Tag: Marathon

A Peacemaker

Today’s a new day! Would you consider yourself a peacemaker? Or maybe an aspiring peacemaker? Let’s talk about truly becoming a peacemaker.

First we must look at the difference between a peacemaker and a peacekeeper. There is a big difference. A peacekeeper dodges conflict, while a peacemaker creates peace through action. It’s about actively pursuing peace, not just avoiding conflict.

Steps to becoming a Peacemaker: We must cultivate the Fruit of the Spirit by tending to the garden within our soul. As each fruit blossoms, the transformation into a peacemaker becomes increasingly evident. 

Peacemakers follow a heavenly blueprint – The Fruit of the Spirit.

*Love – The journey to becoming a peacemaker starts with love. Not the mushy kind we see in a Hollywood Romcom, but the enduring, selfless love that the Spirit plants in our hearts. Cultivate this love by surrendering to Jesus daily. Let His love fill us, making it the driving force behind our pursuit of peace

*Joy – Peacemaking isn’t a cheerless task; it’s an adventure filled with joy. Seek joy in the process of reconciliation. Find delight in seeing broken relationships mended. Joy is the fuel that propels us to actively engage in conflict, knowing that the end result is worth the effort.

*Peace – Before extending peace to others, let it rule in our own heart. As we reflect on Philippians 4:7, we see God’s promises that His peace, surpasses understanding and guards our hearts. We have to make the decision to surrender our worries to Him and let His peace reign within. We must embrace the truth that God’s peace is eternal and not dependent on external circumstances.

*Patience – Peacemaking is a process, and patience is a virtue we must hold onto. Understand that conflicts may escalate before we experience a resolution. We must plant seeds of peace, and be patient as God orchestrates growth in His time. A harvest of reconciliation is sown in patience, trusting God’s timing. Peacemaking is usually a marathon, not a sprint.

*Kindness – Peacemakers wield the tool of kindness. Actively listen, understanding the perspectives of those in conflict. We must be kind in our response, even when disagreements arise. Kindness bridges gaps and creates an environment where reconciliation can flourish.

*Goodness – We must stand firm in goodness as we navigate conflicts. Uphold moral excellence, seeking God’s truth before diving into the messy work of peacemaking. Goodness ensures that our efforts align with the principles of righteousness found in God’s Word.

*Faithfulness – Peacemakers are faithful in their commitment to reconciliation. Standing by those in conflict, supporting them through the journey. We must be faithful to God’s truth, allowing it to guide our actions as we actively pursue peace.

*Gentleness – Picture a peacemaker as a gentle boat captain navigating through turbulent waters. Be slow to speak, quick to listen, and respond gently. Disarm hostility with grace, creating an atmosphere where reconciliation can thrive.

*Self-Control – Finally, self-control is the steering wheel of peacemaking. In the heat of conflict, we must exercise self-control. We must resist impulsive reactions, and let the Holy Spirit guide our responses. Self-control ensures that our actions align with the path of peace.

A Peacemaker acts like a gardener tending their garden. Let me explain.

Love serves as the fertile soil, nourishing the roots of empathy and compassion.

Joy becomes the sunlight, infusing our spirit with positivity and resilience amidst conflicts.

Peace, the central fruit, exhales as a vibrant bloom, calming the storms within and radiating tranquility to those around us.

Patience acts as the steady hands pruning away haste, allowing relationships to flourish in their own time.

Kindness and goodness become the petals, adorning our character with grace and moral excellence.

Faithfulness is the sturdy stem anchoring our commitment to reconciliation.

Gentleness unfolds as the delicate touch, smoothing over rough edges and fostering understanding.

Finally, self-control acts as the vigilant gardener, ensuring that our responses align with the path of peace. In this transformative process, the Fruit of the Spirit becomes the essence of our peacemaking journey, blossoming into a radiant garden of harmony and unity.

So there you have it: The Fruit of the Spirit as the blueprint for becoming a peacemaker. Let love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control be the seeds we plant in the garden of conflict, trusting God to bring forth a harvest of peace. May our journey be fruitful, and our efforts bring glory to the ultimate Peacemaker…Jesus.

Let me finish with a simple prayer:

Dear God, We come to you today asking for your guidance on our journey towards becoming a peacemaker rather than a peacekeeper. Help us grow in the Fruit of the Spirit so that we can actively contribute to creating lasting harmony. Fill our hearts with a love that seeks reconciliation and understanding.

We pray for your strength, wisdom, and grace as we navigate the path of peace. Guide our thoughts, words and actions. May they come from you. Amen. ~OC

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Jesus and Power

Today’s a new day! Have you ever thought about or asked the question “Why didn’t Jesus ever use his power for personal gain?” I mean you look around today and sadly there are many examples of people using their power for personal gain.

Think about it. Jesus is stronger than the Strongest Person on Earth. He has more ups than Michael Jordan. Jesus is faster than Usain Bolt. He would dominate March Madness. Jesus had the ultimate power. There was simply nothing He could not do if He wanted to.

Could Jesus have used His power?

When I first started my relationship with Jesus many, many years ago, I often wondered why He did not use His power more. I mean, I knew He worked miracles. He walked on water, turned water into wine, and even raised Lazarus from the dead.

It’s not like He could not use his power at all. Clearly, God did not tell Jesus to hide His power. So if that is the case, why didn’t he use it more often? As a child, I could think of so many different ways He could have used it.

As a child, I thought Jesus could have used His power to defeat the playground bully. He could have won every sporting event he ever entered. Oh, the imagination of a child.

As an adult, Jesus did not have to be a simple carpenter. He could have been the most successful business person ever. Jesus could have risen to the top of the political structure of the time. He could have even defeated the Roman army single-handedly and taken over the world. But He chose not to.

As a child with a lively imagination, I could come up with endless ways Jesus could have used His power. As a child, I used to ask why didn’t Jesus use His power to escape the torture of the cross?

Jesus had an eternal perspective.

Now, many decades into my walk with Jesus, I can see how silly my questions were. What seemed so elusive at the time is an answer that is all too obvious to me now.

You see, Jesus had an eternal perspective. He came from heaven to earth for only thirty-three years and with a very specific purpose. Jesus knew before He came that He would return to heaven. He knew that anything material He gained on earth would be left behind upon His return to His throne.

Jesus Purpose Was Bigger

Jesus never used His power to win fights or contests because those things did not align with His purpose. He never spent time seeking wealth, success and power because He knew all those things were fleeting. Jesus knew it was worthless in eternity and promised little comfort during His time on earth.

Jesus always avoided political and military entanglements because His perspective was even bigger than those around him could imagine. And most of all, He submitted to the cross because the lives of those He would save as a result were infinitely more valuable than the value of His additional time on earth.

I Continue To Be Humbled

When I reflect on my life and look at all the time I sought after things that truly didn’t matter, at the expense of eternal gain, I just shake my head. Maybe you are different, but I am almost embarrassed to put these thoughts out here on the blog…and would not, except for the hope that someone else will gain from my weakness and transparency.

We should be exchanging what this short-term world has to offer for the eternal reward that Jesus offers us. We should be sacrificing our comfort today for the promise of our future in heaven.

So many of you are doing this very thing. You are actually being the hands and feet of Jesus. At the same time, others are silently thinking about how they could be more committed.

It’s Never Too Late, The Time Is Now

I want to encourage everyone to never quit. Do not give up simply because you feel you have failed in one area or another (or in multiple areas). Today, take the time to ask Jesus for renewed strength and wisdom to trust Him to lead you. Jesus will never leave you or forsake you. Keep leaning into all that He has for your life. ~OC

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Today’s A New Day!

Today’s a new day! As I have run this crazy beautiful health journey for the last 23 years, I make a daily decision that helps me through each day. I believe it can make a difference in your life. And it’s free! Here it is… Today choose to be positive. Today choose to surround yourself with positive people. Today choose to look at the positives instead of dwelling on negatives. Today choose to live a positive life, even when the world is throwing a major storm your way. That does not mean you ignore those storms, but you choose to take a different perspective in dealing with those storms. I believe by choosing to be positive and surround yourself with positive people, you improve your quality of life.

I pray your day is filled with amazing moments and God’s blessings. Have a great day!~OC

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Life With Chronic Illness

Today’s a new day! What do you do when you don’t get better?”

I became chronically sick twenty-three years ago, after being diagnosed with several types of crippling arthritis. It would be a year later after taking many experimental medications, that I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Then over the years, I would be be diagnosed with the following: Young Onset Parkinson’s, Myasthenia Gravis, Gastroparesis, Covid Long-Hauler, Complex Headaches, and recently Early Onset Dementia. Oh, and a stroke several years ago. It truly has been a crazy beautiful health journey.

I became a Christian when I was ten years old. I will be the first to admit, I did not always live the Christian life in my early teenage years. When I first became ill, some people in the Christian community began to weaponize their faith against me. They would say that I wasn’t faithful enough, or that I must have some type of unresolved sin in my life. Sadly all these years later, I still have some Christians screaming that in my ear on a weekly basis. At times over the years, I felt judged and disliked by many in the Christian community. That is never how Christianity, or any faith, should be. For me, it wasn’t just what conversations were being had—but also how.

The sad part is that the people who wanted me to not lose faith tried to make it harder to connect with God and other Christians. Some people over the years have made the excuses, “Well they mean well.” I truly do not believe that. I believe it actually shows their true heart. I am thankful that during this crazy beautiful health journey, God has surrounded me with some amazing people who have helped me through this difficult season. I am also thankful I have never lost my faith during this journey.

As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, my goal is to not allow those negative voices to have any influence on my life. I also decided early on in my health journey to help others walking through their own health journey.

I share all this because I know that I’m not alone, and I want others to know that they aren’t either. When you’re feeling attacked, beaten up, remember that God loves and is with you. I am sorry if anyone has made you feel like that isn’t the case. What people believe is their choice, but no one has the right to weaponize their faith. That sort of human hurt harms those in the disabled/chronically ill community that may be struggling with their faith.

In Isaiah 54:10 we read, “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the LORD, who has compassion on you.” Being chronically ill can very much feel as if everything is being shaken up and changed—at least that’s how I have felt at times over the years.

I no longer know what each day will feel like, physically, let alone have a clue about what I may be able to do in the future. But God’s love doesn’t change when we are in tough situations (or any situation.) He is still with us. He knows the truth of our situation and still loves us.

Some passages that resonated with me, and may be appreciated by those reading this post, are those about us being fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139: 13- 14), Psalm 86-15, and Ephesians 1:5-6. That is about YOU. You are loved beyond words. Think about John 3:16. That’s not just for the able bodied and minded, it’s for ALL of us.

If you can relate to anything I have written, the following are a few things that have helped me. Just remember this journey is different for everyone.

*Don’t bottle things up. I encourage everyone to find a trusted friend, pastor, counselor or support group to share your feelings with. It may be difficult at first, but I promise you’ll be glad you did.

*Take this current season of life slowly. Remember, life is a marathon not a sprint.

*Do not give up on the Christian community or the Church based on some misguided people. Remember, there are no perfect people or churches.

*Find out what works for you in your journey with health issues and your walk with God. One size doesn’t fit us all.

*Spend time in the Bible and listening to worship music. Both have helped bring peace and clarity to my life during my health journey.

* Remember, sometimes God does not give us quick answers to our prayer request. I encourage you to embrace the lessons God is trying to teach you during this difficult season. All of us whether healthy or chronically ill have a different journey. If chronic illness is currently part of journey, you are just as worthy as anyone else. Please embrace that truth today.

I hope and pray this post will encourage and challenge everyone who has taken the time to read it. Thank you! ~OC

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Run Your Race!

Today’s a new day! Here is another “Lost Writings of OC.” This was written in 2018.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. ~Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭

My feet hit the ground in a slow, steady rhythm. I am not fast. But I like how stress rolls off me along with the sweat from my forehead, the way my favorite songs match the beat of my heart and the satisfaction of discovering I am capable of more than I first thought.

The sky is a beautiful blue, filled with sunshine and I am content…until I see another runner out of the corner of my eye with a smooth, speedy stride I can hardly fathom. And suddenly I feel like I am not doing anything right. Have you ever experienced those feelings?

You love the social media post or blog post you wrote until you see someone else’s got more likes for their post.

You think your life is just fine until everyone flocks around the new, cool kid in town.

We can so quickly shift from focusing on “the race marked out for us” (Hebrews 11:1) to comparing ourselves with someone else. And as every runner knows, where your eyes go your feet (and heart and life) will follow.

The cure to comparing is considering. We’re to fix our eyes on Jesus and “consider” all He went through for us (Hebrews 12:3). In other words, if we’re going to focus on a path besides our own then we’re to think about the one that led to the cross. Because that changes everything.

Instead of what we don’t have, it reminds us of all we have been given.

Instead of how we do not measure up, it reminds us of the limitless grace that’s ours.

Instead of self-pity, it gives us a reason to lift our hands and hearts in praise and worship.

So today, make the choice to run the race designed just for you. Embrace it and boldly live it out. ~OC

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Be Your Own Best Healthcare Advocate

Today’s a new day! I have been what my bride calls a “Professional Patient” for almost twenty-three years now. During this journey, I have encountered health professionals who appeared to be more concerned about egos and status than they did my well-being. For some medical providers, I was just a name on a file who happened to have very good health insurance coverage. They knew more than me because they had the title of Doctor attached to their name. Being so foreign to how the world of healthcare worked, Laura and I just went along with whatever the doctors or medical professionals directed us to do. They’re the professionals. They know what’s best for me. Right? In the famous words of Lee Corso from GameDay on ESPN, “Not so fast my friend.”

As Laura and I began to navigate this new world called the healthcare system, we found out that the most important voices were our own. If we did not stand up for my medical needs, who else would? That’s when we realized we needed to become not only our own healthcare advocates, but we needed to help other patients walking through their own crazy beautiful health journey. We recognized being a “Professional Patient” was actually a full time job.

Over the years, we have had to privately and sometimes publicly voiced some of my medical concerns. Which is not naturally part of my DNA. Or so I thought. But this is my life and my health we are talking about. As Laura and I have weaved our way through the world of health challenges, here are some of the most important pieces of advice I believe I can offer for those walking through their own health journey.

* Do not wait to speak up and share your thoughts and concerns. You know your body better than anybody else. If something doesn’t feel right or sound right speak up. If your medical team truly cares for you they will welcome this dialogue.

*Do not be afraid to get a second or third opinion. This is your life. We only get one.

*Do not be afraid to change doctors or hospitals if needed. Find a medical team that you truly feel has your best interest at heart.

*Have a great support system that can speak up on your behalf when you are unable to.

*Never stop learning about new treatments and medications that pertain to your health issue. Do not hesitate to share that information with your medical team. Once again, if your medical team cares for your well-being they will welcome those conversations.

*Take the time if your health allows, to help someone else navigate through this overwhelming healthcare system .

*Remember, it’s called practicing medicine for a reason. Your doctor and medical staff are human. Mistakes can happen. Allow those to be a teaching moment for all parties involved. Be kind and respectful, but firm.

*Be patient with yourself and your medical team. The healthcare system can be messy, stressful and complicated. Do not be afraid to show a little grace to yourself and others.

I really hope this helps someone navigating through a maze called the healthcare system. Be Your Own Best Healthcare Advocate. ~OC

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A Day In The Life

Today’s a new day! Ever wondered what a day living with chronic illness and health challenges looks like? Today I will take you on a journey into the twist and turns of a day living with long-term health issues.

From the moment I wake up, I’m already facing barriers. My chronic illnesses make it difficult to get going. For those not aware, based on my health issues, I have slept in a recliner for about the past twenty years. It’s just too hard to get in and out of a bed. Every day is a balancing act where I have to be mindful of my energy levels and make sure that I’m taking time to rest. 

An Introduction To My Health Journey:

In 2002, I was diagnosed with multiple forms of arthritis. That year was filled with a lot of experimental treatments. Then in 2003, I was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully I was able to have surgery to remove the tumor and never had to walk through the struggle of chemo and radiation. Let’s speed things up. From 2007-2024, I have been diagnosed with Parkinson’s, Myasthenia Gravis, Gastroparesis, Type 2 Diabetes based on all the steroids, had a stroke, diagnosed with cluster headaches and just a few months ago was diagnosed with early onset dementia. That’s my rap sheet!

What My Night and Morning Looks Like :

Based on my neurological issues, I am up and down most of the night. So I never wake up feeling rested. I wake up stiff, so I need to move around and take a host of medications in the morning. Of course meds have side effects, so that can be difficult.

Since I deal with gastroparesis, eating has been a major issue for many years. That makes taking in fluids and food a huge and painful task. So every meal, every day is an adventure.

My mornings are dedicated to spending time with God, journaling and trying to exercise. For me, walking is the best type of exercise for me. I never know how many laps I will be able to get in. I have to be careful not to overdo it. If I do overdo it, my body will pay for it the rest of the day. I spend some time each day for reflecting on life and looking at how I can hopefully encourage others as I continue running this journey. These days, I tend to take a lot of short cat naps. Over the last year, the pain has increased, so that’s a daily struggle. Unfortunately, pain meds and gastroparesis do not really care for each other. So most days, I just live with the pain.

One thing I choose to do everyday is get dressed. I never lay around in my sleeping clothes. It makes me feel good to get cleaned up and get dressed.

My favorite part of any day is spending time with my bride and friends that choose to reach out. Spending time with loved ones is very important to me. I love sitting around and enjoying great conversations. Also, I try to read every day. My love for reading has been challenging the last few years, since it’s hard to stay concentrated. I also spend time listening to music each day. Music can make everything a little bit better.

In the evening, Laura and I like to talk about our day and possibly watch a little television. Based on my day, my bedtime varies. But since I sleep in my recliner, I can fall asleep anytime my body and brain allows me to. Every night is an adventure.

What I consider a daily self-care must do:

Writing about what I’m grateful for in my journal helps me remember the positives, even on those really hard days. Living with long-term health conditions can be exhausting and can be very negative if you allow it to get on top of you. 

Several people have asked if I had one day without pain and could step away from my health journey what would I do?

I would lace up my running shoes and go for a very long run. For those new to my journey, in my healthier days I was blessed to complete 350 marathons.

Another question people asked me a lot: Is there anything I would like to share about daily living with chronic illness and life challenges?

There’s a lot, but I do not want to make this post any longer than it already is. One of my hopes is, people will realise that we never know what someone else is really going through. So be kind and respectful. It doesn’t help when people tell me how I should be living out my health journey. Just be supportive and walk through this journey with me.

By sharing what my day to day life is like, I hope I can raise awareness of the bigger picture as people only see snippets of my journey online or see me on my best days in person. I am not sharing this for pity or sympathy and I am not complaining. I just want to give you some insight into this crazy beautiful health journey.

The Takeaway:

Writing about my day living with chronic health issues has been quite eye opening to me to see how much life has changed over the years. I have a strong need to celebrate the love and support I have received over the years from family and friends. Writing this post has let me see how faithful God has been to me, as I continue to run this beautiful journey.

I hope that you have found this post to be a helpful insight into life with with long-term health issues. There are so many people walking through a tougher battle than me. So if you know someone dealing with chronic illness, take the time to reach out to them and support them on their journey. ~OC

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Someday….

Today’s a new day!

Someday when the kids are grown…
Someday when I’m financially stable…
Someday when my life isn’t so crazy…
Someday when I feel like my family/ friends approve…

Someday when (fill in the blank with your reasons), I’ll follow this big dream that God has given me.

Sometimes God gives us a glimpse of what’s to come and we need to wait on His timing. We may have lessons to learn first. Or maybe there are things that need to be put in place before it’s time.

BUT..
When God says, “Do this…”, our only response should be to pray for guidance and obey.


Let me tell you a bit of my story…

I had been on my crazy beautiful health journey for several years when I began to feel very strongly that God had something more than just being a patient. That God could use me to pray for and encourage other patients walking through their own journey. I did not have the full picture at the time, but I knew that God had a beautiful plan for this journey.

As I spent more and more time in the hospital, doctor appointments and treatments, I began to see God using me and my story to reach other patients who were being overwhelmed by the day to day struggles of their health journey. Fellow patients were reaching out to me to share their stories and I was blessed to pray for them.

Over the past twenty-two years, I have been blessed to walk with many patients. I have watched some experience healing from their medical battle and I have seen some experience the ultimate healing by walking into the presence of God.

This amazing journey started with me looking past “Someday.” Someday when my health improves. Someday when I have all the answers. Someday when I am more qualified.

When God called me to walk with and help others walking through the medical world, I was not qualified, but I was willing. I did not have all the pieces to the puzzle, but I knew the One who did. All God wanted from me was a “Yes.”

“Yes” because God was so clear about my next step (He confirmed it in multiple ways) that I knew this was His will for me.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalms 119:105

I do not know what God is calling you to, but I encourage you to trust in Him with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. 

When God says, “Go!” You need to go. Even when it’s scary or doesn’t make sense to the world.

Being in step with God’s plan should always be our goal. It will not always be easy or seem “perfect” to us but we need to trust that He knows what He’s doing. Just keep leaning in and say yes. ~OC

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A Beautiful Gift

Today’s a new day! It’s only been a week since I was given the diagnosis of dementia. But the symptoms have been showing for a number of years. Since my diagnosis life has been filled with many phone calls and text from concerned family and friends. I appreciate them all. In the past week, here are some things I have thought about as I begin my journey with dementia.

My dementia diagnosis does not define me. Although the diagnosis is life changing, I will not allow it to change who I am. I will fight that battle for as long as I can. I will continue to love people the way I always have. Probably a little more. I totally understand dementia is a progressive disease and I may not be able to do all the things I once did, but I want to continue doing the things I enjoy for as long as I can.

If you want to know how I am doing, just ask me. The sudden change in how others communicate with me since my diagnosis has been a little frustrating. Trying to avoid conversations about my diagnosis of dementia will only make me feel uncomfortable and isolated. I am still me. For now.

Yes, the diagnosis is correct. I wish it wasn’t, but it is. Younger people can be diagnosed with dementia. While the vast majority of people are affected by dementia at an older age, the disease can affect younger individuals. If you have concerns about your own cognition, I encourage you to get checked out regardless of your age.

Please don’t debate my diagnosis or tell me I don’t look like I have dementia. Do not attempt to dismiss the diagnosis. Those responses can be offensive. It is hard enough to tell someone I have dementia , let alone having to defend it. You may not see my dementia, but I live with it every day.

Please understand that sometimes my words and actions will not be the true me. It’s the dementia. As the disease progresses, I might deal with anxiety, confusion and a host of other issues. There are days I may want to sleep more. Remember, I am still me, just a little different.

My dementia diagnosis does not mean my life is over. I plan on continuing to live an active and memory filled life as long as possible. Laura and I plan on continuing to embrace life to its fullest.

So please keep reaching out and treating me the same old way. Social interactions are very important to my wellbeing. So do not be afraid to call, come by the condo or plan a time to meet. My life continues to be a beautiful gift. ~OC

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Life with Friends

Today’s a new day!

“This is my commandment: that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.” – John 15:12-13

The words from this gospel of John make me realize how blessed the bond of friendship are. However, I wonder how often we recognize how the love shared between friends reflects the love that God shares between each individual person. Additionally, I wonder if each of us realizes how difficult friendship can be.

It’s interesting to see that the gospels do not always paint a flattering picture of the friendship between Christ and his apostles. The Gospel of Mark consistently depicts Jesus struggling with the apostles, who fail to comprehend his message. In chapter 6 of Mark, Jesus calls these twelve men together to follow in his example of teaching God’s reign in the surrounding villages and gives them power over unclean spirits (6:6-7). However, Mark also writes that the apostles were unable to understand Jesus’ great power demonstrated in the miracle of feeding of the five thousand because “their hearts were hardened” (6:52). Additionally, the gospels of Matthew and Luke also depict the rocky and challenging moments in Jesus’ friendship with the apostles. Jesus chides Peter for trying to prevent Him from traveling to Jerusalem to enter into his Passion, saying, “get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block for me…” (Matthew 16:23). Finally, Luke shows that Jesus is exasperated with the disciples even after his Resurrection, when he calls Cleopas and the other disciple walking on the road to Emmaus “foolish” and “slow of heart” for failing to understand the meaning of His suffering and death, predicted first by the prophets (Luke 24:25).

How often do we find ourselves angry or frustrated at our friends because we want them to understand us in our words and actions? These brief scripture passages illustrate that sense of frustration. The Son of God enters into a world that struggles to recognize God at all, let alone when God is immanently present in the person of Jesus. Yet God loves this world so much that God freely gives God’s self to us in friendship through Jesus, despite the risk of being misunderstood, mistreated, and maligned. That is the blessing, and the risk, of friendship. We give ourselves in vulnerability to one another without knowing whether or not we will be loved and accepted as who we are.

However, friendship highlights our own vulnerabilities within ourselves and reveals our inherent desire for one another. My friends and I are not always laughing and joking; we meet each other in our brokenness and reach out for each other in our tears. They challenge me to consider new perspectives that de-center me from my own perspectives. Sometimes we get frustrated and do not understand each other. But our friendships exude love for one another because we recognize how incredible it is to simply find someone else. When we discover one another in truth and love through friendship, we choose to give of ourselves to that person.

Which leads me back to the quote from John above. I believe what Christ is trying to tell us is that friendship is the unspoken commitment of two people who recognize each other’s vulnerable, imperfect humanity and choose to love anyway. Jesus commands us to love each other as he loved us because he continued loving the world amidst rejection, sin, and death. He laid down his life to show us that the bond of friendship is at its strongest when we pour ourselves out to another. When we give of ourselves to each other, we glimpse into the eternal love that Christ promises us through his life, ministry, death, and resurrection.

This understanding of friendship creates friends who, like Jesus and the apostles, are unafraid to continue loving and challenging us. These friends will always reach out to us in our happiness and our sadness. These types of friends will always be there to take us down from our cross and lay us to rest, and wait for us to rise to new life, even if they don’t always believe it’s going to happen. And these friends will continue to believe in us, long after we have moved on from this world. ~OC

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