Tag: love

Along the Journey

Today’s a new day! As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, I want to continue sharing some wisdom and life lessons with you. I pray they will challenge and encourage at least one person.

Twenty-three years ago, I sat in a sterile doctors office as the doctor shared I would probably be dead within five years. As I have continued running this crazy beautiful health journey, I have heard similar predictions from many doctors. Today as I write these words, my prognosis is not great. But as I write these words, I laugh a little because God continues to let me thrive in life despite the poor diagnosis. Throughout the past twenty-three years, God has answered the prayers of many. He continues to give me a reprieve. God continues to work miracles.

During the past twenty-three years of this crazy beautiful health journey, I have learned many lessons. I thought I would share a few.

I have learned to not fear death, but anticipate it with joy.

I love the words of the Apostle Paul,

“As it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” ~Philippians 1:20-21

I believe most Christians do not fear going to be with Jesus. It’s the pain and suffering that often precedes death that makes us a little uneasy. But I think as Christians, we tend to look at it the wrong way. Most of us think that we are in the land of the living en route to the land of the dying. But nothing could be farther from the truth. If we know Jesus, we are in the land of the dying traveling to the land of the living. I have experienced amazing peace during my hardest days. I have felt contentment and surrender wash over me.

Be brave. When I open my eyes each morning, I hear God singing these words to my heart.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” ~Psalm 27:1

Most days , I deal with a lot of pain, weakness, nausea and horrible headaches. But each morning, I make the choice to get up and look forward to all that God has planned for me that day. Now that doesn’t mean I do not have rough days. I definitely do. That is why I always try to share the good and not so good parts of my journey. But I look at others who are suffering more than me and see how they do not complain and are living life with a beautiful sense of joy. I figure if they can face the pain with faith, so can I.

Let God’s Word empower you.

Speak it. Pray it. Sing it. Envision it. The more you allow God’s word to feed your soul, the stronger your spirit becomes. When I am feeling too weak to do anything, I open God’s word or listen to praise music to help me through those tough moments.

I love what the psalmist wrote in Psalm 119:92-93:

“If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have given me life.” ~Psalm 119:92-93

Remember. Be grateful. Be glad. 

As I have faced this health journey, Laura and I have decided to continue traveling and making precious memories. On the really tough days, I look at those pictures and re-live those beautiful moments. I feel so blessed to connect with friends old and new, with family, with former classmates and everyone I have met on this amazing life journey God continues to let me live. All I can do is smile. Well, I cannot really smile that well these days, but I try.

The Apostle Paul shared the following words while sitting in a prison cell:

“For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God,” ~1 Thessalonians 3:9

Embrace each precious moment. 

I have learned to not leave any words unsaid. Hug the people you love (or fist bump). To share and give freely. Leverage your time and energy for God’s purpose.

Over the past twenty-three years, I have faced death many, many times, but God allows me to keep standing. During this journey, I have learned what really matters in life: my relationship with God, my family/friends, serving others and not waiting for the perfect time to make amazing memories.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” ~2 Corinthians 4:16-18

When life gets dark, the glory of God shines brighter. I am not afraid of the valley of the shadow of death, because He is with me….closer than I could have ever imagined! ~OC

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Happiness

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk out this crazy beautiful health journey, I want to continue sharing some wisdom and life lessons with you. I pray they will bring you encouragement.

Today’s Lesson: Happiness

Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. It is a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I have breath in my lungs, I will focus on the new day and all of the opportunities it presents.

Happiness is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of life.

Here are five simple steps to living out happiness:

1. Free your heart and mind from hatred.

2. Free your heart and mind from unnecessary worries.

3. Love and Live simply.

4. Live out your dreams and purpose.

5. Give more than you take.

Have a great day filled with love and happiness. ~OC

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Life’s Journey and Lessons

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk out this crazy beautiful health journey, I thought I would share some thoughts and lessons learned along this journey. So for the next few days or weeks, I will hopefully share some wisdom and life lessons with you. I pray they will bring encouragement to all that takes the time to read my post.

The next few days or weeks, will be a reflection of the legacy I hope to leave behind for my family, friends and anyone who takes the time to read my post. As I continue to walk this health journey, I cannot control my declining health, but I can control how I deal with it and hopefully the positive impact I can have on others.

As I walk through this life, I want to encourage people to chase your dreams, embrace the challenges of life and to savor every precious moment.

Each day, I want to share a key lesson learned along the journey. Here is the lesson for today:

Embrace the challenges of life and make the most of your time here on earth. As I continue walking this journey, I have decided not to retreat from life, but instead to hopefully encourage others walking through their own life journey.

Finally, I hope and pray by sharing these life lessons, they will encourage you to reflect on your own journey and how you want to live it out. ~OC

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Lead Me Home

I wrote this piece back in 2019, but do not believe I ever posted it. The Lost Writings of OC continues.

Today’s a new day! As I continue to walk this crazy beautiful health journey, I’ve become comfortable in the wilderness moments. The ups and downs, the barren place is a place that I have spent so much time in that it has come to feel like home. I know how to operate there. I know how to encourage others that are in it. Because when you walk through enormous storms in life and God shows up in huge ways, you become changed by it. I see the beauty in the storms. The beauty that can be present even in suffering. That’s a message I believe in and will continue to share. I truly believe God is present with us in the pain and the struggle and the vast and dreadful desert. And that He uses everything–absolutely everything–for our good and His glory. Even when it doesn’t feel good in the moment. Even when it feels like a million shades of awful. The wilderness place is never where our stories end.

Over the years, I have been asked this question many times, but I often wonder if people truly want the answer. How could God allow it? Why? Why does God allow evil to happen? But when we know God and are following Him, we begin to see more of His character. This God of extraordinary love that comes through for us over and over again–in His way and in His timing and in a way that He knows is best for us. Do we want the answer if it means enduring pain is part of the process? If it makes us more like Him? If it strips us of pride and idols and all the junk that just continually brings us down? How could a good God allow it? We see the world through narrow eyes. We see the temporal things. We see just what is in front of our face at the time. And often what is there is so overwhelming–how could we possibly see anything else? But we have to take the time to look at the full picture. We have to think about how our story will ultimately end. Our God who gives us the choice of whether or not to love Him–because could we truly love Him if He didn’t give us that option? He is too big to accept that kind of response. He wants us. He wants us to love Him for who He is because He already loves us for all of who we are. And with the option to love Him also comes the option not to love Him. To travel our own path. Each of us have a will to choose, and we all at different points choose the wrong one. And the world is broken and full of pain and how do we even begin to reconcile it all? How do we accept that He is still good? He promises to be our God. Our deliverer. Our Savior. Our refuge. Our strength. God promises that we are held safely in His everlasting arms. So why doesn’t He move those enormous mountains in our paths? Why does He make us take the slow and sometimes painful climb to the top? The climb that eventually leads us up to the steepest point where we can look below and see the landscape that was always there but was just always over the next valley. This view from the mountaintop allows us to take it all in–the whole picture. The whole journey. To see both where we have come from and where we are going. The reality is, God doesn’t remove every single struggle in our path. He wants us to work through them. He wants us to put one foot in front of the other and feel our muscles trembling with every single step. Sometimes we feel like we are drowning in our struggles and our sorrows and we cry out to Him for rescue, and the tide just gets stronger. We forget that He already parted the seas for us. That our lives aren’t measured from one situation to another, but from His Son making the way for us and the forever that still awaits us. That there is another side to the mountain that we are climbing and the narrow road we walk is so much shorter than we could possibly believe. Every single step up the steep road strengthens our bodies to continue the walk home. It is hard, and it is painful, and at times we fall over and feel like we couldn’t possibly take another step. But it’s still the road home. Are we going to choose it anyway? Are you going to choose a road that is full of pain and sorrow and hurt? Because He says it is part of the path. That suffering was always a companion on our journeys. By following God’s way we are signing up for struggles and heartbreak. But would He ask this of us if it wasn’t worth it? This world is full of so much pain and sorrow, and it is far too much to bear. People all over the world struggling more than we could possibly fathom, and why does He allow it? But would we know His goodness if He didn’t? Because there is a difference between allowing something to happen and condoning it. Approving of it. And if you spend anytime in His word, you will know that God so wholly and completely disapproves. He doesn’t like it anymore than us when we are faced with a huge mountains to climb in our path–but He will use it. He will redeem it. He will show up and walk the journey with us. Because He is good, and He wants the best for us. He can see more than we can and sometimes that means the hard road. Sometimes the hard road is the only road. But I believe it’s worth it. Walking this health journey has not been easy, but I wouldn’t change it. I embrace the lessons learned. The losses endured. I will continue to walk this journey that will eventually lead me Home. ~OC

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The Day After Easter

Today’s a new day! It’s the day after Easter. It is easy to get busy with the next thing on our list or start planning for the next holiday on the calendar. But I encourage us all to not forget about Easter and do our best to keep Easter alive.

The magnificent sounds of the trumpets, organ, bagpipes, all the other instruments, and, of course, the choirs, are still ringing faintly in our ears. The colors and aroma of the beautiful Easter flowers are pleasant, but fading, memories. The company has gone home, or perhaps you yourself have returned from visiting friends and family. It was a wonderful, and beautiful weekend. But now it’s Monday and we are exhausted, weary, and perhaps feeling the effects of stress from such a busy weekend. Now it’s time to get back to the grind of another week. So much on the to do list.

It’s only been a few hours since we were together for sunrise service or in a full church service shouting “He is Risen Indeed!” We felt good and confident that, for a few moments, everything in our life seemed to be okay.  Collectively we had a sense that whatever challenges we may face in the next few days, we could come out ahead. God seemed closer and more real than he has in months, if not years.

And now it’s Monday, the day after…
We aren’t sure what the disciples did on the Monday after.  Maybe they stayed together celebrating the news of the resurrection, while keeping a low profile in case soldiers or religious leaders came looking for them. We can’t be sure what they did on the day after Easter except we know that their lives were never the same. The men who had been so timid and fearful were now becoming courageous and brave. Their moments without faith were forgiven and their new mission was becoming very clear. Easter became such a huge part of their lives that nothing would ever be the same again.

For most people the day after Easter will seem like any other day. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can keep the joy of Easter alive not just today or this week but much, much longer. Let the spirit of God fill you with faith and the certainty that hope and optimism are yours through Jesus Christ.

Do not allow the day after Easter to take away the encouragement and optimism and hope you felt and knew on Easter Sunday. The tomb was empty and as you face whatever challenges that may come your way just go back in your mind to that empty tomb. There is real power and hope and optimism there. ~OC

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. ~Psalm 42:11

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Resurrection Sunday!

On Friday morning, Jesus was crucified. On Saturday, the disciples and all who loved Jesus mourned his death. Everyone thought it was over with. It was finished! But thankfully, we know the whole story.

The first Easter Sunday Mary Magdalene and some other women who followed Jesus went to Jesus’ tomb. The tomb was empty and two angels were there. They asked the women a question we read in Luke 24:5-7:

“Why do you look for the living among the dead?  He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ 

These women had seen Jesus die on the cross. They knew he had died. What a question-“why do you look for the living among the dead?”

Jesus defeated death for us. His resurrection is proof that when he died for our sins, it accomplished the plan of God.

Jesus lives! He is alive on his throne in heaven and one day he will return.

Because he lives, we can face the problems of this life. Because he lives, we can face tomorrow whatever it brings. Because he lives, we have hope in any situation.

Happy Resurrection Sunday! ~OC

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Simply David

Today’s a new day! I wanted to take a few days before responding to the irresponsible comments made by Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. earlier this week.

Laura and I have a wonderful and loving nephew living with autism. I should correct myself and say that David is thriving in life. As a child, the doctors shared David would never talk, or be able to take care of himself. Oh, how wrong they were. Today David is in his mid twenties and will talk all day if you let him. He also works two jobs and pays taxes. David has won multiple Special Olympic Medals. He and his father volunteer weekly at their church. Everyone at church knows and loves our nephew. David is living his best life.

So when Mr. Kennedy stood before the cameras and declared that children like David “will never pay taxes, never hold a job and never write a poem, I looked on with horror. Mr. Kennedy then went on to claim autism is “a preventable disease” and promised a lightning-fast investigation to root out its so-called environmental causes. While we must look at every possible cause of autism, including environmental factors, we cannot ignore the decades of scientific research that has already been conducted.

And remember, this is coming from a man with no real medical background.

This coming from the man responsible for guiding the United States’ national health policy. Let that sink in for just a second.

What Mr. Kennedy did at that podium was spew misinformation. It was a new level of fear-mongering. It was the 21st-century version of a snake oil salesman promoting false promises with no credible science.

Let me share what autism actually looks like.

It looks like David playing tennis or pickle ball. It’s David being so excited to dress up like Spider-Man to bring some enjoyment to others. It looks like David always checking in on me during and after a hospital stay. It looks like David making Auntie Laura a sandwich or bringing her a fresh drink. It looks like David constantly looking for ways to serve others. That’s what autism looks like.

David is not a victim. He does NOT fit any of Mr. Kennedy’s cartoonish depiction of helplessness.

I realize autism looks different for every individual and family. But in my nephew’s case, he is kind, he continues to learn and he is thriving in life. David has already defied every negative prediction made about him when he was a child.

And if I have to listen to Mr. Kennedy or any other politician turn my nephew into a sound bite for political gain, I will keep using the power of my voice and the power of the pen to call out such blatant misinformation. And I will continue to encourage everyone to reject these false narratives by voting against them on election day.

My nephew is not a tragedy. And he is certainly not an epidemic. He is simply David. A young man with hopes and dreams like the rest of us.

I would encourage everyone to actually do your own research on autism and other health issues and not the words of a man who only cares about pushing his own twisted agenda. Thanks for reading. ~OC

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The Jesus Way

Today’s a new day! Here’s a little known and rather obscure fact: I have a little scar just below my lower lip. Back in my skateboarding days, I attempted to jump over several garbage cans on my board. I actually make the jump, but instead of landing in the middle of the skateboard, I landed on the back of the board. The skateboard went flying up and the tip of the board hit me in the mouth. I recall there being a good amount of bleeding.

I seldom think about or acknowledge that scar. It’s there and yet I pay absolutely no attention to it. It’s become a faded memory of days gone by.

A few days ago, I happened to notice my scar, and a thought came to my mind: “By his stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5). In that moment, I paused for a second and pictured Jesus and his nail scared hands.

I am confident that, unlike me, Jesus has never forgotten his scars. You see, His scars were chosen. His scars were willingly received. His scars were because of love.

As we are in the middle of Holy Week, I thought I would share a few thoughts as we prepare our hearts for Easter Sunday.

We know that Jesus walked his journey from a place of deep and abiding love.

We remember his dying on Good Friday, and of course we remember his rising on Easter Sunday. But, what about the events leading up to those two life changing events.

Let us not forget Thursday of Holy Week. What was Jesus doing on what we now call Maundy Thursday? He was washing feet. Yes, washing feet.

Jesus said that he came to be a servant to all.

On that Thursday before Good Friday, Jesus washed the feet of each of the disciples as one of his final acts of service before his crucifixion. He left no doubt in the minds of his followers: Humble servanthood is His way.

⁠It’s the way of Jesus that we so often forget. Think about it. Foot washing was one of the most lowly tasks. Cleaning stinky, nasty feet…that is the Jesus Way.

⁠So on Maundy Thursday, we remember Jesus as a humble servant. This puts a mark on the ways of Jesus shown throughout the Gospels: eating with the “wrong” people…healing on the “wrong” day…serving instead of being served.⁠

⁠A life of humility—this is the Jesus’ way. Not one of power, prestige, fame, or control that we see so many people chasing after these days.

No, we see humility as Jesus washed the feet of his disciples, whom he chose to call brothers.

⁠Humility. Going around the table, one at a time…24 dirty, nasty feet.⁠

⁠What was going through the minds of the disciples?⁠

⁠We know Peter protested. But what about Judas? His thoughts must have been all over the place. Judas had already sold Jesus out. Yet, Jesus still took the time to wash his feet.

⁠That is who Jesus is. Humble. Gentle. Caring. Strong. Capable. Unconditionally loving.⁠

⁠It’s the Jesus Way.⁠

⁠Tomorrow, we will remember Good Friday. It is the day we reflect on the cross and the price paid by our Savior.

What Jesus did on the Cross that Friday so long ago was about relationships. Think about that Friday for just a moment. Truly remember what Jesus did on that cross for you, me and the whole world.

⁠I believe Jesus is the most compelling figure to ever walk this earth. He willingly came down from heaven, to truly experience what it’s like to walk and live a human existence. But then, like he did with everything else, Jesus flipped the script on death and rose from the grave three days later (but let’s not get ahead of ourselves).

⁠Good Friday is the day we remember Jesus expressing his ultimate love for us. And it is the day we remember just how cruel death is. As I write this post, I remember the disciples, Jesus mother and all who loved Him did not know the whole story like we do. At that moment they only knew that it…was…finished.

⁠Where in your life right now does it seem like “it’s finished”? I encourage you to let the crucified Christ be with you in that place. ⁠

⁠Good Friday is the death before the resurrection.⁠ Take a few moments to take in the reality of this deepest kind of love.

In a few days we will come to Holy Saturday. Do not miss out on this important day of Holy Week.

For the disciples and those who loved Jesus, Saturday was a day of tears and mourning. On Friday, they saw Jesus crucified and buried. None of it made sense to them. Jesus, their teacher and friend was gone. The grief. The loss. They must have asked themselves. “What’s next?”

If you are currently walking through a tough season of loss or a stage of waiting, remember Holy Saturday and acknowledge that loss and grieving are real. That your season of waiting is real. But it doesn’t mean things are over.

The disciples and all those that loved Jesus had no clue what they were going to experience on Sunday. They were just living in their grief and loss.

But in 2025, we know the whole story. We know the story did not end with the tomb. We know the tomb could not hold the King of Kings. But for the disciples and all those who loved Jesus, that Saturday must have been a really difficult day. They did not have the promise that Sunday was coming.

Easter Sunday….A day of Rising.

I believe the following scriptures can paint a better picture than what I could write about Easter Sunday:

“But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher).” ~ John 20:11-16

“We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.” ~Romans 6:4

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
~Romans 8:38-39

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” ~Colossians 3:1-4

We look forward to hearing the words on Easter Sunday—He is risen! He is Alive! Yes, Jesus has risen indeed and is alive forevermore.

I pray everyone will take the time to reflect on Holy Week as we prepare our hearts for Easter Sunday and celebrate the resurrected King. ~OC

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The Ultimate Betrayal

Today’s a new day! On this Wednesday of Holy Week, we remember how one of Jesus disciples Judas Iscariot betrayed Him. The same Judas who had walked with Jesus and the other disciples and who Jesus loved. How could Judas betray Jesus? Let’s take a closer look.

Ultimately It was Judas’ choice to betray Jesus, but it wasn’t just one bad choice, it was a series of bad decisions. The first decision was to confer with the chief priests. The second was agreeing to their terms. And then he had to intentionally seek an opportunity to betray Jesus. 

But isn’t that how life works? One bad decision, can lead to another bad decision and before we know it, we become someone we do not recognize.

Let me stop before I end up writing a different post and let’s continue unpacking Judas betrayal of Jesus.

What did Judas get out of this betrayal? Thirty pieces of silver. In Biblical times, that was equivalent to four months wages. It was the exact price paid to a master if his slave died by an ox (Exodus 21:32). That’s all the chief priest, the elders and Judas considered Jesus to be worth. Thirty pieces of silver. While it was not an insignificant amount, it certainly wasn’t a get rich quick scheme. But did Judas really do it for the money?

As I have studied Judas betrayal of Jesus, I came across some interesting opinions. Many scholars and historians believe Judas became disenchanted when Jesus didn’t prove to be the political leader he had hoped. Judas was caught up in the narrative of overthrowing the Roman Empire. Other scholars and historians believe that the Jewish authorities viewed a rebellion as potentially dangerous for the Jewish people. Could Judas have handed Jesus over in order to prevent a larger rebellion?

While we may never completely understand Judas’ motives, we know he regretted his actions. Fulfilling Zechariah’s prophecy, he gave the silver to the temple and later hung himself in the field they purchased with the blood money. The guilt and regret was too much for Judas to handle.

While it’s easy to sit around and vilify Judas, remember, Judas isn’t responsible for Christ’s death. It was our sins that held Jesus on that cross. We are all guilty of condemning Jesus to death. I hope Judas’ shocking betrayal will remind us to question our own motives and consider where our loyalties lie. Just because someone is in ministry or serving others does not mean they love Jesus. If someone who followed Jesus so closely could turn his back on him, we must guard our hearts and minds from loving the things of this world more than we love Jesus. Popularity. Money. Political Ideology. Religious Denominations. Nothing should come before Jesus.

And let us not forget, after agreeing to betray Jesus, Judas returned to Jesus to partake in the Last Supper and have his feet washed by Jesus. Just waiting for the perfect moment to hand Jesus over in the ultimate betrayal.

So on this Spy Wednesday, let us remember how quickly things can change when we take our eyes off of Jesus and put them on the material things of this world. ~OC

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Jesus and the Cross

Today’s a new day! As we walk through Holy Week, I have been reflecting on Jesus and the Cross.

The cross is where we see Jesus at his most human, but also at his most divine. My heart breaks reading about his anguish, even though I know the triumph to come. This in itself is something Jesus understood – when his friend Lazarus had died (John 11:38-44), Jesus wept even though he knew that in a moment he would raise him to life again.

It’s emotional to read the account of Jesus‘ arrest, beating and crucifixion. My heart breaks for him when he struggles with God’s will and yet accepts it. Even when an angel appears and strengthens him, Jesus is still in anguish and “he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” (Luke 22:42-44).

And Jesus went through all of this for you and I. While we were yet still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). This is what the cross means. This is what Jesus’ suffering means. His anguish, his pain, his fear, his sorrow – Yet He took our place.

Even though I know what happened next, I still feel the sting of shame that it was my sin that put Jesus on that Cross.

As I have been reading the accounts of Jesus death the last few days, something stood out to me. Something I really had not given much thought to, but on this Holy Week it caught my eye. Or maybe my heart. Jesus, on the road to his own crucifixion, having accepted the will of God, even though his body was broken, was forced to accept the suffering of another on his account.

As we read in scripture, a man named Simon of Cyrene was ordered to help carry the cross as Jesus was struggling (Luke 23:26). No easy task. The crossbar of the cross is estimated to have weighed around 70-90 pounds and the whole cross weighed between 220-300 pounds. Even carrying the crossbar would have been a struggle for this man named Simon on a long journey through jeering crowds along hot dusty roads to the crucifixion site – but the whole cross had to be so much more of a struggle. And Simon must have tripped and strained and stumbled his way behind Jesus. And Jesus, walking in front, knew this man Simon was there. And knew he must have been suffering.

If I was Jesus, I probably would have felt some shame. Shame for the pain Simon was enduring after being randomly picked out of the crowd and forced to suffer because of me.

But this is where again we remember that Jesus was fully human. He felt what I feel when I contemplate the cross. He knows and understands us and our emotions so well – because he felt them.

And this is where I remember not to stay in my shame. You see, shame can be a catalyst to change the heart. Shame is never a place we should live. But because I am aware of my sin, I feel shame. That shame should give me the initiative to breathe life into my faith with deeds – deeds of gratitude and obedience to the one who saved me, the one who gave everything for me.

This shame should lead us to a gratitude deeper than any ocean. Jesus hung on that Cross for me – for all of us – while we were still sinners. While we didn’t know him, while we ignored him, while we held him on the cross with our sins. The expanse of God’s mercy is breathtaking.

Jesus, our Savior. So human. So divine. It’s unfathomable. And yet we can see these little glimpses in the gospels of the state of his heart, which in turn helps us to understand the glory of his divinity.

I encourage everyone to spend some time reading the accounts of Jesus crucifixion this Holy Week. Truly hear his words. Feel his pain. And remember his glory. Because Jesus actions are about the glory, not about the shame. Let your shame lead you to gratitude, as we celebrate Easter this coming Sunday. Let us bow down and worship at Jesus feet, because He deserves our everything. ~OC

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