Dear Hate,

Today’s a new day!

Dear Hate, I trust this letter finds you well. Actually, from what I see on tv and social media, it looks like business is booming for you lately. I have to give you credit, you have managed to keep yourself in the news and social media 24/7 these days and that’s not an easy feat. You are like a chameleon. You continue to reinvent yourself. Sadly, your brand is a whole lot stronger than most people realize. Somehow you have been able to leverage all that fear out there into a pretty impressive machine.

But, thankfully we have the answer to overcome all hate. A beautiful four-letter word called Love. Oh yes, Love. That’s your kryptonite.

Love is the beautiful response to all the hate we see in the world. Love can rebuild everything that hate tries to destroy.

Love is a redemptive song that people keep finding a way to sing together no matter how difficult the days become. Sure, maybe we have had a rough stretch lately, but we’ve been through this all a million times before and Love has always been able to defeat hate.

And I believe Love- will answer now too.

Let’s face it, deep down we all know how this is going to play out, don’t we? Hate will grab the headlines and make a dramatic statement and chaos will briefly come, and you’ll feel and seem like you’re winning. Hate will get a bit of traction and celebrate for a moment, but it will not be long until Love rises up and slowly drives back all the destruction that you have managed to raise.

Like yeast in the dough, Love will quietly and silently do the healing work. From person to person, heart to heart, breath by breath. Love will dance!

Hate, you probably have noticed that Love doesn’t resort to all the theatrics you’re known for. Because the truth is, Love and goodness is humanity’s default setting and when people stop to breathe, when they step away from all the hate, when they draw nearer to one another and recognize the goodness in the other’s eyes—then hate you’re defeated.

I believe people will always return to compassion and mercy because those are the most powerful forces on earth. And when they do, they find Love there waiting. They’ll embrace Love and Love will embrace them.

Yes, hate may occasionally corrupt the system, but Love is the system. Love is the truth that people know without knowing they know it. Love is a deep sacred place that the human heart will always seek at its level. When hurting, grieving, weary souls search for rest, Love is where and when people finally find themselves at home.

So hate, you can have your eye for any eye, and Love will keep making peace.
Hate, you can demand revenge and Love will keep forgiving.
Hate, you can spew venom and Love will turn its cheek.
Hate, can strike with a closed fist, and Love will stretch out its open hand.
Hate, you can gloat and brag and feel quite pleased with yourself for the momentary chaos you’ve manufactured—and Love will press firmly into that which endures and defeats it.

Hate, you are a powerful and resilient, force, but you’ll never overcome Love.

Hate, no matter what unspeakable damage you do, Love will bring even greater healing.

Love will always have the last word.

Hate, look around you. Look beneath the headlines and the noise. Look deeply into the eyes of those who get Love and see how much they’re willing to do.

Love will not be denied.

Hate, you cannot win this one, my bitter friend, no matter what you, the news, social media or the fear mongers say.

This place belongs to Love. ~OC

The Thief on the Cross

Today’s a new day! Yesterday, I reposted about the thief on the Cross that I found on a friend’s Facebook page. The story about the thief on the Cross has always been one of my favorite stories from the Bible. I have often shared after meeting Jesus, the next person in Heaven I want to meet is the thief on the Cross. Here are some of my thoughts on this amazing story.

As I went back and read Luke 23:26-49, I was struck with gratitude for the thief on the cross beside Jesus. Mocked, insulted and shamed- Jesus endured not only the painful, sorrowful physical pain of the cross but rejection of the people that he loved and came to save. Yet, it was the unexpected conversion of the thief who was there beside Jesus in those last moments. The thief’s witness of faith is a beautiful reminder of the redeeming potential of mankind.

So what differentiated the thief on the cross and the other criminal hanging there? I believe it was awareness and repentance.

First, the thief on the cross was attentive to who he believed Jesus to be- in light of an intimate unique relationship to God. Saying to the other criminal beside him, “Have you no fear of God, for you are subject to the same condemnation?” (Luke 23:40). Here too, the thief acknowledges his own sin, unworthiness, and deserved punishment. In the opinion of the world, there was no redemption, no more chances, this was the end. Yet, the thief also confesses an understanding that Jesus’ kingdom was not of this world and a new desire to belong to Christ. “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” (Luke 23:42).

Wait..there was still hope? Was it truly possible to trade the consequences for his decisions, the weight of his shame for a place in God’s kingdom that very day? And, “He replied to him, ‘Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.’”(Luke 23:43). The beauty of Jesus victory over death reminds us of the ever present reality of the eternal promise of life. Yet, as God’s divine love and mercy are always more than we could ever conceive, gratefully we are reminded that God has yet to give up on any of us. So, to the thief on the cross I would like to say thank you.

Thank you for witnessing that not one spiritual journey is ever the same. Called to conversion, continually, we are a people always in need of a Savior. Though in mankind’s eyes your profession of faith might be considered last minute… it is in truth timeless. It is truly a graced beneficiary of the unrestrained and limitless love of a Father- who time has no hold upon. ~OC

Some Lessons Learned

Today’s a new day! As I have run this crazy beautiful health journey for the past twenty-two years, I am often asked about the lessons I have learned along the journey. So here are just a few lessons learned along this crazy beautiful journey.

  1. Bring your pain to God don’t run from Him: When you run from God in seasons of challenge, all you’re left with is your own limited ability to cope with what you’re walking through. On the other hand, God invites us to draw near to him that we might experience his peace, healing, and closeness and this is what Scripture points us towards.

 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18

When we bring our pain to God we recognize that there is a purpose and in time God who loves us unconditionally will reveal his divine purpose through it.

  1. Fill your life with God’s word and God’s people: How we respond to the trials of life is critical to how we process what’s happening and how healing will take place. If we treat physical sickness with the incorrect medication, not only will our sickness continue, but it could become worse.

That is why it’s so important to not fill our minds with wrong thoughts; like God is mad at me, God is not good, worse things are going to happen, etc. If we allow those negative thoughts in, we will struggle to experience the peace of God he promises to us in Scripture (Philippians 4:7).

But when we fill our life with God’s words and surround ourselves with people who speak hope and encouragement into our lives, our experience will be much healthier.

“How sweet your words taste to me; they are sweeter than honey.” Psalm 119:103

When we fill our minds with God’s Word, we are reminding ourselves of who our God is, what he’s like, and we replace the lies of the enemy with the truth of God.

  1. Don’t be filled with worry, overflow with worship: Something powerful happens when we actively choose to worship through our suffering. We are not denying reality, we are simply redirecting our posture from one of worry to one of worship.

Worship changes our perspective. Worship speaks about where our confidence and hope lives. Worship redirects our thinking. Worship places the results in God’s hands.

  1. Believe that God will turn your sorrow into great joy: One of the great challenges of our faith is realizing that God can use our pain for our good. Meaning that our biggest sorrows can result in our greatest joy. When you think about Jesus’ greatest sorrow – suffering the shame, punishment, and death for our sin, the result was great joy – the redemption of humanity and the opportunity for a relationship with the living God.

When I reflect on my long health journey, which has been filled with a lot of pain, suffering and loss, I am thankful I pressed into God’s presence and trusted his plan for my life. I have watched him use my health journey to strengthen and encourage others which has resulted in my own comfort and joy through this crazy beautiful health journey.

As you walk through your own suffering today or in the days to come, I pray you will hold on to these powerful promises from God:

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

As I continue to run this health battle, I am humbled that Jesus willingly suffered the greatest pain and death because He knew the end of the story and so do we. So keep leaning into the promises of God. ~OC

Jars of Clay

Today’s a new day! In 2 Corinthians 4:7-9, we read the following words: “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed.”

In the above verse, Paul is comparing us to jars of clay in verse seven because life here on earth will cause us to be broken sometimes and when we are we always have the choice on what we will do with our brokenness.  If we allow God to fill us more with each and every passing trial or heartache, He can shine through that brokenness and others will see Him. Even though some heartaches and storms seem to last forever Paul goes on to explain how we need to view everything in life on earth.  

In 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, it declares, “Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  As difficult as it is to look at some storms as being temporary when we know here on earth it isn’t just going to go away, God is drawing us to His side to allow Him to fill us with more of His light and to be comforted by Him.  He wants our focus to be on Him and eternity.  He wants His light to shine through our brokenness so the world will see Him.  The world is a dark, lost place and people need Jesus. The more we choose to be different by living a life that is pleasing to God the more they will see Him. Paul took great joy the more broken he became because He understood that the more weak he became the more God was shining through His life.  

Whether we are looking at our own life or the life of someone we love, don’t lose heart. God loves us and He has a plan. We need to fix our eyes on Him and seek Him and His plan. Allow Him to fill us so every crack of that broken jar shines His light to a lost world. The darker the world gets the more our light can shine for Him if we are seeking Him and allowing Him to shine through us. Our hope is found in Him and He wants to fill us with that hope. He wants to fill us with the confidence that whatever we may be facing or someone we love is facing that He has a plan but we must seek Him and follow Him. Don’t look for another way, the answers that we are seeking are found in God. It may seem easier and faster to look for it somewhere else, but if it isn’t His plan then it isn’t His best. So let us seek Him and trust Him, knowing how much He loves us so we can know that truly His best is yet to come. May we lean into His promises. ~OC

Broken Pieces

Today’s a new day! As I study the Bible, I see that those who did God’s work were often those who made the biggest mistakes and had to learn the hard way. Just like some of us. They were no saints. As we walk this journey called life, there are wounded and broken people all around us. They might be family, friends, neighbors or coworkers. They might be the people we sit next to at church. We may not actually see their wounds, but we can usually tell when people are sad or struggling or just not themselves. Most of us have been there at some point in our own lives. We have dealt with health, relationship or finances issues. That brokenness is very personal, so much so that we often do not want to share the details with anyone. That brokenness is unique to each of us. It’s ours, nobody else’s.

Yet in a strange way, it connects us with each other as something that we have in common.

We all have our stories, battles and wounds from this world. Broken things are often despised and thrown out. Something we no longer need. We just toss them away. We tend to reject damaged goods. That includes relationships. Often when relationships breakdown, the tendency is to walk away and find someone new.

But throughout history, we see where God chooses to use broken people.

The world is full of people with broken hearts, broken spirits and broken relationships. Maybe this is hitting close to home. But there is no reason to close yourself off from the world because you might get hurt. Again. I want to remind you of the words in Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

That verse is so true. God’s love can shine through the cracks and through our broken lives. Life at its best is letting the light and the love of God shine through, especially at our broken places. Only God’s love shining through will bring proper healing and transformation. When life is going well and there’s lots of sunny days, it’s so much easier to see God at work in our lives.

But in those dark days, we see God’s presence and strength shared with us in a different way. He is stronger than our darkest moments and if we trust in Him, we will grow in grace and confidence and others will notice that light shining through our cracks. But in those moments, we might need to be open and vulnerable to others.

We all know how difficult, but rewarding building relationships can be. It can be challenging to be real and transparent. We do not want people to know everything about us, but there are some painful issues that we can share, especially if we know that God is helping us through those difficult times.

Today, do you feel there are too many broken parts of your life to be of any use to God?

Believe me you are not alone. Jesus wants us to bring him all our brokenness and ask him to fill us with his light, that will shine through our cracks. So today, I pray you will lay all your broken pieces at the feet of Jesus. ~~OC

Christians, Love Thy Neighbors

Today’s a new day! As Christian’s we are called to love and serve others. We are also called to be ambassadors of reconciliation. In his letter to the church in Corinth, Paul wrote, “So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!  All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:  that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Corinthians 5:11-21)

What does it look like to be a reconciliation ambassador? It doesn’t look like calling people names and telling them they’re going to hell. It’s loving them and praying for them and looking for opportunities to talk quietly like civilized human beings on topics about which we all care deeply.

Looking at the fruits of the spirit, agape love is a divinely inspired action. It’s not a feeling. No, agape love comes from God. We cannot do it on our own. It requires sacrifice. When scripture says love your neighbor, it’s not a choice, it’s a command. Which means we must love people even if we don’t agree with them.

We don’t get to call people out in a holier-than-thou, take-that tone of voice that says they’re less than while we’re angels-in-training.

Here’s some truth. Jesus never belonged to a political party. Contrary to popular belief, Jesus was not a Republican. Also, I do not believe Jesus was a Democrat. He loved the woman at the well. He loved the tax collector. He loved the adulterer. He loves that political candidate you have decided to hate. He loves the sinner. He loves you. He loves me. And Jesus expects us to love everyone.

As a Christian, do you find that difficult? Fine. Start with one of the first things our moms and grandmas taught us. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

Then move on to “love thy neighbor as thyself.”

And then “let he who has no sin cast the first stone.” That’s a good one. As I reflect on my past shortcomings, I sometimes shutter at some of the things I’ve said, written or done. I am blessed and humbled that Jesus has forgiven me and crushed those iniquities under his heel.

I cannot stand in judgement because I have this enormous plank in my eye and I can’t see the splinter in the other person’s eye. Unless you’re perfect—and only one perfect person has ever walked this earth—I suspect we’re all in the same boat.

“We love because He first loved us. If anyone says I love God, yet he hates his brother or sister he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother and sister, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: whoever loves God, must also love his brother and sister.” 1 John 4: 19-21

What happens if we do not love our neighbors as ourselves? Galatians 6:15 declares, “If you keep biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” Wow! Strong words, indeed.

It may be a tough pill to swallow, but we’re all brothers and sisters in God’s eyes. We are His family. We need to start acting like it. ~OC

Sunday Hope

Today’s a new day! Living by faith and hope in the midst of a storm is hard.  There are real losses to be grieved. It’s appropriate to feel sadness, grief, and fear.

The question is, “What next?”

Jesus sits with you, lifts your head, and calls us to live with hope. Not because of our strength or ability, but because of his strength and love for us.

What is Hope?

Hope is “a feeling of trust, desire, and expectation for a certain thing to happen.”

Being trapped on a boat in the midst of a hurricane-like storm had to feel incredibly scary to the disciples. So much so, that it would seem natural to forget who was in the boat with them.

But What If I Don’t Feel Hopeful?

Sometimes we need to be reminded that what we feel isn’t ultimate. You may be on the mat in the ring, bloodied and bruised, but you are not crushed or destroyed, my friend. You may not be able to see ten minutes ahead of you in this storm, but you need not despair. You may be feeling frustration and opposition from every part of your life right now, but you are not abandoned.

Paul anchors our particular hope later in 2 Corinthians 4; he points us beyond our momentary feelings to ultimate reality.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

The dominant, momentary scripts for many are either:

  1. That what you feel is true for you personally is what is most true.
    1. What is most true is what you can see, experience, or measure in this material world; there is nothing beyond that.

But Paul, Jesus, and a Biblical view of God show that those scripts are not only too small but insufficient in the midst of crisis. They aren’t enough.

What is most true is that what you are experiencing now is but a shadow in light of the eternal glory that lays ahead of you. Take all that fear and anxiety that feels relentless; and see that the shoulders of Jesus are big enough to carry those burdens for you. What is most true is that Jesus stands not just with you but ahead of you; his love for you, the love that you know in part now, you will know in inestimable fullness one day.

You cannot always change your circumstances. But what you can do is decide what to do, right now, with the time given to you.

May God help you, help us, to live with a resilient hope in the Gospel of Jesus. Our God is the Lord of the storm, and he is with us. ~OC

Loving Your Bride

Today’s a new day! Some days, you make decisions that change the trajectory of the rest of your life.

On a January morning in 1999, I decided to attend something I had never attended before. A singles event hosted by my church. I have never been a fan of single events. That is another blog post for another day. But that beautiful morning in Palm Beach, FL, I would meet a young lady that would change my life forever. That was the day I met my future bride Laura.

Last week we celebrated our twenty-five wedding anniversary. As I have walked through this beautiful journey called marriage, I have learned a few lessons about marriage. Obviously, these lessons come from my experience has a husband.

As I have looked through scriptures over the years, looking for ways that Jesus loves the church, ways that he calls me to echo his love for me in my love for my bride, I have found several great lessons, but I will only share ten of them. God calls you, as a husband, to love your wife like Jesus loves her. I hope you will reflect and pray over the following lessons.

1). Stubborn Love:
Jesus won’t ever leave his bride. He says to her, “Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). His love for your bride is based not on her performance but on his covenant love for her. When we keep our marriage covenants through all of the challenges and changes over years of married life, we reflect his kind of stubborn, delight-filled love. May our brides know the comfort of love that says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). As everyone knows, Laura and I have had our challenges with my health.

2)Hopeful Love:
When Jesus looks at your bride, he sees her as already sanctified. This hope is anchored in the power and promise of the gospel. Paul writes to believers, “You were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11; italics mine). In fact, he sees her not only as already sanctified but as already glorified (Romans 8:30). How often would your bride say that your love for her “hopes all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7)? By keeping eternity in mind, you can have patience with your bride, just as Jesus does with her—and you.

3). Pursuing Love:
Jesus never takes a break from pursuing our bride’s heart, not romantically but persistently. In fact, he cares not only about her devotion but also her affection (Psalm 37:4). He is the tireless Shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to seek after the one (Luke 15:4–7). In a similar way, God is glorified when a husband continually seeks a deeper relationship with his bride. A husband who has been captured by Jesus’s love is an incurable romantic toward his bride.

4). Forgiving Love:
Jesus gives our bride’s grace when they do not deserve it. It may be that the most Christlike thing you can do is offer your bride forgiveness on a daily basis, remembering that you too are in need of forgiveness. The picture of forgiving love that every husband should seek to emulate is Jesus making breakfast for Peter who had sinned against him, denying him three times at his crucifixion (John 21:12–15). Is it you or your bride who is usually the first to begin to move toward reconciliation when it’s needed?

5) Joyful Love:
Jesus doesn’t just put up with your bride or grudgingly, but persistently love her—Jesus loves to love her. He delights to be with his bride. He receives joy by giving us joy (Hebrews 12:2). Wives who are loved this deeply, who know their husbands love to love them, are often an even greater blessing to others. Love your bride so joyfully that it’s obvious to her and others.

6).Serving Love
Jesus served her in life and death. There is nothing and I mean nothing, that God can call you to do for your bride that would be too much! Jesus “gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Many husbands think of themselves as kings to be served, but you and I are called by God to be the chief servants in our homes. The way to Christlikeness in our marriages is through joining Jesus in taking up the towel and the basin (John 13:12–17).

7). Sanctifying Love:
Jesus loves your bride by helping her to grow in holiness and by being her advocate before the Father (1 John 2:1). Do you encourage your bride to go to Bible study, even if it means you have to care for the kids by yourself or cook dinner for yourself? Do you regularly bring your bride before the Father in prayer? Work hard to help your bride blossom spiritually.

8). Leading Love:
Jesus leads us to what is good for us. Jesus not only loves your bride with a leading rather than a passive love, but he also leads her toward what is good (Psalm 23:2). It is impossible to lead our brides spiritually if we ourselves are not being led by God through the Word and prayer. One way you can lead her well is by seeking her input and then making big decisions (and accepting the consequences), rather than allowing the decisions and consequences to fall to her.

9). Providing Love:
Jesus provides your bride with all that she needs. Do you notice your bride’s needs, even beyond physical provision, and do something about it? Christ nourishes her, providing an environment for growth and flourishing. The apostle Paul explains to us that “in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:28). It made a marked difference in my marriage when I realized that it was my responsibility to do what I could to fill my wife’s sails

10). Knowing Love:
Jesus knows your bride better than she knows herself. He has an informed love for her. He knows her strengths and her weaknesses, and he acts on her behalf (Ephesians 5:29–30). While we will never know our bride’s like God knows them, he wants us to know them as well as we can. Our prayers for them will always be hindered if we fail to know them (1 Peter 3:7). Our bride’s know they are cherished when we make an effort to really know them.

My Brothers, we have an enemy, that ancient serpent, who desires to squirm his way into our homes and cause havoc. But praise God, we know the snake crusher, Jesus, who has already defeated him and loved us with a supernatural love. Know that when you love your bride like Jesus loves her, the foundation of your marriage is strengthened, Satan is defeated again, and Christ is lifted up for more to see. Keep loving and honoring your bride. ~OC

Choose Love Over Hate

Today’s a new day! We were taught that the direct opposite of love is hate. So does it means if we do not love someone, we actually hate that person?

Ever heard this statement; the amount of love you feel for someone is the same amount of hate you would feel for that same person? So if we love someone so much, we could hate that same person just as much.

So what is it about hatred that makes us choose it above Love?

You could be saying right now that you don’t hate anyone. Actually, just like love, hatred is in actions, in expressions. You might not go round smashing things, cussing people out, you might not even show the fictitious expression of hate we so often see in the movies, our society and so on; it still doesn’t mean you are not free from hate.

Hatred is a deep and extreme emotional dislike towards someone or a group of people. It is often associated with feelings of anger, disgust and a disposition towards hostility and often times the result of unforgiveness.

What does God have to say on the topic of Love and Hate?

You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. (Leviticus 19:17)

You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. (Leviticus 19:18)

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44)

You shall love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:39)

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you (Luke 6:27)

We hardly realize the devastating effect of hatred and how much it steals from us. Maybe because it often starts as a harmless seed sown in the heart of a person. But by the time it grows, you will be amazed how much destruction such a little seed can cause.

Let’s talk about wars, broken homes and families, terrorism, genocides, political divide, all these terrible events which have cost lives and properties and defined history, with their effects even reaching generations that were not born at the time of those events. Usually it starts as something really small, little trouble here and there. It seems not to matter at that time. However, a tiny seed can create a forest.

Think of the unhappiness and fear all around the world today, results of hatred. You may think hating one person really makes no difference, but it does.

What causes Hatred?

Fear: Often times we are afraid of things that seem different from us or things turning out differently than what we expected. Maybe a political election. Instead of being brave and facing those things, we turn to hate, feeling it is the best solution to this problem.

Jealousy/Envy: How do you react when you look around and see family or friends doing better than you and they appear to put in less effort? Your answer to this determines if you are allowing love to rule or hate.

Past Experiences/Background: Our experiences have a way of structuring our thought pattern. For example, some who have had bad experiences with a particular group of people, allow that single event to stir up hate for anyone or anything associated to that group of people.

Remember however that perfect love casts out all fear; we should not be anxious for anything but present our requests with prayers, supplications and thanksgiving and God’s peace that passes all human understanding and will guard our heart; in Christ, we are new creatures, the past is gone and we can have a fresh start.

Let’s face it, people will always hurt us, break our heart but love helps us live in peace with ourselves and others. For the world to experience peace, it needs Love.

Remember, you are never alone. ~OC

Friends

Today’s a new day! I believe we would all agree that good friendships add value to our lives. Great friends can bring out the best in us.

But sadly, we have all experienced moments in life where friends let us down. Those can be tough moments to walk through.

As I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have felt the sting of friends deciding to walk way. Those moments can lead to some of the deepest pain in life. It can be easy to get bitter about the way those friends treated me.

When walking through those moments of loss, it can feel good to get angry in those times of hurt. But by holding on to those painful moments we can end up dealing with long-term trauma. When we look at Ephesians 4:31, we read about getting rid of bitterness and anger. By allowing those harmful emotions to take hold in our lives like nasty weeds, we could potentially cut ourselves off from valuable friendships.

But when we decide to mix forgiveness with honest and open communications we can help to alleviate the pain we feel and can help walk us down the road to recovering our friendship.

In Matthew 18:22, Peter asked Jesus how often we should forgive our brother. Peter thought he was being generous when he offered to forgive his brother seven times in one day. According to human thinking, that would be quite generous, but Jesus had a different answer: “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” What?

Jesus point was not to count up to 490 offenses and then stop forgiving the one who asks for forgiveness, but to forgive always. Forgiveness should be our state of mind. It should flow from our hearts. Just as God is merciful with us when we repent, we should be merciful to others.

When friends disappoint us, mercy is not always our first reaction, but it is a response that we must learn and practice. It is important to keep perspective and recognize that we are not always perfect friends.

In this journey called life, we have definitely disappointed our friends and how did we want to be treated in those moments? A good principle to remember is given in Proverbs 18:24, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” When we keep in mind our own shortcomings, it is much easier to extend mercy and grace to others.

Before Peter asked about forgiveness, Jesus gave instructions about what to do when our friends let us down. In Matthew 18:15-20, the topic of when our friends disappoint us is addressed.

The first step is to go to our friend privately and address the issue. Hopefully they will respond positively, and further steps will not be needed.

The key to going to our friends is that we must do so in love. In Proverbs 17:17 we read, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother and sister is born for adversity.” Without first being willing to forgive our friend and striving to remember our love for them, we run the risk of making matters worse. Our hurt feelings and disappointments may come out in anger and drive our friends away.

I believe friends are to hold each other accountable. Solomon wrote about this in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” The point is not to tear each other apart, but to build each other up and hopefully make our relationship even stronger.

Once we have truly forgiven our friends and reached out to them, then the responsibility is on them to respond. Hopefully their response will be positive, and the problem will be resolved. But if not, we will have peace in knowing that we have done everything in our power to make amends.

There is joy that can come in gaining a friend back, but recognize that doesn’t always happen overnight. As time moves forward, our responsibility is to not allow disappointment to generate bitterness, but to replace that disappointment with love, grace and forgiveness. ~OC

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