Tag: Never Give Up

A Season In The Wilderness

Today’s a new day! Why does God allow us to walk through seasons of being in the wilderness? I have asked that question hundreds of times over the years. Especially when I have wrestled with fear and doubt. I have wondered how long would I have to walk through the wilderness and if I would actually make it out. The wilderness is not only a physical place, it illustrates a season of darkness and struggle. A time when life feels overwhelmingly heavy and everything looks dark.

For over two decades, I have walked through a season of health related issues. During this roller coaster ride, I have cried out to God on numerous occasions. Thankfully during the twist and turns of this journey, I have experienced being wrapped up in the strong and loving arms of God. Leaning into His promises. The past twenty-two years have not been easy. There have been some tough, lonely and dark moments. Yet as I have studied God’s word and experienced in my own journey, He meets us in the wilderness more than anywhere else in life. In the wilderness, we learn to depend on God, we sense his presence and we grow to love his word.

The children of Israel wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. Can you imagine? This time in the wilderness came after a great victory, as God parted the Red Sea so they could escape the pursuing Egyptian army that were chasing after them (Exodus 14). Yet even this stunning display of God’s awesome power wasn’t enough to maintain the Israelites loyalty and trust. No, they soon doubted God’s beautiful provision and complained. Can anyone relate? God then took the Israelites deep into the wilderness where he taught them about himself.

As the Israelites entered the wilderness, they had no way to provide for themselves. During this season they fondly recalled their days in Egypt, even though they were slaves and life was extremely hard. But life in Egypt was also predictable. Now as they walked through the wilderness, life was anything but predictable. Yet even in this season of uncertainty, God took care of the Israelites. When they were hungry and thirsty, God gave them manna to eat and brought water from a rock. (Exodus 16-17) They lacked nothing. Did you catch that?

During this crazy beautiful health journey, there have been days I could not provide for myself. During this season of challenges, God has always provided. When I was unable to drive, friends would take me to my appointments and treatments. Others would drop off meals, so Laura would not have to worry about cooking. God has blessed Laura and I with some amazing people during this season.

As the children of Israel walked through the wilderness, they not only depended on God for their physical needs, but they also needed him for direction. They had to keep their eyes on God because without his guidance, they didn’t know where they were going. God went before them, as a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night so that they would know when they had to leave and where they were supposed to go(Exodus 13:21-22). They were not given any instructions beforehand so they couldn’t make plans. The Israelites were forced to wait for God, only moving when he moved. During my health battle, I have chosen to only move when God tells me to move. My journey has been filled with many earthly unknowns, but God continues to guide my daily steps. I continue to keep my eyes on the promises of God.

One of the greatest gifts I have experienced during my wilderness experience is God’s presence. It is real and deeply intimate. I know He is with me. Every day I sense God’s love and comfort. In the wilderness, I feel God’s presence in ways that I can’t experience elsewhere. It is one of the elusive treasures of darkness. (Isaiah 45:3)

During their wilderness experience, God taught the Israelites to listen to his word. They learned that “man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” (Deut 8:3). Through this wilderness journey, the Israelites learned that while manna was important, God’s word was essential. His words satisfied and sustained them in the desert in ways that food never could. In Jeremiah 15:16 we read, “Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart.”

God’s word is what has sustained me as I have walked through my health journey. I have learned to love God’s word in a deeper and more life changing way. God has spoken to me as I have studied the Bible, prayed and leaned into his promises. God’s word has provided me with direction, strength, comfort and peace during my toughest days.

This crazy beautiful health journey has definitely not been easy, but it has been priceless in so many ways. I have learned to trust God more and myself less. I have learned that God will always provide for my every need, though he often redefines what I need. I have learned to love God and his word more clearly.

So today, if you’re walking through your own wilderness experience do not give up. In this season, God can teach you his ways, provide for your needs and draw you closer to himself. I promise one day you will see how God used every minute in the wilderness to illustrate his glory and to maximize your eternal joy. Stay strong and keep thriving. ~OC

0

Seeds of Hope

Good morning God. I come with a heavy heart this morning. I am tired of all the hate and violence in our world. It hit home this morning, as I watch a loved one and his family struggle with the grief of violence.

This morning, I lift prayers up for this family and every family walking through pain and loss today caused by hate and violence. We know life has always been a struggle between peace and violence. Good and evil. We know love and peace give hope to a broken world. That is something that so many of us are striving for in this world. We also realize that there is a group of people spreading hate and violence to destroy peace, hope and love. Good and gracious God, we know hate and violence tries to shatter love and hope. We know hate and violence can tear apart people, families and communities. But we also know that by loving and caring for the hurting, we can bring hope and love back to broken relationships and communities.

In each of us, is a seed of peace and love. It calls out not only to be recognized, but to be nurtured and cared for. As we scroll through social media or turn on the tv, we see what seems like an endless stream of hate and violence. Dear God, help us hold on to those seeds of peace, hope, love and unity.

As fear and violence try to destroy and divide us, may our repulsion of these actions turn us to the soil of our souls. May we instead plant seeds of hope, love and peace. May we work together to nurture those seeds of change. Regardless of skin color, different faiths, cultures or political views may we work together to create change. Not just change for this generation, but for generations to come.

Dear God, do not allow us not to buy into the lies that resistance of violence requires anger, aggression and animosity. No, keep reminding us that peace, prayers, love and community are the ways to achieve the positive changes we cry out for.

Dear God, remind us that love and peace are a constant pursuit and they only grow when we nurture and care for them. Peace, hope and love require constant tending, mindfulness in every moment, and a willingness to see each person as a reflection of You. Amen. ~OC

0

Walking Through Chronic Illness

Today’s a new day! Walking through this crazy beautiful health journey can be a daunting task. Anybody dealing with chronic illness can relate. At times it can feel we are not truly living. On days we are barely surviving how can we possibly live for God? When simple daily tasks overwhelm us, how can we even think of living for and serving God? We know He calls us to live for Him, but what does that look like when you’re walking through a season of suffering?

Before I attempt to answer those questions, let us discuss how to go about living for God. When we think of truly living for God our imagination can lead us to mission work in a third world country or preaching in front of a large crowd. But there are many different ways to walk out our faith. Living for God is simply walking out the words and teachings of God. Striving to live a life that points people to God and brings Him glory. A person dealing with chronic health issues can still live for and make a difference for God. It may just look differently than a healthy person. So, no matter your current condition there are always ways that you can glorify God through them. Here are some lessons I have learned during this crazy beautiful health journey.

  1. It’s okay that the way we live for God looks different than the way that healthy people do. In Romans 12:4-5 we read the following words, “For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.” In his amazing wisdom, God did not create us all with the same gifts or the same circumstances. He doesn’t expect us to serve Him in the exact same way that anybody else does. This is one of the beautiful things about the church. We see how God uses many people in different ways to accomplish things for His Kingdom.

Trying to live for God in a way that is identical to someone else would be so boring. When we attempt to live out someone else’s race, we can become consumed with trying to measure up  to other people that it ends up paralyzing us. Any time our focus shifts from seeking to glorify God, to comparing ourselves with others, it leads to discouragement. The truth is, we can never do as much as healthy people because of our physical limitations, and that’s okay. Serving God isn’t about how much we can do for Him, but using whatever ability we do have for His glory. Focusing on what we are unable to do causes us to stop doing the “small” things that we can do. If we choose to focus on the abilities and opportunities we still have, we are able to live out the gifts God has given us.

Life is not a competition. We miss out on so many opportunities when we try and make life a competition. Serving God in different ways doesn’t make it a lesser way. Even healthy people serve in different capacities. The truth is that nobody, regardless of physical  ability can live for God and serve Him as much as He deserves. He is infinitely worthy, and even if we poured out our entire lives for Him without fail, it would still not be enough. So let’s stop comparing ourselves to others and instead boldly live out the plan God has for your life.

  1. God has a purpose for each of our lives and will give us the tools to accomplish that purpose. From the beginning of time, God has been faithful to provide our needs. Any ability anyone has to live for God is a gift from Him. If God is the one giving us the strength to live for Him then we don’t need to rely on our own. We, the chronically ill, are reminded daily of the harsh reality of our weakness. Our weakness is not a hindrance to God. It’s just a different channel for Him to work through. In 2 Corinthians 3:4-5 we read these powerful words, “And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God.” As this verse highlights, a biblical view of our insufficiency leads to increased trust in God. Because we know there isn’t anything in and of ourselves that makes us able to serve Him, we can trust that His love will remain constant. His love remains constant even in the seasons when we feel like we are not able to serve Him the way we desire to. We have to remember, God always provides us with His strength to get through the difficult days. God always provides a way.
  2. God knows our limitations and has prepared things that you can do for Him with your current physical state. Our current health situation is not a surprise to God. He didn’t create a plan for our lives only to find out that we cannot do them in our current physical or mental state. Remember, God is sovereign and all-knowing. Before we were born, God knew the seasons of life we would walk through. God knew the challenges we would face. And He designed things for you to do to His glory as you live life with chronic illness. Ephesians 2:10 tells us this; “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”

Our limitations are real and valid. We should never be ashamed of our limitations. But through God’s power we can overcome all the limitations and storms life throws at us. God can miraculously work through our struggles in ways that are impossible for anyone but Him.

  1. Finally, living life, trusting God, and praising Him in the midst of the storms we face sometimes doesn’t seem very flashy or important. So many times Christians strive to look like super heroes to the world during their season of challenges. But God isn’t concerned  with how we look to other people. Simply being faithful to God in the midst of suffering doesn’t seem like a very big way to serve Him, but honestly it can be harder to persevere in the day to day struggles of life than to do one Huge thing for God. Simply living for God and thriving through our weaknesses can bring Him glory.

As we walk through our season of chronic illness, we will need to be vulnerable and let some people know what we’re going through. That circle of people can be as big or small as you want it to be. But if we do not let people know the struggles we are facing, how will they be able to walk with us during this difficult season? How will they experience the amazing power of God as He works in our lives? We do not have to share every little detail of our daily struggles, but share enough so people can pray for you. If we intentionally hide all our struggles from others, we are potentially robbing them of a blessing and the opportunity to see God at work.

We also have to constantly be in prayer. Our prayers are how we ask God for the strength to live for Him and thrive during this season of discomfort. Prayer is a lifestyle and a huge aspect of living our lives for God.

Joyfulness is one of the beautiful gifts in our walk with God. Our circumstances may be difficult, but when people see that we still have joy even though we are suffering, it points them to God. It is only through Him that we can have true joy, which is not shaped or determined by any circumstance. Where do we get this type of joy? This joy is a result of regularly saturating ourselves with God’s Word. By constantly keeping our eyes fixed on the promises of God. We can live in peace and joy, knowing God has our current situation under control and is working it out for our good.

So, let people see that you are suffering, but also let them see how God is allowing you to thrive and walk in joy during the suffering.

Walking through chronic illness is not easy. Never let anyone tell you how to live out your story. Each day is a struggle, but praise God that He is the one who guides us through those tough days. So, even if the way you serve God looks different than your healthy neighbor it is not lesser. I encourage you to keep leaning into the promises of God, the Author and Finisher of our faith, and keep on living for Him out of gratitude for the blessings in your life. ~OC

0

Be Real!

Today’s a new day! I have always loved the honesty of people in the Bible. As Jesus endured the cross, he cried out, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?” The Psalms are filled with brutally honest stories about God’s absence. Then you have Job.

The point here? God is not some angry old man yelling at us to get off his lawn. He is not waiting to strike us down with his holy stick when we express honest emotions.

In fact, I think the opposite is true. God wants us to be honest. Let’s keep it real. Some days life really does suck. At times I get frustrated with God about my health journey. And that’s okay, I believe. That’s part of what it means to be human. Difficult times are opportunities to be more human, more whole. More real. Must we be careful not to allow our anger to become sin or our identity? Yes. But suppressing emotions because they’re negative doesn’t make us a better Christian. It makes us less human, less holy and less receptive to growth. So never be afraid to be real with yourself, others and most importantly with God. ~OC

0

Keep Showing Up

Today’s a new day! You may not have much to bring to the table right now. And that’s okay. Sometimes just showing up requires extraordinary strength and faith. You could find a million reasons to give up, but please don’t. In the wilderness, showing up is an act of worship, a step of obedience towards God and a firm no in the face of the enemy’s lies. ~OC

0

Keep Living!

Good Morning! As I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have always tried to be honest and transparent about my health issues. So I wanted to share the latest update with you. I do not share this update for pity, but to hopefully encourage anyone walking through their own journey.

I met with my medical team this past week. The doctor shared my Parkinson’s has moved to Stage 3 out of 5. He upped my medication and started me on some new medication. The doctor wants me to start using a cane and a voice amplifier. My Myasthenia Gravis and Gastroparesis has gotten worse. Eating has become more of an issue. The doctor shared I could be in the beginning of a major decline. Not sure about that, because I have a lot of fight left in me. Laura and I continue to stay encouraged and believe God has some amazing plans for our future. We look at this as a little bump in the road. I am truly looking forward to all God has for me in this next chapter of the journey. ~OC

0

Chronic Illness and Friendships

Today’s a new day! This is an open letter about dealing with chronic illness and friendships. I apologize for the lengthiness of this post.

Dear Friends, I want to start off by saying, I have a few friends who have stuck by me every step of this health journey. We might not see or talk to each other every day, but we communicate often. I am thankful for each of them. The reason for this open letter is to share how chronic illness can affect a life. A friendship.

I am not angry with the friends who have walked away. I understand you never intended to hurt me. There was no malicious intent. But what unfolded was a by-product of the thoughtless-ness that is pervasive in our society.

As I walk through my crazy beautiful health journey, I have tried my best to stay in touch with friends. Either through visiting, social media, phone calls or text. Some have responded and some have not. A few believe I abandoned them, but I always tell them to check their phones. I will not own abandoning a friend if they do not respond to my phone calls or texts.

After I became very ill, the friendships I had built disappeared in stages. There was the initial drop-off. Hearing from them less and less. Then there were the ones I just never heard from again. Some were just friends on the outer edge, but a few had been close enough to have become like family.

The fact that some disappeared immediately actually made their absence less noticeable because, when I first became ill, I believed without a shadow of a doubt, I would be better soon, and our friendship would return. Sadly, time went on, and our friendship never returned. I had no cause to miss them at the beginning, and, by the time it became clear my illness was not short-term, their absence had become the norm. Chronic illness and friendships were seemingly not compatible.

There have been times I reach out to friends and while they answer, they make no real effort to continue the conversation. I try to keep the conversation going but eventually stop reaching out. Time is precious and I do not have time to waste.

On the occasions when friends do reach out and want to visit, I get excited only to be disappointed when they disappear for months or years. It’s as if they did their duty and reached out to me. They can check it off their list. Those friends circle around again when the guilt hits.

I remember when I experienced a miracle in my 18th year of being ill. Friends and strangers came from everywhere. They all wanted to be around the “Miracle Man.” To hear and use my story. And when my health took a turn for the worse again, most of them disappeared. I was no longer the flavor of the month.

Now into the twenty-first year of my health battle, my circle of friends as become very small. I am thankful for each of them. These days, I am very careful who I allow into my circle. Too many people with their own agendas have caused great pain.

Long-term health issues and friendships can be a difficult balancing act. In the beginning of a health crisis, there are many friends who walk along side the patient. But as the illness lingers, more and more friends drop off. Maybe it’s too overwhelming for them. Maybe it brings back hard memories. I am not sure why friends leave. Please believe me I am not criticizing them. I am sharing this letter to acknowledge we as a society have to do more to support our chronically ill and disabled populations. Not just the patients, but the caregivers too. That’s a whole different letter.

None of the friends who have walked away are bad people. They’re just regular broken people like all of us. But as a person living with long-term health issues, I sometimes wonder if there is something deficient in me that led those friends to leave. Those feelings are just part of the journey.

If you have a friend that is currently dealing with a chronic illness, please take the time to reach out to them. Doing this on a regular basis has a healing effect. In our technology -filled world, this is easy to do. Texting, email, and social media make it easy to stay in touch with people. Set a reminder on your phone to connect with that friend.

I know it can be hard to see a friend or loved dealing with a long-term health issue. Believe me, I have trouble seeing myself this way. But try to acknowledge their differences and limitations while still seeing them through the lens of the friendship you cultivated over the years. A small act of kindness goes a long way. Inviting that sick friend to events, even if you know they’re unable to attend will make them feel as though they haven’t been forgotten.

For those dealing with long-term health issues, please know it’s not your fault nor those around you. It’s not a lack of faith. Chronic illness and friendships aren’t the most comfortable of bedfellows. Could your friends have done better? Maybe. Did they do it intentionally? Probably not. I only believe in blaming people when they act on purpose. When people make a mistake, we shouldn’t punish them. Instead, we should ask them to become more conscious, understanding, and thoughtful. To teach society to act better next time, as I believe we can.

Does this empathy towards the people who unintentionally let me down make me feel better? In some ways, yes, and in others, no. It has allowed me to find clarity about the reality I find myself in. It has stopped me from wasting energy on useless and illogical emotions. It has left an emotional wound. It has left me exhausted.

Throughout this crazy beautiful health journey, I am thankful for my relationship with God. My faith has sustained me during this difficult and long battle. I praise Jesus for never leaving nor forsaking me. For being a real friend. I take comfort in the friendships I have left. I am thankful for the new friendships I will hopefully make along this journey. I am truly living a blessed life. ~OC

0

The Prodigal

Today’s a new day! Remember, we’re all prodigals until we come to a saving relationship with Jesus. So keep praying and loving the prodigal loved ones in your life. No judgment or condemnation. Just love and grace. ~OC

0

Catch It!

Today’s a new day! Our senses can become numbed in the aftermath of life storms, and the presence of suffering. But if the declaration of God’s love begins with awe, I can think of nothing more effective in helping to restore our wonder than by reminding ourselves through scripture, of just how much God loves us. So much so, that he sent His one and only son to die for us. (1 John 4:9-10)

One of my favorite scripture verses is found in Zephaniah 3:17:

“The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with his love, and rejoice over you in singing.”

Did you catch that? God will rejoice over us with singing. What a beautiful thought. God delights in us. When we have an accurate view of God’s amazing love for us, we can process our suffering through a lens of hope. And hope can turn our thoughts from being inward focused, to being upward focused. This change in perspective can make all the difference, in the presence of suffering. ~OC

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑