Tag: Laughter

Don’t Live With Regrets

Today’s a new day!

I’ve often thought about something that feels both heartbreaking and unnecessary.

When I die, I don’t want people to suddenly tell the world how much I meant to them.

I don’t want long social media posts about the memories we never made.

I don’t want flowers that arrive too late, or words spoken over a casket that could have been shared over a glass of ice tea.

I want the conversation while I’m still here.

I want the phone call.

I want the text that says, “I’m thinking about you.”

I want the laughter around the dinner table, the long conversations on the porch, the road trips, the prayers together, and the ordinary moments that somehow become extraordinary simply because they were shared with someone we love.

Life is incredibly fragile.

As someone who has spent years walking through chronic illness, I’ve been reminded again and again that tomorrow is never guaranteed. We all assume there will be another birthday, another holiday, another chance to reconnect. But sometimes, that chance never comes.

One of the greatest tragedies isn’t death itself.

It’s the conversations we never had.

The forgiveness we never offered.

The hugs we never gave.

The visits we kept putting off.

The words, “I love you,” that remained trapped behind pride, busyness, or the illusion that there would always be more time.

Don’t wait.

If someone comes to your mind today, maybe that’s not an accident.

Call them.

Invite them to lunch.

Take the drive.

Write the letter.

Pray with them.

Make the memory now instead of wishing you had after they’re gone.

At the end of our lives, very few people regret spending too much time with those they love.

They regret the opposite.

They regret the vacations they postponed, the friendships they neglected, the family gatherings they skipped, and the relationships they allowed to slowly drift away.

Love isn’t measured by what we say after someone dies.

Love is measured by how we show up while they’re still living.

Jesus demonstrated this beautifully. He walked with people, ate with them, listened to them, laughed with them, wept beside them, and loved them in the everyday moments of life. He didn’t wait until it was too late to express His love.

Maybe today is your reminder.

Don’t let another day slip by.

Don’t assume they’ll always be there.

Don’t allow pride to steal another year.

Reach out.

Create the memories.

Take the picture.

Share the meal.

Say the words.

One day, the opportunity will pass.

Live in such a way that when the day of goodbye finally comes, your heart is filled with gratitude instead of regret—not because everything was perfect, but because you chose to love while there was still time.

Don’t wait until a funeral to celebrate someone’s life.

Celebrate them today. ~OC

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Dear Caregivers: Please Don’t Forget Yourself

Today’s a new day!

Dear Caregivers,

Please take care of yourself.

I know that may sound simple, but for caregivers, it can be one of the hardest things in the world to actually do.

You spend your days worrying about someone else.

Their medications.
Their appointments.
Their meals.
Their pain.
Their bad days.
Their good days.
Their needs.
Their fears.

You become the organizer, advocate, chauffeur, encourager, nurse, protector, prayer warrior, and sometimes the person holding everything together when it feels like everything is falling apart.

And somewhere along the way, you can disappear from your own list of priorities.

Please don’t.

My wonderful bride has been living the life of a caregiver for more than twenty years.

Twenty years.

She has walked beside me through illnesses, doctors, hospitals, treatments, setbacks, victories, fear, uncertainty, and more twists and turns than either of us ever imagined when we said, “I do.”

She is a rockstar.

But even rockstars need rest.

Even the strongest people need someone to lean on.

Even caregivers need caregivers.

And that’s why I want to say something directly to every person reading this who spends their life taking care of someone else:

You are not selfish for taking care of yourself.

You are not selfish for going to your own doctor’s appointments.

You are not selfish for meeting a friend for coffee.

You are not selfish for laughing.

You are not selfish for taking a walk.

You are not selfish for taking an afternoon or weekend off.

You are not selfish for asking someone else to step in.

You are not selfish for saying, “I need help.”

In fact, asking for help may be one of the most responsible things you can do.

Because you cannot pour from an empty cup forever.

I have heard the statistic that 64% of caregivers die before the person they are caring for. Whether that exact number applies universally or not, the warning behind it is very real: caregiving can take an enormous physical, emotional, and spiritual toll.

Did you catch that?

The person taking care of everyone else can become so exhausted that they forget they are a person who needs care, too.

So, dear caregiver, let me remind you of something:

Your life matters, too.

Your health matters.

Your mental and emotional well-being matters.

Your friendships matter.

Your dreams matter.

Your laughter matters.

Your time with God matters.

Your rest matters.

You matter.

Please don’t wait until your body forces you to stop.

Go to the doctor.

Take the medication you need.

Get some sleep.

Eat something.

Drink some water.

Call a friend.

Go outside.

Take a breath.

Pray.

Cry if you need to.

Laugh when you can.

And when someone says, “How can I help?”—please don’t automatically answer, “I’m fine.”

Maybe give them something they can actually do.

“Can you sit with them for a couple of hours?”

“Can you bring us dinner?”

“Can you drive us to this appointment?”

“Can you just come over and let me talk?”

Let people love you.

Because caregiving was never meant to be a one-person job.

My bride has taught me so much about love through the way she has cared for me for more than two decades. But I don’t want her—or any caregiver—to lose themselves while caring for someone they love.

You don’t have to destroy yourself to prove that you love someone.

Read that again.

You don’t have to destroy yourself to prove that you love someone.

Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you love the person you’re caring for any less.

It means you’re giving yourself a better chance to keep walking beside them.

So, to every husband, wife, son, daughter, parent, sibling, friend, or stranger who has quietly become somebody’s caregiver:

I see you.

I appreciate you.

I honor you.

And I’m asking you—please take care of yourself.

Ask for help.

Accept help.

Make the doctor’s appointment.

Call your friends.

Take the day off when you can.

Sit somewhere quiet.

Take a deep breath.

And remember that you are more than the role you have been given.

You are a human being, not just a caregiver.

You deserve to live, too.

Because the goal isn’t simply to survive caregiving.

The goal is for both of you to keep living.

So, dear caregivers…

Please don’t forget yourself while you’re taking care of someone else.

You are needed.

You are loved.

You are valuable.

And yes—

you matter, too. ~OC

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My Hope and Prayer for Each of You

Today’s a new day!

As I continue walking this crazy beautiful journey that God has placed before me, I’ve spent a great deal of time reflecting on what truly matters.

When life is interrupted by doctor’s appointments, hospital stays, difficult diagnoses, and moments that remind you just how fragile life really is, your perspective begins to change.

The things that once seemed so important begin to lose their grip.

The things that truly matter become impossible to ignore.

If I could share one thought with every person I know—my family, my friends, and even those I may never have the privilege of meeting—it is simply this:

Don’t waste your life chasing things that won’t last.

The world constantly tells us to chase more money, more success, more recognition, more followers, more possessions, and more applause.

But none of those things will follow us into eternity.

Only what we do for Christ will last.

So love people well.

Love the people who are not easy to love.

Love the people who disappoint you.

Love the people who think differently than you.

Love the people Jesus loves—which, thankfully, is everyone.

Life is simply too short to withhold kindness.

Forgive quickly.

Bitterness is a prison that only hurts the one carrying it.

Jesus forgave us while we were still sinners. As His followers, may we become known as people who extend the same grace we’ve so freely received.

Encourage often.

You never know what battle someone is fighting behind a smile.

A kind word, a handwritten note, a phone call, a prayer, or simply showing up can become the very thing God uses to carry someone through one more day.

Let’s become people who leave others stronger than we found them.

Walk humbly.

Every blessing we have is a gift from God.

Every talent.

Every opportunity.

Every sunrise.

Every breath.

Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less and making room for Christ to be seen more clearly through your life.

Trust God completely.

Not just when life makes sense.

Trust Him when the diagnosis changes.

Trust Him when the prayers seem unanswered.

Trust Him when the future feels uncertain.

Trust Him because His character never changes, even when our circumstances do.

I’ve learned that God has never once asked me to understand everything.

He has simply asked me to trust Him.

Keep your eyes on Jesus.

The world is loud.

Fear is loud.

Politics are loud.

Social media is loud.

Opinions are loud.

But Jesus still whispers, “Follow Me.”

Don’t allow the noise of this world to drown out the voice of the Good Shepherd.

Fix your eyes on the One who calmed storms, healed broken hearts, welcomed the outcast, carried the cross, defeated death, and still reigns today.

Finally, never forget this beautiful truth:

No matter what you are facing…

His grace is sufficient.

His love never fails.

His mercy is new every morning.

His peace passes understanding.

His presence never leaves you.

His promises are true.

That isn’t wishful thinking.

That is the unchanging character of God.

If my life has taught me anything over these many years, it is this:

Jesus is enough.

Not because life has always been easy.

But because He has always been faithful.

So this is my hope and prayer for each of you.

May you love more deeply than you ever thought possible.

May you forgive as freely as Christ has forgiven you.

May you become an encourager in a world desperate for hope.

May humility become your strength.

May your trust in God grow deeper with every season.

May your eyes remain fixed on Jesus no matter what comes your way.

And when your own earthly journey is complete, may your life tell the story of a Savior who never left your side, never stopped loving you, and never failed to keep His promises.

Until that glorious day, may we continue to walk by faith, love without limits, and shine the light of Christ wherever He leads us.

May our greatest achievement never be measured by what we accumulated, but by how faithfully we loved God and loved people.

And may everything we do point others to Jesus. ~OC

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The Unexpected Play

Today’s a new day! Over the years some brave and caring people have asked me “What’s it really like to live with multiple health issues that will eventually take you out.” (Insert laughter here)

After taking a moment to think about that question I shared, “It’s like your body came with a lifetime warranty, but when you read the small fine print, there is a little section that states “starts to expire once started.” My body has been under a recall for the past twenty-four years. When I call Customer Service, I am placed on hold, where a very nice voice keeps telling me to “get some rest.”

That’s just a little humor, but it’s also true in so many ways, when you’re dealing with multiple health issues that are breaking down your body. Walking through a medical journey, will test your faith, your patience and your Wi-Fi connection. You can either drown in self-pity or laugh at the absurdity of it all. I choose laughter. Because when you can’t move or think like you used to, joy has to do the heavy lifting.

See, the best medical team can study your chart, but only God knows your heart. The doctor ask, “How are we feeling today?” and I think, “You tell me — you’re the one with the fancy degrees.” But God looks past my diagnosis and says, “You’re still here. You’re still mine. You’re still fighting.”

When the nurse says, “This might sting a little,” I laugh because that’s life in a nutshell — a little sting, a little surprise, a little pain, and a whole lot of grace.

When I am in the hospital, which is often, you often hear or see a message reminding everyone to be quiet, because patients are resting. But I look around at all the beeping machines, the flashing lights, and people checking my blood pressure like I’m a contestant on The Price Is Right, and I think, “Dear God, if this is resting, heaven’s gonna be amazing.”

But seriously, I have learned something deeper through this crazy beautiful health journey called life: when your body slows down, your faith speeds up. When your strength fades, your laughter stretches further. And when life tries to crush your spirit, God uses joy as medicine for your soul.

In Proverbs 17:22 we read, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” That verse hits home for me. It’s God’s way of saying, “Keep your sense of humor, even in during the tough moments. Don’t let your spirit dry up.”

So what’s it like to truly live with the finish line always so close? It’s like sitting front-row at an audition you didn’t sign up for- but you still get to decide whether this play will be a drama or a comedy. For me, I have decided to sprinkle in a little Daniel Day-Lewis and a whole lot of Robin Williams. As I watch this play unfold, I remind myself and everyone around me that even when life isn’t very funny… you can still find the humor.

Because hope doesn’t always show up healed — sometimes it shows up laughing. ~OC

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Laughter

Today’s a new day! I love to laugh. Don’t we all? There is something wonderful about watching or reading something that makes us just laugh.

Scripture tells us that “every good and perfect gift comes from above” (James 1:17). I am pretty sure that includes laughter.

God didn’t have to create us with funny bones; we probably could have functioned just fine without them. We wouldn’t have known what we were missing if He had never designed us to throw our heads back and roar with laughter, or laugh so hard that we cry, pee ourselves or laugh until our sides hurt. I think life would be pretty boring without laughter.

Instead, God made us to be creatures capable of joy and laughter-solely because of His grace. He made it so “a joyful heart is good medicine” (Proverbs 17:22) and gave us times to laugh (Ecclesiastes 3:4).

God is infinitely more creative, kind, and brilliant that we can even begin to imagine. So today, I encourage you to laugh and be reminded of God’s graciousness, and then praise Him for it. ~OC

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Not Your Average Valentine’s Day Post

Hello. I wrote this a few years ago and updated it this morning.

Today’s a new day! So my wife and I haven’t celebrated Valentine’s Day in many years. So many that I cannot even remember when we stopped. Before you call me a hater, it’s not that we have anything against love or romance. Actual love just seems like it has become overshadowed by consumerism for Valentine’s Day. Romance isn’t about forced flowers, chocolates or expensive presents. True love isn’t defined by material gifts. No, true love is about what comes from the heart. Yes, I get that Valentine’s Day can also be about doing something special for your significant other, but why wait for that one day of the year. We should always be doing nice things and celebrating our loved one.

Laura and I celebrated twenty-five years of marriage last year. I’m not gonna say our marriage is completely perfect. We have had disagreements over the years, but we never allow the day to end with us being in disagreement. We also never take each other for granted. Choosing the right person to marry is very important but both people also need to agree to make a commitment to be intentional in the relationship and never stop working at it. I’ve seen couples who have been together for years, but don’t seem happy at all. Well it doesn’t have to be that way if you make the effort to not let the fun and excitement of your marriage slip away.

Laura and I do this by choosing love everyday in different ways. Here is just a few:

1. We always say “I love you.” before we leave the house each day. Simple, but how many people forget this simple gesture?

2. We always end each phone call with an I love you even if one of us is just calling to say we’re on our way home.

3. We make a point to always thank each other for the things we do for one another whether they’re big or small. Romantic stuff like taking out the trash.

4. We think about each other when we’re apart. Sometimes we text during the day just because. Sometimes we texted each other when we’re sitting right next to each other.

5. We make each other laugh every day.

6. We enjoy spending time together.

7. We surprise each other with little gifts throughout the year. We do not wait for special occasions to do special things for one another.

8. We support each other no matter what. We truly believe everything will always be okay as long as we’re together.

9. We realize how blessed we are to have one another and it’s not something we take lightly or for granted.

10. After twenty-five years, we still take our wedding vows seriously.

Real love isn’t just about the grand gestures because it’s the small things that add up to keep love and happiness alive. And love every day is infinitely more rewarding than celebrating love on some designated holiday. Sometimes, I think back to when we were dating and it amazes me that we’re now still living out the dream we had back then of always being together. Every day we laugh, talk, work through things and grow together. And we know just how blessed we are that our dream has become a reality and that sometimes reality is even better than a dream. ~OC 

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The Empty Seat

Today’s a new day! As I wake up on this Christmas Eve, my thoughts turn to those walking through hard times this holiday season. On this day before Christmas, some are experiencing their first Christmas season with an empty chair at the table.

This year like so many, I have experienced the loss of loved ones.

The loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, sibling, niece, nephew, friend or the tragic loss of a child creates a hole begging to be filled and a seat at the table that will remain empty.

At times these precious family members may feel deserted. By God, by life, by family and friends who don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

So what do you do for someone who is grieving on what should be one of the merriest days of the year?

I pray the following helps.

1) Your presence and words matter

Saying I can’t imagine…

Nothing more. Nothing less. Those words embrace them, their loss, and their pain, showing you care. Deeply. And you are there, for them, with them, regardless of the pain it causes you to share in theirs.

When we add words after I can’t imagine, we are likely to add our own emotions, thoughts and feelings. Just simply acknowledge their feelings, pain and loss.

I can’t imagine…yet I care. Simply be with them.

2) Say the name of their lost loved one. Hearing the name of that precious person matters and makes a difference in the healing process. Avoiding speaking the name actually hurts everyone there, so share stories, cry and laugh as you recall the amazing life of a loved one.

So say their name…

3) Pull out the pictures! Sometimes the best gift and step to healing is going through old photos or videos. The gift of beautiful memories. Never letting their life be forgotten.

He comforts us. He heals the broken hearted. God is good, even when situations are not, God is. ~Psalm 56:8

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~Psalm 147:3

So pull up a chair to the table, set a plate and name card for the one who is no longer there and let the stories and memories flow.

Let us honor the ones who have simply gone before us to where we want to be when it’s our turn – dancing and praising in the presence of Jesus.

There is hope in the midst of the sadness. We will see our loved ones again and that is worth celebrating.

On this Christmas Eve, I am thankful God sent His one and only Son Jesus to pave the way for each one of us who love Him. Yes, we miss the ones who have gone before us and left their seat at our table empty, yet we celebrate they are in Heaven. Seated with Jesus at the Heavenly Christmas Table. ~OC

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You Matter!

Today’s a new day! You may not realize it or feel it now, but you inspire people just by being you. It may seem what you’re going through right now is too overwhelming, but your breakthrough is coming. You have touched so many lives. So today is not the day to give up. Because there is somebody out there that needs your smile, your laughter and your encouraging words. They need you. So today, I want you to keeping fighting, to keep pushing through those tough moments. I want to encourage you that these hard days are just temporary. This journey called life is not always easy, but it’s worth living. Even through those tough moments. Life is better with you in it. I pray your day is filled with amazing moments and God’s blessings. ~OC

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People

Today’s a new day! As we continue to walk through this journey called life, people will come in and out of our lives.

People will come into our lives to teach us life lessons

People will come into our lives to inspire us

People will come into our lives to share truth

People will come into our lives for just a season

People will come into our lives to stand with us

People will come into our lives to try and divide us

People will come into our lives to bring us laughter

People will come into our lives to cry with us

People will come into our lives to face tough moments with us

People will come into our lives to teach us to live out our dreams

People will come into our lives to encourage us

People will come into our lives to share hope

People will come into our lives to teach to think outside of our comfort zones

People will come into our lives to help us stand up for what’s right

People will come into our lives to help challenge us

People will come into our lives to be part of our journey.

There is a reason for everyone God brings into our lives. Do not miss out on these beautiful opportunities. ~OC

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Live Out Your Legacy

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, here are some lessons I have learned along the way. I pray you will spend some time looking them ever.

Do you truly know yourself? Spend some time in self reflection. As a person of faith, I spend a lot of time in prayer asking God to reveal the good, the bad and how I can be the person that created me. I encourage each of you to find out what works for you.

Our words and actions make a difference. I personally want my life to be full of encouraging words and life changing actions. It’s simple to share a kind word or smile. Forgiveness is a beautiful gift for all parties. It brings freedom and healing.

What is the legacy you want to live out? As I continue to fight for my life, I have had a lot of time to reflect on my life. I really do not care about career or finances, even though those are important things. But as I move into the 4th quarter of my journey, I think about the time spent with my bride, family and friends. The memories made. I think about the many conversations with fellow patients as they walk through their own health journey. The encouragement, the laughs and tears. That is the legacy I want to live out. I encourage everyone to spend some time to reflecting on what legacy you want to live out.

Remember to laugh? Stop taking life so seriously. Do not allow yourself to get so caught up in work, school, ministry or life that you forget to laugh. When’s the last time you really laughed?

Sometimes there are no laters in life. People spend a lot of time saying “I will do it later.” What happens when they’re no more “Laters.” I encourage everyone to make sure your time on earth counts. Take in the amazing life around you. Not just the screen in front of your face. Stop focusing on quantity and spend more time on quality. Live well now. Let me asked you a few questions: 1). Do you have any “laters”that if you could do life over would become now’s? 2). Do you have some “laters” that have turned into “never’s”?

Here is one of my favorite quotes: “Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’ve living?” ~Bob Marley

Here is my last question: How are you living? ~OC

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