Tag: Judgment

Flashing Neon Sign

Today’s a new day! As with many neurological illnesses there is nothing noticeable about my condition. It’s not like a broken leg or arm where there is a cast which is obvious when seeing the person. But I cannot tell you how many times I have heard the same old words since my diagnosis last fall, Todd, you do not look like you have dementia.

I often wonder if it comes down to the fact that people feel uncomfortable talking to me about it, so they say the first thing that comes to mind. Which at times can come across as very insensitive and judgmental. Since my diagnosis of early onset dementia caused by my Parkinson’s, I have had several people tell me I do not look or act like someone with dementia. Or Todd, maybe you’re just dealing with an infection of some kind and just need to take some antibiotics. I would be overjoyed if that was actually the case. But I have some amazing doctors and they didn’t come up with this diagnosis lightly.

What does dementia look like? There is no cast or bandage to put on it. I guess I could wear a flashing neon sign that says, “HELLO, I HAVE EARLY ONSET DEMENTIA!” that lets people know of my latest diagnosis.

But seriously, I am walking through a very new and strange season of life, but I know I am not the only one. It simply gets frustrating when people decide to find a different diagnosis or make you doubt your current state of health because they do not like the diagnosis. It can be irritating and cruel when people doubt you and your medical team. Believe me, no one wants to sit in a doctor’s office and hear the words “You have early onset dementia.”

I do think that part of this attitude is because people have a hard time believing someone in their 50’s could have an “old person’s” disease. Also the topic of dementia is not an easy or fun subject to talk about. It can be easier to just ignore it or try to explain it away.

I also believe people have their own preconceived beliefs about dementia and I and many others suffering from this horrible disease do not fit in their picture of dementia.

So please do me a favor. Stop putting your personal beliefs or opinions on those suffering from a visually invisible disease or one that you don’t like. Life with dementia is already hard enough. Thanks for listening. ~OC

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Judgement Free Life

Today’s a new day! Take time to listen to other people. People that do not look like, worship like, speak like or vote like you. Ask questions that help you know more about them. Listen with compassion. Hold back from judgement and seek understanding. When you are done listening, listen some more. Wait on God for guidance on how to respond to challenging situations and people. Dare to live a judgement free life. ~OC

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Divine Insight

Today’s a new day! Our ability to judge others requires a divine insight that we simply do not have. So do everybody (including yourself) a huge favor:  Do not judge. ~OC

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Stop Judging

Today’s a new day! If you’re ever tempted to judge another person and speak harshly of them, here are some sobering words from the Bible to ponder:

“No matter who you are, before you judge the wickedness of others, you had better remember this: you are also without excuse, for you too are guilty of the same kind of things! When you judge others, and then do the same things they do, you condemn yourself.” ~Romans‬ ‭2‬:‭1‬ ‭

Jesus was aware of other people’s shortcomings, but he didn’t stand as a self-righteous judge over them. Instead, He loved them in such a way that they strived to become better people. This is an ideal for all of us to strive for in a world that loves to pass judgment.

Shower your neighbor with love rather than self-righteous condemnation.

Shower your family and friends with understanding and compassion, rather than targeting them with resentment and anger.

Shower everyone you meet with goodwill and blessing that inspires them to be better people, rather than tearing down everything they do.

When we think badly of others, it reveals our own shortcomings. The best way to improve the world, is to start with improving our own state of thought. As we collectively love more and judge less, everyone will be better off. ~OC

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My Why

Good Morning! Here is another “Lost Writings from OC.” This was written in 2020.

Today’s a new day! Writing has been part of my crazy beautiful health journey. Writing has allowed me to see life in a different way and experience healing in many parts of my life. Writing has allowed me to experience the following:

God has put me on this earth to love and serve others. To encourage others. To hopefully inspire people to think about their own life journey.

God created me to truly experience life. To embrace the good…and bad moments of this journey. I am here to learn. Just a little advice, we should never stop learning.

I am here to overcome my physical limitations. I am here to transform inspiration into action.

I believe in living a peaceful life. Peace within myself. Peace with those I have disagreements with.

I no longer expect or demand to be understood. I understand myself. Most importantly, God understands me and still chooses to love me.

I am not alone when I connect with God and the amazing people He has put in my life. Those relationships fuel me.

I ache and grieve alongside the pain and suffering of others. I empathize with those who suffer.

I seek to overcome suffering by finding its meaning, purpose and lessons.

I no longer force my beliefs on others. I choose to show respect to those with different views, opinions and beliefs.

I choose not to be selfish. I love sharing and helping others. Serving others helps me experience God’s love in a meaningful and real way.

I choose to let God write my story, even though there are times I want to steal the pen.

I choose to be awake. To be present. I am called. I feel God’s presence within me. I can truly be me because He lives in me. ~OC

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Three Identities

Today’s a new day! During this crazy beautiful health journey, God has revealed so much to me. One of the major revelations is about identity. I believe our lives are wrapped up in three identities. I wrote this on December 20, 2018.

1). Our Identity in the World: This is about our careers, relationships, our standing in society. This identity is ever changing based on our current circumstances.

2). Our Goliath Identity: This is the voice in our head that tells us we are not good enough. We can never measure up based on our past mistakes, insecurities, or disabilities. This identity can keep us from becoming all God created has created us to be.

3). Our Identity in Jesus: In this identity, we learn that no matter what the world thinks about us, the mistakes we make, or our current situation, we are a child of God’s. In this identity, we find our true worth and purpose in life. This identity brings us peace. This is the identity we should be focused on and strive to live out. ~OC

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Not in the Bible

Today’s a new day! There is a saying in the Church and the Christian Community that has always bothered me. Maybe it’s rubbed you the wrong way too.

“Love the sinner, hate the sin.”

Not a fan.

As Christians, we can repeat that phrase quicker than we can recite John 3:16, Romans 6:23 or Psalm 137:9. I encourage you to check them out.

Here’s the problem. Jesus never said it. The Apostle Paul never wrote it in any of his letters. Moses never carved it into a tablet. King David never used it in a song.

“Love the sinner, hate the sin” is not a Bible verse. Surprise! Surprise! You can look from Genesis to Revelation, but you will never find it.

To be fair, maybe the phrase draws on some different scriptures. But you will never find the phrase “Love the sinner, hate the sin.”in the Bible.

I guess somewhere in church history, the phrase evolved into being a neatly packaged quip ready for quick and easy use.

It is like opening a packet of instant hot chocolate or preparing a cup of instant coffee; here, though, we have instant judgment.

Yes, of course, I love you, but … And off we go on the long judgment train.

It appears some Christian’s consider the saying more authoritative than what Jesus actually does say in the Bible (things like not judging others. Check out Matthew 7:1-5).

One of the issues with “love the sinner, hate the sin” is that the second part of the saying always gets in the way of the first part.

The second part of this phrase gives people the license to judge others, to hold something against someone else. That doesn’t seem like love to me.

When people use the phrase “love the sinner, hate the sin” it blocks their ability to love people God loves. This phrase brands someone as less than, not good enough or worthy enough for God’s unconditional love.

The phrase “love the sinner, hate the sin” puts condition on our love for others. I will love you, but only so far; there are limits. It makes people unable to see beyond what they consider faults or sins in someone else’s life. It makes people unwilling to see anything more than what they do not like about an individual or groups of people.

In my flawed Christian life, I will never be able to love people as God loves them, or as God loves me.

But something that Jesus really does say is, “Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.” Luke 6:37-38

In the Gospels according to Matthew and Luke, Jesus says we should pay attention to the big oak tree growing in our own eyes and distorting our vision.

We get all worked up about something that looks like a speck in someone else’s eye, but, truthfully, we cannot see much of anything with that big ole red wood tree sticking out all over our face and blocking our view.

If we actually looked at our own lives, we might discover that what we thought was a horrible speck of dirt in another person’s eye in need of removal was really just a harmless eye freckle.

So today, let’s not get so fixated on the things we do not like and make a conscious decision to just love people. Warts and all. ~OC

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Dear Christian Community

Today’s a new day! Dear Christian Community,

As I scroll through social media, I shake my head at some of the things I read from the Christian community. A community I am part of, but often cringe at the post and comments of so many Christians.

As Christians we talk about the love, grace and forgiveness of God. We love to talk about redemption. We share stories from the Bible about amazing life changing experiences involving King David, the women at the well and Saul becoming Paul. The stories bring us hope. Unfortunately, I do not always see that lived out in the Christian community. Let me share.

Recently Carl Lentz a former pastor at Hillsong NYC and his wife Laura, started a podcast called Lights On With Carl Lentz. There have only been a few episodes, but I have been blessed by Mr. and Mrs. Lentz sharing their journey. Based on some poor choices, Pastor Lentz has been out of the spotlight for the past few years. But in their podcast, the Lentz’s share how they have spent the last four years working on their marriage, family and themselves. Rebuilding the trust that had been lost. To me that is something to celebrate. There should have been articles encouraging and Pastor Lentz and Laura as they continue to heal. Instead, I have seen post, articles and videos attacking Pastor Lentz for sharing their journey with the world. The Christian community cannot talk about and preach about second chances, but only when it meets their criteria. I thought we were supposed to celebrate second chances. God loves second chances.

I do not personally know Pastor Lentz or his wife Laura. Have never met them, but I am praying God uses them in a mighty way. Praying they use their life experiences to encourage and support others walking through their own storms. Praying they embrace the second chances in every area of their lives. I for one will be rooting for them. I think God will to. ~OC

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I Didn’t Lose My Miracle

Today’s a new day! Words have power. We can choose to speak words of encouragement or words of judgment. As Christians, our heart’s desire should be to build people up and speak words of hope and love into their lives. But it seems challenging for some Christians to share those encouraging words of hope when someone is suffering from a chronic illness and they don’t seem to be getting any better. Or maybe a person experienced a healing miracle only to have another health battle hit them.

That has been my experience, as I walk through my crazy beautiful health journey. As I shared above, our words are powerful. The tongue is a mighty weapon. It can be used to share love and hope or it can be used to hurt and destroy. I have experienced both over the years. Especially in the last few years.

In November of 2019, I experienced a beautiful healing in the name of Jesus. Not to toot my own horn, but I became the toast in many Christian circles. Everyone wanted to hear my story and have me pray for them. I was blessed with many speaking engagements. Heck, a documentary was even made about my story. Everyone wanted to hang out and spend time with me. Then came February 2021. I was diagnosed with Covid and my health took a turn for the worse. Today, my health is still a major issue. Things are also different in my social life.

Some who celebrated my healing back in 2019, are now the ones who send me messages questioning my faith because I am sick again. What sin caused me to lose my healing? You must have doubt about your healing. That is why God took it away. Todd, you are not praying correctly. Sadly, I am not making this up. Let me assure you, I do not fall for any of these false teachings.

I am not invited or included in many social or ministry gatherings these days. That’s okay. I am a big boy. I am thankful for the few who look past my health issues and just see me. Those that actually live out their faith.

Here are some things God has shared with me as I continue to walk in this crazy beautiful health journey. I will continue to walk in victory.

*Keep sharing the story He has given me.

*The miracle He performed in my life on November 3, 2019 was real.

*I did not lose my miracle.

*Be bold in sharing the true Gospel.

*God will continue to use me at the hospitals, doctors offices and infusion centers to bring hope and encouragement.

*God does not owe us anything. Everything we receive from him is a gift.

*Listen for the lessons God has for us during the trials of life.

*Suffering is part of our journey, but do not let it become our identity.

*Jesus suffered most of his life. Why do some Christians believe they should be exempt from suffering?

*I am not dealing with new health issues because of sin in my life.

*Some people will not receive their healing on this side of Heaven. That doesn’t mean you have done anything wrong. That doesn’t mean Jesus doesn’t hear your prayers. That doesn’t mean you don’t have enough faith. That doesn’t mean Jesus doesn’t love you. Stop listening to people who would tell you those lies.

*I will not experience another miracle on this side of heaven.

*Who suffered more than Jesus ?

As Christians we need to be speaking words of hope and love over everyone and truly stand with them regardless of what our eyes see or how long they need us. As God brings someone to mind who is dealing with long-term health issues, take a moment and pray not just for them but about your responses to this person. Is it loving, caring and nonjudgmental? Are you speaking life and hope over them? ~OC

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In The Well

Today’s a new day! What’s buried deep down in the well, will come up in the bucket.

Translation: What is buried deep in our hearts, will eventually come out in our words and actions. So do not sleep on anger, grudges, or judgment against anyone. Do not let it take root. Deal with it in the light.

But don’t let the passion of your emotions lead you to sin! Don’t let anger control you or be fuel for revenge, not for even a day. Ephesians 4:26

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