Good evening! It’s 10:15pm here in South Florida, as I sit in my recliner and write this post. I have a question to ask? Do you have a 3am friend?

OC, what in the world is a 3am friend? I’m glad you asked. A 3am friend is a friend you can call at 3am when the storms of life hit. Where most people would probably not even answer the phone, a 3am friend welcomes your call.

The 3am friend is one of the most important people in our lives. It doesn’t matter if these are work friends, faith friends, or family relations.

You can call that 3am friend because you’re confident that they care about you even when they are distracted by their own challenges or recovering from a hard day. You can also trust them to respect and support you even when they see you at your worst.

Do you have 3 a.m. friends? More importantly, are you a 3 a.m. friend for others?

I hope your answer to both questions is, “Yes, of course.” But that isn’t true for all of us, nor is it true all the time. There are all kinds of fancy ideas and theories about “community.” I don’t pretend to have a mastery of what all possible communities could or should look like. But at the end of the day, communities do one critically important thing: they create relationships. Supportive and loving relationships.

The simplest way to build community is by letting others know that we want to be their 3 a.m. friend. Maybe you are ready to be that 3 a.m. friend, and they don’t know it.

On a number of occasions, friends have surprised me by calling me in the middle of night with a crisis. Perhaps they needed someone to support family members waiting tensely in an emergency room. Perhaps they were overwhelmed by the pressures of life. Maybe they needed someone to just listen to them. Maybe they needed prayer.

Over the years, I have come to realize that it is an honor to be trusted in moments like that. When someone shares their vulnerability, they are inviting us to know them in a deeper way.

If you’ve never done it, I suggest that, right now, you call or text the people that you know are your 3 a.m. friends. Thank them for filling this role in your life even if you’ve never needed to make that call. If there are people that you know whose middle-of-the-night calls you would welcome, consider letting them know how you feel.

While we can talk about “building community” in fancy ways elsewhere, this may be the most important community you will ever have. God knows you need them and they need you.

So, if you ever need a 3am friend, please reach out to me. I would be honored to do life with you. Even at 3am. Blessings. ~OC