Tag: Never Give Up

Someday….

Today’s a new day!

Someday when the kids are grown…
Someday when I’m financially stable…
Someday when my life isn’t so crazy…
Someday when I feel like my family/ friends approve…

Someday when (fill in the blank with your reasons), I’ll follow this big dream that God has given me.

Sometimes God gives us a glimpse of what’s to come and we need to wait on His timing. We may have lessons to learn first. Or maybe there are things that need to be put in place before it’s time.

BUT..
When God says, “Do this…”, our only response should be to pray for guidance and obey.


Let me tell you a bit of my story…

I had been on my crazy beautiful health journey for several years when I began to feel very strongly that God had something more than just being a patient. That God could use me to pray for and encourage other patients walking through their own journey. I did not have the full picture at the time, but I knew that God had a beautiful plan for this journey.

As I spent more and more time in the hospital, doctor appointments and treatments, I began to see God using me and my story to reach other patients who were being overwhelmed by the day to day struggles of their health journey. Fellow patients were reaching out to me to share their stories and I was blessed to pray for them.

Over the past twenty-two years, I have been blessed to walk with many patients. I have watched some experience healing from their medical battle and I have seen some experience the ultimate healing by walking into the presence of God.

This amazing journey started with me looking past “Someday.” Someday when my health improves. Someday when I have all the answers. Someday when I am more qualified.

When God called me to walk with and help others walking through the medical world, I was not qualified, but I was willing. I did not have all the pieces to the puzzle, but I knew the One who did. All God wanted from me was a “Yes.”

“Yes” because God was so clear about my next step (He confirmed it in multiple ways) that I knew this was His will for me.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalms 119:105

I do not know what God is calling you to, but I encourage you to trust in Him with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. 

When God says, “Go!” You need to go. Even when it’s scary or doesn’t make sense to the world.

Being in step with God’s plan should always be our goal. It will not always be easy or seem “perfect” to us but we need to trust that He knows what He’s doing. Just keep leaning in and say yes. ~OC

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A Beautiful Gift

Today’s a new day! It’s only been a week since I was given the diagnosis of dementia. But the symptoms have been showing for a number of years. Since my diagnosis life has been filled with many phone calls and text from concerned family and friends. I appreciate them all. In the past week, here are some things I have thought about as I begin my journey with dementia.

My dementia diagnosis does not define me. Although the diagnosis is life changing, I will not allow it to change who I am. I will fight that battle for as long as I can. I will continue to love people the way I always have. Probably a little more. I totally understand dementia is a progressive disease and I may not be able to do all the things I once did, but I want to continue doing the things I enjoy for as long as I can.

If you want to know how I am doing, just ask me. The sudden change in how others communicate with me since my diagnosis has been a little frustrating. Trying to avoid conversations about my diagnosis of dementia will only make me feel uncomfortable and isolated. I am still me. For now.

Yes, the diagnosis is correct. I wish it wasn’t, but it is. Younger people can be diagnosed with dementia. While the vast majority of people are affected by dementia at an older age, the disease can affect younger individuals. If you have concerns about your own cognition, I encourage you to get checked out regardless of your age.

Please don’t debate my diagnosis or tell me I don’t look like I have dementia. Do not attempt to dismiss the diagnosis. Those responses can be offensive. It is hard enough to tell someone I have dementia , let alone having to defend it. You may not see my dementia, but I live with it every day.

Please understand that sometimes my words and actions will not be the true me. It’s the dementia. As the disease progresses, I might deal with anxiety, confusion and a host of other issues. There are days I may want to sleep more. Remember, I am still me, just a little different.

My dementia diagnosis does not mean my life is over. I plan on continuing to live an active and memory filled life as long as possible. Laura and I plan on continuing to embrace life to its fullest.

So please keep reaching out and treating me the same old way. Social interactions are very important to my wellbeing. So do not be afraid to call, come by the condo or plan a time to meet. My life continues to be a beautiful gift. ~OC

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Some Lessons Learned

Today’s a new day! As I have run this crazy beautiful health journey for the past twenty-two years, I am often asked about the lessons I have learned along the journey. So here are just a few lessons learned along this crazy beautiful journey.

  1. Bring your pain to God don’t run from Him: When you run from God in seasons of challenge, all you’re left with is your own limited ability to cope with what you’re walking through. On the other hand, God invites us to draw near to him that we might experience his peace, healing, and closeness and this is what Scripture points us towards.

 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18

When we bring our pain to God we recognize that there is a purpose and in time God who loves us unconditionally will reveal his divine purpose through it.

  1. Fill your life with God’s word and God’s people: How we respond to the trials of life is critical to how we process what’s happening and how healing will take place. If we treat physical sickness with the incorrect medication, not only will our sickness continue, but it could become worse.

That is why it’s so important to not fill our minds with wrong thoughts; like God is mad at me, God is not good, worse things are going to happen, etc. If we allow those negative thoughts in, we will struggle to experience the peace of God he promises to us in Scripture (Philippians 4:7).

But when we fill our life with God’s words and surround ourselves with people who speak hope and encouragement into our lives, our experience will be much healthier.

“How sweet your words taste to me; they are sweeter than honey.” Psalm 119:103

When we fill our minds with God’s Word, we are reminding ourselves of who our God is, what he’s like, and we replace the lies of the enemy with the truth of God.

  1. Don’t be filled with worry, overflow with worship: Something powerful happens when we actively choose to worship through our suffering. We are not denying reality, we are simply redirecting our posture from one of worry to one of worship.

Worship changes our perspective. Worship speaks about where our confidence and hope lives. Worship redirects our thinking. Worship places the results in God’s hands.

  1. Believe that God will turn your sorrow into great joy: One of the great challenges of our faith is realizing that God can use our pain for our good. Meaning that our biggest sorrows can result in our greatest joy. When you think about Jesus’ greatest sorrow – suffering the shame, punishment, and death for our sin, the result was great joy – the redemption of humanity and the opportunity for a relationship with the living God.

When I reflect on my long health journey, which has been filled with a lot of pain, suffering and loss, I am thankful I pressed into God’s presence and trusted his plan for my life. I have watched him use my health journey to strengthen and encourage others which has resulted in my own comfort and joy through this crazy beautiful health journey.

As you walk through your own suffering today or in the days to come, I pray you will hold on to these powerful promises from God:

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

As I continue to run this health battle, I am humbled that Jesus willingly suffered the greatest pain and death because He knew the end of the story and so do we. So keep leaning into the promises of God. ~OC

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When Life Knocks You Down

Today’s a new day! This has been a tough week for me mentally, physically emotionally and spiritually. I heard words from doctors this week that have not been promising. This week has made me press into my faith even more.

It’s easy to have faith when life is treating you well. When everything is working out. It’s much harder to have faith when you are facing challenges in your life. But that is exactly when you need to apply your faith. When you need to lean into your faith even deeper. Because faith is believing beyond the grime diagnosis from the doctors.

Faith is taking the first step.
Faith is jumping in the deep end and trusting everything will be okay.
It was easier to be positive back in the day, when I could lace up my running shoes and go for a 50 mile run. It’s much harder, much much harder when I have days where it’s hard to just walk across the living room without feeling like I have just run a marathon. Life was much easier when I could easily remember why I walked into another room. When my brain did not feel like I was in a constant fog. Living out our faith is so much easier when life is not so demanding. But that’s actually when we need faith the most.

We need faith and usually find faith when life is hard. On days, when we are fighting to just survive. Those are the days when we need faith the most. Because everything that means anything is worth the fight. Everything worth living for will require a real fight to achieve it. You and I cannot decide to quit half way through the race. We must run every step. Even when that next step is the hardest.

This crazy beautiful health journey has knocked me down a few times along the way. But I keep getting up. This week hit me like a severe cramp during a marathon. This week’s life changing diagnosis rocked my world. I was knocked down. I had to dig deep to get back up. But I did get back up. I didn’t stay down. My friend you need to keep getting back up when life knocks you down.

Here are 3 things I want to share about getting back up when life knocks you down.

1). Remember:
God still loves us and there are still many things to be thankful for.

We need to remember that God has given us many promises to hang onto. Check out Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, and Isaiah 40:31.

2). Connect:
The greatest temptation when we are feeling “down and out” is to isolate ourselves. We may feel embarrassed or lost about our current situation, or wonder if others will understand. We may think we can’t express how we are feeling. But the tough moments in life should connect us with God, our family and friends.

3). Pray:
We can pray that God will give us the opportunity to share what we are learning with someone else. As we begin to focus on others, we lose the grip of self-focus and all the negative feelings that can go along with it. Little by little, we will be planting seeds of a powerful life story we can tell some time in the future.

Here is a prayer that I hope helps as you walk through the tough days and keep getting back up:

Dear God, remind us that trials are to be expected. Help us keep our reactions under control and within Your will. Give us great strength to endure this trial in a way that is refining and transforming -for Your glory. ~OC

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Scream, Scream, Scream

Good Morning! As some of you know, I have been dealing with kidney stones for the last few week. The pain has been some of the worst I have ever dealt with. Probably having surgery this week to remove them. But I figured I might as well have some fun with it. So I wrote the following. As you read it, do so with Justin Timberlake’s song Can’t Stop The Feeling! on your mind. Feel free to laugh and dance.

I got this feeling inside my kidneys
It’s like I’m being stabbed with a rusted out knife, my screams can be heard throughout my home, all through our condo down to the city streets, my body feels the pain and I can’t turn it off,

I can’t stop the screaming
I can’t stop the screaming
I can’t stop the screaming

What I got going on in my stomach doesn’t feel like any type of sunshine in my pocket and when I jump around it’s not because I’ve got any soul in my feet, I feel that hot pain in my kidneys when my stones wake up and say hello, I guarantee you their not The Rolling Stones, but I agree with Jaeger I can’t get no satisfaction, even pain meds can’t take my mind off it, I pray it would just stop

I can’t stop the screaming
I can’t stop the screaming
I can’t stop the screaming

Nothing I can do but scream, scream, scream, as the pain intensifies I just scream, scream, scream
And that pain ain’t leaving until the surgeon takes away those dancing stones

After the stones are removed, It will be something magical, and I will dance, dance, dance and move so phenomenally, I will finally experience some satisfaction. Can’t wait to stop this feeling. ~OC

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Twenty-Five Years. Twenty-Five Lessons.

Earlier this week, Laura and I celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been 25 years. This year to celebrate 25 years together, I want to share 25 things we have learned in this crazy beautiful journey. Obviously, we have learned more than 25 things, but these are the things that came to mind as I was writing this blog.

1). Pray continually.

2).Our faith in God, is what holds us together.  It’s the foundation for our relationship.

3).Protect your marriage by always putting it first…before self, before kids, before career, before parents, before friends. First. Period.

4).It’s ok to talk about how you feel. Just make sure those conversations are filled with respect.

5).Time alone together is important. Date Nights and getting away together once or twice a year is healthy for your relationship.

6).Learn the other person’s love language.

7).Laughter is good for a relationship.

8).Develop a shared interest. It can be simple. Laura and I like to travel and just sit around our house and chill.

9).You will face challenges in life. Work through those tough moments together. Always together.

10).Don’t allow family, friends or cultural to dictate your marriage.

11).In-laws can be challenging at times, but also a beautiful blessing.

12). Marriage not 50/50. It’s 100/100. However, you will not always both be able to give 100% and that’s ok. There will be times you and the Lord will carry things for the both of you. That is Love.

13). Don’t keep score.

14). Make the choice daily to love your spouse.

15). Serve your spouse even when you’re tired and maybe you don’t feel like it.

16). Communicate! Don’t keep things bottled up.

17). It’s ok to agree to disagree.

18). Having a separate interest is okay as long as it doesn’t interfere with your relationship.

19).Listen and let them know they are truly heard.

20). Tell your spouse you’re proud of them.

21). Support their dreams.

22). Critique with love.

23). When life gets tough, remember what you love about them

24). It’s a treasure to have someone to walk through the highs and lows of life with you.

25). Love always.

I am forever grateful that God has blessed me with a bride who loves God first. Also I have always known Laura loves me even on my worst day.

As I reflect on our 25 years together, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 comes to mind:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

To those couples that might be reading this post, I pray you will cling to the Lord and each other.  It’s what has carried Laura and I this far and I know it will you as well. ~OC

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Thank You!

As I write this, Laura is fast asleep, her day will be filled with one thing after another. So I want to jot a few words that could never really approach an accurate measure of the gratitude I have that for the last 25 years, I have gotten to call her my bride.

I have heard many people give marriage advice over the years. But the best advice I can give any couple is to keep God at the center of your marriage and that your spouse becomes your best friend.

Today, Laura and I celebrate our 25th anniversary. And while I could wax poetic about love, commitment, romance, and other things that people associate with married couples, I want to thank my bride for the things that keep me glued to her, the small things that define why the man I see in the mirror today – despite no hair, the wrinkles and the body a little more worn out, is a better man than I was 25 years ago.

Thank you for always being my best friend, confidant and sounding board.

Thank you for smiling at me from across the room in a crowd of people to let me know that you still know I am there.

Thank you for being the first person I want to call to talk about a personal victory that might be small in the eyes of others, but monumental to me.

Thank you for being the first person I want to share my thoughts and writing with you.

Thank you for being my rockstar, chauffeur and health advocate over the years.

Thank you for always telling me the truth.

Thank you for sharing all the road trips with me and doing most of the driving.

Thank you for allowing me to be a collector of books and hats.

Thank you for helping me finish my thoughts. As my health declines and my thoughts are harder to find, you always make it a little easier.

Thank you for reminding me to eat and take in fluids.

Thank you for telling me to go to the doctor when I am just tired of going.

Thank you for seeing how tired I get in social settings and making sure I do not overdo it.

Thank you for finding so much in life to laugh at and with.

Thank you for your relentless pursuit in making our life better.

Thank you for laughing at and getting my dark sense of humor. I am thankful for your dark sense of humor.

Thank you for being the most selfless person I know.

And thank you for making me want to be a better man, not because of some expectation that you may have of me, but because I want to become a better man.

Thank you for showing patience as I walk through this health journey.

As we celebrate our 25th Anniversary, I love you more today than the day we said “I do.” Happy Anniversary! ~OC

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Friends

Today’s a new day! I believe we would all agree that good friendships add value to our lives. Great friends can bring out the best in us.

But sadly, we have all experienced moments in life where friends let us down. Those can be tough moments to walk through.

As I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey, I have felt the sting of friends deciding to walk way. Those moments can lead to some of the deepest pain in life. It can be easy to get bitter about the way those friends treated me.

When walking through those moments of loss, it can feel good to get angry in those times of hurt. But by holding on to those painful moments we can end up dealing with long-term trauma. When we look at Ephesians 4:31, we read about getting rid of bitterness and anger. By allowing those harmful emotions to take hold in our lives like nasty weeds, we could potentially cut ourselves off from valuable friendships.

But when we decide to mix forgiveness with honest and open communications we can help to alleviate the pain we feel and can help walk us down the road to recovering our friendship.

In Matthew 18:22, Peter asked Jesus how often we should forgive our brother. Peter thought he was being generous when he offered to forgive his brother seven times in one day. According to human thinking, that would be quite generous, but Jesus had a different answer: “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” What?

Jesus point was not to count up to 490 offenses and then stop forgiving the one who asks for forgiveness, but to forgive always. Forgiveness should be our state of mind. It should flow from our hearts. Just as God is merciful with us when we repent, we should be merciful to others.

When friends disappoint us, mercy is not always our first reaction, but it is a response that we must learn and practice. It is important to keep perspective and recognize that we are not always perfect friends.

In this journey called life, we have definitely disappointed our friends and how did we want to be treated in those moments? A good principle to remember is given in Proverbs 18:24, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” When we keep in mind our own shortcomings, it is much easier to extend mercy and grace to others.

Before Peter asked about forgiveness, Jesus gave instructions about what to do when our friends let us down. In Matthew 18:15-20, the topic of when our friends disappoint us is addressed.

The first step is to go to our friend privately and address the issue. Hopefully they will respond positively, and further steps will not be needed.

The key to going to our friends is that we must do so in love. In Proverbs 17:17 we read, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother and sister is born for adversity.” Without first being willing to forgive our friend and striving to remember our love for them, we run the risk of making matters worse. Our hurt feelings and disappointments may come out in anger and drive our friends away.

I believe friends are to hold each other accountable. Solomon wrote about this in Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” The point is not to tear each other apart, but to build each other up and hopefully make our relationship even stronger.

Once we have truly forgiven our friends and reached out to them, then the responsibility is on them to respond. Hopefully their response will be positive, and the problem will be resolved. But if not, we will have peace in knowing that we have done everything in our power to make amends.

There is joy that can come in gaining a friend back, but recognize that doesn’t always happen overnight. As time moves forward, our responsibility is to not allow disappointment to generate bitterness, but to replace that disappointment with love, grace and forgiveness. ~OC

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Adversity

Today’s a new day! Are you currently walking through a storm? Maybe you just came out of a season of trials. We have all been in one of those seasons at some point in our lives. But as we deal with the different trials of life, I believe that God has placed within each of us, seeds of strength, resilience, and fortitude. We can tap into an unbeatable spirit to overcome the adversities of life.

As I have run this crazy beautiful health journey for the last 22 years, I have leaned on the word of God to help me navigate through the storms of life. I pray the following words will help and encourage you as you run your own life journey.

(1) We can run in God’s Presence. In Matthew 28:20, “I am with you always even to the end of the world. And in Isaiah 41:10, we can lean into this promise “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
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Even when we suffer adversity, we can know that we are in the presence of God. What a great encouragement and comfort to help us through those difficult times.

(2) We can learn from God’s Promises. The Psalmist affirmed that God would be with us. That he is “our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.” God promises help. Comfort. Hope. And in 1 Peter 5:7, we read “And I will care for you.” God feels our pain. He will supply our every need.

(3) We can lean on God’s Power. No matter what we are facing in life, the love and power of God is with us. Finite strength is undependable and expendable, but God’s infinite power is sufficient for every need. Indeed we are “kept by the power of God” (1 Peter 1:5)

(4) We can look for God’s Purpose. I promise you God’s purpose is not to make you miserable. The Apostle Paul said to “rejoice in the Lord” God does not send pain, problems and pressures. God is the giver of good gifts. “Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.” ~James‬ ‭1‬:‭18‬ ‭

So what is God’s purpose for us when we face adversity? That’s a big question. But for me, it has taught me to Walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7) My season of adversity as made me stronger (James 1:2-3) I have learned to focus on the eternal plan in Jesus. (Ephesians 3:11) To claim victory through his love, grace and mercy. (Romans 8:30-31).

As we continue to run this race called life, we all will suffer moments of adversity. Sometimes we will experience extreme tragedy. Yet, whatever the trials, storms and tragedies we face, we can always walk in the hope, comfort, grace, strength and love of God. ~OC

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A Tradition

Today’s a new day! Like every other properly raised Southern person, today starts my favorite time of the year. College Football. It’s when you pull out your favorite team’s clothing and the next few months everything is scheduled around cheering on your favorite team. You plan your Saturday menus around college football. Games are taped so you can watch it again and again. It’s a new season and your team could win the National Championship. Hope runs through your heart and mind. College football season has started and all is well with the world. At least until kickoff. College football in the South is tradition. It’s a way of life. You don’t want to miss a moment.

For as far back as I can remember, SEC football has been a part of my life. Every Saturday since I was a kid everything revolved around SEC football and comfort foods. SEC football means one thing to me. Florida Gator Football. Over the years I have attended games at The Swamp in Gainesville, Florida. Nothing like the sounds and smells of Gator football surrounded by 90,000+ of your friends at Ben Hill-Griffin Stadium.

Now that I am grown and married, very little has changed on any given Saturday afternoon or evening in the Fall. Florida Gator Football still rules the day on a Saturday this time of year. Blue and Orange are still the colors of the day in our house. If you dare to enter, you will experience the Gator Chomp on more than one occasion.

Not sure how the rest of the country spends its Saturday, but in the South most people are planning their day around college football and cheering on their favorite team. It’s a way of life. It’s tradition. Enjoy! ~OC

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