Tag: Memories

The Empty Seat

Today’s a new day! As I wake up on this Christmas Eve, my thoughts turn to those walking through hard times this holiday season. On this day before Christmas, some are experiencing their first Christmas season with an empty chair at the table.

This year like so many, I have experienced the loss of loved ones.

The loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, sibling, niece, nephew, friend or the tragic loss of a child creates a hole begging to be filled and a seat at the table that will remain empty.

At times these precious family members may feel deserted. By God, by life, by family and friends who don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

So what do you do for someone who is grieving on what should be one of the merriest days of the year?

I pray the following helps.

1) Your presence and words matter

Saying I can’t imagine…

Nothing more. Nothing less. Those words embrace them, their loss, and their pain, showing you care. Deeply. And you are there, for them, with them, regardless of the pain it causes you to share in theirs.

When we add words after I can’t imagine, we are likely to add our own emotions, thoughts and feelings. Just simply acknowledge their feelings, pain and loss.

I can’t imagine…yet I care. Simply be with them.

2) Say the name of their lost loved one. Hearing the name of that precious person matters and makes a difference in the healing process. Avoiding speaking the name actually hurts everyone there, so share stories, cry and laugh as you recall the amazing life of a loved one.

So say their name…

3) Pull out the pictures! Sometimes the best gift and step to healing is going through old photos or videos. The gift of beautiful memories. Never letting their life be forgotten.

He comforts us. He heals the broken hearted. God is good, even when situations are not, God is. ~Psalm 56:8

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~Psalm 147:3

So pull up a chair to the table, set a plate and name card for the one who is no longer there and let the stories and memories flow.

Let us honor the ones who have simply gone before us to where we want to be when it’s our turn – dancing and praising in the presence of Jesus.

There is hope in the midst of the sadness. We will see our loved ones again and that is worth celebrating.

On this Christmas Eve, I am thankful God sent His one and only Son Jesus to pave the way for each one of us who love Him. Yes, we miss the ones who have gone before us and left their seat at our table empty, yet we celebrate they are in Heaven. Seated with Jesus at the Heavenly Christmas Table. ~OC

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Singing Hallelujah

Today’s a new day! As I have walked this crazy beautiful health journey for over 22 years, I’ve had a lot of time to think about the journey. These thoughts have been like a blueprint for my journey. A journey that is radically different to the one I envisioned 22 years ago.

When I received my first diagnosis back in 2002, I was told after the shock of the diagnosis I would deal with anger and depression. Those well meaning health professionals were wrong. As crazy as it may sound, I feel like this health journey is quite possibly one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Yes, the journey has not been easy. All the surgeries, treatments and hospital stays have not always been pleasant. It’s not the blueprint I would have written for my life. But it has made me really re-evaluate a lot of the things I once held close. It’s made me appreciate my family and friends so much more and realize that possessions mean nothing when you’re faced with the real possibility of dying. Most importantly, it has made me so very aware that the God I believe in and serve is so much bigger and so much closer to me than I ever could have imagined.

Throughout history God has had many names, one of them being Immanuel, meaning ‘God with us’. I have never known that to be more true than I have the last 22 years and counting. Sometimes I wonder why I was chosen to walk this journey. But then God blesses me with a beautiful interruption and I am reminded that God has a purpose for my journey.

I know that God’s ways are higher than my own and there has been immense good that has come from this crazy beautiful health journey. God has used my health journey to bring me and others closer to Him. To bring encouragement.

As I walk through this journey, woven into the fabric of my life has been an understanding of what it means to suffer, and from that understanding has flown love, compassion and mercy.

During this journey, I have continuously leaned on Psalm 139:15-16, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 and Hebrews 13:5. I will let you research those scriptures on your own. While this health journey and everything that has come with it may seem chaotic, I know there is purpose in this crazy beautiful journey. Not my purpose, but the purpose of a God who holds the universe in His hands… who knew me from the moment I was conceived in the womb…. who has walked beside me every day of my life. I may not understand everything that has happened along this journey and maybe on this side of Heaven I never will, but I know that whatever happens, God is in control and he has promised he will never leave me or forsake me.

I don’t know about you, but that gives me a tremendous amount of confidence that everything is going to be alright.

Because of God’s goodness I will sing Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Singing Hallelujah because I am living a blessed life. Singing Hallelujah because my bride who loves me and is standing strong with me on this journey. Singing Hallelujah because I have amazing family and friends who continue to stand with Laura and I during this unending journey. Singing Hallelujah because God walks beside me and fights the battle for me. He commands his angels concerning me and they guard me. God is my fortress, my hiding place while the battle rages around me. He stands between me and my health issues that would seek to take my life and says to the sickness “no further… you will not harm him”.

Singing Hallelujah because I am still alive…. and hopefully will be for many years to come.

There are so many reasons to sing Hallelujah…. so many…. and as long as I have a heartbeat you will hear my Hallelujah.

Whatever you see in me that you think is good comes from Heaven.

It’s not my doing…. it’s His. ~OC

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Count It All Joy

Today’s a new day! Do you sometimes have a hard time counting it all joy during the storms of life? I think we all have had those moments. You might be dealing with financial issues, employment issues, housing issues, family issues or health issues. How in the world could you find joy in all the pain and heartbreak?

One of the lessons I have learned during my crazy beautiful health journey, is that God will use these storms to help build our faith. Will we continue to stand firm in our faith when things look hopeless?

I’ve learned that my faith is like a muscle. The more I use it the stronger my faith grows. God continues to amaze me in ways I could never have imagined. God has used my health issues to strengthen my faith and to help others going through their own storms.

There have been some tough days during this journey and more to come, but I continue to see God providing my every need.

I pray as you make it through the storm you’re facing, you will know God on a deeper level and you will have more joy and peace than you know what to do with. ~OC

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Life Takes A Village

Today’s a new day! As the holidays are just a few days away, I encourage everyone to not forget about those loved ones going through loss this season. Whether the loss of a loved one happened a few days ago or decades ago, the pain is still real. Going through the grieving process can be a very dark and difficult time for a person. However, it is also hard for the loved ones of this individual. Family members and friends often struggle to find the best ways to be supportive. Plus, the holiday season can make this process that much more challenging.

If you are the loved one of a grieving individual, understanding the stages in this process is an important place to start, but there are also many genuine things you can do to show your love and help.

Reach out to them. Most grieving people find it hard to take initiative and reach out to others. You can help by doing this for them. Stay connected with them via visits, phone calls, text, email or video chat. Make sure you are still checking in on them in the months following their loss, when fewer people are doing so.

Find ways to help. Come up with specific tasks you can assist with. Volunteer to drop off pre-made dinners so they don’t have to worry about cooking. Check and see if you can run errands for them. See if there is any house or yard work they need assistance with. Maybe they just need you to sit with them.

Don’t be afraid to say their name.To share stories. Those grieving can be concerned that their loved one will be forgotten by others. Therefore, don’t be afraid to mention the loved one’s name and to share stories about the person. Those stories may bring some tears, but they could also bring some much needed laughs.

This holiday season will be tough for many this year, so take the time to reach out to them and let them know you care. Life takes a village. ~OC

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Not the End

Today’s a new day! Sometimes a tragedy can provide a platform for something greater. Something beyond our wildest imagination. Sometimes a tragedy can be the beginning of something beautiful, not the end of the story. ~OC

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Memories

Sitting back reflecting on the chapters of my life

Wondering where all the time went

I can’t believe all the memories and blessings God has given me over the years

The chapters of my life come flooding back

I keep those memories close

It seems like some happened yesterday, but 40 years have passed But those memories with friends from the 80’s stay in my heart

still so fresh in my mind

and I will keep them close as always

Memories from my past are memories forever

Today’s memories may be a little harder to recall,

but those memories from the past stay in my heart and mind forever

Those beautiful memories will never fade

In God’s hands a lifetime of memories is not too long

To keep those memories in my mind

Living in hope, I would love to add another chapter or two to my collection of beautiful memories, for when that day comes that memories are all I have

I will hold the memories of our love close. Memories from today may be a little harder to recall, but those memories of saying “I do” back in ‘99 will stay fresh in my mind

It won’t even seem I’ve gone. You’ll still be a beautiful memory in my mind

‘Cause our love is bigger than any disease

We will hold onto the love that keeps us strong

Memories from my past are memories forever

Today’s memories may be a little harder to recall,

but those memories from yesterday’s past stay in my heart and never fade

They stay forever in my mind

In God’s hands a lifetime of memories, is not too long

To keep those memories in my mind

Memories with family and friends

Are memories forever

I will hold them close

Never forgetting the laughter and joy

The memories made so long ago

Will be what I take when the days begin to fade

Memories from my past are memories forever

Today’s memories may be a little harder to recall,

but those memories from yesterday’s past stay in my heart and never fade

They stay forever in my mind

In God’s hands a lifetime of memories is not too long

To keep those memories in my mind

Though it’s hard to recall moments from today

In the Father’s hands I know

That a lifetime’s not too long

To keep those beautiful old memories fresh in my mind. ~OC

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Grateful

Today’s a new day! I’m grateful this morning for another day to breathe, to think and make more memories with my bride, friends and family.

I’m grateful for my cup of ice tea and a cool breeze on our balcony.

I am grateful for the anticipation of this new day.

I am grateful to be living in peace.

I’m grateful to still be alive, now, in this place and at this time.  I’m ever-thankful for the extra time God has given me.

I am grateful for the freedom to write in my hometown and to write whatever, however, whenever I please.

I am grateful for the amazing people God has brought my way on this crazy beautiful health journey. Thankful to have met so many creative and loving people over the past twenty-two years.

I am grateful for the friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin.

I am thankful that my gratitude stretches around the world with all the people who have walked this journey with me through this blog and my other social media pages.

I am grateful to live in love, hope and peace and cherish this day that the Lord has given me. ~OC

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The Perfect Time is Now

Today’s a new day! I have really been focused on making memories the last few years. With my health being what it is, making memories has become a priority. When Laura and I want to do something we do it, if possible. No more waiting for the right time. The right time is now. As I have shared before, these road trips and outings are not easy on my body, but the memories we’re making are priceless. I would encourage everyone to embrace the moment and go make some beautiful memories. Stop waiting for the perfect time. The perfect time is now! ~OC

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To Live Together in Peace

Today’s a new day! As I study scripture, I continuously see we are given direction and guidance to live together in peace. But in order to do so, we must value and care for one another, be humble, seek to understand each other, be compassionate, and treat others respectfully. It does not mean that everyone has to be our best friend, but at the end of the day, we should treat others as we want to be treated. Like-mindedness does not mean we need to walk around with the same thoughts and beliefs on all things, but instead it means we ought to share the common purpose of love and care for each other. As a world, it feels as if we have lost sight of this. Too often, people are so caught up in the value of their own opinion, agenda and being right, that the humility and humanity necessary to love one another is lost.

Thankfully, my days are spent encouraging others through conversations, zoom meetings and writing. I try to use social media and personal interactions to find out what binds us together and less about what divides us. I try to have conversations with people who look, act, believe and speak differently than me.

Though we come from different places, life experiences and beliefs systems, our ultimate purpose should be to try and make a better world for all to live. Obviously, we live in a imperfect world filled with imperfect people, but the more we seek to understand, extend compassion, and treat others as friends, the better we work together to bring change that makes life better for all.

I will continue to seek God for guidance and direction as to how to best live together in peace and love with those around me.

Peace will be present

when we all decide to

treat people with respect and love

Love is forgiving

It’s gracious and kind

humble and listens

keeps others in mind

Seek to understand

by listening first

speaking to learn and discover

the best in people, not the worst

Dear God, teach us to walk in love and compassion each new day.

Dear God, thank You that You love us so much that You call us and guide us to live in peace and harmony together with each other. Thank You that You show us what is good, and what is required to know Your peace. Forgive us for the times that we have lacked compassion or failed to listen. Teach us to extend grace in such a way that all feel heard and appreciated. Be glorified O God, as we seek You to lead us in Your love and to live together in peace as one human race. Amen ~OC

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Time

Today’s a new day! As I continue running this crazy beautiful health journey, the days are getting tougher. But as my body continues to decline, I push forward to continue living a life of significance. I want every moment to count. I wrote this a few weeks ago. Hopefully you will take some time to reflect on it.

As I reflect on this crazy beautiful journey, I must start with the beginning. I came into this world in December 1965. That was the year God put breath in my lungs.

Even though that day in ‘65 was a major moment in my life, what has happened since that day is what really matters. What have I done with the time that has been entrusted to me?

For that time represents all the opportunities that have come and gone since the winter of ‘65. Have I used this gift of time wisely?

What really hasn’t mattered is the material things I have collected over the years. Sometimes I cringe at the things bought on Amazon. But hey it sounded like a good deal at the time. The careers, money, houses may have been nice, but at the end of the day they were but fleeting.

As I move into the 4th quarter of this health journey, I want to make sure I am investing in things that truly matter. Most importantly, I want to invest in people that matter. Who are the people who matter? Everyone I encounter on this journey matters. Whether it’s a friend I have known since childhood or a new friend I just met on the elevator. Because at the end of the day, it’s our relationships that matter.

As I reflect back on the journey, are there things I would like to change? Yes there are. But I will never regret the time spent with family and friends. I will never regret the moments spent with loved ones laughing and crying. I will never regret the beautiful interruptions God has brought my way.

As I continue running this health journey, I want to slow down and experience what is real. What truly matters. I want to be slower to speak and quicker to listen. I want to be slower to anger and quicker to love. I want to be more willing to show forgiveness than to hold a grudge. I want to be known more for what I love and less known for what I dislike.

As I have run this crazy beautiful health journey, I have been known by my multiple nicknames. I have been known for beating the odds in my health battle. Those are all nice, but the three things that matter to me the most is being known as a person who knows and loves God, a man who loves his amazing bride and a person who cares about his amazing friends and desires to be a great friend.

At some point this crazy beautiful health journey will come to an end. All of our journeys will eventually come to an end. My question to you and myself is this, “At the end of your journey, will you be happy with the way you lived out the precious time you were given?” ~OC

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