Tag: Pain

Are You a 3am Friend?

Good evening! It’s 10:15pm here in South Florida, as I sit in my recliner and write this post. I have a question to ask? Do you have a 3am friend?

OC, what in the world is a 3am friend? I’m glad you asked. A 3am friend is a friend you can call at 3am when the storms of life hit. Where most people would probably not even answer the phone, a 3am friend welcomes your call.

The 3am friend is one of the most important people in our lives. It doesn’t matter if these are work friends, faith friends, or family relations.

You can call that 3am friend because you’re confident that they care about you even when they are distracted by their own challenges or recovering from a hard day. You can also trust them to respect and support you even when they see you at your worst.

Do you have 3 a.m. friends? More importantly, are you a 3 a.m. friend for others?

I hope your answer to both questions is, “Yes, of course.” But that isn’t true for all of us, nor is it true all the time. There are all kinds of fancy ideas and theories about “community.” I don’t pretend to have a mastery of what all possible communities could or should look like. But at the end of the day, communities do one critically important thing: they create relationships. Supportive and loving relationships.

The simplest way to build community is by letting others know that we want to be their 3 a.m. friend. Maybe you are ready to be that 3 a.m. friend, and they don’t know it.

On a number of occasions, friends have surprised me by calling me in the middle of night with a crisis. Perhaps they needed someone to support family members waiting tensely in an emergency room. Perhaps they were overwhelmed by the pressures of life. Maybe they needed someone to just listen to them. Maybe they needed prayer.

Over the years, I have come to realize that it is an honor to be trusted in moments like that. When someone shares their vulnerability, they are inviting us to know them in a deeper way.

If you’ve never done it, I suggest that, right now, you call or text the people that you know are your 3 a.m. friends. Thank them for filling this role in your life even if you’ve never needed to make that call. If there are people that you know whose middle-of-the-night calls you would welcome, consider letting them know how you feel.

While we can talk about “building community” in fancy ways elsewhere, this may be the most important community you will ever have. God knows you need them and they need you.

So, if you ever need a 3am friend, please reach out to me. I would be honored to do life with you. Even at 3am. Blessings. ~OC

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What Do You See?

Today’s a new day!

What do you see in the world around you? Broken hearts, broken souls, or even lives that seem lost forever?  Some say they will never change or they aren’t worth it.

So here’s my question… If we see these things and don’t reach out with compassion and love to help their situation, are we saying they don’t matter?

Maybe we are saying it’s not my problem, or someone else will handle it. Seeing the world today makes me wonder, are we truly seeing all these things but our hearts are blind to caring for others through compassion, sharing God’s love and reaching out to see what we may do to ease the pain?

Now for those of you thinking, I understand some folks don’t want or can’t expect help.  But what about the ones who want help but don’t reach out because of judgement?  How about sharing with them that God never wants our perfect plans, He wants us the imperfect us. 

He wants my heart open to give someone hope and to show them love and joy through Him.  God’s heart beats for the broken.  If we cling to the Spirit of God, we will begin to see it is not by sight, nor by might, but by the Spirit of God.

Open your heart to those hurting and lost; show them how God loves them today, yesterday and in the days to come. He will stop at nothing to hear our broken cries. 

So I ask you to close your eyes right now, so your heart can see again.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

I pray your day is filled with amazing moments and God’s blessings. ~OC

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Beautiful Gift

Today’s a new day! In late 2002, I was diagnosed with several forms of crippling arthritis. I would spend nearly a year taking multiple experimental drugs to help fight the arthritis. Unfortunately, those medications did more damage than good. Fast forward to August 2003, I had a chest scan done after coughing up blood on my way home from work. That scan would change my life forever. A few weeks after the scan a biopsy would reveal that tumor sitting in my chest was cancerous. The results would change the way I live life forever. After having the tumor removed a short time later, I thought the worst was over. I had no idea that four years later I would be diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s. Of course my symptoms had shown up years before, but I never paid any attention to them. I blew it off as stress or fatigue. Then a few short years later, I would be diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis. Maybe I should have started playing the lottery. Then about eight years later, I would be diagnosed with Gastroparesis. What are the odds? Well, some on my medical team have shared I am one in two billion. Where’s that winning lottery ticket?

Over these past twenty-two years, I have learned, and continue to learn, about living with persistent pain, near-constant fatigue and constant unsteadiness. I stress living, though I am also learning about dying. We’re all, always, dying-while-living and living while dying. My experiences with these multiple health issues simply make me more aware of death’s relentless work and also, mercifully, makes me more attentive to life’s beautiful gifts. Among them are:

The amazing gift of conversations, laughter, tears, prayers, encouragement and amazing times with family and friends.

The beautiful gift of music and books.

The beautiful gift of memories from my running days.

The beautiful gift of a call or visit from friends.

The amazing gift of sunrises and sunsets.

The gift of a quiet morning before the battle of another day begins.

The amazing gift of experiencing healing in so many different ways.

The gift of experiencing the many blessings of God.

The beautiful gift of hearing God speak to my spirit.

The gift of a quiet evening on the balcony with my bride.

The beautiful gift of almost 25 years with my bride.

The amazing gift of continuing to make beautiful memories with my bride.

The gift of outliving all the predictions of my death.

The gift of knowing God has everything under control.

In the time I have left (I am taking on the challenge to outlive the current prognosis), I intend to live close to the veil, at the threshold, and at the feet of the God upon whom angels descend and ascend. I hope to say what I hear, describe what I see, and offer what I receive because it is good, hopeful and healing. Every day, I choose to be The Man Who Refuses to Die and embrace the beautiful gifts of life. ~OC

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Sharing My Journey

Today’s a new day! I did not choose this journey. I didn’t choose to become an Overcomer or The Man Who Refuses to Die. But God, in His wisdom, has allowed me to live much longer than my medical team’s predictions. My blog is a peek into how I run this crazy beautiful health journey.

I am a journal keeping and scripture reading man. In the twenty-two years of running this crazy journey, I have learned to let God’s words flow through every area of my life. God has allowed me to become a traveling prayer warrior, a storyteller and missionary.

As I have run this race, God has taught me to not rush through the stories of life. He has shown me how to slow down and really listen to peoples stories and embrace the beautiful interruptions of life.

I am thankful God did not give me the whole story of this crazy health journey at once. No, in His wisdom God has only given me what he knows I can handle at that moment. Of course, without God I could never handle any of this. That’s why I choose to put everything in His hands.

As I share my journey, I try to be as honest as my heart allows. I want people to see both the pain of this journey and the faithfulness of God in the midst of the storms.

I will never minimize the darkness. Because light shines brightest in the darkness. ~OC

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Mile Marker Moments

Today’s a new day! I will never forget Sunday November 14, 2004. A little over a year after being diagnosed with cancer and having my chest cracked open to remove a golf ball tumor, I completed my very first half marathon on that day. I was blessed that so many friends and family members were at the finish line to help Laura and I celebrate. What a memorable day. My running days gave me so many amazing memories.

I am incredibly thankful for what I call “Mile Marker Moments.” What are Mile Marker Moments? They are moments in life where everything hits the wall. A moment where you have to decide if you continue on or if you call for a ride to the finish line. During my marathon days, my Mile Marker Moment came at mile 19. My body was done. The music on my playlist and the cheers from the crowd were just not enough. At mile 19, I always wanted to throw in the towel. But in that moment, God would fill my body and mind with amazing energy. The strength to get through all the pain and doubts, to continue on and run strong through the finish line. As much as I loved crossing that finish line, the real lessons were learned at mile 19. I truly value the Mile Marker Moments of life.

Mile Marker Moments teach us:
My last year running marathons was extremely tough. My body was really starting to shut down and every training run and marathon was filled with pain. My times had went from somewhat respectable to something far from respectable. Running was no longer easy for me. But after each marathon that year, I would spend time reflecting on the race and my results. I would always walk away with a teachable moment. It was on me to take the time to embrace those lessons and learn from them. Just like mile 19 of a marathon, we have to commit to embracing the valuable lessons of life instead of quitting.

Mile Marker Moments challenge us:
During that last year of running marathons, there were times I really hated running. The pain, the slow pace were overwhelming at times. Here I was the Blessed Overcomer of running, the guy whose story for some reason was encouraging others and I was struggling. But I challenged myself to do better. That can be difficult when your body is betraying you. During those low moments, I would use every race to challenge myself to learn and hopefully do better the next race. We need to use the mile marker moments of life to fuel us for the next opportunity.

Mile Marker Moments shape us: All the tough moments in running and life have strengthened my faith. God has used all of those Mile Marker Moments, to make me a better and stronger person. The Mile Marker Moments of my crazy beautiful health journey remind me that even in my darkest moments, God is still in control. The Mile Marker Moments of my life have blessed me with the opportunity to have some amazing conversations with people dealing with their own mile marker moments. During those conversations, I encourage people to let those mile marker moments help shape them, but not become their identity.

So as you face your own Mile Marker Moments, allow them to reveal God’s purpose for your life. Let them remind you to never give up and keep your eyes on the finish line. ~OC

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Storms

Today’s a new day! Living in Florida means we deal with a lot of storms. In the summer it can be sunny out, but around 3 or 4 o’clock a storm can come out of nowhere. Some days it can be raining hard in the front yard, but sunny in the back. Of course then there are the hurricanes. Some hurricanes move quickly through, while others just stall over us.

On this crazy beautiful journey called life, we will face many different storms. Sometimes there will be a light rain that comes and goes in a minute.
Then there are storms that blow in, causing havoc for everyone and everything in its path.

We don’t like walking through the storms of life. Who does? We love the sunny beach weather. But unfortunately that is not the world we live in. We will all walk through a storm or two during this life. We will all face days of blowing winds and flooding rain. But stop for just a minute and be still. In that minute, I am sure you can think of one person who is currently walking through a storm. The storms of life are hitting them from every direction. Maybe that person is you. I often hear pastors share we are either walking in a storm, just coming out of a storm or about to walk through a storm. How true. If you are currently walking through a storm, I encourage you to take hold of the strong hand of God. He will lift you up as you face the raging seas.

When we walk through a storm, that doesn’t mean God doesn’t love us or isn’t listening to our prayers. On the contrary, the scriptures tell us in this life we will all face troubles. We like to skip over those scriptures. But that doesn’t change the fact that we will all face trials in life. Even when we walk through a storm, we can take heart because God has overcome this world. That means He will never leave or forsake us. That should bring peace and comfort to everyone.

I have walked through many storms in my life. I have come to learn these storms have a purpose. That may not always be clear as we are walking through a raging storm. But if we will take the time to listen, God will reveal the lessons he has for us as we walk through those turbulent storms. I have learned God never wastes a storm. God can use a storm to show us the purpose for our lives or to reconnect us to our true purpose in life.

Hopefully this will bring you peace as you walk through your storm. Especially if you have walked through a storm for many years. You have been praying and crying out to God, but it appears he is not listening. Believe me I have been there. I have been walking through a stormy season for the last 22 years. I have been hit by one storm after another. So I get it my friend. Life can be hard. But in the mist of my storms, I have seen God grow my faith in a life changing way. God has allowed me to share His story with many as I walk the halls of the hospital, during treatments and medical appointments. As I continue to run this crazy beautiful health journey, God continues to show me that my worth and value are not tied to my health, career, success or whatever I might achieve in life. No, my value and worth are found in being a child of God. In being chosen by him, called by him, and equipped by him for a purpose. Even during the storms.

Sometimes our lives are rocked by the storms of life, so that we can rebuild on a stronger foundation. On the firm foundation of God. ~OC

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Love is Choosing…

Today’s a new day! In John 13:35, we read the following words: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Yesterday, someone I know attacked me in a private message for sharing a post about how we should love and respect women in power. It was a post to encourage everyone to show love and respect to women. This friend decided my post was somehow a political statement and decided to lash out and end our friendship.

I chose not to respond to this friend’s message. Instead, I chose to pray for this person and anyone else who might have such hate in their hearts. I decided to show love and forgiveness.

Love should never be a debate. But sometimes we, even as Christians, can get so caught up in being right, that we forget what really matters. This is sadly evident on social media. It saddens me when I think of the ways so many people treat each other on these platforms. So many sides, so many opinions, yelling back and forth at each other, each claiming they are right. It breaks my heart seeing all the angry post and unkind comments.

Is all this hate worth it?

The only thing that matters in the end is not whether the other person was wrong or right, but that we showed them love, that we showed them who God is. Because the truth is, as Christians we have a freedom and a hope that is life changing. In the light of eternity, we do not have to prove ourselves right on every issue; instead, we can live our lives marked by love. We can never argue people into believing the Gospel, but God’s love can draw them to the Gospel.

Think about this: Jesus died for that gay or transgender person, Jesus died for that corrupt politician, Jesus died for the person who wrote that post that made you so angry or sad. Jesus died for them, because He loves them.

Now, don’t get me wrong, loving someone doesn’t mean you agree with everything they say, or that you just accept everything as right. Sometimes, loving someone means having tough, but constructive conversations. This can be difficult. But it’s all about how we express ourselves in our words and actions.

Instead of shaming someone for what they think, we can respectfully disagree. Instead of letting our anger or fear get the better of us on social media, stick to what you believe while letting others know that they are loved. Showing love in the middle of a disagreement can be a beautiful gift.

Let love be the attitude you show towards others. I may not agree with you, but I love you despite that, because God loves me despite all of my flaws.

If we make the choice to live a life of love, people will notice, and they will wonder why we are so different. Especially now, during these times of so much hate and division. We need to step up and let our light shine more than ever.

What is love? In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 love is described this way:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all thing.”

What a beautiful picture of love. Patient, kind, not self-seeking. Ask yourself this: What do you want to be known for in this life? How do you want to live your life?

As we run this journey called life, will we mess up? Say the wrong thing. Post the wrong thing. Absolutely! But God never expects perfection from us. No, He only asks us to take one small step, one act of love, and trust that He will continue to grow us.

How do we grow in love?

First, and most important, we pray. If we ask God to grow us in any area of our lives, He is faithful to answer. Not always in a way we might choose, but in a way that’s best for us.

We can share love and hope in every area of our lives. Even on social media. We can choose to post encouraging messages on our pages. We can choose to scroll past the debates that stir up anger in us. We can choose not to get involved in the madness.

As we read 1 Corinthian 13:1-3, we see how love should be behind all of our actions:

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

As we continue to grow and walk out this journey called life, we can choose to do the following:

Love is choosing to respect and serve others…

Love is choosing not to judge others…

Love is choosing to be a bright light in a dark world…

Love is choosing to stand up against hate and racism…

Love is choosing to embrace diversity…

Love is choosing to admit when we’re wrong…

Love is God’s heart for each of us…

I believe that love has the power to change both our hearts, and this broken world. I will always choose love. ~OC

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Trials and Testimonies

Today’s a new day!

I look back and marvel how far I have come . . .

I don’t wonder how I’ve made it . . .

I already know the answer. . .

Only with God’s help have I powered through. . .

For without His strength I am not sure where I would be.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

How comforting to know that God knows the plans He has for us, He knows what challenges we will face in life, what changes we will face, and because He knows He gives us the strength and the wisdom to face each one and to overcome. With God I can face all things.

In 2002, I started on a crazy beautiful health journey. As I sit here today, twenty-two years later I have been quietly reflecting on all of life’s journeys that God has placed before me. Like everyone else, my journey has been filled with adventures, challenges, losses and obstacles. It has also been filled with a lot of faith.

Our faith will be tested throughout life, but there is a reason for those tests. For me personally, my faith has grown through my trials, my faith has persevered through these trials and my faith has grown stronger through
my trials. Without the trials of life, our faith at best would be minimal, yet through the trials our faith grows endlessly.

Over the past twenty-two years, I have had many discussion about the life changing moments we face in life, and how the way we react to them is a testament, a witness for those around us, for those observing. I believe our testimonies have more of an impact in those moments in life, than all the words we say. Our trials produce our testimonies.

As I continue running this crazy beautiful health journey, I have countless stories how God has worked in my life, how He gave me strength beyond measure when I needed it most, and how He continues to guide
me and give me strength, peace and wisdom. For that I am thankful. ~OC

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Reconstructing Over Deconstruction

Today’s a new day! I have noticed a lot of articles and conversations about Christians Deconstructing from their faith. It seems to be a hot topic these days. Before I go any further, let me share that I am not deconstructing from my faith. Even though I can definitely understand why many believers are choosing to walk down that road. Have you noticed how some churches and Christians treat people? And the Christian on Christian meanness is unbelievable. It seems like these days if you do not walk and believe in the latest Christian talking points you might just get ostracized or ghosted.

I get it. I have been there. In 2019, after being given only weeks to live, I experienced a beautiful miracle from God. The man given the nickname “The Man Who Refuses to Die,” was given a beautiful gift from God. More time. After that miracle in 2019, I was the flavor of the month among many in the Christian Community. I was asked to speak and pray at churches and different gatherings. People from around the world wanted to hang out with the “Miracle Man.” I do not share this to brag. No, I share this because that part of my life was only for a short season. The “Miracle Man” had the audacity to get really sick again. Not something I wanted or prayed for. But some in the Christian community, decided my declining health issues must be from lack a lack of faith or unresolved sin in my life. Even though many in the Christian community have tried to put that on me and still do today, I never allowed those lies and poor theology get in my heart and mind. So just a few short years after the miracle of 2019, I went from being the flavor of the month to the man many forgot.

If I was ever going to deconstruct, that would have been the time. The same people who invited me to every spiritual gathering and get together, now appeared to have lost my number. Since my health has taken a turn for the worse, I have not heard from many who used to call me brother. Those who were so quick to use my story have chosen to stop walking with the man behind the story.

So, I understand why people walk away from their faith disillusioned. I understand how difficult it is to make sense of your faith when it appears life is falling apart all around you. I understand how difficult it can be to keep your faith in the middle of the storm.

And yet, here I am. My faith is stronger than ever. I have walked through counterfeit churches and Christians and held onto my faith. I have chosen not to deconstruct from my faith; but reconstruct my faith.

What are you talking about? I know, some of you are just learning about deconstruction and I am adding in a new phrase. What is Reconstructed Faith? I may have just created a new phrase.

Reconstructed Faith means God is bigger than any problem we will ever face in life. I believe many Christians put God in a box. We all think we have God figured out until life punches us in the face. But after life knocks you to your knees, you begin to ask more questions. You begin to examine your life and faith a little more closely.

The events I experienced after my miracle in 2019, did not lead me to reconstruct my faith. No, that started years earlier. I am still walking that process out.

As I continue to walk out my faith journey, I realize more and more how important it is to keep my focus on God; not on the Church or other Christians. The Church and Christian Community are filled with flawed individuals. All of us are flawed humans who fail at living God’s ways a lot of the time. But I pray you give both the Church and God’s people a second or third chance. God can and will answer your questions. God can and will heal us from all of the hurt and pain.

Instead of Deconstructing from your faith, allow God to pull you close to Him in the middle of your storm and hold you close. God desires to change us midst of our trials. Even though sometimes it feels easier to walk away from our faith, God desires for us to have an intimate relationship with Him. ~OC

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Choose Wisely

Today’s a new day! As I run this crazy beautiful health journey, there is nothing I can do to change my current prognosis. But there is something I can do as I continue to battle with my health. Every morning, I get to choose how I deal with my current health issues. I can choose to let this journey be all about me and walk around in victim mode or I can choose to look at the beautiful opportunities this health journey has created for me. Opportunities to share my health journey, my faith and hopefully to encourage someone running their own crazy beautiful health journey. Each morning, I get to choose how I live. You have that same choice every day. Choose wisely. ~OC

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