Tag: Pain

Holy Saturday…We Wait

Today’s a new day! It is Saturday of Holy Week. Yesterday, we reflected on the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. One temptation on this Holy Saturday is to jump past today right to Easter and celebrate the power of the resurrection. We cannot wait to celebrate the Risen Savior. But on this Saturday we wait.

I believe Holy Saturday is critically important to our spiritual growth. Today is a day of waiting.  As Christians, we need to learn how to wait. Although it may seem like God was silent on that Saturday after Good Friday, he was actively at work behind the scenes. Jesus could have raised from the dead on Saturday. Or even within a couple hours after his crucifixion. But Jesus waited to fulfill the promises of scripture. He made his disciples and everyone who loved him wait. Sometimes Jesus makes you and I wait. Most people are not great at waiting. But oftentimes, Jesus uses the waiting period in our lives to prepare our hearts and minds for the plans and purposes he has for each of us. Sometimes, Jesus uses a season of waiting to see if we truly will trust in him.

Holy Saturday is an also a day of grieving.  Just imagine what the disciples and those who loved Jesus must have been experiencing on that first Holy Saturday so many years ago. They did not have the hope of Sunday. So we must not jump past the important lessons on this Holy Saturday.

Jesus had been crucified.  His body laid in a tomb. The Lamb has been slain. Hope seemed to be lost. But on this Holy Saturday, we cannot forget the words Jesus spoke in Matthew 12:40, “For just as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.”
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And so on this Holy Saturday we wait…Sunday is coming. ~OC

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Good Friday: Through A Different Set Of Eyes

Today’s a new day! On this Good Friday, let us take the time to reflect on Jesus and the Cross. I want to look at it through a different set of eyes. ~OC

On this Friday, my final moments took place on a hill at Golgotha – referred to as the place of the skull. On this day, I am surrounded by pain, some people who are angry, while others are filled with sadness. Death is in the air. I could have never imagined through all this pain and misery, everything would change for me. This place designed for death, would turn into a place of life for me.

My journey is pretty typical. I learned how to pray. I learned God’s word. I sat around and listened to the elders share from God’s word. I celebrated all the religious traditions. But as I look back, I was just going through the motions. As I grew older, I eventually left the faith of my parents. As soon as I was old enough, I left home with a little money my father gave me and never went back.

I recall the first time I ever heard this man named Jesus teach. He was sharing a story to the crowd that was assembled and it sounded like he was talking about me. This man Jesus was talking about a young man who left home with the inheritance from his father to go live his life. This young man ended up making some poor choices and longed for the days of his childhood home. This was story! How could this teacher know my story?

Then this teacher continues to tell how this lost son returned home to his father. But did the father tell the returning son, I told you so? Did this father reject his son? No, as the father saw the son approaching from a distance, he ran to him, embraced him, loved on him and celebrated his return.

But that wasn’t my story. I never could or would return home. I was positive my father would never take me back. And God was certainly angry with me. I had sinned way too much. When the money my father gave me was all gone, I started stealing. Stealing led to other poor choices. I was pretty good at stealing and rarely got caught. On those rare occasions I did get caught, I would promise myself I would never do that again. Until I did. I wanted to change, but I always ended up going back to what I knew. Doing what I needed to do to survive.

My heart became harder. I didn’t care who I hurt. I did not listen to anyone. I was my own man.

I remember the second time I saw this man named Jesus. We both were in Jericho and I witnessed him meeting Zacchaeus. Everyone in Jericho knew and hated Zacchaeus. He was a tax collector who cheated anyone and everyone he could. I watched Jesus carefully from the shadows. No telling what Jesus would do to someone like Zacchaeus. But I knew that whatever Jesus said and did to him, I deserved the same as Zacchaeus – but even worse.

I was blown away when Jesus spoke to Zacchaues and actually broke bread with this evil man. Jesus had to know all the terrible things Zacchaeus had done. Every one did. But then something happened that I could not believe. After spending time with Jesus, Zacchaeus promised to give back everything he had stolen and cheated people out of – times four! What? And then Jesus spoke the strangest thing. I remember it like it was yesterday because I have replayed his words everyday since…“Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Wait! What in the world is this Jesus guy talking about?

Salvation! Not punishment that Zacchaues deserved. Loving and forgiving the lost and broken instead condemning them. I tried my best to not think about it. There is no way Jesus would ever speak those words over me. Could he maybe? No, I was much worse than Zacchaeus.

I immediately left Jericho after seeing and hearing what Jesus had spoken to Zacchaeus. I wanted to get away from this man named Jesus. He confused me every time I stopped to hear him speak. As much as the words Jesus spoke brought me a sense of hope, I knew there was no hope for me. I had stolen, lied and hurt too many people. This was the life I had chosen for better or worse. I was a lost cause.

Not longer after seeing Jesus in Jericho, my luck ran out. I was arrested once again and this time hurt several people in the process. That’s how I was found guilty and sentenced to death a few days before Passover.

In a strange way I was relieved. I would never have to hear the stories and celebrate God rescuing “his people”out of Egypt and from slavery so many years ago ever again. I almost laughed that here I was sitting in jail, because I had become a slave to a life of stealing, lying and a host of poor choices.

As I sat in this dark, damp prison cell, the quietness of the moment was interrupted by the prisoner sitting across from me. At first I thought it was the ramblings of a drunk person, but then as I listened more closely the words this man was speaking became more clear. This man sitting across from me was repeating the words from Psalms over and over. All the sudden my thoughts went back to my days as a child and hearing my father speaking those same words over me and my brother.

But those words were not the only thing I recognized. It took me a few minutes, but I also recognized that voice crying out those words. It was so dark in that jail cell, but I did not need to see his face to know that this was the man they called Jesus. Just then several guards walked by and mocked Jesus. “So this is the King of the Jews” they laughed and continued walking.

In that moment, I remembered Jesus entering Jerusalem a few days earlier as people lined the streets and shouted “Hosanna, Hosanna!” The people talked about the miracles Jesus had performed. This prophet from Nazareth. In that moment I remembered the words I had heard Jesus speak in the past and how they had touched my cold heart.

Just then, I heard the guards coming my way. It was time. Time to carry my cross to the hill called Golgotha. Time to face the punishment I justly deserved. As I walked out of that jail, I was blinded by the bright morning light. Then two other prisoners were brought out carrying their own crosses. One was terribly bloodied from a horrible beating and wore a strange crown upon his head. He looked vaguely familiar, but his face was so badly beaten I could not be sure.

We began the long and brutal walk to Golgotha, surrounded by soldiers. The crowd that had gathered was shouting “Crucify him! Crucify the King of the Jews!!!

King of the Jews? That horribly disfigured face…the crown of thorns…the familiar voice….it was him. It was Jesus.

Finally, we arrived to Golgotha. It seemed like we had been walking for days, yet it was still early on this Friday morning. The other criminal and I were nailed to our crosses and placed on each side of Jesus. Two guilty men who deserved our fate and one innocent man, who did not deserve any of this. The sign above him read, “King of the Jews.”

The crowds passing by, mocking Jesus. “Save yourself! Come down off that cross. He saved others, but he cannot save himself. If he comes down, we will believe in him! If you are truly the son of God,come down from that cross!”

Even the other criminal who hung beside him joined in. “Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and save us.”

The crowd motioned that Jesus’ lips were moving, so I turned to listen. The words, “forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” flowed out of his mouth.

In that moment, I closed my eyes as Jesus spoke. His words once again pierced my heart. Forgiveness. That seemed to always be his message. Forgiveness. When I opened my eyes the sky had grown dark. How could that be? It was the middle of the day.

The crowd continued to mock Jesus. As I looked out over the crowd, I noticed a woman crying and looking up at Jesus. She was visibly distraught. I wondered if this grieving woman was Jesus’ mother.

In that moment, I was overwhelmed with emotion and reflecting on my life and all the pain I had caused my family and so many others, I turned to this innocent man next me and tearfully asked, “Jesus, please remember me when you come into your Kingdom.”

In that moment, this man who was so badly beaten turned to me with love in his eyes, and shared the following words , “I tell you the truth today, you will be with me in paradise.”

Tears streamed down my face. This man who knew all of my crimes and cruel deeds, had just shared words that would give me eternal life. I would experience no more pain or suffering. I did not deserve those words, but Jesus had nothing but love, compassion and forgiveness for me.

As I looked over to Jesus, still overwhelmed by his love for me, I heard him speak these final words, “It is finished,” Jesus cried out and then gave up his spirit.

“Surely this man was God’s son,” a nearby guard quickly cried out. Yes, I knew that statement to be true. And yes it was finished, at least for me. The years of brokenness, pain and despair had been replaced with joy. In that moment, I remembered those beautiful words Jesus had shared with me just a few minutes prior, “I tell you this today, you will be with me in paradise.” Amen.

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The Jesus Way

Today’s a new day! Here’s a little known and rather obscure fact: I have a little scar just below my lower lip. Back in my skateboarding days, I attempted to jump over several garbage cans on my board. I actually make the jump, but instead of landing in the middle of the skateboard, I landed on the back of the board. The skateboard went flying up and the tip of the board hit me in the mouth. I recall there being a good amount of bleeding.

I seldom think about or acknowledge that scar. It’s there and yet I pay absolutely no attention to it. It’s become a faded memory of days gone by.

A few days ago, I happened to notice my scar, and a thought came to my mind: “By his stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5). In that moment, I paused for a second and pictured Jesus and his nail scared hands.

I am confident that, unlike me, Jesus has never forgotten his scars. You see, His scars were chosen. His scars were willingly received. His scars were because of love.

As we are in the middle of Holy Week, I thought I would share a few thoughts as we prepare our hearts for Easter Sunday.

We know that Jesus walked his journey from a place of deep and abiding love.

We remember his dying on Good Friday, and of course we remember his rising on Easter Sunday. But, what about the events leading up to those two life changing events.

Let us not forget Thursday of Holy Week. What was Jesus doing on what we now call Maundy Thursday? He was washing feet. Yes, washing feet.

Jesus said that he came to be a servant to all.

On that Thursday before Good Friday, Jesus washed the feet of each of the disciples as one of his final acts of service before his crucifixion. He left no doubt in the minds of his followers: Humble servanthood is His way.

⁠It’s the way of Jesus that we so often forget. Think about it. Foot washing was one of the most lowly tasks. Cleaning stinky, nasty feet…that is the Jesus Way.

⁠So on Maundy Thursday, we remember Jesus as a humble servant. This puts a mark on the ways of Jesus shown throughout the Gospels: eating with the “wrong” people…healing on the “wrong” day…serving instead of being served.⁠

⁠A life of humility—this is the Jesus’ way. Not one of power, prestige, fame, or control that we see so many people chasing after these days.

No, we see humility as Jesus washed the feet of his disciples, whom he chose to call brothers.

⁠Humility. Going around the table, one at a time…24 dirty, nasty feet.⁠

⁠What was going through the minds of the disciples?⁠

⁠We know Peter protested. But what about Judas? His thoughts must have been all over the place. Judas had already sold Jesus out. Yet, Jesus still took the time to wash his feet.

⁠That is who Jesus is. Humble. Gentle. Caring. Strong. Capable. Unconditionally loving.⁠

⁠It’s the Jesus Way.⁠

⁠Tomorrow, we will remember Good Friday. It is the day we reflect on the cross and the price paid by our Savior.

What Jesus did on the Cross that Friday so long ago was about relationships. Think about that Friday for just a moment. Truly remember what Jesus did on that cross for you, me and the whole world.

⁠I believe Jesus is the most compelling figure to ever walk this earth. He willingly came down from heaven, to truly experience what it’s like to walk and live a human existence. But then, like he did with everything else, Jesus flipped the script on death and rose from the grave three days later (but let’s not get ahead of ourselves).

⁠Good Friday is the day we remember Jesus expressing his ultimate love for us. And it is the day we remember just how cruel death is. As I write this post, I remember the disciples, Jesus mother and all who loved Him did not know the whole story like we do. At that moment they only knew that it…was…finished.

⁠Where in your life right now does it seem like “it’s finished”? I encourage you to let the crucified Christ be with you in that place. ⁠

⁠Good Friday is the death before the resurrection.⁠ Take a few moments to take in the reality of this deepest kind of love.

In a few days we will come to Holy Saturday. Do not miss out on this important day of Holy Week.

For the disciples and those who loved Jesus, Saturday was a day of tears and mourning. On Friday, they saw Jesus crucified and buried. None of it made sense to them. Jesus, their teacher and friend was gone. The grief. The loss. They must have asked themselves. “What’s next?”

If you are currently walking through a tough season of loss or a stage of waiting, remember Holy Saturday and acknowledge that loss and grieving are real. That your season of waiting is real. But it doesn’t mean things are over.

The disciples and all those that loved Jesus had no clue what they were going to experience on Sunday. They were just living in their grief and loss.

But in 2025, we know the whole story. We know the story did not end with the tomb. We know the tomb could not hold the King of Kings. But for the disciples and all those who loved Jesus, that Saturday must have been a really difficult day. They did not have the promise that Sunday was coming.

Easter Sunday….A day of Rising.

I believe the following scriptures can paint a better picture than what I could write about Easter Sunday:

“But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher).” ~ John 20:11-16

“We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.” ~Romans 6:4

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
~Romans 8:38-39

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” ~Colossians 3:1-4

We look forward to hearing the words on Easter Sunday—He is risen! He is Alive! Yes, Jesus has risen indeed and is alive forevermore.

I pray everyone will take the time to reflect on Holy Week as we prepare our hearts for Easter Sunday and celebrate the resurrected King. ~OC

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The Ultimate Betrayal

Today’s a new day! On this Wednesday of Holy Week, we remember how one of Jesus disciples Judas Iscariot betrayed Him. The same Judas who had walked with Jesus and the other disciples and who Jesus loved. How could Judas betray Jesus? Let’s take a closer look.

Ultimately It was Judas’ choice to betray Jesus, but it wasn’t just one bad choice, it was a series of bad decisions. The first decision was to confer with the chief priests. The second was agreeing to their terms. And then he had to intentionally seek an opportunity to betray Jesus. 

But isn’t that how life works? One bad decision, can lead to another bad decision and before we know it, we become someone we do not recognize.

Let me stop before I end up writing a different post and let’s continue unpacking Judas betrayal of Jesus.

What did Judas get out of this betrayal? Thirty pieces of silver. In Biblical times, that was equivalent to four months wages. It was the exact price paid to a master if his slave died by an ox (Exodus 21:32). That’s all the chief priest, the elders and Judas considered Jesus to be worth. Thirty pieces of silver. While it was not an insignificant amount, it certainly wasn’t a get rich quick scheme. But did Judas really do it for the money?

As I have studied Judas betrayal of Jesus, I came across some interesting opinions. Many scholars and historians believe Judas became disenchanted when Jesus didn’t prove to be the political leader he had hoped. Judas was caught up in the narrative of overthrowing the Roman Empire. Other scholars and historians believe that the Jewish authorities viewed a rebellion as potentially dangerous for the Jewish people. Could Judas have handed Jesus over in order to prevent a larger rebellion?

While we may never completely understand Judas’ motives, we know he regretted his actions. Fulfilling Zechariah’s prophecy, he gave the silver to the temple and later hung himself in the field they purchased with the blood money. The guilt and regret was too much for Judas to handle.

While it’s easy to sit around and vilify Judas, remember, Judas isn’t responsible for Christ’s death. It was our sins that held Jesus on that cross. We are all guilty of condemning Jesus to death. I hope Judas’ shocking betrayal will remind us to question our own motives and consider where our loyalties lie. Just because someone is in ministry or serving others does not mean they love Jesus. If someone who followed Jesus so closely could turn his back on him, we must guard our hearts and minds from loving the things of this world more than we love Jesus. Popularity. Money. Political Ideology. Religious Denominations. Nothing should come before Jesus.

And let us not forget, after agreeing to betray Jesus, Judas returned to Jesus to partake in the Last Supper and have his feet washed by Jesus. Just waiting for the perfect moment to hand Jesus over in the ultimate betrayal.

So on this Spy Wednesday, let us remember how quickly things can change when we take our eyes off of Jesus and put them on the material things of this world. ~OC

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Hold On And Lean In

Hello. Here is another “Lost Writing from OC.” I wrote this one back in 2019.

Today’s a new day! As we walk through this journey called life, Jesus told us pain and suffering would be a part of our lives:

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” ~John 16:33

I love that Jesus did not simply say we’ll have trials and sorrow and then leaves it to us to figure out. No, He promises peace and reminds us that he has overcome the world, meaning the tough times we face in life are not without purpose.

Our pain and suffering often sets us up to see God supernaturally working in our lives.

Regardless of what pain and suffering we might currently be walking through or what challenges we might face in the future, here are some lessons God as taught me as I have walked out my own crazy beautiful health journey:

Bring Your Pain To God, Do Not Run From Him

When we run from God in seasons of challenge, all we’re left with is our own limited ability to cope with what we’re walking through. On the other hand, God invites us to draw near to him that we might experience his peace, healing, and closeness and this is what Scripture points us towards.

 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” ~Psalm 34:18

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” ~Psalm 147:3

Like our need for a surgeon to address physical wounds to our body, God desires to conduct divine surgery on our soul which results in supernatural healing despite how difficult our challenge.

When we bring our pain to God we recognize that there is a purpose and in time the One who loves us unconditionally will reveal his divine purpose through it.

Fill Your Life With God’s Word and God’s People

How we respond to pain and suffering is vital to how we process what’s happening and how healing will take place. If we treat physical sickness with the the wrong medication, not only will our illness continue, but it could possibly become much worse.

Also if we fill our minds with wrong thoughts: God is mad at me, God is not good, worse things are going to happen, etc., we will struggle to experience the peace of God he promises to us in scripture. Check out Philippians 4:7.

But when we choose to fill our lives with God’s Word and surround ourselves with people who speak hope and encouragement into our lives, we will experience more peace as we walk out the tough moments in life.

“How sweet your words taste to me; they are sweeter than honey.” ~Psalm 119:103

When we fill our minds with God’s Word, we are reminding ourselves of who our God is, what he’s like, and we replace the lies of the enemy with the truth of our good God.

Do Not Be Filled With Worry, Allow Your Life To Overflow With Worship

Powerful things begin to happens when we actively choose to worship God through our suffering. This is not denying the reality of the situation, it’s simply redirecting our efforts from one of worry to one of worship.

Worship changes our perspective. Worship speaks about where our confidence and hope resides. Worship redirects our thinking. Worship places the results in God’s hands. Not ours.

Regardless of where our pain and suffering come from, when we begin to worship God through our struggles, spiritual chains begin to break so that we are not ruled by our current circumstance but we set our eyes on something higher.

Believe That God Will Take Our Sorrow And Turn It Into Great Joy

As we walk through the storms of life, we must remember God can take our worst moments and turn them into something good. Of course it’s not always easy to see that when we’re being knocked around by the crashing seas. When we think about Jesus’ greatest sorrow – suffering the shame, punishment, and death for our sin, the result was great joy – the redemption of humanity and the opportunity for a relationship with the living God.

When I reflect on my own health challenges which has brought great pain, I see how God has used this season of discomfort to strengthen and encourage others which has resulted in my own comfort and joy through this crazy beautiful health journey.

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 1:4, “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

Jesus willingly suffered the greatest pain because he knew the end of the story, and so do we. The words in Revelations 21:4 should bring us great comfort:

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Also as we walk through pain and suffering of this world remember these words of Jesus:

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” ~ John 14:27

“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” ~Matthew 28:20

I pray this post brings you encouragement as you walk through a tough season of life. Keep holding on and leaning into the promises of God. ~OC

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Live On Mission

Today’s a new day! Several weeks ago, someone online asked me with everything going on with my health, what keeps me motivated to keep writing and trying to be a positive influence?

Living out this crazy beautiful health journey is not easy. The journey has been full of twist and turns. Whether it’s multiple doctor appointments, test after test and too many hospital visits to count. As I have run this race, God has allowed me to share this health journey with multiple people and groups. Whether that’s through having one on one conversations, people reading our books, watching the documentary He used to share our story, this blog or by my postings on social media. I take the things God has called me to do seriously because it is my act of worship and service to Him. Since I started dealing with these health issues so many years ago, God has allowed me to share this journey with so many people. It has been a true pleasure, but also a major responsibility. A responsibility to not make this story about me. Most days, I am dealing with a lot of pain and discomfort as I write and share what’s on my heart. Also these days because of the diagnosis of Early Onset Dementia, finding the time and the words is becoming much harder. Plus, based on my health declining, I find myself sleeping much more these days. So creating new content is much harder than I expected it to be. Plus it takes a lot out of energy and vulnerability to share about everything that life brings me each day. It’s not always pretty. I spend a lot of time praying about what I should share and post. I create and write to encourage others and point people to God. That is one of my great desires.

What keeps me motivated is not about gaining followers or affirmation because those things will fade away and are not reliable motivations. The answer to the question posed to me several weeks ago can be found in John 3:30, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” Because when I try to run this health journey or write on my own, I end up in a crazy mess of pride, but when I live and write for Him, life is much fuller and sweeter.

As I continue to run this health journey, I want to spend my time and energy making much of Jesus and living in the fullness of His presence. I do this by using the gifts and passions He has given me to create writings that will hopefully encourage others and help them as they walk through their own life journey and to begin seeking a stronger relationship with God. I believe this quote by Francis Chan sums it up pretty well, “Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” I want the things that God allows me to share to outlive me. I want my life to make an eternal difference.

When I look at the life of Jesus, I see a life on mission. He came and lived out a purpose driven life. Nothing distracted Him from His mission, and through the cross, He invites us to live on mission right where we are. Though most of my days are spent living with various health concerns, I want to meet with Him through it all. I do not want to waste the precious moments I have been given dreaming and wishing my journey looked different – I want to do all that I can with what God has given me. I want to use the time, energy, talents, and dreams God has placed in my heart to bring Him glory.

When I get to the end of each day, I want to be able to say “Lord, I did all I could to be your hands and feet. I want my legs to be tired, my body to be spent, and my mind to be at peace knowing that I am living for Him and not the temporary. Even if it means I have to get a little uncomfortable, or show some vulnerability, I want my words to be His tools with a purpose. More Jesus, less me, is my motivation to write, create and share my crazy beautiful health journey with others. I want to live on mission. ~OC

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Endurance

Today’s a new day! For the past twenty -three years, chronic illness and pain have been a close and unwanted companion to me. This unwanted intruder is always trying to destroy my life.

Chronic illness and pain is a powerful thing, continuously trying to snatch my peace, happiness and positive attitude like a thief in the night. As I write this, with pain shooting throughout my body and my soul weary within me, I consider the great truths of 2 Corinthians (take time to read it for yourself). Someday, despite my greatest efforts to hold on to hope and strength, my soul and spirit grow weary in fighting through the physical pain I endure on a daily basis. I often find myself being led to a prayer of brokenness in these moments. “Oh Lord, what good am I to you in this place? How much more could I offer you if I were healthy, energized, and strong! Lord, what is the point of this pain?”

The truth is that physical or emotional pain, especially when it is chronic, has a way of stripping away the masks we tend to wear, leaving our hearts exposed and our self-sufficient ways of life threatened. It clears away the sea of fog filled with empty distractions and suddenly makes us face the question: Is it worth following Jesus when this is what life will be like?

Pain is never easy or pleasant, but nothing can compare to the pain of eternity without God. And so my pain today is a small glimpse of what I have been saved from. How much more can we grasp the beautiful and glorious promise of eternity with our Savior, free from pain, worries, health issues and the distractions of this world. The beautiful God inspired truths we find in the Bible give us a reason to push through the storms, a purpose to live out and a sense of hope to endure the rough seas of this life.

I spend many sleepless nights looking to the One who understands everything we walk through in our daily journey. I don’t know about you, but there is a tendency to turn inward during this crazy beautiful health journey. Sometimes, I think no one can possibly understand the suffering I endure each day of my life. But there is someone who understands—who has been through everything I am going through, and everything I will go through, and far, far more—Jesus.

A question I have for each of us. If we truly believe God always keeps his promises and will never forsake us, why do we often go to Him last? The truth is that no one can fully understand our pain in the way our Savior can, the only One who knows us intimately and has walked this hard road before us. We are not left to endure the pain of this life in loneliness and our own strength. Rather, we serve a God who bears the physical scars of His love for us and sympathizes with us as one who has lived as a human being and suffered more than you or I will ever know.

God longs to fill the broken pieces of our lives, often left by suffering, with the hope of the gospel and the healing power of His presence. One thought about our afflictions can never be true—that no one understands them. We have a God with nail scared hands walking with us through this journey. We have the privilege to speak to a God whose time on earth was accompanied by the afflictions of poverty, of disappointment, of betrayal, of mockery, a terrible beating and death. Jesus offers us mercy and grace in our time of need. So cry out to Him! God does not leave us to fend for ourselves. I am so thankful for those promises. When we have nothing left and are struggling to put one foot in front of another, we can cry out to Jesus, who not only understands but strengthens us when we are weak, equips us when we are weary, and brings beauty out of our brokenness. I am thankful that we have a hope beyond our pain because of the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ.

We have a Choice:

As I write this post, I am allowing God’s word to speak truth to my own soul just as much as to yours. Though there are times when pain can seem almost unbearable, we have a hope that much of the suffering world does not know. While we naturally desire the healing of our bodies or our minds, Jesus desires the healing of our soul above all. And we will either allow the period of pain to bring us closer to Jesus or to pull us away from Him. Be aware that the storms of life can cause us to turn away from Jesus, in crippling bitterness or toward futile self-reliance, or it can cause us to turn to Jesus, trusting that He knows, cares, helps, and will one day bring us to a world where faith will become sight and pain will be no more.

So let’s cry out to Him in our pain and discomfort. Although we are afflicted in every way, we will not be crushed because of the grace of Jesus Christ that is poured out to us. He will only allow what will be used for His good and loving purposes in our lives and if He has chosen to allow us to endure some form of pain or affliction, we can find strength in the promise that He will only allow for an allotted time what He intends to use for our good and his glory.

Don’t give up or give way to despair, for there is a glorious treasure to be found when the pain of this world drives us to Jesus, and it is of far greater worth than any earthly relief. Yes, pain and affliction are real in this world. Jesus knows that. But what could crush us as we struggle on in faith, might be the means of God reshaping and revealing His purpose for our lives.

Health issues will be my close companion, it would seem, until Jesus calls me home. But when the pain and suffering tries to drive me to despair, I have a God who understands, and who helps, and who will use this health journey to mold me into His likeness. This crazy beautiful health journey will not defeat me, for God is greater than anything this world throws at me. Lean into that truth and promise today. ~OC

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Come Together

Today’s a new day! Finding humor during the hard moments in life is important, but we must remember how some things that might be just a minor inconvenience for the wealthy, able bodied or younger person can be devastating for the poor, disabled and elderly. Let’s spend a little looking out for each other as we continue to live in these uncertain times. ~OC

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The Life of Job

Today’s a new day! I couldn’t sleep last night and as I was studying God’s word, He directed me to the Book of Job in the Bible. As I was studying, several thoughts came to my mind. As Job was experiencing the toughest days of his life, he had no idea there was a conversation between God and Satan happening in the heavens above. But that conversation between the King of Kings and the Prince of Darkness decided what ended up happening to Job on earth. And let me tell you, it wasn’t good. The storms of life hit Job smack in the face.

Can you imagine walking in Job’s shoes for even an hour? He lost everything — his cattle, his flocks, his finances, and worst of all, his whole family except for his wife. And it all happened so quickly. Oh, and his friends were not very encouraging.

Yet, despite all the turmoil unfolding right in front of him, what did Job do? He got up, tore his robe, and shaved his head. And then, he fell to the ground and worshiped. Worshipped! Really?

Job’s reaction might seem a little crazy to some of us. How could he still worship God after everything that had just happened to him? But that’s exactly what Job did. That is why we can find such truth and encouragement from the Book of Job.

As mentioned above, Job got up, tore his robe, and shaved his head; then he fell to the ground and worshiped. He said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:20-21).

Despite his faith being put to the ultimate test, Job passed with flying colors. If the devil had been right in his assessment of Job, it would have meant that the devil was greater or equal to God. But Job didn’t waver. No, he wasn’t a hypocrite, and he didn’t follow the king of hypocrites.

So, here’s a question for each of us as we walk into this new week. If we were ever placed in Job’s shoes, would we react the same way? Would we still worship God in the midst of unimaginable pain and loss? It’s not an easy question to answer, but it’s worth considering. Job’s story shows us that it’s possible to have a soul that’s well, even in the midst of tragedy. And that’s something we can all strive for as we walk out our own life journey. ~OC

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Still Standing and Thankful

Today’s a new day! I don’t like being in pain and I don’t like having multiple health issues that will probably shorten my life. I would love to grow old with my bride. But I realize that may not be the plans God has for my life. But I know and I trust that He is faithful. God’s plans are the best and do not revolve around me. Acts 13:36 says, “when David had served God’s purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep”. When God has done what he wants through me, I will step into heaven in his perfect timing.

Why has God allowed me to walk this health journey? Maybe it is to help me be a better husband and friend. Maybe it’s an opportunity to share the love of Jesus with more people. Maybe it’s for reasons way beyond my understanding. All I know is that God has given me this gift of health issues to use for his glory. All I know is that I will continue to trust and serve him.

Sometimes it is still hard to comprehend that my life could end at any moment. But isn’t that the case for all of us? As the Bible teaches,

All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of the Lord stands forever. (1 Peter 1:24)

When I received my first diagnosis in August 2002, it was a total shock. I knew I didn’t feel great, but I had no idea how I was so sick. My life at that time involved being a husband, a social worker and volunteer at multiple ministries.

Back then, some doctors shared I might only have five years to live. However, God had other ideas and even though my health journey has been full of twist and turns and multiple life threatening illnesses, I am still standing. Some days my life has felt like a ticking time bomb. My bride has become an expert in dealing with multiple infections,various types of devices being surgically implanted into my body and various treatments to just keep me alive.

As the multiple health issues continue to weaken my body, I am thankfully aware that Jesus is my Lord and Savior in whom I can depend, and that all other ground is sinking sand. I am so grateful to God for everything. I am thankful for who God is, his majesty, his splendour, and his promises. I am thankful for my bride, family, friends and life. I am so thankful to God for the resurrection of Jesus which means I will have victory over death and do not need to fear what my future holds. It is such a comfort to read,

“Death has been swallowed up in victory”
  “Where, O death, is your victory?
  Where, O death, is your sting?”
The sting of death is sin and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God. He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:54-56)

As my body grows weaker, I am thankful God continues to allow me to truly embrace life. To continue making beautiful memories with my bride. Some dear friends even bought me an electric trike to get around town. Watch out world! I will enjoy the new bike in between my many naps. After years of not being able to sleep, most of my days now involve sleeping most of the day.

What can be hard is coping with chronic pain and deteriorating health while still navigating the physical and emotional challenges of trying to live a “normal life.” Another challenge is not knowing what each day might bring. It is impossible to make plans. Between multiple medical appointments and hospitalizations, it can be difficult to make any plans.

However, I am just so thankful for God’s guidance through his word. The Bible is so clear about what God wants me to do now, even as I grow weaker: “Be joyful always; pray continuously; give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thess 5:16). God is so clear. This is what God wants me to do now. I am thankful he continues to allow me to live an amazing life.

So, I will continue to thank God for this gift of health issues because he is good and he is using it for his purposes. The plans of the Lord are perfect, even if I do not always know the reasons I continue to walk through this crazy beautiful health journey. All I know is that someday, I will be in the loving presence of Jesus. But until then, I will continue to live life and embrace every moment. If you see me out and about on my trike, stop and say hello. Oh, and wake me up if I happen to be asleep. ~OC

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