Joy!

Today’s a new day! Being chronically ill comes with a lot of ups and downs and a wide range of emotions. These emotions can be so strong and overwhelming at times. As you walk through the different stages of being chronically ill, you are faced with a lot of situations that you could never prepare for and those moments can make you feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster. Physical health affects your mental, emotional and spiritual health more than people would think.

When you are chronically ill, your life becomes a vicious cycle of intense symptoms and flares. This can leave you feeling completely hopeless and lost at times. But even at moments when it feels impossible to find joy, it is possible, even on the darkest days. Some days you have to search a little harder for that joy but it is always there. Joy looks different to everyone. As a chronic illness warrior it is so important that you surround yourself with joy because it is easy to lose hope of experiencing pure joy again.

I find joy in many ways in my life and I really make an effort to make those things a part of my daily living. One of the main ways that I find joy/happiness is by leaning into my faith. My faith has allowed me to overcome a lot of tough moments in this journey. I also surround myself with the love and support of my family and the few friends who have decided to stay in the boat with me. A supportive group of people have the ability to turn my bad days into great days. I am so thankful for each of them because they not only provide peace/joy, they also give me so much hope. I also find joy and happiness in doing things I love such as: writing,listening to music and making memories with my bride.

The past month has been filled with more tough news regarding my health. Looking back on the past month, joy has still there even in the darkest days. Sometimes during hard times things become so overwhelming that we forget that even then we can still find joy in the little things. It is okay to have bad days but it is so important that everyday we challenge ourselves to stop and find happiness and joy. Joy always outweighs the bad and it is so important that we remind ourselves of that. Have a great day! ~OC

A Walk Down the 1980’s….

Today’s a new day! As we look at everything going on in the world, I thought back on my wonderful youth of the 1980’s. So many great things came out of the 1980’s, that I could literally write a book on the decade. But I will control myself with this blog post and highlight just a few of the amazing things from the 1980’s. Let’s take a stroll back….

The 1980s were not just years on a calendar; they were a living, breathing entity, a canvas on which an entire generation painted its dreams, fears, and identities.

The Fashion:
Let’s step into a high school hallway during the 80s, and you were met with a dizzying array of fluorescent outfits that would make a rainbow pale. Fashion was bold, brash, and unapologetically loud. Neon colors dominated wardrobes, making statements that were anything but subtle. Teenage girls coupled bright tops with acid-wash jeans, embracing fashion as a form of fearless self-expression. Oh, and big hair. We can never forget the beautiful big hair.

Leg warmers, initially a dancer’s accessory, gyrated their way into mainstream fashion. They were worn over jeans or with miniskirts and accompanied by the ubiquitous jelly shoes. Meanwhile, shoulder pads gave blouses and jackets a distinctive silhouette, empowering wearers with an air of confidence and authority that mirrored the power suits of emerging career women.

Members-only jackets became the uniform of the ‘in-crowd.’ If you wore one, you were part of an unspoken club—a club that valued style, modernity, and a certain coolness that was the currency of high school hallways. Jackets and apparel from brands like Levi’s, Adidas, Ralph Lauren Polo and Nike became symbols of the casual, sporty chic that typified the amazing 80’s.

The Casio digital watches became essential, known for their functionality and iconic style. Their sleek designs and innovative digital displays, often featuring stopwatches and calculators, distinguished them from traditional watches.

Converse Chuck Taylor sneakers have been around since the early 1900s. However, they didn’t become fashion icons until the ’80s. Their simple yet stylish design made them perfect for pairing with jeans, sweats and shorts.

The Tunes:
The music of the 1980s was the lifeblood of teen culture, a constant companion that influenced fashion, language, and identity. It was a decade that witnessed the rise of music as a visual medium, the cementing of pop icons, the battle lines between rock and metal, the emergence of hip-hop into mainstream visibility, and the British New Wave that swept across the Atlantic.

On August 1, 1981, the words “Ladies and gentlemen, rock and roll” heralded the launch of MTV, a channel that would revolutionize the music industry and the way music was consumed. MTV made the music video a crucial part of an artist’s repertoire, combining song with narrative and visual flair, making stars not only audible but also visually unmissable. Oh, and more big hair.

Music videos became the new art form of the era, providing a platform for artists to extend their creativity and for fans to engage with their idols in a new dimension. Songs from Michael Jackson and Duran Duran were not just hits; they were cultural events that captivated millions with their innovation and storytelling videos.

The Movies:
The 1980s was a transformative era for cinema, evolving the concept of the “blockbuster” and forever changing how stories were told and sold. The 80’s was the decade that solidified high-concept films with wide appeal, massive marketing campaigns, and merchandise tie-ins as a key strategy for Hollywood success.

“Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back,” the sequel to George Lucas’s epic space opera, was more than just a movie; it was an event. With its cliffhanger ending, memorable characters, and expansive universe, it defied expectations and set a new standard for what a sequel could be, driving the franchise into a merchandising juggernaut that encompassed toys, books, and comics.

“Back to the Future” took audiences on a time-traveling adventure with Michael J. Fox’s iconic portrayal of Marty McFly. The film was not just a commercial hit; it became a cultural phenomenon, influencing fashion (who could forget those self-lacing shoes and hoverboards?) and popularizing the science fiction genre among a wide audience.

I will end our 1980’s trip down memory lane here for now. What a great decade. Maybe I will share more about this amazing decade another time. I hope this brought back some fun memories. ~OC

Scream, Scream, Scream

Good Morning! As some of you know, I have been dealing with kidney stones for the last few week. The pain has been some of the worst I have ever dealt with. Probably having surgery this week to remove them. But I figured I might as well have some fun with it. So I wrote the following. As you read it, do so with Justin Timberlake’s song Can’t Stop The Feeling! on your mind. Feel free to laugh and dance.

I got this feeling inside my kidneys
It’s like I’m being stabbed with a rusted out knife, my screams can be heard throughout my home, all through our condo down to the city streets, my body feels the pain and I can’t turn it off,

I can’t stop the screaming
I can’t stop the screaming
I can’t stop the screaming

What I got going on in my stomach doesn’t feel like any type of sunshine in my pocket and when I jump around it’s not because I’ve got any soul in my feet, I feel that hot pain in my kidneys when my stones wake up and say hello, I guarantee you their not The Rolling Stones, but I agree with Jaeger I can’t get no satisfaction, even pain meds can’t take my mind off it, I pray it would just stop

I can’t stop the screaming
I can’t stop the screaming
I can’t stop the screaming

Nothing I can do but scream, scream, scream, as the pain intensifies I just scream, scream, scream
And that pain ain’t leaving until the surgeon takes away those dancing stones

After the stones are removed, It will be something magical, and I will dance, dance, dance and move so phenomenally, I will finally experience some satisfaction. Can’t wait to stop this feeling. ~OC

Beautiful Gift

Today’s a new day! In late 2002, I was diagnosed with several forms of crippling arthritis. I would spend nearly a year taking multiple experimental drugs to help fight the arthritis. Unfortunately, those medications did more damage than good. Fast forward to August 2003, I had a chest scan done after coughing up blood on my way home from work. That scan would change my life forever. A few weeks after the scan a biopsy would reveal that tumor sitting in my chest was cancerous. The results would change the way I live life forever. After having the tumor removed a short time later, I thought the worst was over. I had no idea that four years later I would be diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s. Of course my symptoms had shown up years before, but I never paid any attention to them. I blew it off as stress or fatigue. Then a few short years later, I would be diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. Maybe I should have started playing the lottery. Then about eight years later, I would be diagnosed with Gastroparesis. What are the odds? Well, some on my medical team have shared I am one in two billion. Where’s that winning lottery ticket?

Over these past twenty-two years, I have learned, and continue to learn, about living with persistent pain, near-constant fatigue and constant unsteadiness. I stress living, though I am also learning about dying. We’re all, always, dying-while-living and living while dying. My experiences with these multiple health issues simply make me more aware of death’s relentless work and also, mercifully, makes me more attentive to life’s beautiful gifts. Among them are:

The amazing gift of conversations, laughter, tears, prayers, encouragement and amazing times with family and friends.

The beautiful gift of music and books.

The beautiful gift of memories from my running days.

The beautiful gift of a call or visit from friends.

The amazing gift of sunrises and sunsets.

The gift of a quiet morning before the battle of another day begins.

The amazing gift of experiencing healing in so many different ways.

The gift of experiencing the many blessings of God.

The beautiful gift of hearing God speak to my spirit.

The gift of a quiet evening on the balcony with my bride.

The beautiful gift of almost 25 years with my bride.

The amazing gift of continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride.

The gift of outliving all the predictions of my death.

The gift of knowing God has everything under control.

In the time I have left (I am taking on the challenge to outlive the current prognosis), I intend to live close to the veil, at the threshold, and at the feet of the God upon whom angels descend and ascend. I hope to say what I hear, describe what I see, and offer what I receive because it is good, hopeful and healing. Every day, I choose to be The Man Who Refuses to Die and embrace the beautiful gifts of life. ~OC

Friday Night in the 80’s

It’s Friday! Let’s take a trip back to the 1980’s in West Palm Beach, FL. You have had a long week at school. It’s time to relax and let loose. You spend a lot of time getting ready for a night on the town. Gotta look good! Ladies have to have that 80’s hair on point. Guys have to pick just the right cologne. You jump in a crowded car and see where the night takes you. First stop is the mall. Do you hit the Palm Beach Mall or the Cross County Mall? Maybe you scope out both. If you hit the Cross County Mall, you might check out what’s playing at the AMC Movie Theater. Then you might scroll over to the Arcade. Oh, everyone is getting a little hungry. You head down to Mamma Leone’s for a slice or two. You hang out for a while and decide what’s next. No one can decide on a movie, so you decide to head to Galaxy Skating Rink. You’re bound to find some friends skating to the amazing sounds of the 70’s and 80’s. You spend a few hours skating round and round, then you decide it’s time to head back to the Cross County Mall and get some ice cream at Swenson’s. By that time some new friends have jumped in the 🚘. Maybe you know maybe you don’t. It really doesn’t matter. After making yourself half sick on all the ice cream, you decide maybe you’ll hit a midnight movie at the theater. Maybe you have a friend working there who will let you in for free. After a night of fun, you head home with some amazing memories. Memories that will last a lifetime. Enjoy your Friday night! ~OC

Soundtrack of My Life

Today’s a new day! I thought I would have a little fun with this post. How would my crazy beautiful journey sound if it was set to music?

As I open my eyes on this Beautiful Day, I Rise Up and thank God he always Stands By Me and I Raise a Hallelujah. With Every Little Step, I am Livin’ On a Prayer because these days my body Rattles. Some mornings I think about the Glory Days and remember my body was Born to Run, but today I Dream On because I have learned to Stand Tall and I choose to live life as a Overcomer. As I make my way around My House, I remember It Is Well With My Soul. As I think about Breakfast, I wish I was Hungry Like a Wolf. As I turn on the news, all I hear is Rumour Has It, and all this negativity is Killing Me Softly. Man, you gotta to Pray just to make it today. We all need to Come Together on this Yellow Brick Road and stop all this Jive Talkin’. All this Poison makes me get down on a Bended Knee and live with Gratitude at the Mention of Your Name. I stop and take a look at the Man In The Mirror and I think How Can We Mend A Broken Heart? But I will choose to live Like a Rock because that’s My Prerogative. Some days I just enjoy Rainy Days and Mondays. But Ain’t Nobody going to steal my Joy and I am going to Shake It Up and embrace the Good Times. I will continue to live in Amazing Grace. I wanna live With Arms Wide Open. I am a little Older, but thankfully I am Still Standing and feel Forever Young.

So today, be careful of Careless Whispers and Don’t Let The Sun Go Down without showing some Forgiveness. Today Relax, Because He Lives and took care of everything on The Old Rugged Cross. ~OC

Seasons

Today’s a new day! This journey called life is made up of many seasons
some seasons slip away, never to be seen again while other seasons look like they’re slipping away, but they have only just begun

Like the dim light on the road ahead on an evening run, we only get a glimpse of the secrets of the world
May never pass this way again

Noises all around us
the seasons come and go
May never pass this way again

The dreams we dream keep us moving forward in the difficult seasons of life, those dreams keep us flying like an eagle on a warm summer breeze
May never pass this way again

Like Dr. King in the olden days
we must gather all our courage and live out our dreams
May never pass this way again

So cast away your fears
Our dreams will ebb and flow
different seasons will come and go
May never pass this way again

I wanna laugh with family and friends
I wanna cry and not waste a tear
I wanna dream and live in the moment
May never pass this way again

I wanna dance with my bride on a cool summer night to the sounds of the 80’s in the background
I wanna drive down the highway with adventure in my heart and some Motown playing on the radio
May never pass this way again

On those tough days when my body is failing me, I want to look in the mirror and not see a life of washed out dreams, on those days when it’s hard to breathe, I wanna hear Journey in the background reminding me Don’t Stop Believing
May never pass this way again

As the season change, I’m still standing, maybe not better than before, but living as an Overcomer
I wanna keep dancing in the light
May never pass this way again. ~OC

Mile Marker Moments

Today’s a new day! I will never forget Sunday November 14, 2004. A little over a year after being diagnosed with cancer and having my chest cracked open to remove a golf ball tumor, I completed my very first half marathon on that day. I was blessed that so many friends and family members were at the finish line to help Laura and I celebrate. What a memorable day. My running days gave me so many amazing memories.

I am incredibly thankful for what I call “Mile Marker Moments.” What are Mile Marker Moments? They are moments in life where everything hits the wall. A moment where you have to decide if you continue on or if you call for a ride to the finish line. During my marathon days, my Mile Marker Moment came at mile 19. My body was done. The music on my playlist and the cheers from the crowd were just not enough. At mile 19, I always wanted to throw in the towel. But in that moment, God would fill my body and mind with amazing energy. The strength to get through all the pain and doubts, to continue on and run strong through the finish line. As much as I loved crossing that finish line, the real lessons were learned at mile 19. I truly value the Mile Marker Moments of life.

Mile Marker Moments teach us:
My last year running marathons was extremely tough. My body was really starting to shut down and every training run and marathon was filled with pain. My times had went from somewhat respectable to something far from respectable. Running was no longer easy for me. But after each marathon that year, I would spend time reflecting on the race and my results. I would always walk away with a teachable moment. It was on me to take the time to embrace those lessons and learn from them. Just like mile 19 of a marathon, we have to commit to embracing the valuable lessons of life instead of quitting.

Mile Marker Moments challenge us:
During that last year of running marathons, there were times I really hated running. The pain, the slow pace were overwhelming at times. Here I was the Blessed Overcomer of running, the guy whose story for some reason was encouraging others and I was struggling. But I challenged myself to do better. That can be difficult when your body is betraying you. During those low moments, I would use every race to challenge myself to learn and hopefully do better the next race. We need to use the mile marker moments of life to fuel us for the next opportunity.

Mile Marker Moments shape us: All the tough moments in running and life have strengthened my faith. God has used all of those Mile Marker Moments, to make me a better and stronger person. The Mile Marker Moments of my crazy beautiful health journey remind me that even in my darkest moments, God is still in control. The Mile Marker Moments of my life have blessed me with the opportunity to have some amazing conversations with people dealing with their own mile marker moments. During those conversations, I encourage people to let those mile marker moments help shape them, but not become their identity.

So as you face your own Mile Marker Moments, allow them to reveal God’s purpose for your life. Let them remind you to never give up and keep your eyes on the finish line. ~OC

Be Still

Today’s a new day! I love the song “Be Still.” Various artists have covered the song over the years. But as I sit here this morning, the version that keeps playing in my mind is from the artist Travis Greene. The second part of the first verse says:

“But when the noise is over, a still, small voice you will hear. I hope that you believe me, when I tell ya
That I’ll handle all of your cares, just wait on me.”

Those words remind me of times in my own life when I have been busy, stressed and all God wanted me to do was trust in Him. He had everything under control. My relationships, my finances and my health issues are all in God’s hands. All I needed to do was be still.

I was reminded of the story of Jesus rebuking the wind and waves. He gave a simple, yet powerful command: “Peace, be still” (Mark 4:39), and they had to obey. My stress and worry were like wind and waves tossing me to and fro, coming against me to get me off course. Yet, just as Jesus reminded the wind and the waves of Who was really in control, God was using the song “Be Still” based on His Word to silence the worry and fear raging in my mind and heart. God is still in control and sometimes I need to be reminded of that truth.

Just stop and think, God has the authority to silence any challenge, any trial coming against us. The problem is we have to learn to trust Him. The song Be Still speaks of a “still, small voice” reminding us that God is in control. So many times, the worries of this journey seem to drown out that voice but it is there, we just need to pay attention to it, to listen to it. As the chorus of the song says:

Be still and know, that I am God
Be still and know, that I am God
Just trust and know, that I am God,
And I’m in control, I am still … God
            
The lyrics remind us to simply be still, to trust and know that God is in control and that no matter what storm comes our way, God can and will handle it.

The song “Be Still” comes from the powerful words in Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

So today, as you face the storms and challenges of life, I encourage you to take a moment and just be still. ~OC

Dear Running,

Dear Running,

It is very painful to write these words to you. Running, we have been friends since I was a child. Back then, I loved running through the neighborhood. Not a care in the world. I did not get my drivers license until I was 18 years old because I thought I could just run everywhere. My friends had cars. Why did I need to drive? After high school, you and took a break. We reunited a few times in college, but nothing serious. Just a casual short run every once in awhile. After college you and I drifted apart. Life got busy and I abandoned you. Then in 2003, while having open-heart surgery to remove a cancerous tumor, God spoke to me through a vision and said it was time to reunite with you. Not only to start running again, but to start running marathons. I was under heavy anesthesia, so was this real? Yes indeed, it was real. Not only did God say to start running again, but to share the Gospel through running. Four months after surgery, I started running again. Oh, how nice to see you again old friend. It was like old times. We were back together. One year after my surgery, I completed my first marathon. Oh what a wonderful feeling and experience. As I ran, God gave me the chance to share his amazing love. You and I continued to complete one marathon after another. In 2007, we received a scare when I was diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s. My first question to the doctor was “Can I keep on running?” I was overjoyed when the doctor shared I could indeed keep on running. Oh, we had a fun time the next year and a half. In 2008, God blessed me with the opportunity to run a 1,000 miles in one year. We anticipated a wonderful and exciting year of running in 2009. It started off with me completing the Disney Marathon. But something just wasn’t right. Was Parkinson’s starting to come between me and running? We fought hard to stay together. But once again something just wasn’t right. In March of 2009, my body started to betray me. That month, Myasthenia Gravis joined Parkinson’s to wreck my body. They finally broke us up in mid 2009. For the next ten years, I would fight for my life and daydream about you friend. Funny thing about those ten plus years, God kept directing me to buy a new pair of running shoes each year. Was God planning a reunion? It sure didn’t look like it. My health continued to decline. Funeral arrangements were made. Goodbyes were shared. Then on November 3, 2019, a shell of a man walked into a tent revival and was completely healed by our amazing Savior. A month later, God reunited us. In 2020, after not running for over ten years, God blessed me with the opportunity to complete 1,000 miles in ten months. Oh what a feeling. But during 2020, a pandemic rolled in and changed the world. On Super Bowl Sunday 2021, I was introduced to this strange virus called Covid. Little did I know my life was going to be completely changed. Since that Super Bowl Sunday, my body has never been the same. I have tried on many occasions to run again. We had a little success, but there have been many moments of major disappointments.

So it’s with a broken heart, I say one final goodbye to an old friend. We have made some beautiful memories together. But the effects of Covid and some other health issues have made running difficult and not enjoyable. I always dreamed running would be part of my life until Jesus took me home. So on August 4, 2022, I announce my retirement from running. It has been a beautiful crazy journey. Thanks for the memories my friend.

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