Tag: Pain

Health Update

Today, I was released from the hospital. My condition is still considered very serious, but my medical team felt I would be more comfortable at home. Walking through my own front door felt surreal — a mix of gratitude, relief, and the quiet weight of reality. Hospitals have a rhythm of their own: monitors beeping, nurses checking in, the steady hum of constant care. Home is different. Home is where the fight becomes more personal.

My body and mind have become very tired of this long health journey. There’s a kind of exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix — the kind that settles deep into your bones after years of pushing through appointments, procedures, waiting rooms, and unknowns. I continue to fight, but that fight is getting harder. That’s just me being real with you. Strength doesn’t always look like standing tall and fearless. Sometimes it looks like admitting you’re worn down and showing up anyway.

This journey has stretched me in ways I never imagined. It has taught me that courage can be quiet. That hope can flicker but still refuse to go out. That even on the days when I feel fragile, there is still a part of me choosing to stay, to try, to believe. Being home reminds me that this journey isn’t only physical — it’s emotional, spiritual, relational. It’s allowing yourself to rest without guilt. It’s letting others help. It’s accepting that you can be both strong and struggling at the same time.

I hope my health journey can help someone else walking out their own crazy beautiful journey. If you’re in the middle of yours — tired, uncertain, wondering how much more you can carry — please know you’re not weak for feeling that way. You’re human. And even when the fight feels heavier than ever, there is something incredibly powerful about your decision to keep going. We don’t always get to choose our battles, but we do get to choose to face them with honesty. Today, I’m choosing honesty. And I’m choosing to keep fighting, one breath at a time. ~OC

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A Life Of Significance

Today’s a new day! This crazy beautiful health journey has taught me so many lessons over the years. There have been mountaintop victories and quiet valley battles—moments when strength felt limitless and others when even getting out of bed felt like a triumph. I’ve learned that health isn’t just about numbers on a chart; it’s about gratitude, surrender, and perspective. It’s about understanding that every breath is a gift and every setback can become a teacher. Pain has a way of refining what comfort never could. It strips away the noise and reveals what truly matters.

For me, one of the most important lessons has been this: LIVE A LIFE OF SIGNIFICANCE. Not a life chasing applause. Not a life measured by likes, titles, or temporary victories. But a life poured out with purpose. A life rooted in faith. A life for Jesus. Significance isn’t about being known by everyone—it’s about being faithful to the One who knows you completely. When I choose to live for Christ, my journey- every struggle, every breakthrough—becomes an offering. My scars tell a story of grace. My perseverance becomes a testimony. Living for Jesus transforms ordinary days into eternal impact, and that is a legacy worth building. ~OC

***You can check out the spoken word version on my YouTube Channel Todd E Shoemaker Music.

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Beyond the Chaos

Today’s a new day! My heart breaks for America,

Turn on the news and all I see is chaos,

A country divided, fractured and torn.

I don’t care if you voted left, right, or somewhere in between,

If your heart’s not breaking for the hurt and pain we see,

You might need to check your pulse and see if you’re still alive.

We scream and we shout, we dig in our heels,

But the truth is, we’re dying, we’re losing our way.

We’re so busy building walls, we’re forgetting to build bridges,

We’re so busy pointing fingers, we’re forgetting to hold hands.

Dear God, please help America come together,

Put away our differences, and actually live

Like the United States of America.

Help us see the humanity in each other,

Help us hear the cries of the broken and the pain.

Help us love like You loved, with a love that’s radical and true,

A love that unites, a love that heals, a love that’s new.

We need a revival, a awakening,

A return to compassion, to empathy, to love.

We need to see each other, not as enemies, but as brothers and sisters,

United in our struggles, in our hopes, in our dreams.

Let’s rise up, let’s rise above,

The noise, the hate, the fear, the pride.

Let’s be the change, let’s be the love,

That America needs, that the world needs, that we all need today. ~OC

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Blinders

Today’s a new day! Jesus will not be used, not by false teachers or false ideology

He’s not a trophy to be won, not a prize to be claimed

He’s the Shepherd, searching for the lost, healing the broken

Not cheering on those in power, playing games with people’s lives

You’re trying to fit Him into your politics, your agenda

But He’s the one who’s calling, “Come to me, all you weary”

He’s not pleased with those who use His name

To justify their power, their pride, their prejudice

You’ve hitched your wagon to a politician, a political party

Thinking it’s winning, but it’s leading you astray

Your political agenda’s blinding you, can’t see the truth

God’s love is for everyone, not just those who fit your mold

Dear Pastors , you’re accountable for the lost souls, the ones who never see

The love of God, the light of Heaven

You think you’re winning, but at what cost?

When the broken are still hurting, and the lost are still lost

Time to take off your blinders, see God’s truth

He’s not a Republican or Democrat, He’s love

He’s not a winner of elections, He’s the King of hearts

He’s calling you to love, to serve, to give, not to side with an Elephant or Donkey 

Don’t let your politics, your ideology, be the filter

Through which you see God, through which you love others

Jesus is clear: love God, love your neighbor

Not a political statement, but a love revolution

So, Dear Christian, Dear Church, it’s time to wake up

Time to see the faces, the names, the stories

Of those you’ve left behind, those you’ve hurt

Jesus is weeping, “I was hungry, thirsty, naked, alone”

Will you answer, “Lord, I was blind, but now I see”?

Or will you keep chasing the wind, the power, the fame?

Choose love, choose God, choose the narrow way

Before it’s too late, before the curtain closes. ~OC

****To hear the spoken word go to my YouTube page at Todd E. Shoemaker Music

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True Friendship

Today’s a new day! A true friend is not the one who is there just during the good times, but is the one who decides to stay with you during the darkest storms.

The measure of true friendship isn’t found in shared moments of celebration and easy times, but in unwavering support during life’s toughest storms.

A true friend doesn’t desert you when challenges arise; instead, they stand by your side, offering comfort, strength, and unwavering support. Their presence is a steadfast anchor in turbulent waters, a source of solace and encouragement that helps you navigate life storms and emerge stronger on the other side.

This steadfastness, this unwavering commitment in the face of adversity, is the hallmark of a friendship that truly endures. ~OC

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The Week Ahead

Good morning family and friends.The next few weeks are busy.

Monday: Two Medical Appointments

Tuesday: Having a new port put in.

Thursday: Traveling to Plains, GA for my birthday celebration.

Thursday 12/11: Starting outpatient treatments.

Continuing to pray for each of you. ~OC

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Finding Purpose in the Storm

Today’s a new day! As I sit in this hospital room, surrounded by beeping machines and the business of staff, I am reminded that my purpose extends far beyond my physical body. In the midst of uncertainty and pain, I pray: Dear God, use me for your purpose during this hospital stay and every day as I continue to fight through this crazy beautiful health journey.

For me it’s a prayer of surrender, of trust, and of faith. It’s a reminder that even in the darkest moments, God’s love and patience remain unfailing.

Embracing the Unknown:

When we’re faced with the challenges of life, it’s easy to feel like our lives are spinning out of control. But what if we flipped that perspective? What if this season of uncertainty is an opportunity to discover a deeper sense of God’s purpose for our lives?

For those walking through their own “crazy beautiful journey,” I encourage you to pray the following: Dear God, use me for your purpose… I am thankful for your unfailing love and patience with me.

Practical Ways to Find Purpose:

1. Prayer and Reflection: Take time each day to connect with God. Reflect on your experiences, and ask Him to reveal His purpose for your life.

2. Support Loved Ones:Reach out to family and friends, and let them know you’re thinking of them. Sometimes, a simple text, handwritten note or phone call can bring joy to someone’s day.

3. Share Your Story: Consider sharing your journey on social media, a blog or write a book. Your story might encourage others who are facing similar challenges.

4. Find Ways to Serve: Even in a hospital room, you can serve others. Share words of encouragement with the staff, pray for the staff and others walking down the hall. Show kindness and respect to everyone you encounter today.

A Prayer of Thanksgiving:

As I continue to navigate through this health journey, I am grateful for God’s unfailing love and patience. I’m thankful for a loving and supportive bride, I am thankful for my medical team that’s been taking care of me for many years, I am blessed by the the loved ones who pray and support me, and for the opportunities to grow in my faith.

If you happen to be reading this post and are facing your own challenges, know that you’re not alone. You’re loved, you’re valued, and you’re part of a larger story.

A Prayer for Today:

Dear Jesus, use us for your purpose during the stressful times of life and every day as we continue to navigate through this journey called life. We’re thankful for your unfailing love and patience with us. Amen

Challenge of the Day:

How can you use your life experiences, past and present to bless and help others today? ~OC

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The Butterfly

Today’s a new day! Change can feel uncomfortable and painful at times, but if we don’t allow ourselves to go through all the stages of change, nothing will change. We know all too well that change is a constant in life. Many times we fight that change. Especially when it happens so fast.

As I have walked out this crazy beautiful health journey, I have often thought about the butterfly. Do you know on average, butterflies only live two to four weeks. How crazy is that? But think about all the changes a butterfly experiences in such a short amount of time. During my health journey, I have experienced a lot of change. Every new health issue or near death experiences has allowed me to grow and become all that God created me to be. He has used the all my experiences to teach me new lessons and view the world differently.

To become a butterfly, they must first start off as a caterpillar. They begin crawling along the ground, creating their comfort zone. The moment it’s time to change from a caterpillar into a cocoon, they probably think they’re dying. It feels like life is over. Then they experience something beautiful, but probably a little painful. During this health journey, I have experienced many different stages of growth. So many times I truly thought I was dying. I was sure I was breathing my last breath and soon I would experience the freedom of Heaven. Those moments are never easy, but unlike the caterpillar, I did not experience uncertainty or confusion. No, in those moments I experienced peace. I also experienced something beautiful. A new chance at life.

This health journey has been filled with some difficult moments. Those difficult moments have helped me grow into a deeper relationship with Jesus. In this season, I have learned to not fight all the changes going on in my body. I have not let my health issues become my identity, but instead have allowed God to use life changing moments to teach me the lessons He has for me at that moment. God has taught me to embrace each and every lesson along the journey. He has allowed me to embrace the uncomfortable and painful moments. Getting to know your own uncomfortable self is not something to fear, but something to embrace. I promise you, keeping your faith and having the patience to hold on gets a little easier over time. Does it get less painful? Sometimes, but the suffering becomes more about growing in our walk with Jesus and less about the pain. As you walk out your own journey, learn to be patient and not beat yourself up so much. As I continue to walk through this health journey, God has made me stronger, more hopeful and more confident whenever I walk through a cocoon season of life.

So today, make the decision to walk in the light of Jesus and be free. Don’t waste one single minute. Strive for growth, not perfection. Commit to living out your God given purpose. Embrace every moment and surround yourself with inspiring and encouraging people. Strive each day to be all God created you to be. Do not allow fear or past failures to keep you from spreading your wings and flying. ~OC

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Christians and Tragedies

Today’s a new day! The past few weeks have been tough for many. So many tragedies happening around America and across the world. I have been saddened by so much hate being posted on social media regarding some of the evil acts of violence. I have been trying to process everything over the past week and did not want to post anything that would cause anymore pain. But today, I am ready to share.

As Christians, we should care when any life is taken through tragic circumstances. It should not matter if we agree or disagree with the person who has been targeted by hateful individuals. So below, is how I choose to respond to tragic events regardless of who the victim is:

  1. Compassion and Empathy: Show love and care for those affected, regardless of differences.
  2. Prayer and Support: Offer spiritual support through prayer and practical help.
  3. Justice and Advocacy: Work towards understanding and addressing the root causes of the tragedy.
  4. Forgiveness and Grace: Embody forgiveness, even when disagreeing with the person involved.
  5. Community and Unity: Come together with others to provide comfort and support.

Here are some biblical references that can help guide how Christians respond to tragedy:

  • Matthew 5:44 (loving enemies and praying for those who persecute)
  • Luke 6:27-36 (loving enemies and doing good to those who hate)
  • Romans 12:14-21 (blessing persecutors and not seeking revenge)

I believe these principles and scriptures can help Christians and nonbelievers navigate through the tough moments we face in life.

Also a word of advice for my brothers and sisters in Christ about responding to social media post. Always remember to handle every situations with kindness, understanding and allow your faith to be a blessing and not a distraction during these complex times. Let your light shine bright at all times.

Thanks for taking the time to read this post. Have a wonderful day. Blessings. ~OC

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2AM Thoughts

Today’s a new day! It’s 2am on this Tuesday morning. I have been unable to fall asleep. It’s just one of those crazy nights with Parkinson’s and Dementia. So I have walked around the house more times than I can remember. I have watched several YouTube videos to pass the time. Finally, I have decided to share my experience and thoughts with you. Writing is still something my brain allows me to do on occasion. Lately, God has filled my brain with many thoughts. I feel an urgency to write as much as possible before I can no longer do that. Tonight, my brain is extra active. That’s not always a good thing.

I have good days and bad days as I navigate through the multiple health issues that are slowly robbing me of so much. On a bad day, I cannot do anything at all. My energy levels are low and I feel fatigued. The only way I can describe it is that I feel like I have run a hundred marathons in a very short amount of time. I feel totally drained.

But I have lots of coping strategies. I choose to use those days to pray a lot more. I choose to reach out to friends even though I know, I will not hear back from the majority of them.

I think it’s important to have something that gives you a sense of purpose in life. I try to share my journey to help encourage others walking through their own life struggles. If I can help just one other person, that’s enough for me.

When most people think about neurological issues, especially dementia they think it’s all about memory loss. But I have cognitive issues also- trying to figure things out can be difficult and frustrating. Also too many voices at one time can be overwhelming. I get frustrated and anxious if I am struggling to follow the conversation. I also deal with a lot of rigidity and pain, which creates so many issues.

Over the years I have lost many friends as I have walked through this crazy beautiful health journey. I believe a lot of people have a difficult time talking to and relating to me. But I am still me. My story has just changed a little. A lot of times when Laura and I are around other people, they will address questions to her, not me. My prayer is that people would see the person, not the disease.

But I am blessed that a few friends have decided to stick around and not jump ship. I hold those friendships very close to my heart.

I choose to embrace each moment of life. I try to share my love and thoughts now. Not waiting for the perfect moment. Because the perfect moment is today. Laura and I do not wait for the perfect moment to buy that gift or take that trip. Now is the perfect time. Now is the perfect time to take care of future arrangements. Which we have done. I did not want Laura dealing with all of that on her own.

It also means we’ve had really indepth chats about what quality of life really looks like. Everyone has to figure that out for themselves and their loved ones.

Life looks different every day. What I could do yesterday, might be more difficult to accomplish today. I continue to live my life with my cup overflowing. I try not to beat myself up too much when I cannot do something anymore. Because there are still many things I can do. So today, I choose to embrace the now and what I can accomplish today. ~OC

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