Significant Life

Today’s a new day! What is a “significant life?” That is a question many will be asking as we move into a new year. I believe a significant life can be measured by having great worth and value–forged by carefully chosen crossroads leading to the sum of a life well lived. It is a life whose moments are not wasted on the material or ordinary, but excavates the ordinary as sacred because God is there.

I am eternally grateful for meeting God at a early age; that He pulled me close and began to open my eyes to eternal matters–but I regret the times I’ve wandered through the “ordinary” days grumbling and complaining as I waded through the difficult days, and frivolously moved carefree through seasons which could have been spent with more purpose.

As five decades of life are closely coming to a close, the brevity of life as described in Psalm 90 bears heavy on my heart and one thing I know: All that matters is living for Christ.

I do not want to waste another single day of my life. I desire to truly live my life for God until I breathe my last breath. I desire to live all out for His glory–whatever that may look like in this journey called life.

As a young man, I am not sure I took seriously the warnings of the wise men of God, “Don’t miss out on God’s will for your life!” I wasn’t exactly sure what His will was for me, and I am sure at times I missed it. Now that I’m older, His will seems more clear, single-focused, and less complicated. I can sum it up in three words: Simply Glorify Him.

The driving passion of my life is expressed by God in Numbers 14:21:

Indeed, as I live, all the earth will be filled with the glory of the Lord.


But what does that look like? For me, I believe Jesus gives us the answer in John 15:8 “My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be my disciples.”


As I write this post, emotions are swirling all around me. Tears, Missed Opportunities and Regret to name a few. But one emotion burst through like a ray of sunshine… Hope. That deep down hope that feels me with peace and promises for a great and exciting life. A hope that sustains me through the toughest storms

I want to challenge you to stop what you are doing right now and consider these questions:

Is my life significant?

Am I wasting my God given gifts and talents?

Am I bearing fruit?

What is the driving passion in my life?

How can I best use my remaining days to live out the purpose God has created for me in the remaining time I have on earth to bring Him glory?

I believe the answer to those six questions can lead us to living a significant life. ~OC

Happy New Year!

Today’s a new day! Happy New Year! Welcome to 2025. Not sure about you, but I look forward with great excitement, wondering what God has planned for me this coming new year. What new opportunities will reveal themselves? What new lessons will present themselves? A new year is full of endless possibilities.

As we gear up for a new year, I believe it’s important to take a little time to reflect on the past year. Doing this I believe helps to view each year as a season, understanding that God is Sovereign and has new seasons of experiences and growth to make us more like Him. I can testify 2024 was full of many different emotions. There were moments of grief, but there were also times of joy and happiness. A year filled with many memories and lessons.

As we take some time to reflect back on 2024, it helps us to remember that God is in total control and that we are constantly growing as His children and that He knows the plans He has for each of us. Plans of new wisdom, insight and understanding that He wants to impart to us, if we will allow Him to.

It also gives us an exciting and fresh new outlook of the coming year and enables us to leave the past where it belongs. Not that we forget the past but learn from it and move forward into our present future with open hearts and minds to receive whatever God has for us.

With that said, here are some ways we can look forward to in 2025.

New Beginnings: Start out 2025 with a fresh point of view of new experiences, opportunities, memories and blessings. Have an open mind and heart to where ever God may want to take you with full assurance and confidence that He is always with you. (Matthew 28:19-20)

New Possibilities: There are no limit to what God can do in your life and nothing is impossible with God. God opens doors that no one can shut and also closes doors that no one can open. The possibilities are endless with God. (Philippians 4:13)

New Plans: We walk into 2025 like a blank canvas. Be in prayer for what God has planned for you and be willing to walk by faith in obedience as you follow His leading. Remember that His plans are always for good and not for evil to give you a future and a Hope. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

New Purpose: As you look ahead, God always has a plan and a purpose for what you will go through and experience. Remember that God always has a reason for what He allows in your life and through it you can trust Him completely. (Proverbs 1:3-5)

New Provisions: The Bible says to not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of its own. In 2025, trust in God who knows everything you need. He is our Hope and our Provider. God is faithful and He will do it. (Matthew 6:1-33)

New Growth: When we are willing to let go and let God work in and through us, He will always stretch us and grow us. It is an important part of the growth process. I pray we will all continue to grow in our relationship with God and in His Word. In 2025, allow God to mold you and make you pliable in the potters hand and then watch the master craftsman work in your life in amazing ways.

New Wisdom: With new experiences and new lessons comes new wisdom and insight. Always make it a priority to seek out wisdom as hidden treasure or fine gold. In Proverbs it says that it will be like a garland of grace around your neck and honor you and present you with a crown of splendor. (Proverbs 4:7-9)

Renewed Peace: As you go through new experiences and new adventures whether they are good or bad, my encouragement is to keep your eyes fixed on God and He will give you rest and peace, because He is our peace and loves us and cares for each of us deeply. (John 16:33)

As we spend some time in reflection about 2024, let us give thanks to God for getting us through another year as we look forward to what He has for us in 2025 and praise Him that He is faithful and worthy to be praised. ~OC

What If…

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. ~ Ephesians 3:19-20

Today’s a new day! I don’t understand my iPhone. I don’t understand how hundreds of thousands of pieces of information can be embedded in a tiny chip you can barely see. Or, how, at the touch of a finger, push of a button, or verbal command the entire world can be opened before your eyes. I do not know how, I may not understand, but I do know when I learn how to use my phone to its fullest I can do amazing things that almost make me look creative, even smart.

Likewise, there are so many things I don’t understand about my God, this beautiful, amazing, wonderful Triune God I serve and love. And just when I think I know Him and what He will do He surprises me. The Bible says His ways are higher than ours and His thoughts are deeper than ours. I don’t understand how He can know every person on this earth by name, or how He knows the number of hairs on my head. In my case, that’s not a hard one.

I don’t understand how He can create life out of an egg or even nothing at all! I don’t understand how He can touch a body and heal it of cancer, make the paralyzed walk, the blind see, the deaf hear; but He can! All these things God can do, and so much more! I don’t have to understand how, but just trust that He can!

What if today’s verse became our mantra for today and every day? What if, every time we were tempted to worry, or become anxious, or bite our nails, we recalled this important promise? What if we looked at all the things we or a loved one is facing presently and remembered these words? Instead of thinking all is lost or how impossible something is, said to ourselves; …but God can do abundantly more… Prayed to God; Dear God we need you to do exceedingly, abundantly more in this situation than we could dare think, ask, or imagine! What if? ~OC

Don’t Fall For The Lies

Today’s a new day! As a chronically ill Christian, the enemy often tries to sell me the following lie: “My illness and God’s goodness cannot coexist.”

Over the past twenty-two years, multiple life threatening health disease have been my “thorn.”  My body has been attacked on many fronts. Many times early on in my health battle, I remember trying to reconcile my suffering with God’s purpose.

As I pondered my place in God’s eyes, questions of doubt polluted my mind:

What did I do to deserve this illness?

If God actually loves me, why doesn’t he heal me?

How could a broken body fit into God’s plans?

By worldly standards, my value depended on what I could do, instead of what God already did.  For someone who has lived in and out of the hospital for the last two decades, a meaningful life might seem to be an unattainable dream.

Unrooted in God’s word, the presence of my health issues seemed to indicate an absence of His affection.

But friend, this thinking is simply unbiblical.  Let’s dispel this lie by replacing it with God’s truth and equip ourselves with biblical instruction for endurance.

Maybe you don’t struggle with a chronic illness, but we all struggle with chronic issues. Whether you’re dealing with multiple health issues, the scars of life that still plague your mind or the same addiction continues creeping into your life, God tells us that no trial can separate us from His Love. ~Romans 8:35

In fact, our trials might be the very tool God uses to strengthen our relationship with Him.  So, as we think about chronic illness, let’s redirect our thoughts from asking “what could I have done differently to prevent my health issues”, to instead asking, “God, how can you work through my current health issues?”

Two words come to mind when I consider how God can work through our challenges to refine our faith: Reliance and Glory.

1. RELIANCE – God can use our current life challenges to encourage us to rely more fully on Him.

For those struggling to understand why God allows hardship to ensue, the book of Job is a masterpiece written just for us. The Bible describes Job as a faithful man with many blessings.  To test whether Job will still praise God’s name even when his life crumbles, God allows the enemy to wreak havoc on Job’s life – striking his flesh and bones with sickness, infecting him with skin boils, and turning his family away (Job 1:4-9).  Job is not only chronically ill, but also chronically lonely, as his loved ones tell him to just give up and curse His Creator.

Let’s pause right here.  God allows the enemy to test Job.  Now, why would God do this? Among many reasons, God uses suffering as a tool to refine Job’s faith. God knows that it is in the valleys that we are encouraged to truly rely on Him.

Amid adversity, Job’s mind is a battlefield much like our own; his thoughts go between wanting God to leave Him alone and begging for God’s support.  In the end, through his wrestle with God, Job remains faithful that God’s promises are true. He trusts that God loves him in his struggles and is working all things together for good.

As we learn in Job, sometimes God allows for challenges, not to punish us, but to strengthen our relationship with Him.When storms arise, may we trust that God’s plans are purposeful.  This means that whether we are battling a seasonal cold or fighting for our lives after tragedy strikes, God’s loving hand is in everything.

2. HIS GLORY – The contrast of our weakness with His Power emphasizes our need for God.

In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul describes pleading with the Lord to remove a “thorn in his flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7).  In my own life, my “thorn” represents my health battle.

Jesus addresses Paul’s request by equipping him with endurance and explaining that his struggle has a purpose.  Jesus answers, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My Power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).  In this story, Paul’s struggle serves as a reminder of his inherent inadequacy to our all-powerful God, ultimately pointing to his need for a Savior.

Though God denies Paul’s request for healing, He assures him that His grace will help him endure.  Paul is not blessed with healing, but instead, with a more valuable and versatile blessing: the ability to see God’s light in the darkness of his valley.  God doesn’t leave us to dwell in our struggles, He helps us endure.

God’s response gives hope to those whose prayers seemingly go unanswered.  Next time you ask God to remove your “thorn”, may you remember that a lack of an answer is not evidence of a distant God.  God always responds to our requests; His responses just might differ from what we planned.  No matter the response, if we trust God with our lives, we can be sure that He is working for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

As we learn from Paul’s interaction with God, some of our wounds will only heal once we go home to Heaven, but we can trust that our struggles are a part of a beautiful redemption story.

Let’s look at another example of how God can work through our pain to reveal His Power.  In John 9, Jesus is walking around town with His disciples when they spot a man who is blind from birth.  Jesus’ disciples ask him a question that might sound like one you’ve asked yourself before: “who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” (John 9:2).  Sound familiar? The disciples mistakenly assume that this man’s disability is due to his personal sin.

Jesus corrects the disciples, responding, “neither this man nor his parents sinned…This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him” (John 9:3).  With this declaration, Jesus dispels the lie that the only purpose for our trials is punishment, and He communicates that our trials can be used to display God’s power.

Jesus then heals the blind man, confirming his belief and establishing an eternal relationship.

Before his healing, we can’t be sure of how this man’s disability affected his self-esteem, but he might have believed some of the same lies that often ravage our minds.  When measuring himself against societal standards, he very well could have attributed his disability to a distant God.  However, when Jesus enters the scene, it becomes clear that this man’s disability was the very tool God utilized to strengthen his relationship with Him. 

As we reflect on these stories, the Word illuminates God’s heart for the chronically ill: God has a purpose for our pain, His love does not waver, and He will work all things together for good, even the messy parts of our lives.

God does not promise to remove our thorns, but He does promise to help us endure.  Whatever your thorn looks like, may you remember that God provides a peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:6-7).

Throughout my battle with multiple health issues, medical mysteries, and shattered plans, one verse has sparked hope in my soul: “We do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:12).

Friend, however deep your thorns dig, may you never give up. Keep overcoming and finish strong. ~OC

Our Health and Living

Today’s a new day! Long-term and terminal illnesses can be a scary road to navigate. It’s hard on one’s body, mind and soul. And everyone that cares for them. How will my body and mind handle today? That’s a question I ask myself on a daily basis. Chronic and terminal illnesses also raises many questions that many people shy away from unless they are faced with it directly. But if we’re listening, many lessons can be learned.

Health issues have a way of reminding people that time is a valuable, non-negotiable, and a non-renewable resource. With that said, how do we look at the bigger picture of life and find out what is truly important? 

Spend Time Focusing on Relationships:

We were not meant to do this life alone. God did not create us to be Lone Rangers. I know of no one who regrets time spent building meaningful relationships regardless of life’s struggles.

Take time to ask yourself the following question: Are you truly making time for your family and friends?

Trim That Fat:

I am not talking about dieting and exercise, but those are important parts of our lives.

No, I am referring to something that a lot of times we do not even notice. I am referring to our home and our lives. We all have a tendency to fill both with clutter and hang on to things we do not need. A life-changing diagnosis can become the catalyst for the housekeeping of our home and heart as we realize what is truly important in our lives. It is also a good time to reflect on our faith.

 “Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” ~Hebrews 12:1-2

Speak your Heart Now:

It is good for all of us to review and consider our relationships. Because we all know relationships can be messy at times. If we love people, why not let them know how much they mean to us. Now! Why wait until it’s too late? If we have hurt someone or offended them in some way, why not seek their forgiveness and do what we can to make it right.

Who are the most important people in your life? Take a moment to think about that. Maybe even say their names out loud or write them down. Then ask yourself this question: Have I honestly shared what each of those individuals truly mean to me?

“A heart at peace gives rest to the body.”   Proverbs 14:30

Set New Goals (Dream!):

It can be easy to wait for a challenging season to be over. “When I get better, then I will take that trip.” “When I get better, then I will _____.” Why not take that trip now? As I have walked through this long journey of health issues, Laura and I have learned to take those trips now. Even though those trips can be tough on my body, the memories are priceless. So go live out that adventure. Experience love, joy and happiness during even the toughest of times. I encourage you to find what brings you happiness and go experience it. Keep dreaming some big dreams, set some goals, and do what you possibly can to make them happen.

Many facing long term health challenges find that those trials have helped them clarify and simplify their lives.

During my own health journey, I have discovered what’s truly important in life. For me, it’s my faith, my relationship with my bride, relationships with loved ones, encouraging others and truly living out my God-given purpose in life.

What can we learn from this?

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our troubles,
so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ~2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I hope and pray the words above have brought some comfort and encouragement. Go live your life! ~OC

The Empty Seat

Today’s a new day! As I wake up on this Christmas Eve, my thoughts turn to those walking through hard times this holiday season. On this day before Christmas, some are experiencing their first Christmas season with an empty chair at the table.

This year like so many, I have experienced the loss of loved ones.

The loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, sibling, niece, nephew, friend or the tragic loss of a child creates a hole begging to be filled and a seat at the table that will remain empty.

At times these precious family members may feel deserted. By God, by life, by family and friends who don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

So what do you do for someone who is grieving on what should be one of the merriest days of the year?

I pray the following helps.

1) Your presence and words matter

Saying I can’t imagine…

Nothing more. Nothing less. Those words embrace them, their loss, and their pain, showing you care. Deeply. And you are there, for them, with them, regardless of the pain it causes you to share in theirs.

When we add words after I can’t imagine, we are likely to add our own emotions, thoughts and feelings. Just simply acknowledge their feelings, pain and loss.

I can’t imagine…yet I care. Simply be with them.

2) Say the name of their lost loved one. Hearing the name of that precious person matters and makes a difference in the healing process. Avoiding speaking the name actually hurts everyone there, so share stories, cry and laugh as you recall the amazing life of a loved one.

So say their name…

3) Pull out the pictures! Sometimes the best gift and step to healing is going through old photos or videos. The gift of beautiful memories. Never letting their life be forgotten.

He comforts us. He heals the broken hearted. God is good, even when situations are not, God is. ~Psalm 56:8

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~Psalm 147:3

So pull up a chair to the table, set a plate and name card for the one who is no longer there and let the stories and memories flow.

Let us honor the ones who have simply gone before us to where we want to be when it’s our turn – dancing and praising in the presence of Jesus.

There is hope in the midst of the sadness. We will see our loved ones again and that is worth celebrating.

On this Christmas Eve, I am thankful God sent His one and only Son Jesus to pave the way for each one of us who love Him. Yes, we miss the ones who have gone before us and left their seat at our table empty, yet we celebrate they are in Heaven. Seated with Jesus at the Heavenly Christmas Table. ~OC

Singing Hallelujah

Today’s a new day! As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for over 22 years, I’ve had a lot of time to think about the journey. These thoughts have been like a blueprint for my journey. A journey that is radically different to the one I envisioned 22 years ago.

When I received my first diagnosis back in 2002, I was told after the shock of the diagnosis I would deal with anger and depression. Those well meaning health professionals were wrong. As crazy as it may sound, I feel like this health journey is quite possibly one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Yes, the journey has not been easy. All the surgeries, treatments and hospital stays have not always been pleasant. It’s not the blueprint I would have written for my life. But it has made me really re-evaluate a lot of the things I once held close. It’s made me appreciate my family and friends so much more and realize that possessions mean nothing when you’re faced with the real possibility of dying. Most importantly, it has made me so very aware that the God I believe in and serve is so much bigger and so much closer to me than I ever could have imagined.

Throughout history God has had many names, one of them being Immanuel, meaning ‘God with us’. I have never known that to be more true than I have the last 22 years and counting. Sometimes I wonder why I was chosen to walk this journey. But then God blesses me with a beautiful interruption and I am reminded that God has a purpose for my journey.

I know that God’s ways are higher than my own and there has been immense good that has come from this crazy beautiful health journey. God has used my health journey to bring me and others closer to Him. To bring encouragement.

As I walk through this journey, woven into the fabric of my life has been an understanding of what it means to suffer, and from that understanding has flown love, compassion and mercy.

During this journey, I have continuously leaned on Psalm 139:15-16, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 and Hebrews 13:5. I will let you research those scriptures on your own. While this health journey and everything that has come with it may seem chaotic, I know there is purpose in this crazy beautiful journey. Not my purpose, but the purpose of a God who holds the universe in His hands… who knew me from the moment I was conceived in the womb…. who has walked beside me every day of my life. I may not understand everything that has happened along this journey and maybe on this side of Heaven I never will, but I know that whatever happens, God is in control and he has promised he will never leave me or forsake me.

I don’t know about you, but that gives me a tremendous amount of confidence that everything is going to be alright.

Because of God’s goodness I will sing Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Singing Hallelujah because I am living a blessed life. Singing Hallelujah because my bride who loves me and is standing strong with me on this journey. Singing Hallelujah because I have amazing family and friends who continue to stand with Laura and I during this unending journey. Singing Hallelujah because God walks beside me and fights the battle for me. He commands his angels concerning me and they guard me. God is my fortress, my hiding place while the battle rages around me. He stands between me and my health issues that would seek to take my life and says to the sickness “no further… you will not harm him”.

Singing Hallelujah because I am still alive…. and hopefully will be for many years to come.

There are so many reasons to sing Hallelujah…. so many…. and as long as I have a heartbeat you will hear my Hallelujah.

Whatever you see in me that you think is good comes from Heaven.

It’s not my doing…. it’s His. ~OC

True Meaning of Christmas

Today’s a new day! As we celebrate this Christmas season, I wanted to share my thoughts on the true meaning of Christmas.

For me and many Christians, Jesus is the reason for the season and my family and friends mean the world to me and are a beautiful blessing. With all the shopping, parties and trying to have the perfect Christmas, so many people lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas. Isn’t it supposed to be shared with those you love most? Isn’t our presence supposed to be more valuable than presents? What happened along the way to constantly change people’s perspective? Aren’t we supposed to be remembering the most famous story in the Bible of Mary and Joseph in Bethlehem and the Angel visiting them in the manger telling them not to be afraid of the Angel’s presence? We are supposed to be surrounded with our loved ones, attend Christmas service and gather around tables eating together and sharing holiday memories with loved ones.

If only people could really understand the true meaning of Christmas and not be so infatuated with the gifts, lights, shopping deals and trying to spend the most money to impress people. Gifts fade and become meaningless, time passes, people forget what you purchased them and we tend to glorify the wrong things and situations. While receiving gifts is fun and rewarding in the short term, actually caring for and spending time with the people we love is a lot more important. Being together with loved ones and sharing time together is what this Christmas season is all about. Giving back to our community is what we should be looking forward to and trying to help those in need. Saying a prayer for someone hurting this holiday is a good start if you cannot afford to buy anything monetarily.

I know the holidays are difficult for people who have lost loved ones during this time of year, or might be going through a difficult season in life. However, we cannot allow these negative situations to hold us back from receiving Jesus’s love for us and spreading holiday cheer. Do not allow your current or past circumstances cloud your future happiness and the joy of this season. Make the choice to live with a grateful heart for the small things in life and try not to dwell too much on the past. Spend some time reflecting on 2024 and look forward to all that God has for you in 2025. Take some time to count your blessings.

The true meaning of Christmas is what you make of it and not all the fancy gifts that sit under trees and will be forgotten as years pass. Go out and make new memories with your family and friends that will last a lifetime. I promise you – time spent together with loved ones is better than money well spent on items that have a lot less meaning to them. Merry Christmas to you all and blessings for the New Year. ~OC

Choose Wisely

Today’s a new day! As Christian’s, the way we treat people can drive them out of the church or to the foot of the alter. Chose wisely. ~OC

Let’s Talk

Today’s a new day! This morning I want to discuss a tough issue for many in the Christian community. Mental Health. Unfortunately, many believers have made it difficult for those dealing with mental health issues to share and get the help they need.

Mental health issues can still be a highly stigmatized topic in the church. Although many Believers know the trials of occasional anxiety or having the blues, people with a diagnosed mental illness face unique challenges. Some are confronted by Christians who espouse false doctrine that health issues are a sign of unresolved sin or lack of faith. This is a Big Lie!

I want to encourage anyone dealing with mental health issues or any health issue to get the necessary medical care they need. There is nothing wrong with taking medications, having a therapist and loving Jesus all at the same time. There should be no shame or condemnation.

The same biblical truths that have encouraged Christians for centuries can encourage those who suffer with mental health today. I pray those walking through the trials of mental health will cling to these words of encouragement.

1. You Are Not Alone

God’s people have suffered—mentally, emotionally, and physically—since the fall in the garden. Even Jesus cried out in despair on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46), When we suffer, we are never alone. Never be afraid to reach out for help. Speaking openly about your mental health issues allows those around you to share their own struggles. This allows us all to come together and care for one another.

2). Stop Blaming Yourself. Stop listening to those who may try to put a spiritual guilt trip on you. Mental health issues are not a punishment for sin or lack of faith. As you walk through this journey, I encourage you to keep your eyes on God. He has some amazing plans for your life. Keep leaning into His beautiful promises.

3). Remember, God sees you, loves you and is always with you. Thankfully, we have a wonderful Savior who experiences emotions. As you walk through the effects of mental illness, remember the nearness of Christ. He weeps with you. God knows how He is going to work in and through each of our lives and is with us in the midst of all of our trials. By the amazing grace of God, he sent the Holy Spirit, our comforter and counselor, to be with us , to help us through every moment of life. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us (Romans 8:27). He is there for us when we do not have the words.

4). God’s Word Speaks to us (Romans 15:4).

The word of God isn’t afraid to talk about mental and emotional issues.

Keep the truth of God’s words close. Share them with a close friend, family member, or accountability partner who can remind you when you forget or when you do not have the energy or willpower to remind yourself.

The truth is some will deal with mental health issues for a lifetime. But remember, we can all rejoice in the greatness and sovereignty of our loving Savior. I pray that God will make known his love and strength in all of our struggles. ~OC

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