Dear Caregivers: Please Don’t Forget Yourself

Today’s a new day!

Dear Caregivers,

Please take care of yourself.

I know that may sound simple, but for caregivers, it can be one of the hardest things in the world to actually do.

You spend your days worrying about someone else.

Their medications.
Their appointments.
Their meals.
Their pain.
Their bad days.
Their good days.
Their needs.
Their fears.

You become the organizer, advocate, chauffeur, encourager, nurse, protector, prayer warrior, and sometimes the person holding everything together when it feels like everything is falling apart.

And somewhere along the way, you can disappear from your own list of priorities.

Please don’t.

My wonderful bride has been living the life of a caregiver for more than twenty years.

Twenty years.

She has walked beside me through illnesses, doctors, hospitals, treatments, setbacks, victories, fear, uncertainty, and more twists and turns than either of us ever imagined when we said, “I do.”

She is a rockstar.

But even rockstars need rest.

Even the strongest people need someone to lean on.

Even caregivers need caregivers.

And that’s why I want to say something directly to every person reading this who spends their life taking care of someone else:

You are not selfish for taking care of yourself.

You are not selfish for going to your own doctor’s appointments.

You are not selfish for meeting a friend for coffee.

You are not selfish for laughing.

You are not selfish for taking a walk.

You are not selfish for taking an afternoon or weekend off.

You are not selfish for asking someone else to step in.

You are not selfish for saying, “I need help.”

In fact, asking for help may be one of the most responsible things you can do.

Because you cannot pour from an empty cup forever.

I have heard the statistic that 64% of caregivers die before the person they are caring for. Whether that exact number applies universally or not, the warning behind it is very real: caregiving can take an enormous physical, emotional, and spiritual toll.

Did you catch that?

The person taking care of everyone else can become so exhausted that they forget they are a person who needs care, too.

So, dear caregiver, let me remind you of something:

Your life matters, too.

Your health matters.

Your mental and emotional well-being matters.

Your friendships matter.

Your dreams matter.

Your laughter matters.

Your time with God matters.

Your rest matters.

You matter.

Please don’t wait until your body forces you to stop.

Go to the doctor.

Take the medication you need.

Get some sleep.

Eat something.

Drink some water.

Call a friend.

Go outside.

Take a breath.

Pray.

Cry if you need to.

Laugh when you can.

And when someone says, “How can I help?”—please don’t automatically answer, “I’m fine.”

Maybe give them something they can actually do.

“Can you sit with them for a couple of hours?”

“Can you bring us dinner?”

“Can you drive us to this appointment?”

“Can you just come over and let me talk?”

Let people love you.

Because caregiving was never meant to be a one-person job.

My bride has taught me so much about love through the way she has cared for me for more than two decades. But I don’t want her—or any caregiver—to lose themselves while caring for someone they love.

You don’t have to destroy yourself to prove that you love someone.

Read that again.

You don’t have to destroy yourself to prove that you love someone.

Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you love the person you’re caring for any less.

It means you’re giving yourself a better chance to keep walking beside them.

So, to every husband, wife, son, daughter, parent, sibling, friend, or stranger who has quietly become somebody’s caregiver:

I see you.

I appreciate you.

I honor you.

And I’m asking you—please take care of yourself.

Ask for help.

Accept help.

Make the doctor’s appointment.

Call your friends.

Take the day off when you can.

Sit somewhere quiet.

Take a deep breath.

And remember that you are more than the role you have been given.

You are a human being, not just a caregiver.

You deserve to live, too.

Because the goal isn’t simply to survive caregiving.

The goal is for both of you to keep living.

So, dear caregivers…

Please don’t forget yourself while you’re taking care of someone else.

You are needed.

You are loved.

You are valuable.

And yes—

you matter, too. ~OC

Jesus Over Tribalism

I have come to a place in my faith where I would rather upset my fellow Christian community by loving the people Jesus called us to love than fit comfortably among Christians united by who they condemn.

That may not always make me popular.

It may not earn me invitations.

It may make some people question my theology, my priorities, or even my faith.

But I can live with that.

Because when I look at Jesus, I don’t see someone building His ministry around determining who was worthy of love.

I see Him moving toward the hurting.

Toward the rejected.

Toward the outcast.

Toward sinners.

Toward people religious society had already written off.

Jesus touched the untouchable.

He ate with people others avoided.

He spoke with people others ignored.

He defended people others condemned.

He showed mercy when others demanded judgment.

And He commanded us to love our neighbors—not just the neighbors who look like us, vote like us, worship like us, think like us, or agree with us.

Love is not supposed to be selective.

If my Christianity requires me to hate someone in order to prove that I belong to the right group, then I need to take another long look at Jesus.

I don’t want to be part of a Christian community that is united primarily by the people it opposes.

I want to be part of a Church united by the One it follows.

Jesus.

I would rather be criticized for loving too many people than praised for condemning too many.

I would rather be accused of having too much compassion than too little.

I would rather stand beside someone who is hurting and remind them that they are loved than stand at a distance and remind them of everything they have done wrong.

That doesn’t mean truth doesn’t matter.

It does.

But Jesus never separated truth from love.

Grace and truth walked together.

So if loving like Jesus makes me uncomfortable to some Christians, I’ll accept the discomfort.

If compassion makes me controversial, so be it.

If welcoming the hurting makes some people question me, I’ll answer with the example of Christ.

Because at the end of the day, I don’t want to be known as someone who was really good at identifying who was wrong.

I want to be known as someone who loved people well.

I want people to encounter Jesus when they encounter me.

Not my politics.

Not my anger.

Not my judgment.

Not my tribe.

Jesus.

There are already enough Christians standing together because of who they condemn.

I want to stand with Christians who are willing to love because of who Jesus is.

So yes…

I would rather upset my fellow Christians by loving the people Jesus called us to love than fit comfortably among Christians united by who they choose to condemn.

Because I would rather be uncomfortable with people while following Jesus…

than comfortable with people while becoming unlike Him.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” — John 13:35

Love isn’t weakness.

Love isn’t compromise.

Love isn’t abandoning truth.

Love is one of the clearest ways we show the world that we belong to Jesus. ~OC

True Difference-Makers

Today’s a new day!

We live in a culture that often celebrates the loudest voices, the biggest platforms, and the wealthiest people. Every day we are bombarded with stories of people chasing power, fame, influence, and money, as though those things alone define a successful life.

But I have discovered something far more inspiring.

There are still people quietly changing the world.

They may or may not trend on social media. They may or may not become household names. They may or may not receive the recognition they deserve. Yet every single day they choose compassion and truth over applause, service over status, and people over personal gain.

I wanted to take a moment to recognize just a few individuals whose lives have encouraged me.

Ricky Aiken- Inner City Innovators:

Ricky Aiken has dedicated his life to investing in young people and underserved communities through Inner City Innovators (https://innercityinnovators.org/). Rather than asking, “How can I become successful?” he asks, “How can I help someone else succeed?”

His work is about creating opportunities where others see obstacles, building hope where many only see despair, and reminding people that every life has value.

That kind of leadership isn’t built on ego.

It’s built on love.

Bryan Stevenson-Equal Justice Initiative:

Bryan Stevenson has spent decades standing beside people whom much of society has forgotten. Through the Equal Justice Initiative (https://eji.org/), he has become a powerful voice for justice, mercy, and human dignity.

One of his most memorable statements is this:

“Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.”

Those words reflect a truth Christians 

understand well. Every one of us stands in need of grace. Every one of us has been offered redemption through Christ.

Justice without compassion becomes cold.

Compassion without justice becomes incomplete.

Bryan Stevenson reminds us that both matter.

Benjamin R. Cremer:

Benjamin Cremer (https://benjaminrcremer.substack.com/ ), consistently challenges Christians to look more like Jesus than like the culture around us.

His writing encourages believers to choose humility over arrogance, love over outrage, and faithfulness over political power.

In a time when Christianity is too often associated with division, Benjamin continually points people back to the heart of Jesus.

Not everyone agrees with him.

That isn’t the point.

His willingness to speak with humility, compassion, and conviction is something our world desperately needs.

Suleika Jaouad:

Suleika Jaouad (https://www.suleikajaouad.com/), has shared her deeply personal journey through illness, uncertainty, hope, and resilience with remarkable honesty.

Instead of allowing suffering to define her, she has used it to connect with countless others walking through their own difficult seasons.

She reminds us that healing isn’t always about becoming who we once were.

Sometimes healing is becoming someone entirely new.

As someone who has spent many years navigating serious health challenges, I deeply appreciate voices that speak honestly about pain while refusing to surrender hope.

A Different Kind of Legacy

These four people come from different backgrounds.

They may have different beliefs.

They may serve in different ways.

Yet they share something that seems increasingly rare.

They have chosen to live for something bigger than themselves.

They remind us that changing the world doesn’t always happen from a stage.

Sometimes it happens in a courtroom.

Sometimes it happens in forgotten neighborhoods.

Sometimes it happens through honest conversations.

Sometimes it happens one person at a time.

What Will Be Said About Us?

When our lives are over, people probably won’t remember how many followers we had.

They won’t remember how much money we accumulated.

They won’t remember how famous we became.

They will remember how we treated people.

Did we lift others up?

Did we stand beside those who were hurting?

Did we speak truth with grace?

Did we leave the world more compassionate than we found it?

Jesus never told His followers to seek fame.

He told us to love our neighbors.

He never instructed us to chase power.

He taught us to become servants.

He never measured success by influence.

He measured it by faithfulness.

Perhaps that’s the kind of legacy worth pursuing.

In a world obsessed with being noticed, may we become people who quietly notice others.

Because those are often the people who change the world the most. ~OC

Human Trafficking: The Conversation We Cannot Afford To Avoid

Today’s a new day!

For almost twenty years, I have been involved in the fight against human trafficking. It has been one of the most rewarding and heartbreaking journeys of my life. I have seen lives restored, survivors find hope, and communities come together to protect the vulnerable. But I have also seen unimaginable pain, brokenness, and exploitation.

One thing that continues to break my heart is the response I sometimes receive when trying to discuss this horrific crime. More than once, I have heard people say, “I don’t want to hear about that.”

Every time I hear those words, a question immediately comes to mind: What if it were your child? What if it were your grandchild? What if it were your neighbor’s child? Would you still not want to hear about it?

The reality is that human trafficking thrives in darkness and silence. The traffickers count on people looking away. They count on communities being uncomfortable. They count on society deciding that the subject is too disturbing to discuss.

As followers of Jesus, we are called to do the opposite.

Jesus never ignored suffering. He never walked away from broken people because their situation was uncomfortable. He stepped into the pain. He confronted evil. He brought light into dark places. If we are going to follow His example, we cannot close our eyes to the suffering happening around us.

The truth is that every statistic represents a real person. Every number has a name. Every victim has a story. Every life being trafficked is a life created in the image of God. These are sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, friends and neighbors whose dreams are being stolen and whose dignity is being attacked.

Ending human trafficking will require more than awareness campaigns and social media posts. It will require courageous people willing to have difficult conversations. It will require churches willing to educate their congregations. It will require parents willing to talk to their children. It will require communities willing to recognize the warning signs and refuse to remain silent.

Yes, these conversations can be uncomfortable. Yes, they can be heartbreaking. But difficult conversations often lead to life-saving action.

Proverbs 31:8 tells us, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.”

That is not a suggestion. It is a calling.

We cannot protect what we refuse to discuss. We cannot fight what we refuse to acknowledge. We cannot rescue people if we choose comfort over compassion.

My prayer is that the Church would be known not for avoiding hard topics but for courageously confronting them with truth, love, and action. May we be people who refuse to look away. May we be people who speak up for the vulnerable. May we be people who shine the light of Christ into some of the darkest places in our world.

Because every statistic is a person.

Every person matters to God.

And that is reason enough to have the tough conversations.

This message is difficult, but it’s one that can help bring awareness, protection, and hope to those who need it most. ~OC

Purpose In The Pain

Today’s a new day! There is pain and suffering involved with this crazy beautiful health journey. To endure, I must stay focused on the purpose of the journey. My crazy beautiful health journey has given me clear purpose. That purpose is to love people without judgement and to serve God. ~OC

Big Money! Don’t Apologize.

Free agency started in the NBA yesterday. Some huge contracts were signed and more to come. I have already seen some negative post about athletes making so much money. I am sure there will be more negative post and articles. Would I love for our teachers, nurses, first responders and those in the military sign those huge contacts instead of athletes? I would love that. Sadly, that will not happen anytime soon. In America we love our sports. I am definitely guilty of being a huge fan. That is why I will never criticize an athlete for making millions of dollars. We the fans created the market. So we have to live with seeing athletes continuing to sign big money deals. I always find it interesting that we celebrate the business owner who does well financially and call it free enterprise. The American Dream! But when it comes to athletes, we complain they are overpaid. Which I believe most of them are, but once again we the fans created the market. If we truly wanted to see our teachers, nurses, first responders and military personnel given million dollar contracts we would demand it. But we don’t. Instead of complaining about the huge contracts athletes are signing, start demanding that we pay our teachers, nurses, first responders and military personnel what they truly deserve. As voters, we have the power to effect change. For me, I will continue to support an athletes right to sign those huge contracts. One day, I hope to celebrate our teachers, nurses, first responders and military personnel signing those huge contracts. ~OC

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑