Loneliness – The Blessed Overcomer

Today’s a new day! Living with a long term chronic illness can feel very isolating. As the years go bye, more and more “friends” decide the journey is too much for them to handle and they have chosen to disappear from my life. How does one handle going from a great group of friends to basically having no true friends I can really count on? Well, I am still trying to figure that out as I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey.

As I look back on my long health journey, I can remember when my phone wouldn’t stop ringing and our house constantly had people coming and going to visit with me. But as the years have passed and my health has continued to be a constant struggle, less and less people are connecting with me. If I do not make the effort to reach out to people, I literally would never hear from anyone. Sadly, that’s just the reality of dealing with a chronic illness or in my case multiple health issues. I have found that people are great when someone first gets sick. Like I mentioned above, the phone calls and visits are nonstop, but when the illness drags on people do not know how to react, so they tend to bail. So how does one handle the loss of friendships or a different type of friendship in the midst of health issues?

I am not writing this post for sympathy, but to share the reality of living with long term health issues. I am writing this for others who are walking through the same experience, but are not sure how to express their feelings.

Personally, I have tried to continue reaching out to friends and stay connected, but that is getting harder and harder as the years fly by. Also, I am getting tired of being the one always making the effort. I have tried being part of men’s groups, but for the most part that has not been a positive experience. But mostly, I have prayed that God would help me be a good friend. I have learned I cannot control who makes the choice to be part of my life. All I can do is put everything into God’s hands and continue to trust in Him.

Like I shared earlier, this is not a post to gain any sympathy, but to share the reality of living life with long term health issues. Thousands or maybe millions of people with long term health issues could have written this post. My prayer is that this post will help people understand the day to day feelings/struggles of people who are walking through a difficult health journey. Thanks for taking the time to read. ~OC

Today’s a new day! My apologies to all the ladies today. The following post is geared towards men and the importance of men having solid friendships with other men.

Today, I write from a position of painful experiences. Today, I believe God is calling me to be transparent as I share the following message.

I have tried for years to be involved in Christian men’s groups. Unfortunately, most have never produced much fruit. Several have caused pain, loss and mistrust. Even with that said, I am still open to being part of a Christian men’s group. But not one that is more concerned about a man’s social status in society than they are about the man’s heart. Not easy to find. I definitely do not want to be part of any men’s group that preaches we need to be a man’s man in the likeness of John Wayne.

In a society that celebrates rugged individualism, Christian men are often left searching for and craving connection, but unsure how to or where to find it. Men, the Bible calls us to community. In Ecclesiastes 4:9, we read that “two are better than one.” Yet so many men are struggling to forge deep, meaningful friendships with other men. I am one of those men.

The consequences are real. Loneliness among men are at their highest rates in decades. Loneliness can lead men to make some poor choices, which can ultimately lead to brokenness.

I believe for men to be better husbands, fathers and friends, we need to be surrounded by not just mere acquaintances, but by brothers who sharpen each other “as iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17).

The Bible is full of scriptures that tell us that we are all created for relationships. Even men. In Genesis 2:18 we read, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” While often shared at wedding ceremonies, this verse actually speaks about our need for companionship. Jesus himself modeled friendship, calling his disciples “friends” (John 15:15).

For Christian men, friendships should not be a distraction from our faith but a cornerstone of it. Men, we need to be surrounded by other Christian men offering accountability and encouragement.

Yet men often pursue other gods—careers, social status, or some type of hobby before seeking out true friendships.

True friendship are a beautiful gift and I believe, an important part of living a life that honors God. In Proverbs 18:24, we read those life changing words “a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” a bond that mirrors Christ’s sacrificial love. Such friendships require intentionality and spending quality time together. And not being afraid to leave the shallow end of conversations and dive into deep, sometimes hard conversations. True brotherhood is also about laughing together and enjoying life.

Men of God, the stakes are high. Loneliness and brokenness are stealing our peace, our joy and our witness. But I believe true brotherhood, rooted in God’s love, can restore each of us. ~OC

Tag: Loneliness

The Reality of the Journey