sleep, and unrelenting crushing fatigue even when I did sleep. I pulled myself together through constant life-threatening health issues, and participated in physical activities that I had no business attempting with a smile on my face (like running multiple marathons with no training) – while inside my body, my mind, and my spirit were dying a slow and agonizing death. Yet I still didn’t listen.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? Because I believe I could have spared my body a lot of pain and damage, my mind a lot of anxiety, if I had just learned to accept, or even embraced my “can’t” earlier in my health journey. I would have also spared my bride from a lot of worrying.

I want to share a few lessons I have learned along the way. I hope you take the time to read and reflect on them.

1). “Can’t” Is Not Weakness:

The biggest hurdle when it comes to dealing with “can’t” is intimately understanding on a heart-knowledge level that being unable to do certain things because of your illness does not mean you are weak, lazy, unintelligent, or unmotivated. This is where I was stuck for a long time. I had believed my whole life that if I couldn’t perform at peak levels, it must be my fault and that I just wasn’t trying hard enough. So, when my illness started to seriously affect my work quality in the career I had worked so hard to achieve, I compared myself to those around me, and told myself that I was just “too stupid” or “lazy” to do the job. At times I listened to the lies that I was worthless.

Hello Over-Achiever. I want to talk to you directly now. You burn-the-candle-at-both-ends doers. You know-you-can-conquer-the-world types. You did not choose your health issues. You didn’t work hard your whole life just to become a “lazy” and “unmotivated” on a whim. That’s not you and that’s not what is happening in your life. It’s not a matter of motivation, drive, desire, or ambition. It’s not a matter of not trying hard enough. It’s a matter of your body revolting against the true self of your mind and spirit. It’s a matter of your earthly vessel failing the real and eternal you that lives inside. The true and eternal you is still the same as it has always been: driven, motivated, intelligent, and strong. Once you accept this and understand the gulf between the two “yous,” you can take strides to get your body back on board so that a more collected, collective you can get back to truly living.

Accepting your “can’t” isn’t weakness; it’s actually strength. It means that you are strong enough to look your health challenge squarely in the face and get after the business of Overcoming. It means that you are brave enough to accept that your life right now must take an unexpected detour. It means that you are willing to admit your physical “can’t” so that you can open your mind and spirit to what you can and must do to regain your health. And the only way you can allow your focus to properly shift to healing is to first completely embrace your illness and your “can’t.”

2. “Can’t” Allows Healing:

Sadly, it took me several years to embrace this truth. I am encouraging you not to wait. Because if you don’t fully believe and fully accept that you are sick, you will keep running the rat race. But if you look deep in your heart, listen to your body, and know in truth that you are sick, then you can accept it. Embrace it.

I cannot stress this enough. Because until you wholly feel the weight of it, until you embrace it and believe it, you can’t get truly angry about what your illness is stealing from you. And until you get angry you cannot mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepare for the battle ahead of obtaining a full and accurate diagnosis, proper treatment, and hopefully better health. This is how coming to terms with your “can’t” sets you on the path to healing.

If you are in the early stages of your health journey, this next part may shock you. The medical system (at least in the United States) will not completely facilitate you regaining your health. Not at all. Unless you are exceptionally fortunate, your journey is not going to look like: get sick, see a doctor, get better. No, if you have a chronic or complex illness, generally speaking you need to prepare for battle. You need to arm yourself with knowledge and with the mental fortitude to be your own advocate. You need to prepare to fight for your life. You need to push for answers and drive the process. No one else will or can do it for you.

This is why embracing your “can’t” is so important. Because when you truly realize what you “can’t,” you get really, really angry at this invisible thief of life that is your illness. I don’t mean “bitter” angry, I mean “motivated and determined” angry. And you’re going to need that determination to drive the (sometimes grueling) battle that lies before you. And that drive to press forward in the battle is the only thing that will lead you to wellness.

It’s all you, Warrior! So get really angry at your “can’t” and resolve in your mind to do everything you humanly can to regain your health.

3. “Can’t” might be forever (But it’s not your identity): One of the more valuable pieces of advice I can share with you is that your “can’t” might be forever. That can be a difficult pill to swallow. But your “can’t “ does not need to become your identity. My life is much more than all the “limitations” I face on a daily basis. My life is full of hope, adventures and overcoming all the bumps in the road.

4. “Can’t” Makes Room for “Can”

Another critically important thing that coming to terms with your “can’t” does is that it makes room in your life for your “can.” Some of your “cans” may look something like:

1). I can make healthy, life-giving meals for myself to help my body heal.

2). I can research my illness for myself so that I have the knowledge to ask good questions at my appointments and to make educated treatment decisions.

3). I can maintain a positive attitude, despite how I feel.

4). I can make time for self-care activities that will help my body.

5). I can surround myself with people who encourage me in my health journey.

6). I can purposefully structure my life so that it supports wellness and healing.

7). Even though I couldn’t yesterday, today I can go for a short walk or bike ride.

8). This morning, I can rise early and sit peacefully to watch the sun rise

9). Right now, I can make positive choices to help with the symptoms I’m experiencing.

10). Don’t get hung up on committing to daily schedules of “cans” or expecting some type of minimum performance of “cans.” While it’s absolutely important to have bigger, more overarching “can” goals, embrace what you can do today and accept that tomorrow’s “cans” may look very different based on your health. Every day is a new opportunity to discover and put into practice the things you can do.

Here are some practical steps that can be used to work towards peace with your current “can’t:”

1. Pray

2. Journal

3. Reach out to family/friends

4. Reach out for professional help if needed

Coming to terms with your “can’t” may be difficult, but it’s so important and it opens the way for healing and wellness to come in time. You are unbelievably strong to live with your symptoms day in and day out and even stronger to accept and face such a challenge head on. Be encouraged that your “can’t” is just for right now and that nothing we face on this side of Heaven is forever. ~OC

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Transformed Nonconformist

Today’s a new day! Did you know there are 1,430 hate groups in the United States alone. Sadly, those numbers are growing. While many tend to be small, they have political power and want to see unrest across America.

Hate groups will continue to poison hearts, stir up violence, and polarize people in 2024 and beyond. So to gear up for these challenges, I reflected back on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s book Strength to Love. I encourage you to check it out.

The book is a fascinating read, but one of the phrases Dr. King used truly grabbed my attention. Dr. King calls us to be “Transformed Nonconformist” Here is the scripture that Dr. King used to come up with this beautiful term.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2).

Transformed nonconformists reject racism, discrimination, hatred and anything that tears our society apart and tries to divide us.

Transformed nonconformists break the chain reaction of evil by refusing to “fight fire with fire.”

Why? Because as Dr. King explains, “Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence… in a descending spiral of destruction” This is one of the main reasons for not responding in kind to evil. In the powerful words of Mahatma Ghandi, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

The second part of Romans 12 describes the divine reason we break the chain reaction of evil. The Scriptures command us to conquer hate through the power of love:

*Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (v. 14).

*Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone (v. 17).

*If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (v. 18).

*Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath (v. 19).

*If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink… (v. 20).

*Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (v. 21).

These commands indicate that a transformed nonconformist is in fact a peacemaker. And these peacemakers break the chain reaction of evil – through suffering, absorbing pain and responding in love.  

Peacemaking is not for the faint of heart. Peacemaking demands an uncompromising rejection of the unloving ways of the world and a radical embrace of the enemy-loving way of Jesus.

I read an article once where a civil rights worker was asked how he was able to endure racial hatred and violence while working for justice. “The hatred coming at me in those fists and clubs was bouncing right off me back into the air, and it could just continue to spread like electricity. I decided not to fight back. I would let my body absorb that hatred, so that some of it would die in my body and not bounce back into the world. I now see that my job in the midst of evil is to make my body a grave for hate.”

Did you catch that last sentence? “Making my body a grave for hate.” That sounds scary. It is! That is why I chose to follow Jesus – the one who made his body a grave for hate, the one who rose from the grave, and the one who said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you” (John 20:21).

I pray you will join me on this journey of Love over hate. ~OC

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