Tag: Lessons

Friends

Today’s a new day! I believe we would all agree that good friendships add value to our lives. Great friends can bring out the best in us.

But sadly, we have all experienced moments in life where friends let us down. Those can be tough moments to walk through.

As I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have felt the sting of friends deciding to walk way. Those moments can lead to some of the deepest pain in life. It can be easy to get bitter about the way those friends treated me.

When walking through those moments of loss, it can feel good to get angry in those times of hurt. But by holding on to those painful moments we can end up dealing with long-term trauma. When we look at Ephesians 4:31, we read about getting rid of bitterness and anger. By allowing those harmful emotions to take hold in our lives like nasty weeds, we could potentially cut ourselves off from valuable friendships.

But when we decide to mix forgiveness with honest and open communications we can help to alleviate the pain we feel and can help walk us down the road to recovering our friendship.

In Matthew 18:22, Peter asked Jesus how often we should forgive our brother. Peter thought he was being generous when he offered to forgive his brother seven times in one day. According to human thinking, that would be quite generous, but Jesus had a different answer: “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” What?

Jesus point was not to count up to 490 offenses and then stop forgiving the one who asks for forgiveness, but to forgive always. Forgiveness should be our state of mind. It should flow from our hearts. Just as God is merciful with us when we repent, we should be merciful to others.

When friends disappoint us, mercy is not always our first reaction, but it is a response that we must learn and practice. It is important to keep perspective and recognize that we are not always perfect friends.

In this journey called life, we have definitely disappointed our friends and how did we want to be treated in those moments? A good principle to remember is given in Proverbs 18:24, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” When we keep in mind our own shortcomings, it is much easier to extend mercy and grace to others.

Before Peter asked about forgiveness, Jesus gave instructions about what to do when our friends let us down. In Matthew 18:15-20, the topic of when our friends disappoint us is addressed.

The first step is to go to our friend privately and address the issue. Hopefully they will respond positively, and further steps will not be needed.

The key to going to our friends is that we must do so in love. In Proverbs 17:17 we read, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother and sister is born for adversity.” Without first being willing to forgive our friend and striving to remember our love for them, we run the risk of making matters worse. Our hurt feelings and disappointments may come out in anger and drive our friends away.

I believe friends are to hold each other accountable. Solomon wrote about this in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” The point is not to tear each other apart, but to build each other up and hopefully make our relationship even stronger.

Once we have truly forgiven our friends and reached out to them, then the responsibility is on them to respond. Hopefully their response will be positive, and the problem will be resolved. But if not, we will have peace in knowing that we have done everything in our power to make amends.

There is joy that can come in gaining a friend back, but recognize that doesn’t always happen overnight. As time moves forward, our responsibility is to not allow disappointment to generate bitterness, but to replace that disappointment with love, grace and forgiveness. ~OC

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Happy 25th!

Today, Laura and I are celebrating our 25th Wedding Anniversary. When you start out on this journey called marriage, your 25th anniversary seems so far away. But, as many people told us as newlyweds, time flies when you are having fun and it sure does.

We met at a singles event along the walking trail in Palm Beach, FL in January 1999. We enjoyed some great conversation and laughs, but we both did not walk away thinking that’s the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. No, that would come a little later. But not much later. But we took those first few months to pray and get to know each other better.

So in April of 1999, we got engaged. I told you it was not much later. Then on September 3,1999, we both took vows to love, respect and cherish each other for the rest of our days. Oh, we also committed to love each other through sickness and health. Little did we know what was ahead of us in that area of our marriage. I think Laura drew the short stick on that one.

As many of you know, just a few years into our marriage my health started to decline. What we thought would be a short story of overcoming health issues, has turned into a twenty-two year and counting crazy beautiful journey. One that has drastically changed our marriage and our lives. But I believe Laura would agree, it has made our marriage and our lives stronger.

As we have walked this crazy health journey, we have been surrounded by some amazing family and friends. Some of those friends have been part of our love story from the very beginning. I am so thankful for their support during our journey and for having them share in so many special moments with us over the last 25 years.

The past 25 years have been filled with some tough moments. We have dealt with issues most couples will never deal with or at least not until they’re later years. We have been told countless times, that I would not make it for another 24 hours. We have celebrated countless holidays with me in the hospital. But through all of those tough moments, we dealt with them together. And we laughed. One of the promises I made to Laura on the day we got married, was I would make her laugh every day. Even through the storms of life, I am happy to say I have kept that promise. As Laura and I have traveled this journey we realize that marriage is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. We have made our marriage a priority and kept God at the center.

As we celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary today, we count it all joy for the amazing journey God has allowed us to experience together. We know every day and every anniversary is a gift. A gift we never take for granted. So today, we will spend some time reflecting, celebrating and laughing. Always laughing. Together. ~OC

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Adversity

Today’s a new day! Are you currently walking through a storm? Maybe you just came out of a season of trials. We have all been in one of those seasons at some point in our lives. But as we deal with the different trials of life, I believe that God has placed within each of us, seeds of strength, resilience, and fortitude. We can tap into an unbeatable spirit to overcome the adversities of life.

As I have run this crazy beautiful health journey for the last 22 years, I have leaned on the word of God to help me navigate through the storms of life. I pray the following words will help and encourage you as you run your own life journey.

(1) We can run in God’s Presence. In Matthew 28:20, “I am with you always even to the end of the world. And in Isaiah 41:10, we can lean into this promise “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
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Even when we suffer adversity, we can know that we are in the presence of God. What a great encouragement and comfort to help us through those difficult times.

(2) We can learn from God’s Promises. The Psalmist affirmed that God would be with us. That he is “our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.” God promises help. Comfort. Hope. And in 1 Peter 5:7, we read “And I will care for you.” God feels our pain. He will supply our every need.

(3) We can lean on God’s Power. No matter what we are facing in life, the love and power of God is with us. Finite strength is undependable and expendable, but God’s infinite power is sufficient for every need. Indeed we are “kept by the power of God” (1 Peter 1:5)

(4) We can look for God’s Purpose. I promise you God’s purpose is not to make you miserable. The Apostle Paul said to “rejoice in the Lord” God does not send pain, problems and pressures. God is the giver of good gifts. “Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.” ~James‬ ‭1‬:‭18‬ ‭

So what is God’s purpose for us when we face adversity? That’s a big question. But for me, it has taught me to Walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7) My season of adversity as made me stronger (James 1:2-3) I have learned to focus on the eternal plan in Jesus. (Ephesians 3:11) To claim victory through his love, grace and mercy. (Romans 8:30-31).

As we continue to run this race called life, we all will suffer moments of adversity. Sometimes we will experience extreme tragedy. Yet, whatever the trials, storms and tragedies we face, we can always walk in the hope, comfort, grace, strength and love of God. ~OC

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Strength

Today’s a new day! Strength is not measured by the absence of storms, hard times and trials, but by the courage to face them head-on. To persevere and overcome the challenges in life. ~OC

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A Tradition

Today’s a new day! Like every other properly raised Southern person, today starts my favorite time of the year. College Football. It’s when you pull out your favorite team’s clothing and the next few months everything is scheduled around cheering on your favorite team. You plan your Saturday menus around college football. Games are taped so you can watch it again and again. It’s a new season and your team could win the National Championship. Hope runs through your heart and mind. College football season has started and all is well with the world. At least until kickoff. College football in the South is tradition. It’s a way of life. You don’t want to miss a moment.

For as far back as I can remember, SEC football has been a part of my life. Every Saturday since I was a kid everything revolved around SEC football and comfort foods. SEC football means one thing to me. Florida Gator Football. Over the years I have attended games at The Swamp in Gainesville, Florida. Nothing like the sounds and smells of Gator football surrounded by 90,000+ of your friends at Ben Hill-Griffin Stadium.

Now that I am grown and married, very little has changed on any given Saturday afternoon or evening in the Fall. Florida Gator Football still rules the day on a Saturday this time of year. Blue and Orange are still the colors of the day in our house. If you dare to enter, you will experience the Gator Chomp on more than one occasion.

Not sure how the rest of the country spends its Saturday, but in the South most people are planning their day around college football and cheering on their favorite team. It’s a way of life. It’s tradition. Enjoy! ~OC

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I Am A…..

Today’s a new day! Over the last few years, when people ask me if I am a Christian I hesitate for just a second. It’s not that I am ashamed of being a follower of Jesus, but so many Christians have given the word “Christian “ a bad name. So I usually answer by sharing my Mission Statement for Life which states, “I am a flawed individual chasing after Jesus.”

“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” John‬ ‭1‬:‭12‬ ‭

When I was ten years old, I asked Jesus to come into my life and was baptized. For years I would refer to myself as a Christian when asked. But in the last few years, the word “Christian” has been hijacked by a certain segment of the Christian community that looks nothing like the Jesus I read about in the Bible. So personally, I need to make the distinction between Christian and a person running after Jesus.

Because when people look at my faith, I do not want them seeing a judgmental, close minded Christian that is sadly so prevalent in the Christian community these days. No, I want anyone that God brings my way, to see someone who loves and respects people right where they’re at in life. I want to build relationships that go far beyond any differences we may have. I pray people walk away from their interaction with me feeling loved and encouraged. Also maybe with a better understanding of Jesus, who gave all on the Cross for all of us. ~OC

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Double Standards

Okay. So a few weeks ago the Christian community was up in arms about the Opening Ceremonies at the Paris Olympics. Then many Christians were upset about the Democratic Convention last week. You flooded social media with calls for boycotts and apologies. But then a video of washed up wrestler Hulk Hogan who spoke at the Republican Convention a few weeks ago surfaced threatening the Vice President of the United States with violence and not a word of outrage from the Christian community. Brothers and Sisters in Christ, I believe it’s time for some of you to check your hearts. You appear more concerned about a political party and a particular presidential candidate than you do about loving Jesus and speaking out against anyone who supports that candidate. That’s why more people continue to walk away from the Church. And can you really blame them. But of course, I am sure someone will leave a comment defending the actions of this former entertainer who supposedly gave his life to Christ earlier this year. ~OC

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Speaking in Tongues

Today’s a new day! This past weekend, I was watching a prayer gathering online, where I saw someone praying over a woman with cancer. The lady praying asked the woman dealing with cancer if she had the gift of speaking in tongues. The cancer warrior stated she did not. The woman praying then made the comment that maybe that’s the reason this lady fighting cancer had not experienced a healing. My heart broke. This is false teaching! You will not find this teaching anywhere in the Bible.

Sadly, I have been at gatherings like the one above and have seen many Christians manipulate people into speaking in tongues. They have people basically parrot what they’re hearing. This is wrong and definitely not from Jesus. He never did that. No where in scripture, do you ever read where Jesus told anyone to be healed as long as they spoke in tongues. I have been in numerous religious settings where everyone is speaking in tongues and there is no interpreter. That is not Biblical.

I have also been to religious meetings where it taught that speaking in tongues is evidence of the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Once again, the Bible does not support this. We do see in the Bible that sometimes when people received the Holy Spirit that they spoke in tongues (another language).  All believers have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and are baptized with the Holy Spirit.  All, however, do not speak in tongues.

A point I want to make here is, I believe people have the gift of speaking in tongues. Just like some people have the gift of Serving, Healing, Teaching, Leadership, Evangelism, etc. But not everyone has all the gifts. And that’s okay.

Just like with speaking in tongues, we cannot coach or manipulate someone into having any of spiritual gifts unless the Holy Spirit gives them a particular gift. Some people have been blessed with multiple gifts. And that’s awesome!

Not all Christians need to speak in tongues and not all Christians will. Once again, that’s okay.

My heart is broken, when I see people who are hurting walk away from a religious gathering feeling like they did not measure up or they did not receive a healing because they did not speak in tongues. I believe God will deal with people who preach this false gospel in His own way.

I encourage every Christian to seek a personal and intimate relationship with God. Pursue your dreams and live your life to the fullest. Acknowledge God in whatever you do and he will show you the way you should go.

You do not need to speak in tongues to experience a more effective prayer life. The Bible says that if we pray according to God’s will, then he hears us and will meet our needs. Jesus can heal that person with cancer or some other health issue who does not speak in tongues, just as easily as He can decide to bring that person with cancer who does speak in tongues home to Heaven. There is never a requirement to speak in tongues to get your prayers answered or to experience salvation in Jesus.

So today, walk in the freedom of Jesus and watch Him move in your life. ~OC

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A Milestone

Good Morning! Today I hit a milestone. Earlier this morning, I wrote my 1,000 post. Well, I guess this is 1,001. I could never have imagined writing a thousand post when I started this blog back on June 28, 2018 with the help of my amazing bride Laura and wonderful sister in love Faith. I could never have imagined that I would write and have a book published based on my blog entries.

Over the past six years, I have always tried to write what I believe God put on my heart. The majority of my blogposts have been written from a hospital room on 4 South at Good Samaritan Medical Center. My post have been about my experiences and my observations of the world as I have run this crazy beautiful health journey. A lot of the post were written long before I even started my blog. That’s why it’s a good idea to journal.

I know over the years, my writings have caused a lot of conversations. Some good. Some not so good. But they have started much needed conversations. That’s what a writer is supposed to do. Stir up conversation.

Over the years, many people have shared my blog gave them the courage to start writing their own story. Some have even published their own books. That means a lot to me.

So I will continue sharing my thoughts. I am not sure how many more post I have in me, but I will keep writing until the day comes to put a period on my journey. Thankfully that’s not today. ~OC

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What Do You See?

Today’s a new day!

What do you see in the world around you? Broken hearts, broken souls, or even lives that seem lost forever?  Some say they will never change or they aren’t worth it.

So here’s my question… If we see these things and don’t reach out with compassion and love to help their situation, are we saying they don’t matter?

Maybe we are saying it’s not my problem, or someone else will handle it. Seeing the world today makes me wonder, are we truly seeing all these things but our hearts are blind to caring for others through compassion, sharing God’s love and reaching out to see what we may do to ease the pain?

Now for those of you thinking, I understand some folks don’t want or can’t expect help.  But what about the ones who want help but don’t reach out because of judgement?  How about sharing with them that God never wants our perfect plans, He wants us the imperfect us. 

He wants my heart open to give someone hope and to show them love and joy through Him.  God’s heart beats for the broken.  If we cling to the Spirit of God, we will begin to see it is not by sight, nor by might, but by the Spirit of God.

Open your heart to those hurting and lost; show them how God loves them today, yesterday and in the days to come. He will stop at nothing to hear our broken cries. 

So I ask you to close your eyes right now, so your heart can see again.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

I pray your day is filled with amazing moments and God’s blessings. ~OC

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